“And Avraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.” (23:2) -
Why is the letter “Kaf” in the word “to weep” a tiny letter?
The Chatam Sofer (Rabbi Moshe Sofer 1762-1839) quotes the Talmud Baba Batra 16b that Avraham had a daughter whose name was “Bakol” who passed away. All the while that Sarah was alive Avraham did not experience the full pain of her loss. After Sarah’s demise, the full brunt of loneliness was felt by Avraham. This can explain the little letter “Kaf”. Once this letter is removed from the word, one can read the word “Ulebita” –”and for his daughter”. The small letter hints to us that Avraham returned to cry for both Sarah and his daughter, for whom he experienced the loss.
Rabbi Yaakov Aryeh in his Sefer Bikurei Aviv (Radzimin, Poland 1874-1792) states that the small “Kaf” is referring to the second description of Sarah. “At twenty “kaf” she was like seven as regards beauty, at one hundred she was like twenty as regards to sin, being sinless. Avraham cried not for her hinted beauty but rather on the loss of her righteousness, without sin. - Shabbat Shalom
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Daf Yomi: Bava Basra 151
DEAR TORAH TIDBITS FAMILY
DEAR TORAH TIDBITS FAMILY
RABBI AVI BERMAN EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, OU ISRAEL ABERMAN@OUISRAEL.ORG
Rabbi Avi Berman Executive Director, OU Israel
As I have written about previously, my family made aliyah when I was nine years old. We moved straight from Brooklyn to a yishuv called Kedumim. This beautiful yishuv was the first to be built in the Shomron after 1967. The day after we arrived, early Friday morning, my parents took us straight to the Kotel, Kever Rachel, and Maarat HaMachpela. My parents explained that it was important for them that as we entered into our first Shabbat living in the Land of Israel, we knew and experienced firsthand that this Land is ours and is deep in our history and our DNA. We were not in New York anymore, but in the Land of our fathers and mothers.
I’ll never forget that day. Despite the jetlag, all of our travels, and dealing with so much paperwork (this was before Nefesh B’Nefesh made it much smoother and easier), seeing these very special places left a deep impression on me and my three siblings.
The Shabbat of Parshat Chayei Sarah, which describes Avraham Avinu’s purchase of Ma’arat HaMachpela, has become the traditional time for Jews from all over Israel and the world to flock to Chevron and to spend the Shabbat praying at the caves where the Patriarchs and Matriarchs are buried. The Midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 79:7) comments that Ma’arat HaMachpela is one of three places in Tanach where we learn that a piece of Land was purchased by our ancestors. Our sages teach that this was done so that the nations of the world would not claim we stole this Land and took it unlawfully.
I believe that the fact that hundreds and thousands of Jews go to Chevron every year and set up tents or sleep on the grass, just so they can be there for this parsha is a tremendous hug to our forefathers and foremothers illustrating how connected we remain to them.
I am writing this column while on an OU trip to Los Angeles and Toronto. During the course of this visit, I spent time with friends who usually go to Chevron for Parshat Chayei Sarah, but this year they are unable to come due to high flight prices and general lack of tickets. Hearing them talk about how much they yearn to be in Chevron but can’t because of a lack of flights is heartbreaking. It made me especially grateful that my marketing team, Director of Marketing Laya Bejell, Director of Social Media Nina Broder and our loyal film crew, were working on a special video we created for Shabbat Chayei Sara to connect people to Chevron and Ma’arat HaMachpela.
It’s fascinating to read in the Gemara (Sotah 34b) that when the spies entered the Land of Israel, Kalev, one of the two who came back with a good report about the Land, made sure that the first place he went to was Chevron and Ma’arat HaMachpela. Ma’arat HaMachpela holds special significance. It was obvious to my parents as well that this was one of the first places to go when we entered the Land of Israel ourselves, and that value has been passed down to my family as well.
Last year, on Parshat Chayei Sarah, I gave
the Friday night drasha about Ma’arat HaMachpela and shared my family story of going there right after making aliyah. I was surprised to find out afterward that many of those praying in that minyan had never been to Ma’arat HaMachpela. Afterwards, a group of us decided to go to Ma’arat HaMachpela so they could experience it for the first time. It was so beautiful to see their faces as they entered, full of wonder and joy. They connected to their heritage in a new way - with Avraham and Sarah, Yitzchak and Rivka, and Yaakov and Leah. It’s something I cannot really explain in words, but anyone who has been to Ma’arat HaMachpela knows that special feeling, a feeling of longing, of homecoming, of connection. It’s a feeling that I recommend to anyone who has not been to Ma’arat HaMachpela: to come and those who have been to experience it again.
Particularly this year, when so many of our brothers and sisters so desire to come but cannot, I think it’s important for each and every one of us who are living in Israel to find the time to visit Chevron, particularly during these weeks when Avraham Avinu is demonstrating for us how much it means to the Jewish People. It reminds us how this Land is ours, and how closely we are connected to the Land in our history. There is
no better, warmer feeling, than to hug our grandparents, and going to Ma’arat HaMachpela is a hug to our greatest of grandparents. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Rabbi Simcha Hochbaum, Chevron Tourism Director, who was integral in creating OU Israel’s video on Chevron and sharing his unique insights on film. I hope you enjoy it on our YouTube channel @THEOUISRAEL. While I know it will help many connect to Ma’arat HaMachpela, there is no replacement for the real thing. A trip to Ma’arat HaMachpela is such a powerful one.
We need the zechut of our forefathers and foremothers now, more than ever, to defeat our enemies, stop the devastation to families and the burial of too many soldiers, and to bring the remaining hostages home safe. May the chasdei avot protect us and bring peace to Israel.
Wishing you all an uplifting and inspiring Shabbat,
Rabbi Avi Berman Executive Director, OU Israel aberman@ouisrael.org
May the learning from this issue of Torah Tidbits be in loving memory of our father, grandfather, great-grandfather
Alfred S. Cohen
on his 16th yahrzeit
by his daughters: Janice Weinreb, Barbara Yasgur, Benay Devorah Cohen-Nesher and families
Honoring
FROM THE DESK OF RABBI MOSHE HAUER
OU EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT
Making America Good Again
There are events and moments that force us to reconsider our fundamental assumptions and relationships. This is true of the tsunami of antisemitism that has surged in America and worldwide.
For decades, the Jewish community has experienced life in the United States virtually free of antisemitism. This was completely in character for a country that looked to create a “great society” that cared for its most vulnerable citizens and was fiercely committed to the protection of the rights of all people to live free from discrimination. It led the great rabbis of America to describe this country as a malchut shel chessed, a kingdom of kindness.
In this context, much of our Jewish government advocacy work focused on getting our fair share of that kindness. As taxpayers, we sought government support for our secular education, as a faith community we pursued
government partnership in our social programs, and as observant Jews we needed protection of our religious liberty.
That dynamic has shifted. The schools and the streets of the malchut shel chessed do not feel exceptionally kind right now. While our elected officials have been supportive of Israel and have unequivocally condemned antisemitism, they have thus far been unsuccessful in curbing the antisemitic bile that is exploding from a coalition of the vicious and the confused. The zealous protection of the right of free speech has enabled an environment in universities, schools, and streets, where the hateful are free to intimidate, demonize, and threaten without fear of consequence. Jewish students in the universities have discovered that higher education can be taught without basic values. All of us have been shocked to witness previously unimaginable expressions of Jew-hatred in the streets of the United States. In meeting after meeting in which we have joined with other Jewish organizational leaders to engage with government officials in pursuit of solutions, genuine tears have been shed by officials who recognize the problem but have not yet found the solution. We hope and pray that the new administration will bring new approaches to address this problem decisively, but there is much to do as there are areas in the land of liberty where things are spiraling out of control, parts of American society where there is neither greatness nor goodness.
This change compels us to shift our own focus from pursuing our fair share of the country’s kindness to ensuring that it endures as a kingdom of kindness. Instead of considering only what our country can do for us, we need to use our presence, our values, and our voice to uplift our country and help it find its way.
In our parsha, we read of Avraham approaching the local authorities for his fair share as a resident and citizen, seeking a simple burial plot for his beloved wife Sarah. He was lobbying the government for something that he needed, but they did not respond to him as to someone making a pitch. Avraham’s life was defined by giving and generosity to others. They therefore addressed him as nesi Elokim , a Godly prince, a person whose presence in their midst uplifted them and brought out the divine image within themselves. Avraham elevated the society around him in a way that ultimately encouraged and elicited their kindness towards him as well.
That is where we need to be today. Our country needs more from us than we need from it. In our efforts for the foreseeable future, we must go beyond protecting ourselves or getting our fair share. We will do our part to uplift our country, to ensure the continuity of America as a truly great society and a kingdom of kindness.
May the Torah learned from this issue of TT be נ”על and in loving memory of our beloved brother
Rabbi Zvi (Howard) Rosner
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Aliya-by-Aliya Sedra Summary
Rabbi Reuven Tradburks
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PARSHAT CHAYEI SARA
Our parsha is the transition from Avraham and Sara to Yitzchak and Rivka; Sara dies at the beginning of the parsha, Avraham toward the end. Avraham buys Ma’arat Hamachpela where Sara is buried. Avraham directs his servant to travel to Avraham’s land to bring a wife for Yitzchak. Upon arrival, the servant asks G-d to show him the right one, the one who will give drink to him and his animals. Rivka appears, does what he had hoped. He tells the story to her family. They agree that she is the one. Yitzchak greets them on their arrival and marries Rivka. Avraham’s other children are listed. Avraham dies. Yishmael’s descendants are listed.
1ST ALIYA (23:1-16)
Sarah dies at age 127 in Kiryat Arba, Chevron. Avraham needs to buy a burial plot. He is treated with nobility and respect. The people want to give him a plot, while he insists on purchasing it. He is successful in buying Ma’arat Hamachpela.
Avraham has clearly earned the respect and admiration of the people. He, in turn, treats them with great respect, bowing twice. The promises made to Avraham, of fame, of fortune and of family, have all been fulfilled. Yitzchak has been born. The people call Avraham a prince of G-d, a sign of his great prominence. And he is wealthy. But. The promise that he would have the Land of Israel? He does not even own a burial plot. Fame, fortune and family, yes; foothold in the Land, no.
In the dialogue to purchase the plot, the word “listen”, “shma” occurs 5 times. You listen to me. No, you listen to me. Back and forth. Until the 6th time Avraham hears and closes the deal. Deals don’t happen when it’s the other guy that needs to hear. Deals happen when we listen.
2ND ALIYA (23:17-24:9)
Sara is buried. Avraham requests from his chief of staff to swear to not have Yitzchak marry a Canaanite. Rather, “go to my land, my birthplace” to find a wife for Yitzchak. Do not take Yitzchak there. If she refuses to come, you have done all you can.
These are the last words of Avraham in the Torah. Though he will live many more years, we do not hear anything else from him. And as such, it serves as a poetic bookend. The first thing said by G-d to him: go from your land, your birthplace. And the last thing said by Avraham to his servant: go to my land, my birthplace to find a wife for Yitzchak.
Avraham seeks a woman who will need to leave her land and her birthplace and come
here. She will walk in my footsteps.
Following in the footsteps will animate Yitzchak and Rivka’s life. Yitzchak will do many of the things that Avraham did – digging the wells, going to Gerar. Rivka will walk in the footsteps of Sara; Sara sent Yishmael away, Rivka will in effect cause Esau to be sent away from the Jewish people.
Perhaps Avraham insists on choosing a wife for Yitzchak who not only follows in their footsteps in journeying to the Land, but experiences the upheavals that moving to a new place entails. All of the Torah is the story of moving to the Land of Israel from elsewhere. Avraham and Sara journey to the Land. Rivka too. Yaakov leaves the Land, returning with his entire family, all newcomers to the Land. And the entire Jewish people leave Egypt to journey to the Land.
Journey to the Land is the story of the Torah. Except for Yitzchak. Yitzchak is the sole figure in the Torah to be born in and never leave Israel.
It is curious in this long narrative that we don’t know the name of the main actor. Avraham addresses his chief of staff. While we commonly refer to him as Eliezer, his name does not appear in this story. He is not the only anonymous person to profoundly influence the story of the Jewish people. He takes his place alongside the man Joseph will encounter on his way to see his brothers, who steers Joseph in their direction. Both nameless. As if to say: is he finding a wife? Or is He finding the wife for Yitzchak? Many messengers has He.
3RD ALIYA (24:10-26)
The servant arrives in Nachor’s city. He asks G-d for a sign; the woman who gives me and my camels to drink,
she is the one. Rivka appears and does just that. She tells him she is from the family of Nachor. And there is food for the camels and room for him to stay. The man bows to G-d. Rivka is not only going to walk in Sara’s footsteps, leaving her home to go to the Land of Israel. She also follows in the footsteps of kindness. In the story of Avraham and Sara’s generosity to the 3 men at the beginning of Vayeira, there are 2 “ratz – run” and 2 “maher – fast”; they served their guests enthusiastically. Rivka has 2 maher’s and 1 ratz here and then another when she runs home.
And – Avraham offered his guests “a little water”. Here too the servant asks for “a little water”. Not sure that drawing water for 10 camels would be called a little – a camel can drink up to 100 liters. And she is drawing the water with the jug that she carries on her shoulder. But nary a peep of objection from Rivka. She is an enthusiastic and magnanimous woman of enormous generosity, just like the family of Avraham.
4TH ALIYA (24:27-52)
Rivka runs to tell her mother. Her brother Lavan greets the man, welcomes him in. But before he eats, the man insists on relating what just happened. He relates that he is Avraham’s servant. And that Avraham has been blessed. And is insistent on bringing a wife for Yitzchak from his family. And of his own deal with G-d: that if the woman did as he had said, he would see it as a sign. And his bowing to G-d. He finishes by asking them if Rivka shall join him. They respond yes; he bows to G-d.
This long narrative has many lessons. But one thing does jump out: the G-d talk. There is a lot of G-d talk by this servant. But not just the servant; Lavan and Betuel respond
“this has come from G-d”, “she will go as G-d spoke”. Talk of G-d does not seem foreign to them. Perhaps this is the lingering effect of Avraham’s influence; even after all these years of being away from his family, the influence of his belief in G-d still persists. And the servant, the chief of staff’s language is deeply religious language – he certainly has been profoundly influenced by Avraham’s calling in the name of G-d.
5TH
ALIYA (24:53-67)
The servant is ready to leave. When Rivka’s mother and brother ask for a little more time, the servant presses them. They ask Rivka her wish; she will go. They bless her. Upon their arrival in the Negev, Yitzchak is coming from Beer L’chai Roi. He sees the camels; she sees him. Yitzchak is told of all that occurred. Yitzchak and Rivka marry.
With the mission to find a wife for Yitzchak successful, someone is missing from this return: Avraham. They travel right to Yitzchak. Rivka and he marry. And Avraham is not heard from again. A true passing of the baton.
Why is it necessary to tell us Yitzchak was in Beer L’chai Roi? In fact, he returns there and resides there after Avraham’s death. Why?
That is the place where Yishmael was saved from near death after being banished by Sarah. Perhaps Yitzchak regrets Yishmael’s banishment and seeks to make peace with his brother. We will see that he does the same later with his own sons; he seems to want both Yaakov and Esav to continue his legacy. The men seem to want reconciliation; the women see the need to be definitive. Sarah banishes Yishmael. Rivka banishes Esav.
Yet, Avraham is reluctant to send Yishmael away and Yitzchak seeks reconciliation with Yishmael and seeks to bless Esav. The women prevail. The Torah sides with the women; Yitzchak and not Yishmael, Yaakov and not Esav are the forefathers, the bearers of the legacy of Avraham.
6TH ALIYA (25:1-11)
Avraham marries Keturah; they have 6 sons. All that Avraham has he gives to Yitzchak; these are sent eastward with gifts. Avraham dies at age 175; he is buried by Yitzchak and Yishmael in Maarat Hamachpela. Yitzchak is blessed by G-d: he lives in Beer L’chai Roi.
The transition from Avraham to Yitzchak is complete. While G-d has been a silent partner in this parsha, here He completes the generational transfer – He blesses Yitzchak. The Jewish people will be Yitzchak and not Yishmael.
7TH ALIYA (25:12-18)
The generations of Yishmael are enumerated. Yishmael dies. His descendants dwell from Egypt to Assyria.
Yishmael’s story is brief. He has numerous and powerful offspring. But the genealogy here is intriguing. The last aliya last week enumerated Nachor’s children. 12. This last aliya this week enumerates Yishmael’s children. 12. In a few weeks we will enumerate Yaakov’s. 12. And Esav. 10.
Now if we wanted to detect a pattern of children in each generation, here it is: Avraham, 8. Nachor, 12. Yitzchak, 2. Yishmael, 12. Esau, 10. Yaakov, 12.
In each generation, the ones who are not in the Jewish line have 12. Nachor, 12. Yishmael, 12. The Jewish line varies. Avraham, 8. Yitzchak, 2. If Yaakov has 12, he fits in the
wrong side. The 12ers are the non-Jewish siblings. Esav has 10. He should fit in the side of the inconsistent numbers. Avraham 8, Yitzchak, 2, Esav, 10.
Wish I had an explanation.
HAFTORAH
1 MELACHIM 1: 1-31
The theme of this week’s haftorah echoes the theme in our parsha which mentions both the death of Sarah and Avraham.
King David was an older man and a woman was assigned to him to serve him and provide warmth.
Adoniyahu, one of King David’s sons, began to prepare for ascension to his father’s throne. This was despite the fact that King David expressed his wishes that his son Shlomo succeed him.
Adoniyahu convinces two very significant personalities - the High Priest and the commander of King David’s armies - to champion his cause.
Adoniyahu arranged to be transported in a chariot with fifty people running before him. He then invited supporters to a festive party to promote his aspirations to attain the royalty.
At this time Natan communicates with Batsheva, mother of Shlomo, and conveys to her the importance of approaching King David and pleading with him that he articulate his choice of Shlomo to be the next king.
King David responds positively to this request. He says the following: “Indeed, as I swore to you by the Lord God of Israel saying, ‘Surely Shlomo, your son, shall reign after me and he shall sit on my throne in my stead, surely, so will I swear this day.”
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STATS
5th of the 54 sedras; 5th of 12 in Bereshit. Written on 171 lines in a Torah, rank 37th.
4 Parshiyot; 3 open, 1 closed.
105 pesukim - ranks 32 (11 in Bereishit).
1402 words - ranks 37th (11 in Bereshit). 5314 letters - ranks 36th (11 in Bereshit).
MITZVOT
None of the 613 mitzvot are in Chayei Sara, however, as we mention often, there are Midot and values and other lessons to be learned. This is one of 17 mitzvah-less sedras, 9 of which are in Sefer Bereshit, 3 in Shemot, none in Vayikra, 2 in Bamidbar, and 3 in Devarim.
THE PERSON in the parsha
THE PERSON IN THE PARSHA
BY RABBI DR. TZVI HERSH WEINREB OU EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT, EMERITUS
BY RABBI DR. TZVI HERSH WEINREB OU EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT, EMERITUS
Yes, Sarah Is in the Parsha
The opening verses in this week’s Torah portion (Genesis 23:1-25:18) inform us of the death of Sarah:
“The span of Sarah’s life came to one hundred and twenty-seven years. She died in Kiryat Arba—now Chevron—in the land of Canaan; and Avraham came to eulogize Sarah and weep for her.” (Verses 1 and 2)
A bit later we are told “… And then Avraham buried his wife Sarah in the cave of the field of Machpelah, facing Mamre—now Chevron—in the land of Canaan.” (Verse 19)
After that, there is no mention of Sarah in the entire parsha! How can I possibly dedicate my weekly column, which I have entitled “Person in the Parsha,” to a woman whose name appears only after her death, and who plays no active role in this week’s narrative?
But wait! She is indeed mentioned much later in the story, when her son Isaac takes a bride, Rebecca. There we learn, “… Isaac then brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he took Rebecca as his wife. Isaac loved her, and thus found comfort after his mother’s death.” (Chapter 24, verse 67)
Nevertheless, how can I justify choosing Sarah as a “person in the parsha” when she plays no “living” role in the entire episode?
Yes, she is mentioned in a praiseworthy manner, but does she remain a heroine after her death?
I insist that she does, but to prove it, I will have to return to the opening verses above, where we learn of her grief-stricken husband’s hesped and bechi, “eulogy” and “weeping”.
To demonstrate the “presence” of the deceased person even after that person’s death, I must first define the terms “eulogy”/ hesped and “shedding tears”/bechi and then distinguish between them. For this purpose, I will share with you three comments upon the opening verses of our parsha by three great mid-nineteenth century commentators, all three contemporaries with each other but with three different approaches to the text. They are Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehudah Berlin, Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch, and Rabbi Yaakov Tzvi Mecklenburg, zecher tzaddikim l’vracha, of blessed memory.
Let me begin with Rav Hirsch, Rabbi of Frankfurt, Germany, who wrote his commentary on the Pentateuch/Chumash in German, but which I study in a Hebrew translation.
Rav Hirsch is often very creative in his interpretations, sometimes daringly so.
He comments on the phrase “and Avraham came to eulogize and weep.” “Came from where?”, he asks.
This is a question that many much earlier commentators ask as well, and they generally answer that Avraham had come from Beersheba to Chevron, since, as we read in the final
chapter of last week’s parsha, he had returned to Beersheba directly from the akeidah the “binding of Isaac.” It was in Beersheba that he learned of Sarah’s demise in Chevron, and so he “came” there to bury her.
Rav Hirsch strongly rejects this approach. He insists, as was his wont, that the word vayavo/”and he came” often means “he with drew”, or “he secluded himself”. Thus, Avra ham withdrew from the public that sought to comfort him so that he refused to address an audience. Instead, his “eulogy” was his own inner response to his personal tragedy, and he secluded himself in a place where he could tearfully and emotionally grieve for his life-partner. The “eulogy” was not a performance before an audience. Rather, it was his self-expression of torment. His “tears” were shed in the presence of the One Above alone. Only in his own private space could he “shed tears” and “eulogize” his beloved, and only afterwards could he “go public” and negotiate for a proper burial place for Sarah.
Rav Mecklenburg takes an entirely different approach. He reports that in his experience, the mourner first “sheds tears” and only afterwards presents a “eulogy”. First, there is a deeply emotional and wholly personal reaction, tears of pain and heartfelt grief. Then, the mourner composes himself somewhat and formulates a verbal description of the person he lost so that others can know who the deceased was in his or her lifetime.
But Avraham reverses the sequence: first, the relatively calm public assessment of his wife’s life of great account, and only then, the bitter tears of personal loss and bereavement. “Why this reversal?”, asks the author of HaKsav V’HaKabbalah, the rabbi of the town of Koenigsburg.
His answer is a profoundly religious one. Avraham, he correctly assumes, faithfully believed that “the righteous in their death are greater than in their lifetimes.” (Chulin 7b) His priority was to convey Sarah’s life of piety, compassion, and achievement to a wide audience. That was and remains the purpose of a eulogy in Jewish tradition. It is an assertion of the valuable life that the deceased lived and not primarily an expression of grief.
Only after the eulogy accomplished its mission did Avraham allow himself a tear or two, and perhaps, suggests Rav Mecklenburg, that is why the letter “kaf” in the word “to weep for her”/v’livkosa is reduced in size in the Torah scroll.
Rav Naftali Tzvi Yehudah Berlin, the Dean of Volozhin, the “mother of all yeshivos”, and author of Haamek Davar, has yet another approach to our concern. He sees the “tears”
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as the mourner’s expression of his or her own reaction to the loss of a loved one, and the “eulogy” as a kind of biography of the deceased for the benefit of those who did not know much about the person who just died. Avraham did not “lose” Sarah when she passed away. She left behind a son, a heritage, a model of a way of life. His tears were thus secondary to the educational message that he felt he needed to convey and that he knew that Sarah would have wanted him to continue to propagate.
Sarah, although no longer among the living, is nevertheless a “person in this parsha”. She plays a vital role even after her demise. She is still “present” for Avraham, for his very wide and diverse audience, and for her beloved son Isaac, who attributes the joy he experi ences with his new wife to the fact that she reminds him of his mother!
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our dear parents whose yahrtzeits are in Kislev
been memorialized in a popular song, "An eternal people does not fear the long and
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Patience is necessary for those who follow Isaac's way. But a wise woman taught us that patience is but another name for hope. That woman was Jane Austen, who put these words into the mouth of one of the characters in her great novel, Sense and Sensibility: "Know your own happiness. You want nothing but patience—or give it a more fascinating name: call it hope."
In observance of the Shloshim of our friend Yehuda Leib Berren z"l
Rav Menachem Weinberg will give a shiur in his memory "Heroic Joy"
23
FURNITURE DOCT
Covenant & Conversation
COVENANT & CONVERSATION
THOUGHTS ON THE WEEKLY PARSHA
RABBI LORD JONATHAN SACKS ZT"L
RABBI LORD JONATHAN SACKS ZT"L
FORMER CHIEF RABBI OF THE UNITED HEBREW CONGREGATIONS OF THE COMMONWEALTH
FORMER CHIEF RABBI OF THE UNITED HEBREW CONGREGATIONS OF THE COMMONWEALTH
May the learning of these Divrei Torah be
HaRav Ya'akov Zvi ben David Arieh zt"l
The Next Chapter
One of the most striking features about Judaism in comparison with, say, Christianity or Islam, is that it is impossible to answer the question: Who is the central character of the drama of faith? In both of the other Abrahamic monotheisms the answer is obvious. In Judaism, it is anything but. Is it Abraham, the founder of the covenantal family? Is it Jacob, who gave his name Israel to our people and its land? Moses, the liberator and lawgiver? David, the greatest of Israel’s kings? Solomon, the builder of the Temple and the author of its literature of wisdom? Isaiah, the poet laureate of hope? And among women there is a similar richness and diversity. It is as if the birth of monotheism – the uncompromising unity of the creative, revelatory and redemptive forces at work in the universe – created space for the full diversity of the human condition to emerge. So Abraham, whose life draws to its close in this week’s Parsha, is an individual rather than an archetype. Neither Isaac nor Jacobnor anyone else for that matter - is quite like
him. And what strikes us is the sheer serenity of the end of his life. In a series of vignettes, we see him, wise and forward-looking, taking care of the future, tying up the loose ends of a life of deferred promises.
First, he makes the first acquisition of a plot in the land he has been assured will one day belong to his descendants. Then, leaving nothing to chance, he arranges a wife for Isaac, the son he knows will be heir to the covenant.
Astonishingly, he remains full of vigour and takes a new wife, by whom he has six children. Then, to avoid any possible contest over succession or inheritance, he gives all six gifts and then sends them away before he dies. Finally we read of his demise, the most serene description of death in the Torah:
Then Abraham breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years; and he was gathered to his people. (Gen. 25:8)
One is almost tempted to forget how much heartache he has suffered in his life: the wrenching separation from “his father’s house,” the conflicts and aggravations of his nephew Lot, the two occasions on which he has to leave the land because of famine, both of which cause him to fear for his life; the long drawn-out wait for a son, the conflict between Sarah and Hagar, and the double trial of having to send Ishmael away and
seemingly almost to lose Isaac also.
Somehow we sense in Abraham the beauty and power of a faith that places its trust in God so totally that there is neither apprehension nor fear. Abraham is not without emotion. We sense it in his anguish at the displacement of Ishmael and his protest against the apparent injustice of the destruction of Sodom. But he places himself in God’s hands. He does what is incumbent on him to do, and he trusts God to do what He says He will do. There is something sublime about his faith.
Yet the Torah – even in this week’s Parsha, after the supreme trial of the Binding of Isaac – gives us a glimpse of the continuing challenge to his faith. Sarah has died. Abraham has nowhere to bury her. Time after time, God has promised him the land: as soon as he arrives in Canaan we read, ‘The Lord appeared to Abram and said, “To your offspring I will give this land”’ (Gen. 12:7).
Then in the next chapter after he has separated from Lot, God says “Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you” (Gen. 13:17). And again two chapters later, “I am the Lord, who brought you out of Ur of the Chaldeans to give you this land to take possession of it” (Gen. 15:7).
And so on, seven times in all. Yet now Abraham owns not one square inch in which to bury his wife. This sets the scene for one of the most complex encounters in Bereishit, in which Abraham negotiates for the right to buy a field and a cave.
It is impossible in a brief space to do justice to the undertones of this fascinating exchange. Here is how it opens:
Then Abraham rose up from before his dead, and spoke to the Hittites, saying, “I am an alien and a stranger among you. Sell me
some property for a burial site here so I can bury my dead.” The Hittites replied to Abraham, “Hear us, my lord. You are a prince of God among us. Bury your dead in the choicest of our tombs. None of us will refuse you his tomb for burying your dead.” (Genesis 23:3)
Abraham signals his relative powerlessness. He may be wealthy. He has large flocks and herds. Yet he lacks the legal right to own land. He is “an alien and a stranger.” The Hittites, with exquisite diplomacy, reply with apparent generosity but deflect his request. By all means, they say, bury your dead, but for that, you do not need to own land. We will allow you to bury her, but the land will remain ours. Even then they do not commit themselves. They use a double negative: “None of us will refuse . . .” It is the beginning of an elaborate minuet. Abraham, with a politeness to equal theirs, refuses to be sidetracked:
Then Abraham rose and bowed down before the people of the land, the Hittites. He said to them, “If you are willing to let me bury my dead, then listen to me and intercede with Ephron son of Zohar on my behalf so he will sell me the cave of Machpelah, which belongs to him and is at the end of his field. Ask him to sell it to me for the full price as a burial site among you.” (Genesis 23:8)
He takes their vague commitment and gives it sharp definition. If you agree that I may bury my dead, then you must agree that I should be able to buy the land in which to do so. And if you say no one will refuse me, then surely you can have no objection to persuading the man who owns the field I wish to buy.
Ephron the Hittite was sitting among his people and he replied to Abraham in the hearing of all the Hittites who had come to
the gate of his city. “No, my lord,” he said. “Listen to me; I give you the field, and I give you the cave that is in it. I give it to you in the presence of my people. Bury your dead.”
Again, an elaborate show of generosity that is nothing of the kind. Three times Ephron said, “I give it to you,” yet he did not mean it, and Abraham knew he did not mean it.
Again Abraham bowed down before the people of the land and he said to Ephron in their hearing, “Listen to me, if you will. I will pay the price of the field. Accept it from me so I can bury my dead there.” Ephron answered Abraham, “Listen to me, my lord; the land is worth four hundred shekels of silver, but what is that between me and you? Bury your dead.”
Far from giving the field away, Ephron is insisting on a vastly inflated price, while seeming to dismiss it as a mere trifle: “What is that between me and you?” Abraham immediately pays the price, and the field is finally his.
What we see in this brief but beautifully nuanced passage is the sheer vulnerability of Abraham. For all that the local townsmen seem to pay him deference, he is entirely at their mercy. He has to use all his negotiating skill, and in the end he must pay a large sum for a small piece of land. It all seems an impossibly long way from the vision God has painted for him of the entire country one day becoming a home for his descendants. Yet Abraham is content. The next chapter begins with the words:
Abraham was now old and well advanced in years, and the Lord had blessed him in all things. (Genesis 24:1)
That is the faith of an Abraham. The man promised as many children as the stars of the
sky has one child to continue the covenant. The man promised the land “from the river of Egypt to the great river, the River Euphrates”1 has acquired one field and a tomb. But that is enough. The journey has begun. Abraham knows “It is not for you to complete the task.” He can die content.
One phrase shines through the negotiation with the Hittites. They acknowledge Abraham, the alien and stranger, as “a prince of God in our midst.” The contrast with Lot could not be greater. Recall that Lot had abandoned his distinctiveness. He had made his home in Sodom. His daughters had married local men. He “sat in the gate”2 of the town implying that he had become one of the elders or judges. Yet when he resisted the people who were intent on abusing his visitors, they said, “This fellow came here as an alien, and now he wants to play the judge!” (Gen. 19:9).
Lot, who assimilated, was scorned. Abraham, who fought and prayed for his neighbors but maintained his distance and difference, was respected. So it was then. So it is now. Non-Jews respect Jews who respect Judaism. Non-Jews disrespect Jews who disrespect Judaism.
So, at the end of his life, we see Abraham, dignified, satisfied, serene. There are many types of hero in Judaism, but few as majestic as the man who first heard the call of God and began the journey we still continue.
1. Genesis 15:18 2. Genesis 19:1
These weekly teachings from Rabbi Sacks zt”l are part of his ‘Covenant & Conversation’ series on the weekly Torah teaching. With thanks to the Schimmel Family for their generous sponsorship, dedicated in loving memory of Harry (Chaim) Schimmel. Visit www.RabbiSacks.org for more.
PROBING THE PROPHETS
BY RABBI NACHMAN (NEIL) WINKLER FACULTY, OU ISRAEL CENTER
Different, Yet Similar
There is little reason to wonder why our ancient scholars chose the very first chapter of the Book of M’lachim , as a fitting haftarah reading for this week’s parasha. The events narrated in this perek tell of the final days of David HaMelech – much as the parasha of Chaye Sarah relates the final days of Avraham Avinu. Indeed, the parallels that we find between the parasha and today’s haftarah are quite striking. The Torah reading details Avraham’s calculated measures to prepare his son Yitzchak for the future leadership and patriarchate of the Abrahamic clan. Likewise, our haftarah includes David Hamelech’s measures to assure that the leadership of his reign be handed over to his son, Shlomo. Additionally, the opening words of the haftarah, “V’Hamelch David zaken-ba bayamim” echo the very words that describe Avraham in our
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parasha: “V’Avraham zaken-ba bayamim”. Certainly, both readings seem to be quite analogous to each other.
And yet, I would suggest that the contrast between the two readings is more striking than the comparisons.
Our parasha depicts an almost idyllic scene. “VaShem berach et Avraham bakol”, Hashem blessed Avraham with everything: a fully functional and cognizant Avraham sends his servant on a mission to choose a wife for Yitzchak The servant succeeds in that mission, Yitzchak accepts the servant’s choice and he grows to love his new wife, who, subsequently, takes over from Sarah in an almost seamless fashion. The family has been secured by the selection of Rivka and the unchallenged choice of Yitzchak to succeed his father. Avraham Avinu passes on with the knowledge that G-d’s blessing to him would be carried on by his chosen son.
The haftarah, on the other hand, paints a very different picture. Here, the aging regent makes no independent decision regarding the immediate future, seemingly too weak to be involved in palace intrigue, a weakness that is utilized by his oldest surviving son. As a result, Adoniya rebels against his father’s choice of successor by garnering support from many former supporters of David and, eventually, by declaring himself king. Throughout all of this, the king is blissfully unaware of what was taking place until his wife and prophet delicately break the news to him. And so, while a vigorous Avraham
is reluctant to send Yishmael away and Yitzchak seeks reconciliation with Yishmael and seeks to bless Esav.
Avinu took an active role in shaping the future leadership, David Hamelech can take only a passive role, reacting only when his wife, Bat Sheva, and his prophet, Natan, report the threat to his throne and advise him to publicize his true successor. Only then does the King have his son, Shlomo, publicly crowned and placed on the throne.
6th Aliya (25:1-11) Avraham marries Keturah; they have 6 sons. All that Avraham has goes to Yitzchak; these are sent eastward with gifts. Avraham dies at age 175; he is buried by Yitzchak and Yishmael in Ma’arat Hamachpelah. Yitzchak is blessed by G-d: he lives in Beer L’chai Roi.
The devious plots and wily intrigues that haunted King David’s final days, differ sharply from the pastoral and peaceful setting that blessed Avraham’s old age.
The transition from Avraham to Yitzchak is complete. While G-d has been a silent partner in this parsha, here He completes the generational transfer – He blesses Yitzchak. The Jewish people will be Yitzchak and not Yishmael.
is to emphasize that the Torah is not as interested in the history of power as in the history of the covenant of G-d with the Jewish people. And that will be told at great length.
HAFTORAH CHAYEI SARAH 1 KINGS 1: 1-31
The theme of this week’s haftorah echoes the theme in our parsha which mentions both the death of Sarah and Avraham.
King David was an older man and a woman was assigned to him to serve him and provide warmth.
7th Aliya (25:12-18) The generations of Yishmael are enumerated. Yishmael dies. His descendants dwell from Egypt to Assyria. Yishmael’s story is brief. He has numerous and powerful offspring. The brevity
And yet, there is an underlying commonality between the two saintly leaders. HaRav Yissachar Ya’akovson points out that Avraham Avinu was described by G-d as one who would teach his descendants “la’asot tz’daka umishpat”, to do kindness and justice, and it was David Hamelech who, despite the “stormy” years, was able to carry on that very lesson modeled by the first patriarch, for he depicted as an “oseh tz’daka umishpat lchol ammo”, one who acted with kindness and justice to his entire nation.
A SHORT VORT
Adoniyahu, one of King David’s sons, began to prepare for ascension to his father’s throne. This was despite the fact that King David expressed his wishes that his son Shlomo succeed him.
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Both lived through different final years, but both carried on Hashem’s wishes of mercy, justice and kindness.
When Avraham addresses the people of Cheit, trying to acquire a burial spot for his wife, he says “Ger V’Toshav Anochi Eimachem” (23:4) “A Stranger and a Resident am I with you”
And that might very well be the reason why they are still blessed by Israel with similar berachot: “Magen Avraham” and “Magen David”.
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This seems to be a contradiction. If one is a stranger than he is not a resident, if he is a resident than he is no longer a stranger. What did Avraham mean?
The Magid of Dubno (Jacob ben Wolf Kranz 1741-1804) explains that Avraham watched how he spoke in this tense situation in order to, both, state his truth and be able to keep the peace -Shalom Bayit. Avraham said, on the one hand, “I am a Resident’ due to G-d’s promise to receive this Land and on the other hand, I still need your agreement to purchase a plot. In other words, Avraham implied “I am the resident” and you are the “strangers”, while they understood him as saying that “they” are the residents and Avraham is the stranger. The peace was kept, and Avraham remained true to his ideals. Shabbat Shalom
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ROSH BAIS MEDRASH ENGLISH SPEAKING
Mincha –A Sincere Sacrifice
And Yitzhak went forth to pray in the field towards evening… (Bereshit 24:63).
The Gemara in Berachot (26b) derives from the pasuk above, that Yitzhak initiated Tefillat Mincha. The term חושל – relates to a conversation as it appears in Tehillim (102:1):
A prayer for a poor man when he enwraps himself and pours out his speech before Hashem.
Why is the tefillah that Yitzak prayed in the afternoon called “Mincha”? It makes sense that the morning tefillah which is recited in the רחש is referred to as תירחש. It also is quite logical that the tefillah that
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is recited at night ברעב is referred to as תיברע. Why is the middle tefillah recited in the afternoon not called םירהצ תליפת but rather החנמ תליפת?
The Tosefet Bracha offers an insightful explanation based on a suggestion of the Tur (OH 232) and a Gemara in Menachot (104b).
MINCHA – INTERRUPTS BUSY DAY
The Tur explains that one should be very careful with respect to davening Mincha because it is the most challenging tefillah. It is easy to daven when we wake up in the morning. Before we get busy with our daily activities, we pray. Similarly, Maariv is recited at the end of the day, after we finish our daily chores. However, Mincha is recited in the middle of the day. I may be engaged in a heated negotiation at the office, a class in school, carpool with kids, yet, I have to stop what I am doing, take a break and daven Mincha! That is why it is beloved in the eyes of Hashem. One has to sacrifice time in the middle of the day in order to stop and pray.
NEFESH
The Gemara in Menachot highlights that in connection with the Korban Mincha the term “nefesh” is used.
And if a soul (nefesh) brings a mincha offering to Hashem.. (Vayikra 2:1)
Why is the term nefesh - שפנ used rather than םדא or שיא? Who typically offers a Mincha sacrifice? A Mincha consists of flour and oil. It was brought by poor individuals. Imagine the scene at the Mikdash – people
offering ox and sheep and all a poor individual can bring is flour and oil. Yet, Hashem recognizes that this poor individual is sincere and these items are valuable to him. It stems from his nefesh! That is why such a sacrifice is considered a ‘Mincha” – it is a true, sincere gift that finds favor in Hashem’s eyes.
Putting the Tur and Gemara together, the tefillah of Mincha is the hardest to fulfill. One has to “sacrifice” time in their busy schedule, smack in the middle of the day, to engage in Mincha. Hashem recognizes that – as the sacrifice of the poor individual truly stems from the ‘nefesh” so does our Mincha prayer.
May we take special care in fulfilling our obligation of davening three times a day, but especially to seek to daven Mincha with a minyan – illustrating our sincere sacrifice,
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Sarah – Sarah had lived to be 127 years old. [These were] the years of Sarrah’s life.”
(Bereisheet 23:1) Why is it necessary to repeat the phrase, “the years of Sarah’s life”? What does it add to our understanding of the events and how is it relevant to us?
Rav Pam zt”l explains that it is very common after a family experiences the death of a relative to hear members of the family wondering if things would have been different had they done alternative treatments or seen another doctor, perhaps they could have added time to their loved one’s life. Rav Pam emphasizes the error in such speculation. Hashem ordains for every person his exact time to live. Therefore, to think, “had the Satan not come to Sara Imeinu and scared her with the news of the Akeidah things would have turned out differently,” is erroneous. Thus, the Torah repeats the phrase, “shenei Chayei Sarah,” to stress that these were the years of Sarah’s life, she
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lived exactly the number of years that she was allotted in this world.
Rashi famously comments that this verse teaches us that all the days of Sarah’s life were equally good. Rashi is teaching us that Sarah Imeinu possessed the superb quality of bitachon. Although Sara Imeinu experienced many difficulties in her life, barrenness, two kidnappings, wanderings, conflict with Hagar, from her perspective, everything she went through was good. Chovot Halevavot explains that bitachon helps us recognize that everything Hashem does is ultimately good.
The Sefat Emet zt”l notes that from Sara Imeinu’s viewpoint, the years of challenge were equal in goodness to the years that she experienced revealed goodness with the birth of her son, Yitzchak Avinu. Rav Avraham Schorr in Halekach Vehalebuv quotes the idea that this is the deeper meaning of “sheviti Hashem le’negdi tamid.” Sheviti, literally means “to place,” but is related to the Hebrew word “shaveh,” equal. We must develop our capacity to react with equanimity when we encounter the Divine attribute of mercy, expressed in ‘Hashem,’ as well as when we encounter situations that feel ‘against’ us, le’negdi.
Rav Schorr further explains that the word yashar, straight, contains the same letters as the word shir, song. A song is composed of lower notes and higher notes to create a beautiful melody. Similarly, one must see the highs and lows of life as part of one masterpiece and serve Hashem with the same level of faith and commitment throughout. It is significant that
the two songs recorded in the Torah reflect these two dimensions. Shirat Hayam was a high point in Jewish History, an experience of Hashem’s presence with great clarity. Shirat Ha’azinu is the song that describes the exile and punishment of the Jewish people. This dichotomy characterizes the story of our People on a collective as well as on an individual level and it is imperative that we learn to sing during both of these times.
Shabbat is a time when one can step back, see and appreciate the larger picture of Hashem’s goodness. We greet Shabbat with song and indeed, the song designated for Shabbat concludes with “le’hagid ki yashar Hashem.” Shabbat affords us the opportunity to align ourselves with Sarah Imeinu’s equanimity to face every situation with an attitude of serenity and confidence in Hashem’s total goodness.
RABBI JUDAH
JUDAH MISCHEL
Executive Director, Camp HASC Author of Baderech: Along the Path of Teshuva (Mosaica 2021)
Mischel EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, CAMP HASC AUTHOR OF BADERECH: ALONG THE PATH OF TESHUVA (MOSAICA 2021)
Sacrifice & Honor
The jihadist pogroms of 1929 referred to as ‘Meora’ot Tarpat’ (literally, the ‘events of 5689’) claimed the lives of 133 Jews, and injured hundreds more. In cities across Eretz Yisrael mobs of Muslim rioters rampaged through Jewish communities murdering and pillaging as incited and encouraged by the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, Hajj Amin al-Husayni, yemach shemo. Later, this embodiment of evil would collaborate with the Nazis and recruit Muslims to join the Waffen-SS.
The attack on the Jewish “ghetto” of Chevron was particularly horrific. Hordes of jihadis swarmed in and killed 69 Jews, including 24 talmidim of Yeshivas Knesses Yisrael, the famed Slabodka Yeshiva. Defenseless women, children and elderly were butchered in unimaginably cruel ways, and the Jewish community of Chevron was all but destroyed, shaking the international Jewish community.
Rav Simcha Raz’s classic biography of the Rav Avraham Yitzchak haKohen Kook, zy’a, An Angel Among Men (translated by Rav Moshe D. Lichtman) describes the tzadik’s actions behind the scenes:
When news of the deadly rioting in Chevron reached the Jewish leadership in Yerushalayim, a delegation including Rav Kook hurried to meet Sir Harry Luke, the acting
British High Commissioner. They urge him to take immediate action to protect the Jews of Chevron and measures against the Arab rioters, but were met with a cold, response:
‘What can be done?’ asked Luke. Rav Kook’s face turned red with emotion. ‘They must be stopped,” he cried, “shoot them!” ‘I have not received any such orders,’ retorted the British official. “In the name of human dignity, I am ordering you!” The soul-less commissioner dismissed the Rav’s pleas, and the carnage continued.
When the riots finally subsided, it became clear that the British authorities had actually cooperated with the jihadist rioters. Rav Kook publicly held the commissioner responsible for British inaction during a subsequent massacre. Sometime later, the Rav crossed paths with Luke who cordially held out his hand to greet the Chief Rabbi. To the shock of many, Rav Kook refused to shake it, protesting sharply, “I will not shake a hand stained with Jewish blood!”
The Rav’s bold stance made a profound impression upon those gathered, and word spread throughout the Jewish world. ‘Israel Prize’-winning author Avigdor HaMe’iri testified: “If not for one unique, extraordinary man, who stood guard over our national pride, we would now be rending our garments over the loss of our honor as well.”
Six months after the massacre, still reeling and in shock, grieving crowds of survivors and family members gathered in Yerushalayim at the old Beit Knesset Yeshurun for
an azkarah. Rav Kook, regal in his shtreimel, ascended to the podium.
“The holy martyrs of Chevron do not need a ‘memorial’ service,” he announced. “The Jewish people can never forget the holy and pure souls who were slaughtered by those murderers and vile thugs. Rather, we must remember and remind the Jewish people not to forget the city of the Patriarchs. Am Yisrael must know what Chevron means to us.
“We have an ancient tradition: Maaseh avos, siman labanim, ‘The actions of the fathers are signposts for their descendants.”
When the weak-hearted Meraglim, the Biblical spies, arrived at Chevron, they were frightened by the fierce nations inhabiting the Land. But Calev quieted the people for Moshe. ‘We must go forth and conquer the Land,’ he said. ‘We can do it!’ (Bamidbar, 13:30)
“Despite the terrible tragedy that took place in Chevron, we hereby announce to the world, ‘Our strength is now like our strength was then!’ We will not abandon our holy places and sacred aspirations. Chevron is the city of our fathers and mothers, of Me’aras HaMachpeilah… It is the city of David haMelech, the cradle of our sovereign monarchy.
“Those who discourage the efforts to restore the Jewish community in Chevron with arguments of political expediency; those who scorn and say, ‘What are those wretched Jews doing?’ — those who refuse to help rebuild Chevron — they are attacking the very roots of our people. In the future, they will be held accountable for their deeds. If ruffians and hooligans have repaid our kindness with malice, we have only one eternal response: הנבת דוע, it will yet be rebuilt Jewish Chevron will once again be built up, in all its honor and glory!
“The inner meaning of Chevron is to draw strength and galvanize ourselves with the power of Netzach Yisrael, the Eternity of Israel. That proud Jew, Calev, announced years later, חלש
אובלו… “I am still as strong today as on the day that Moshe sent me; my strength is the same now as it was then, for battle and for action!” (Yehoshua, 14:11)
While we have experienced striking similarities and painful parallels to the horrors of 1929 in our own generation, much has changed since Tarpat. Sovereignty and statehood have empowered us to defend ourselves and to fight back. As we witness over and over in the faith and sacrifice of our chayalim and their families, “Our strength is even greater now than it was then, for battle and for action!” We are on the path of redemption and rebuilding, reclaiming our national honor and k’vod shomayim. As Rav Kook, zy’a, concluded his moving words of hesped and chizuk almost a century ago: “We shall reestablish Chevron in even greater glory, with peace and security for every Jew. With God’s help, we will merit to see Chevron completely rebuilt, speedily in our days!”
In the merit of our Avos and Imahos, and in the merit of the awesome heroism and dedication of our soldiers, so may it be in the South, the North and throughout all of Eretz Yisrael haShleimah.
SIMCHAT SHMUEL
BY RABBI SAM SHOR
Program Director, OU Israel Center
BY RABBI SAM SHOR PROGRAM DIRECTOR, OU ISRAEL CENTER
Our Sedra this week opens with the passing of Sara Imeinu. The pasuk tells us:
‘V’Tamat Sara B’Kiryat Arba, Hee Chevron...’ And Sara died in Kiryat Arba, which is Chevron....’
Rav Kook zy’a, explained that Chevron is from the word-Chibur- to be joined together and connected. Chevron, represents the eternal connection we feel with our ancestors. It is in Chevron where David begins his royal reign, and it is David’s descendant who will , B’ezrat Hashem, soon be revealed as Mashiach Tzidkeinu, and usher in a transformation in the world to a time of pure goodness,decency and spiritual clarity. Chevron, therefore represents the joining together of both the roots of Jewish history, and the foreshadowing of Jewish destiny.
It’s no coincidence that in Ivrit, the word for moving forward-kadima, has as its root, the word kedem, meaning that which precedes or comes before. In order for Am Yisrael, to move forward and become who we are truly destined to be, we must always remain connected to and learn from those who have come before us, our Avot and Imahot. and the values and legacy they have left for each of us.
Similarly the Malbim zt’l, explains that Chevron is called Chevron because it is there that the spirit is joined with the physical, the upper worlds are joined with this world....
On this Shabbat when our hearts turn toward Chevron Ir Hakodesh, the city of Chibur , and as we prepare for a major transition in the annals of the OU Israel
Community, with our pending relocation from our long-time home on Keren HaYesod Street in Yerushalayim, it is also the time for us to contemplate this idea of Chibur in relationship to one another. Indeed the well known pasuk in Tehillim states: Yerushalayim HaBenuya, K’Ir Shechubra la YachdavYerushalyim as it is built, is a city which is joined together and united.
Once again we turn to the words of the Malbim, who explains this well known verse from Tehillim as follows: “Yerushalayim is a city through which and for which the many individuals unite and become one entity....
For many years now, the OU Israel Center, first on Rechov Strauss, and later here on Keren Hayesod Street, has been an actualization of the words of our verse in Tehillim in central Yerushalayim, a place where individuals from across the city and beyond would come together as a community, a place to be inspired and uplifted.
During these past many months, my dear colleagues here at OU Israel, have worked tirelessly to ensure that despite the on-going war related difficulties, and our pending exit from Keren HaYesod Street, our connections and sense of community remain intact. Each member of our dedicated team continues to work around the clock to create and bring new programs and opportunities to more and more locations, in order for us to continue to feel that eternal bond which connects and unites each one of us. Please do not hesitate to reach out to myself or any of our incredible OU Israel team
should you have any suggestions or feedback as we move forward with this new model of programming, which will be built upon the foundation of so many years of community built here at the OU Israel Center.
Yehi Ratzon, as we read Parshat Chayei Sara this Shabbat, may our hearts and minds reflect on the eternal message of HaKodesh, and of Yerushalayim Ir HaKodesh, and may the eternal bond that unites us con tinue to be a source of strength, inspiration and growth.
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RABBI SHAI FINKELSTEIN’S SHIUR
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“Turning Despair into Hope”
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Walking down King George St. in Jerusalem and want a cold bottle of water? Come help yourself to a bottle at 52 King George.
In loving memory of Yoni’s wife Tziporah a"h, a true Eishes Chayil, always full of chessed, kindness and laughter, and brought life and strength to so many people, that she touched! She was like Aron, who loved peace and pursued peace.
Yoni thanks Hashem for having the opportunity of having Tziporah in his life, to learn of her caring, patience and happiness, to overcome her challenges. May Tziporah's Neshama be a light onto the world, in a time of darkness, and may her Neshama shine to Gan Eden. Yoni misses Tziporah with tears in his eyes, as Hashem gave him a gift, a crown jewel, now he returns her to Hashem. With thanks and Toda. Love, Yoni
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I GO TO WORK, JUST LIKE YOU .
At Jus by Julie, I manage UberEats orders. Each order I pack is a small triumph, a step towards independence.
When I’m not working, I cherish moments with friends, especially at Yachad. It’s more than a community; it’s a family that values every individual.
My life is vibrant, busy, and meaningful.
GEULAS YISRAEL
GEULAS YISRAEL
RABBI
MOSHE TARAGIN
RAM YESHIVAT HAR ETZION
MAGGID SHIUR ALL PARSHA AND ALL DAF, OU.ORG
Please say Tehillim for my son
who was injured in Lebanon and who underwent surgery
We Are Camels
Two monumental, history-shaping events unfold in Parshat Chayei Sarah. First, seeking to locate a burial site for Sarah, Avraham finally acquires land in Israel. Until now, he had lived as a guest, an itinerant in the Land Hashem had promised to his descendants רג םכמע יכנא בשותו . Only after lengthy and tense negotiations, does he secure his first actual piece of the Land of Israel.
Later, Avraham dispatches his faithful servant to his homeland in Aram Naharaim, tasking him with finding a suitable wife for Yitzchak. This mission is vital for the continuity of Avraham’s legacy and the spiritual future of his descendants.
These two epic events drive Jewish destiny forward. Without acquiring land, our divine promise of Israel remains incomplete. And without a wife, Yitzchak cannot forge the nation destined to be as numerous as the stars in the sky and the sands on the seashore.
Each of these pivotal events unfold in a public arena. The land negotiations take place at the city gate of Chevron, the bustling
commercial center of ancient societies. Similarly, the mission to marry off Yitzchak reaches its turning point at the watering hole, the community’s gathering spot and lifeline. Such profound and transformative events demand iconic, public settings, allowing them to imprint themselves upon collective memory.
Furthermore, each event unfolds under the eyes of witnesses. The intense negotiations between Avraham and Efron, Chevron’s landowner, are observed by the entire population of the bnei Chet, who, remarkably, are mentioned by the Torah 10 times, emphasizing the significance of this moment, and transforming a personal transaction into a landmark moment for generations.
Who are the witnesses who attend the shidduch process of Yitzchak? Surprisingly, the camels serve as witnesses to these proceedings. The Torah mentions the camels no fewer than 18 times, a frequency strikingly similar to the repeated references to the bnei Chet. Of course, Avraham’s servant traveled by camel, but why is this detail so pivotal? Why does the Torah emphasize the camels so prominently?
EXPORTING THE REVOLUTION
In a lifetime devoted to spreading the knowledge of Hashem, Avraham journeyed far and wide. Yet nearly all his travels were local paths within the Land of Israel and his influence barely rippled beyond the borders of Canaan. His single journey outside Israel’s boundaries ended in disaster when he was expelled from Egypt after deceiving Pharaoh. Though he had profoundly impacted his immediate neighbors,
the father of all nations had not yet ventured beyond, to spread his teachings to the wider world.
Now, as he sends his servant back to his homeland, Avraham seizes a unique chance— his first and last—to expand his message on a broader stage. This mission is not only a quest to find a bride for Yitzchak but a spiritual and cultural exchange, an opportunity to present his faith and values to a world beyond Israel’s borders.
The iconic camels embody this long-distance mission. Local travel within Israel could be managed by foot, or at most, by donkey—as seen in the akeidah. But a weeks-long journey across sun-scorched wilderness demands camels, uniquely designed for desert endurance and water retention. Without them, Avraham and his servant would have little hope of reaching Aram Naharaim.
VE’HEYEI BERACHA
Yet the camels symbolize something deeper than mere travel logistics. Even if, theoretically, it was possible to travel by foot, camels were essential for carrying goods and gifts. Laden with wealth, some of their load was intended as a bridal dowry, yet their bounty went further, extending blessing and prosperity to Avraham’s extended family. Through these gifts, Avraham fulfilled his mission of הכרב היהו , lavishing abundance upon others.
Thus, the camels serve as symbols of the “hidden agenda” behind this marriage journey. This distant expedition was an opportunity not only to expand Avraham’s monotheistic vision beyond Israel’s borders but also to spread prosperity.
The Torah subtly clues us in to the camels’ role in delivering prosperity and wealth to a wider audience. When it describes Avraham’s
servant arriving at the outskirts of the city, the Torah notes that he “hitched the camels and allowed them to rest” (םילמגה תא ךרביו). This phrase, ךרביו , carries a double meaning. On one level, it refers to putting the camels down to rest, as camels repose by bending their knees and reclining on their shins. On another level, ךרביו also evokes the verb “to bless”, which aligns with Avraham’s mission to bring הכרב to the world.
This is the first time in the Torah that the root ך-ר-ב (B-R-CH), is used as a verb describing a human being granting a blessing. Until now, only Hashem had dispensed blessings— to Adam and Chava, to Shabbat, and to Noach. The iconic camels serve as the vehicles for transporting wealth and blessing and the term ךרביו underscores this pivotal role.
RECIPROCITY
The welfare the camels are instrumental in delivering is further underscored by the word for “camel”. The Hebrew word for camel, למג (Gimmel-Mem-Lamed), also carries the meaning of reciprocity—treating others as they treat you. When Hashem is described as םיבוט םידסח למוג —”He who bestows good kindnesses” — the term למוג highlights this trait of divine reciprocity, where He grants kindness and reward in accordance with what we deserve.
This “gamal” connotation of “paying back” or “delivering just reward” introduces a vital dimension to the welfare we share with humanity. Not everyone will deserve our blessing. Throughout Sefer Bereshit this theme of deserving and undeserving of beracha recurs. Initially, Avimelech, King of the coast, having abducted Sarah, does not deserve Avraham’s spiritual interest or moral welfare. Yet, Avimelech, confesses his wrongdoings, and
performs teshuvah for his sins. As a result, he transforms into someone who deserves Avraham’s assistance and is therefore awarded by being embraced as Avraham’s political ally.
Lavan’s arc presents a stark inversion of Avimelech’s trajectory. Initially, He graciously welcomes Avraham’s envoy and cooperates in the plan to have Rivka marry Yitzchak, deserving the blessings which flow from this alliance. However, in later chapters, Lavan’s character takes a dark turn. He becomes a conniving host, switching wives and manipulating agreements for his own gain. His pursuit of Yaakov turns violent, as he threatens to harm him and his family. At this point, Lavan no longer deserves the blessings that were once extended to him.
The camels are a powerful symbol instructing that the prosperity we offer is only available to those who deserve it, it is not unconditional.
MODERN RECIPROCITY
As we approach the end of history, it becomes increasingly evident that the world, once again, is dividing into those who deserve our beracha and those who don’t. As in Bereishis this division is not static but is constantly shifting. In the mid-20th century, Germany did not deserve Israel’s blessing, due to the atrocities committed during the Holocaust.
However, through a process of teshuvah, modern Germany has transformed into one of Israel’s staunchest supporters, actively engaged in combating antisemitism. Their arc is similar to Avimelech’s- undeserving and then deserving.
By contrast Russia feels more like Lavan. Russia once served as a refuge for Jewish communities, hosting phenomenal Jewish growth in the 19th century. While the treatment of Jews in Russia was often less than hospitable, the country nonetheless provided a place for Jewish life and the development of Jewish spirituality.
Over the course of the 20th century, however, the rise of Soviet Communism created an antagonistic environment for Jews. In the 21st century, Russia’s aggressive policies toward Israel and its support for our enemies further invert the relationship.
South Africa offers another dramatic “Lavan” example. In the early 20th century, South Africa was a vibrant and growing hub for Jewish life, providing a safe-haven for Jews fleeing Eastern Europe and, later, for those escaping the Holocaust. However, in recent decades, the country’s stance toward Israel has become increasingly hostile, with staunch support for terrorists. They no longer deserve our blessing.
These historical shifts in attitude remind us that our blessings are not categorical or absolute. Just as Avraham’s blessings to those around him depended on their actions and deeds, so too do the nations of the world stand in a similar relationship to Israel today.
SUPPORTING ISRAEL, UPHOLDING VALUES
In this polarized world it seems that our supporters also uphold traditional value systems centered on faith, morality, and
family. These values honor the sanctity of life, the importance of community, and afford a deep connection to both religious and national identity. Conversely, many of Israel’s vocal critics—from the university campuses in the United States and the boulevards of European capitals—are also part of movements that seek to dismantle what basic moral and social frameworks. The core ideologies they promote often include radical shifts in the traditional understanding of family, personal responsibility, and societal order.
As the world becomes more polarized, we are witnessing a division not just based on political or ideological support for Israel, but on an even more fundamental level—on the moral and value systems that underpin society itself?
The camels underscore that our welfare will be reciprocal, based on alignment with the proper values and support for Israel, not granted indiscriminately. The blessings we offer the world—both spiritual and material—are meant to extend beyond borders, but primarily to those who support Jewish history and whose values align with the traditional religious and moral values of the Torah.
Rabbi Taragin’s newest sefer entitled “Reclaiming Redemption Deciphering the Maze of Jewish History (Mosaica)” is now available at: www.reclaimingredemption.com and in bookstores.
HAFTORAH
INSIGHTS
Making Every Day Count
The Haftorah begins with a portrayal of Dovid HaMelech in his old age, using the phrase םי ֑� מיב אב, “coming in days.” This expression is rare in Tanach, used only in reference to four individuals: Avraham, Sarah, Yehoshua, and Dovid HaMelech. Generally, age is measured in years, not days, so why is old age described here as “coming in days”? And why not simply use the term ןקז, meaning “old”?
The choice of words here is significant. The phrase םי ֑� מיב אב highlights a contrast between the quantity of years, םינש, and the quality of days, םימי. A person might be granted a long life but may not use their time meaningfully. In contrast, someone who lives fewer years
BY REBBETZIN DR. ADINA SHMIDMAN
DIRECTOR, OU WOMEN’S INITIATIVE
may live with great intentionality, investing in each day’s potential. In this context, “days” represents moments of true purpose rather than merely the passage of time.
By describing Dovid’s old age as “coming in days,” the Navi conveys that Dovid lived each day with intentionality and purpose. He didn’t just accumulate years; he filled each day with meaning and lived his life to its fullest potential. Had the verse used the term ןקז, we would know Dovid’s age in years. Instead, “coming with days” gives insight into his character—he didn’t just live a long life but a fulfilling one.
This phrasing reminds us of our responsibility to elevate each day. While Hashem grants us length in the form of years — תוכירא םינש — it is up to us to pursue length of days
— םימי תוכירא. In doing so, we, like Dovid, can strive to lead lives filled with significance, not merely years.
The Talmud teaches that a Jew is judged by the heavenly court in six specific areas (Shabbat 31a). Apparently, each item is indicative of a life well lived. It is widely known that the question, “Did you anticipate redemption?” is included among this assessment. Every Jew will need to articulate a response to their own adherence to this imperative.
Rav Kook commented on the reason why this principle of “anticipating the redemption” is crucial (Ain Aya, Shabbat vol. 1, p.152).
Rav Kook explained that first and foremost, the idea of tzipiyah le’yeshuah (anticipating the redemption) is not meant to be understood to mean that an individual seeks relief or salvation from one’s personal troubles and challenges. Rather, the notion is that we as a people anticipate the redemption of our nation and all of humanity. As Rashi comments on this passage in the Talmud, one should look forward to the fulfillment of the words of the prophets.
Rav Kook taught that a Jew must learn to envision himself as if he is an essential member, or limb, of one great body - the nation of Israel. Every individual contributes to the health and advancement of Klal Yisrael as a
whole and, in turn, the world at large.
Therefore the question asked in heaven of tzipita le’yeshuah is critical in measuring a person’s true aspirations in life. Answering this question in the affirmative means that a person elevated themselves above the narrow concerns of their private life and strived to be engaged in the process of elevating the nation and all of humanity.
ON GUARD AND READY TO ACT
Rav Kook added another insight to understanding the imperative of “anticipating the redemption.” The heavenly court does not ask kavita - “did you hope” for redemption - but rather tzipita - “did you anticipate” redemption. Tzipiyah indicates a constant watchfulness. Rav Kook employed the dramatic imagery of a soldier posted to a lookout, stationed at his observation tower for days, months, and even years. The soldier may not abandon his watch, even though he sees no change.
Likewise the Jewish nation is on the continual lookout for the redemptive process. With every new development, one must consider its potentiality in advancing the redemption of Israel. Thus tzipiyah le’yeshuah is not merely a passive observation. Rav Kook wrote, “Woe to the army that the lookout perceives a threat, but does not take any action. The moment there is some development in the field, the soldier must respond swiftly.” The Jew’s tzipiyah encompasses a readiness to act promptly.
ANTICIPATION
Rav Kook believed that as a Jew and as a people we remain ever-cognizant of even the
smallest signs of redemption. Rav Kook once remarked that even when other rabbinic leaders seemed to be silent on this matter and took little note of the advancements in the redemptive process, he remained committed to pursuing and publicizing this principle:
“If no one, especially the learned Torah scholar (lamdan), wishes to look at what is going on in the world, should I, for this reason, also not look? No! I am not indentured to the masses; here I go on my own path, on the straight way. I will look straight. What needs to be observed, I shall observe, without capitulation in the least to the masses, who deem it simplicity (temimut) to close one’s eyes to all that is happening. I am amazed by the stopped-up ears that do not hear the loud sound of the world - a sound that heralds new life, a sound of renascence, a sound of redemption, a sound of world renewal.” (Hadarav, Naor, 186-187)
RABBI SOLOVEITCHIK’S STANCE
Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik was another illustrious leader who charted his own path when he powerfully declared the religious significance of the return of the Jewish people to her homeland.
Rabbi Soloveitchik referenced his one time visit to the Holy Land and what he saw with his own eyes: “I remember the Land of Israel from my visit in 1935. Even then it was mainly desert, stones and water. This was after fifty years of Jewish colonization.” (The Rav, Rakeffet, Vol. 2, p. 95). However, something began to change, said the Rav, “Yet, as the Jew returned to the Land it slowly began to open up to them.” The Land was holding out for the Jew to return. “If the Land had been developed by other nations, the Jewish people would not have had the opportunity to resettle in their
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ancestral home. The Land of Israel possesses a special holiness which makes it remain loyal to the Jewish people.” (Ibid.)
Rabbi Soloveitchik noted that God’s promise that the Land would always remain loyal to her beloved people by leaving the land fallow was something he felt that he had witnessed with his own eyes.
In Rav Soloveitchik’s celebrated talk in which he highlighted the miracles that were manifest in the re-establishment of the State of Israel, he made the case that “the Land of Israel cannot be built by just any people or group. Only the Jewish people possess the capacity to transform it into a settled land and to make the desolate waste bloom. The divine promise became a miraculous fact in the history of the Land of Israel…” (Kol Dodi Dofek p. 77, quoted in Mesorat Harav Chumash, Vayikra, p. 229)
This unique divine promise appears in a less obvious place in the Torah. In the section of the tochacha (“the rebuke”) Hashem pronounces: “I will bring the Land into desolation, so that it will become desolate of your enemies who live in it” (Vayikra 26:32) Rashi makes the comment that this verse actually contains a highly encouraging message for the Jewish people. Other nations will try to settle the Land and yet the Land remains barren. It refuses to respond to anyone but the Jewish people. (Ibid.)
In a similar vein Rabbi Soloveitchik beautifully articulated the reason why on Shabbat we read from the Torah followed by the Haftorah reading. He explained it in simple terms: “The purpose of public Torah reading is to teach the nation the knowledge of the Torah, its commandments and statutes. The reading of the Haftarah was instituted to fortify the belief in the coming of the redemption, the return of the congregation of Israel to the Land of their forefathers, and the coming of the Messiah. (Divrei Hashaka, p.93, quoted in Machzor Masoret HaRav, Rosh Hashanah, p. 434).
WHAT A JEW DREAMS ABOUT
Rav Kook, in an exquisite passage in Orot HaKodesh, writes about the beauty of dreaming. Dreams, he says, are the very foundation of the world. Man’s loftiest achievements often begin with a dream. King David described in his Psalms that the return to the Land is also founded on a dream. Rav Kook wrote:
“The great dreams are the foundation of the world.
They are manifested on different levels. The prophets dream, as God is quoted as saying: ‘I speak with him [a prophet] in a dream.’ (Numbers 12:8)
The poets dream while awake. The mighty thinkers dream of perfecting the world.
All of us dream of the time “when God will return the captivity of Zion (Psalms 126:6).”
(Orot Hakodesh 53, p. 226)
Rav Kook taught us to hold fast to our dreams. The dream of returning to Zion seemed so elusive for thousands of years. Today, we are moving closer and closer to its complete realization. May each of us merit to take our singular role in ensuring that our people reach the ultimate goal of the Geulah Shlemah.
Rabbi Goldscheider’s most recent OU Press Publication, “Torah United” on the weekly Parsha, can be ordered directly from Rabbi Goldscheider at Aarong@ouisrael.org at a special price for Torah Tidbits readers.
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Rav Daniel Mann
Should Kiddush Levana Be Done with a Minyan?
Question: We usually do Kiddush Levana outside shul on Motzaei Shabbat. Is it supposed to be done with a minyan or some other minimum number of people?
Answer: Kiddush Levana is mentioned by an early Amora (Sanhedrin 42a). Early sources do not connect it to a minyan or to tefilla. The Pri Chadash (226:1) tries to prove it does not require a minyan from the fact that the mishna (Megilla 23b) does not list it as one of the things that requires a minyan. This implies that Kiddush Levana, which does not appear in Tannaic sources, was instituted before that mishna was written. Some point out that the gemara’s language is singular. One way or another, there is insufficient source and/or logic to require a minyan, and the broad consensus is that one fulfills the mitzvah even by doing it by himself.
That being said, many Acharonim (see Magen Avraham 426:6) have the minhag to
Mazal Tov to Rabbi Aaron & Miriam Adler and family on the Bar Mitzvah of their grandson
try to have a minyan, applying to it a general rule in ritual matters: b’rov am hadrat melech (=brahm; the greater number of people who take part together, the greater the honor to Hashem). If that is the reason, it is clear why the mitzvah counts without a minyan, as brahm is a classical hiddur (improvement to a mitzvah) whose absence does not, as a rule, disqualify mitzvot. There is an opinion that because it is a beracha of shevach (praise), and it is seen as greeting the Divine Presence, a minyan is particularly important (Teshuvot V’hanhagot I:205). (The idea of it being a birkat hashevach is not very convincing, as the gemara sounds like it resembles other berachot in which we praise Hashem for natural phenomena (e.g., on thunder, seeing great bodies of water), which are not as a group.) The way the practice has developed, there is another gain in having a minyan, since we recite Kaddish after it (see Kaf Hachayim, Orach Chayim 426:13).
There is a question about what is needed to attain brahm status. There is an opinion in the gemara (Gittin 46a) that three people constitute rabim (many or public) (the other opinion says ten), and the Gra (to OC 422:2) accepts it and applies it to contexts similar to ours (see Rama, OC 422:2). Therefore, the Be’ur Halacha (to OC 426:2, based on Chayei Adam 68:11) says that
Eretz Hemdah, the Institute for Advanced Jewish Studies, Jerusalem, is headed by Rav Yosef Carmel and Rav Moshe Ehrenreich, founded by Rav Shaul Yisraeli, zt”l, to prepare rabbanim and dayanim to serve the National Religious community in the Israel and abroad. Ask the Rabbi is a joint venture of the OU, Eretz Hemdah, and OU Israel’s Torah Tidbits.
the difference between doing Kiddush Levana with ten or three is not major. It is likely that the point is that it is not mainly a question of what the minimum is for brahm. Rather there are levels of brahm and of hiddur.
Regarding under three, there is likely an advantage to doing Kiddush Levana with another person. Rav Feinstein (Igrot Moshe, OC I, 146) sees precedent in the gemara that the presence of a second person shows one did not chance upon the moon but intentionally encountered it to show appreciation. Also, the Levush (626:1) points out that in order to fulfill the custom of saying “Shalom aleichem,” one needs at least one other person.
Level of value is relevant regarding competing values. One such value is z’rizin makdimin l’mitzvot (it is best to do mitzvot as early as possible), which generally is more important than brahm (see Rosh Hashana 32b). A third value is specific to Kiddush Levana – it is preferable to do Kiddush Levana on Motzaei Shabbat, mainly because we are usually better dressed then (Shulchan Aruch, OC 426:2). The minhag is clearly to wait for Motzaei Shabbat even though one could have done it earlier. However, some say that if earlier there is a chance to do it with a minyan, whereas he will not have one on Motzaei Shabbat, the two advantages of doing it earlier win out in that case (see Sha’ar Hatziyun 426:20). The Be’ur Halacha (ibid.) says that while it is worthwhile to wait several days (when there is not concern of cloud cover until the middle of the month) to do it with a minyan, if earlier there
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is a chance to do it with three, the net gain does not necessarily justify the wait.
While we have not exhausted all the permutations and opinions, we have seen the logic and extent of the preference of having several people together for Kiddush Levana.
Who Should I Ask First?
When it comes to matchmaking, one of the most debated questions is: Who should you ask first – the guy or the girl? This seemingly simple decision can have a big impact on the process, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Let’s explore this topic and uncover strategies to navigate it effectively.
WHY THIS QUESTION MATTERS
Opinions vary widely on whether to approach the man or the woman first. Some argue that men should be asked first, as women might take rejection more personally. Others contend that today’s women prefer being asked first and can handle a “no” with grace. Additionally, some women rarely receive Shidduch offers because, when men say no early, the opportunity never reaches them — leading to feelings of being overlooked or forgotten.
As Shagririm (matchmakers), we invest significant time and effort in crafting potential matches. It’s essential to approach this thoughtfully, aiming to maximize success while minimizing hurt feelings. Here are some guidelines to help you decide who to ask first.
1. ASK YOUR FRIEND WHAT THEY PREFER
The simplest way to know is to ask your friend directly. Everyone has their own preferences:
• Some prefer being asked after the other person has already agreed. These individuals may feel disappointed when they express interest, only to find the other party isn’t on board.
• Others prefer being asked first. For them, it’s about having control and time to evaluate the potential match thoroughly before the offer moves forward.
Remember, gender shouldn’t dictate the approach. Tailor your strategy to the individual.
2. CONSIDER YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM
Your closeness to the person can guide your decision:
• If they’re overwhelmed with offers, avoid adding to the confusion.
• If they’ve received few offers recently, asking them first can make them feel seen and appreciated.
Misjudging this can lead to unintended consequences, like creating unnecessary stress or leaving someone feeling neglected. Balancing sensitivity and practicality is key.
3. DIVERSIFY YOUR APPROACH
There’s no universal formula that works every time. If you consistently ask your friend first, you may unintentionally limit their opportunities. Conversely, always approaching the other party first might not serve your friend’s best interests.
Switch things up! A flexible approach ensures fairness and improves your chances of success.
Dr. Ethan Eisen, PhD
Parenting Our Adult-Children
RABBI DR. ETHAN EISEN
OU ISRAEL
PARENTING COLUMN
As parents, we often think that as time goes on, our acquired experience ought to make parenting simpler. But what many parents find is that as their child gets older, the challenges of parenting become more complex. One aspect of this complexity that many parents raise is the shifting relationship with their child as the child grows through adolescence into early adulthood. During this time, the child is clearly going through an array of transitions, both externally and internally. As a result, the relationship between the child and his parents is changing, and parents may struggle as they navigate this shift.
Maintaining Charitable Morale
Dear OU Parenting,
Following the recent string of terrorist attacks, my son, 11, has become very anxious. I, of course, have also been affected by all the loss and trauma. I’m not sure how much or how little to share with him in general and specifically regarding my own emotional experience. For example, should I try not to cry and be sad around him? T.R.
A recent news article in Times of Israel reported that the IDF has seen a substantial decline in the number of reservists who have reported for duty. According to the report, at the start of the war reserve units received more than 100% of the soldiers who were called up. Now, the number is between 75-85%. Those interviewed attributed this drop to a variety of factors, including emotional fatigue and burnout from over a year of fighting, as well as challenges that come from civilian life, such as being away from their families and financial or academic considerations.
support. One major factor was media coverage, as increased coverage led to increased giving. When other items dominated the news cycles, donations to these causes dropped off. This aspect certainly seems relevant to the current war—as time has gone on, traditional and social media coverage of the war and those most affected by it has given way to other things.
when responding to children under these circumstances.
Firstly, it’s important to give children a safe space to speak, meaning a space to express them selves in the way that is natural for them. Some children don’t have much of a reaction and others will cry, show anger and frustration. They may say things that you don’t agree with or challenge you. Giving them the space to do this is crucial.
Michal Silverstein, MS
Dear T.R.
Thank you for asking this very relevant and timely question.
Adults as well as children are overwhelmed with emotions when they hear about a terrorist attack. When they become more frequent, the feeling of uncertainty and loss of control can create much anxiety. There are certain guidelines to keep in mind
Most parents understand that for a younger child, instruction, guidance, and oversight are intrinsic to their roles as parents. Parents also know that just because they utter “Baruch she’petarani“ that does not mean the end of their responsibilities toward their child. However, most parents recognize that at a certain point, their child becomes an adult, and as such, he is now responsible for himself and his own decisions. Ideally, the child and his parents form what we might call an “adult relationship.” The challenge that
many parents face is figuring successfully adapt their relationship a younger child into an adult relationship with an adult child. One reason this transition confusing is that the duration to adulthood, for many people, form and may stretch over many The traditional Western value, it was never reality for many that a person turns 18 and becomes responsible for himself. He starts some money, lives on his own, pays way, and looks to get married, short order. All of these lifecycle would indicate that the child has an adult.
Next, when they ask questions, try to give them accurate information, answering only the questions they ask. Stay focused. It’s not necessary to elaborate or get sidetracked by politics or other similar situations. Explanations should be given in an age appropriate manner. Just like your rules are age appropriate your discussions should be as well. Having more detailed, graphic conversations is more appropriate with an 18 than a 10 year old.
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Sargeant and Woodliffe (2007) identified a second relevant factor, known as “crowding out,” which refers to when individuals feel less inclined to contribute because the government or larger organizations are involved. There can be a belief that a person’s relatively small contribution is inconsequential or that all the significant needs are already taken care of. When people sense that their contributions are not meaningful, they tend to donate less. This reason also seems relevant to the current situation--as the war has progressed, the government and large institutions have been better able to organize and mobilize resources, and many of the small charitable acts from early in the war are no longer necessary.
In highlighting the attrition among reservists, a separate issue may also be raised—namely, the drop-off of support for the war effort from the Jewish communities around the world. While the aid from some individuals and groups has remained steady, or even grown, there has certainly been an overall decline in material support since the early days of the war. Many elements likely contribute to this trend, and below I consider two psychological factors.
Van Leeuwen and Wiepking (2012) studied national campaigns for charitable causes to determine what factors lead to charitable
It’s important to keep an eye out for both emotional and physical signs of distress. If your child looks sad, has crying spells, becomes fearful or angry or is experiencing changes in sleeping and eating patterns, he may need extra help processing the current state of events. Be aware of behavioral changes.
Regarding your own emotional state, it’s important to model emotions in front of your children. Seeing you express your feelings will allow your child to do the same. That being said, there is also a limit. You do not
It is important to consider how to address these and other reasons why support has declined, despite the ongoing challenges. I would like to focus on one Torah-based source that can be useful to remind us of the importance of each person’s role in this milchemet mitzvah. The Rambam (Laws of Kings and Wars) rules as follows (7:4): “In a milchemet mitzvah, the entire nation must go
But in today’s world, and especially frum communities, the markers hood are far less clear. Young typically not able to pay their own to some combination of advanced study, attending college or university, a higher cost of living. There emphasis on marriage, such men and women marry and have years before they are able to support their young family. This cated reality can make it difficult out the contours of an adult relationship between parents and their child.
The slow march toward independence means that there are not clear cations for where the child exists
out to war, even a groom from his chamber, and a bride from her pavilion.” Each part of this halacha has been the subject of much discussion both by our Sages over the generations and nowadays throughout Jewish communities globally. As such, this short column is not the place to explore how it should be understood practically. However, I focus here on one commentator’s remark.
Radbaz, in his commentary on the Rambam, understands that women are not meant to be involved directly in combat. If so, he asks, how are we meant to interpret the halacha that even a bride is expected to participate in the war? One of his answers is that this ruling obligates her to provide water and food for her husband who is involved in combat. Applied more broadly, one could argue that this means in a milchemet mitzvah, for those who are not involved in combat, there remains an obligation to support the war effort in whatever way is accessible to the individual.
The more that Jews around the world internalize that their continued support is a fulfillment of this mitzvah, each small act is imbued with meaning. And when each act carries importance, people are less vulnerable to the natural psychological tendencies that lead to the decline in support. The needs continue to be great, and we pray to Hashem that the hostages return home safely to their families, the soldiers return safely from successful missions, the injured are healed, and security is restored for displaced communities those living in places targeted by frequent barrages.
Ethan Eisen is Clinical Director of Mashiv HaRuach, a Thank You, Hashem project supporting soldiers and their families.
RABBI ASAF AHARON PRISMAN
GUEST DVAR TORAH
From Pain to Gain: Decoding Sarah’s Life Formula for True Success
This week’s parshah begins by informing us about Sarah Imeinu’s passing. The Torah tells us that she lived 127 years, but it does so in a very unusual format. It says that she lived one hundred years and twenty years and seven years, breaking it up into three parts. Rashi, based on a Midrash, explains that the Torah is coming to compare the different parts of her life to each other. Just as a twenty-year-old is free of sin (in Shamayim, the age for accountability is twenty), so too, Sarah was free of sin at a hundred. Just as a seven-year-old is beautiful, so too, Sarah was beautiful at twenty.
However, this explanation raises its own difficulties. What does it mean that at twenty, she had the beauty of a seven-year-old? This doesn’t seem like a compliment — as a woman at twenty is at the peak of her beauty, while a seven-year-old is just a child.
The pasuk then concludes, seemingly redundantly, that these are the years of Sarah’s life. Here, Rashi explains that it is teaching us that “הבוטל םיווש םלוכ — all [the years of her life] were equally good.” This is very odd, considering that Sarah had a life filled with challenges and suffering. She had to uproot her life suddenly when Hashem told Avraham, “Lech lecha.” While on the road, she was abducted
by two tyrants, Pharaoh and Avimelech. She was childless for decades. Then Yishmael tormented her dear son Yitzchak. In the end, Chazal tell us, she died from shock when she heard how Yitzchak was nearly sacrificed at the Akeidah. Not exactly the easiest life. So what does it mean that they were all good years?
REINTERPRETING “GOOD” IN THE TORAH
The truth is that this last question reflects a mistaken paradigm. In our minds, “good” means full of positivity and happiness, but this is not the Torah concept of good. The Sforno explains that the word “tov” (good) in the Torah means that something is fulfilling its purpose. Throughout the narrative of the creation of the world, after Hashem creates something, the Torah says that He saw it was good. This means He saw that it was fit to fulfill its function. A “good” hammer is one that can bang in nails; if it can only function as a paperweight, it is not a “good” hammer even though there is a place in the world for paperweights. “Good” means it is capable of performing the task for which it was made.
The Torah says, “It is not good for man to be alone,” and therefore, Hashem created Chavah as a partner for Adam. Here too, “not good”
means Hashem saw that man cannot fulfill his purpose in the world as a bachelor.
The Sforno explains along these lines that when Pirkei Avos talks about the virtue of “בל בוט — a good heart,” it means that all one’s intentions are to increase kavod Shamayim because this is the proper desire the heart is supposed to have; only if it is functioning in this manner is it “good.”
The opposite of tov is ra (ער) — and in lashon hakodesh, the word means to be unstable. For example, a shaky ladder is called a “עוער םלוס.” This is the flip side of the concept of tov, which means completely fit for its purpose.
Following this concept, we can understand how David Hamelech, despite his numerous difficulties, could say in Tehillim, תברק ינאו" ",בוט
םיקלא the only good is a relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. He understood that “good” does not mean being comfortable
and happy; it means being aligned with reality.
SARAH’S LIFE: CHALLENGES & CONSISTENCY
This is what Rashi means by “םיווש םלוכ הבוטל.” Sarah also understood that good means closeness to Hashem, and in that case, not only are hardships in life not impediments to “good,” they are actually opportunities. The way a person comes closer to Hashem is by confronting challenges and thereby building their character. Sarah’s ability to maintain consistency throughout her life was defined by her approach and not by her circumstances. The circumstances changed and were difficult, but she utilized all of them to fulfill her purpose and face those challenges.
Returning to our original question, when comparing her beauty at twenty to that of a seven-year-old, it is not referring to her physique; rather, it is referring to the special charm of a child that is the outcome of their
innocence and purity, being untainted by sin. A child can maintain this attitude because, under normal circumstances, they have no responsibilities, and everything is taken care of by their parents. The Torah is teaching us that throughout her life, she maintained this purity because she knew that everything was from Hashem and that everything she went through was an opportunity to come closer to Him. She did not view things as not going well — and in that sense she was like a child. Not because she was naive, but because she completely surrendered her circumstances to the will of Hashem, just as a child does to their parents.
The life of Sarah Imeinu offers a profound perspective on dealing with life’s challenges. Although she faced difficulties, the Torah describes all her years as “equally good.” This was not because her life was easy, but because amid the trials, she remained committed to spiritual growth. Hashem designed the path of her life this way — with its mix of joy and sorrow — specifically to cultivate her potential and ultimate good. Her story teaches that true goodness comes not through avoiding pain, but through striving for meaning and closeness to Hashem throughout life’s journey.
PRACTICAL TAKEAWAY
When facing life’s difficulties, we should strive to maintain perspective. Challenges are not obstacles to finding goodness and purpose, but opportunities. By seeing our struggles as a means to spiritual growth, closeness with Hashem, and fulfilling our potential, we can discover meaning and contentment even amid sorrow. We need to stay focused on the bigger picture — that Hashem designs our path for a reason — and this way we can make all our years equally good, no matter
the circumstances.
STORY TIME: THE GAIN OF PAIN
There was a man who went through immense hardship and suffering. He felt he could not endure it any longer, so he went to the great Rabbi Pinchas Scheinberg, hoping for guidance. As he waited outside the Rabbi’s study, exhausted, he drifted off to sleep on the couch.
In his dream, he was suddenly called before the Heavenly Court. He realized he must have passed away. “All the white angels, step forward!” cried the judge. All the man’s good deeds, acts of kindness, and Torah learning now stood as angels on one side of the cosmic scale. “Dark angels, come forth!” His sins materialized as black angels on the other side, weighing down the balance. At first, it seemed even. But then more and more dark angels appeared.
“Wait!” a voice thundered. “Recall this man’s difficulties and suffering, his yissurim!” All the pain and adversity he had endured now transformed into angels of light, joining the others. Together, they outweighed the darkness. Thanks to his yissurim, the Heavenly Court ruled in his favor. The gavel pounded — he would enter Gan Eden.
Abruptly, he awoke to Rabbi Scheinberg’s assistant saying, “The Rabbi will see you now.” Still dazed from the vivid dream, he stood up gratefully. “I will not trouble the Rabbi today,” he said with calm assurance. “My questions have been answered.”
Rabbi Asaf Aharon Prisman, author of “Prism of Torah” and host of the weekly podcast under the same name, cultivated his unique Torah perspective through studies at Toronto’s Yeshivat Or Chaim and several prestigious Israeli yeshivas. Now based in Ramat Beit Shemesh, he combines his roles as an author, podcaster, and a Ram at Yeshivat Ateres Yaakov where he gives the daily daf yomi shiur & gives personalized Gemara tutoring, where he makes profound Torah concepts accessible to all.
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The Preciousness of Each Day
Many of our commentators have attempted to resolve an apparent redundancy in the Torah’s description of Avraham’s advancing years (24:1). The verse states: “םהרבאו לֹכב םהרבא־תא
, And Avraham was old, [he] came with his days…” The problem is clear: If we are being told that Avraham was old, why add that he came with his days? Moreover, in last week’s Parsha (18:11), we find the same redundancy when the Torah relates that, “Now Avraham and Sarah were old, [they] came with their days תֹויהל
”. Apparently, the Torah felt the need to describe the aging Avraham and Sarah in two very similar ways. How may we understand this repetition?1
Among the many answers Chazal offer, Radak (ad loc ) suggests that the phrase "םימיב אב" teaches us that all of Avraham days were beautifully complete; Avraham became everything he could have possibly become! The Kli Yakar (ad loc) understands “םימי” to metaphorically mean daylight as opposed of nighttime. As Avraham grew old, 1. See Bereishis Rabah 48:16 which also raises a similar question.
GUEST DVAR TORAH
his life, as it were, journeyed from place of darkness – a life of challenges and hardships - to a sunniness of glorious and noble standing – a life distinguished by the brightness of virtuous and righteous deeds, a life filled with goodness and accomplishment.2
But it is, however, the comments of the Torah Temima (ad loc) which are particularly interesting and suggestive. Based on the Gemara (Bava Metzia 87a), he argues that while the Talmud states that before Avraham there was no signs of aging, there are nevertheless verses prior to Avraham which do mention הנקז, old age. He therefore proposes that Avraham’s הנקז was defined by his אב םימיב, and until Avraham, such an old age of םימיב אב did not exist. How, though, can this be explained?
People age in different ways. All too often, a person goes from one day to the next without giving much thought as to how their past days connect to their present and future. Much like a person ripping the day-date off the hanging paper calendar, many treat their past days as just so much garbage. Not so Avraham Avinu. For him, each day was a building block upon which to climb higher in his quest for ethical greatness. He “came with his days” as each day held the potential for new adventures and accomplishments. And even when a given day may be filled with disappointment and heartache, with failure and mistakes, 2. See Ramban, Ba’al HaTurim, and Rav S.R. Hirsch for additional illuminating answers.
even those days – properly understood - can be a source of growth and wisdom.
In short then, Avraham’s הנקז was thus defined by his advancing one day at a time, with each day perched upon the shoulders of the previous day, boosting him, uplifting him to a place of such sanctity that, quite remarkably, he becomes the close and precious friend of the Almighty Himself. Indeed, Avraham’s הנקז - his golden years - was filled with the richness of his days which he lovingly and proudly brought them all with him - םימיב
Rabbi Y.Y. Jacobson, in one of his extraordinary essays on the Parsha, offers a further extension of the above answer, one based upon a talk given by the Lubavitcher Rebbe in 1988.3 He writes: “The Hebrew expression used for ‘they came in days’ is ‘ba’im bayamim.’ A literal translation would read, ‘They came into the days.’ Perhaps, then, we ought to interpret the words ‘they came into the days’ in the simplest way possible: that Abraham and Sarah entered inside their days, allowing the days and its experiences to encompass them completely and touch the texture of their very being. Abraham and Sarah lived an immersive life; they were fully immersed in each and every day.
“Many of us are frightened to enter into our lives and live it fully, with the complete presence of mind, heart, and body, with unbridled passion and zest. We do not trust life enough to let it possess us… Life holds too much pain, too many disappointments, so much shame, anger, and guilt; we would rather let our days pass by us from a distance so that we remain safe. We observe our days 3. See his, “Are You Afraid to Live” at The Yeshiva.net
moving along, but we remain emotionally distant; too timid to become one with them, to be fully engulfed by them.
“Yet, Abraham and Sarah, the Torah says, personified a different model: “They came into the days;” they fully entered into their days. They allowed themselves to be wrapped by life. All their days were explored, actualized, and lived to the fullest. They valued, celebrated, and maximized every day.
“Abraham and Sarah had been through quite a life together! They enjoyed tremendous blessings and victories, as well as profound pain and disappointment… Yet throughout all of it - the positive as well as the challenging, the joyous as well as the painful - they allowed themselves to experience the pulse of life in its totality. They were present throughout and did not retreat into the cocoon of safe detachment. They “entered” inside each day and stared at its existence with an unwavering gaze and mighty courage.
“Sure, it is safer to enter into your life halfway, to create a border between yourself and your experiences. No sorrow, no pain, no tears. But that may come at the cost of living, and deprives you of a life filled with exuberance, laughter, passion, and wholesomeness… Every day brings up a new awareness, a new challenge, a new opportunity, a new task, a new
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layer of reality. When I show up fully to live, every day is a new journey, a calling to take on the unique mission of this day, which may be very different from my task yesterday.
“No doubt during this period of time, Abraham experienced the most profound and most turbulent moments of his entire life. After waiting for decades, he was finally blessed with a child, Isaac, who would carry on the monotheistic revolution he had begun. And during this period, Abraham watched himself about to slaughter his son. It was only at the last moment that G-d told him to take his hands off the lad and let him live. What does such an event do to a father? [And] finally, during these years, the person who was there with him through thick and thin, his life’s partner, passed away… Her death must have been an unimaginable loss to Abraham. One would think that at this point Abraham would have developed some detachment skills to protect himself against any further pain and anguish. We often observe how after years of experiencing life with all its pressures and struggles, people develop a certain indifference and apathy. They have simply been through too much to subject themselves to the vulnerable vicissitudes of life. They detach.
“So, the Torah informs us that Abraham’s courage lasted him till the very end. “Abraham was old, he came into the days.” Even as a widower, Abraham did not detach from life. He breathed it in, with all of its majesty, drama, joy, and pain. On the lines of his face and the streaks of his soul, he carried a reminder of every encounter, every relationship, and every experience. That is what we call truly living: acquiring the courage to become one with life, to feel it, love it, and
possess it… Till his last breath, the founder of the Jewish faith awoke each morning and said, ‘I will live my life today to the fullest; my heart and soul will immerse themselves fully in the journey of life today and I will maximize the unique mission given to me for this day.’”
The message for all of us, as we fight this just war – a הוצמ תמחלמ – is to live with the deep knowledge and faith that every day –notwithstanding the pain and anguish, the stress and trauma – that each day has within it a special essence of meaning and purpose, an exceptional power that can not only help us endure the battle, but “day on top of day” can bless us with the dignity and courage to ultimately prevail and triumph!
Abraham Lincoln once put it: “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” Our Torah said it differently: “And Avraham was old and אב םימיב, he came with his days!
Indeed, המכח
Teach us to count our days rightly, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Tehilim 90:12).
Rabbi Jeffrey Bienenfeld served in various pulpits in the US, most recently at the Young Israel of St. Louis, before making aliyah in 2006. He currently is on the faculty at the Israel Center and gives shiurim in the Jerusalem area. Rabbi Bienenfeld can be reached at jdbnfeld@outlook.com
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The Nefesh B’Nefesh Maor Youth Prize was established to recognize the impact of young Anglo Olim on their community.
As we continue to support Am Yisrael during these difficult times, we are witnessing tremendous and significant initiatives generated from young people around the country. We are looking to acknowledge and celebrate the contribution of these young Anglo Olim.
ELIGIBILITY
9 Must be between the ages of 12-18
Nominations must be submitted no later than December 10, 2024 DO YOU KNOW A YOUNG OLEH/OLAH MAKING A STRONG CONTRIBUTION TO THEIR COMMUNITY?
9 Actively making a significant contribution to their community. For more details and to nominate: WWW.NBN.ORG.IL/MAOR
*Prizes will be awarded at the Nefesh B’Nefesh Aliyah Campus in Jerusalem on Wednesday, January 1, 2025. Each winner will receive a prize!
THE DAILY PORTION
THE DAILY PORTION
BY SIVAN RAHAV-MEIR
BY SIVAN RAHAV-MEIR
To Get Up and Keep Going
International Bible Quiz Champions Speak
International Bible Quiz Champions Speak
Much excitement has surrounded Emunah Cohen and Neta Lax, the two fresh winners of the annual International Bible Quiz. Yesterday I interviewed them and heard their story.
the first time?' Yet I simply forgot it. I thought afterwards that HaShem caused me to forget the answer in order to remind me that I do not know everything, that I am human and not perfect."
the first time?' Yet I simply forgot it. I thought afterwards that HaShem caused me to forget the answer in order to remind me that I do not know everything, that I am human and not perfect."
followed by the words: “Then Avraham rose from beside his dead”—in other words, after the funeral, the eulogies, and the weeping, Avraham gets up and returns to his active life: He purchases Me’arat Hamachpela and arranges for a wife for Yitzchak.
Much excitement has surrounded Emunah Cohen and Neta Lax, the two fresh winners of the annual International Bible Quiz. Yesterday I interviewed them and heard their story.
It turns out that they studied long hours together and were confident they would be the leading competitors. "We planned on winning together," Emunah revealed. "We thought both of us would answer every question correctly so that we would both be champions, tied for first place.
Eden Dawi is the older sister of Ro’i Dawi, who was killed last year together with ten other soldiers when their armored personnel carrier was struck by an anti-tank missile. Ro’i fell during the weeks in which we read about the trials of Avraham Avinu: his self-sacrifice, travels and Akeidat Yitzchak. In this week’s parasha, Chayei Sarah, we read about the first funeral in the Torah when Avraham Avinu buries Sarah Imeinu in Me’arat Hamachpela.
"The more you learn," Neta said, "the easier it gets. When you learn a lot of Tanach (Bible) you simply see how everything connects to your life. I truly felt that what I learned accompanied me wherever I went. It made my heart feel good."
"The more you learn," Neta said, "the easier it gets. When you learn a lot of Tanach (Bible) you simply see how everything connects to your life. I truly felt that what I learned accompanied me wherever I went. It made my heart feel good."
Eden writes: “This story reminds me of the last words that Ro’i left us. His last letter to us ended, ‘You should only gain strength from everything’. We posted this message on a huge sign at the entrance to Jerusalem, and during these very difficult days, we would like to pass it along to the public: May we only get stronger from everything that we experience.”
In closing, Neta declared: "The two of us will continue to study the Tanach. There were parts of the Tanach that were not in the material covered by the quiz, and it's important for us to learn them too."
In closing, Neta declared: "The two of us will continue to study the Tanach. There were parts of the Tanach that were not in the material covered by the quiz, and it's important for us to learn them too."
The verse says: “…Avraham came to mourn for Sarah and to bewail her.” This is
It turns out that they studied long hours together and were confident they would be the leading competitors. "We planned on winning together," Emunah revealed. "We thought both of us would answer every question correctly so that we would both be champions, tied for first place.
But in the end Emunah won. "They made a big deal about our big hug after I lost," Neta said. "But it was the easiest thing to share in her happiness. Besides, we were just relieved that the competition was finally over."
And Emunah had this recommendation: "Study the Bible for 5 minutes every day. Not for school, not for the Bible quiz, but just for how much fun it will be."
And Emunah had this recommendation: "Study the Bible for 5 minutes every day. Not for school, not for the Bible quiz, but just for how much fun it will be."
But in the end Emunah won. "They made a big deal about our big hug after I lost," Neta said. "But it was the easiest thing to share in her happiness. Besides, we were just relieved
In the course of the entire contest, Emunah made only one error. "I knew the answer to the question: 'When did King David cry for
In the course of the entire contest, Emunah made only one error. "I knew the answer to the question: 'When did King David cry for
Sivan Rahav-Meir is a media personality and lecturer. Married to Yedidya, the mother of five. Lives in Jerusalem, and formerly served as the World Mizrachi Shlicha to North America. Sivan lectures in Israel and overseas about the media, Judaism, Zionism and new media. She was voted by Globes newspaper as most popular female media personality in Israel and by the Jerusalem Post as one of the 50 most influential Jews in the world.
Sivan Rahav-Meir is a media personality and lecturer. Married to Yedidya, the mother of
Sivan Rahav-Meir is a media personality and lecturer. Married to Yedidya, the mother of
as most popular female media personality in Israel and by the Jerusalem Post as one of the
as most popular female media personality in Israel and by the Jerusalem Post as one of the
TORAH TIDBITS CONTRIBUTOR
Yad Hashem
In asking Bethuel and Laban to allow Rebecca to leave home and marry Isaac, Abraham’s servant refused to eat:
Food was served, but Avraham’s servant said: “I will not eat until I have said what I have to say”. “Speak”, said the host (24:33).
Only afterwards, after his long narrative quoted:
“The servant and the men with him ate and drank…” (24:54)
G-d answered the prayer of the servant (Eliezer of Damascus according to tradition; c.f. 15:2) for finding the right woman in the right place for Yitzchak. There were no changes in nature, no spectacular miracles. No angel or pillar of fire came down to show him the way to Yitzchak’s future wife. Things ‘just happened’: after praying and specifying precisely what he wanted, he turned up in the right place by the right household with the right young woman just happening to come out to do just the right task that would show her being suitable for Yitzchak, his master’s son. Such a series of coincidences that one could not fail to see the Yad HaShem, the Hand of G-d, bringing it all together.
Indeed, the Rashbam emphasizes that on realizing G-d’s having arranged things in this way, it would not be fitting for him, Eliezer, to eat or drink without sharing the details of what happened.
Perhaps one can expand. The Torah recounts the details that Eliezer shared, even though we already know about them in the story. It does so for reasons. Not just to show the joy that the conversation of the pioneering tzadikim gave Him which is the purpose Rashi quotes, but to emphasize the importance of recounting, recalling, and reflecting on the details of the events that demonstrably show the Yad HaShem in daily lives, and duly celebrating them. Even if the water doesn’t turn into blood or the sea doesn’t split. When the miracle of something turning up at the right moment on that very particular occasion that you need it does happen, it needs continual recognition which can be in the form of a seudat shel mitzva, a meal celebrating and cementing G-d emergence in this way into the communal memory. But first, there should be reflection, discussion, and hakarot hatov,
recognition of how G-d arranges things to intervene in our favour. And like with example shown by Eliezer, the eating and drink comes after that, in that framework of reflection and hakarat hatov. Like the order of the Pesach Seder, where the seuda celebrates the Yetziat Mitzrayim after we have reflected on it and discussed it. Not merely an after-dinner speech, which goes through one ear and out of the other.
Through drawing our attention to Eliezer’s detailed recounting of G-d’s arranging things to work out, the Torah could be telling us how important it is to consider our own life stories and the stories of the lives of those we know. As Lavan and Bethuel declared: “It has come from G-d” (24:50). The Torah wants us to not only keep the Mitzvot, but to reflect on how He comes in to guiding our paths. Indeed, you yourself may well be able to put in stories of your own or of people you know, especially in these very difficult times for Am Yisrael. Perhaps not of that magnitude, but certainly worthy of your notice. Let’s recount one miracle of that type.
A young man suffered a cash-flow crisis soon after making Aliyah more than 30 years ago. He was fortunate in finding employment teaching at Tel Aviv University at the beginning of August, but then found out that his first salary would
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not come through until October. He did not have sufficient cash after paying his landlord to last out. He hitched-hiked daily to from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv to avoid spending. Finally, the crisis hit. One Friday in mid-September, he got back to Jerusalem with the total available cash resources of just one silver five-shekel piece.
Having no choice, he walked from the Jerusalem central bus station to a good friend nearby who managed a free-loan fund (g’mach).
He answered the door with: “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to get hold of you all day?”It turned out that this gentleman needed me for a colleague in kolel. Of Sephardi background, this man had been hired by an Ashkenazi synagogue outside Israel to lead the Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services and wanted to learn the right tunes (nussach). Time was running out. He could well-afford to pay. “Would you help?”
“Will he settle at the end of each lesson?” The friend phoned: ‘Of course! Tell him to come over at once’.
That silver five shekel coin got the young man to his home in Ramot, on the western edge of Jerusalem. The rest – happily – is history… A miracle. One would be blind not to see a Yad HaShem such a happening. I happen to know the story is authentic as I was that young man in need.
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TORAH 4 TEENS
BY
TEENS NCSY ISRAEL
JOSH HULKOWER MADRICH
AVRAHAM THE BOTANIST
Did you ever think about how weird planting is? Think of old McDonald on his farm taking a perfectly good seed and deciding to dig a hole in the ground, putting the seed there and covering it with some dirt. Someone watching from the outside might think the farmer has just thrown out a perfectly good seed never to see it again, but the farmer knows exactly what he’s doing. He comes back a few months later to find a beautiful baby tree growing exactly where he planted that seed.
In this week’s Parsha we have the deaths of 3 people: לאעמשי ,םהרבא ,הרש. When burying
הרש and םהרבא there is a word that keeps on appearing that is not found by the burial of לאעמשי. That word is םייח. Very odd, what type of life is the Torah talking about?
The Gemara in חי תוכרב gives us an insight on what this םייח is referring to:
Those who truly live during their lives and make a positive impact on those around them, continue to do so even after their death.
םהרבא understands this and when he wants to bury הרש in הלפכמה תרעמ the Torah adds one very important word:
םהרבא understands that those who die “living” continue to live and therefore he buries הרש in the הדש so that she too can continue to grow (just like a seed) and have an impact after her death. Our first example of הרש continuing to live after her death happens right after her burial as רזעלא goes out to find a wife for קחצי. The continuation of the legacy of הרש after her death.
This past year we have unfortunately seen too many chayalim killed during the ongoing war. Perhaps we can learn from the story of the burial of הרש that the lives of these chayalim don’t end at their burials, and we have the zchut of taking part in their commemoration, sharing their light and allowing their lives to continue on.
NOAM BREITSTEIN 11TH GRADE, BEIT EL
FIGHTING FOR FULFILMENT
When I got a spot in Torah Tidbits, my first response was to bring an idea from Covenant and Conversation- unfortunately, that idea resulted in something twice the required length, so I’ll be giving something which is my
own, inferior though it may be to the genius of Rabbi Sacks.
Five times, G-d promises Abraham the Land of Israel, and five times a nation of his descendants. But, towards the end of his life, neither have come true. He has only one child that G-d confirmed will father his nation, no grandchildren and no wife for his son. He owns no part of Israel.
The last thing he does in his life is to work towards those goals. He insists, again and again, to buy a burial for his wife. And when finally, he gets a deal, rather than haggle down the insane price, or look elsewhere, he accepts. He buys the burial site.
Once this is done, he sets about to get his son a wife. He tells his servant to bring his son a wife from his homeland. His servant asks what to do if the woman does not want to come to Canaan, for it is an arduous request to ask of a woman.
And Abraham’s response is a powerful one. “Hishamer le’cha pen tashiv et beni shama”. Beware lest you return my son to there. And if you cannot find someone who will come to Israel, then I release you from your oath to bring a woman from my Homeland.
Abraham’s gift from G-d of Land is not an instant one. He fights for it, even when he has not seen it fulfilled. When he dies, he owns only a cave and still has no grandchildren. But he does not give up.
Millennia later, we still struggle for our Land and our nation. G-d’s gift is not an instant one. It is for us to fulfil. And as Abraham fought, so we too must fight for our Land. It is our legacy. Our birthright. And even if we do not see its completion, it is ours to fight for.
