OU Israel Center Torah Tidbits - Parshat Vayishlach 5785
BY SIVAN RAHAV-MEIR
THE DAILY PORTION
the first time?' Yet I simply forgot it. I thought afterwards that HaShem caused me to forget the answer in order to remind me that I do not know everything, that I am human and not perfect."
"The more you learn," Neta said, "the easier it gets. When you learn a lot of Tanach (Bible) you simply see how everything connects to your life. I truly felt that what I learned accompanied me wherever I went. It made my heart feel good."
In closing, Neta declared: "The two of us will continue to study the Tanach. There were parts of the Tanach that were not in the material covered by the quiz, and it's -import ant for us to learn them too."
And Emunah had this recommendation:
"Study the Bible for 5 minutes every day Not for school, not for the Bible quiz, but just for how much fun it will be."
Sivan Rahav-Meir is a media personality and lecturer. Married to Yedidya, the mother of five. Lives in Jerusalem, and formerly served as the World Mizrachi Shlicha to North -Amer ica. Sivan lectures in Israel and overseas about the media, Judaism, Zionism and new media. She was voted by Globes newspaper as most popular female media personality in Israel and by the Jerusalem Post as one of the 50 most influential Jews in the world.
Lessons From A Tzaddik
Sivan Rahav-Meir Page 72 Redemption Without the Sword Rabbi Moshe Taragin Page 50
International Bible Quiz Champions Speak
Much excitement has surrounded -Emu nah Cohen and Neta Lax, the two fresh winners of the annual International Bible Quiz. Yesterday I interviewed them and heard their story.
It turns out that they studied long hours together and were confident they would be the leading competitors.
"We planned on winning together," Emunah revealed.
"We thought both of us would answer every question correctly so that we would both be champions, tied for first place.
But in the end Emunah won. "They made a big deal about our big hug after I lost," Neta said. "But it was the easiest thing to share in her happiness. Besides, we were just relieved that the competition was finally over."
In the course of the entire contest, Emunah made only one error. "I knew the answer to the question: 'When did King David cry for
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Upholding
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Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks
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Meaningful Parenting Rebbetzin Zemira Ozarowski
Rav Kook: Chanukah, A Light To The World Rabbi Aaron Goldscheider
Changing Diapers in the Proximity of Sefarim
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Shagririm BaLev: Turning One Date Into Two Aleeza Ben Shalom
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IMPORTANT REMINDERS
Last Opportunity to Say Kiddush Levana Until: 15 Kislev/Sun. night Dec. 15
COVER IMAGE Photographed by Deena Weiss
I made aliyah with my family 11 years ago to Ginot Shomron. This is a picture of Nachal Kana (the historical dividing line between the shvatim Menashe and Efraim) at sunrise, facing the direction of Shechem.
Therefore, the children of Israel do not eat the sinew of the thigh-vein” (32:33) Why?
Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki (1040-1105) points out that the word “Nashe” means that it “slipped” from its place. A reminder that G-d has helped make slip away all of our hardships. The Sefer Hachinuch (13th Century) wrote that this command is a reminder to the Jewish people that although they will endure great suffering at the hands of the descendants of Eisav, they will endure forever. How will it serve as a reminder? The Midrash points out that the guardian angel who fought with Yaakov wanted to annihilate him and his family. Unable to succeed, the angel touched his thigh, causing great pain. Similarly, the descendants of Eisav want to inflict pain and suffering to the children of Yaakov. However, just as Yaakov was rescued, “the sun shone on him” (32:32) and healed from the pain so too the children of Israel will be spared. The sun of Mashiach will shine on us and heal all the pain and suffering. - Shabbat Shalom
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Daf Yomi: Bava Basra 172
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RABBI AVI BERMAN EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, OU ISRAEL ABERMAN@OUISRAEL.ORG
Rabbi Avi Berman Executive Director, OU Israel
Growing up in Israel, I have come to know many people, including family and friends, who dedicate their lives to security for the State of Israel - whether in the Mossad, the Shin Bet, or any of the other security apparatuses that ensure each and every one of us can feel safe and secure in our homeland. These are people who have adopted a lifestyle that many of us cannot understand. Most people go to work, and then at the end of the day, they put their work aside and go home. But for those in the security world, there are no real “off” hours. You may have heard stories of security personnel who dropped everything on October 7th and ran to help defend the Jewish people, but most of us are blissfully unaware of how many terror attacks have been thwarted because of the quick actions of these security agents. This happens all the time, day in and day out, and they rarely get the credit they deserve.
I believe it is important that Am Yisrael show appreciation to these security personnel who work so hard for us, and their families who support them and don’t always know where they are or what they are doing for weeks or months at a time. I personally know people for whom the toll on their families is extremely
Condolences to
the family of Rabbi Meyer Fendel z”l on his passing
A true pioneer of Torah education, inspiring thousands of students in his long Chesed-filled life
heavy. Yet security members continue to do what they do because they believe in the Jewish State and the need to defend their people beats strongly in their chests. In this war, the awareness of the role of security personnel has been greatly heightened. So many families have experienced a family member receiving a call and immediately having to rush to parts unknown or military bases around the country.
Last week, we were told that our son Elyashiv, who is serving up north as a tank driver, would finally be coming home on Thursday after almost a month and a half of fighting up north. We were obviously so excited for his return, and our family, my children, my in-laws, everyone made arrangements to be able to see him home for Shabbat. However, about forty minutes before Shabbat, Elyashiv and his entire platoon received a call that they were to be in Yerushalayim by 6:00pm, as they were being sent back immediately to the Syrian border. By 9:30pm, they were already on base in the Golan getting ready for the next mission.
While I am so proud of Elyashiv, and I understand that he is doing what is necessary for Am Yisrael, we obviously miss him. I said to my family on Shabbat, with Elyashiv’s seat empty, “He came and he went, and that is hard for us. But do you realize how many families in this country live like this on a regular basis? A situation where their father, mother, son or daughter have taken a job that requires them to be on call 24/7, 365 days a year? Their families never know if they will be home for Shabbat. This is an opportunity to think about how much hakarat hatov we really need to have to those who sacrifice so much for the
security of the State of Israel.”
The choice to live in a country surrounded by enemies is not an easy one. Baruch Hashem we have faith that this is where HaKadosh Baruch Hu wants us to be. We have the great merit that we live here under the protection of a Jewish army strengthened by God.
There is no one person who ultimately has all the power to make sure we are secure; it is through their collective cooperation, through all the different security bodies, that we remain safe in our Land. We daven for them every single Shabbat in our Mi Sheberachs, but we also refer to them every day in the Amidah bracha of “Re’eh v’anyeinu v’riva riveinu,” “See our suffering and fight our battles,” and Tehillim - we are asking Hashem to fight these battles not only with miracles but also through the natural order, through the incredible defense forces who are His messengers.
We see in this week’s Parsha, Parshat Vayishlach, that Esav and his 400 men are on their way to Yaakov in order to kill him. We learn that Yaakov prepares in three different ways. One, he davens. Two, he sends gifts to his brother in appeasement. Three, he prepares for war, dividing his family and moving them to safety.
We can leave the paths of gifts and preparation for war to the Israeli government and IDF. However, all of us can and should daven. Pray for those who fight for us, who defend us and who keep us safe. Pray for an end to war. Pray for the hostages and pray for the evacuees. Pray for all of Israel. Without tefillah, we are missing a crucial element of our hishtadlut that Yaakov taught us to do, and without it, nothing can succeed. Indeed, this past week has shown us that sometimes, Hashem has others fight our wars for us. Our fears of Iran’s proxy in Syria have been alleviated (at least for the moment) because of rebel victories.
Of course, we are incredibly proud of our
soldiers on the front lines defending the Jewish People, and we at OU Israel send such a big hug and tremendous chizuk to those who put on their uniforms and go to war, risking their lives. As I write this, we unfortunately received the news that four of our beloved chayalim died in Lebanon and three in Gaza, as well as other brave chayalim injured in battle this week. Unfortunately, it seems that not a week goes by without hearing of the death of soldiers. We need to keep in mind that the more we daven, the more we give of ourselves into our tefillot, the more siyata d’shmaya our soldiers will have.
Let us learn from Yaakov Avinu. Encourage our government to try diplomacy. Support those who can fight our battles. Most of all, daven for the success of our dear soldiers who we love so much. And may we see more miracles come our way.
Wishing you all an uplifting and inspiring Shabbat,
Rabbi Avi Berman
In Loving Memory of
Beloved Wife, Daughter, Mother, Grandmother, Sister On
Pokroy,
Honoring the memory of Malka Chana Roth ד”יה
FROM THE DESK OF RABBI MOSHE HAUER
OU EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT
Upholding our Values
Upholding Torah values is far more complex than one might think.
Values are articulated in the Torah in two forms. There are commandments and prohibitions, including clean and clear halachic instructions and value statements. Upholding these values may not be easy but is a straightforward task.
The Torah also includes significant narrative portions that demonstrate how we are to live and actuate our values. Our sages (Bereishit Rabba 60:8) suggest that these implementation lessons may be even more essential to our lives as demonstrated by the Torah’s fulsome storytelling, which contrasts with its relatively terse articulation of commandments, yafeh sichatan shel avdei avot mi’Toratan shel banim. Yet these principles are far more subjective, requiring wisdom and nuance in their application.
Valuable insight can be derived from a careful reading of the complex biblical story of Shechem
In memory of
Rabbi Shimon Herman ל”ז beloved husband, father, grandfather and great-grandfather on his 6th yahrzeit, 15 Kislev
Charlotte, N’tina, Yehuda, Moshe, Shmuel, Reuven and families
and Dina (Bereishit 34). Shechem was a powerful man who violated Yaakov’s daughter. He subsequently sought to continue his relationship with Dina by marrying her and by proposing further intermarriage and integration of Jacob’s family within his community. Shechem’s community seemed to consider his behavior acceptable as it neither objected nor reacted to his crime. Dina’s brothers Shimon and Levi were deeply upset by the offense committed against their sister and the lack of communal reaction and proceeded to massacre the residents of the city. According to Rambam (Hilchot Melachim 9:14), the community was indeed legally culpable for its failure to uphold the universal moral code known as the Noahide laws.
Yaakov, however, repudiated his sons for their violent behavior and continued to do so even on his deathbed.
Yaakov was demonstrating an important biblical value. He – no less than his sons –objected to the immoral actions of Shechem. He – no less than his sons – was disturbed by the acceptability of such immoral behavior within the surrounding society. But he – far better than his sons – understood how to express and act upon his values within an environment that did not live by them.
Yaakov understood that whatever his principles and level of righteous indignation, no real purpose would be served by forcefully imposing his value system on a host society that did not embrace it. He would make the case for his values, but if that failed, he would seek to find the way for his family to live those values undisturbed, to coexist within that
and our next step will be to plant a fruit tree. I never thought of myself as being the agricultural type, but the feeling of settling and planting a portion of Eretz Yisrael, has been truly euphoric. Iy”H, when we plant our tree, and eat the fruits that will grow one day, I think we will be able to truly appreciate that unique Kedusha found in the fruit of Eretz Yisrael!
society, neither imposing his values on them nor having their values imposed upon him.
FROM THE DESK OF RABBI MOSHE HAUER
But that was not to be. Shechem sought to impose on Yaakov’s family by soliciting their embrace of his violation. Rather than moving on and allowing Yaakov to do the same, he sought to marry Dina and thereby perpetuate his offense to Yaakov and his family’s sensibilities. This was untenable. Even as Yaakov roundly rejected the violent response of his sons, he could not have his family become part of a community that sought to impose its way of life upon them.
OU Executive Vice President
Vayishlach –Yaakov’s Authenticity
To conclude, when you buy your Tu B'shvat fruit this year, don’t search for those dried apricots and banana chips imported from Turkey. Rather, head over to the fresh produce and buy yourself some nice juicy Kedusha-filled Jaffa oranges and thank Hashem for bringing you to this land in order to be able to הבוטמ עבשלו
Genuineness in our relationships is critical.
The biblical value taught by Yaakov guides us to live with pragmatic pluralism. We will never change our Halachic values, but we recognize that others will not always be immediately influenced by us to change their values or behaviors, and we must therefore have an approach to navigating how we will live with them.
At the beginning of our Parsha (32:5) Yaakov instructs his messengers, “This you shall say to my master to Eisav: ‘So said your servant Yaakov: I have sojourned with Lavan….”
, imbibing that Kedusha in every bite that you take!!
We of the traditional faith community must, however, demand the same from those who advance values opposed by the Torah. We cannot function in an environment where our commitment to coexistence goes unreciprocated and where we are not free to live our religious values without the shadow of aggressive imposition, lawsuit, or cancellation. It is incumbent upon all of us to realize the biblical vision (Melachim I 5:5) we can all embrace, sitting “under our own vine and fig tree where no one shall make us afraid.”
We notice that even when speaking privately to his own servants Yaakov refers to Eisav as his master. This would seem odd. Certainly, Yaakov recognized his spiritual superiority and knew as well that he had been given the blessing to rule over his brother. While we can appreciate his adoption of humble language, “your servant, Yaacov,” in the diplomatic message he sends his brother, why would he refer to Eisav as his master in private as well?
the Torah learning in this issue be in loving memory
Clearly, Yaakov was not ready to present or to be represented with a false standard. He would only ask his servants to address Eisav as the master if he would use the same language privately. And he could honestly do so, as – while he was undoubtedly mindful of his moral and spiritual superiority - he retained an awareness of Eisav being the older brother and occupying a powerful worldly position relative to Yaakov. When he said it, he meant it (see Ramban there).
This quality carries forward to the next generation as we see in next week’s Parsha (37:4), where we read how the brothers of Yosef could not speak with him peacefully. Rashi notes that while the situation described was negative, it nevertheless highlights their integrity as they did not present themselves as friends while harboring hatred in their hearts.
ANXIETY CAN
BE PARALYZING
Our relationships with those around us – family, friends, community, and colleagues – are the fundamental elements of our lives. It is critical that we convey a true sense of those bonds, being real and honest. May
Condolences to Jonah Mann and family on the passing of his brother
Contact: Yonatan Sapir, MSc, Psychotherapist
| ysapir1@gmail.com Offices in Jerusalem and Beit Shemesh
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PARSHAT VAYISHLACH
Yaakov’s challenges never seem to end. He returns to the Land of Israel. He is fearful of a confrontation with Esav. He prepares by dividing his entourage. A man fights him through the night, changing his name to Israel from Yaakov at dawn. Yaakov sends gifts to Esav to appease him. Esav runs, hugs Yaakov, kisses him and cries. Yaakov spurns Esav’s request that they settle together. Dinah is raped by Shechem in Shechem. Shimon and Levi kill the men of the city. Yaakov arrives at Beit El, the place of his ladder dream and builds an altar. Rachel dies giving birth to Binyamin. Reuven lies with Bilha. Yaakov is reunited with Yitzchak. Esav’s lineage is outlined.
Yaakov’s life is one of travail. Esav wanted to kill him; he fled for his life. The time with Lavan was full of hard work and deception. He fights with an angel. On his return home, he never reunites with his mother Rivka. He avoids
confrontation with Esav. Dina is raped. The city of Shechem is slaughtered. His dear wife Rachel dies in childbirth. And next week Yosef gets sold. We well understand Chazal’s comment at the beginning of next week’s parsha that Yaakov just sought some peace and quiet.
1ST ALIYA (32:4-13)
Yaakov sends messengers to Esav: Tell Esav that his servant Yaakov has been with Lavan. We have a large flock. Word comes back that Esav is approaching with 400 men. Yaakov is afraid; splits his entourage, so at least half will survive. And he prays: While I am undeserving, You promised that my progeny would be numerous.
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Yaakov does not know what to expect from Esav. Last we heard Esav wanted to kill Yaakov. Yaakov does not know if he still does. Because, there is a crucial lacuna in our story. Way back when Yaakov stole the blessing from Esav, Esav vowed to kill Yaakov. Rivka warned Yaakov to flee. But she also promised him that she would send word when the coast was clear, when Esav no longer sought to kill Yaakov (27:45). But she never did send word. Where’s his mother Rivka? The one who loved him? Yaakov never got word from her that it was safe to return. Now, he did get assurance from G-d to return and that He would be with him. But does that mean Esav still wants to kill him, but that G-d will be with him and protect him? Or that Esav has given up his anger?
2ND ALIYA (32:14-30)
Yaakov prepares gifts of his livestock for Esav with the message: from your servant Yaakov. A man fights Yaakov
overnight, wounding his thigh. At dawn the man tells him his name is Yisrael, for he fought G-d and man and prevailed.
Yaakov does not know if Esav harbors murderous intent. If he does, Yaakov attempts to appease him with gifts. Why does he think livestock gifts with a gift card attached, “from your servant Yaakov” will cool Esav’s murderous intent?
Esav wanted to kill Yaakov because Yaakov stole the bracha. What was that bracha? (27:28-29) “G-d will give you of the fat of the land, much grain and wine. And you will rule: your brother will bow to you.” A 3 part bracha: agricultural success, political power and dominance over your brother. Yaakov is telling Esav not to get too worked up about the bracha. Because it never came true. I have no agricultural success, no power and no dominance over you. All I have are animals. No land. Certainly, no fat of the land. And power? I have been a migrant worker with Lavan. And who is bowing to whom? “From your servant Yaakov”. 3 strikes – no fat of the land, no power, and you are the master, not me. So, no need to fuss over a bracha that was a blank.
3RD ALIYA (32:31-33:5)
Yaakov wakes with a limp, hence the prohibition of eating the sciatic nerve. He sees Esav. Divides his family. Esav runs to him, hugs, kisses and cries.
Yaakov must have sighed a sigh of relief. When he heard that Esav was coming with 400 men, he was convinced Esav still sought to kill him – otherwise, why the brigade? And, I never got word from Mom that Esav doesn’t want to kill me. And then Esav ran, hugged, kissed and cried. What a relief.
What changed Esav’s mind? Let’s leave Yaakov’s shoes. And jump into Esav’s. Rivka never sent word of Esav’s change of heart because he didn’t have one. He has every intention to kill Yaakov. Brings his army. But now he has
a change of heart. Why? Perhaps he was convinced by Yaakov that the bracha was a dud and so nothing to get worked up about. But the Torah seems silent on this crucial flip.
Why doesn’t it tell us why Esav changed his mind, gave up his intent to kill Yaakov and hugged him instead?
This leads the Midrash to question the sincerity of Esav’s hugs and kisses. In our written Torah there are dots over each letter of Esav’s kisses. This is a way of saying – take note, there is more than meets the eye in these kisses. Perhaps these kisses are fleeting; the murderous intent still lurking.
4TH ALIYA (33:6-20)
Esav is urged to accept Yaakov’s gifts. Esav offers that they live in brotherhood. Yaakov demurs, sending Esav ahead, hinting he will catch up. He turns instead toward the Land of Israel. He dwells in Sukkot and then in Shechem. He builds an altar and calls in the name of G-d.
Yaakov’s insistence on a complete separation from Esav could support the view that Esav’s kisses were insincere. Yaakov saw through the façade and hence wanted a complete separation.
And while Yaakov may have tried to convince Esav that the bracha of Yitzchak did not come to be, he does not believe that himself. He is convinced he is the heir to the Jewish legacy. He goes to Shechem and builds an altar. Why doesn’t he go immediately to Beit El? Didn’t he make a vow when he had the dream with the ladder that he would return to that spot? And why didn’t he immediately reunite with his mother and father? Why go to Shechem and not Beit El or Chevron?
He is following in Avraham’s footsteps – literally. Avraham journeyed from Charan; first stop in the land of Israel was Shechem, where he built an altar. Yaakov has just journeyed from Charan
to the Land of Israel, stopping first at Shechem and building an altar. He sees himself clearly as the heir of Avraham, walking in his footsteps.
5TH ALIYA (34:1-35:11)
Dina is raped by Shechem in Shechem. The brothers claim they will only ally with people who are circumcised. While the men are recovering Shimon and Levi kill them all. Yaakov is upset. But they counter; “can they make our sister a harlot?” G-d tells Yaakov to go to Beit El and make the promised altar. He does. G-d appears to him and tells him his name is Yisrael not Yaakov. And that nations and Kings will come from him.
The story of the rape of Dina is the first story of the next generation. And the brother’s rhetorical comment will be a clarion for the rest of the book – not what they said but what they implied. “Can they make our sister a harlot?” meaning, and we, her brothers stand idly by? No. We stand up for our siblings. Thus begins the rest of the book – brothers standing up for brothers. And while they stand up for Dina, they fail to stand up for Yosef.
Yaakov’s reaction to the slaughter of Shechem is also instructive. He criticizes the violence for it will impede good relations with the people of the Land. Yaakov may think that the Divine promise of the Land is about to unfold in his time. A promise was made to Avraham at the Brit bein habetarim: your children will be
strangers in a foreign land, enslaved, oppressed and only after a long time will return here. Yaakov was kind of a slave in a foreign land, was oppressed there – perhaps then the promise of the Land is to unfold in his time. And for that, bad relations with the people are a bad thing.
6TH ALIYA (35:12-36:19)
G-d affirms the promise of the Land to Yaakov. Yaakov builds altars, traveling south. Rachel dies while giving birth to Binyamin. Reuven lies with Bilha. Yaakov goes to Chevron, to Yitzchak. Yitzchak dies at age 180, buried by Esav and Yaakov.
Yaakov continues walking in Avraham’s footsteps, traveling south and building altars. But Yaakov’s life differs, tragically, from Avraham and Yitzchak. He proceeds without Rachel, his dear wife. Women have played a dominant role until here. Rachel’s death deprives Yaakov of the wise feminine voice that Avraham had with Sarah and Yitzchak had with Rivka. Would Yosef have had that special coat had Yaakov had Rachel’s counsel?
7TH ALIYA (36:20-43)
Esav’s descendants are enumerated: nations and kings.
As with Yishmael, Esav’s family is detailed. This is the end of the story of who is in the Jewish people and who out. The rest of the Torah is the story of Yaakov and his family, all of whom are the Jewish people.
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Covenant & Conversation
COVENANT & CONVERSATION
THOUGHTS ON THE WEEKLY PARSHA
Thoughts on the Weekly Parsha
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FORMER CHIEF RABBI OF THE UNITED HEBREW CONGREGATIONS OF THE COMMONWEALTH
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May the learning of these Divrei Torah be תמשנ יוליעל HaRav Ya'akov Zvi ben David Arieh zt"l
The Jewish Journey
Why is Jacob the father of our people, the hero of our faith? We are “the congregation of Jacob”, “the children of Israel.” Yet it was Abraham who began the Jewish journey, Isaac who was willing to be sacrificed, Joseph who saved his family in the years of famine, Moses who led the people out of Egypt and gave it its laws. It was Joshua who took the people into the Promised land, David who became its greatest king, Solomon who built the Temple, and the prophets through the ages who became the voice of God.
The account of Jacob in the Torah seems to fall short of these other lives, at least if we read the text literally. He has tense relationships with his brother Esau, his wives Rachel and Leah, his father-in-law Laban, and with his three eldest children, Reuben, Simon and Levi. There are times when he seems full of fear, others when he acts – or at least seems to act – with less than total honesty. In reply to Pharaoh, he says of himself, “The days of my life have been few and hard” (Gen. 47:9). This is less than we might expect from a hero of faith. That is why so much of the image we have
of Jacob is filtered through the lens of Midrash – the Oral Tradition preserved by the Sages. In this tradition, Jacob is all good, Esau all bad. It had to be this way – so argued Rabbi Zvi Hirsch Chajes in his essay on the nature of Midrashic interpretation – because otherwise we would find it hard to draw from the biblical text a clear sense of right and wrong, good and bad.1 The Torah is an exceptionally subtle book, and subtle books tend to be misunderstood. So the Oral Tradition made it simpler: black and white instead of shades of grey.
Yet perhaps, even without Midrash, we can find an answer – and the best way of so doing is to think of the idea of a journey.
Judaism is about faith as a journey. It begins with the journey of Abraham and Sarah, leaving behind their “land, birthplace, and father’s house” and travelling to an unknown destination, “the land I will show you.”
The Jewish people is defined by another journey in a different age: the journey of Moses and the Israelites from Egypt across the desert to the Promised Land. That journey becomes a litany in the Parshat Masei: “They left X and they camped in Y. They left Y and they camped in Z.” To be a Jew is to move, to travel, and only rarely, if ever, to settle down. Moses warns 1. The Maharatz Chajes explains this traditionally ‘black and white’ view of Jacob and Esau in the Mavo ha-Aggadot printed at the beginning of Eyn Yaakov.
the people of the danger of settling down and taking the status quo for granted, even in Israel itself:
“When you have children and grandchildren, and have been established in the land for a long time, you might become decadent” (Deut. 4:25)
Hence the rules that Israel must always remember its past, never forget its years of slavery in Egypt, never forget on Succot that our ancestors once lived in temporary dwellings, never forget that it does not own the land –it belongs to God – and we are merely there as God’s gerim ve-toshavim, “strangers and sojourners” (Lev. 25:23).
Why so? Because to be a Jew means not to be fully at home in the world. To be a Jew means to live within the tension between heaven and earth, creation and revelation, the world that is and the world we are called on to make; between exile and home, and between the universality of the human condition and the particularity of Jewish identity. Jews don’t stand still except when standing before God. The universe, from galaxies to subatomic particles, is in constant motion, and so is the Jewish soul.
We are, we believe, an unstable combination of dust of the earth and breath of God, and this calls on us constantly to make decisions, choices, that will make us grow to be as big as our ideals, or, if we choose wrongly, make us shrivel into small, petulant creatures obsessed by trivia. Life as a journey means striving each day to be greater than we were the day before, individually and collectively.
If the concept of a journey is a central metaphor of Jewish life, what in this regard is the difference between Abraham, Isaac and Jacob?
Abraham’s life is framed by two journeys both of which use the phrase Lech lecha, “undertake a journey”, once in Genesis 12 when he was told to leave his land and father’s house, the other in Genesis 22:2 at the Binding
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of Isaac, when he was told, “Take your son, the only one you love – Isaac – and go [lech lecha] to the region of Moriah.”
What is so moving about Abraham is that he goes, immediately and without question, despite the fact that both journeys are heart-wrenching in human terms. In the first he must leave his father. In the second he must let go of his son. He has to say goodbye to the past and risk saying farewell to the future. Abraham is pure faith. He loves God and trusts Him absolutely. Not everyone can achieve that kind of faith. It is almost superhuman.
Isaac is the opposite. It is as if Abraham, knowing the emotional sacrifices he has had to make, knowing too the trauma Isaac must have felt at the Binding, seeks to protect his son as far as lies within his power. He makes sure that Isaac does not leave the Holy Land (see Genesis 24:6 – that is why Abraham does not let him travel to find a wife). Isaac’s one journey (to the land of the Philistines, in Genesis
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26) is limited and local. Isaac’s life is a brief respite from the nomadic existence Abraham and Jacob both experience.
Jacob is different again. What makes him unique is that he has his most intense encounters with God – they are the most dramatic in the whole book of Genesis – in the midst of the journey, alone, at night, far from home, fleeing from one danger to the next, from Esau to Laban on the outward journey, from Laban to Esau on his homecoming.
In the midst of the first he has the blazing epiphany of the ladder stretching from earth to heaven, with angels ascending and descending, moving him to say on waking, “God is truly in this place, but I did not know it...This must be God’s house and this the gate to heaven” (Gen. 28:16-17). None of the other patriarchs, not even Moses, has a vision quite like this.
On the second, in our Parsha, he has the haunting, enigmatic wrestling match with the man/angel/God, which leaves him limping but permanently transformed – the only person in the Torah to receive from God an entirely new name, Israel, which may mean, “one who has wrestled with God and man” or “one who has become a prince [sar] before God”.
What is fascinating is that Jacob’s meetings with angels are described by the same verb ‘p-g-sh’, (Gen. 28:11, and 32:2) which means “a chance encounter”, as if they took Jacob by surprise, which they clearly they did. Jacob’s most spiritual moments are ones he did not plan. He was thinking of other things, about what he was leaving behind and what lay ahead of him. He was, as it were, “surprised by God.”
Jacob is someone with whom we can identify. Not everyone can aspire to the loving faith and total trust of an Abraham, or to the seclusion of an Isaac. But Jacob is someone we understand. We can feel his fear, understand his pain at the tensions in his family, and sympathise with his
These weekly teachings from Rabbi Sacks zt”l are part of his ‘Covenant & Conversation’ series on the weekly Torah teaching. With thanks to the Schimmel Family for their generous sponsorship, dedicated in loving memory of Harry (Chaim) Schimmel. Visit www.RabbiSacks.org for more.
PROBING THE PROPHETS
BY RABBI NACHMAN (NEIL) WINKLER FACULTY, OU ISRAEL CENTER
A Hateful Enemy
The exclusive concept expressed in Sefer Ovadya, the haftarah for this Shabbat, is that of the eventual fall of the nation of Edom is revealed in the very opening pasuk of the sefer. There, Hashem sends His messenger throughout the lands to tell the nations: “Rise up against her (Edom) in battle!” The connection of this theme to our parasha is based upon the opening of the weekly portion that depicts the menacing approach of Eisav, the patriarch of the Edomite nation, to Ya’akov and his family.
Jacob’s concern that led to his attempts to pacify his brother, was fully understandable. The advance of Eisav and his weaponized followers, threatened the very survival of Ya’akov and the entire family.
Nonetheless, our Rabbis’ selection of this reading may more directly reflect Chazal’s view of Edom based upon the subsequent history that played out between the two nations. After all, the Torah reveals that Eisav caused no harm to Ya’akov, and that his 400 men never attacked Jacob’s family and, in the end, the two reunite in an emotional and heartfelt meeting.
That was not to be true, however, of the nations’ future relationship. Throughout Biblical history, Edom stood as one of the most hateful enemies of Israel that, at times, was conquered by Israel but, most of the time, opposed, attacked and invaded the Judean Kingdom. In
fact, Chazal saw Edom/Eisav as the arch-enemy of Israel – not only because Eisav his grandson was Amalek but also because the books of the nevi’im are filled with condemnations of Edom – more so, in fact, than of any other nation in the entire Tanach.
As we learn when reading our haftarah, Ovadya decries the perfidy of Eisav’s nation for their failure to assist the Israelite captives and, worse, for their active involvement in aiding Israel’s enemies. But as we further read of their treachery in the books of Shoftim and Shmuel A, we find harsh words directed against them in the books of Yishayahu, Yirmiyahu and Yechezkel, and in those of Amos, Malachi and Tehillim. Indeed, we read in the Psalms how their behavior at the time of the Babylonian invasion (as depicted in perek 137; 7), increased the harshness of Israel’s banishment, through their encouraging cries to the enemy to utterly destroy Yerushalayim to its very foundation. Such behavior in itself would be sufficient reason for our prophets to target this nation as Israel’s arch-enemy, but R. Yehuda Kiel’s z”l enlightening comment in Da’at Mikra better clarifies, even crystallizes, our Sages’ damning condemnations and denigrations of Edom.
Rav Kiel reveals that Edom was an especially dangerous enemy for it did not wage war against Israel for the purpose of ruling her or demanding taxes from her residents. Edom, living within limited borders, attempted to take over the entire Land of Israel and make it the Land of Edom. The goal of this enemy was to undo the blessing of Avraham and take over the Promised Land. It was for this
be in loving memory and נ"
our dear parents whose yahrtzeits are in Kislev
been memorialized in a popular song, "An eternal people does not fear the long and arduous path."
descendants dwell from Egypt to Assyria. Yishmael’s story is brief. He has numerous and powerful offspring. The brevity
Doris Weinberger a"h
reason, therefore, that Chazal regarded it as an especially dangerous adversary. So much so that, over the years, Jewish tradition saw Edom as “morphing” into the Roman Empire and, eventually, into the early Christians as well.
Max Weinberger z”l
A SHORT VORT
his son Shlomo succeed him.
Adoniyahu convinces two very signif-
BY RABBI CHANOCH YERES R av, Beit Knesset Beit Yisrael, Yemin Moshe
Greatly missed by their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren
Our haftarah reminds us that the story of Ya’akov and Eisav does not end in our parasha. The strained relationship continues into future generations and remains as an ongoing reminder of the struggle we must face against those who hate, and hope to destroy, our people.
Patience is necessary for those who follow Isaac's way. But a wise woman taught us that patience is but another name for hope. That woman was Jane Austen, who put these words into the mouth of one of the characters in her great novel, Sense and Sensibility: "Know your own happiness. You want nothing but patience—or give it a more fascinating name: call it hope."
When Avraham addresses the people of Cheit, trying to acquire a burial spot for his wife, he says “Ger V’Toshav Anochi Eimachem” (23:4) “A Stranger and a Resident am I with you”
Rav Aryeh and Dvora Weinberger
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This seems to be a contradiction. If one is a stranger than he is not a resident, if he is a resident than he is no longer a stranger. What did Avraham mean?
Menachem and Hannah Katten
The Magid of Dubno (Jacob ben Wolf Kranz 1741-1804) explains that Avraham watched how he spoke in this tense situation in order to, both, state his truth and be able to keep the peace -Shalom Bayit. Avraham said, on the one hand, “I am a Resident’ due to G-d’s promise to receive this Land and on the other hand, I still need your agreement to purchase a plot. In other words, Avraham implied “I am the resident” and you are the “strangers”, while they understood him as saying that “they” are the residents and Avraham is the stranger.
Rabbi Winkler’s popular Jewish History lectures can be viewed by visiting the OU Israel Video archive: https://www.ouisrael.org/video-l ibrary
In observance of the Shloshim of our friend Yehuda Leib Berren z"l
The peace was kept, and Avraham remained true to his ideals.
Shabbat Shalom
Rav Menachem Weinberg will give a shiur in his memory "Heroic Joy"
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And Yaakov was left alone, and a man (angel) wrestled with him until the break of dawn. (Bereshit 32:25)
Yaakov transferred his family and belongings across a stream and then he was left alone. He was tired, weak and unarmed. He was confronted by a powerful professional warrior. Why did Yaakov even put up a fight? Why did he not surrender to the foe who attacked him in the dark?
Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik (Masoret Harav) asked whether Yaacov acted absurdly and illogically by facing a mighty adversary. The same individual who exhibited business acumen in the house of Lavan, now took a leap into the absurd?
The Rav explains that what Yaakov exhibited was not חכ (strength) but rather הרובג (heroism), which is employed when reason despairs
and logic retreats. A hero is typically defined as someone who wins a big battle. A momentary victory creates a hero. In contrast, Biblical heroism is based on an eternal goal – something worth fighting for, albeit against all odds. The Hashmonaim, a small group successfully defeating a much larger and more powerful army are heroes.
The Rav declares that a young married couple that is able to withhold temptation in the privacy of their bedroom to adhere to the halachot of taharat hamishpacha are heroes. As Chazal tell us ורצי
. The Torah defines a hero as someone who can overcome temptations. Someone driven by a goal, who has passion for a value. Someone not driven by recognition but by results. That was Yaakov. He was able to defeat the angel because of his determination.
Our soldiers who are fighting on the front line are true heroes. The individuals that fought against the terrorists on Oct 7th are heroes. The hostages being held in Gaza are heroes. The families who lost loved ones and whose members are fighting are true heroes. All of these people are able to withstand challenges due to their faith, belief and unequivocal commitment to the State of Israel and the Jewish nation.
May we follow in Yaakov’s footsteps, continue to strengthen our Emunah and Bitachon, and once again be victorious over our enemies.
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Perfecting Possessions
“Vayivater Yakov levado – And Yakov was left alone.” (Bereisheet 32:25) Rashi wonders, how is it that Yakov was left alone if he crossed the river with his family? Rashi then tells us that Yakov went back to retrieve some small vessels that he had forgotten on the other side. Chazal teach us here that a tzadik considers his possessions as even more dear to him than his own body. What can we learn here about our relationship with our assets, property and belongings?
In Da’at Torah, Rav Yerucham Levovitz zt”l shows how this offers us a paradigm shift in the way we relate to what we own. Many people have a flippant or careless attitude when it comes to their less valuable things. If something gets lost or ruined, the general feeling is, “It’s no big deal, after all, how much is it actually worth? And really, I have so much more.” Or “It’s more of a trouble to save it than replace it.” Rather, says Rav Levovitz, one should view each thing that he owns as a direct gift of Divine Providence and not only treat each item as special, but also guard it as best as he can. When one has this perspective, he will work on appreciating what he has and use it to the fullest, instead of increasing his status with more and more objects. Hence, the Ari Hakadosh notes that Yaakov Avinu knew that if Hashem gifted him with these small jugs, he
ought not treat them with disdain, better to do what he could to retrieve them.
Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l in Darash Moshe shares another dimension to this idea. In essence, he notes, nothing we own is really ours; everything belongs to Hashem even while we are holding it. Understanding this helps us to recalibrate our priorities. Instead of amassing material goods for their own sake we can use what we have to help others. In Parashat Pekudei, Rav Moshe explains that each person will have to give an accounting of how he spent every penny or shekel through the years of his life. Wealth and physical possessions are points of potential, a means to achieving spiritual greatness.
When one has such an attitude toward his possessions and is careful to acquire things in a permissible way, he will reach a higher dimension. A story is told of Rav Chaim of Volozhin that illustrates this quite well. Once, his table was set with fine glassware and dishes. A guest accidentally pulled the tablecloth causing everything to crash to the ground. Rav Chaim assured those assembled not to worry, he was certain that everything remained intact, and indeed he was correct. “How could it be?” wondered the guests incredulously. The rav explained that each object had been acquired with “kosher” money; nothing had been stolen or gotten via oppressing another and therefore the laws of nature did not apply to these items.
Let us take the lesson of Yakov Avinu’s pachim ketanim, his small jugs, to heart and evaluate our mindsets vis a vis our personal belongings and paraphernalia to use these gifts from Hashem in the best way we can.
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Real Life Rescues
Real Life Rescues
From Shabbat Meal to Saving a Life
EMT Saves Baby from Severe Allergic Reaction Following First Taste of Tahini
Chaim Horowitz was enjoying a Shabbat meal with guests at his Jerusalem home when an emergency call went off on his communications device — someone had fallen unconscious just around the corner.
On a recent Tuesday morning in Jerusalem, parents were feeding their 6-month-old baby and introduced him to tahini for the first time. Within minutes, the baby developed a severe allergic reaction. The infant's parents immediately called emergency services, seeking urgent help.
Without hesitation, Horowitz rushed from his meal, arriving at the scene within 90 seconds on his emergency response bike.
United Hatzalah volunteer EMT Shalom Klein, alerted to the emergency through his proximity alert system, sprang into action as the first responder on the scene. Arriving promptly, Shalom was confronted with a distressing sight - a baby boy with swollen lips and tongue, struggling to breathe, and covered in a worrisome rash.
He wasn't alone; another United Hatzalah EMT, Yisrael Horowitz, reached the location simultaneously, followed closely by volunteer Naftali Shmerler, who had rushed straight from synagogue, his prayer shawl still draped over his shoulders.
Recognizing the symptoms as indicative of an anaphylactic shock, the volunteer knew immediate intervention was crucial. Without hesitation, he administered a life-saving EpiPen injection, delivering a dose of epinephrine to counteract the severe allergic reaction. The powerful medication quickly took effect, and the infant's breathing became less labored. The swelling in the lips and tongue began to subside, providing much-needed relief to the child.
The team swiftly made their way upstairs to find an unconscious woman without a pulse or breathing.
In the choreographed precision that comes from rigorous training, Chaim immediately attached his United Hatzalah defibrillator while the other EMTs began administering CPR and oxygen. The first shock from the defibrillator proved crucial; the patient immediately began gasping for air.
As the symptoms continued to recede, the EMT monitored his condition while awaiting the arrival of a mobile intensive care ambulance. Several minutes later, the ambulance team arrived and transported the infant to the nearest hospital for further treatment and observation.
Reflecting on the incident, Shalom emphasized the importance of having an EpiPen readily available. "It's a great thing I had an EpiPen in my medical kit," he stated. "An EpiPen can save a person's life within minutes and is a huge help for both EMTs and patients."
Two United Hatzalah volunteer doctors, Dr. Shlomo Gensler and Dr. Aryeh Yaffe, swiftly arrived on scene. They quickly enhanced the level of care, connecting a monitor and administering medications while maintaining ventilation.
Their collective efforts bore fruit as the patient began breathing independently before being transferred to the hospital for further care.
"It was an incredible moment, bringing a life back from the brink of death," Chaim reflected.
"The family was overwhelmed with gratitude, stunned to see her go from lifeless to talking as we transferred her to the ambulance."
"When I returned home, my wife asked me what happened. I told her our rapid response and use of our United Hatzalah defibrillator had saved a woman's life. There is no greater feeling."
FILM SCREENING
Tragic Awakening is a post-October 7th film rethinking antisemitism’s roots, turning hatred into strength for Jewish identity and Western values.
PANEL CONVERSATION
RABBI JUDAH
Executive Director, Camp HASC
Author of Baderech: Along the Path of Teshuva (Mosaica 2021)
Mischel EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, CAMP HASC AUTHOR OF BADERECH: ALONG THE PATH OF TESHUVA (MOSAICA 2021)
Illuminating the World
The author of Pri Ha’aretz, Rebbe Menachem Mendel of Vitebsk, zy’a, was considered the primary successor to the path of the Baal Shem Tov after the passing of Reb Dov Ber, the Maggid of Mezeritch. A talmid-chaver of the Maggid, Reb Mendel was respected for his tzidkus, humility, strength of emunah and scholarship. Seeing an opportunity to hasten the process of kibbutz galuyos, the ingathering of the exiles and redemption, the Vitebsker led a group of chassidim on aliyah to Eretz Yisrael, and with great sacrifice and perseverance, settled in Tveriya in 1777.
One day, a fervent (and slightly unbalanced) individual dressed in white climbed up Har haZeisim in Yerushalayim and blew a shofar. It was not long until the rumor spread that Moshiach had arrived, setting off great excitement and commotion all around town. The chevreh ran to Reb Mendel. “Is it possible,” they gasped, “that the Mashiach has arrived?”
The Vitebsker’s face lit up in anticipation: “Let’s see!” The tzadik stood up, walked to the window, opened it and inhaled deeply through his nostrils. After a moment, he furrowed his brow. “Chevreh, it says with the arrival of redemption, ‘The world will be filled with the knowledge of Hashem as the waters cover the sea.’ I don’t sense that is the case; unfortunately, Mashiach is not quite here yet…”
After fleeing from his brother Eisav, only to spend 20 years serving Lavan in Padan-Aram, Yaakov Avinu flees again, this time with his wives and a mass of possessions. Now, Yaakov Avinu understands that he will finally need to meet his aggrieved brother face-to-face. He prepares spiritually, politically and militarily for the looming confrontation. On the eve of the dreaded day, alone and vulnerable, he encounters the ‘angel of Eisav’, and wrestles with him throughout the night. Although fiercely powerful, the angel finally submits and cries,
, “Let me go, for dawn has broken” (32:27).
The Zohar haKadosh (Vayishlach, 170a) points to the significance of this timing and imagery: “Let me go, for dawn has broken.” Rebbe Yehuda ‘opened’ and said:
Who is that gazing down like the dawn, beautiful as the moon, clear as the sun, fearful as an army with banners? (Shir haShirim, 6:10)
‘Who is that gazing down’ refers to Klal Yisrael. When Hashem raises them up and brings them out of the exile, He will open for them a tiny, minuscule aperture of light. Afterwards, he will open for them another point and then another slightly larger than the
first, until HaKadosh Baruch Hu will open the supernal gates that open to the four corners of the world.’”
The Midrash addresses why process of redemption compared to dawn:
“The redemption of this people does not come all at once, rather bit by bit. And what is the benefit in that it gradually goes on growing before the eyes of Yisrael? Insofar as now they see great troubles, if redemption would come all at once, they wouldn’t be able to endure great salvation — it would come within the great troubles. Therefore, it comes bit by bit, and proceeds to grow. And this is why redemption is compared to the rising of the dawn: ‘Then your light will break forth like the dawn.’(Yeshayah, 58:8)
“This is because there is no greater darkness than that of the hour closest to morning. If the entire sun would rise at that time, when people are sleeping, everyone would be entrapped. Rather, the morning star rises first and illuminates the world. Afterwards, the sun itself rises and gives its light, and no one becomes entrapped.” (Midrash Tehillim, 18:36)
The “ish”, ‘man’, or angel with whom Yaakov struggles is unnamed. As Reb Noson of Breslov in Likutei Halachos (Tefilas haMincha, 7:19) points out, this lack of a specific name reminds us that every generation has its own specific challenges and yetzer ha-ra, a force that opposes holiness. When Yaakov asks for his name, the saro shel Eisav replies with resistance: ימשל לאשת הז המל, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And this is because the yetzer doesn’t have one specific, static name or identity; it manifests in different forms and iterations according to the context.
While struggling with this ‘entity’, Yaakov
this tension is and the primary opposition to holiness in that moment and time. And this, Reb Noson explains, is the meaning of המחלמ רוד רודמ קלמעב ׳הל, “Hashem has a war with Amalek in every generation.” The kelipah of Amalek manifests differently in each generation; it has many names.
At the beginning of this episode, the Torah tells us ודבל בקעי רתויו, “And Yaakov was left alone” (32:25). Midrash Tanchuma (Toldos, 5) says this verse foreshadows our destiny to be alone and isolated among the nations, “a lone sheep among seventy wolves”. The names and details may change, but the essential struggle remains the same. Ramban, too, affirms that this entire episode is an allusion to events in the future generations of the people of Ya’akov.
Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch writes that throughout the entire nocturnal struggle,
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Yaakov’s adversary tries to pull the ground out from underneath his feet, making a ‘valiant’ effort to deny him the possibility of being rooted, stable and settled in the Land. Ultimately, of course, the adversary fails. This teaches us that there are times in our history — and in our present generation — when our enemies will seem to overwhelm us and threaten to uproot us from our Land. However, we have a Divine assurance that even if we feel unsettled and are battle-bruised, limping away having narrowly escaped, even if things look very dark, Netzach Yisrael lo yishaker — “The Eternal One of Yisrael will never lie,” chas v’Shalom. We will always persevere. One by one, as our enemies and accusers will submit, our soul-glow will shine, until the Ribono Shel Olam opens the global floodgates to the light of dawn.
So why did Reb Mendel Vitebsker need to open his window in order to ascertain whether or not Moshiach has arrived? He could have just as well known it from the air inside of his home!’
Reb Mendel’s home, his own dalet amos, was always suffused with the heavenly fragrance of Geulah. When his Chasidim came to ask him about Mashiach, they meant to say: ‘Has Mashiach been revealed in the world outside of your home? Has the time come for the world at large to be redeemed?’ To answer this, the Vitebsker needed to open the window of his private space and take in the air from the outside world. Reb Mendel was already living in moshiach tzeit, the ‘times of Mashiach’. He had struggled and overcome the yetzer in his own life, opening a geulah peratis, an individual level of redemption. In this way, he was a point of light, a morning star appearing before the sunrise of the Geulah Klalis, a forerunner of the Collective Redemption that will soon
illuminate all of us. May each of us overcome our individual struggles, entrapments, subtle imbalances — and the Amalek of our generation — to become ‘morning stars’ to one another, alleviating one another’s ‘aloneness’. May we root ourselves firmly in the Land and add points of light with our every deed, singing along with David haMelech, רחש הריעא, “I will awaken the dawn!” (Tehillim, 108:3)
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Yoni thanks Hashem for having the opportunity of having Tziporah in his life, to learn of her caring, patience and happiness, to overcome her challenges. May Tziporah's Neshama be a light onto the world, in a time of darkness, and may her Neshama shine to Gan Eden. Yoni misses Tziporah with tears in his eyes, as Hashem gave him a gift, a crown jewel, now he returns her to Hashem. With thanks and Toda. Love, Yoni
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RABBI DR. AKIVA TATZ
SIMCHAT SHMUEL
BY RABBI SAM SHOR
Program
Director, OU Israel Center
BY RABBI SAM SHOR DIRECTOR, TORAH INITIATIVES, OU ISRAEL
Parshat Vayishlach finds Yaakov Avinu as he is about to re-encounter his twin brother Eisav, and he is quite worried about that meeting. Before he goes to sleep that evening, he utters a tefilla, using language that should seem familiar to each of us.
beautiful work Explorations offers a rather unique interpretation of our verse:
If Yaakov is truly alone, who can he be wrestling with? The most straightforward answer is that he was, in fact, alone; no one else was there to wrestle with him. Yaakov was wrestling with himself.
Then Yaakov said, “G-d of my father Abraham and G-d of my father Yitzchak, Hashem, who said to me, ‘Return to your native land and I will deal bountifully with you.’
Yaakov Avinu, at this moment of great personal crisis, employs very similar language as we, his descendants, do when we daven daily, invoking the merit of his father Avraham and grandfather Yitzchak before him (we of course add Yaakov’s name as well).
Subsequently the Torah tells us:
And Yaakov was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn.
Many meforshim offer various interpretations of this incident, where Yaakov is left alone, and then engages in some sort of struggle with a mysterious individual. My distinguished teacher and colleague, Rabbi Ari Kahn, in his
Rabbi Kahn’s insight, perhaps, can help us to uncover a fundamental message that is alluded to in these pesukim.
Seemingly, Yaakov has uttered his tefilla, entered into a deep contemplative state and internal struggle. He emerges from this dream-like experience, and he has received a new name-Yisrael, he has been injured and impaired in his leg, and this experience has an impact for his descendants for all eternity..
Yaakov himself is physically changed, his identity is transformed, and there is an implication for all subsequent generations to refrain from eating from the gid hanasheh.
How might this entire episode come to teach us about the goals of tefilla and its impact and implication in each of our lives? What is the experience of tefilla really meant to be for each of us?
Rav Kook zt’l (as cited in the Sefer Mishnat HaRav,edited by Rav Moshe Zvi Nerya zt’l) explained the transformative capacity inherent within the experience of tefilla.
The difference between one who davens and one who does not do so, is not simply that one individual sets aside time each day for tefilla while the other one does not, rather there is an existential difference. The world views of these two individuals are completely different- those moments spent each day in tefilla leave a lasting imprint on the entire day...
When tefilla is a part of our daily lives, it
grounds us, it gives us the opportunity to clear our minds, to approach whatever challenges may be weighing on our minds and hearts with spiritual fortitude, courage and hope. Tefilla, as explained by Rav Kook, is a vehicle to both transform our own lives, and in some meta-physical way, to transform the entire world.
Yehi Ratzon, may each of us merit to grasp the great gift of transformation and growth that is inherent within each and every
David B Marmor, MD
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GEULAS YISRAEL
GEULAS YISRAEL
RABBI
MOSHE TARAGIN
RAM YESHIVAT HAR ETZION
MAGGID SHIUR ALL PARSHA AND ALL DAF, OU.ORG
Please continue to pray for my son
Noam Avraham ben Atara Shlomit
Redemption Without the Sword
The abduction of Dinah plunges Ya’akov’s family into a dramatic and perilous confrontation. Shimon and Levi, driven by a fierce sense of justice and family honor, wage war against the townspeople of Shechem. Their decision to wield the sword unsettles Ya’akov. His unease is palpable as he questions their judgment, fearing the long-term consequences of their actions.
In response, Shimon and Levi erupt with moral indignation, declaring ?וניתוחא
Shall our sister be treated as a harlot?
Their words bristle with outrage at the unspeakable crime committed against Dinah and the dishonor it has brought upon their family. They frame their retaliation as a moral imperative, a defiant stand against shame and injustice.
The Torah leaves Ya’akov’s answer shrouded in silence, inviting the question: were Shimon and Levi justified in their violent response, or did they overstep the bounds of justice? The retort of Shimon and Levi to Ya’akov, framed as
a piercing rhetorical question, remains unanswered, leaving us to grapple with the delicate tension between righteous moral outrage and the discipline of measured restraint.
CURSE THEIR ANGER
The unresolved tension in Parshat Vayishlach is reexamined in Parshat Vayechi. While Ya’akov bestows blessings upon his sons, he pointedly chastises Shimon and Levi for their unbridled anger and their readiness to resort to violence. His critique of their temperament is unmistakable, yet he stops short of outright condemning their intervention in Shechem.
Adding to the ambiguity, Ya’akov later endows the city of Shechem to Yosef, referring to it as the land he acquired “with my sword and my bow.” This phrasing hints at something unmentioned in Parshat Vayishlach—that Ya’akov joined his children in the battle of Shechem.
Ya’akov’s designation of Shechem as the city he acquired through military means hints at a degree of tacit approval or, at the very least, his alignment with his sons’ cause. If Ya’akov had been adamantly opposed to their actions, it is unlikely he would have designated the city of Shechem as the city he acquired through military effort.
Both in Vayishlach and Vayechi, Ya’akov’s stance remains enigmatic. The Torah seems intentionally silent, leaving the question unresolved. Was the violent response to Dinah’s abduction an act of justice or an impulsive overreach?
PREVIOUS MILITARY ENCOUNTERS
Zooming out, Ya’akov faced two other moments of potential military conflict during
his turbulent journey. The first arose when Lavan pursued him, fueled by anger and intent on confrontation. This potential clash, however, diffused peacefully. A divine vision intervened, as Hashem appeared to Lavan in a dream, warning him against harming Ya’akov. The encounter culminated in a peace treaty, marked by the construction of a monument to symbolize their pact.
The second, even graver threat awaited Ya’akov upon his return to the Land of Israel. His estranged brother Esav, harboring years of resentment, approached with a force of 400 men, armed and seemingly intent on revenge. The shadow of imminent violence loomed large, heightening the tension as Ya’akov prepared for the worst.
This threat too is resolved without violence. Ya’akov and Eisav, though not on the best of terms, part ways in a manner that, if not amicable, at least maintains peace between them.
To summarize: Ya’akov encounters the prospect of military conflict three times. Twice, war is averted, and in the single instance where violence erupts, his stance remains shrouded in ambiguity.
IS WAR NECESSARY?
The ambiguity surrounding Ya’akov’s attitude toward war, woven into the narratives of Parshiyot Vayishlach and Vayechi, mirrors a broader uncertainty about how we approach the concept of war. On the one hand, we cannot afford to be naïve. We live in a region fraught with peril, surrounded by adversaries who hold no regard for human life and are resolutely committed to our destruction. Without a strong, capable armed force, survival in such an environment would be impossible—except through open miracles. Hashem does not desire that we rely solely on miracles; we are commanded to prepare and take responsibility for our defense. The necessity of waging war goes far beyond
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assembling an army and stockpiling weapons. It demands the cultivation of a culture that celebrates military achievement, instills pride in our soldiers, and reveres the sanctity of their mission. Those who stand on the front lines, defending our nation, are not merely fighters— they are heroes, embodying the resilience and courage of our people.
Beyond its practical significance, the symbolism of a Jewish army resonates deeply with the scars of our history. For generations, Jewish communities lived at the mercy of foreign armies, utterly defenseless against the whims of tyrants and oppressors. The sight of a Jewish soldier in a Jewish uniform represents a profound reversal of this historical vulnerability—a vision our ancestors could scarcely imagine but fervently yearned for.
Today, the green of an IDF uniform has become a sacred color, imbued with the weight of Jewish history and the fulfillment of age-old
prayers. A Jewish army is not merely a necessity; it is a testament to our survival, strength, and sovereignty.
AVOIDING MILITANTISM
Our efforts to prepare for defense and wage noble, moral wars must not descend into a culture of militantism, where war is seen as an ideal or glorified at all costs. While strength and vigilance are essential, they should not overshadow our deeper aspiration for peace. Tragically, the term “peace camp” has been co-opted by a particular political faction, but in truth, every Jew should see themselves as part of a genuine peace camp.
We are not warmongers, nor do we seek conflict for its own sake. Our ultimate vision is to resolve crises through dialogue and mutual respect. Yet, these elements are scarce in this tumultuous region. The deep resistance to our return to the Land of Hashem stems from the profound historical and spiritual significance of that return. It is a condition with consequence, unsettling to many and fiercely contested. We must confront the reality that, under the current circumstances, we will need to continue fiercely defending our land and our people. It is difficult to imagine securing our presence in Israel without resorting to war. However, historical vision calls upon us to stretch our imagination, to envision what may seem impossible.
REDEMPTION WITHOUT WAR
This delicate message becomes even more crucial as we shape a redemptive vision for the future. Numerous prophecies envision an apocalyptic war as part of the Messianic process, with the war of Gog U’magog often positioned at the heart of our ultimate geulah. If taken literally, such prophecies could foster a dangerous fixation on war as an essential and irreplaceable component of redemption. First and foremost, it is crucial to acknowledge that all prophecies are cryptic and encoded,
laden with symbolism that resists literal interpretation. The Vilna Gaon suggested that the war of Gog U’Magog may be a moral confrontation rather than a violent Armageddon.
Secondly, there are countless pathways to redemption, and not all of them lead through the battlefield. Chazal asserted that there are multiple trajectories to redemption: if we are meritorious, the geulah will be smooth and swift; if not, it will be arduous and tumultuous. There exists a potential pathway to redemption that does not involve large-scale wars. While we may not merit this peaceful narrative, we must resist the assumption that war is an unavoidable feature of geulah.
Even if we concede that actual war is an integral component of geulah, it remains difficult to identify precisely which wars the nevi’im and their prophecies refer to. Some have suggested that the cataclysmic wars of the 20th century, which ravaged humanity and devastated the Jewish people, were part of the visions of Gog U’magog. Sometimes the sheer and incomprehensible magnitude of these events is lost on younger generations. The scale of these wars may well have been commensurate with the epic scope of Gog U’Magog.
Redemptive vision must strive to transcend violence, anchoring itself in faith, and the possibility of a peaceful evolution. We must not glorify war and allow the possibility for a geulah that is more harmonious than it is violent.
ELDAD AND MEIDAD AND SHIR HASHIRIM
The belief that war is an absolute prerequisite for redemption was one of the transgressions of Eldad and Meidad, the renegade prophets who prophesied without Moshe’s authorization. According to one interpretation of the Midrash, they foretold the wars of Gog U’magog. While Yechezkel himself described these wars, they occupy only two of the 48 chapters of his sefer. By focusing their prophecy on these apocalyptic
battles, Eldad and Meidad perpetuated the notion that redemption cannot unfold without bloody conflict, a dangerous distortion of the redemptive vision.
Shir HaShirim, the lyrical heart of Jewish history, provides a counterbalance to this view. It poetically recounts our complex relationship with Hashem—a love story born in romance but marred by our repeated betrayals. Over the past two millennia, we have painstakingly worked to restore that ancient bond, a gradual and redemptive climb toward divine intimacy. Shir HaShirim serves as a sweeping gloss of Jewish history, portraying not just the pain of exile but also the promise of renewed love.
Notably, Hashem’s name is absent from Shir HaShirim. Instead, He is referred to as “Shlomo,” symbolizing “Mi She’Hashalom Shelo”—the One to whom peace belongs. This subtle choice underscores the ultimate goal of redemption: a harmonious and peaceful world.
SHEEP AND WOLVES
As portrayed in Yeshayahu’s renowned utopian prophecy, wolves will lie peacefully with sheep, heralding a serene and harmonious existence. Will this Messianic harmony emerge as the outcome of devastating wars? Perhaps. Yet it could just as easily be achieved through a peaceful and non-violent trajectory. Both possibilities remain open, and we must be prepared for whatever path Hashem designs. However, we must resist equating a redemptive vision with militantism or fostering an unhealthy fixation on war.
Rabbi Taragin’s newest sefer entitled “Reclaiming Redemption Deciphering the Maze of Jewish History (Mosaica)” is now available at: www.reclaimingredemption.com and in bookstores.
HAFTORAH
INSIGHTS
The Question of Influence
Said the Holy One Blessed Be He, “Let Ovadiah, who dwelt among wicked people [Achav and Izevel] but did not learn from their bad deeds, come and prophecy about Esav, who dwelt among righteous people [Yitzchak and Rivkah] but did not learn from their good deeds.” (Sanhedrin 39b).This profound statement highlights the unique strength of Ovadiah, who, despite immense negative influence, remained steadfast in his righteousness.
The Gemara further recounts how Ovadiah risked his life to save one hundred prophets from the murderous King Achav and Queen Izevel, hiding them in caves and providing them with sustenance. His brief but powerful prophecy offers insight into the tension between individual integrity and societal influence. How does one remain true to their values when faced with overwhelming external pressure?
This struggle is captured in a famous 1951 psychological study by Solomon Asch. Participants were asked to identify the longest line in a set of three. When alone, individuals answered incorrectly 1% of the time. However, when placed in a group where others intentionally gave incorrect answers, the error rate skyrocketed to 33%. The pressure to conform when the correct answer was obvious proved overwhelming for many. Asch later modified the experiment, introducing a single ally who
BY REBBETZIN DR. ADINA SHMIDMAN
DIRECTOR, OU WOMEN’S INITIATIVE
gave the correct response. The presence of just one supporter significantly emboldened participants to resist group pressure and choose correctly. This finding underscores the importance of external support in maintaining one’s convictions. But what happens when no ally is present, if you’re alone? And what if the “right” choice isn’t immediately clear?
Ovadiah’s strength in the face of Achav and Izevel’s wickedness offers a compelling answer. A convert from Edom—a nation synonymous with immorality—he faced immense challenges yet remained resolute in his convictions despite being alone. But is man ever truly alone? For one who believes in Hashem’s constant presence, there is always support. This awareness affirms core values, providing clarity through Torah and strength to uphold what is right. Ovadiah succeeded where many falter because of his unwavering connection to Hashem. Even when physically isolated, he knew he was never alone, drawing empowerment from Hashem’s ever-present guidance.
The name Ovadiah reflects this connection: a combination of דבע (servant) and הק (Hashem). A servant depends entirely on their master, drawing strength and purpose from that relationship. Ovadiah’s profound awareness of his role as Hashem’s servant fortified him, enabling him to defy societal pressures, even at great personal risk.
Ovadiah’s legacy teaches us that true strength comes from recognizing Hashem’s presence in our lives. This awareness not only provides clarity in moments of moral ambiguity but also gives us the courage to stand firm against the
tide of conformity. In a world where so many go along with the crowd—whether in mass rallies or groupthink—Ovadiah’s example calls us to think for ourselves and stand by our convictions. Even if we feel isolated, we are never truly alone, for Hashem is always by our side. That knowledge empowers us to rise above, to act with integrity, and to uphold what is right, even in the face of opposition.
REBBETZIN ZEMIRA OZAROWSKI
DIRECTOR OF OU ISRAEL WOMEN’S DIVISION
Meaningful Parenting
After completing two years of writing the “Towards Meaningful Tefilla” column and another year focused on “Towards Meaningful Shabbos,” I found myself at a crossroads. What should I write about next? As a mother of a large family, the obvious answer seemed to be Chinuch. After all, it’s a topic that’s near and dear to my heart and on my mind constantly. But the truth is, I’m no expert in parenting, and I certainly don’t have all the answers.
Like everyone else, I’m learning as I go, navigating the ups and downs of raising children. What could I possibly have to offer to those reading the column? But then I realized – the goal of this column, “Towards Meaningful Chinuch” is not to give over the latest parenting techniques, but rather to give perspective on what it is that we are doing, as parents, grandparents, or mentors. Whether we have young children, adult children, grandchildren, or neighbors and friends, we all have the tremendous opportunity to be mashpia, to impact on the next generation. Unfortunately, this often can get lost in the diapers, laundry, and whining children.
Let me illustrate this with following anecdote: In a previous job, one of my responsibilities was to give tours of a very special children’s home in Yerushalayim. I would tell groups about the remarkable young couples who were
each assigned to a group of twelve children, taking on the role of surrogate parents. These couples cared for the children’s every physical and emotional need—serving them dinner, playing with them, forming loving relationships, helping with homework, taking them to doctors and therapists, and everything in between. They modeled what a healthy family life should look like, guiding the children to become productive, well-adjusted members of society. Every time I returned from giving a tour, I would feel a pang of regret, wishing I had the chance to be one of those couples. But one day, I had a realization: I do care for a group of children—my own - and I am just as responsible for nurturing their needs and showing them how to succeed in life as those surrogate parents are.
The problem is, we often don’t view our role this way. Society praises those who go out and save the world, while taking care of our own families at home is often seen as just a given, something we do without much fanfare. But in truth, this quiet, everyday work is just as important, if not more so.
It says in Pirkei Avot:
The poor should be members of your household. There are a few ways to understand this phrase. Some interpret it to mean that we should welcome poor people into our homes, making them feel comfortable and at ease. Others understand it to mean that our own families should make themselves temporarily “poor” when catering to guests (ie. - we may need to give up our comforts like a pillow or a bed in order to host guests). Both interpretations hold
true, and both are important.
But there’s another thought that occurred to me in the context of our discussion. Perhaps this Mishna is also telling us to view our own children as the “poor.” In other words, instead of focusing all our efforts on saving the “poor people” outside, we should recognize the immense value of what we are already doing within our own homes. We often get caught up in the desire to go out and change the world—whether it’s feeding the hungry, doing kiruv, or engaging in acts of chesed. But the truth is, the most important work, the most meaningful work, often happens within the walls of our own homes.
And so - the goal of this column is not to provide magical parenting solutions, but to remind ourselves, week after week, of the incredible responsibility and opportunity we have as parents and educators. We invest tremendous time and energy into raising our children and grandchildren. It’s essential that we recognize the immense significance of this role. We are doing something truly monumental here.
To help us on this journey, we will explore classical Torah sources on parenting, such as Rav Volbe’s Zeriyah u-Binyan b’Chinuch and Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch’s writings on chinuch. We’ll also draw timeless parenting lessons from the weekly parsha and Pirkei Avot, along with insights from modern sefarim and contemporary Jewish thoughts on education.
With the wisdom gleaned from these sources, we will, b’ezrat Hashem, work towards creating a more meaningful and impactful chinuch in our homes - and beyond.
On a related note, the OU Israel Women’s Division invites all women to join us for a Chinuch workshop on Chanukah and Chinuch Igniting the Hidden Potential in our Children on Monday at 9PM at the OU Israel Women’s Hub
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One of the most well known Talmudic arguments is between Beit Shamai and Beit Hillel concerning the way we light the Chanukah lights (Shabbat 21b). Beit Hillel’s opinion seems most compelling. The Talmud states its rationale: “We continually ascend in holiness,” and therefore begin with one flame and kindle a new light each night until we reach eight lights strong. This, of course, is how we practice the lighting in our homes today.
However, it is worth exploring Rav Kook’s brilliant elucidation of Beit Shamai’s opinion. It begins with noting that the festival of Chanukah shares a singular commonality with Sukkot [and Shmini Atzeret]: they both
DR. ARIE JAFFE
are celebrated for eight days. During Sukkot, sacrifices were brought in the Temple each day in a descending order. The Sages say that the seventy bulls correspond to the seventy nations of the world (Sukkah 55b). The Talmud states that this descending number is reflected in the Chanukah lights likewise descending in number (Shabbat 21b). In what way is there a correlation between the sacrifices offered on Sukkot and kindling the lights on Chanukah?
Rav Kook taught that the root of every nation in the world is good, though sometimes their actions manifest terrible evil. The Jewish people are charged with inspiring the nations. Our ultimate purpose as a people in observing the Torah and mitzvot is not only to elevate the Jewish people. We have a more universal goal of benefitting all of humanity.
Beit Shamai advances the universalistic outlook which sees Israel’s mission as an agent of change. We as a people have a mission to help form a harmonious society which lives by the standards of Divine morality and goodness. Thus the diminishing lights of the menorah symbolize the notion that over time, the plurality of diverse national characteristics will diminish as each nation absorbs the bright light of divine truths.
According to Rav Kook, it is this concept that animated Beit Shamai’s approach that each night one reduces the number of Chanukah lights. On the final night of the festival, there remains one resplendent light. This one light represents humanity’s shared belief in one God.
Beit Hillel did not accept Beit Shamai’s approach, not because Beit Hillel disputed the notion that the people of Israel are charged with
the mission of influencing the world. Rather, Beit Hillel taught that “in holy matters, one should increase and not detract.” The nation of Israel has a unique segulah quality. Her holiness will always transcend the holiness of the nations. This singular holiness is to be celebrated and proudly expressed. Especially during our celebration of Chanukah (Based on Ain Aya, Shabbat 2:7).
LIGHTS AT THE DOORWAY
The Talmud rules that the proper way of fulfilling the mitzvah of the Chanukah lighting is by kindling them at the entrance to the house, so that they are clearly visible to the passer-by (Shabbat 21b). However, the Talmud continues, when there is danger in doing so, because of hostile non-Jews, it is sufficient to light the menorah inside.
Rav Kook offered a wonderful elucidation of this law and its relevance today to the Jew’s return to the Land. When we were persecuted, living in exile, we could only publicize the miracle to ourselves. For centuries we have placed the menorah on a table in our home or on a window sill. In these severely difficult conditions, we had very little chance of sharing our light with the hostile environments surrounding us.
However, now that we experience freedom and sovereignty in the Land of Israel, we can at last occupy ourselves with proclaiming God’s loving kindness to the whole world. Thus, the ideal place for the Chanukah menorah is at the entrance of the house where we can both literally and figuratively serve as a beacon of light for others, both to our fellow Jew and gentile alike. It should be noted with a sense of joy that in recent years many families throughout Jerusalem and in Israel as a whole have adopted the preferred halachic practice of lighting at the doorway of one’s home. Not only is this a revitalization of the observance of the mitzvah that has been long neglected, but perhaps more
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significantly it is a symbolic fulfillment of the Jew’s most noble mission of spreading God’s light and the Torah’s wisdom to all humanity (Based on Ma’amarei HaRa’aya pp. 150-151).
Rabbi Goldscheider’s most recent OU Press Publication, “Torah United” on the weekly Parsha, can be ordered directly from Rabbi Goldscheider at Aarong@ouisrael.org at a special price for Torah Tidbits readers.
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RAV DANIEL MANN
Rav Daniel Mann
Changing Diapers in the Proximity of Sefarim
Question: Is it permitted to change a baby’s diaper in the vicinity of or in a room with sefarim? If it depends, what are the parameters?
Answer: We start with sources (including a thorough teshuva by the Machazeh Eliyahu 5-6), from which we gleaned many of our sources. However, we must also think in terms of common practice and feasibility.
The halachic issues are exposing holy articles to private parts and to excrement. Regarding the former, the pasuk (Devarim 23:15) requires separation between uncovered private parts and holy things (see Shabbat 150a). The gemara (Shabbat 120b) says that one upon whose flesh Hashem’s Name is written may not bathe because it is forbidden to stand naked in front of the Name of Hashem. The Magen Avraham (45:2) extends this prohibition to wearing tefillin or bringing Torah texts into a place where people are undressed. The Shemirat Shabbat K’hilchata (24:30) says based on this that one may not erect a partition before holy sefarim on Shabbat to allow removing a baby’s diaper because it is a halachically necessary wall. However, there are strong grounds to distinguish between an adult and a baby. While the Shulchan Aruch (OC 75:4) forbids reciting Kri’at Shema before the private parts of a young child,
the Rama (ad loc.) permits it until the age of 3 for a girl and 9 for a boy. Even those who forbid it, do so as a chumra l’chatichila (Mishna Berura 75:5) because of its impact on one’s thoughts (not as an objective erva), and this should not be a problem for holy articles (see Radbaz V,1028; Machazeh Eliyahu ibid.). While the Rama (OC 275:12) cites a minhag not to leave a naked child before Shabbat candles because of disgrace to the mitzva, it is illogical to apply the minhag to changing a diaper. (When Shabbat candles alone provided light, were parents expected to change diapers in the dark?!!).
The other issue is the excrement in the diaper. (Only at the age of several months is a baby’s stool problematically unseemly –Shulchan Aruch, OC 81:1.) One is forbidden to bring holy things such as tefillin into a bathroom (Shulchan Aruch, OC 43:1). However, the problem is likely not the excrement itself, but the status of the place and/or the possibility he will relieve himself while there. Indeed, the Magen Avraham (43:11) permits (when necessary) going into alleyways with excrement with tefillin on. It is also more lenient when the exposure of the holy article to the unseemly matter is passing (Be’ur Halacha to 43:5; Shut Ramah Mipanu 59). The Machazeh Eliyahu (ibid.) proves that the exposure is not forbidden from the fact it is permitted to urinate with tefillin on if it is not in a set bathroom (Shulchan
Eretz Hemdah, the Institute for Advanced Jewish Studies, Jerusalem, is headed by Rav Yosef Carmel and Rav Moshe Ehrenreich, founded by Rav Shaul Yisraeli, zt”l, to prepare rabbanim and dayanim to serve the National Religious community in the Israel and abroad. Ask the Rabbi is a joint venture of the OU, Eretz Hemdah, and OU Israel’s Torah Tidbits.
Aruch ibid.), even though sources indicate that is at least as bad as exposure to excrement.
How can we be so lenient considering the prohibition to recite holy things within the vicinity of excrement (Berachot 25a; Shulchan Aruch, OC 79:1)? The Machazeh Eliyahu explains that it is not the proximity between the holy utterances and the unclean surroundings but when a person’s domain is impacted by an unclean area, he becomes unfit to engage in holy things. If an area becomes taken over by the excrement, then holy things cannot be done there, but a limited amount of time in which a room contains excrement does not have this impact.
What will one following stringent opinions do about mezuzot? Shemirat Shabbat K’hilchata (ibid.) presents a not-simple leniency – the wrapping of the mezuza, which many anyway do, counts as a separation. We believe that the stringency is unnecessary in the first place, as above. Furthermore, the way our houses now have sefarim, Torah-based wall hangings, etc. all over the place makes it impractical to be machmir regarding changing diapers, and it also makes the encounter not offensive. It is not surprising that the broad practice is to not require precautions when changing diapers in regular areas. We hope our homes are blessed with several children and many sefarim and that changing diapers does not cause undue difficulty.
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RABBI GIDEON WEITZMAN
Machon Puah for Fertility and Gynecology in Accordance with Halacha
Being Available
Last time we mentioned a number of questions and comments that are often inappropriate when speaking with a couple facing fertility challenges. On the other hand, family and friends do want to show that they care and are concerned for the couple’s welfare.
So what should be said around a couple undergoing fertility treatment?
It is important to show that you care and are interested in them and their situation without prying. The couple should know that we are available if they want to talk or need help but they can take the lead and decide when and how to involve us. They should be asked what they need and they may well appreciate being asked what would be helpful for them.
Since each person and each couple are different and will react differently and have distinct needs at various points of their journey, giving them the option to choose what they need grants them a little bit of control over their circumstances.
Fertility treatment will often leave couples feeling that they have lost control over their lives, and so to give them even a small space which they control may be one of the most important gifts that we can give to them.
If you think that they may benefit from it, they can be encouraged to seek professional
advice, and counseling. PUAH can provide guidance through the process and emotional support. But it is important to remember that they may already be in counseling and receiving the professional guidance that they need. Again, the couple must be allowed to take the lead and control their own treatment.
It is essential to remember that fertility and the accompanying challenges affect both women and men. We mentioned recently that men are sometimes overlooked, especially when dealing with emotional support. Men should also be encouraged to seek appropriate counseling that can help them overcome the difficult feelings that they are experiencing.
Sometimes people decide not to share the news of their own pregnancies or births with couples undergoing fertility challenges. This is out of a fear that it will be too difficult for them to hear this news and to share in someone else’s simcha when they are suffering. But this can be offensive and cause them even more pain.
It is better to let them know, but sometimes this would be better to be delivered in a manner that they can decide how to react, in their own time and place. For example, if you send them an email or message they can digest the information before reacting.
Saying sensitive things and being available on different levels is usually the most productive.
More on this next time.
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Turning One Date Into Two
Shir asks: How can I help a serial one-dater to go on a second date?
Aleeza responds: Start with understanding their mindset and gently encouraging a broader perspective. The key lies in the conversations you have before making any match suggestions. First explore their dating approach. Ask, “What’s your general philosophy when it comes to dating?” or “What helps you decide whether to continue after a first date?” If they admit to being a “one-and-done” type, this is your opportunity to open a discussion.
First, acknowledge their strengths. You might say, “It sounds like you’re very decisive and know what you’re looking for, which can be a great quality.” Hopefully they will agree with you and feel understood. While being decisive is great I’m wondering if you’re also open to
dating a little more slowly. Explain that first dates don’t always reveal the full picture of someone. Some people take time to feel comfortable or show their true personality. Ask, “If someone isn’t a hard no for you, would you consider giving them a second date to see if there’s more to discover?”
You can frame this as an experiment— encourage them to try it with three different matches to see what they learn. This approach makes it low-pressure and highlights the potential for personal growth. Even if they don’t find their match, they’ll gain valuable insights about themselves and their preferences. Also be sure to reassure them. They aren’t leading someone on, they are just dating and sometimes dating takes a few times before walking away.
That said, it’s also important to respect their approach. If someone insists that they only want to date this way, take a step back and evaluate how to proceed. You might decide to work with them, accepting that they may stick to one date per match. Or, if their approach feels fundamentally misaligned with your own philosophy, it’s okay to let them know you don’t have any matches for them and try working with someone else. Although our heart wants to help everyone the reality is we can’t.
If they do try second dates and it doesn’t work out, acknowledge their effort. Say, “Thank you for giving this a chance. Even though it didn’t change the outcome this time, it shows that you’re open and intentional about finding the right match.”
Ultimately, your role as an ambassador is to offer guidance and plant seeds of growth. Some
THE DAILY PORTION
THE DAILY PORTION
BY SIVAN RAHAV-MEIR
BY SIVAN RAHAV-MEIR
Lessons From A Tzaddik
International Bible Quiz Champions Speak
International Bible Quiz Champions Speak
Much excitement has surrounded nah Cohen and Neta Lax winners of the annual International Bible Quiz. Yesterday I interviewed them and heard their story.
the first time?' Yet I simply forgot it. I thought afterwards that HaShem caused me to forget the answer in order to remind me that I do not know everything, that I am human and not perfect."
the first time?' Yet I simply forgot it. I thought afterwards that HaShem caused me to forget the answer in order to remind me that I do not know everything, that I am human and not perfect."
neighborhood, Rabbi Shmuel Auerbach spoke about his memories as a child of the neighborhood rabbi, Rabbi Charlap. He spoke about the rabbi’s special prayer, said slowly and intentionally, and said: “More than seventy years after those prayers, the way he said ‘Shema Yisrael’ still echoes in my ears.”
Much excitement has surrounded nah Cohen and Neta Lax winners of the annual International Bible Quiz. Yesterday I interviewed them and heard their story.
It turns out that they studied long hours together and were confident they would be the leading competitors. " on winning together," Emunah revealed. "We thought both of us would answer every question correctly so that we would both be champions, tied for first place.
This past week we marked 73 years since the passing of Rabbi Yaakov Moshe Charlap, one of the senior students of Rabbi Kook, the rabbi of the “Sha’arei Chesed” neighborhood in Jerusalem and head of the “Merkaz HaRav” Yeshiva. Here are three small stories about this great figure, collected by his great-grandson, Yair Charlap:
It turns out that they studied long hours together and were confident they would be the leading competitors. " on winning together," Emunah revealed. "We thought both of us would answer every question correctly so that we would both be champions, tied for first place.
But in the end Emunah won. "They made a big deal about our big hug after I lost," Neta said. "But it was the easiest thing to share in her happiness. Besides, we were just relieved that the competition was finally over."
"The more you learn," Neta said, "the easier it gets. When you learn a lot of Tanach (Bible) you simply see how everything connects to your life. I truly felt that what I learned accompanied me wherever I went. It made my heart feel good."
"The more you learn," Neta said, "the easier it gets. When you learn a lot of Tanach (Bible) you simply see how everything connects to your life. I truly felt that what I learned accompanied me wherever I went. It made my heart feel good."
In closing, Neta declared: "The two of us will continue to study the Tanach. There were parts of the Tanach that were not in the material covered by the quiz, and it's important for us to learn them too."
In closing, Neta declared: "The two of us will continue to study the Tanach. There were parts of the Tanach that were not in the material covered by the quiz, and it's important for us to learn them too."
And Emunah had this recommendation: Study the Bible for 5 minutes every day. Not for school, not for the Bible quiz, but just for how much fun it will be."
But in the end Emunah won. "They made a big deal about our big hug after I lost," Neta said. "But it was the easiest thing to share in her happiness. Besides, we were just relieved that the competition was finally over."
In the course of the entire contest, Emunah made only one error. "I knew the answer to the question: 'When did King David cry for
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During Havdalah - as former President Zalman Shazar, who was close to him, told - when Rabbi Charlap would say the bracha “…who distinguishes between the holy and the mundane, between light and dark ness,” he would emphasize the word “light” in a loud and strong voice, and in contrast, say the word “darkness” in a weaker voice, and so on: “the seventh day” strongly, and then “the six days of work” softly, making a clear hand gesture of separation, as if he was truly separating light from darkness. One could see the sorrow on his face for the holiness of Shabbat leaving. At an event marking 100 years since the establishment of the “Sha’arei Chesed”
In the course of the entire contest, Emunah made only one error. "I knew the answer to the question: 'When did King David cry for
And Emunah had this recommendation: Study the Bible for 5 minutes every day. Not for school, not for the Bible quiz, but just for how much fun it will be."
In the rabbi’s last days of illness, construction work was being done right beneath the window of his room. The family thought of moving the source of noise to a more distant location. Rabbi Charlap called to them and said: “Until now, I was privileged to go out and see Jerusalem being built. Now I am in my bed and can no longer go out, but when I hear the noise of the machines, I know that Jerusalem is being built. Do not take away this privilege from me, at least to hear Jerusalem being built.”
Sivan Rahav-Meir is a media personality and lecturer. Married to Yedidya, the mother of five. Lives in Jerusalem, and formerly served as the World Mizrachi Shlicha to North America. Sivan lectures in Israel and overseas about the media, Judaism, Zionism and new media. She was voted by Globes newspaper as most popular female media personality in Israel and by the Jerusalem Post as one of the 50 most influential Jews in the world.
Sivan Rahav-Meir is a media personality and lecturer. Married to Yedidya, the mother of five. Lives in Jerusalem, and formerly served as the World Mizrachi Shlicha to North America. Sivan lectures in Israel and overseas about the media, Judaism, Zionism and new media. She was voted by Globes newspaper as most popular female media personality in Israel and by the Jerusalem Post as one of the 50 most influential Jews in the world.
From Havdalah, through the Shema prayer, to the sound of the tractor - 73 years ago today, a man who knew how to sanctify every moment passed away. In his memory.
Sivan Rahav-Meir is a media personality and lecturer. Married to Yedidya, the mother of five. Lives in Jerusalem, and formerly served as the World Mizrachi Shlicha to North America. Sivan lectures in Israel and overseas about the media, Judaism, Zionism and new media. She was voted by Globes newspaper as most popular female media personality in Israel and by the Jerusalem Post as one of the 50 most influential Jews in the world.
TORAH 4 TEENS
BY TEENS NCSY ISRAEL
YAAKOV & ALYSSA
GREENBERG
Gush Etzion
Chapter Directors
FAMILY OR FEUD
Yaakov, knowing he may need to fight Esav in order to live in Eretz Yisroel, prepares for war. How? He divides his family into two camps so that if Eisav attacks one camp the other can escape. For Yaakov, even when faced with war the survival of the family was of the highest importance. When meeting Eisav, Yaakov introduces his family as הנחמה לכ. Yaakov claims he is blessed לכב-with everything- because his family means everything to him.
Later in the Parshah, Dinah is captured in Shechem and Yaakov was faced again to either fight or resolve this conflict. Yaakov was at his prime strength as he had just fought off Eisav’s Angel. Yisroel, Yaakov’s new name, stands for יכ לכותו םישנאו
םע תירש ; so we know he was more than capable of attacking Shechem; however he chose to stay away from conflict. Why?
To Yaakov, family was everything. By Esav he cries out to Hashem,
אנ ינליצה; he was not just davening to win the war, but also to have a reunited family. Therefore, when faced again with the challenge to reunite his family without dividing into two camps, Yaakov this time chose the path of family instead of preparing for battle.
When faced with potential conflicts it is not always easy to decide what to do. We use our emotions instead of realizing the price we pay for acting with our emotions. Yaakov in one case decided war was worth the price of dividing his family, but chose a united family over war in Shechem. We learn from Yaakov that all decisions are about evaluating values, and not just acting out of emotions. When feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath, focus on your values, and decide with a clear head. That way you will always feel like you have received לכה.
YARDENA GOLDGRAB
Neve Daniel, 10th Grade FIGHTING ON MULTIPLE FRONTS
This קוספ raises a question: why did the angel fight with Yaakov and not with Avraham or Yitzchak if his main agenda was to destroy the Jewish Nation?
Rav Elchanan Wasserman answers this question: The world stands upon three pillars:
attribute of Emet, truth in Yaakov. And above all, G-d valued their commitment to passing on these valued attributes to their descendants. That is why He ‘chose us from all the nations.’
Torah study, teffila, and acts of kindness. Each of the three patriarchs was the prototype of one of these pillars. Avraham excelled in chesed — kindness. Yitzchak was associated with prayer, as the pasuk states: “Vayeitzei Yitzchak lasuach basadeh” — “And Yitzchak went out to meditate in the field”. Yaakov was “ish tam yosheiv ohalim” — “a sincere man, dwelling in tents”. He spent his time in the “tents” of Torah.
The “man” who wrestled with Yaakov was the angel of Eisav. He was the adversary of the Jewish people, striving to bring about their destruction.
Our chosenness has nothing to do with high intelligence. It has to do with Midot, character traits. At the end of the day, this is what we are all about. The central challenge to us is working on our personal Midot. The Vilna Gaon said that the reason we are here in this world is to improve a Midah, which we have thus far not perfected. Therefore, we must always work on this, for if we do not improve our Midot while we are here, what is the purpose of life? We must instill this concept in our children and grandchildren that bringing home a Report Card with all “A’s” on academic subjects will bring them a reward but getting all “A’s” on the Midot side will bring even a greater reward.
Of the three patriarchs, he had the least fear of Avraham, because the continuity of the Jewish people cannot be contingent only on simple acts of kindness. Nor can the posterity of the Jewish people be assured only through people reciting their prayers on a daily basis. The secret of our existence is the study of Torah and teaching it to our children as soon as they are of an age when they can understand it. So, by obstructing the study of Torah, the representative of Eisav hoped to jeopardize the continuity of the Jewish people.
This Dvar Torah is dedicated in loving memory of Yita bat Shlomo, Rav Aharon Ziegler’s mother whose yahrzeit is on Shavuot.
This battle is a never ending one, and even when he is unable to topple Yaakov himself, Eisav tries to “wrestle” with “kaf yereicho” — “the hollow of his thigh” — which represents the children and future generations of Yaakov.
Torah Tidbits extends a mazal tov to Rav Ziegler on his upcoming book of Torah Derashot, “The Sapphire Bricks of Torah”
Today, this age-old fight is more important than ever. We continue to fight and sacrifice on multiple fronts, both militarily and religiously.
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Soldiers continue to make siyumim on masechtot while in battle, and Am Yisrael has continued to rally around our chayalim with tefilla, acts of kindness, and talmud Torah. The angel couldn’t defeat Yaakov in biblical times, and our enemies can’t defeat us now. Our steadfast commitment to Torah will ensure our success for eternity.
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