PARENTING NOW

BUILDING EFFECTIVE Family

Communication

BY PARENTING NOW

It’s easy to get trapped in the negative communication patterns you may have learned from your own parents who learned them from their parents and so on, such as using hurtful language or not listening to you when you tried to communicate something important.

Remember that you are not your parents and you can choose to break the cycle of negative communication patterns by making choices that positively affect your child and spouse. You can choose positive communication choices, including using supportive and respectful language with your child, spouse, and family members, as well as listening to them and trying to understand their point of view.

LEARNING TO PROBLEM SOLVE WITHOUT FIGHTING

All couples have disagreements over matters big and small. But the way you choose to approach disagreements can have an impact on your child. Children are sensitive to disagreements in the home. They notice when the tone of your voice changes, how loud it gets, and the words being used.

When an issue pops up, try problem solving the issue together so you can move forward and find solutions without getting bogged down in blame and negative communication patterns.

First decide on a time and place to talk. It’s hard to problem solve when you are in a hurry or distracted. Then, try the following steps:

STEP 1: Name the problem without using blame. Consider these two approaches to a common problem: “You never spend time with me anymore,” versus “I miss spending time with you.” The first approach puts blame on the other person, while the second approach invites a conversation about how the couple can carve out more time for each other. Framing the problem in a neutral way ensures that your message will be heard.

STEP 2: Say what you want, just for yourself. Be specific about what the problem is and avoid vague language. For example: “What I want is for us to spend more time together like before we had Hannah.”

STEP 3: Ask for the other person’s point of view. Find out what your partner wants. Listen and acknowledge their feelings.

STEP 4: Brainstorm solutions. Without judgment, come up with some solutions to the problem. Be creative with your ideas. For example, “Maybe we could ask my sister to watch Hannah every other Saturday night for us?”

STEP 5: Decide on a solution that works for both of you.

STEP 6: Check in with each other. How is the solution is working for both of you? Do you need to make changes?

SOLVING PROBLEMS IS A PROCESS

When you communicate effectively and work together to solve problems, you are modeling positive communication skills and creating a healthy home environment for your child.

To learn more about infant development, sign up for Parenting Now!’s Incredible INFANTs program, which meets virtually on Zoom every other week for 10 sessions. The next Incredible INFANTs program starts on October 21. Call 541-434-4343 or email enroll@parentingnow.org to register.

The Jazzy Life

BY BONNIE L. HARRIS

DISNEY AND PIXAR promises. Also sad to say, in a and his soul heads for the Great they search for the mystic, 22 ANIMATION took movie about the soul of music, Beyond. Joe narrowly escapes learns about the wonders of life a large gamble with there isn’t a single memorable the white-light-bug-zapper that on Earth, including pizza, and their new feature, Soul, and tune. Narratively, the main sends souls wayward. Instead, Joe contemplates the repressed, that deserves some credit, but characters don’t have a villain to he’s assigned to mentor a cautious life he’s lived. In other than a few cute moments, outwit or anything to defeat so difficult, immature soul named the end, Joe and 22 sacrifice a couple of laughs, and the it’s never quite clear how they’ll 22, who’s avoided going to for each other and there’s a trademark Pixar animation, this measure their success. Earth for a couple thousand happy ending, but not before a film doesn’t deliver the jazz it But Joe Gardner, the adult years. Joe and 22 team up to secondary character restates the hero, definitely wants to be a reunite Joe’s soul with his body, theme in a parable about a fish, successful musician and he often but there’s a mix-up, and Joe just in case the audience didn’t regrets settling for the life of lands in a chubby cat while 22 get it the first time. In spite a middle-school band teacher. inhabits Joe’s body. The only of its faults, Soul is fairly fun, When he gets his big break person who can fix things is a moderately entertaining, and it through a former student, he wonky, guru-hippie mystic on has an uplifiting message. Pop accidentally falls in a manhole a New York street corner. As some popcorn and enjoy.

SOUL

Pixar Animation, Rated: PG Streaming on Disney Plus Search for the mystic.

FOR the PARENTS

Help Wanted: Fairy Godmother

GODMOTHERED Walt Disney Pictures, Rated: PG Streaming on Disney Plus

QUIRKY, FUNNY, CHARMING, high-spirited, and adorable are all fitting descriptions of Disney’s live-action feature Godmothered. It’s also a little glimpse of Christmas, but not so much that you’d call it a Christmas movie. Godmothered turns the fairy tale genre upside down when Eleanor, the youngest recruit at the failing Motherland Academy of Godmothering, goes rogue to save her beloved job. Unfortunately, the wishes and requests for godmothers have dwindled to a single, very old letter from 10-year-old Mackenzie “Mac” Walsh. If Eleanor fails the assignment, she’ll lose her magic or, worse, be forced to work as a tooth fairy. Undaunted, Eleanor stumbles into the real world to discover that Mac is now forty years old with two children and a job she dislikes. Still determined to help Mac find true love and live happily ever after, Eleanor’s adventures are a roller coaster of good intentions and magical misunderstandings. Although sometimes misguided, Eleanor’s unshakeable faith brings Mac’s family together and gives them the courage to conquer their biggest fears. The end drags just a bit, but the musical finale, Rise Up, sung by Jillian Shea Spaeder is phenomenal. Keep a tissue handy and settle in for a wonderful family movie. Mac begins to believe.