options March 2015
LGBTQ News, Resources & Events
Pride Prom Photo Recap pg. 20
FREE Rhode Island’s LGBTQ Community Magazine Since 1982
options
In This Issue:
Rhode Island’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer community news source since 1982. March 2015, Vol. XXXIII, Issue 11
First Event: Transgender Conference pg. 24
Pride Prom Photo Recap pg. 20
Imperial Court of RI Coronation pg. 22
4 From the Editor 4 Letter to the Editor 5 FDA Blood Ban 6 From the Publisher 6 Advertisers 8 Calendar of Events 10 News Briefs 12 Ask Paula 14 Thea Shaheen Benefit Concert 16 Lesbians on the Loose 17 Fetish Fair Fleamarket 18 Overcoming Insomnia
Worth a Look: Kristen Merlin pg. 38
19 RIWA Shamrock Dance 20 Pride Prom Photo Recap 22 Imperial Court of RI Coronation 23 Youth Pride Inc. Volunteer Spotlight 24 First Event:Transgender Conference 26 News from SAGE-RI 27 ACOS Encore Program 28 News from RI Pride 29 APRI Dining Out for Life 30 LGBT Feminism 31 Resources 38 Worth a Look
Home delivery is free! Subscribe at www.optionsri.org, email frank@optionsri.org, or write to us at our PO Box. © OPTIONS 2015. Options is published monthly. The opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the governing board, volunteers, or staff. Listings are provided as a resource and do not imply endorsement. Submissions to Options must include a phone number or email address. Names may be withheld on request. Submissions, ads, calendar, or resource listings for the April issue must be delivered by March 13.
Options | March 2015
Publisher Kyle McKendall kyle@optionsri.org Editor in Chief Jen Stevens editor@optionsri.org Calendar Editor Samuel Simas info@optionsri.org Senior Copy Editor Myra Shays Copy Editors Bradford Greer, Maria Phillips Graphic Design Theresa “Reese” Barzyk Writers Kurt Bagley, Adam Brooks, Cathy S. Cranston, Annie Cronin-Silva, Christopher Dalpe, Jeana DeLaire, Lorraine Nye, Jodi Glass, Bradford Greer, Gus Manocchia, Ryan Marnane, The Lit Chick, Dominique Pistone, Melanie Silva, Samuel Simas, Paula Smith Photo Editor Michael Scanlon IV Photographers Irene Su, Jess Wrubel Finance Director Donny McKendall billing@optionsri.org Subscription Manager Francis Ryan frank@optionsri.org Distribution Coordinator Sean Drury sean@optionsri.org Advertising Samuel Simas adver tising@optionsri.org
Contact Us info@optionsri.org PO Box 6406 Providence, RI 02940 (401) 724-LGBT www.optionsri.org Cover: Linda LaFontaine & Tammy Pita Photo by: Jess Wrubel
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From the Editor March is the month to celebrate women and we have several stories of interest. Jodi Glass interviews feminist Sally Gabb (p. 30), the Lesbians on the Loose report from the recent Indigo Girls show (p. 16), and the stalwart Rhode Island Women’s Association kicks off their season with a Shamrock Dance (p. 19). Perhaps you missed the lesbian-dominated Pride Prom (p. 20) and seek to commune with fellow women. Ladies, open your calendars and take notes from ours (p. 8) because many exciting upcoming events were devised with you in mind.The Pride Goddess Show,Vagina Monologues, Women’s Health & Education Fund Bowl-a-thon,Voices for Hope Benefit Concert, and Women’s Expo offer insight into feminine artistry, anatomy, struggle, freedom, power, and diversity. Transgender issues continue to make headlines in LGBTQ news. In this issue you’ll learn about a woman’s triumph in overcoming her insurer’s false denial of coverage for genderconfirmation surgery (p. 14); Ask Paula offers helpful advice to someone otherwise unable to receive professional help (p. 12); and one of the largest transgender conferences to date offers invaluable information and socialization to a community bursting out of the closet. I hope readers aren’t too disappointed to find we took a break from conducting an On the Shoulders of Giants interview this month. Fear not—your feedback has been incredibly encouraging and the series will return, though expectedly evolved with the intent to reach further back, unearthing forgotten history. Spending a year interviewing my many heroes within our local community has been one of the greatest privileges and achievements of my life. Readers are offered the same opportunity, so I implore community historians to reach out with potential subject matter. Certainly the On the Shoulders of Giants series will be more impactful with your collective guidance. Were Options to have a Volunteer of the Month award, February’s would surely be awarded to Bradford Greer for writing two stories, participating in all three editing nights, providing food, and transporting a volunteer in blizzard-like conditions. We thank you, Brad. Speaking of volunteers… Options seeks a calendar editor to keep track of community events. We have a straightforward process that’s easily accomplished remotely.This is the perfect volunteer opportunity for someone interested in keeping tabs on what’s happening while making a definitive impact. Contact us if you’re interested. Options is perpetually seeking new contributors. In solidarity, Jen Stevens
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Letter to the Editor Triple Crown Pageant Growing Pains
As the 21st century churns forward and civil rights for our gay population continue to spread across the United States, the visibility of our LGBTQ citizens also continues to rise.The world that the LGBTQ community exists in is far from perfect, but it has become far more welcoming than it ever was before. Simply put, it is now safer to openly identify ourselves as, say, a transgender person or a bisexual person than it ever has been in the past, and that is a very happy thing to be able to put into words, and definitely a reason to celebrate! Our beloved Triple Crown Pageant, in which Rhode Island Pride crowns a Mr. Gay RI, Ms. Lesbian RI, and Miss Gay RI each spring, is also experiencing growing pains as a result of our new found freedom and visibility. For example, if a transwoman wants to enter the pageant, should she compete against a population of drag queens or compete against a lesbian? Likewise, should a transgender male run in the Mr. Gay RI? And then what of the bisexual population? Don’t they deserve representation? The pageant is already very long; we also don’t want a five hour pageant. As a member of Pride’s Board of Directors, I identify the nature of our goal as trying to represent our entire community in our day-to-day activities. We are no longer simply gay—we are truly a diverse LGBTQ community and we must evolve with that in mind. There was some discussion about retaining the title of Miss Gay RI, but changing the other two titles to Miss LGBTQ RI and Mr. LGBTQ RI – where anyone other than a drag queen would compete to be either a general male titleholder or a general female titleholder. As a transwoman myself, I am not sure that lesbians and transwomen competing against each other makes sense. Since we are trying to be diverse, I found the concept of just being lumped together somewhat insulting, like a giant step backwards. So then what? How do we truly represent the entire community in our pageant without ruining it at the same time? That is our dilemma. For this year, the Board decided that anyone wishing to run for a title may declare what that title should be and we will go from there. Hopefully community members will give it some thought and come forward with more ideas. Sincerely, Krystle Ray Baxter
Options | March 2015
by Bradford Greer
In 1985 the Food and Drug Administration ordered a lifetime ban on gay men donating blood. It was still the beginning of the AIDS epidemic. Facts were scarce. Innuendo, speculation, rumor, and blame targeted anyone who became infected. While heterosexual donors were accepted indiscriminately, all donations from men who have sex with men were halted forever.
Quebec, decided to lift their lifetime ban but instituted a five-year waiting period. Australia changed their donation policy to a one-year deferral in 2000. The UK changed in 2011. Brazil, Japan, and Sweden also have one-year deferrals. Several have no deferral at all including Italy, Portugal, Russia, and Poland. A great many countries still have an indefinite ban including France, Germany, China, Ireland, and Israel.
After thirty years the lifetime ban has finally been lifted. But don’t raise your rainbow flag just yet. For gay men, when your prince arrives you must keep sexual intimacy on hold for at least a year if you wish to become a blood donor. That means after every sexual encounter, you must wait one year before you can donate blood again. That is the good news according to the FDA. The status of gay male donors has been upgraded to the same one-year sexual abstention for prostitutes, heterosexuals who have sex with prostitutes, and intravenous drug users. They expect this policy change will result in a significant increase in available blood supply.
Since 2006, organizations such as The American Association of Blood Banks, The American Red Cross, and America’s Blood Centers have been lobbying the FDA to drop the lifetime ban.
The FDA is still being conservative because it is concerned about human errors in blood banks. According to their statistics, one in two million new infections is acquired through transfusions due to blood bank errors. Although considered a relatively low number, the FDA couples this with statistics that show a higher percentage of the general population of those newly infected with HIV are men who have sex with men. HEMA, the organization that manages the Canadian blood supply in
Options | March 2015
The American Medical Association (AMA) recommended that gay and bisexual men be evaluated individually and that risk be assessed through behavior, not sexual orientation. “The lifetime ban on blood donation for men who have sex with men is discriminatory and not based on sound science,” said Dr. William Kobler, an AMA spokesman. Lambda Legal asserted, “Within 45 days of exposure, currently required blood donation testing detects all known serious blood-borne pathogens, including HIV.” The new policy appears to ignore the current testing, which in some cases can identify the virus in as little as nine days. It does not take into account the many gay men who are not infected because they practice safe sex or are in long-term, monogamous relationships, or have been celibate for months for any number of reasons. It categorizes all gay men under the same high risk sexual umbrella, yet women can have sex with multiple partners over the same year with no knowledge of their
personal histories and remain in the donor pool. Dr. Philip Chan, the internal medicine and infectious diseases physician at The Miriam Hospital and Rhode Island Hospital, and Assistant Professor of Medicine at Brown University, with a master’s degree in molecular genetics, said, “I think the ban on gay men donating blood is ridiculous and should be repealed. There is no science that supports this decision. The policy was initially implemented early in the AIDS epidemic when we did not have good tests to screen the blood supply. Now we have very accurate tests. There is no scientific reason for the ban.” So the question remains: Why are gay men still being discriminated against? If there is a waiting period, shouldn’t there be the same waiting period for everyone who is sexually active? Why not evaluate the behavioral risks not only through questionnaires, but by interviewing potential donors about specific sexual practices regardless of sexual identity? Peter Marks, deputy director of the FDA’s center for biologics evaluation and research, told the Wall Street Journal that first there must be a draft of the new guidance policy, followed by a comment period before the final guidance goes into effect. That will probably happen sometime this year. This new policy will only bring gay men who are not sexually active or who chose to have sex once a year into the donor pool. Perhaps that will increase the nation’s blood supply significantly. That may be the only sliver of a discriminatory silver lining to be found here. q
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From the Publisher
Advertisers in This Issue
Dear Reader, When we published our March 2014 issue, 17 states had marriage equality. One year later, as this issue goes to print, 37 states have equal marriage and we’re all hopeful the marriage equality cases before the Supreme Court Justices will make it 50. Clearly our community has achieved remarkable successes over the past twelve months, but full acceptance of LGBTQ people is a work in progress. “Accelerating Acceptance,” a report released last month by GLAAD, found 36 percent of respondents stating that they were uncomfortable seeing a gay couple hold hands in public, and 24 percent were uncomfortable attending a same-sex wedding. Looking back at the March 2014 issue also provides an opportunity to measure Options’ organizational success. The issue was the last mailed in a discreet white envelope, the first published by Jen Stevens and me in our leadership roles, the start of a design overhaul, and a concerted effort to re-engage our audience and strengthen our ties within the community. Our organization made great strides this past year. Readership, engagement, donations, and advertising have all increased. But, much like achieving the goal of full acceptance, this organization has work to do to stabilize the publication and to continue to build upon this vibrant community resource.
AIDS Care Ocean State - Drag Bingo.............................11 AIDS Care Ocean State - Know Your Status.................. 7 Bill Hendrickson, Electrician....................................................35 Blue Cross Blue Shield of Rhode Island...........................13 City Kitty............................................................................................23 Cruise Planners..............................................................................39 Family Service of Rhode Island.............................................39 Gregory’s Optical.........................................................................23 High Rocks Condominiums....................................................11 Indigo Lounge.................................................................................27 JDHS Photos...................................................................................39 Jennifer Minuto, Attorney.........................................................17 Jennifer Minuto, Musician..........................................................35 John D. DaPonte, Mental Health Counselor.................28 Marjorie L. Roblin, Mental Health Counselor................. 7 Mister Sister.....................................................................................17 Patriot Subaru.................................................................................13 Plumbing by Paul............................................................................. 6 Quidnessett Country Club.....................................................39
Both our community and the industry of publishing are growing and evolving quickly. We’re working hard to adapt and react to these changes where we can. Our publication has deep roots into the LGBTQ community here in Rhode Island, and many have a special connection with Options. If you want to see Options continue to be a resource for our community, and I hope you do, then I ask you to consider how you can help our organization.
Residential Properties.................................................................. 7
We need your ideas, opinions, and your energy. Time commitments to Options are minimal, but your impact on the organization is invaluable. I can’t possibly emphasize enough the need for more organizational support. Please contact me if you have input on the organization’s direction. Your skill set will be utilized, and your voice heard.
Town Hall Lanes............................................................................27
Onward,
Kyle McKendall
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RI Association of Gay Professionals...................................26 RI Pride Triple Crown Pageant..............................................25 Rue De L’Espoir.............................................................................37 The Stable.........................................................................................25 Stadium Theatre: Girls Night Out......................................... 7 Stephen J. Dennis, Attorney....................................................36 The Village.........................................................................................40
Options | March 2015
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Options | March 2015
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Calendar of Events Goddess Show March 8
March
Drag Bingo March 19
benefit AIDS Care Ocean State and AIDS Project RI.
Sun. 1 Options Magazine Release Party, 3-6pm.The Stable, 125 Washington Street, Providence. Join Options for the release of the March issue.Volunteers needed for distribution. www.optionsri.org
Thu. 19 Brown Meditation Community’s LGBTQ Sangha, 6:30-8pm. Manning Chapel on Brown University’s Main Green, Providence. Meditation and discussion. For more info, BrownLGBTQSangha@gmail.com.
Sun. 1 Kaki King:The Neck is a Bridge to the Body, 8pm. Columbus Theater, 270 Broadway, Providence. All ages. $20 adv./$25 door.
Thu. 19 Gallery Night. Providence galleries open their doors every third Thursday of the month from March to November. This free event celebrates art ranging from contemporary multimedia installations to one-of-a-kind functional artworks. For more info, www.gallerynight.info.
Sat. 7 RI Women’s Association Shamrock Dance and potluck, 7pm. All welcome who identify as women. Letter Carriers Hall , 174 Mayfield Stret, Cranston. $10/free for members. Sun. 8 RI Pride Goddess Show, 1-5pm. Olive’s, 108 North Main Street, Providence. 16th Annual Celebration of Women in the Arts. Hosted by Ellen Moschetto with Xelle, Bettysioux Tailor, Kristen Minsky, Mya Byrne, Heather Rose in Clover, Carrie Ashton, Elena Jawits, and Marie Michaelle. $25 advance/$30 at the door. For tickets, www.prideri.com. Sun. 8 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7pm. Network for gay and bisexual men 50+. Social, dinner, and meeting. For more info, www. riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010. Thu. 12 Sweet LittleVariety Show, 8pm. Aurora,276Westminster Street, Providence.A queer-produced potpourri of entertainment including music, comedy, dance, and oddities. $6. Thu. 12-Sat. 14 Sister Mother Daughter Wife, 7:30pm. Paff Auditorium, URI Providence Campus, 80 Washington Street, Providence. A new play written and directed by S. Brian Jones. Free. For information, 277-5206 or uri.artsandculture@gmail.com. Wed. 18 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence. Reading: Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@gmail.com. Thu. 19 Drag Bingo: A Lil’ Bit Country, A Lil’ Bit Rock N Roll, 6-9pm. Riviera Bingo Palace, 1612 Elmwood Avenue, Cranston. $20 gets you in all games with over $2000 in cash and prizes awarded monthly. Hosted by Kitty Litter and Haley Star. All funds raised
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Fri. 20 Ian Harvie, 8pm. The Dark Lady, 17 Snow Street, Providence. Groundbreaking trans comedian and co-star of the two-time Golden Globe-winning TV series Transparent on Amazon Prime. 18+. For tickets, http://www.showclix.com/event/ Event39154549962 Wed. 25 Rhode Island Pride Open House, 7pm. 1005 Main Street #1105 in Pawtucket’s Hope Artiste Village. Social gathering and discussion of community events and opportunities for involvement. All are welcome. For more info, www.prideri.com or 467-2130. Sat. 28 Options Magazine Newport Release Party, 4-8pm.Willy’s Burger Bar & Rotisserie, 599Thames Street, Newport. Join Options and NewportOut for the release of the April issue. Volunteers needed for distribution. www.optionsri.org. Sun. 29 Options Magazine Release Party, 3-6pm.The Stable, 125 Washington Street, Providence. Join Options for the release of the April issue.Volunteers needed for distribution. www.optionsri.org.
April Thu. 9 Sweet LittleVariety Show, 8pm.Aurora, 276 Westminster Street, Providence.A queer-produced potpourri of entertainment including music, comedy, dance, and oddities. $6. Sun. 12 Women’s Health & Education Fund Annual Bowlathon. Town Hall Lanes, Johnston. For more info, www.whefri.org. Options | March 2015
Pride Triple Crown Pageant April 12 Sun. 12 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7pm. Network for gay and bisexual men 50+. Social, dinner, and meeting. For more info, www.riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010. Sun. 12 PrideTriple Crown Pageant:Under the BigTop, 7-10:30pm. Colosseum, 150 Pine Street, Providence. Mr. Gay, Ms. Lesbian, Miss Gay, and other potential title holders will be crowned.Visit www. prideri.com to learn more and apply. VIP tables and advanced tickets ($15) available at www.prideri.com, $20 at the door. Wed. 15 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence. Reading: Patience and Sarah by Isabel Miller. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@gmail.com. Thu. 16 Drag Bingo: Spring Break Beach Party, 6-9pm. Riviera Bingo Palace, 1612 Elmwood Avenue, Cranston. $20 gets you in all games with over $2000 in cash and prizes awarded monthly. Hosted by Kitty Litter and Haley Star.All funds raised benefit AIDS Care Ocean State and AIDS Project RI. Fri. 17 Imperial Court of RI Coronation Weekend: Out of Town Show, 7-10pm.The Dark Lady, 17 Snow Street, Providence. Featuring performances from out-of-town Imperial Court members, bar crawl to follow, $10. Sat. 18 - Sun. 19 Southern New England Women’s Expo, Sat. 12pm-5pm, Sun. 11am-4pm. All day womencentric events and vendors. For info, www.southernnewenglandwomensexpo.com. Sat. 18 Imperial Court of RI Coronation Ball XXIII: The Glamourous Life - A Retrospective Look at Fashion, 5:30pm cocktails, 7pm dinner and show. Grand Ballroom, Biltmore Hotel, 11 Dorrance Street, Providence, $100. Sat. 18 Voices for Hope, 6pm. Mechanics Hall, Worcester, 321 Main Street, MA. Kada Films presents a concert to support the production of Life Abstract, a film about healing and hope for a young lesbian recovering from child abuse. Featuring: Uh Huh Her, Melissa Ferrick, Catie Curtis, Bitch, Sick of Sarah, Antigone Rising, Run Jenny, Bethel Steele, Kristen Merlin, and more. Comedienne Suzanne Westenhoefer hosts. For tickets and info, www. Options | March 2015
Imperial Court Coronation April 18 mechanicshall.org. Sat. 18 SAGE-RI presents: Put a Little Silver in Your Rainbow, 7-10pm.Warwick Museum of Art, 3259 Post Road,Warwick. An elegant evening of art, drinks, high end desserts, as well a silent auction of beautiful works of art from local artisans including Michael Guy, Richard Muto, Thea Ernest, Felt Sutra. DJ Michael Norday spins. Mail check for $50 per ticket to: SAGE-RI, 235 Promenade Street, Suite 500, Box 18, Providence, RI 02908. Sun. 19 Imperial Court of RI Coronation Weekend: Victory Brunch, 10:30am. Grand Ballroom, Biltmore Hotel, 11 Dorrance Street, Providence, $35. Wed. 22 Rhode Island Pride Open House, 7pm. 1005 Main Street #1105 in Pawtucket’s Hope Artiste Village. Social gathering and discussion of community events and opportunities for involvement. All are welcome. For more info, www.prideri.com or 467-2130. Thu. 23 Vagina Monologues, 7pm. Chan’s, 276 Main St. Woonsocket.Performed in English and Spanish.Benefits Sojourner House. For more info, www.sojournerri.org. Thu. 30 Dining Out for Life to benefit AIDS Project Rhode Island. Participating restaurants donate a portion of their day’s receipts to fight HIV and AIDS. Interested participants should contact Julie at 519-2289 or Julie@aidsprojectri.org Regularly Scheduled Support Groups: ACOS (youth): Tue. 4pm, (gay males): Wed. 1:30pm Alcoholics Anonymous (LGBT Group): Tue. 7pm COLAGE (children of LGBTs): 3rd Sat. 10:30am PFLAG (parents, friends, allies): 1st Wed. 6:45pm TGI Network (trans*): 1st & 3rd Tue. & Sat. 7pm TransFamily New England: 2nd Mon. 6:30pm YPI (youth): Way Out Thu. 4pm/Gender Spectrum Tue. 4pm
See Resources on page 31 for more info.
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News Briefs by Adam Brooks
Obama’s 2016 Budget Plan Includes Same-Sex Couples
Michigan Governor Announces Recognition of Gay Marriages
President Obama’s 2016 budget includes a proposed change to the Social Security Act that has long been pushed for by LGBT advocates. Under the current Social Security Act, a couple that married in a state with legal same-sex marriage couldn’t receive any spousal benefits if they moved to a state where same-sex marriage isn’t recognized. Under Obama’s proposal, these couples would have full benefits even if a state refuses to recognize the marriage. Freedom to Marry President Evan Wolfson said that the change “would fix a crucial gap in federal protections for same-sex couples.” He added, “The only way to ensure same-sex couples nationwide have all the protections of marriage is for the Supreme Court to put the country on the right side of history by ending marriage discrimination throughout the United States, leaving no family and no state behind.”
Rick Snyder, the Republican Governor of Michigan, announced last month that the state will legally recognize and extend marriage benefits to over 300 same-sex couples married on March 22, 2014. The governor faced a deadline to either appeal a recent district court ruling or let stand the judge’s injunction requiring Michigan to recognize the marriages, which were performed when the state’s samesex marriage ban was temporarily lifted. Michigan is one of four states in the U.S. that upheld same-sex marriage bans with a 2-1 decision of the U.S. Court of Appeals. Snyder’s position on equal rights had flip-flopped since January, but he recently addressed his fellow Republicans to make strides to end LGBT discrimination.
Anti-LGBT Bakery Faces Legal Charges
Oregon Swears in First Openly Bisexual Governor
In early 2013 a family-owned Oregon bakery turned away a lesbian couple who hoped to purchase a wedding cake. The owners, Aaron and Melissa Klein, claimed that serving homosexual couples didn’t coincide with their lifestyle and that they were “living in accordance with their beliefs.” The Kleins now face legal charges because the denial of service violated Oregon’s anti-discrimination laws. The Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industries will hold a hearing in March, but the Kleins could owe the lesbian couple up to $150,000. Bureau spokesman Charlie Burr said in a statement that although Oregon law provides an exemption for religious institutions, it “does not allow private businesses to discriminate based on sexual orientation, just as they cannot legally deny service based on race, sex, age, disability, or religion.” The Kleins have shuttered their storefront but continue to take online orders while steadfastly refusing service to couples of their choosing.The biblical quote “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord,” can be seen on the bakery’s Facebook page
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When Kate Brown succeeded John Kitzhaber as governor of Oregon in February, she became the first openly bisexual governor in the country. Kitzhaber had won an unprecedented fourth term in November, but persistent accusations of corruption forced him to resign. By law, Brown, who was secretary of state, became governor. She is married to a man but had disclosed to several LGBT sources, includingOutHistory.org, that she is bisexual. Ellyn Ruthstrom of the Bisexual Resource Center commented that they have been following Brown’s progress because “there are so few bi political leaders” and the bi community continues to struggle to establish its place in the broader civil rights campaign. Brown had previously practiced juvenile and family law, and then served in the state’s house and senate for 18 years, taking firm stances on finance reform as well as LGBT rights.
Options | March 2015
Federal Judge Orders Alabama Officials to Stop Denying Marriage to LGBT Couples
District Judge Callie Granade found Alabama’s same-sex marriage ban unconstitutional in January, making Alabama the 37th state to legalize gay marriage. Dozens of Alabama judges defied the district court’s decision, largely reacting to instructions from Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore, who sent an order to the state’s probate judges not to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Randall Marshall, the legal director for the American Civil Liberties Union of Alabama, said, “We hope state and local officials will recognize that their first obligation is to comply with our federal Constitution and will move quickly to follow the court’s ruling so that all couples in Alabama will be able to share in the dignity and protection that marriage provides.”
Sam Smith Wins Song of the Year at the Grammys
At the Grammys last month, Sam Smith, an openly gay vocalist, won the coveted Song of the Year award for his heartfelt ballad, “Stay with Me.” Smith also took home the Grammy for the Best New Artist of 2015 as well as Best Pop Vocal Album for “In the Lonely Hour.” Smith began his meteoric rise to household name status in October of 2012 when he was featured on Disclosure’s breakthrough single “Latch,” which peaked at number eleven on the UK Singles Chart. His subsequent feature on Naughty Boy’s “La La La” earned him his first number one single in May 2013. In December 2013, he was nominated for the 2014 Brit Critics’ Choice Award and the BBC’s Sound of 2014 poll, both of which he won.
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Ask
Paula
by Paula Smith
Dear Paula,
I am a trans male. I was seeing a therapist who seemed really nice. I didn’t have anyone else in my life. He coerced me into having a sexual relationship with him that lasted two years. I’m now confused about my sexuality because he told me that I liked men, even though I didn’t feel like I did. I haven’t felt attracted to women since, and I feel gross when I’m attracted to men. Also, I started testosterone treatments and I heard that can make you gay. I would just feel better if I understood why I feel this way but I’m no longer comfortable seeing a therapist. Do you think it might go away? Dear Scared and Confused, Studies show some trans men may find that their sexual feelings and attractions shift after star ting testosterone treatment, while others may not. Some trans males also find that their attractions shift from women to men or vice versa pre- and/or post-testosterone. Human sexuality is a complex subject, and FTM transsexuals are no different in this respect. Testosterone is a powerful hormone, but does not determine sexual preference, likes, dislikes, personality, or intelligence. Concerns about identity and loyalty can also compound this issue, par ticularly if you have roots in the lesbian or bisexual community. A therapist coercing a client into a sexual relationship is abuse--period! It is against all ethical codes and is deeply damaging to the client. I’m sorr y you had to go through this. I recommend that you repor t this therapist to the appropriate professional board e.g., the National Association of Social Workers or the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. The repor ting process is confidential. I suspect you’re not the first person to be sexually abused by this therapist. On the other hand, a lot of therapists are well-intentioned but not all are trained, comfor table or culturally sensitive enough to work with the LGBTQ population. Their lack of skill and discomfor t brings up fear, which can be reinforced by a deep-rooted (unconscious) homophobia. There are some who also believe (like your previous therapist) that those living an alternative lifestyle simply need a “good lay” to make them straight. Terminating your relationship with that therapist was a crucial and impor tant step.
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- Scared and Confused You should also know that transitioning is a mentalphysical-emotional-social process that involves a gradual discover y of what it means to be seen as male, what people’s expectations are of someone perceived as male and how you can engage to keep feeling pleasurably male. It sounds like the sexual abuse you suffered has complicated this already vulnerable process, causing you to question yourself. It makes complete sense that you now feel confused and scared. But remember : No one can tell you who you are or what you do and don’t like. This has to do with your values and integrity, which you will come to know through time, experience, and reflection. You do not need to have all the answers right now. Rather, your focus should be on caring for and nur turing yourself to rebuild trust in the most suppor tive and affirming way possible. It is ver y impor tant that you find and reach out to people who can help you reconnect with a positive sense of self. Reaching out with your question was a great first step. q Paula M. Smith, M.Div., MFT, is a Har vard graduate; certified IMAGO therapist; marriage, family, and child therapist; ordained interfaith chaplain; former adjunct faculty member at Har vard Divinity School; and published writer. Paula lives in Providence with her wife Yael. She has an office-based and online therapy and coaching practice where she works with individuals and couples locally and internationally.
Write to Paula with your questions at askpaula@optionsri.org.
Options | March 2015
Options | March 2015
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Raising Consciousness and Funds
A Concert to Benefit
Thea Shaheen
by Ryan Marnane
The air smells of recycled sawdust and I’m sitting on an otherwise empty couch upstairs at The Columbus Theatre, drinking this delicious Revival Double Black-IPA wondering if and when I’ll have to take a bathroom break in the near future while typing these first few lines of my experience of this fundraiser in honor of Thea Shaheen, the Providence local who made national news for being approved by Blue Cross Blue Shield of RI, then rejected, and eventually re-approved for her genderaffirmation surger y this winter. For now, the question of when I’ll have to use
Mayor Elorza
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the bathroom is deeply pressing and carries much grander implications than one might initially assume.
I’m mulling over this bathroom impar tiality while sitting across from the restrooms, obser ving couples release locked hands to par t ways and decide which multiple-stall genderneutral bathroom they’ll utilize for their own pressing matters. You can easily tell who the regulars of the Columbus Theater are by the way they effor tlessly overlook the blatant 8.5”x 11” papers marked “GENDER NEUTRAL” taped over the branded “MEN” and “WOMEN” fixtures for this evening’s event. Whether gay or straight, those of us who identify as cisgender must remember that transgender individuals cannot avoid the tensions between differences of the self. Ever yday practices that we do but don’t seem to notice that we’re doing become the grazing grounds of difficulties for transgender individuals to navigate. One simple yet jarring example for transgender individuals: daily public bathroom visits. Can a woman with male genitals easily, without concern of sexism or genderism or what-haveyou-ism, walk into a male restroom? How about at a Patriots game? Or how would a man born without a penis decide between the men’s or women’s locker room at the gym? What about the showers? Understanding and even
acknowledging these challenges can be difficult for cisgender individuals. So here’s the stor y: Thea Shaheen is a transgender woman whose gender-affirmation surger y was initially approved by Blue Cross Blue Shield of RI. Thea researched her options, settled on a surgeon in California, arranged for travel, and booked accommodations to include recover y time. But days before leaving she found out the coverage for her surger y was now being denied. Not knowing what to do, and hoping things would work out, Thea traveled to California. But the decision to deny coverage stood. Upon hearing his friend’s stor y, Jeff Pr ystowsky, the bassist from the nationally-known Providence band The Low Anthem, took action and planned this concer t to raise funds for Thea’s surger y while raising awareness about her unfair treatment. Jeff promoted well. After countless emails addressed to “Friends of the Transgender Community” and phone calls to local LGBTQ organizations, he connected with Bobby Rodriguez, Chief Diversity officer at Blue Cross Blue Shield of RI. Rodriguez listened to Thea’s stor y and did some digging. Blue Cross ultimately granted the coverage, citing human error as the cause for the reversal. Victor y at last! It was decided the show would go on to help Thea recoup her aforementioned travel expenses and to continue to raise awareness about
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those in attendance, Jeff could be seen approaching the stage saying, “Remind them to sign the petition!” And, in a slow retreat back adds, “and the mailing list, too.”
Jeff Prystowsky
People like Jeff, individuals who build bridges across communities toward social justice, are precisely the beings whom all underrepresented, marginalized minority populations ought to both applaud and suppor t. It’s wor th mentioning that this Westside-of-Providence audience was not your typical Pride event crowd nor comprised of Dark Lady regulars. Jeff is an ally to not only the LBGTQ community, but more impor tantly an ally to community itself. It is community that this stor y applauds and a fur therinclusive queer community this stor y intends to promote. challenges transgender individuals face. During Jeff ’s introduction to Thea, before the show in which they both performed, he recounted the rollercoaster of events regarding her surger y. Jeff notes, “Thea called, explaining the situation…and all I could think of was, well, ‘That’s life,’ ” adding, “I felt helpless.” Jeff acted upon his feeling and called to arms his local community members to suppor t the cause because, well, it was simply the right thing to do. “We won’t stand for the maxim that ‘sometimes bad things happen to good people,’ ” Jeff noted in his brief speech. “We knew we had to make a change. It’s not
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over…because there are more people like [Thea] in this city and this state.” For tunately for all of us, there are more Jeff ’s too. My first encounter with Jeff was upon arrival, alongside the ticket booth where the “Petition for Transgender Healthcare Coverage for all State Employees” and emailing list sheets were located. Jeff approached his colleague, quite flustered yet clearly enthusiastic for the night ahead, asking, “More signatures—has anyone else signed the petition!? Make sure people sign the petition.” Even as Thea was ending her speech of sincere thanks for
Providence Mayor Jorge Elorza attended the benefit and was invited onstage to lend a few suppor tive words, and he exchanged a hug with Thea before leaving the stage. When asked for a quote Elorza said, “In addition to appointing the first trans-identified person to the Human Relations Commission, my administration looks forward to continuing to suppor t the LGBTQ community and announcing steps toward making Providence a city that works for ever yone, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, or expression.” q
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When the month of February rolls around, everyone is reminded of two things: winter is still here and Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. This couldn’t have been more true this year as little Rhody hunkered down and was slapped with three major snowstorms. The only upside of the snowstorms? Being snowed in with the one you love! Snow-covered streets and sidewalks couldn’t stop die-hard Indigo Girls fans as they flocked to their performance with the RI Philharmonic Orchestra at the Providence Performing Arts Center (PPAC) on February 13. It was an amazing and unique experience to hear the combination of folk music and classical music together. This legendary duo has been performing together for over 25 years and didn’t disappoint with their beautiful harmonies. I got chills when the first song started. Francisco Noya, conductor for the Rhode Island Philharmonic Orchestra was a commanding presence. A highlight of the night was “Galileo.” This song brought us back to the 1990’s, reminiscent of a time when music festivals like Lilith Fair were all the rage. And to stand in the historic PPAC, look around, and see everyone on their feet singing along to “Closer to Fine” as the night came to a close was a truly magical experience. With a few exceptions in our 14 years together, our traditional Valentine’s Day routine has been to sit by our fireplace, order a Fellini’s pizza, and open a bottle of wine. This year we celebrated along with Melanie’s cousin Jaime and her girlfriend Leslie by going out to dinner at Elisabeth of Portofino Restaurant in Warwick on the evening before Valentine’s, as we knew Valentine’s night would be spent attending the RI Pride Gay Prom: Glitter in the Air at Aurora in Providence. Unfortunately, due to the snowstorm that blanketed the state, we were not able to make it there. In spite of the snow, we heard it was an incredible night. Make sure you check out the pictures from the event. The
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volunteers who dedicated their time to make it a memorable night did an amazing job with decorations. We take our annual “wine weekend” in Ogunquit, Maine at the end of February at our favorite B&B, The Gazebo Inn Ogunquit. Scott and Bruce, the innkeepers, make each guest feel like family. We reunite each February with five couples we met on our very first wine weekend at the Inn years ago. The weekend is full of friendship, laughter, silly board games, antique shopping, and wine, of course. Many of the stores and restaurants are closed for the season but it is a winter wonderland and you feel as though you’re living in a snow globe. We highly recommend you take a drive to Ogunquit and enjoy the peace and serenity and some quality alone time with the one you love. q
The Indigo Girls Options | March 2015
by Bradford Greer
the finer arts of playing well with another. Workshops and lectures addressed subjects like: Exploring the World of BDSM, Protecting Your Boundaries Effectively and Gracefully, Discover Your Inner Minx, Tops are from Mars/Bottoms are from Venus, Beyond 50 Shades: the Realities of Power Exchange, and Bare as You Dare: Radical Body Acceptance. Much attention was paid to the safe and creative use of pleasurable instruments, implements, and various toys at the disposal for the sexually adventurous. How to employ stimulation as mild as tickling to as wild as—well, use your imagination—for the pleasure and The Fleamarket boasted some pain/pleasure of your consensual 85 vendors selling everything partner, lover or spouse was a man or woman could wish a hot topic. At this event, homosexuals, for in a sensual and sexual heterosexuals, bisexuals, transsexuals, experience of any predilection. pansexuals, anysexuals and Some 50 presenters spent an everysexuals mixed and mingled educational weekend tutoring Fetish Fair Fleamarket 44 blew into the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Warwick just ahead of a winter storm that did little to dissuade the hundreds of participants who flocked to the exotic event from all over New England. The program guide for the weekend clearly laid out the behavioral expectations: privacy and respect for all participants, no unauthorized photography, encouraged use of gender neutral pronouns, ways to keep the flea welcoming and accessible for those who are disabled, respectful hotel behavior, no public nudity, and play and shop responsibly.
with a friendly demeanor that blurred lines and defied labeling (except for the restrooms which were clearly labeled “gender neutral”). “Regardless of what restroom you are in, please let everyone use the restroom in peace.” The Fetish Fair Fleamarket is produced by the New England Leather Alliance which is a 501(c) (3) nonprofit organization. It is dedicated to making a safe place in the world for all leather/fetish/ BDSM people through education, advocacy and charitable giving. This crowd was a feast for the eyes: each proudly expressing their individuality in an elegant and judgment-free space. The atmosphere at this event crackled with the demonstration of a whip, the buzz of conversation and laughter, the smack of a paddle, and the swipe of credit cards. q
Nominated Best Erotic Boutique in U.S., AVN Awards 2012
Mister Sister Erotica CelebraTing 6 YearS!
More Toys than the Devil has Sinners Mon 12pm-8pm, Tues-Thur 11-9 Fri-Sat 11-10, Sun 12-8
Order Online: mistersistertoys.com 268 Wickenden Street, Providence • 421- 6969
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by Gus Manocchia, MD, Chief Medical Officer at Blue Cross & Blue Shield of Rhode Island
Studies show that LGBT Americans are more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. If you are working through either of these afflictions, you may also suffer from insomnia—a common side effect. If you have trouble falling asleep at night, take comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone. According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, roughly 60 million Americans a year have insomnia frequently or for extended periods of time. Overcoming insomnia isn’t always easy, but it is important to your health to try getting back on a regular sleep schedule. While you are sleeping, your brain recharges its batteries, your body releases necessary hormones that regulate growth and appetite, and your cells repair themselves. Sleep is a nightly process of healing that is critical to staying in good health. Research suggests that too little sleep can contribute to obesity, memory problems, and even heart disease or stroke. If you find it difficult to achieve true restfulness, try these tips for a better night’s sleep: • Create a regular relaxation routine before bed: a warm bath, soothing music, scented candles, or a book and a cup of decaf herbal tea help train your body to wind down. • Ditch the electronics. The backlight and sounds from your cell phone or laptop can inhibit your sleep. Rely on your phone to wake you up in the morning? Buy an alarm clock and keep your electronics in another room. • Create a comfortable sleep environment. Your bedroom should be a place for sleep, not work or studying. Keep your bedroom calm, cool, and quiet. Your body temperature rises as you sleep, so keep the thermostat low enough to avoid overheating. • Exercise regularly. One of the most-cited benefits of exercise is its positive effects on sleep. Get your heart pumping each day by walking, running, biking, or swimming and your sleep will improve, although not too close to bedtime. • Keep a consistent sleep and wake schedule. As difficult as it may be on lazy Sunday mornings, try to wake up at the same time each day of the week. And bedtimes aren’t just for your kids—pick a time to be in bed each night and try to stick to it.
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• Stay away from the caffeine four to six hours before you go to bed. Caffeine can have an effect on your system long after you drink it. Stick to caffeine-free herbal tea or decaf coffee in the evenings. • Avoid food and alcohol as your bedtime approaches. Your body rests better when it doesn’t have the “work” of digesting food or processing alcohol. Don’t eat dinner too close to sleep, and moderate your drinking. • Nap—but not too long. Naps can be a savior to many to get through the day, but beware of napping for too much time. A 10 or 20 minute nap in the afternoon can recharge you for the rest of the day, and won’t keep you up all night. Above all else, if you find that racing thoughts, dread, or fears are keeping you awake, you may benefit greatly from talking with a mental health provider. He or she can provide treatment for the underlying depression or anxiety that is preventing you from getting the rest you need. Sleep is important to the body and mind—and you deserve to have the full benefits of a good night’s rest. Don’t hesitate to talk with someone if sleep problems are affecting your quality of life. q
Options | March 2015
The Rhode Island Women’s Association
Shamrock
Dance by Lorraine Nye
Irish eyes will be smiling at the Rhode Island Women’s Association (RIWA) Shamrock Dance, our season-opening event on March 7 at 7pm. Ladies, plan to immerse yourself in the Irish offerings at the Letter Carrier’s Hall located at 174 Mayfield Street in Cranston. Music, dancing, and food are always exciting features of a RIWA dance. All who identify as women are welcome to celebrate, wear a bit of green, and sport a shamrock, which according to some makes us speedy and strong. The Irish potluck will be served at 7:30pm and RIWA members will cook up some corned beef and cabbage, among
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other foods. Bring whatever you would like to add—something healthy, or sweet, or even shepherd’s pie or an Irish stew. If you want a sip of Irish whiskey or a gulp of Irish Ale, then pack it up and bring it with you since RIWA dances are always BYOB events. This is the first of six dances scheduled for 2015, so why not become a member for the best deal in town? Membership is $25 for all six 2015 dances. That comes to only $4.17 to attend each dance. How can you beat that? If you don’t want to become a member, here’s the second best deal in town: Pay a ten-dollar admission fee for any
individual dance and you’re in the door to enjoy a fun evening with friends and new faces complete with our popular DJ Sharon. Bonus: Become a RIWA member and receive a beaded shamrock necklace.Attend as a guest and pick up a mini-shamrock smiley-face button. RIWA just wants you to know we appreciate your support. All money received goes right back to you by providing a fun and happy dance event. Our committee of little leprechauns is looking forward to seeing you there. Membership applications will be available at the dance or you can contact Lorraine at lor3650@ aol.com. q
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OUT
Pride Prom: Glitter in the Air - 2.14.15 Photos by Jess Wrubel
On the Town 20
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I m p e r i a l C o u r t o f R I P re s e n t s :
Coronation by Emperor XVIII Austen Daniels and Empress XVIII Jacqueline DiMera With the International Court System (ICS) marking its 50th anniversary this year, the Imperial Court of Rhode Island at Providence joins in the Golden Jubilee celebrations with Coronation XXIII: The Glamourous Life - A Retrospective Look at Fashion taking place the weekend of April 17-19.
Jose the Widow Norton
Founded in 1992 by Lee Daniels, BB Hayes, W. Fitzgerald Himmelsbach, and Ralph Martino, the Imperial Court of Rhode Island performs noble deeds with its own style of pomp and circumstance in Rhode Island and Southeastern Massachusetts. Since its inception, the court has raised over $750,000 directly benefitting local organizations, including PFLAG, AIDS Care Ocean State, Rhode Island Pride, Sojourner House, Youth Pride Inc., and the Providence Journal Summertime Fund. Coronation XXIII: The Glamourous Life A Retrospective Look at Fashion (April 18) promises to be a spectacle of glamour, jewelry, and over-the-top couture, and also celebrates the reign of current monarchs Emperor XXII Ryder Hard and Empress XXII Jealousy Jonz. It will also serve as the official election of the Court’s next monarch. Angela SopranoButana, a former Miss Gay Rhode Island and current Imperial Crown Princess, is the sole candidate for Empress XXIII. In addition to the special guests and performers from across the United States, Canada, and Mexico, the Imperial Court of Rhode Island will also celebrate the anniversaries of former monarchs including: • 5th Anniversary of Emperor XVIII “Big Daddy” Austen Daniels & Empress XVIII Jacqueline DiMera
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• 10th Anniversary of Emperor XIII Earl Taylor & Empress XIII Vi’let • 15th Anniversary of Emperor VIII Michael Duarte Sousa & Empress VIII Candy Wills duBarry • 20th Anniversary of Emperor III Stephen Hartley aka Miss Kitty Litter The Imperial Court of Rhode Island is excited to announce the Honorary Co-Chair for Coronation XXIII: Michelle Kwan. Ms. Kwan is a two-time Michelle Kwan Olympic medalist, a five-time World Champion and a nine-time U.S. Champion figure skater. Currently, Ms. Kwan serves as a senior adviser of Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs in the U.S. State Department. She is married to Clay Pell, a recent Democratic candidate for Governor of Rhode Island.
Foundation, and the Harvey Milk Foundation. Their combined efforts help feed the hungry, keep people warm, fight HIV/AIDS, spread holiday cheer, comfort seniors, register voters, support our gay brothers and sisters in the military, and fight for our equality. A recent achievement is the successful campaign for a Harvey Milk U.S. postage stamp. The origin of the Imperial Court System stems from a group of San Francisco gay bar owners who formed The Tavern Guild in early 1965 as a means to stand in solidarity with one another under the pressure of police harassment. The Guild put on the first large public drag ball in San Francisco’s history called the Beaux Arts Ball. In its third year, José Julio Sarria was declared the Queen of the Ball, and then declared himself Empress. With that declaration, the Imperial Court System was born.
The reigning monarchs, Emperor XXII Ryder Hard and Empress XXII Jealousy Jonz, have also selected AIDS Care Ocean State and A.I.D.S., Inc. of New Bedford, MA as the beneficiaries of these Coronation XXIII weekend events: • Friday, April 17, Out-of-Town Show featuring performances from out-of-town Court members, The Dark Lady, 17 Snow Street, Providence, 7pm-10pm, $10. • Saturday, April 18, Coronation XXIII Ball, Providence Biltmore Grand Ballroom, 11 Dorrance Street, Providence, 5:30pm cocktails, 7pm dinner, $100. • Sunday, April 19, Victory Brunch, Providence Biltmore Grand Ballroom, 11 Dorrance Street, Providence, 10:30am, $35. The International Court System is one of the most exciting and diverse LGBTQ organizations on this continent. Its members utilize their unique talents to raise funds and awareness, educate and teach, and help fulfill the needs of their communities. The ICS has grown across the country and over the borders, building up to 70 active chapters in North America, and has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for worthy causes, including the Tijuana AIDS Project, breast cancer organizations, the Matthew Shepard
Empress Jealousy Jonz & Emperor Ryder Hard
The ICS officially kicked off its Golden Jubilee year in February at the Imperial Court of San Francisco’s 50th Coronation Ball, which included a gala celebration held under the Rotunda in San Francisco City Hall. Events marking the 50th anniversary will be held across North America leading up to the Golden Jubilee Imperial State Dinner to be held in Portland, Oregon in October. For more info, visit www.icriprov.org, www.impcourt.org, or www.ics50.org. q
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don’t grow up invisible
Youth Pride Inc. by Jeana DeLaire
At Youth Pride Inc., we rely heavily on our amazing volunteers, board members, and donors to help meet our mission to provide suppor t, empowerment, and education to LGBTQQ youth in Rhode Island. This month, we recognize Julia Barber, one of our most active volunteers at YPI. Julia has been a dedicated volunteer since her first visit in November of 2013. From baking up delicious sweets to preparing impressive weekly dinners, her work with us has been truly integral to our community. Julia is currently pursuing her PhD in Ar t Histor y at Brown University and works in provenance research at the RISD Museum. She comes to us with a wide array of past volunteer experience and even finds it difficult to pinpoint when volunteering became a consistent par t of her life. She attributes this to her parents, who took her along on various volunteer excursions throughout her childhood. One memorable experience among many included assisting her father in caring for peregrine falcons on rooftops in Baltimore when she was between the ages of five and six. Later on in her youth, Julia even performed with an all-girls opera group in assisted living centers. When I asked Julia why she originally chose YPI as one of her main volunteer projects, she quickly answered, “I never had a place like YPI. When I found out it existed I was sold.” In fact, Julia discovered our organization through her own research when she specifically sought out oppor tunities to work with LGBTQQ youth. She is responsible for preparing our weekly Wednesday night dinners, a long-time tradition of the organization. Many of our youth repor t that they do not regularly sit down to a meal with family members at home. YPI’s Wednesday
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Julia Barber
night dinners are a great way for youth, staff, and volunteers to connect with one another while providing a healthful, hear ty meal. I asked Julia to discuss what motivates her to return week after week in the midst of her busy schedule. She said, “Cooking is a fundamental way to nourish people. Especially in this par ticular community, being able to feed the youth and be there ever y Wednesday is an incredible gift for me. It’s the best par t of my week, ever y week.” q Youth Pride Inc. provides support, education, and advocacy for LGBTQQ young people ages 13-23. Our Drop-in Center is at 473 Westminster Street, Providence, RI 02903. Visit www.youthprideri.org, emailinfo@youthprideri.org, or call (401) 421-5626 for more info.
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Transgender Attendees
Ride the Wave at
First Event
In its 35th year, First Event is one of the oldest and largest conferences for transgender people in the country. The theme for this year’s conference was “Ride the Wave.” It felt more like a tsunami; with over 800 people registered, the conference had to move to a space twice as large as last year. It was held at the Westin Hotel in Waltham, Massachusetts from January 21-25. Thursday was our “day of beauty” and yours truly got a well-needed eyebrow wax and manicure that had me feeling my best. Our evening spent at Club Café` in downtown Boston was truly memorable, as the fabulous Peter Mac interpreted Judy Garland and John DJ Schaeffer performed as Bea Arthur. Community Service Awards were presented to John Warrener, who has for over 20 years helped thousands find the right look as they begin their transition, and Jennifer Levi, a civil rights pioneer and the director of GLAD’s Transgender Rights Project. Friday and Saturday offered approximately 150 workshops. Many legal issues were addressed: divorce, work-related rights, negotiating the process of being pulled over for simple traffic violations, disability, and guaranteed services despite gender identity. Some workshops outlined insurance provisions for transgender
Dominique and Lida
by Dominique Pistone for TGI Network
care and how to negotiate the maze of regulations.
Surgeons offered workshops on the procedures of female feminization surgery, sexual reassignment surgery, breast augmentation, body contouring, female to male chest surgery, and male genital reconstruction. I was truly happy to learn detailed explanations of cross hormone therapy. Expert endocrinologists discussed dosage, delivery systems, and how to manage side effects. These providers were not only highly skilled but extremely generous with their time. Many of my friends are transitioning to an exterior expression that matches their internal identity, so it was encouraging to experience the willingness of providers to answer questions on a wide range of topics. This year’s conference featured one of the largest offerings of workshops for transgender youth and their families ever seen in any conference of its type. The workshops for mothers, fathers, teens, young adults, and young students in elementary and middle school were thorough and informative. On the other end of the age spectrum, I had the pleasure of seeing my dear friend Grace Stevens at her book signing for No, Maybe, Yes. This intimate account of a transwoman who transitioned at age 62 was inspirational and fascinating. The book gives you a detailed, intimate look into the thoughts that transpire as we go through this process. Friday night’s exhilarating fashion show had about 35 models walking the runway before an audience of over 350 people. I got to display three outfits, the final one being a bridesmaid dress within a wedding party that included a transwoman bride, a transman groom, and another bridesmaid. We were a beautifully dazzling display, proudly demonstrating a unique sense of style.
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The speaker for Saturday evening’s dinner was Dr. Wayne M. Maines who told his story of being a father to a pair of beautiful identical twins—a son and Options | March 2015
a daughter named Nicole who is transgender. He spoke honestly about his own journey through denial, reluctance, acceptance, and celebration of his daughter, which brought many in the crowd of 500 to tears. He struggled to have his daughter treated with dignity in the Maine public schools. Fighting a targeted attack from conservative groups, Dr. Maines and his daughter prevailed in Maine’s highest court. Their triumph was for the basic right to use the restroom of the gender of one’s expression, but this was so much more than civil rights. This was a window into a life you would wish for any trangender child. It was so moving to witness Nicole as she stood up and simply said, “I love my father.” To be loved, to be celebrated, and to have your parents’ undying support is what makes any child thrive, but for young people who struggle with gender identity it can be like gasping for oxygen. Following the dinner we let loose on the dance floor to Dale Lepage and the Manhattans’ combination of jazz and old time swing with a modern twist. It was especially gratifying after recognizing all there is to celebrate these days. What can you say about such an experience? First Event responds well to the ever-changing needs of our community. It goes beyond information, socializing, and specialized vendor products. At First Event, people get to be themselves. We don’t care if your gender expression is once a year, full-time, fluid, or anywhere in between. For that brief moment we get to see how life can be if we only have the courage to make it so. It is my fervent Thank you to the patrons of The Stable for choosing us as the BEST GAY BAR for the 4th year in a row!
hope that we can turn these four days into a year-round experience where we see people without expectation. In the acceptance and celebration of our diversity we become the people we always hoped to be. q TGI Network of Rhode Island is the only statewide organization providing support, advocacy, and education for the transgender, gender-variant, and intersex community (aka trans* community). Incorporated in 2011, our mission is to be a resource for TGI people navigating their lives and the medical and legal systems; to serve as a resource for professionals working with TGI people; and to serve as a liaison between the TGI and LGB communities and the community at large. Visit us at www.tginetwork.org.
Welcoming LGBT professionals and their friends
Come down and experience what everyone is raving about. A membership organization focused on:
TheStableProvidence
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125 Washington Street • Providence
• Shared Member Contact Information • Professional Networking • Philanthropic Causes • Member Benefits
For more information, please contact: Phil Laffey at 401-727-4100, visit RI AGP on Facebook or email us at info@riagp.com
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News from SAGE-RI by Cathy S. Cranston
to assess the feasibility and mutual value of working together.
SAGE Members Brave the Elements to Attend “Make It or Break It” Strategy Session On a Saturday morning, heavy, wet snow and tumbling temperatures did not deter a hearty group of “SAGErs” and other community thought leaders from a January 24 brunch featuring a presentation on the challenges and opportunities confronting SAGE. According to SAGE Co-Chairperson Marguerite McLaughlin, “The demand for SAGE services has begun to outpace our capacity to deliver. Our long standing model as a solely volunteer-operated organization is no longer viable as increasing numbers of older adults, caregivers, service providers, and other organizations look to us as the aging LGBT subject matter experts.” SAGE Interim Executive Director Cathy Cranston added “more funding sources are requiring that the programs they invest in be evidence– based, modeled on best practices, and have meaningful impact and the capacity to measure results--tasks not easily accomplished in the volunteer organization model.” Cranston also stated, “SAGE USA has issued thirty nine benchmarks that local organizations must meet in order to remain a SAGE affiliate, adding a layer of urgency for SAGE Rhode Island to make the necessary adaptive changes.” One requirement for SAGE USA affiliation is that small stand-alone organizations like SAGE-RI partner with a larger, better-resourced parent organization with a similar mission and a strong infrastructure. SAGE-RI has been meeting with a variety of groups
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At the brunch, SAGE members discussed strategies for increasing capacity and meeting the new standards, shared suggestions for appropriate partner agencies, stepped up by offering to use their personal connections and social capital to make initial contacts or sponsor introductory meetings with potential parent organizations. Most importantly, long time SAGE Program Coordinator Sally Hay said, “Attendees reaffirmed their commitment to SAGE and made clear that they want to preserve the brand identity, consumer focus, and the valuable volunteer resource that has served SAGE well over the last seventeen years, contributing in large measure to its success and trusted reputation.” Look to this column and the SAGE Facebook page to keep updated and informed as SAGE reinvents itself. Let’s Do Lunch Mark your calendar for noon on March 27 for the grand opening of the LGBT Cafe. The LGBT @ Friendship Café will offer LGBT individuals and their allies, age 60 or older, a hot, nutritious meal served in a friendly, centrally located environment. In addition to “good eats” the Café is the place to socialize with friends and make new ones, enjoy entertainment provided this month by highly acclaimed vocalist Mary Day, learn about nutrition, and get information about the array of senior services available throughout the state. For a suggested voluntary donation of $3 you will enjoy: vegetable soup, fish and chips, cole slaw, watermelon with whipped cream, milk and other beverages. Reservations are required. Call Pauline at 351-6700 to secure your spot. The Friendship Café is located at 500 Broad Street in Providence. The LGBT Café is funded in part
with federal and state funds distributed through the Rhode Island Department of Elderly Affairs and is a collaboration among that department, Meals on Wheels of Rhode Island, and SAGE-RI. Put a Little Silver in Your Rainbow Mark your calendar for Saturday evening April 18th 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm and join SAGE-RI for an elegant evening of art, drinks, dessert, and dancing. The event is being held at the unique and historic Warwick Museum of Art on Post Road in Warwick. It will feature high end desserts, champagne, wines and a variety of soft drinks, and a silent auction of beautiful works of art from local artisans such as Michael Guy, Richard Muto, Thea Ernest, Felt Sutra, and many more. DJ Michael Norday will spin the tunes we grew up and grew old on as attendees take to the dance floor to bust a move for SAGE. Tickets are $50 per person and only 100 will be available. Please send your check to the SAGE office today (235 Promenade Street, Suite 500, Box 18, Providence, RI 02908) to ensure that you will not be left out of this fabulous event. SAGE Launches New Logo In keeping with the SAGE USA focus on creating brand identity and building a visible and nationwide presence of the SAGE state affiliates around the country, you’ll notice that SAGE-RI has created a new logo, and we will be rolling it out over the coming weeks.q SAGE-RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders) addresses issues of concern to LGBT elders and is an organization of diverse people of all ages. For information on programs or to join SAGE-RI, drop us a line at sageriinfo@gmail.com; leave us a message at (401) 528-3259; write to us at 235 Promenade St., Suite 500, Box 18, Providence, RI 02908; or find us on Facebook as SAGE-Rhode Island. Options | March 2015
Encore, encore! by Christopher Dalpe for AIDS Care Ocean State
There were over 95 confirmed drug overdose deaths in Rhode Island in the year 2014. According to the Rhode Island Department of Health, many of the 2014 overdoses involved the opioid combination of fentanyl and heroin. AIDS Care Ocean State’s (ACOS) prevention team is working diligently to equip our community with the tools necessary to find support, receive resources, and prevent future deaths due to overdose. Naloxone, commonly known as Narcan, is an intramuscular injection used to treat opioid drug overdoses. Naloxone is a safe and non-abusive drug that can be used for only one purpose: to combat the effects of opioids on the brain in order to prevent death from overdose. The RI Department of Health says emergency medical personnel administered over 932 doses of the emergency antidote for opioid drug overdose in 2014.
ACOS prevention staff has been working alongside PONI (Preventing Overdose and Naloxone Intervention) to get this lifesaving medicine into the hands of those who need it most. Narcan is currently available free at the ACOS Prevention Center through our ENCORE program (557 Broad Street, Providence) on Tuesdays from 6pm-8pm. In addition to receiving two vials of Narcan, individuals who access this service will leave the center with information explaining how to recognize an overdose, how to perform proper rescue breathing, and how to administer Narcan. Our doors are open to everyone, whether you’re currently using opioids or know someone who is. The ACOS Prevention Center is home to Rhode Island’s only needle exchange program called ENCORE (Education, Needle Exchange, Counseling, Outreach, and Referrals). ENCORE’s goal is to reduce the risk of HIV transmission among injection drug users. We serve a wide range of clients at risk of overdosing through our many platforms which include on-site exchange, street outreach, and a home delivery system across Rhode Island. ENCORE is in a unique position to serve atrisk individuals who may not otherwise come in for overdose prevention services. Additionally, ENCORE offers counseling and referrals to substance abuse treatment and medical care facilities. To learn more about ENCORE and other ACOS programs and services please visit us online at aidscareos.org. q AIDS Care Ocean State provides comprehensive AIDS service, supportive housing, emergency funds, and a Speakers Bureau. Located at 18 Parkis Avenue, Providence. (401) 521-3603. Appointments: (401) 781-0665. www.aidscareoceanstate.org.
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TOWN HALL LANES 1463 Atwood Avenue, Johnston 831-6940
www.bgalbowling.com www.townhalllanes.com Home of Big Gay Al’s Bowling League!
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RI PR I DE
A Valentine’s snowstorm couldn’t dampen the spirits of our volunteers and those members of our community who ventured out for the first annual Pride Prom: Glitter in the Air. Many thanks to Aurora Providence for hosting, to High Output for their lighting donation and suppor t, to Stop & Shop for floral donations, and to South Coast Catering and the Melting Pot Providence for their tasty food donations. Linda LaFontaine was crowned Prom Queen alongside Prom King Cannon Taylor. All the natural glitter in the air outside ended up being the perfect backdrop for a great evening of fun for our LGBTQ community. We all are looking forward to next year’s Prom with hopes for better weather. The 16th Annual Rhode Island Pride Goddess Show is Sunday, March 8 at 1pm at Olive’s in Providence. Headliner Xelle, Carrie Ashton, Mya Byrne, and Heather Rose in Clover will perform their original music. Spectacular locals such as dancer Kristen Minsky, burlesque ar tist Bettysioux Tailor, and poet Marie Michaelle round out the enter tainment with their unique acts. Massachusetts comics Elana Jawits and host Ellen Moschetto are sure to bring laughter to a crowd that’s ready to let loose and thaw out. Get your table reser vations and advanced tickets priced at $20 at www.prideri.com or purchase them at the door for $25. The Triple Crown Pageant is coming up on April 12 at the Colosseum. Contestants are encouraged to apply for the traditional titles of Mr. Gay, Ms. Lesbian, or Miss Gay, or check off the “other” categor y while we explore adding or adjusting the titles to be more inclusive of all members represented in our Pride community. This year’s theme, Under the Big Top, is
by Kurt Bagley
sure to be a hit. Apply to run or purchase your tickets at www.prideri.com and click on the pageant image. Limited VIP areas and assigned tables are available. Floor seating is first come, first ser ve the night of. Volunteer with us and join our Pride family! Come to our monthly Open House or an Events Committee meeting so you can get to know us and we can get to know you. We are especially looking for people to join our Enter tainment, Parade, and Countdown to Pride Committees, but there are oppor tunities for ever y skill, talent and desire. We recently filled an officer vacancy on our Board of Directors and would like to announce the appointment of Kr ystle Baxter as our Treasurer. The remaining officers are: Kur t Bagley, President; Adam Good, Vice President; and Tammy Pita, Secretar y. New directors are Kristina Fox and Rich Hite, who join returning directors James Todd and William Tregaskis. The Board recently accepted the resignation of Anthony DeRose who is moving into his new role as Heir Apparent with the International Cour t System, though he remains committed to Pride as our Triple Crown Pageant director. There are still three vacancies on the Board; suppor t is sought from individuals with backgrounds and experience in legal, development/ financial, graphic design, event planning, and social media arenas. Email kur t.bagley@prideri.com if you have any interest in learning more about joining the Pride Board.q
Rhode Island Pride is a 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to promoting the visibility, equality, and diversity of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community, and provides safe space to come out, express, and celebrate all sexual identities and genders. For more information, email info@prideri.com or call (401) 467-2130.
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Options | March 2015
APRI Seeks Restaurant Participation in
Dining Out For Life
®
by Samuel Simas
Rhode Island may be in the middle of one of its coldest winters, but AIDS Project Rhode Island (APRI) is already thinking warm spring thoughts.They’re forecasting beautiful weather and great company for their 11th Annual Dining Out for Life®, an inspired event whereby many generous restaurants across Rhode Island donate anywhere from 25 to 50% of the day’s proceeds to APRI. It’s a “sit-down to stand-up” event to raise awareness for the continuing fight against HIV/AIDS. I’m sure the weather has messed up your plans, so this is a perfect opportunity for you to call your friends and reschedule your missed mimosas and delicious meals for Thursday, April 30. Last year hungry folks and food activists sat down to dine on dishes like Chana Masala from Rasoi (Pawtucket), Chocolate Espresso Tart from Gracie’s (Providence), and other delectable meals in thirty restaurants. APRI hopes to expand their reach this year by including more restaurants. Julie Casimiro, APRI’s development director said, “We’re hoping to sign up participating restaurants from last year and add a dozen more… We have been fortunate to have restaurants in all corners of the state and nearby Massachusetts join us the last Thursday of April in raising money for APRI. We work to fill their restaurants, even introducing their establishment to new customers, so they have a great business day.”
Options | March 2015
Dining Out For Life® not only stimulates and enlivens the business of our local restaurants, but this event also gives Rhode Islanders an opportunity to actively participate in raising HIV/AIDS awareness in our state. “We encourage our supporters, donors, and friends to patronize our partner restaurants not just on the day of the event but all year long,” Casimiro says. “We remember our friends!” This is an opportunity for you to fill your stomachs and feel great about it. All you need to do is eat at a participating restaurant on Thursday, April 30.To include your restaurant, find participating restaurants, or for more info, contact Julie at 519-2289 or julie@aidsprojectri.org. Eat up, my friends!q AIDS Project RI is a division of Family Service of RI, providing case management, various health-related services, advocacy, prevention education, and HIV and Hep-C testing. APRI’s location is 9 Pleasant Street, Providence. Call (401) 831-5522 or visit www.aisdprojectri.org for more info.
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Sally Gabb
by Jodi Glass
Jodi: Who are you? Sally: I am Sally Gabb, a lesbian woman, married to my partner of 25 years; a literacy professional, a social and political radical, hoping and working for political and social change. I am a reading specialist at Bristol Community College. J: When did you first identify as a feminist? S: I definitely didn’t use the word “feminist” until I became part of the radical collective for the Great Speckled Bird weekly in Atlanta when I was in college, working in the Civil Rights Movement. But I believed in supporting the right for women to be able to function equally in society, to be able to do anything including in areas considered activities/jobs/sports for men only, and for men to be free to do anything as well, including activities/jobs/sports considered women’s areas. J: How do you define feminism? S: I define “feminism” as a philosophy that challenges any gender or sexualityspecific allocation of human activity and seeks equal opportunity for all. The devaluation of women and so called “women’s work” in society is part of the overall hierarchical categorization of human activity that has given rise to our white/male domination that persists, despite recent gains in the western world at least. I believe feminism embraces anti-racism, anti-classism, anti-
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homophobia, and recognizes that until all discriminatory definitions are eliminated, women will not achieve full participation in society as equals. J: What experiences led you to solidify your views as a feminist and a political activist? S: I came into social progressive movements through the Civil Rights activities in the late 60s. Being involved in sit-ins in Durham, North Carolina where I was in school [at Duke University] was exciting and real. I started identifying with those who wanted to challenge the remaining vestiges of the post-Civil War south--the segregation that continued even after Brown vs. Board of Education [and began] looking at the contradictions of the Vietnam War. By the time I was at Columbia, I was increasingly involved in New Left activities [and] attended the first large anti-war march in New York City.When I graduated, I went to the York, Pennsylvania Gazette and Daily, a small town paper with an anti-war editorial policy. I left the paper, first to work on a series of documentaries about Detroit after the riots, then to Atlanta on a writing fellowship. I joined the staff of the Great Speckled Bird and worked full-time for social justice. By 1970, I had come out, and in our fledgling organization, the Atlanta Lesbian Feminist Alliance, we explored lesbian feminism. We were young and naïve… and convinced that we could “make the revolution” for people of color, for women, for poor people. We did open some doors, but the powers that be have closed in on us. I look back on the
60s and 70s as a time of tremendous optimism, but as a time of limited vision. As a feminist and as a progressive, I continue to speak out in small ways, waiting for the next wave of action. J: Where do you find feminism in Rhode Island today? S: I personally find feminism through my colleagues and friends from various activities including the world of adult basic education, workers’ rights, the Occupy movement, and anti-racist organizations where women have leadership positions. I find feminism in the LGBTQ community, as most LGBTQ groups support feminist ideals and the end of categorization and discrimination. J: How can we, as a community, keep feminism alive and thriving? S: Each of us needs to insert feminist criticism and ideals into our work life, our community life, and our personal lives. We need to bring up issues of gender discrimination in all settings, and to maintain media that promotes feminist ideals. We must counter negative stereotypes about feminism – the “feminazi” designation, for example – and introduce children and young people to feminism as a path to equal opportunity and the end to patriarchal domination. We need to encourage the introduction of feminist ideas into education at all levels. While it’s great that stores like Target sell shirts that proclaim “girl power,” we need to make sure such commercial hijacking of slogans doesn’t invalidate actual work – politically, socially, legally – to achieve an end to discrimination against women.q
Options | March 2015
Resources
Options originated in 1982 as the offical newsletter of the Rhode Island Gay Task Force. Editor Jos Fayette explained, “The RIGTF wants to make the homosexual community aware of their options as gay men and women in Rhode Island. And it’s only because we live, work, love, and play in this state that there are such a large number of options available to all of us.” Options has always, and will continue to print LGBTQ resources so that you can, as Fayette went on to say, “Exercise your OPTIONS today to make positive changes in your life tomorrow.” Help us help you! Email info@optionsri.org if you come across a resource listing that needs updating. Phone numbers are in the 401 area code and addresses are in RI, unless otherwise indicated. Addiction Support Groups AA Brothers in Sobriety: Saturday 7:30pm. 372 Wayland Avenue, Providence. 751-9328. Alcohol/Drug Helpline: RI Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence. 24hr. (866) 252-3784. RI LGBT AA Group: Tuesdays 7-8pm. The Wellness Company,132A George M Cohan Blvd., Providence. All are welcome. Set Them Free: Narcotics Anonymous open discussion group. Wednesdays 7:30-9pm. Anchor Recovery Community Center, 249 Main Street, Pawtucket. 721-5100. info@anchorrecovery.org. www.anchorrecovery.org. Seven Hills Behavioral Health: Addiction support services and Narcan. 1173 Acushnet Avenue, New Bedford, MA, 508999-4159. 310 S. Main Street, Fall River, MA, 508-235-1012. Leonard Amaral, Program Manager, lamaral@sevenhills.org. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: 12-step program. Fridays at 7pm. Providence Presbyterian Church, 500 Hope Street, Providence, side entrance, downstairs to the left. Gay, but all are welcome. AIDS/Health Resources AFIA Center for Health & Wholeness: Meals, food pantry, HIV support groups, recovery groups, recreational and social activities. Sponsored by AIDS Project RI. Free to clients. Wednesday and Thursday 12-3pm. Mathewson Street Church, 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. Contact Gordon Cooper, 331-1350 ext. 3268. info@uwri.org. www.familyserviceri.org. AIDS Action Hotline: MA only. (800) 235-2331. www.aac. org. AIDS Care Ocean State: Confidential HIV & HEP C testing, safer-sex supplies, case management, emergency funds, clinical services, assisted and supportive housing for people living with HIV/AIDS, street outreach, ENCORE, HIV+ support groups. Speaker’s Bureau, 18 Parkis Ave., Providence. 521-3603 (call 781-0665 to schedule an appointment). www.aidscareos.org. AIDS Project RI: Division of Family Service of RI. Case management, buddies, COBRA and dental services, emergency fund, mental health counseling, nutrition support, assessment and referral, wellness programs, advocacy, strength training, prevention education, HIV testing. 9 Pleasant Street, Providence. 831-5522
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www.aidsprojectri.org. AIDS Quilt RI: Displays local AIDS memorial quilt panels, panel-making programs including Anna’s Workshop, HIV/AIDS education for young people. PO Box 2591, Newport. 4344880. admin@aidsquiltri.org.www.aidsquiltri.org. Brown University AIDS Program: Clinical trials, public policy, research, lectures, conferences, patient and community education. 121 South Main Street, Second Floor, Providence. 863-6790. brunap@brown.edu. brown.edu/Departments/ BRUNAP. Community Care Alliance: Case management, support, personal care items for people living with HIV/AIDS in northern Rhode Island. 245 Main Street, Woonsocket. 235-6092. lcohen@ famresri.org. Comprehensive Community Action Programs: Medical, mental health, dental, social services, LGBT outreach. 311 Doric Avenue, Cranston. Also Coventry, Pawtucket, and Warwick. 467-9610. Gabriel Care, LLC: Nursing/social worker case management and financial compensation for assistance and supervision for those living with HIV. MassHealth funded for MA residents. 376 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. Contact Jenn, (508) 678-1002. HIV Antibody Testing: Anonymous. Free or sliding scale. RI Department of Health. Providence, Newport and other locations. 222-2320. Home and Hospice Care of RI: Medical care management for HIV/AIDS. 24hr nursing staff for treatment. 1085 North Main Street, Providence. Referrals: 782-0725. Bereavement groups: Contact John Charette, 727-7079. Main Office: 4154200 or toll-free 800-338-6555. www.hhcri.org. House of Compassion: HIV/AIDS housing. 2510 Mendon Road, Cumberland. 658-3992. LGBT Caregiver Online Support Group: For LGBTs caring for someone with chronic health problems. www.caregiver.org Luis E. Martinez House CHS, Inc.: Supportive, permanent housing for 10 adults living with HIV/AIDS and/or substance abuse. New Bedford, MA. Contact Joe Taylor. (508) 984-7514. Partners in Learning About AIDS: Outreach to minorities, women of color, and LGBT community at clubs and other locations. North Providence office provides free condoms and information about STIs and post-exposure prophylaxis for HIV. 1006 Charles Street, Suite 5, North Providence. 484-
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7523. info@plaidsproject.org. www.plaidsproject.org. Project Weber: Services for male sex workers. Drop-in center, support groups, HIV and Hep C testing, clean needles. 383-4888. www.projectweber.org. Seven Hills HIV Prevention & Screening: TWIST program, HIV and STI prevention and testing, partner care. 1173 Acushnet Avenue, New Bedford, MA, 508-999-4159. 310 S. Main Street, Fall River, MA, 508-235-1012. Contact Leonard Amaral, lamaral@sevenhills.org. SSTAR (Stanley Street Treatment & Resources): Counseling, drug treatment, detox, domestic violence programs, free and confidential HIV, HEP C, and STD testing, education, case management and support. MA and RI locations. 386 Stanley Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 679-5222. Project Aware (HIV/ HCV); (508) 324-3561. Family Healthcare Center; (508) 6751054. www.sstar.org. Steppingstone, Inc.: Welcome Home Medical case management program. One-on-one peer support in Somerset to Wareham area. HIV support groups available. Free and open to any HIV+ person 18+. 5 Dover Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 984-7514. www.steppingstoneinc.org. Tranquil Mind & Wellness: Counseling, alternative healing, yoga, Pilates, meditation.109 Rhode Island Road, Lakeville, MA. (508) 947-1683. www.tranquilmind.net. Thundermist Health Center: Provides HIV/AIDS services including medical care and treatment by an HIV specialist, dental care, behavioral health counseling, nutritional assessment and counseling, pharmacy consultation, free and confidential HIV testing. 450 Clinton Street, Woonsocket. Contact Philip Kane. 767-4100 ext. 3516. Information/Education The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health: Education, pleasure, health, advocacy. Tuesday-Saturday 12 -- 6 pm and by appointment. 250 Main Street, Unit 1, Pawtucket. 489-5513. www. thecsph.org. Fenway Community Center LGBT Helpline: Support, information and referrals. Fenway Community Health Center, Boston. Open daily 6-11pm. (617) 267-9001 or 888-340-452 GLBT National Help Center Hotline: Local resources nationwide provided by social services agency. 888-843-4564. www.glbtnationalhelpcenter.org. Newport Out: LGBT website for Newport. www.newportout.com. RILGBT-News: Low-volume email distribution list for LGBT & AIDS news from RI. Not a discussion list.To subscribe: tinawood@ cox.net. United Way of RI Referral Line: 2-1-1 Nightlife The Alley Cat Providence: Downtown neighborhood bar.
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Monday-Thursday 3pm-1am, Friday 3pm-2am, Saturday 2pm2am, Sunday 2pm-1am. 19 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369. Bobby’s Place: Dancing, pool, video lounge, karaoke. SundayWednesday 5pm-1am, Thursday-Saturday 5pm-2am. 62 Weir Street,Taunton, MA. (508) 824-9997. www.bobbysplacema.com. Brooklyn Coffee Tea House: 209 Douglas Ave., Providence: public/private venue for music, art, film screenings, weddings, showers, etc. RHODYWOOD@yahoo.com; 359-0192. Club Body Center: Gay men’s sauna. Membership required. One-day pass available. Open 24hr. 257 Weybosset Street, Providence. 274-0298. www.clubbodycenter.com. The Dark Lady: Downtown bar and nightclub.Tuesday-Thursday 9pm-1am, Friday & Saturday 9pm-3am, Sunday 9pm-1am. 17 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369. EGO: Providence’s newest gay nightlife performance/event space. Sunday and Thursday 9pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 10pm-3am, 73 Richmond St, Providence. 383-1208. www. egopvd.com. Indigo Lounge: 599 Tiogue Ave, Coventry RI 02816. Breakfast buffet, specialty pizzas, T Dances, live entertainment, karaoke Thurs. Hours vary, closed Mon. www.Indigopizza.com. Mirabar: Downtown bar and nightclub. Monday-Thursday 3pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 3pm-2am, Sunday 3pm-1am. 15 Elbow Street, Providence. 331-6761. www.mirabar.com. Providence Eagle: Leather, Levi, bear cruise bar. Monday-Thursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday-Sunday 12pm-2am. 124 Snow Street, Providence. 421-1447. The Stable: Downtown video bar. No cover. Monday-Thursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday 12pm-2am, Sunday 12pm1am. 125 Washington Street, Providence. 272-6950. The Village: Downtown Providence’s newest LGBT owned and operated restaurant and live entertainment venue. Lunch & dinner Wednesday through Sunday for varying hours. 373 Richmond St. 228-7222, www.TheVillageRi.com Political & Legal Groups American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU): 128 Dorrance Street, Suite 220, Providence. 831-7171. riaclu.org. Amnesty International OUTfront: Program to campaign globally for LGBTQ human rights. (212) 807-8400. Cvohs18904@ yahoo.com. www.amnestyusa.org. Brown University Queer Alliance: Student advocacy and support organization. queer@brown.edu. Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD): LGBT/HIV legal info hotline. Weekdays 1:30-4:30pm. 30 Winter Street, Suite 800, Boston, MA. (617) 436-1350 or (800) 455-GLAD. gladlaw@ glad.org www.GLAD.org. Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund: 120 Wall Street, Suite 1500, NY. (212) 809-8585. www.lambdalegal.org. Lawyers for Equality and Diversity (LEAD): Advocates for LGBT causes. lawyersforequality@gmail.com.
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The Next Thing (TNT): Political and support group for queer people of color located at Brown University. 863-3062. tnt@ brown.edu. RI Commission on Prejudice and Bias: Hate crime awareness training program. www.hatecrimeri.org. RI Socialist Action: 952-5385, adgagneri@gmail.com. Spanish: 351-3514, walsil@cox.net. RI Human Rights Commission: Anti-discrimination law enforcement agency with jurisdiction in employment, housing, public accommodations, and credit. 180 Westminster Street, 3rd floor, Providence. 222-2662 TTY: 222-2664, richr.ri.gov. Scouts for Equality: An organization composed largely of Boy Scouts of America alumni dedicated to ending the BSA’s ban on gay members and leaders. Contact Carol Crowther. ccrowther1@ gmail.com. Facebook.com/riscoutsforequality. Servicemembers Legal Defense Network: Serving LGBT military personnel and veterans. PO Box 65301, Washington DC. (202) 328-3244. or (800) 538-7418. sldn@sldn.org. www.sldn.org. Religious & Spiritual All Saints Memorial Church: 674 Westminster Street, Providence. 751-1747. asmcri@verizon.net. www.allsaintsmemorial.org. Amicable Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Pastor William Sterrett. Sunday 10am. 3736 Main Road,Tiverton. 624-4611. amicablechurch@aol.com, www.amicablechurch.org. Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists: robin@awab.org, www.awab.org. Barrington Congregational Church: UCC. “The white church.” Sundays 10am. 461 County Road, Barrington. 246-0111. office@bccucc.org, www.bccucc.org. Bell Street Chapel: Unitarian Universalist. A Welcoming Congregation. Rev. Margaret Weis. Sundays 10am. 5 Bell Street, Providence. 273-5678. www.bellstreetchapel.org. Beneficent Congregational Church: UCC. An Open & Affirming congregation in the heart of Providence. Co-Pastors Todd & Nicole Yonkman. Sundays 10am. 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. 331-9844. BeneficentChurchUCC@gmail.com, www.beneficentchurch.org. Berean Baptist Church: A safe and welcoming place for all God’s children. Sunday 10am. 474 Chapel Street, Harrisville. 5685411. bereanbaptist@verizon.net. www.bereanri.org. Calvary United Methodist Church of Middletown: LGBTQ early dementia support group. Contact Amy. Sundays 10:30am. 200 Turner Road, Middletown. 847-6181, www.middletownmethodist.com. Central Congregational Church: UCC. An Opening & Affirming Congregation. Sundays 10:30am. 296 Angell Street, Providence. 331-1960. www.centralchurch.us. Channing Memorial Church: Unitarian Universalist. A Welcoming Congregation. Sundays 10am. 135 Pelham Street, Newport. 846-0643. administrator@channingchurch.org. www.channingchurch.org.
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Charter Oak Grove ADF: An Open and Welcoming Congregation of Neo-pagan Druids in CT. charteroakadf@gmail.com, www.charteroakadf.org. Christ Church in Lonsdale: Episcopal. 1643 Lonsdale Avenue, Lincoln. Services 8am and 10:30am. 725-1920. office@christchurchlincoln.org. www.christchurchlincoln.org. Church of the Epiphany: A diverse Open & Affirming Episcopal congregation. 1336 Pawtucket Avenue, East Providence. 4345012. info@epiphanyep.org, www.epiphanyep.org. Church of the Holy Paraclete: Independent Old Catholic. Fr. Jakob Lazarus. Sunday 9am and 6pm. 155 Douglas Avenue, Providence. 218-0706. www.holyparaclete.org. Edgewood Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Service 10am. 1788 Broad Street, Cranston. 461-1344. office@edgewoodchurchri.org. www.edgewoodchurchri.org. Emmanuel Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 120 Nate Whipple Highway, Cumberland. 658-1506. office@emmanuelri.org. www.emmanuelri.org. First Congregational Church in Bristol: An Open and Affirming Congregation. 281 High Street, Bristol. 253-7288. www.fccbristol.org. First Unitarian Church: A welcoming congregation. Sunday 10:30am. 1 Benevolent Street, Providence. 421-7970. admin@firstunitarianprov.org, www.firstunitarianprov.org. First Unitarian Church: Service 11am. 71 8th Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 994-9686. admin@uunewbedford.org, www.uunewbedford.org. First Universalist Society: UU. Welcoming congregation. Same-gender weddings. 262 Chestnut Street, Franklin, MA. (508) 528-5348. fusf@verizon.net, www.fusf.org. Foxboro Universalist Church: UUA. Service 10am. 6 Bird Street, Foxboro, MA. 508-543-4002. chair@uufoxborough.org. www.uufoxborough.org. Grace Episcopal Church in Providence: 175 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-3225. hello@gracechurchprovidence. org. www.gracechurchprovidence.org. Immanuel Lutheran Church: A Reconciling in Christ congregation. Pastor Sandra Demmler D’Amico. 647 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2898. www.immanuellc.org. Interweave at Channing Memorial UU Church: A membership organization for the spiritual, political and social wellbeing of LGBTQ persons, and their allies, confronting oppression. 135 Pelham Street, Newport. 846-0643. Lutheran Church of the Good Shepherd: A “Reconciling in Christ” congregation (Welcoming). 3383 Old North Rd., Kingston, RI. Sundays 9 am. Pastor Mary Hansen-Joyce. 7897776; office@goodshepherdri.org Mathewson St. Church: United Methodist. 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-8900. MathewsonStUMC@gmail.com. Mercy of God Community: Christian, inclusive religious order. mercycomm@yahoo.com, www.mgc.org. Murray Unitarian Universalist Church: Marriage and commitment ceremonies for all. Rev. Bob McKetchnie. 505 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-0505
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www.murrayuuchurch.org. Newman Congregational Church: Open & Affirming. 100 Newman Avenue, Rumford. 434-4742. www.newmanucc.org. Newport Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Rev. Hayes and Rev. Baker. 73 Pelham Street, Newport. 849-2238. Park Place Congregational Church: 71 Park Place, Pawtucket. 726-2800. office@ppucc.necoxmail.com, www.parkplaceucc.com. The Pub Church: An Open & Affirming church that meets in a pub. Location may change. Saturday 5pm. The Dugout, 722 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, MA. thepubchurch@gmail.com. Pilgrim Lutheran Church: An inclusive congregation. Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 1817 Warwick Avenue,Warwick. 739-2937. parishasst@pilgrimlutheranri.org, pilgrimlutheranri.jimdo.com. Pilgrim United Church of Christ: Open and Affirming. 635 Purchase Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)-997-9086. Riverside Church: UCC.15 Oak Avenue, Riverside. Service 10am. 433-2039. www.rcc-ucc.com. St. Augustine’s Church and Episcopal Center at URI: 15 Lower College Road, Kingston. 783-2153. Sundays 8am and 10am.StAugustinesChurch@necoxmail.com, www.staugustineuri.org. St. James Church: Episcopal. 474 Fruit Hill Avenue, North Providence. 353-2079. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 10am. 50 Orchard Avenue, Providence. 751-2141. StMartinsNB.Secretary@gmail.com, www.stmartinsprov.org. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Welcoming Church. Monthly LGBT Eucharist. 136 Rivet Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)994-8972. stmartins1887@comcast.com, www.stmartinsma.org. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 9am. 50 Park Place, Pawtucket. 728-4300. office@stpaulspawtucket.org, www.stpaulspawtucket.org. St. Paul’s Church: A welcoming Episcopal church. Sundays 9am. 2679 East Main Street, Portsmouth. 683-1164. stpaulsportsmouthri.org. St. Peter & St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church: 25 Pomona Avenue, Providence. 272-9649.stpanda25@verizon.net. www.stpeters-standrews.org. Saint Therese Old Catholic Church: Open & Affirming. Fr. David Martins. Sunday 10:30am. 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. 680-9076. stocc134@gmail.com, www.saintthereseocc.org. Second Congregational Church of Attleboro: UCC. Open & Affirming. 50 Park Street, Attleboro, MA. Sunday 10am. (508) 222-4677. office2nd@verizon.net, www.attleborosecondchurch.org. Seekonk Congregational Church: Rev. Joy Utter. Sundays 9am. 600 Fall River Avenue, Seekonk, MA. (508) 336-9355. sccucc@verizon.net, www.scc-ucc.com
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Soka Gakkai: Buddhist association for peace, culture, and education. Contact for weekly meetings in Providence. 930 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston. (617) 264-2000. www.sgi-usa.org. Temple Agudas Achim: Reconstructionist congregation. 901 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2243. office@agudasma.org, www.agudasma.org. Temple Beth-El: Rabbi Sarah E. Mack. 70 Orchard Avenue, Providence. 331-6070. info@temple-beth-el.org, www.temple-beth-el.org. Temple Emanu-El: A welcoming Conservative congregation. Rabbi Wayne Franklin. 99 Taft Avenue, Providence. 331-1616. info@teprov.org, www.teprov.org. Temple Habonim: A warm, Welcoming Reform congregation. Rabbi Andrew Klein. 165 New Meadow Road, Barrington. 245-6536. office@templehabonim.org, www.templehabonim.org. Temple Sinai: A Welcoming Reform temple. Rabbi Jeff Goldwasser, 30 Hagen Avenue, Cranston. 942-8350. webmaster@templesinairi.org, www.templesinairi.org. Unitarian Church in Fall River: Sunday 10:30am. 309 North Main Street, Fall River, MA. 508-678-9700. office@unitarianchurchfr.org, www.unitarianchurchfr.org. Unitarian Universalist Society of Fairhaven: Service 10:30am. 102 Green Street, Fairhaven, MA. (508) 992-7081. www.uufairhaven.org. Unitarian Universalist Congregation of South County: 27 North Road, Peace Dale. 783-4170 or Val 789-7282. uucscri@yahoo.com. www.uusouthcountyri.org. Westminster Unitarian Universalist Church: A UUA Welcoming Congregation. 119 Kenyon Avenue, East Greenwich. 884-5933. www.westminsteruu.org. Social Organizations Bear Providence: Monthly social events for the bear community. www.bearprovidence.com Bisexual Resource Center: PO Box 170796, Boston, MA. (617) 424-9595. brc@bicresource.net www.biresource.net. Biversity Boston: Mixed-gender social events for Boston and the surrounding area. (617) 424-9595. biversity-subscribe@biversity.org, www.biversity.org. Boston Bisexual Women’s Network: Social activities including monthly brunches, coming out groups and quarterly newsletter “Bi Woman Quarterly.” www.biwomenboston.org. Bears Ocean State (BOS): Informal e-group for gay & bisexual bear-identified and affiliated men for friendly companionship. All welcome. groups.yahoo.com/group/bearsoceanstate. Cape and Islands Gay & Straight Youth Alliance (CIGSYA): 56 Barnstable Road, Hyannis, MA. (508) 778-7744. info@cisgsya.org, www.cigsya.org. Communisong: For unity through song. Non-performance monthly singing session. www.communisong.net. CORISMA: Potluck get-togethers for couples from RI and southeast MA. corismainfo@comcast.net, www.corismagroup.org.
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Imperial Court of RI at Providence: Drag and non-drag performers raise funds for local charities. All welcome to general membership meetings on first Monday at Dark Lady, 17 Snow Street, Providence. icri.prov@gmail.com. www.icriprov.org. Mixed Borders Gardening Group: Gardening and more. Monthly meetings, all welcome. Mixedborders@cox.net. www.mixedborders.com. Opera Club: Enjoy hearing and attending. Last Sunday of each month at 1pm. BrettCornellpi4@aol.com. Providence Gay Men’s Chorus: New season rehearsals begin in January and August. Singers and non-singing volunteers welcome. Monday 7-9:30pm. Beneficent Church, 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. www.provgmc.org. RI Association of Gay Professionals: Networking and philanthropy. www.riagp.com. RI Parents Pride: Gay parents socializing together with their children. Contact Melanie. 464-2288. saphicangel120@yahoo.com. RI Pride: Open house 4th Wednesdays. Festival & Parade 3rd Saturday in June. Office: 1005 Main Street #1105 Pawtucket. Mail: PO Box 1082, Providence, 02903. 467-2130. info@prideri.com, www.prideri.com. RI Prime Timers: Social and networking group for gay and bisexual men 40 and older. Second Sunday. Contact Steve, 996-3010. www.riprimetimers.org. RI Skeptics Society: Yearning to talk with someone rational? Refreshing discussion. Fourth Saturday. East Providence restaurant location. www.meetup.com/skeptics-133/. RI Women’s Association: Lesbian social group. 21+. Dances & events. www.riwa.net. SAGE/RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders): Advocacy, education and social events for LGBTQ seniors. 235 Promenade Street, Suite 500, Box 18, Providence. 528-3259. sageriinfo@gmail. com. SEMASSMEN: Social group for GBQ men of southeastern MA & RI to foster strong friendships. Semassmen-subscribe@ yahoogroups.com. rlevass@yahoo.com. Yankee Lambda Car Club: Regional club for GLBT vintage & specialty car enthusiasts. www.yankeelcc.com. Sports & Recreation PrideSports Boston: Network of twenty-plus gay sports
leagues/teams in Boston area. www.pridesportsboston.com. Boston Gay BASKETBALL League: ksg.bgbl@gmail.com, www.bgbl.com. Big Gay Al’s Duckpin BOWLING League: Proceeds benefit AIDS causes.Tuesday 6:30pm. 1463 Atwood Avenue,Town Hall Lanes, Johnston. Contact Frank Ferri. 831-6940.www.bgalbowling.com. www.townhalllanes.com. GALA Bowling League: Sundays 5:50 p.m., E. Providence Lanes, 80 Newport Ave., E. Prov. Season thru April. View us on Facebook or email galabowlingleague@gmail.com. FLAG (For Lesbians And Gays) FOOTBALL: Boston-based recreational football club. All skill levels are encouraged to participate. Saturday mornings in the fall and spring. www.flagflagfootball.com. Boston Pride HOCKEY: www.bostonpridehockey.org. Rondeaus KICKBOXING: 272-5425. www.rondeauskickboxing. com. Main Street MARTIAL ARTS: Non-profit. Welcoming dojo and community center. 1282 North Main Street, Providence. 274-7672.www.mainstma.org. Chiltern Mountain Club: OUTDOOR recreation club in New England. events@chiltern.org. www.chiltern.org. Boston Gay ROWERS: Worldwide online community for gay and lesbian rowers, coxies, coaches, and race officials. www.glrf.org. Boston Ironsides RUGBY Football: www.bostonironsides.org. Frontrunners Rhode Island RUNNING Group: Running and walking group. Newcomers welcome. Meet at the end of Blackstone Boulevard at Hope Street, Providence. Thursday 6pm. Contact Brian. 751-7643. bripm@cox.net, frontrunnersri@gmail.com Frontrunners Boston RUNNING Group: Morning walk/ run along the Charles River. Saturdays,10am. Club Cafe, 209 Columbus Avenue, Boston, MA. www.frontrunnersboston.org. OutRyders SKIING: New England’s largest gay and lesbian ski and snowboard club. www.outryders.org. Boston Strikers SOCCER Club: Non-profit social organization to learn and improve soccer skills in a relaxed, congenial environment. www.bostonstrikers.com. Renaissance City SOFTBALL League: New players and boosters always welcome. www.providencesoftball.org. Beantown SOFTBALL League: Friendly competition. 27 teams in four divisions of play: competitive, intermediate, and recreational. (617) 297-7490. www.beantownsoftball.com.
ceremony reception after party Any party
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LANES (Liquid Assets New England SWIMMING): Fitness and/or competition. (617) 937-5858. www.swim-lanes.org. TENNIS-4-All: Boston area tennis organization. www.tennis4all. org. Cambridge Boston VOLLEYBALL Association: Players of all skill levels welcome. secretary@cbvolleyball.net www.gayvolleyball.net. Ocean State Pride VOLLEYBALL League: Adult co-ed indoor league following USVBA rules. No try-outs. Fee applies. Kent County YMCA, 900 Centerville Road, Warwick. ospvolleyball@gmail.com. East Coast WRESTLING Club: (617)937.5858 x6. ecwc@juno.com. www.eastcoastwrestlingclub.org. Students & Youth Bristol Community College Gay/Straight Alliance: Steven Camara, Advisor. BCC-H202, 777 Elsbree Street, Fall River, MA. (774) 357-2391. Brown University Queer Alliance: Umbrella organization at Brown University for LGBTQ groups. 863-3062. queer@ brown.edu or lgbtq@brown.edu. CCRI Triangle Alliance: an LGBTQQ student-run group at CCRI, on the Flanagan, Liston, and Knight campuses. www.ccri. edu/triangle/. COLAGE: Support and social activities for children of LGBT parents. Coordinator Veronica Jutras. Third Saturday 10:30am12pm. Gordon School, E. Providence. rhodeisland@colage.org www.colage.org/colage-chapter/colage-rhode-island-chapter/. LGBT National Youth Talkline: 800-246-7743. Private oneto-one chat and info on local resources. Peer Listening Line: Youth-staffed hotline for GLBT youth. Support, info and referrals. 5-10pm. Fenway Community Health Center, Boston, MA. (617) 267-9001 or (800) 399-PEER. www. fenwayhealth.org. Salve Regina University – The Alliance: 100 Ochre Point Avenue, Newport. Contact: Mandy Hart. mandy.hart@salve. edu. SeaQuel (Southeast Asian Queers United for Empowerment and Leadership): a program of PRYSM. Monthly Sunday meetings. 383-7450.
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SeaQuel@prysm.us. www.prysm.us. S.H.E.P.A.R.D. (Stopping Homophobia, Eliminating Prejudices and Restoring Dignity): Providence College, 1 Cunningham Square, Providence. 865-1631. shepard@providence.edu. The Trevor Project: The only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for LGBT youth. Also offers social networks. (866)4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386). thetrevorproject.org. University of RI LGBTIQ2: Alumni association. 874-5808. gsimonelli@uri.edu. URI LGBTQ Center: A cultural department for students, faculty and staff. Florence Badejo. 874-2894. Youth Pride Inc.: Support,education & advocacy for LGBTQQ young people ages 13--23. Tues. -- Fri. 2 -- 8pm. The Way Out peer support group Thurs. 4pm. Gender Spectrum support groupTues. 4pm. Visit our website for full calendar of events. 743 Westminster St., Providence. 421-5626. info@youthprideri.org. www.youthprideri.org. Support Groups & Social Services Abuse Victims and Survivors: Support on phone for LGBTQ victims & survivors of partner abuse. Confidential peerled groups. Hotline: (617) 742-4911. TTY: (617) 227-4911. advocate@tnlr.org. Adoption Options: Non-sectarian help. Jewish Family Service, 959 North Main Street, Providence. Contact Betsy Alper. 331-5437. www.adoptionoptions.org. Community Care Alliance: Stipend, assistance, training provided by Family Resources Community Action. 235-6095. www.famresri. org. Foster parents needed: For newborn to age six. 276-4300. www.childrensfriendri.org. Family Service RI: Training, stipend, support provided for nurturing families. Family Service of RI. Contact Gregary Wright. 331-1350 ext. 3305. www.familyserviceri.org. Seven Hills Behavioral Health: HIV Prevention and Screening. 310 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 235-1012. T.W.I.S.T. (508) 672-0378. Blackstone Valley Advocacy Center: Offering resources for victims of domestic violence. 723-3057. www.bvadvocacycenter.org. Compass: FTM trans info, support and social group. Boston first Thursday 7-9pm. compassftm@gmail.com. www.compassftm.org. Crossroads RI Hotline: (800) 367-2700. Day One: Counseling & legal aid for victims of sexual assault/abuse & incest. 24hr hotline. (800) 494-8100. 421-4100. www.dayoneri.org. Domestic Violence Resource Center of South County: Support, court advocacy, counseling, safe home, info for women and men in abusive or controlling relationships. 24hr free and confidential helpline. 782-3990 or toll free 800-494-8100, www. dvrcsc.org. Gay Fathers of Greater Boston: Support. 738 Main St. #323, Waltham, MA. (781) 333-8429.
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info@gayfathersboston.org, www.gayfathersboston.org. Gay Officers Action League (GOAL)/New England: Law enforcement officers (sworn & civilian), fire, rescue and publicly employed EMS. Confidential. PO Box 587, Boston, MA 02117. (617) 376-3612. info@goalne.org, www.goalne.org. Gay Share: Coming Out? Gay men’s support group. No fee. Wednesday 7:30pm. Contact Tom or Mike. 369-9448. info@ gayshare.org, www.gayshare.org. GLBTQ Domestic Violence Project: Support, info, shelter. 955 Massachusetts Avenue, Private Message Box 131, Cambridge, MA. (800) 832-1901. www.glbtqdvp.org. Helpline for LGBT Youth: Trevor Helpline and social networks for crisis and suicide prevention. 24/7. (866) 4-U-Trevor. HIV+ Gay Men’s Support Group: Refreshments served. AIDS Care Ocean State, 18 Parkis Avenue, Providence. 5213603. New members contact Scott. 640-3108. Kathys’ Group: Free support group for lesbians with cancer or any life-threatening illness. Partners and caregivers welcome. Meets monthly in Providence. 888-5KATHYS. Mantalk of S.E. Mass: Socializing and discussions for gay, bi and curious men. Confidential. Drug and alcohol-free. 18+. Thursdays in Taunton and first Tuesdays in New Bedford. 7-8:30pm. mantalksouthcoast@yahoo.com. National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Assoc./New England: Works for fair and accurate media coverage of LGBT issues. info@nlgja.org, www.nlgja.org. Partner Support Group at Fenway Health: A ten-week support group with the purpose of building community and connections for anyone who identifies as non-trans, ages 18+, and is in a relationship with a trans* person(s). 1340 Boylston Street, Boston, MA. Contact Sarah Eley, LICSW. 857-313-6551. seley@fenwayhealth.org. PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays): Greater Providence chapter, serves all RI and southeastern MA. First Wednesday 6:45pm. Met School, 325 Public Street, Providence. 751-7571. PFLAGprovidence@gmail.com, www.pflagprovidence.org. RI Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 24hr helpline: (800) 494-8100. 467-9940. RI Rainbow Support Group: For people with disabilities who identify as LGBTQ. Last Tuesday. 98 Rolfe Street, Cranston. 6-7:30pm. Contact Ken Renaud. 785-2100. Samaritans: 24hr hotline for suicidal, lonely, despairing, depressed. (800) 365-4044. 272-4044 (RI only). www.samaritansri.org. Sexual Health Education & Advocacy Program: HIV, sexual wellness, domestic violence risk reduction. Free, confidential, bilingual (Spanish). No caller ID used. Calls blocked for safety. 861-6191 ext. 121. Sojourner House: Call for confidential support group. Support, shelter, advocacy and information for people in abusive relationships. Including specific LGBT services. No caller ID used. Outgoing calls blocked for safety. 24hr helpline. 7653232. 861-6191. www.sojournerri.org Straight Spouses: Groups and online support. www.straightspouse. org. TGI Network of RI: Support, advocacy for transgender, transsexual, gender-variant, genderqueer and/or intersex people. Borderlands peer group, first and third Tuesday 7-9pm. For location and information 441-5058. info@tginetwork.org, www. tginetwork.org. Trans* Partners New England: Gives romantic partners of
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transgender people a confidential, safe space to explore the impact of a loved one’s gender identity on their relationships, and to connect with other loved ones of transgender people. First Wednesday 6:30-8:30pm. Providence. Location unpublished for privacy. partners@tginetwork.org. Trans* Youth Family Allies: Support for gender-variant and transgender children ages 3-18. info@imatyfa.org, www.imatyfa. org. Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA): Growing organization to address the concerns of fair treatment of transgender veterans and active duty service members. www. tavausa.org. Women’s Resource Center of Newport and Bristol Counties: Offering services to victims of domestic violence. 846-5263. www.wrcnbc.org. q
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Worth a Look by The Lit Chick
John Lithgow and Alfred Molina star in Love Is Strange, a 2014 Sundance Film Festival release recently out on video. I stumbled onto this quirky art film at my local RedBox. If you’re looking for a quiet, reflective film packed with superb acting, and you have older relatives who love to visit, this is a good choice. Lithgow and Molina play Ben and George, a New York couple who have been together 39 years and decide to finally get married. The problem is that George is a music teacher in a Catholic school. He loses his job as a result of the wedding. The pair, no longer able to afford their apartment, are forced to live apart with family and
Massachusetts native Kristen Merlin, best known for belting out tunes on the sixth season of NBC reality show The Voice, recently released her first EP, Boomerang. Merlin’s debut will satisfy fans of country-western music and The Voice alike. It contains five entirely new songs never released as singles. It’s no wonder that Merlin’s strong voice and penchant for crooning country love songs landed her in the top five of The Voice. In Boomerang, Merlin sings with a full band, and the songs, though distinctly country, still have a catchy pop-ish feel beyond traditional country music. Merlin, a self-taught musician, was given a guitar by her mother when she was a junior in high school. She’s been playing and writing songs ever since. Even before her turn on The Voice, Merlin had owned the local karaoke scene and performed with Sugarland in Las Vegas. A lesbian country music star may seem like something from an alternate reality, but Merlin ably and unapologetically relates her experiences through the music. She breathes new life into the genre and makes it her own, transforming it for the LGBTQ community. Maybe it’s time we started listening to country music again.
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friends. Ben moves in with his nephew and his writer wife and their teen son, with whom he is forced to share a bunk bed. George crashes on the couch of too party-hardy friends. Says Ben, “When you live with people, you know them better than you care to.” What struck me most about this movie was the subtlety of the acting. Marisa Tomei is brilliant as Ben’s too-polite niece-in-law. The conversations are delicate and full of subtext; they capture the nuances of intergenerational relationships and their challenges. But most of all, they capture the enduring love of two men who simply can’t live apart, and family and friends who come to realize how beautiful (and strange) the time together is after all.
Romance author Suzie Carr is back with a fun, lighthearted romp set in Rhode Island. Sandcastles is told through the voices of career-driven advertising firm owner Lia, and her unlikely love interest and seemingly polar opposite, psychic yoga teacher Willow. Childhood acquaintances who didn’t quite get along, their paths collide at a local flea market and intertwine. Complicated steaminess ensues. Sandcastles is typical Carr: it has all the elements of classic romance but is told in a distinctly lesbian way. Carr, a master of interior dialogue, infuses her books with kindness for all of her characters. Their self-processing makes the reader feel that maybe her own interior dialogue isn’t as neurotic as it could be. Carr is based in Maryland but has Rhode Island roots, and I thoroughly enjoyed the references to shopping in Newport, walking the beach in Narragansett, and navigating the parking garage at the Providence Place Mall. Sandcastles is the tenth published novel for Carr, and each is as entertaining as the last. For all of you struggling authors, Carr also offers a free Writer’s Insights video series with solid, accessible tips for new novelists. Find Sandcastles and all of Carr’s books at her website, CurvesWelcome.com and at Amazon.com. An anti-bullying advocate and animal lover, Carr donates a portion of all book sales to the NOH8 Campaign and to Hearts United for Animals. Options | March 2015
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