Lessons from Eugene’s Elder Lesbians

PARENTING IS HARD, FIND FRIENDS TO MAKE IT EASIER

BY BECKY RAINES, MUSEUM OF NATURAL AND CULTURAL HISTORY

RAINBOW RASCALS. LESBIAN MOMS ‘N’ OTHER PEOPLE. Cute names for something essential: parenting support. In the early days of Covid-19, many of us experienced profound isolation.

Many parents were suddenly without childcare and away from the support their families and friends provided. We didn’t know how to gather safely or how to weigh the risks and rewards of playdates or meeting with our parenting groups.

The elder lesbian parenting community of Eugene were familiar with this uncertainty. Many of them were new mothers in the 1980s and 90s, part of a national “gayby” boom as openly gay parents began to raise kids. Even in progressive Eugene, openly queer adults

LOOKING FOR BOOK SUGGESTIONS?

The Museum of Natural and Cultural History store has books for readers ranging from early childhood read-aloud to nonfiction for their grownups.

CHILDREN’S

• And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell

• Prince & Knight by Daniel Haack

• Maiden & Princess by Daniel Haack and Isabel Galupo

• Heather Has Two Mommies by Lesléa Newman

• We Rise, We Resist, We Raise Our Voices by various authors

MIDDLE-GRADE

• This is Our Rainbow by various authors

YOUNG ADULT

• Last Night At The Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo

• You Should See Me In A Crown by Leah Johnson

• Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender

ADULT

• Outlaw Marriages by Rodger Streitmatter

• The Gay Revolution by Lillian Faderman faced interactions that ranged from ignorant to threatening. In the best of times, raising kids is expensive and lonely, and the queer parenting community felt these emotions magnified by the homophobia of adoption agencies, fertility clinics, schools, and existing parenting groups.

Parenting wasn’t the only area in which lesbians faced challenges. It was hard for women to exist independently of men at that time; banks required a male cosigner for credit cards, for example. It was even harder for gay women; employers, including the University of Oregon, could fire employees for being out. Eugene lesbians carved out their own spaces to find support. They created companies like Starflower Natural Foods and Botanicals, which ran by consensus and paid parents an additional monthly stipend. They lived in cooperative housing and shared parenting duties. They made friends at Mother Kali’s Bookstore, where lesbians gathered to hang out after work. They found what most people are looking for: community. From these connections grew Rainbow Rascals and Lesbian Moms ‘n’ Other People, parenting groups made mostly of lesbian moms. In these groups, queer parents felt safe and welcome. The members took annual camping trips, did service work together, planned playdates – and advocated for each other and their children at Parent-Teacher Association meetings, school board debates, and when behavioral issues arose at school. Their kids were around other families like their own.

The lesbian moms of the Eugene area in the 80s and 90s were surrounded by obstacles, but they found people who shared their values and would advocate for each other. They built their community and fought for their friends and their kids. It wasn’t easy. But being a parent never is.

Interested in learning more? Outliers and Outlaws: Stories from the Eugene Lesbian History Project features the Eugene lesbian community between the 1960s and 1990s and runs through the end of 2023 at the Museum of Natural and Cultural History. Part of the exhibit is a kid-friendly reading nook, with bean bag chairs, photo-albums and children’s books.

EVER WISH YOUR YARD OR school outdoor space was just a little more fun for your kids? When you send them out to play, do they run out of things to do more quickly than you would like? Want to make changes, but not into spending tons of money? If all this rings true for you, then it’s time to naturalize your landscape!

Here at Nearby Nature, we call our outdoor space in Alton Baker Park the Learnscape. One of only two certified “Nature Explore” classrooms in Oregon (see certified.natureexplore.org), our home base is SO much more than a manicured lawn. Once a lumpy and hard-to-mow grass-scape, today our “yard” is a magical medley of named gardens, natural playscapes, picnic spots, and learning spaces.

When kids visit Nearby Nature for a program, they love making stick forts in the