Options Magazine-February 2015 by Options Magazine

options

February 2015

LGBTQ News, Resources & Events

Introducing

Ask Paula pg. 12

Rhode Islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s LGBTQ Community Magazine Since 1982

FREE

options

In This Issue:

Rhode Islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer community news source since 1982. February 2015, Vol. XXXIII, Issue 10

Publisher Kyle McKendall kyle@optionsri.org Editor in Chief Jen Stevens editor@optionsri.org Calendar Editor Samuel Simas info@optionsri.org

Introducing Ask Paula

Senior Copy Editor Myra Shays

pg. 12

Copy Editors Bradford Greer, Maria Phillips Graphic Design Theresa Barzyk

Christina Rondeau: Savvy Sister pg. 10

Trans*gender Medicine Conference pg. 13

4 From the Editor 5 Being Inclusive of People of Color 6 From the Publisher 6 Advertisers 8 Calendar of Events 10 News Briefs 12 Introducing Ask Paula 13 Trans*gender Medicine Conference 14 On the Shoulders of Giants 16 LGBTQ Struggles at URI

An Interview with Representative Edie Ajello pg. 14

20 Out on the Town 22 NCAA Champions Respect 24 ACOS Opens New Housing 25 Exciting Events with RI Pride 26 News from SAGE-RI 27 Youth Pride Intern Speaks 28 I Can Tell You 30 Hometown Recovery with APRI 31 Resources 38 Worth a Look

Home delivery is free! Subscribe at www.optionsri.org, email frank@optionsri.org, or write to us at our PO Box. ÂŠ OPTIONS 2015. Options is published monthly. The opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the governing board, volunteers, or staff. Listings are provided as a resource and do not imply endorsement. Submissions to Options must include a phone number or email address. Names may be withheld on request. Submissions, ads, calendar, or resource listings for the March issue must be delivered by February 13.

Options | February 2015

Writers Kurt Bagley, Christion Battey, Adam Brooks, Jacki Carlson, Cathy S. Cranston, Christopher Dalpe, Bradford Greer, Janelle Heideman, The Lit Chick, Elisa Marie, Kelly Scafariello, Paula Smith, Jen Stevens, Jarune Uwujaren Photographers Jack Hartwein-Sanchez Finance Director Donny McKendall billing@optionsri.org Subscription Manager Francis Ryan frank@optionsri.org Distribution Coordinator Sean Drury sean@optionsri.org Advertising Samuel Simas adver tising@optionsri.org

From the Editor

The Supreme Court of the United States has announced it will rule on the constitutionality of states banning same-sex unions later this year. (pg. 11) This means it’s quite possible that bigoted Americans who would rather see us diving back into closets will have to quickly get used to the idea that equal marriage is here to stay and LGBTQ Americans are entitled to the same rights, obligations, and protections as any other citizens. (Let’s hope for the best.) On one hand, my reaction to this is, “It’s about time the Supreme Court weighed in.” On the other hand, I don’t think anyone could have predicted that 37 states would have marriage equality this early in 2015. I remember national organization Freedom to Marry’s “20/20 Vision” plan articulated in 2010, which aimed to win equal marriage rights in 20 states by the year 2020.That was ambitious, at the time. Massachusetts got the ball rolling by becoming the first state with legal samesex marriage in 2004. Rhode Island activists believed we could be next, but ultimately lagged behind the rest of New England, just sneaking into the top ten in the summer of 2013.The pace wasn’t feeling so swift then. Here we are, a year-and-a-half later, after an incredible wave of momentum, and our best hopes would see that wave carrying us to a place where homophobia is largely a memory. Fifty years to the day before Massachusetts issued the first same-sex marriage licenses, segregation in public schools was found unconstitutional. One decade later the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts passed in the mid-1960s. Perhaps black activists envisioned that momentum leading to an America largely free of racism. It’s evident that hasn’t happened as activists seek to gain momentum, protesting in the highways proclaiming “#BlackLivesMatter.” In recognition of the new momentum in both the gay and black struggles toward acceptance, and in acknowledgment of Black History Month, we’ve brought you a story titled “How White LGBTQ People Can Be More Inclusive of People of Color” (pg. 5) as well as a poem from the perspective of a white lesbian married to a police officer. (pg. 28) We have two compelling stories addressing LGBTQ issues in higher education. One centers on community member Andrew Winters’ controversial departure from URI (pg. 16), while the other cites improvements in college athletics. (pg. 22) I’m happy to announce we’re delivering a new, interactive column to our readers. It’s been suggested to me more than once that Options have an advice column, and Paula Smith delivers with her new column “Ask Paula.” Get to know Paula in her introductory column and consider what questions you’d like to pose to her. (pg. 12)

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In solidarity, Jen Stevens

Options | February 2015

How White LGBTQ People Can Be More Inclusive of People of Color

by Jarune Uwujaren

As a minority group that regularly battles prejudice, violence, and ignorance from governments, hate groups, and the like, LGBTQ people know what it’s like to be discriminated against. That’s why the gay community tends to pride itself on being antidiscriminatory and accepting of people from all walks of life. Unfortunately, the gay community is not devoid of casual racism. Even though, in theory, people should know better, certain forms of racism in the LGBTQ community have become so normalized that they get brushed off as minor. Before I go on, let me define the kind of racism I’m talking about to avoid confusion. Racism, in an institutional sense, is race-based discrimination from a position of power or privilege. This means that a gay person with white privilege can be racist toward gay people of color and people of color in general. I’m not talking about mustache twirling, KKK-grade, Hitler-level racism that’s so obvious anyone with any sense of human decency would banish it from their mind. I’m talking about the “little” things, like the fetishization of black men by gay white men, the stigmatization of Asian men by gay men of other races, mainstream LGBTQ campaigns with little racial awareness, and racial “preferences” that can be innocuous but at times reflect an underlying prejudice. As normalized as they are, they insult LGBTQ people of color who are not well represented in either their own racial communities or the mainstream LGBTQ community. The lack of acceptance from either group puts a strain on how safe LGBTQ people of color feel in a lot of the spaces they occupy. So if you’re white and LGBTQ and you want to make sure that LGBTQ spaces are as safe and inclusive for everyone as possible, here are some steps you can take to support people of color and be more racially aware. Be aware that your experience of being LGBTQ and white is not representative of being lesbian and Asian, or gay and latino, or queer and black. Awareness of intersectionality means recognizing that LGBTQ people of color can be discriminated against not as people of color or as LGBTQ people, but as both simultaneously. For example, if you’re a gay white woman and you’re already aware of how your gender and

Options | February 2015

sexuality intersect, remember that race is yet another intersection, and not a negligible one. In most cases race is highly visible, apparent from birth, and connected to cultural identity and family affiliation. Don’t Think That Being LGBTQ Lets You Off the Hook for Being Racist Keeping intersectionality in mind, understand that just because you’ve faced discrimination doesn’t mean you understand every form of discrimination or are immune to being discriminatory yourself. We all have some form of privilege, and acknowledging your privilege when it comes to race means acknowledging the unconscious ways in which you can also be racist. In the past, when I called out someone (who happened to be gay) for being racially oblivious, his response was that, as a gay person, he can understand what it’s like to be discriminated against for being black. Here’s why I disagree with a statement like that: if a person who has directly experienced racism is telling you that you’re being racially oblivious and you dismiss everything they say because “I’ve been discriminated against too,” you’re devaluing the experiences of people of color just as much as the institutions that continue to exclude them. When LGBTQ people of color call out other people in the community for being racist, they don’t want you to tear your clothes apart and fall to your knees weeping with white guilt. What they want you to do is check yourself, listen to what they have to say, and be more aware of experiences besides your own. Seeing casual racism in the LGBTQ community isn’t about demonizing white people or making people paranoid about causing offense. It’s about making sure we’re all self-aware enough to check our cultural blind spots and truly listen to and value other people’s experiences. Know Casual Racism When You See It What does casual racism look like in LGBTQ spaces? A lot like casual racism everywhere else. Casual racism is thinking mixed race people are “exotic,” penis size is determined by race according to “some studies” that probably don’t exist, black women are aggressive, and just about every other common racial stereotype under the

sun. Really, stereotypes fuel casual racism in all its forms. Casual racism is also thinking that LGBTQ people have transcended all responsibility for dealing with racial issues. For example, if you’re a queer person of color who wants to vocalize a racial concern in a predominantly white queer space and casual racism rears its head, you could be accused of being divisive (extra irony points if you were pointing out divisiveness that actually exists). Sometimes casual racism masquerades as inclusion or open-mindedness. For example, there are some gay people who go out of their way to date someone of another race just to say they’ve done it. Such gays then receive the Congratulatory Cookie of Open Mindedness from people of color for letting us sleep with them. But not really, because dating someone because of their race is as ridiculous as rejecting someone because of their race. The same applies to predominately white gay groups that go out of their way to snag token people of color (oblivious to the fact that these spaces don’t always feel inclusive to the people of color in question). Tokenism may seem progressive on its surface, but it’s really just another form of othering. So if you see casual racism, remember it. And talk about it. Notice if you’re ever guilty of it and, if you are, take responsibility for it. I would say explain it to other white LGBTQ people, but it’s frustrating when it takes a white person saying the same thing people of color have been saying for ages to convince other white people to change their actions. Instead, tell them to take the racerelated concerns of LGBTQ people of color seriously – as in, listen to us. As LGBTQ people, we get silenced all the time, told we’re too sensitive, told not to flaunt our sexuality. Sexual minorities of color can find themselves silenced further when their concerns about race are dismissed by the predominantly white, mainstream LGBTQ community. Let’s keep working to change that. q Jarune Uwujaren is a Contributing Writer for Everyday Feminism. A Nigerian-American recent graduate who’s stumbling towards a career in writing, Jarune can currently be found drifting around the DC metro area with a phone or a laptop nearby.

From the Publisher

Advertisers in This Issue

Dear Reader, Your generous donations of varying amounts continue to arrive in our PO Box and PayPal account. The response to our 2015 appeal has strongly reassured us that you, our readers, are committed to keeping Options Magazine in print. Every dollar offsets printing costs and every reader who vocalizes their support keeps our team energized toward creating this publication. On behalf of the team, please accept my sincere thanks for your contribution. Donations are welcome and celebrated year-round. Every member of the Options team plays a key role in the success of the organization. I am indebted to the people who volunteer their time and invest their energy in Options. As we go to print with this issue, I’d like to express gratitude to the Lit Chick, who has worked diligently to ensure that our website is optimized, and secure. I can’t possibly thank her enough for her contributions to Options. Her expertise, coupled with a commitment to our organization, is an indispensable resource. In addition to her technology contributions, the Lit Chick keeps me versed on queer arts and entertainment with her monthly “Worth a Look” column. Dive into her reviews and visit our website regularly to see what she’s up to next. We’re looking for an accountant to support the organization with yearly tax preparations, and provide financial guidance throughout the year. The time commitment is minimal, but the impact immeasurable. Please consider volunteering if you have the skill set, or recommend a friend or colleague for the position. Only with your help will Options Magazine continue to flourish. We’re looking to fill the seats at our table with people who are committed to ensuring that Rhode Island’s awardwinning thirty-three year old queer community magazine continues well into the future as a useful, high-quality, financially sound publication. If you have any interest in getting involved please do not hesitate to contact me. It all starts with a conversation. Onward,

Kyle McKendall

AIDS Care Ocean State - Drag Bingo............................... 4 AIDS Care Ocean State - Know Your Status.................. 6 AIDS Project Rhode Island.....................................................39 Bill Hendrickson, Electrician....................................................35 Blue Cross Blue Shield of Rhode Island...........................27 City Kitty............................................................................................24 Cruise Planners................................................................................ 7 Family Service of Rhode Island.............................................33 Gregory’s Optical........................................................................... 4 High Rocks Condominiums...................................................... 9 JDHS Photos...................................................................................17 Jennifer Minuto, Attorney........................................................... 7 Jennifer Minuto, Musician..........................................................26 John D. DaPonte, Mental Health Counselor................... 7 Marjorie L. Roblin, Mental Health Counselor...............19 Miriam Hospital - Do It Right.................................................. 7 Mister Sister.....................................................................................13 Patriot Subaru.................................................................................18 Plumbing by Paul...........................................................................19 Quidnessett Country Club.....................................................19 Residential Properties................................................................32 RI Association of Gay Professionals...................................35 RI Pride Prom.................................................................................25 Rue De L’Espoir............................................................................... 4 Servpro...............................................................................................40 The Stable.........................................................................................17 Stephen J. Dennis, Attorney....................................................37 Town Hall Lanes............................................................................36 The Village........................................................................................... 2

Options | February 2015

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never too late to do it right.

Testing, treatment and PEP/PrEP programs

doitright.org Miriam Hospital HIV/STD Clinic 1125 North Main Street Providence, RI

Jennifer A. Minuto LGBT Legal Advocacy.

Options | February 2015

Calendar of Events The Indigo Girls February 13

Gay Prom February 14

February Sun. 1 Options Magazine Release Party, 3-6pm.The Stable, 125 Washington Street Providence.Volunteers needed for distribution.

cash and prizes awarded monthly. Hosted by Kitty Litter and Haley Star. All funds raised benefit AIDS Care Ocean State and AIDS Project RI.

Sun. 8 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7pm. Network for gay and bisexual men 50+. Social, dinner, and meeting. For more info, www.riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010.

Thu. 19 – Sun. 22 The 22nd Annual Rhode Island Spring Flower & Garden Show, 10am-8pm, Sunday until 6pm.The RI Convention Center. www.flowershow.com.

Fri. 13 The Indigo Girls with the RI Philharmonic, 8pm. Providence Performing Arts Center, 220 Weybosset Street, Providence. $45-$75.

Wed. 25 Rhode Island Pride Open House, 7pm. 1005 Main Street #1105 in Pawtucket’s Hope Artiste Village. Social gathering and discussion of community events and opportunities for involvement. All are welcome. For more info, www.prideri.com or 467-2130.

Sat. 14 Lesbian Speed Dating with host Ms. Lesbian RI 2014 Betty Lebesian, 6pm registration/speed dating 6:307:30pm. Aurora, 276 Westminster Street, Providence. $5. Benefits Rhode Island Pride. Sat. 14 Gay Prom: Glitter in the Sky, 7:30pm. Aurora, 276 Westminster Street, Providence. Dress up and dance your high school nightmares away with DJ Andy Morris, DJ Lightning, and DJ Reese. Singles, couples, and all are welcome. Vote for Prom King & Queen and enjoy hors d’oeuvres. Lesbian speed dating at 6pm (extra $5). $20 in advance at www.prideri.com/$30 at the door. 18+. Benefits Rhode Island Pride. Wed. 18 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence. Reading: Real Man Adventures by T. Cooper. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@ gmail.com. Thu. 19 Drag Bingo, 6-9pm. Theme: Heaven and Hell Bingo. Riviera Bingo Palace, 1612 Elmwood Avenue, Cranston. $20 gets you in all games with over $2,000 in

Fri. 27 The Vagina Monologues, 8pm. The Stadium Theatre, 28 Monument Square, Woonsocket. Presented by the Encore Repertory Company. The Obie Awardwinning Vagina Monologues introduces a wildly divergent gathering of female voices taking its audience on both a moving and comical tour of the ultimate forbidden zone, while celebrating female sexuality in all its complexity and mystery.

March Sun. 1 Options Magazine Release Party, 3-6pm. The Stable, 125 Washington Street, Providence. Join Options for the release of the March issue. Volunteers needed for distribution. www.optionsri.org. Sun. 8 RI Pride Goddess Show, 1-5pm. Olive’s, 108 North Main Street, Providence. 16th Annual Celebration of Women in the Arts. Hosted by Ellen Moschetto with Xelle, Bettysioux Tailor, Kristen Minsky, Heather Rose in Clover, Carrie Ashton, and more. For more info: www.prideri.com. Options | February 2015

Options Release Party March 1 & 29

Fri. 13 Gallery Q opening reception, 7pm. The Pride Center, 1005 Main Street #1105 in Pawtucket’s Hope Artiste Village. Pride’s art show featuring works from local LGBTQ artists. Runs through Feb. 21.Viewing times TBA. www.prideri.com. Fri. 13 Freedom Project. 9 Duncan Avenue, Providence. Freedom Project is a live performance interweaving personal stories with facts, images, scenes, choreography, and multimedia projection to examine issues related to mass incarceration in America. For more information, contact Robyn Duffy, 831-9479 or info@everettri.org. Wed. 18 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence. Reading: Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@gmail.com. Thu. 19 Drag Bingo, 6-9pm. Theme: A Lil’ Bit Country, A Lil’ Bit Rock N Roll. Riviera Bingo Palace, 1612 Elmwood Avenue, Cranston. $20 gets you in all games with over $2000 in cash and prizes awarded monthly. Hosted by Kitty Litter and Haley Star. All funds raised benefit AIDS Care Ocean State and AIDS Project RI.

RI Pride Goddess Show March 8

Sun. 29 Options Magazine Release Party, 3-6pm.The Stable, 125 Washington Street, Providence. Join Options for the release of the April issue.Volunteers needed for distribution. www.optionsri.org.

Regularly Scheduled Support Groups:

ACOS (youth): Tue. 4pm, (gay males): Wed. 1:30pm Alcoholics Anonymous (LGBT Group): Tue. 7pm COLAGE (children of LGBTs): 3rd Sat. 10:30am PFLAG (parents, friends, allies): 1st Wed. 6:45pm TGI Network (trans*): 1st & 3rd Tue. & Sat. 7pm TransFamily New England: 2nd Mon. 6:30pm

YPI (youth): Way Out Thu. 4pm/Gender Spectrum Tue. 4pm See Resources on page 31 for more info.

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Thu. 19 Gallery Night. Every third Thursday of the month from March to November, galleries across Providence open their doors.This free event celebrates art ranging from contemporary multi-media installations to one-of-a-kind functional artworks. For more info, www.gallerynight.info. Wed. 25 Rhode Island Pride Open House, 7pm. 1005 Main Street #1105 in Pawtucket’s Hope Artiste Village. Social gathering and discussion of community events and opportunities for involvement. All are welcome. For more info, www.prideri.com or 467-2130.

Options | February 2015

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News Briefs by Adam Brooks

RI Woman Named Savvy Sister of 2015

New Website Offers Resources to Prevent and Treat HIV and STDs

The Miriam Hospital STD Clinic, the Public Health Institute, and the RI Department of Health have sponsored a new website – doitright.org – created to help address the increase in HIV diagnoses and other STDs in Rhode Island.The site provides visitors with useful information to protect them from sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis, which saw an increase of over 50% of new diagnoses in 2014, particularly among gay men. The site addresses a wide range of topics including using condoms, testing for HIV and STDs, prevention strategies like PrEP, and treatment. Visitors to the site are also connected with the Miriam Hospital STD Clinic, which performs free HIV and STD testing Wednesday—Friday from 12:30-3:30pm on a walk-in basis at 1125 North Main Street in Providence. Testing is free, confidential and anonymous in order to ensure the health and well-being of the LGBT community.

Christina Rondeau, local LGBT fitness instructor, mother of two, and owner of fitness club RKBLive, was named the 2015 Savvy Sister of the Year on the feminist blog MySavvySisters.com. After being bullied throughout high school, Rondeau chose to start a business that would empower women to take a stand against bullying, abuse, and low self-esteem. She now makes it her goal to educate women in self-defense and strength training, among other things. “Even though most come to me for a fitness workout, what they are learning is real self defense, real kickboxing, and boxing. I throw in a ton of reality drills in their workouts,” Christina explains. “I see them come from abused relationships [with] no self esteem and turn into strong, powerful women [who] accept change and make it happen – all from taking classes and finding the power within their own bodies and minds.”

Transgender Teen’s Suicide Gains International Attention

Leelah Alcorn, a transgender teenager from Ohio, committed suicide on December 28 at the age of 17. Raised in a Christian household, Leelah’s gender identity was never accepted by her parents. When Leelah revealed her attraction to men, her parents removed her from school and revoked her social media privileges. Her parents denied her request to undergo transition therapy and instead chose to enroll Leelah in Christian conversion therapy. The conversion therapy, paired with her parents’ lack of acceptance, caused Leelah to become depressed and lonely. She committed suicide by walking into oncoming traffic on Interstate 71, after writing a heartfelt note on her Tumblr blog. In her suicide note, Leelah advocated for change and an end to discrimination and abuse of transgender people, as well as an end to conversion therapy. Thousands of people held vigils for Leelah and many transgender celebrities spoke out against transgender misgendering and conversion therapy. Most recently, Jill Soloway, writer of the television series Transparent, dedicated the Golden Globe for Best Television Series to Alcorn. A change.org petition was started to ensure that Leelah’s chosen name be included on her gravestone and at press time had already received over 80,000 signatures.

Huffington Post Names RI Pride in Top 15 Must-dos of 2015 Our local Pride organization gained national attention last month when the Huffington Post ranked Rhode Island PrideFest at number eight in their “Top 15 LGBT Must-Dos in 2015.” Rhode Island joins the likes of other major LGBT destinations such as Texas, New York City, and Provincetown on the wide-ranging list of exciting things to do in the New Year. June 20th is already on the Post’s social calendar as being one of the year’s “bigger Prides.” With every gay nightclub from Ego to Dark Lady throwing over-the-top block parties, it’s no wonder our little state received the designation. The LGBT travel blog fagabond.com describes Providence nightlife as “young and stylish but not overly pretentious.”

Options | February 2015

Saks Fifth Avenue CEO Discriminates Against Trans* Community

In an interview with the New York Times, Gerald L. Storch, CEO of Saks Fifth Avenue’s parent company Hudson Bay, declined to retract his statement against former transgender employee Leyth Jamal, who has filed an employment discrimination lawsuit against Saks. In a motion to dismiss the lawsuit, Saks issued a statement that “transexuals are not a protected class,” implying that Jamal is not protected under the law. “Mr. Storch’s abhorrent decision not to renounce that position is not only morally wrong, but wrong on the law,” said Sarah Warbelow, the Human Rights Campaign’s Legal Director. “For more than two years, the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has considered discrimination based on gender identity actionable. This latest development further undermines Saks’ credibility and standing with the LGBT community – indeed, its standing with any consumer committed to equality.” In a follow-up statement, Saks representatives stressed that they believe “all persons are protected against sex discrimination” but neglected to issue an apology.

Supreme Court Agrees to Take on Same-Sex Marriage Issue

On January 16, the United States Supreme Court said it will rule on whether or not same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry, and if individual states can be allowed to ban gay marriage. The nine justices are expected to hear oral arguments in April and deliver a ruling by June when the 2016 presidential race will be well underway. The ruling will force the debate into full view during what’s expected to be a heated and unpredictable Republican primary. In October, the court refused to hear several gay marriage cases. This time is different because lower federal courts across the country are now divided on the constitutionality of same-sex marriage bans. The national trend had been for courts to overturn marriage bans, though they have been upheld in Louisiana, Ohio, Tennessee, Kentucky, and Michigan. Alabama recently became the 37th state in the country to allow same-sex marriage. “We live in a democracy, and regardless of our disagreements, we have to respect the rule of law,” said former Florida Governor Jeb Bush in a recent statement. Bush claims he wants “respect for the good people on all sides of the gay and lesbian marriage issue.”

Lifetime Gay Blood Ban Ends

President Calls for Transgender Acceptance

In his State of the Union address last month, Barack Obama became the first president to use the word transgender in an address to the nation. Obama called for the condemnation of the persecution of oppressed minorities and members of the LGBT community and was praised by many of the community’s advocates for bringing to light groups of people that, up until a few decades ago, some doctors wouldn’t have recognized. “The President’s acknowledgment helps shatter the cloak of invisibility that has plagued trans people and forced many to suffer in silence,” said MSNBC host and activist Janet Mock. “By speaking our community’s name, the President pushes us all to recognize the existence and validity of trans people as Americans worthy of protection and our nation’s resources.”

Options | February 2015

by Bradford Greer

The Food and Drug Administration announced in December that they were lifting the lifetime ban on gay and bisexual men donating blood that has been in place since 1983. There is a condition. Men cannot have had sex with other men for at least one year before donating. Despite any scientific evidence to support this stipulation, the FDA remains convinced that donations from gay and bisexual men remain a high risk for contaminating the national blood supply. The restrictions were originally put into place during the early years of the AIDS epidemic, when little was known about the blood virus and how it was spread. This latest shift puts the US in line with other European countries, including Britain, which has had a one-year caveat since 2011. “A lot has changed since 1983,” Sean Cahill, director of health policy research at the Fenway Institute, a research and advocacy center in Boston, told The New York Times. He says the shift is “an important incremental step toward a better policy. That’s how policies often change — incrementally.”

Introducing Options’ Advice Column:

Ask Paula by Paula Smith

Hello, LGBTQ community! Let me introduce myself. My name is Paula Smith, and I’m grateful to Options for the oppor tunity to share my experience, wisdom, exper tise, and advice with you on a variety of impor tant issues related to LGBTQ life including: culture, spirituality, sexuality, parenting, abuse, 12-step recover y, marriage, and relationships. So I personally invite you to write to me at askpaula@optionsri.org with your questions, some of which I will answer in next month’s column. Advice-seekers will remain anonymous. I am in my element. Those who know me know that I’ve been agitating sensibilities and relentlessly uncovering layers of my true identity since I was 14 in order to find real love as a same-gender-loving black woman. Growing up in the segregated South in the early 1970s, I was told that loving another woman “like that” was a sin before God. But the first time I kissed a girl at age 14, my head, hear t, and genitals rejoiced. It was pure, natural, and without a doubt a gift from the Divine. My perspective about queer love has matured over time in its depth and breadth. Even in the midst of tragedy and challenges, I embrace “Loving Out Loud,” because at its core, queer love is an emotional, psychological, and spiritual experience. It’s a process – not a destination. Daring to speak love can easily get lost between the “where were you last night” and “it’s your turn to feed the baby,” of ordinar y daily life. Striving to enact the deep and rich magnitude of Loving Out Loud day in and day out thus necessitates a mature and generous perspective. We exist on the material, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual planes, and so do our relationships. So to keep intimacy and love alive in LGBTQ relationships, we must deal with the ways we trigger each other’s wounds from the past. In this way, we can raise the consciousness of our love to reflect our highest and wor thiest selves.

It’s true that sustaining a loving relationship that dares to speak its name is no small task. I don’t know about you, but I make mistakes. I get impatient, forget to be grateful for another’s presence, and get hung up on the domestic details: “She said she was going to cook tonight.” “I am too tired to connect physically.” The list goes on ad infinitum. Therefore, I am always finding ways to elevate my consciousness and get off the “petty plane” that relationships can get stuck on, so that I can be a better wife, friend, par tner, family member, and colleague. And really, what’s more impor tant than that? In the end, nothing will matter as much as the way we have loved one another. This Valentine’s Day, may LGBTQ love flow out loud into the world in ever-expanding rainbow circles. q Paula M. Smith, M.Div., MFT, is a Har vard graduate; certified IMAGO therapist; marriage, family, and child therapist; ordained interfaith chaplain; former adjunct faculty member at Har vard Divinity School; and published writer. Paula lives in Providence with her wife Yael. She has an office-based and online therapy and coaching practice where she works with individuals and couples locally and internationally. Write to Paula with your questions at askpaula@optionsri.org.

Options | February 2015

Reflecting on a Successful Trans*gender Medicine Conference by Janelle Heideman

issues,” she pointed out. Commenting on the day’s sessions, Watts stated, “It is clear from the sentiment in the room that the need for inclusive health care options that cover transition-related surgical care is a community priority.” In the “Ask a Doc” segment, Tim Cavanaugh, M.D., Ruben Hopwood, Ph.D. from Fenway Health in Boston, and local doctor Michelle Forcier, M.D. answered a wide range of questions related to insurance and general health issues. Eliza Sher, LICSW discussed the vital topic of therapy in her “Your Rights In Therapy” session. She discussed how to know if there is a need for therapy, the difference between coordination of care and gatekeeping, and how to know when a therapist isn’t right for you. Marcy Felberman, ND, discussed natural ways to deal with stress, including healthy eating and sleeping habits. On January 10, medical professionals from all over Rhode Island gathered for the first time in Brown University’s Alpert Medical School building to learn about important concepts related to caring for transgender patients. At the same time, trans* people and allies came from all over the area for the part of the conference intended for the trans* community. In the professional track, health care professionals and allied health professionals learned the history of transgender care and barriers to care, professional guidelines for care, risks and benefits of various treatments, differences and similarities in care needs among various trans* individuals, long-term preventive needs, sexual health needs, and unique mental health needs of trans* individuals. To complement the track for medical professionals, TGI Network presented the Trans*gender Medicine Conference Community Track to address health-related issues of trans* individuals in Rhode Island. Over 70 members of the trans* community and allies attended the community track, which addressed such issues as navigating the healthcare system, legal rights concerning health care, choosing and working with a therapist, and managing stress. Jaye Watts of TGI Network said, “This event was a big deal. It started out as a small local event and grew to bring in providers from all over the country!” The first two community track sessions of the day involved issues related to current systems and laws, and addressed what improvements have been achieved and what still needs to be done. In a presentation one attendee characterized as “energetic,” Kira Manser, LCSW, discussed the ins and outs of the health care system, including current barriers and strategies for dealing with them. Jennifer Levi, Esq. of GLAD discussed legal advocacy around transgender health care. She demonstrated how a lot of progress had been made such as repeals of exclusions for trans*-related care in some states and trans* inclusion in Medicare, but said there’s so much more to tackle. Although recognizing all that’s left to fight for was discouraging and frustrating for many, community member Dominique Pistone thought the discussion was necessary. “At least we are addressing the

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The part of the day most enjoyed by many occurred after the conference when participants from both tracks headed down the street to The Village for drinks and networking. Here, those from the provider track had the chance to meet and talk with those from the community track. Providers and community members casually discussed their questions and concerns. The convivial atmosphere provided the opportunity for all participants to meet so many others like them, whether providers, members of the trans* community, or both. Watts summed up the sentiments of many in attendance: “It was incredible to see all of the different people who came out for this event. We have so much more work to do but this is a great start.” q TGI Network of Rhode Island is the only statewide organization providing support, advocacy and education for the transgender, gendervariant, and intersex community (aka trans* community). Incorporated in 2011, our mission is to be a resource for TGI people navigating their lives and the medical and legal systems; to serve as a resource for professionals working with TGI people; and to serve as a liaison between the TGI and LGB communities and the community at large. Visit us at www.tginetwork. org. Nominated Best Erotic Boutique in U.S., AVN Awards 2012

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“On the Shoulders of Giants”

An Interview with Representative Edith Ajello

by Jen Stevens Options: You’ve been representing voters on the East Side of Providence since 1993. What motivated you to campaign for State Representative? Edie: Civil rights and civil liberties have always been on my radar. The seat was open, as Rep. Ray Rickman was running for Secretary of State. I thought I would work on state aid to education and help for Providence Public Schools [because of my many] years of involvement with Lippitt Hill Tutorial, which evolved into what is now Inspiring Minds. O: How do you connect with voters to best represent them at the State House? E: Neighbors – constituents – discuss issues with me when I’m walking my dog, at the grocery, even at my day job at Rustigian Rugs. My home phone number is listed and folks call to voice their concerns. Others contact me through email (at repajello@rilin.state.ri.us) and snail mail still occasionally. O: You cosponsored same-sex marriage legislation at every opportunity and celebrated the victory last year. What makes issues affecting the gay community important to you? E: In 1992, when I first thought of running, I met Wendy Becker and Marti Rosenberg who were both mentioned to me as possible candidates. Neither wanted to run, but Wendy asked me to take on repeal of Rhode Island’s archaic sodomy law. The law made even consensual sex in anything other than the missionary position between a male and a female a felony punishable by seven to 21 years in prison. Wendy and her partner, Mary Norton, wanted to adopt children and feared that this law could be used to find them unfit parents. I believe they’d heard of this problem with adoption in Virginia. I’ve learned a lot and been inspired working with the gay community. It is concern for folks who just want to live their lives and their dreams that has

motivated me. O: You won the sodomy repeal in 1998. While spearheading that effort, who were your staunchest opponents and what was their message? E: The staunchest opposition to sodomy repeal came from folks who quoted religious texts. Ironically some of their hate-filled statements brought support to our side. My son Aaron asked me why I wanted to do this. He gained a greater understanding on all of our issues after he heard just one ugly voice mail message regarding sodomy repeal. I heard that the Attorney General’s office opposed repeal because the law was useful in gaining confession for a lesser sexual assault charge when force could not be proved as an element in the case. Remember: consent was not a defense. A married couple in the privacy of their bedroom could have been convicted! A few years in, I remembered the movie Coming Home. John Voight played a paralyzed Vietnam War veteran. There was a moving scene of sodomy between Voight and Jane Fonda. With that in mind we reached out to advocates for the disabled. Bob Cooper, who still represents the Governor’s Commission on Disabilities, was a great ally. The night we passed repeal, my daughter Linell and Aaron were in town and welcomed me home with a bottle of champagne. O: In February 2006, M. Charles Bakst reported in the ProJo that there were enough votes in House Judiciary (including yours) to win a committee vote on marriage equality. Although full passage of the bill was very unlikely at the time, advocates wanted the committee vote in order to send the marriage bill to the House floor for a debate. Do you know why the House Judiciary Chairman, who was also a marriage equality cosponsor, didn’t call the committee vote in spite of its likely passage, and why it took until your chairmanship in 2013 for that historic first Rhode Island vote on marriage to happen?”

E: When I was working on sodomy repeal I did not want a vote in committee or on the floor until I was sure I had enough votes for passage. Particularly on controversial issues it is harder to change someone’s mind once they’ve been counted on one side or the other by their vote or response to an issue questionnaire. If the bill went to the floor and lost I think the way to passage would have been harder. It is pure coincidence that I was chair of the Judiciary Committee when the issue became ripe. O: In addition to being a champion for gay rights, you’ve been a leader on women’s rights, voter rights, homeless rights, and rights of privacy. What early influences shaped your moral foundation? K: I remember complaining to my mother that something in the news did not seem fair. Her response was, “I never promised you fair.” Her positive message was that I needed to work to change what did not seem fair, or not talk about it. She meant, I think, for me to examine how much I cared about the unfairness or injustice. O: Would you describe the moment of your greatest legislative victory? E: The thrill of seeing Marriage Equality become law in Rhode Island—sharing that moment with so many who worked so well together—I get a chill again every time I think of it or see a photo. O: Has there been, or will there be, any legislation submitted this year that will specifically affect the LGBTQ community? E: I am not aware of any legislation planned for this year that would specifically affect the LGBTQ community. O: Have you felt supported by the gay community in your electoral campaigns? E: The unwavering support of the LGBTQ community has surprised and humbled me immeasurably. I can still picture Kelly Smith, Tina Wood, and Kate Monteiro around my

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dining table stuffing envelopes for my 1998 primary – the toughest election I’ve had. You know, I feel supported by the gay community in my life, not just electorally. I think that says something profound about this community.

On the Shoulders of Giants is an ongoing series showcasing those who have dedicated decades to furthering LGBTQ equality in RI and have made major contributions to our community’s shared history and victories. This is the eleventh interview in the series.

O: How did you react to the results of state and local races this past election cycle? E: In the big picture, I was generally pleased. It was especially good to see Seth Magaziner, an ally for Marriage Equality, win. I am missing my good colleagues Maria Cimini, Donna Walsh, and Larry Valencia (all strong supporters of LGBTQ efforts) in the House. O: What would surprise an outsider most about the inner workings of the Rhode Island General Assembly? E: The level of collegiality among members of the House is really quite remarkable and important to the workings of the body. Members may disagree fundamentally on a controversial issue that is very important to each of them. We state our positions strongly without allowing the argument of the moment to become personal. That’s important because today’s opponent may be tomorrow’s ally on another issue. While Rep. Arthur Corvese and I are polar opposites on LGBTQ and reproductive freedom issues, I’ve found myself seeking his advice and helping advance at least one of his bills. We care about each other and our families.

Rep. Ajello votes in RI House of Representatives

O: Who have been your favorite colleagues in the Assembly over the years and why? E: From the September Primary Election in 1992, when she lifted me out of my shoes and spun me around in front of the Wayland Manor after we had both won our elections, former Senator Rhoda Perry has been a wonderful friend who can lift my spirits and thoughts and help me chart paths. Maria Cimini, who sat next to me for four years, is wise, smart, thoughtful, funny, and a great cook. She has much to offer as a leader. I will be forever grateful to Speaker Gordon Fox for offering me one of the greatest honors and challenges of my life: the position of chair of the House Judiciary Committee. In that position I was privileged to sign both the House and Senate Marriage Equality bills, reporting the legislation to the House floor with a recommendation for passage. There have been too many others to continue. O: Do you know when you’d like to retire from government? E: Linell and Aaron have asked that question after the last couple of elections. I continue to care, to enjoy the work, and now I have two decades plus of experience to offer. (Edie says this with a smile.) q

Senator Rhoda Perry, Governor Chaffee, Ajello Options | February 2015

Marti Rosenberg, Kate Monteiro, Ajello celebrate marriage bill signing

House Judiciary votes in favor of marriage. Left to right: C. Kelly Smith, Laura Pisaturo, Seth Magaziner, Tony Caparco, Kate Brock, Rep. Ferri, Jen Stevens, Rep. Handy, Ajello, Dawn Euer, Kate Monteiro

LGBTQ

STRUGGLES by Bradford Greer

URI

Who is Andrew Winters? Andrew Winters is the courageous, openly gay man who was hired by the University of Rhode Island (URI) as Assistant Director for Residencies Education. It was 1995 – three years before the sodomy laws that made gay sex illegal in Rhode Island were rescinded. Having been out of the closet and working on LGBTQ issues since he got his degree at Westchester University in Pennsylvania, Winters was no shrinking violet. He lived the change he wanted to see. For six years he proved himself attentive and adept at unear thing and addressing the concerns of the marginalized students on campus. He had a reputation for being intelligent, ar ticulate, diplomatic, and caring. He began advocating for an LGBT Center on campus to provide a safe environment, facilitate programs for LGBT study, and to raise awareness of the challenges LGBT students faced. The challenges were formidable. In 1999, the Rainbow House was vandalized with graffiti by a fraternity exclaiming, “Fuck URI! No fags!” According to Winters, incidences like this had been habitual with no appreciable action from the administration. Winters was then promoted to Assistant to the Vice President of Student Affairs for LGBTQ Programs and Ser vices by then President Carothers, as the Princeton Review ranked URI one of the 20 least LGBTQ-friendly campuses in the countr y for two years in a row. “Faggot!” was hollered at Andrew from a passing car on his way into his first meeting. A gay student with his arm in a sling on his way to a planning committee meeting was assaulted in a parking lot, knocked to the ground, and was threatened with “We don’t like fags. You better stop what you’re doing.” In 2001 Winters succeeded in establishing URI’s LGBT Center – the first of its kind on a college campus in Rhode Island. He went on to organize yearly symposiums on LGBTQ histor y and contemporar y issues. The students valued the resource and considered Winters extraordinarily open, welcoming, and a good mentor.

Homophobia Persists The abuse continued on throughout the decade. Used condoms were thrown at a student’s door. Tires were slashed. Another student said he was touched inappropriately and threatened by straight guys. One student recalled that he and a friend were walking through campus and had rocks thrown

Andrew Winters at them. Others giggled at LGBT students and called them fags when they went by. It became routine. After a rash of hateful incidents during one spring semester, the U.S. Depar tment of Justice came to campus to investigate. According to one freshman, the University would clean up the graffiti, maybe give someone a slap on the wrist, but no one ever got in trouble for it. It had been a routine experience on campus for years despite Andrew Winter’s vociferous effor ts to get the administration, now led by President David Dooley, to inter vene. A problem-solving meeting was eventually organized in August 2010 with 30 or so people including students and community leaders at President Dooley’s house. One community leader in attendance wrote: “It is obvious from the personal accounts of the students, the emails shared by Andrew Winters, and the appalling YouTube video, that URI currently allows a culture of abuse, discrimination, and hostility toward the LGBT population, which includes both LBGT students and staff.” More specifics of the problems were ar ticulated and when President Dooley was asked to use his position to rectify the situation immediately, he assured that something would be done. But no relief came.

Tension Mounts A month later, GLAD Senior Staff Attorney Karen Loewy wrote to President Dooley: “This pattern of harassment and URI’s failure to respond to that harassment seemingly runs afoul of several legal protections afforded to these students, staff and faculty…Moreover, this pattern and practice is also entirely inconsistent with the Student Rights Policy of the Board of Governors for Higher Education.”

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Don Smith and Andrew Winters

In October that year, Andrew helped the students organize a sit-in of approximately 100 students inside the university librar y for eight days. Four teen hundred students signed their petition demanding: • The creation of a new LGBTQ center where programs, events, and meetings can be held; • Resources are made available to students regarding repor ting and actions to be taken after hate crimes; • Mandator y training for RAs and faculty on LGBTQ issues; • LGBTQ staff receive compensation equal to the RAs; • A substantial budgetar y increase for LGBTQ programs and the addition of one paid staff member to assist the center director ; and • Andrew Winters be reinstated to his original super visor y position directly under the VP of Student affairs, and weekly meetings be held between Winters and President Dooley to keep him up to date on the progress of issues and to ensure consistent and honest repor ting on LGBTQ issues. In March of 2011, seven students spoke out in a video made by the Chronicle for Higher Education (a Washington, D.C. source of information for academics and universities). They spoke of being taunted with epitaphs, graffiti, and death threats. They complained that while the only place they felt safe, welcome, and affirmed was the LGBT Center, it was two dormitor y rooms with the connecting wall knocked down and was located within residential housing. Not too many people had access to it or could even fit. One freshman said she learned so much at the LGBT Center about a community she was par t of but didn’t know anything about. At this time, Katherine Friedman, who the administration had hired as the Interim Vice President for Community, Equity and Diversity and placed authoritatively

over Winters, ordered him to immediately evict the repor ter making the video. Any access to students was denied and his segment of the inter view was cancelled. Winters, disappointed by the administration’s inaction, now felt they wanted to stop him from making any more public fuss about the homophobic environment on campus. Friedman issued a scathing letter of reprimand accusing Winters of misrepresenting student wishes, blocking forward progress, and being “difficult to work with.” It fur ther alleges the LGBTQ Community and staff has “Without exception” expressed “No confidence” in Andrew Winters. In a letter to President Dooley refuting the accusations, numerous professors stated: “The person described in Ms. Friedman’s letter of reprimand to Andrew Winters bears no resemblance to the person we know as a good and decent man.” It went on to say: “We are stunned by the extremeness of this list of complaints and the absence of suppor t and documentation. In its vituperative tone, its hyperbole, and its indifference to factual validation, this letter indicates an acute breakdown in communication and an ominous prelude of what is to come.”And then it came. Despite his 17-year record which sparkled with congratulations, commendations, and a cer tificate of good ser vice and admirable citizenship, Friedman then made it clear that if Winters did not voluntarily sign a letter of resignation, his retirement could become effective immediately without severance, and without so much as a reference. Winters was shocked. He went home to his husband Don Smith, a retired educator, who was equally shocked. They made inquiries and debated their options. Winters tried to negotiate with URI’s Human Resources Depar tment and appealed to President Dooley to no avail. Winters’ and Smith’s health

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consequently collapsed from the stress. Andrew was diagnosed with PTSD and went out of work on stress leave. His husband Don was diagnosed with high blood pressure. After consulting his lawyer who said he would likely be fired and left with nothing, Andrew saw no other way to protect himself and Don, and succumbed to the pressure. He signed the separation document, but would later regret this. It thwar ted his effor ts to contest the coerced dismissal. Many students, professors, and colleagues demanded answers, but despite the storm of protests President Dooley would not relent or comment. Winters appealed to the Board of Governors of Higher Education (now the Board of Education), GLAD, the ACLU, Senators Reed and Whitehouse, and Congressmen Cicilline and Langevin regarding his unfair treatment. He was hoping at least for problem-solving meetings to avoid the possibility of this sor t of thing happening to anyone else. The Hummel repor t did a two-par t investigative repor t. State Representative Spencer Dickenson introduced a House Resolution cosponsored by Frank Ferri to create a special legislative commission to investigate issues of fairness in the hiring and retention of cer tain faculty members

and employees of URI. President Dooley has maintained he is not at liber ty to discuss Winters’ depar ture from the university. There would be no problemsolving meetings. In a letter to the Rhode Island Future blog, URI physics professor Peter Nightingale pointed out: “The trouble with this administrative response was

Andrew Winters

that it applies to any conceivable form of arbitrar y and capricious conduct of the administration directed at anyone. By definition, any such abuse of power by administrators could be construed

as ‘a confidential personnel matter’ and, following this reasoning, would therefore be beyond scrutiny, discussion, and accountability.” In August of 2011, URI returned at number 14 to Princeton’s list of 20 least LGBTQ-friendly college campuses, where it remained until as recently as 2013. Andrew Winters may have been brushed aside but the seeds he planted had begun to grow.

URI’s Image Evolves In the fall of 2014, Campus Pride, a national non-profit, gave URI a fivestar rating and named it one of the top 50 LGBTQ-friendly universities in the countr y. URI’s stand-alone LGBTQ Center is expected to open this year, essentially including a budget, staff, and programs, which Andrew lobbied so diligently for, and the students sat in for in 2010. Heads are held a little higher administratively and LGBTQ students may be more out of the closet and thriving, no doubt due largely to the effor ts of LGBTQ Center director Annie Russell and the many who worked to suppor t her endeavors. The Princeton Review also rates colleges according to academics and quality of campus life and now includes URI in the top 379 colleges, although its

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rating for quality of campus life is 69. It comes in at #9 under the categor y of “Administrators get low marks” and #18 at “Professors get low marks.” The Review shows URI as repor ting zero instances of intimidation and harassment in years 2011 and 2012, and records one instance of racial harassment in 2013 while it was listed on the list of the 20 least friendly campuses for LGBTQ students. Sam Simas, a URI student from 2010-2014, had this to say: “When I began working at the Center after Andrew’s resignation, our focus was to open the Center to the community — which was exceedingly difficult for a number of reasons, but especially because of the location of the center. We were sequestered in the ground floor of a dormitor y. Annie Russell and Annie Kosar — the Annie’s, as they are affectionately called by those who know them — have worked with the administration to secure a beautiful new location at the top of campus, in plain view, where the university has funded the construction of a new LGBTQ center. The idea is that having a space open to all members of the URI community will increase LGBTQ visibility and ameliorate the campus climate. I think URI is taking the necessar y steps to make the campus a healthier place for its LGBTQ students, and with the help of the LGBTQ Center they’ll get there. But they’ve got a long way to go.”

Then there’s this In April of 2014 NBC 10 launched an investigation of bullying and abuse by URI softball coach Erin Layton, which allegedly resulted in eating disorders, mental health difficulties requiring medication, and forfeiting of scholarships. President Dooley declined to discuss this because it was a personnel matter and thus was confidential. URI’s attorneys met NBC’s request for

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documentation under the Freedom of Information act with two requests for extensions; finally they received three resignation letters with a disclaimer that the rest of the files were personnel files and thus were confidential. Their requests for redacted documents or even a list of documents were also denied. Their requests to inter view students, President Dooley, and faculty were denied.

In Conclusion Bullying is a powerful force that undermines your selfconfidence and minimizes your self-wor th. It would appear that for over a decade, URI has maintained a campus climate of bullying, intimidation, and harassment for many of their students and at least one staff member. An injustice was done to a man who enjoyed the confidence, loyalty, and respect of the students whose educational path he struggled to light and pave with dignity and affirmation. For 17 years he worked for the university to illuminate the LGBTQ struggle. He sought to explore LGBTQ contributions to society and to help students integrate, blossom and grow into their future. But Winters became the victim of the ver y system he spent his life working to improve. Andrew Winters name has been largely erased from that legacy of what has now become arguably one of the best college campuses for LGBTQ students. URI may no longer be one of the 20 worst college campuses in the countr y for LGBTQ students but the new students will never know upon whose shoulders they stand. q

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On the Town 20

Options | February 2015

by Kelly Scafariello

NCAA Champions Respect

for Student-Athletes and Staff T oday in intercollegiate athletics, there is growing sensitivity toward the ever-increasing diversity of backgrounds and beliefs among studentathletes. Young men and women representing institutions through their college athletic teams are becoming more vocal about who they are and what they believe in and are seeking the appropriate resources and suppor t on campuses. Many colleges and universities in the countr y are members of the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA). According to the NCAA website, it is “a membershipdriven organization dedicated to safeguarding the well-being of studentathletes and equipping them with the skills to succeed on the playing field, in the classroom, and throughout life.” Rules are administered through the NCAA national office (located in Indianapolis) and administrators on each campus “to help more than 460,000 student-athletes develop their

leadership, confidence, and teamwork through college spor ts.”

Naturally, deciding best practices on how to be inclusive of LGBTQ students and faculty has become a hot topic within college athletics. The NCAA is working to put core values of diversity, inclusion, and gender equity at the forefront of education intended for academic institutions. At an inclusion forum in May 2013, former NCAA Director of Gender Inclusion, now Chief Diversity Officer at the University of Central Florida, Karen Morrison acknowledged a significant shift in the handling of LGBTQ issues, saying “I think the national office has come a long way. I don’t think there was action before. Athletics has trailed our campus colleagues. But I think we are coming along fast. We’re absolutely helped by the fact that our student-athletes are so much fur ther along than our leadership on this.”

The truth of Morrison’s statement is evident. More and more college athletes are living openly and raising awareness among their teammates, coaches, and even national media. Former University of Missouri All-American football student-athlete Michael Sam was out to his college teammates before publically coming out in an inter view with ESPN. Sam said, “At the Senior Bowl I didn’t realize how many people actually knew, and I was afraid that someone would tell or leak something out about me or tell my stor y. I just wanted to control the situation and tell my stor y.” His teammates and coaches overwhelmingly suppor ted Sam. Even Missouri Governor Jay Nixon tweeted, “Standing strong with #Mizzou’s Michael Sam.” Similarly, University of Massachusetts basketball star ting guard Derrick Gordon made national headlines for publicly coming out as gay. Speaking with USA Today Sports, Gordon said,

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“I didn’t feel like hiding it anymore. It was killing me, eating me alive. No one should have to go through that. I want to show you can be an athlete and be gay.” His head coach Derek Kellogg shared with USA Today Sports, “He’s a par t of our family no matter what. I’m proud of him for coming out. I think it’s really courageous what he’s doing…I think this kind of thing can unite us more than anything. And now it’s out in the open. He wanted to be himself. We suppor t him 100%.” Kye Allums, a former women’s basketball player at George Washington University identifies as a transgender male. Allums told USA Today, “Yes, I am a male on a female team. And I want to be clear about this. I am a transgender male, which means feelings-wise, how it feels inside, I feel as if I should have been born with male par ts.” Like Sam and Gordon, the college community was ver y suppor tive of Allums’ decision to live openly. While these three athletes had mostly positive coming out experiences, many LGBTQ student-athletes continue to struggle. The culture within team locker rooms can be tough. In an inter view with Diversity Inc., former NBA player John Amaechi said, “The

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real problem is with NCAA spor ts. They maintain separate behaviors for spor ts that we would never deem acceptable anywhere else … College spor ts are a space where homophobic slurs, physical and psychological abuse, are not only acceptable but considered normal.” Karen Morrison understands that the world of athletics needs to be more inclusive. In an inter view with Diversity Inc., Morrison said, “We’re behind in how we are treating LGBTQ students.” This hasn’t deterred the NCAA from doing their par t. While they cannot enforce how campuses embrace diversity, they are working hard to help college campuses better educate the staff and other studentathletes on-campus.

With the help of Morrison, the NCAA has put together a comprehensive resource guide called Champions of Respect – Inclusion of LGBTQ Student-Athletes and Staff in NCAA Programs. Commissioned in 2012, the 82-page guide was distributed to ever y member institution but, according to the NCAA, following the guidelines is voluntar y. Morrison stated, “We don’t dictate to our schools who they hire and what they do.”

Champions of Respect aims to help college administrators make their athletics depar tments inclusive and respectful. Topics covered include: Why it’s impor tant to address LGBTQ issues, key misunderstandings in addressing LGBTQ issues, best practices for creating inclusivity, the role of straight allies in making athletics inclusive and respectful for all sexual orientations and gender identities/expressions, how LGBTQ issues are manifested in women’s and men’s athletics, how to avoid a culture of anti-LGBTQ language, and identifying local and legal resources. While the resource guide isn’t an instant cure-all for bigotr y, the NCAA has created a star ting point to help institutions. To learn more about Champions of Respect, please go to www.ncaapublications.com/ productdownloads/CRLGBTQ.pdf. Find information specific to transgender student-athletes at www.ncaa.org/ sites/default/files/Transgender_ Handbook_2011_Final.pdf. q

ACOS Turns Houses Into Homes by Christopher Dalpe

Providing stable and affordable housing is fundamental for people with HIV/AIDS to receive life-saving medical support services and decrease the likelihood of exposing others to infection. AIDS Care Ocean State (ACOS) continues to be the largest provider of subsidized housing for persons living with HIV/AIDS in the state of Rhode Island. We are proud to announce that in January 2015 the agency opened the doors to the East Long Pond Apartments in Providence – ten individual and family units and the newest addition to our Housing Program. The two properties that comprise East Long Pond Apartments have undergone major rehabilitation over the past year and have been completely restored while maintaining their rich historical integrity. And in late January, clients of ACOS moved in and the properties became a home. The East Long Pond Apartments is a HUD Section 811 supportive housing for low-income persons with disabilities. Nearly two million dollars have been invested into the planning, rehabilitation, and construction of the buildings, which includes the $225,000 received from The State of Rhode Island Housing Home fund and $1.7 million from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. Its opening is one of the finishing touches to the rehabilitation and revitalization of the Parkis-Comstock Historical District. Research from the National AIDS Housing Coalition continues to emphasize the importance of housing support for those living with HIV/AIDS. Stable environments and improvements to an individual’s housing situation are directly related to improved access to health care, higher levels of antiretroviral therapy adherence, and lowered viral load. Including the East Long Pond Apartments, ACOS has now built and developed 19 properties to serve our clients. We currently have 127 tenants residing in 48 apartments that we own and operate; federal funding sources allow us to sublease 47 apartments to assist an additional 76 clients. ACOS remains steadfast in our commitment to meeting the housing and residential needs of people living with HIV/AIDS in Rhode Island. Putting an end to poverty, stigma, housing instability, and homelessness is paramount in the fight against HIV/AIDs. To learn more about AIDS Care Ocean State’s Housing or other programs please visit aidscareos.org.q AIDS Care Ocean State provides comprehensive AIDS service, supportive housing, emergency funds, and a Speakers Bureau. Located at 18 Parkis Avenue, Providence. (401) 521-3603. Appointments: (401) 781-0665. www.aidscareoceanstate.org.

Options | February 2015

RI PR I DE

There are some great fundraising events coming up that should be on your calendars. One that all of us at Pride are most excited about is our first annual Pride Prom: Glitter in the Air! Join us at the prom on Valentine’s Day, Saturday, Februar y 14th at 7:30pm at Aurora on Westminster Street in downtown Providence. Wear your best evening wear and bring your significant other, a date, or just your smiling self. Single ladies will have the option of coming early (6pm) and par ticipating in Ms. Lesbian RI 2014’s popular speed dating series. All are welcome to run for king or queen of the Prom; just let us know at the door and then do your best to work the room for votes. We had intended for our Gallery Q Art Show to launch during the first week of Februar y, as indicated in this column last month. In order to ensure that more ar tists can par ticipate, we have decided to move the popular show to begin Friday, March 13. Mark your calendar to be sure you are in attendance at the opening reception to view the work of a growing list of RI LGBTQ ar tists. The show will be at the Pride Center at Hope Ar tiste Village and will also be open during the Saturday Winter Farmer’s Market as well as other hours during the week that follows. All ar tworks will be priced to sell, with 10% of proceeds suppor ting Rhode Island Pride. The 16th Annual Goddess Show: A Celebration of Women in the Arts will be held at Olive’s in Providence Sunday, March 8, coinciding with International Women’s Day. Performers include Heather Rose in Clover, Bettysioux Tailor, Kristen Minsky, Carrie Ashton, and Ellen Moschetto, with more to be announced. Applications are being accepted for contestants in our Triple Crown Pageant. The pre-application is available at www.prideri.com and has more information about some recent changes to the titles.

Watch our website for PrideFest 2015 vendor and parade registrations. The best way to save and help us with our planning is to take advantage of the early bird rate. Vendor spaces have been selling out quickly over the past few years and the waiting list star ts growing around May 1, so don’t delay and register as soon as you see the forms go live. PrideFest is June 20 this year. Now is the time to star t volunteering with us and join our Pride family. Come to our monthly Open House or an Events Committee meeting so you can get to know us and we can get to know you. We are especially looking for people to join our Enter tainment, Parade and Countdown to Pride Committees, but there are oppor tunities for ever y skill, talent, and desire.q

Options | February 2015

by Kurt Bagley

Rhode Island Pride is a 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to promoting the visibility, equality and diversity of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community and providing safe space to come out, express and celebrate their sexual identities and gender. For more information, email info@prideri.com or call (401) 4672130.

1stAnnual

Pride Prom . Hors d’oeuvres .. Photobooth .. Crowning Live DJ Dancing February 14 th @ 7 : 30pM Aurora 276 Westminster Street, Providence

18+ $20 advance/ $30 at the door

Purchase Tickets at: prideri.com 25

News from SAGE-RI by Cathy S. Cranston

old friends and meet new ones; and a guaranteed good time in suppor t of a good cause. The event will include a silent auction featuring work by fifteen local ar tists and your chance to bust a move on the dance floor as the DJ spins the tunes we grew up and grew old on. Tickets are $50 per person and can be purchased by contacting SAGE at 528-3259.

The 2015 White House Conference on Aging The White House has held a conference on aging each decade since the 1960s to identify and advance actions to improve the quality of life of older Americans. The 2015 conference is an oppor tunity to look ahead to the issues that will help shape the landscape for older Americans during the next decade. The common themes of this conference are: retirement security, healthy aging, long term ser vices and suppor ts, and elder justice. Each of these issues is critical to LGBT older adults. The conference is an oppor tunity for us to bring attention to the unique impact these and other issues have on our community, and to provide input and suggestions on ways to improve the quality of life for all of us as we age. Beginning last July and continuing throughout the year, listening sessions and stakeholder meetings are being held across the countr y each month to gather input: Tampa in Februar y, Phoenix in March, Seattle in April, Cleveland in May, and Boston in June. To learn more about the conference and to share your stories and suggestions, please visit www. whitehouseconferenceonaging.gov and follow this column in the coming months. Put a Little Silver in Your Rainbow On Saturday evening, April 18 at 7pm, SAGE will hold its first big, fabulous fundraiser of the year at the historic Warwick Museum of Ar t, 3259 Post Road in Warwick. It will be an evening of drinks, desser t, dancing, and ar t; a chance to catch up with

Ar tists seeking exposure of their talents and willing to contribute a piece of work to the auction should contact the SAGE office. Community Training Events As par t of Black Lavender Week at the University of RI scheduled for April, SAGE will be showing the film Gen Silent and facilitating a conversation after the movie. SAGE members will be presenting at the annual Leading Age Conference in March. The conference is primarily targeted to the staff of nursing homes, adult day care programs, and other long term care providers.q SAGE-RI (Ser vices & Advocacy for GLBT Elders) addresses issues of concern to LGBT elders and is an organization of diverse people of all ages. For information on programs or to join SAGE-RI, drop us a line at sageriinfo@gmail.com; leave us a message at (401) 528-3259; write to us at 235 Promenade St., Suite 500, Box 18, Providence, RI 02908; or find us on Facebook as SAGE-Rhode Island.

ceremony reception after party Any party

Jennifer Minuto 401 263 6171

Options | February 2015

don’t grow up invisible

Youth Pride Inc. by Jacki Carlson, college intern

Working with Youth Pride Inc. this semester has been a really fun and rewarding oppor tunity for me. It’s quite interesting to work with such a diverse crowd of youth who are so open-minded about impor tant issues. It was really cool to see the staff at YPI handle some of the hardest issues that the LGBTQ+ community faces – issues like homelessness, abuse, discovering and exploring gender and sexual identities, and even hunger and pover ty. It seemed as if ever y week the staff had a new project focused on righting some of the inequalities of representation, diversity, and civil rights somewhere in Rhode Island.

Learning what to say, how to say it, and letting youth develop their own identities for themselves – we just don’t practice that as much with youth as we should, especially with youth who are struggling with finding themselves. From what I saw this past semester, youth are looking for guidance, not rules. They need suppor t and reassurance that what they are doing is okay, and help for when they stray. They need a cheering squad, just as we all do from time to time. If I had known about YPI when I was in high school, I would have been there ever y day! q Youth Pride Inc. provides suppor t, education and advocacy for LGBTQQ young people ages 13-23. Our Drop-in Center is at 473 Westminster Street, Providence, RI 02903. Visit www.youthprideri.org, emailinfo@youthprideri.org, or call (401) 421-5626 for more info.

But we had lots of fun, too. I learned how to play video games and even some old-school board and card games like Spoons, Boggle, Rummikub, and even Gayopoly. There’s always a lot of laughter at YPI. There was definitely a learning cur ve there, though.

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Options | February 2015

I can tell you.

by Elisa Marie

I can tell you that I am a white female. I can tell you that I am a person of privilege, and moderate means. I can tell you that I have a white child and a biracial child. I can tell you that I am gay. I can tell you that my wife is a cop.

racism as a child. Of my best friend, who was black, staying with us for the weekend. Of my soccer practice, to which she tagged along. Of my deep, confusing fear that my white soccer friends wouldn’t like me anymore because I was friends with a black girl.

I can tell you that every time I start to write, I fear you will pin me racist. I can tell you that at this point in my life, the people I call friend — the short list of people I’d call if my wife were shot — they are all white. I can tell you that I actively wonder about how we can diversify our life, but worry that it’s tokenizing.

I can tell you that I know that our systems are broken.

I can tell you that when I have these conversations in my head where you ask me how many black friends I have, and I ask you how many gay friends you have, I feel like a douche. I can tell you that regardless of how evolved I ever thought I was, or the white privilege I’ve owned, I could not understand the impact of race until I began to consider it through the lens of my child. I can tell you that I have been the victim of police brutality because I’m gay. I’ve experienced police calling friends, “fucking dyke cunts,” as they dragged them down concrete steps by their hair. I can tell you that I could have chosen to see all cops through that ugly lens, but instead believe that people are inherently good, and that we must work to ensure that one bad apple does not color the bunch rotten. I can tell you that I believe we are all racist, all homophobic, all anti-Semitic, all trans-phobic. All all of it. I believe that we can work on it, we can evolve, but that we understand the ways in which we, and others, are other. I can tell you that I have a vivid memory of my own

I can tell you that I know that some cops are horrible people who do horrible things behind the shield of the badge. I can tell you that I know that some people are horrible people who bandwagon and do horrible things under the guise of protest. I can tell you that I believe that the majority of cops are good and kind and trustworthy and honorable. I can tell you that I believe that the majority of people are good and kind and trustworthy and honorable. I can tell you that I am frustrated and saddened and upset to the point of tears so often about Ferguson that I’m surprised. I can tell you that it pisses me off that people are conflating issues that are unrelated. I can tell you that a Grand Jury is not a trial and I am tired of hearing people demand to know why Darren Wilson was not cross-examined, from their self-righteous, uneducated soapbox, showing their overall lack of understanding of how the — broken or not — system actually works. I can tell you that if anyone reaches inside of my wife’s cruiser with the intent to harm, I want her to shoot them. Options | February 2015

I can tell you that if someone is advancing on her, after trying to harm her or someone else, I want her to shoot to stop. Not to injure and hope for the best. To stop. I can tell you that any injuries she sustains while trying to protect herself from an aggressor, armed or not, are unacceptable. I can tell you that I believe that the outrage over a hasty investigation, and the potential for lost evidence, would have been just as loud as that of a man’s body in the street for what we determine to be too long by an undetermined standard. I can tell you that I know that as an unsworn civilian, I do not know how long it takes to gather appropriate evidence. I can tell you that my gut and my heart hurt for the parents of Michael Brown. I can tell you that I cannot understand why anyone would want to be a police officer, and face the fear mongering, Monday-Morning quarterbacking, oversimplification, I-didn’t-go-to-school-for-it-butknow-better-than-a-trained-professional nonsense that they do, all while being expected to show up, remain calm in the face of extreme danger, show no fear, and run in when we are all running out. Unrelated, I can tell you that for similar reasons, I cannot understand why anyone would want to be a teacher.

I can tell you that if you don’t like the law, I urge you to do something about it. I urge you to vote. I urge you to protest peacefully. I urge you to volunteer. I urge you to become a police officer. I urge you to run for office, to become a lawyer, a judge. I urge you to behave in a way that is honorable and righteous, not dishonorable and self-righteous. I can tell you that as the wife of a police officer, the fear I have when she puts on her gun is sometimes overwhelming, and I have to willfully forget what she does for a living. I can tell you that I am outraged by the number of police shot every year, and by the lack of outrage over that fact. I can tell you that I am horrified by the fact that officers are shot on routine traffic stops and there is no horror in the media. I can tell you that I am disheartened by folks who feel entitled to police protection as they lambaste “the police” for the actions of the few. I can tell you that I feel entitled to my wife coming home every night. I can tell you that the most powerful words I have seen in [relation to this] were from a friend on Facebook: “Despite everything you will hear and read, I honor your wife and others tonight.” I can tell you that this almost brought me to tears, and that it makes me know that the universe is bent toward justice, and that just as black lives matter, so do cops’. q

I can tell you that I believe that there is systemic ugliness in this world, but that does not mean that Darren Wilson was acting outside of the law.

Options | February 2015

Hometown Recovery with Jonathan Goyer by Christion Battey for AIDS Project RI

On a recent rainy Tuesday afternoon I sat down with Jonathan Goyer to discuss his personal journey through drug addiction and homelessness, the harm-reduction practices that he used to overcome this, and his 20 months of sobriety, leading to an advertising campaign to combat drug addiction and overdose. He arrived with a smile on his face as I greeted him with a big hug, not only in appreciation, but also because I am truly proud of this young man and his recent accomplishments. Jonathan grew up in East Providence and began using drugs at a young age, starting with marijuana and alcohol and progressing to stronger and harder drugs as he aged. He comes from a family of addicts; his father passed away from a drug overdose when Jonathan was 17 years old, and his older brother passed away five years ago from the same thing. “It is addiction,” Jonathan stated. “You cannot see past it. You crave it. It runs your life. It ruins your life.” His drug of choice was heroin. He began by snorting it and progressed to smoking, eventually injecting heroin to chase the “bigger high,” as he admits. After his father’s death, feeling numb, Jonathan dropped out of high school and “moved” to Providence. He had no place to live, no job, and no money. He found refuge on the streets and was not alone; he met different people in similar circumstances. “Surviving on the streets is no way to live,” he declares, looking back at the last decade of his life. His drug use was a $300 to $600 a day habit. He became a sex worker to fund his habit. “I really didn’t think about it,” he states. “It was more about the drugs, what can I score, getting a fix. That was my life, hour by hour, day by day, and nothing else mattered. I would lie, steal, cheat, manipulate. Whatever I needed to do, I did – not only for survival, as that was secondary. The drugs were the priority.” He has been in trouble with the law on multiple occasions and has wound up in jail. “You would think that would straighten someone out,” but he still could not get past his demon of heroin.

Jonathan was with a “friend” who was injecting heroin and Jonathan wanted a hit as well, although there was only one needle. His friend told him he had HVC (HEP C). Jonathan knew his chance of infection from sharing needles was great but he was willing to risk it, more concerned about scoring a hit and getting high. Jonathan later learned he tested positive for HVC and sought out some harm-reduction practices. This led him to ENCORE, a local needle exchange program in Providence. He traded used needles for clean ones. “This way I would always have clean spare needles with me and I would not be in that situation.” He also sought out free condoms to reduce his chances for other infections. It was a trip to rehab that saved his life. After being court-ordered to check into a rehab facility, Jonathan decided that after nine years of homelessness on the streets, multiple arrests, and a slew of legal troubles, it was time for a change. “I had been to rehab before,” he stated, “and I never took it seriously. I didn’t want to. I liked my life. I liked my drugs, and that is how I wanted to continue to live. This time was different – rock bottom, I guess you could say. I was six months sober living in a rehab facility getting my life in order. There is always this voice, this voice that tells you: ‘Go and get high. Come on you miss that feeling?’” He ventured out, scored some heroin and a needle, and went back to the rehab facility to get high after six months of sobriety. His tolerance was low; as he injected the heroin he passed out in the doorway of his room. His housemate found him and called the house manager. Jonathan received a dose of Narcan, an injection used to reverse the life-threatening effects of the opiate. The next thing he knew he was in the hospital. His mother and a few friends were by his side and he decided, “This is it. I am taking control of my life. I am no longer going to be a slave to the streets and drugs. I want to live.” This was the start of Jonathan’s 20 months of recovery and sobriety. He began rebuilding the relationships

most valuable to him – most importantly, with his mother. “She has always been with me and never gave up on me,” he states. “I am rebuilding the trust, love, and relationship that I stole for the past decade. My mother is a priority in my life now and that feels great! I am working a full-time job as an Assistant Manager in addition to working 30 hours with Project Weber doing outreach and HIV/HEP C testing. I volunteer approximately five hours per week as peer support at a Lifespan hospital.” He’s also part of the overdose coalition, being part of the new Health/ BHDDH/ Anchor Recovery campaign to combat drug addiction and overdose. He went on to say he’s “paying back restitution to all the ones that I have wronged. I am in a great place but I am and will always be an addict, so I have to keep going one day at a time.” I asked where he saw himself in five and in 15 years. For the short term he wants to continue his journey as a recovery specialist, helping people have access to recovery and being able to continue his outreach support. He discloses, “I would like to run for public office someday. Who knows? Mayor Goyer sounds good, right?” It sure does my friend. Thank you and keep up the great work and spirit! q AIDS Project RI is a division of Family Service of RI, providing case management, various health-related services, advocacy, prevention education, and HIV and Hep-C testing. APRI’s location is 9 Pleasant Street, Providence. Walk-in testing hours: Tuesdays 4-6pm and Thursdays 5-6:30pm. Call (401) 831-5522 or visit www. aidsprojectri.org for more info.

Options | February 2015

Resources

Options originated in 1982 as the offical newsletter of the Rhode Island Gay Task Force. Editor Jos Fayette explained, “The RIGTF wants to make the homosexual community aware of their options as gay men and women in Rhode Island. And it’s only because we live, work, love, and play in this state that there are such a large number of options available to all of us.” Options has always, and will continue to print LGBTQ resources so that you can, as Fayette went on to say, “Exercise your OPTIONS today to make positive changes in your life tomorrow.” Help us help you! Email info@optionsri.org if you come across a resource listing that needs updating. Phone numbers are in the 401 area code and addresses are in RI, unless otherwise indicated.

Addiction Support Groups

AA Brothers in Sobriety: Saturday 7:30pm. 372 Wayland Avenue, Providence. 751-9328. Alcohol/Drug Helpline: RI Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence. 24hr. (866) 252-3784. RI LGBT AA Group: Tuesdays 7-8pm. The Wellness Company,132A George M Cohan Blvd., Providence. All are welcome. Set Them Free: Narcotics Anonymous open discussion group. Wednesdays 7:30-9pm. Anchor Recovery Community Center, 249 Main Street, Pawtucket. 721-5100. info@anchorrecovery.org. www.anchorrecovery.org. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: 12-step program. Fridays at 7pm. Providence Presbyterian Church, 500 Hope Street, Providence, side entrance, downstairs to the left. Gay, but all are welcome.

AIDS/Health Resources

AFIA Center for Health & Wholeness: Meals, food pantry, HIV support groups, recovery groups, recreational and social activities. Sponsored by AIDS Project RI. Free to clients. Wednesday and Thursday 12-3pm. Mathewson Street Church, 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. Contact Gordon Cooper, 331-1350 ext. 3268. info@uwri.org. www.familyserviceri.org. AIDS Action Hotline: MA only. (800) 235-2331. www.aac.org. AIDS Care Ocean State: Confidential HIV & HEP C testing, safer-sex supplies, case management, emergency funds, clinical services, assisted and supportive housing for people living with HIV/AIDS, street outreach, ENCORE, HIV+ support groups. Speaker’s Bureau, 18 Parkis Ave., Providence. 521-3603 (call 781-0665 to schedule an appointment). www.aidscareos.org. AIDS Project RI: Division of Family Service of RI. Case management, buddies, COBRA and dental services, emergency fund, mental health counseling, nutrition support, assessment and referral, wellness programs, advocacy, strength training, prevention education, HIV testing. 9 Pleasant Street, Providence. 831-5522 www.aidsprojectri.org. AIDS Quilt RI: Displays local AIDS memorial quilt panels, panel-making programs including Anna’s Workshop, HIV/AIDS education for young people. PO Box 2591, Newport. 434-4880. admin@aidsquiltri.org.www.aidsquiltri.org. Brown University AIDS Program: Clinical trials, public policy, research, lectures, conferences, patient and community education. 121 South Main Street, Second Floor, Providence. 863-6790. brunap@ brown.edu. brown.edu/Departments/BRUNAP. Community Care Alliance: Case management, support, personal care items for people living with HIV/AIDS in northern Rhode Island.

Options | February 2015

245 Main Street, Woonsocket. 235-6092. lcohen@famresri.org. Comprehensive Community Action Programs: Medical, mental health, dental, social services, LGBT outreach. 311 Doric Avenue, Cranston. Also Coventry, Pawtucket, and Warwick. 467-9610. Gabriel Care, LLC: Nursing/social worker case management and financial compensation for assistance and supervision for those living with HIV. MassHealth funded for MA residents. 376 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. Contact Jenn, (508) 678-1002. HIV Antibody Testing: Anonymous. Free or sliding scale. RI Department of Health. Providence, Newport and other locations. 2222320. Home and Hospice Care of RI: Medical care management for HIV/AIDS. 24hr nursing staff for treatment. 1085 North Main Street, Providence. Referrals: 782-0725. Bereavement groups: Contact John Charette, 727-7079. Main Office: 415-4200 or toll-free 800-3386555. www.hhcri.org. House of Compassion: HIV/AIDS housing. 2510 Mendon Road, Cumberland. 658-3992. LGBT Caregiver Online Support Group: For LGBTs caring for someone with chronic health problems. www.caregiver.org Luis E. Martinez House CHS, Inc.: Supportive, permanent housing for 10 adults living with HIV/AIDS and/or substance abuse. New Bedford, MA. Contact Joe Taylor. (508) 984-7514. Partners in Learning About AIDS: Outreach to minorities, women of color, and LGBT community at clubs and other locations. North Providence office provides free condoms and information about STIs and post-exposure prophylaxis for HIV. 1006 Charles Street, Suite 5, North Providence. 484-7523. info@plaidsproject.org. www.plaidsproject.org. Project Weber: Services for male sex workers. Drop-in center, support groups, HIV and Hep C testing, clean needles. 383-4888. www. projectweber.org. SSTAR (Stanley Street Treatment & Resources): Counseling, drug treatment, detox, domestic violence programs, free and confidential HIV, HEP C, and STD testing, education, case management and support. MA and RI locations. 386 Stanley Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 679-5222. Project Aware (HIV/HCV); (508) 324-3561. Family Healthcare Center; (508) 675-1054. www.sstar.org. Steppingstone, Inc.: Welcome Home Medical case management program. One-on-one peer support in Somerset to Wareham area. HIV support groups available. Free and open to any HIV+ person 18+. 5 Dover Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 984-7514. www.steppingstoneinc.org. Tranquil Mind & Wellness: Counseling, alternative healing, yoga,

Pilates, meditation.109 Rhode Island Road, Lakeville, MA. (508) 9471683. www.tranquilmind.net. Thundermist Health Center: Provides HIV/AIDS services including medical care and treatment by an HIV specialist, dental care, behavioral health counseling, nutritional assessment and counseling, pharmacy consultation, free and confidential HIV testing. 450 Clinton Street, Woonsocket. Contact Philip Kane. 767-4100 ext. 3516.

Information/Education

The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health: Education, pleasure, health, advocacy.Thursday-Saturday 12-6pm and by appointment. 250 Main Street, Unit 1, Pawtucket. 489-5513. www.thecsph.org. Fenway Community Center LGBT Helpline: Support, information and referrals. Fenway Community Health Center, Boston. Open daily 6-11pm. (617) 267-9001 or 888-340-452 GLBT National Help Center Hotline: Local resources nationwide provided by social services agency. 888-843-4564. www.glbtnationalhelpcenter.org. Newport Out: LGBT website for Newport. www.newportout.com. RILGBT-News: Low-volume email distribution list for LGBT & AIDS news from RI. Not a discussion list.To subscribe: tinawood@cox.net. United Way of RI Referral Line: 2-1-1

Nightlife

The Alley Cat Providence: Downtown neighborhood bar. Monday-Thursday 3pm-1am, Friday 3pm-2am, Saturday 2pm-2am, Sunday 2pm-1am. 19 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369. Bobby’s Place: Dancing, pool, video lounge, karaoke. Sunday-Wednes-

day 5pm-1am, Thursday-Saturday 5pm-2am. 62 Weir Street, Taunton, MA. (508) 824-9997. www.bobbysplacema.com. Brooklyn Coffee Tea House: Special events space, film screenings and other public and private events. Open mic first and third Saturday 8:30-10:30pm. 209 Douglas Ave, Providence. 521-2095. www.brooklyncoffeeteahouse.com Club Body Center: Gay men’s sauna. Membership required. Oneday pass available. Open 24hr. 257 Weybosset Street, Providence. 274-0298. www.clubbodycenter.com. The Dark Lady: Downtown bar and nightclub. Tuesday-Thursday 9pm-1am, Friday & Saturday 9pm-3am, Sunday 9pm-1am. 17 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369. EGO: Providence’s newest gay nightlife performance/event space. Sunday and Thursday 9pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 10pm-3am, 73 Richmond St, Providence. 383-1208. www.egopvd.com. Mirabar: Downtown bar and nightclub. Monday-Thursday 3pm1am, Friday and Saturday 3pm-2am, Sunday 3pm-1am. 15 Elbow Street, Providence. 331-6761. www.mirabar.com. Providence Eagle: Leather, Levi, bear cruise bar. Monday-Thursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday-Sunday 12pm-2am. 124 Snow Street, Providence. 421-1447. The Stable: Downtown video bar. No cover. Monday-Thursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday 12pm-2am, Sunday 12pm-1am. 125 Washington Street, Providence. 272-6950. The Village: Downtown Providence’s newest LGBT owned and operated restaurant and live entertainment venue. Lunch & dinner Wednesday through Sunday for varying hours. 373 Richmond St. 228-7222, www.TheVillageRi.com

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Options | February 2015

Political & Legal Groups

American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU): 128 Dorrance Street, Suite 220, Providence. 831-7171. riaclu.org. Amnesty International OUTfront: Program to campaign globally for LGBTQ human rights. (212) 807-8400. Cvohs18904@yahoo. com. www.amnestyusa.org. Brown University Queer Alliance: Student advocacy and support organization. queer@brown.edu. Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD): LGBT/HIV legal info hotline. Weekdays 1:30-4:30pm. 30 Winter Street, Suite 800, Boston, MA. (617) 436-1350 or (800) 455-GLAD. gladlaw@glad.org www.GLAD.org. Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund: 120 Wall Street, Suite 1500, NY. (212) 809-8585. www.lambdalegal.org. Lawyers for Equality and Diversity (LEAD): Advocates for LGBT causes. lawyersforequality@gmail.com. The Next Thing (TNT): Political and support group for queer people of color located at Brown University. 863-3062. tnt@brown.edu. RI Commission on Prejudice and Bias: Hate crime awareness training program. www.hatecrimeri.org. RI Socialist Action: 952-5385, adgagneri@gmail.com. Spanish: 3513514, walsil@cox.net. RI Human Rights Commission: Anti-discrimination law enforcement agency with jurisdiction in employment, housing, public accommodations, and credit. 180 Westminster Street, 3rd floor, Providence. 222-2662 TTY: 222-2664, richr.ri.gov. Scouts for Equality: An organization composed largely of Boy Scouts of America alumni dedicated to ending the BSA’s ban on gay members and leaders. Contact Carol Crowther. ccrowther1@gmail. com. Facebook.com/riscoutsforequality. Servicemembers Legal Defense Network: Serving LGBT military personnel and veterans. PO Box 65301, Washington DC. (202) 328-3244. or (800) 538-7418. sldn@sldn.org. www.sldn.org.

bereanbaptist@verizon.net. www.bereanri.org. Calvary United Methodist Church of Middletown: LGBTQ early dementia support group. Contact Amy. Sundays 10:30am. 200 Turner Road, Middletown. 847-6181, www.middletownmethodist.com. Central Congregational Church: UCC. An Opening & Affirming Congregation. Sundays 10:30am. 296 Angell Street, Providence. 3311960. www.centralchurch.us. Channing Memorial Church: Unitarian Universalist. A Welcoming Congregation. Sundays 10am. 135 Pelham Street, Newport. 8460643. administrator@channingchurch.org. www.channingchurch.org. Charter Oak Grove ADF: An Open and Welcoming Congregation of Neo-pagan Druids in CT. charteroakadf@gmail.com, www.charteroakadf.org. Christ Church in Lonsdale: Episcopal. 1643 Lonsdale Avenue, Lincoln. Services 8am and 10:30am. 725-1920. office@christchurchlincoln.org. www.christchurchlincoln.org. Church of the Epiphany: A diverse Open & Affirming Episcopal congregation. 1336 Pawtucket Avenue, East Providence. 434-5012. info@epiphanyep.org, www.epiphanyep.org. Church of the Holy Paraclete: Independent Old Catholic. Fr. Jakob Lazarus. Sunday 9am and 6pm. 155 Douglas Avenue, Providence. 218-0706. www.holyparaclete.org. Edgewood Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Service 10am. 1788 Broad Street, Cranston. 461-1344. office@edgewoodchurchri.org. www.edgewoodchurchri.org. Emmanuel Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 120 Nate Whipple Highway, Cumberland. 658-1506. office@emmanuelri.org. www.emmanuelri.org.

WE TAKE PRIDE IN ALL FAMILIES!

Religious & Spiritual

All Saints Memorial Church: 674 Westminster Street, Providence. 751-1747. asmcri@verizon.net. www.allsaintsmemorial.org. Amicable Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Pastor William Sterrett. Sunday 10am. 3736 Main Road, Tiverton. 6244611. amicablechurch@aol.com, www.amicablechurch.org. Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists: robin@awab.org, www.awab.org. Barrington Congregational Church: UCC. “The white church.” Sundays 10am. 461 County Road, Barrington. 246-0111. office@bccucc.org, www.bccucc.org. Bell Street Chapel: Unitarian Universalist. A Welcoming Congregation. Rev. Margaret Weis. Sundays 10am. 5 Bell Street, Providence. 273-5678. www.bellstreetchapel.org. Beneficent Congregational Church: UCC. An Open & Affirming congregation in the heart of Providence. Co-Pastors Todd & Nicole Yonkman. Sundays 10am. 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. 331-9844. BeneficentChurchUCC@gmail.com, www.beneficentchurch.org. Berean Baptist Church: A safe and welcoming place for all God’s children. Sunday 10am. 474 Chapel Street, Harrisville. 568-5411.

Options | February 2015

CONSIDER BECOMING A FOSTER PARENT Attend our information open house on Wednesday, February 18, from 5-6:30pm at 134 Thurbers Avenue, Providence. Contact Greg Wright at 331-1350, extension 3305, or wrightgr@familyserviceri.org for additional information. www.familyserviceri.org

First Congregational Church in Bristol: An Open and Affirming Congregation. 281 High Street, Bristol. 253-7288. www.fccbristol.org. First Unitarian Church: A welcoming congregation. Sunday 10:30am. 1 Benevolent Street, Providence. 421-7970. admin@firstunitarianprov.org, www.firstunitarianprov.org. First Unitarian Church: Service 11am. 71 8th Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 994-9686. admin@uunewbedford.org, www.uunewbedford.org. First Universalist Society: UU. Welcoming congregation. Same-gender weddings. 262 Chestnut Street, Franklin, MA. (508) 528-5348. fusf@verizon.net, www.fusf.org. Foxboro Universalist Church: UUA. Service 10am. 6 Bird Street, Foxboro, MA. 508-543-4002. chair@uufoxborough.org. www.uufoxborough.org. Grace Episcopal Church in Providence: 175 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-3225. hello@gracechurchprovidence.org. www. gracechurchprovidence.org. Immanuel Lutheran Church: A Reconciling in Christ congregation. Pastor Sandra Demmler D’Amico. 647 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2898. www.immanuellc.org. Interweave at Channing Memorial UU Church: A membership organization for the spiritual, political and social well-being of LGBTQ persons, and their allies, confronting oppression. 135 Pelham Street, Newport. 846-0643. Mathewson St. Church: United Methodist. 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-8900. MathewsonStUMC@gmail.com. Mercy of God Community: Christian, inclusive religious order. mercycomm@yahoo.com, www.mgc.org. Murray Unitarian Universalist Church: Marriage and commitment ceremonies for all. Rev. Bob McKetchnie. 505 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-0505 www.murrayuuchurch.org. Newman Congregational Church: Open & Affirming. 100 Newman Avenue, Rumford. 434-4742. www.newmanucc.org. Newport Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Rev. Hayes and Rev. Baker. 73 Pelham Street, Newport. 849-2238. Park Place Congregational Church: 71 Park Place, Pawtucket. 726-2800. office@ppucc.necoxmail.com, www.parkplaceucc.com. The Pub Church: An Open & Affirming church that meets in a pub. Location may change. Saturday 5pm. The Dugout, 722 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, MA. thepubchurch@gmail.com. Pilgrim Lutheran Church: An inclusive congregation. Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 1817 Warwick Avenue, Warwick. 739-2937. parishasst@pilgrimlutheranri.org, pilgrimlutheranri.jimdo.com. Pilgrim United Church of Christ: Open and Affirming. 635 Purchase Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)-997-9086. Riverside Church: UCC.15 Oak Avenue, Riverside. Service 10am. 433-2039. www.rcc-ucc.com. St. Augustine’s Church and Episcopal Center at URI: 15 Lower College Road, Kingston. 783-2153. Sundays 8am and 10am. StAugustinesChurch@necoxmail.com, www.staugustineuri.org. St. James Church: Episcopal. 474 Fruit Hill Avenue, North Providence. 353-2079. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 10am. 50 Orchard Avenue, Providence. 751-2141. StMartinsNB.Secretary@gmail.com, www.stmartinsprov.org. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Welcoming Church. Monthly

LGBT Eucharist. 136 Rivet Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)994-8972. stmartins1887@comcast.com, www.stmartinsma.org. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 9am. 50 Park Place, Pawtucket. 728-4300. office@stpaulspawtucket.org, www.stpaulspawtucket.org. St. Paul’s Church: A welcoming Episcopal church. Sundays 9am. 2679 East Main Street, Portsmouth. 683-1164. stpaulsportsmouthri.org. St. Peter & St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church: 25 Pomona Avenue, Providence. 272-9649.stpanda25@verizon.net. www.stpeters-standrews.org. Saint Therese Old Catholic Church: Open & Affirming. Fr. David Martins. Sunday 10:30am. 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. 6809076. stocc134@gmail.com, www.saintthereseocc.org. Second Congregational Church of Attleboro: UCC. Open & Affirming. 50 Park Street, Attleboro, MA. Sunday 10am. (508) 222-4677. office2nd@verizon.net, www.attleborosecondchurch.org. Seekonk Congregational Church: Rev. Joy Utter. Sundays 9am. 600 Fall River Avenue, Seekonk, MA. (508) 336-9355. sccucc@verizon.net, www.scc-ucc.com Soka Gakkai: Buddhist association for peace, culture, and education. Contact for weekly meetings in Providence. 930 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston. (617) 264-2000. www.sgi-usa.org. Temple Agudas Achim: Reconstructionist congregation. 901 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2243. office@agudasma.org, www.agudasma.org. Temple Beth-El: Rabbi Sarah E. Mack. 70 Orchard Avenue, Providence. 331-6070. info@temple-beth-el.org, www.temple-beth-el.org. Temple Emanu-El: A welcoming Conservative congregation. Rabbi Wayne Franklin. 99 Taft Avenue, Providence. 331-1616. info@teprov.org, www.teprov.org. Temple Habonim: A warm, Welcoming Reform congregation. Rabbi Andrew Klein. 165 New Meadow Road, Barrington. 245-6536. office@templehabonim.org, www.templehabonim.org. Temple Sinai: A Welcoming Reform temple. Rabbi Jeff Goldwasser, 30 Hagen Avenue, Cranston. 942-8350. webmaster@templesinairi.org, www.templesinairi.org. Unitarian Church in Fall River: Sunday 10:30am. 309 North Main Street, Fall River, MA. 508-678-9700. office@unitarianchurchfr.org, www.unitarianchurchfr.org. Unitarian Universalist Society of Fairhaven: Service 10:30am. 102 Green Street, Fairhaven, MA. (508) 992-7081. www.uufairhaven.org. Unitarian Universalist Congregation of South County: 27 North Road, Peace Dale. 783-4170 or Val 789-7282. uucscri@yahoo. com. www.uusouthcountyri.org. Westminster Unitarian Universalist Church: A UUA Welcoming Congregation. 119 Kenyon Avenue, East Greenwich. 884-5933. www.westminsteruu.org.

Social Organizations

Bear Providence: Monthly social events for the bear community. www.bearprovidence.com. Bisexual Resource Center: PO Box 170796, Boston, MA. (617) 424-9595. brc@bicresource.net www.biresource.net. Biversity Boston: Mixed-gender social events for Boston and the surrounding area. (617) 424-9595. biversity-subscribe@biversity.org, www.biversity.org.

Options | February 2015

Boston Bisexual Women’s Network: Social activities including monthly brunches, coming out groups and quarterly newsletter “Bi Woman Quarterly.” www.biwomenboston.org. Bears Ocean State (BOS): Informal e-group for gay & bisexual bear-identified and affiliated men for friendly companionship. All welcome. groups.yahoo.com/group/bearsoceanstate. Cape and Islands Gay & Straight Youth Alliance (CIGSYA): 56 Barnstable Road, Hyannis, MA. (508) 778-7744. info@cisgsya.org, www.cigsya.org. Communisong: For unity through song. Non-performance monthly singing session. www.communisong.net. CORISMA: Potluck get-togethers for couples from RI and southeast MA. corismainfo@comcast.net, www.corismagroup.org. Imperial Court of RI at Providence: Drag and non-drag performers raise funds for local charities. All welcome to general membership meetings on first Monday at Dark Lady, 17 Snow Street, Providence. icri.prov@gmail.com. www.icriprov.org. Mixed Borders Gardening Group: Gardening and more. Monthly meetings, all welcome. Mixedborders@cox.net. www.mixedborders.com. Opera Club: Enjoy hearing and attending. Last Sunday of each month at 1pm. BrettCornellpi4@aol.com. Providence Gay Men’s Chorus: New season rehearsals begin in January and August. Singers and non-singing volunteers welcome. Monday 7-9:30pm. Beneficent Church, 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. www.provgmc.org. RI Association of Gay Professionals: Networking and philanthropy. www.riagp.com. RI Parents Pride: Gay parents socializing together with their children. Contact Melanie. 464-2288. saphicangel120@yahoo.com. RI Pride: Open house 4th Wednesdays. Festival & Parade 3rd Saturday in June. Office: 1005 Main Street #1105 Pawtucket. Mail: PO Box 1082, Providence, 02903. 467-2130. info@prideri.com, www.prideri. com. RI Prime Timers: Social and networking group for gay and bisexual men 40 and older. Second Sunday. Contact Steve, 996-3010. www. riprimetimers.org. RI Skeptics Society: Yearning to talk with someone rational? Refreshing discussion. Fourth Saturday. East Providence restaurant location. www.meetup.com/skeptics-133/. RI Women’s Association: Lesbian social group. 21+. Dances & events. www.riwa.net.

SAGE/RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders): Advocacy, education and social events for LGBTQ seniors. 235 Promenade Street, Suite 500, Box 18, Providence. 528-3259. sageriinfo@gmail.com. SEMASSMEN: Social group for GBQ men of southeastern MA & RI to foster strong friendships. Semassmen-subscribe@ yahoogroups.com. rlevass@yahoo.com. Yankee Lambda Car Club: Regional club for GLBT vintage & specialty car enthusiasts. www.yankeelcc.com.

Sports & Recreation

PrideSports Boston: Network of twenty-plus gay sports leagues/ teams in Boston area. www.pridesportsboston.com. Boston Gay BASKETBALL League: ksg.bgbl@gmail.com, www.bgbl.com. Big Gay Al’s Duckpin BOWLING League: Proceeds benefit AIDS causes. Tuesday 6:30pm. 1463 Atwood Avenue, Town Hall Lanes, Johnston. Contact Frank Ferri. 831-6940.www.bgalbowling. com. www.townhalllanes.com. GALA Bowling League: Sundays 5:50 p.m., E. Providence Lanes, 80 Newport Ave., E. Prov. Season thru April. View us on Facebook or email galabowlingleague@gmail.com. FLAG (For Lesbians And Gays) FOOTBALL: Boston-based recreational football club. All skill levels are encouraged to participate. Saturday mornings in the fall and spring. www.flagflagfootball.com. Boston Pride HOCKEY: www.bostonpridehockey.org. Rondeaus KICKBOXING: 272-5425. www.rondeauskickboxing.com. Main Street MARTIAL ARTS: Non-profit. Welcoming dojo and community center. 1282 North Main Street, Providence. 274-7672. www.mainstma.org. Chiltern Mountain Club: OUTDOOR recreation club in New England. events@chiltern.org. www.chiltern.org. Boston Gay ROWERS: Worldwide online community for gay and lesbian rowers, coxies, coaches, and race officials. www.glrf.org. Boston Ironsides RUGBY Football: www.bostonironsides.org. Frontrunners Rhode Island RUNNING Group: Running and walking group. Newcomers welcome. Meet at the end of Blackstone Boulevard at Hope Street, Providence. Thursday 6pm. Contact Brian. 751-7643. bripm@cox.net, frontrunnersri@gmail.com Frontrunners Boston RUNNING Group: Morning walk/run along the Charles River. Saturdays,10am. Club Cafe, 209 Columbus Avenue, Boston, MA. www.frontrunnersboston.org.

Welcoming LGBT professionals and their friends

A membership organization focused on: • Shared Member Contact Information • Professional Networking • Philanthropic Causes • Member Benefits

Options | February 2015

For more information, please contact: Phil Laffey at 401-727-4100, visit RI AGP on Facebook or email us at info@riagp.com

OutRyders SKIING: New England’s largest gay and lesbian ski and snowboard club. www.outryders.org. Boston Strikers SOCCER Club: Non-profit social organization to learn and improve soccer skills in a relaxed, congenial environment. www.bostonstrikers.com. Renaissance City SOFTBALL League: New players and boosters always welcome. www.providencesoftball.org. Beantown SOFTBALL League: Friendly competition. 27 teams in four divisions of play: competitive, intermediate, and recreational. (617) 297-7490. www.beantownsoftball.com. LANES (Liquid Assets New England SWIMMING): Fitness and/ or competition. (617) 937-5858. www.swim-lanes.org. TENNIS-4-All: Boston area tennis organization. www.tennis4all.org. Cambridge Boston VOLLEYBALL Association: Players of all skill levels welcome. secretary@cbvolleyball.net www.gayvolleyball.net. Ocean State Pride VOLLEYBALL League: Adult co-ed indoor league following USVBA rules. No try-outs. Fee applies. Kent County YMCA, 900 Centerville Road, Warwick. ospvolleyball@gmail.com. East Coast WRESTLING Club: (617)937.5858 x6. ecwc@juno.com. www.eastcoastwrestlingclub.org.

Students & Youth

Bristol Community College Gay/Straight Alliance: Steven Camara, Advisor. BCC-H202, 777 Elsbree Street, Fall River, MA. (774) 357-2391. Brown University Queer Alliance: Umbrella organization at Brown University for LGBTQ groups. 863-3062. queer@brown.edu or lgbtq@brown.edu. CCRI Triangle Alliance: an LGBTQQ student-run group at CCRI, on the Flanagan, Liston, and Knight campuses. www.ccri.edu/triangle/. COLAGE: Support and social activities for children of LGBT parents. Coordinator Veronica Jutras. Third Saturday 10:30am-12pm. Gordon School, E. Providence. rhodeisland@colage.org www.colage.org/colage-chapter/colage-rhode-island-chapter/. LGBT National Youth Talkline: 800-246-7743. Private one-toone chat and info on local resources. Peer Listening Line: Youth-staffed hotline for GLBT youth. Support, info and referrals. 5-10pm. Fenway Community Health Center, Boston, MA. (617) 267-9001 or (800) 399-PEER. www.fenwayhealth.org. Salve Regina University – The Alliance: 100 Ochre Point Avenue, Newport. Contact: Mandy Hart. mandy.hart@salve.edu. SeaQuel (Southeast Asian Queers United for Empowerment

TOWN HALL LANES 1463 Atwood Avenue, Johnston 831-6940

www.bgalbowling.com www.townhalllanes.com Home of Big Gay Al’s Bowling League! 36

and Leadership): a program of PRYSM. Monthly Sunday meetings. 383-7450. SeaQuel@prysm.us. www.prysm.us. S.H.E.P.A.R.D. (Stopping Homophobia, Eliminating Prejudices and Restoring Dignity): Providence College, 1 Cunningham Square, Providence. 865-1631. shepard@providence.edu. The Trevor Project: The only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for LGBT youth. Also offers social networks. (866)4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386). thetrevorproject.org. University of RI LGBTIQ2: Alumni association. 874-5808. gsimonelli@uri.edu. URI LGBTQ Center: A cultural department for students, faculty and staff. Florence Badejo. 874-2894. Youth Pride Inc.: Support, education & advocacy for LGBTQQ young people ages 13--23. Tues. -- Fri. 2 -- 8pm. The Way Out peer support group Thurs. 4pm. Gender Spectrum support group Tues. 4pm. Visit our website for full calendar of events. 743 Westminster St., Providence. 421-5626. info@youthprideri.org. www.youthprideri.org.

Support Groups & Social Services

Abuse Victims and Survivors: Support on phone for LGBTQ victims & survivors of partner abuse. Confidential peer-led groups. Hotline: (617) 742-4911. TTY: (617) 227-4911. advocate@tnlr.org. Adoption Options: Non-sectarian help. Jewish Family Service, 959 North Main Street, Providence. Contact Betsy Alper. 331-5437. www.adoptionoptions.org. Community Care Alliance: Stipend, assistance, training provided by Family Resources Community Action. 235-6095. www.famresri.org. Foster parents needed: For newborn to age six. 276-4300. www. childrensfriendri.org. Family Service RI: Training, stipend, support provided for nurturing families. Family Service of RI. Contact Gregary Wright. 331-1350 ext. 3305. www.familyserviceri.org. Seven Hills Behavioral Health: HIV Prevention and Screening. 310 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 235-1012. T.W.I.S.T. (508) 672-0378. Blackstone Valley Advocacy Center: Offering resources for victims of domestic violence. 723-3057. www.bvadvocacycenter.org. Compass: FTM trans info, support and social group. Boston first Thursday 7-9pm. compassftm@gmail.com. www.compassftm.org. Crossroads RI Hotline: (800) 367-2700. Day One: Counseling & legal aid for victims of sexual assault/abuse & incest. 24hr hotline. (800) 494-8100. 421-4100. www.dayoneri.org. Domestic Violence Resource Center of South County: Support, court advocacy, counseling, safe home, info for women and men in abusive or controlling relationships. 24hr free and confidential helpline. 782-3990 or toll free 800-494-8100, www.dvrcsc.org. Gay Fathers of Greater Boston: Support. 738 Main St. #323, Waltham, MA. (781) 333-8429. info@gayfathersboston.org, www.gayfathersboston.org. Gay Officers Action League (GOAL)/New England: Law enforcement officers (sworn & civilian), fire, rescue and publicly employed EMS. Confidential. PO Box 587, Boston, MA 02117. (617) 376-3612. info@goalne.org, www.goalne.org. Gay Share: Coming Out? Gay men’s support group. No fee.

Options | February 2015

Wednesday 7:30pm. Contact Tom or Mike. 369-9448. info@gayshare. org, www.gayshare.org. GLBTQ Domestic Violence Project: Support, info, shelter. 955 Massachusetts Avenue, Private Message Box 131, Cambridge, MA. (800) 832-1901. www.glbtqdvp.org. Helpline for LGBT Youth: Trevor Helpline and social networks for crisis and suicide prevention. 24/7. (866) 4-U-Trevor. HIV+ Gay Men’s Support Group: Refreshments served. AIDS Care Ocean State, 18 Parkis Avenue, Providence. 521-3603. New members contact Scott. 640-3108. Kathys’ Group: Free support group for lesbians with cancer or any life-threatening illness. Partners and caregivers welcome. Meets monthly in Providence. 888-5KATHYS. Mantalk of S.E. Mass: Socializing and discussions for gay, bi and curious men. Confidential. Drug and alcohol-free. 18+. Thursdays in Taunton and first Tuesdays in New Bedford. 7-8:30pm. mantalksouthcoast@yahoo.com. National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Assoc./New England: Works for fair and accurate media coverage of LGBT issues. info@ nlgja.org, www.nlgja.org. Partner Support Group at Fenway Health: A ten-week support group with the purpose of building community and connections for anyone who identifies as non-trans, ages 18+, and is in a relationship with a trans* person(s). 1340 Boylston Street, Boston, MA. Contact Sarah Eley, LICSW. 857-313-6551. seley@fenwayhealth.org. PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays): Greater Providence chapter, serves all RI and southeastern MA. First Wednesday 6:45pm. Met School, 325 Public Street, Providence. 751-7571. PFLAGprovidence@gmail.com, www.pflagprovidence.org. RI Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 24hr helpline: (800) 494-8100. 467-9940. RI Rainbow Support Group: For people with disabilities who identify as LGBTQ. Last Tuesday. 98 Rolfe Street, Cranston. 6-7:30pm. Contact Ken Renaud. 785-2100. Samaritans: 24hr hotline for suicidal, lonely, despairing, depressed. (800) 365-4044. 272-4044 (RI only). www.samaritansri.org. Sexual Health Education & Advocacy Program: HIV, sexual wellness, domestic violence risk reduction. Free, confidential, bilingual (Spanish). No caller ID used. Calls blocked for safety. 861-6191 ext. 121. Sojourner House: Call for confidential support group. Support, shelter, advocacy and information for people in abusive relationships. Including specific LGBT services. No caller ID used. Outgoing calls blocked for safety. 24hr helpline. 765-3232. 861-6191. www.sojournerri.org Straight Spouses: Groups and online support. www.straightspouse.org. TGI Network of RI: Support, advocacy for transgender, transsexual, gender-variant, genderqueer and/or intersex people. Borderlands peer group, first and third Tuesday 7-9pm. For location and information 4415058. info@tginetwork.org, www.tginetwork.org. Trans* Partners New England: Gives romantic partners of transgender people a confidential, safe space to explore the impact of a loved one’s gender identity on their relationships, and to connect with other loved ones of transgender people. First Wednesday 6:308:30pm. Providence. Location unpublished for privacy. partners@ tginetwork.org.

Options | February 2015

Trans* Youth Family Allies: Support for gender-variant and transgender children ages 3-18. info@imatyfa.org, www.imatyfa.org. Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA): Growing organization to address the concerns of fair treatment of transgender veterans and active duty service members. www.tavausa.org. Women’s Resource Center of Newport and Bristol Counties: Offering services to victims of domestic violence. 846-5263. www.wrcnbc.org. q

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Worth a Look by The Lit Chick

“When I close my eyes, I dream in color,” sings Mary Lambert in “Monochromatic,” one of my favorite tracks on her first full-length studio album, Heart on My Sleeve. Lambert has steadily risen to fame since she wrote and recorded the hook for the hit single “Same Love.” The spirit of “I can’t change” – that unapologetic, “here I am, as I am” attitude – carries through this entire album. There’s a fearlessness about the way Lambert sings. At some times poppy and light and at other times soulful and raw, but always with a clean, clear voice, Lambert puts herself out there, exactly as she is. In Heart on My Sleeve, Lambert

I almost didn’t write about My Husband’s Not Gay, TLC’s controversial special that first aired in January. I almost succumbed to the outrage heaped on the show before it aired. The thinking was that the show would be harmful because it presents being gay as a choice. Watching these men constantly struggle with trying not to be themselves shows that this is clearly not the case. The show follows a group of Mormon men who met through an SSA (same-sex attraction) support group. Throughout the show, the men encourage each other to openly check out other men. Jeff tells his wife he’s going camping with a group of men he doesn’t know. “When my husband goes on these overnight trips I get concerned,” she tells the camera. For the most part, the men seem honest about how they feel. “I don’t mind being called gay,” says Tom, the single 30-something. “I just don’t feel like it’s totally accurate. I don’t feel like the label describes me or who I am.” The opposing perspective comes when the group meets former group member, Jay, shopping with his boyfriend. “Over time I decided that ‘gay’ wasn’t a big, bad monster that other people seemed to think it was,” says Jay. “The word ‘gay’ wasn’t going to define me; I was going to define the word ‘gay.’ ” Even though the uncomfortable dance with semantics continues, I think we should celebrate that within a culture of extreme intolerance, these men are now able to talk openly about their feelings for other men. It’s a glimmer of light they have chosen to welcome as it peeks into their closets.

stands up (and out) honestly, and her talent grounds her. Lambert’s surprising cover of “Jessie’s Girl” transforms the song completely and makes it her own. Lambert writes all of her lyrics and the turns of phrase are unforced and beautiful in their simplicity. In the album’s spoken word track she says, “I was halved the moment I was born...and I was found whole the moment you spoke,” and in “So Far Away,” she purrs, “Kiss me like the world is going to disappear.” Heart on My Sleeve is available on iTunes and at www.marylambertsings.com

Ten years ago, photographer Rachelle Lee Smith grabbed her camera and began a photographic essay of queer youth, ages 14 to 24. Smith simply took their pictures against a white background, printed them and then asked the youth to write something about themselves in the white space. The more than 65 portraits have since appeared and continue to appear in galleries, public universities and high schools, churches, youth centers, and large corporate offices, nationally and internationally, and have been published in magazines and aired on television. Now, they’ve become a book: Speaking OUT: Queer Youth in Focus. The book is a snapshot of the hopes, fears, potential, and optimism of its youth. It’s also a retrospective. Smith found the original youths and asked some of them to comment on their portraits and their then-youthful perspectives, ten years later. “I’m prouder now of being a lesbian than I was back then, and more importantly a black butch-identified lesbian,” one writes, reflecting on her portrait. Says Smith, who raised the funds to publish the book via a grassroots campaign on Indiegogo, “Speaking OUT gives a voice to an underserved group of people that are seldom heard and often silenced.” Speaking OUT: Queer Youth in Focus is available on Amazon. See some of the portraits at http://rachelleleesmith.com/speakingout/.

Options | February 2015

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Free, anonymous STD/HIV testing 1125 North Main Street, Providence, RI Weds, Thurs, Friday 12:30 - 3:30PM AIDS PROJECT RHODE ISLAND Talk to a doctor to No insurance or appointment necessary determine if a Prophylaxis www.aidsprojectri.org Contact: Dr. Phil Chan, pchan@lifespan.org is right forClinic you. Manager Bobby DuCharme: www.men2menri.org 401-793-4715

Options | February 2015

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