Lettitor
A fear of blank canvases Bex Peterson Editor-in-Chief
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ext Tuesday I’m scheduled to get a pretty big tattoo inked onto my right bicep. I’m really excited about it, but as with most life changes, a bit nervous too. Actually, I think I’m more nervous that I might become nervous and chicken out last second—extremely unlikely, but man, wouldn’t that be embarrassing? I already have a tattoo, but I’m not exactly impulsive about these things. I sit on ideas for years and years, dithering over my bank account (especially if there isn’t much in there) and scrolling through portfolio after portfolio to find the perfect tattoo artist (usually falling in love with the art style of an artist whose books are firmly
closed for the foreseeable future). After all, it’s on your skin forever—right? Well, not exactly. Tattoos fade over time, especially if you don’t take care of them. You can have tattoos lasered off or covered up if you decide that “live laugh love” impulse tat’ you got on vacation with your high school friends in Cuba just isn’t doing it for you anymore. The permanence of tattoos isn’t what makes me pause. It’s the limited real estate; specifically, the limited amount of skin I have available for inking. Let me be clear: So far, I only have one tattoo. A relatively small wrist tattoo. I have plenty of space left. But it’s finite; if I keep getting tattoo after tattoo, I’m going to run out of space one day, and what if that’s the day I realize there’s a design I just have to have on my body with no place to put it? Given that my current tattooing rate
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Bex Peterson Editor-in-Chief editor@theotherpress.ca
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is approximately one tattoo every four years or so (and I’ve had to save up for over half a year to feel financially comfortable enough to blow money on this one), this is incredibly unlikely to happen. I’m also 5’9, which gives me a bit more skin space to work with than some people. But still. What if? I think this is the impulse that makes people afraid to do things, this idea that we have to wait for an idea to be perfect before we can act on it. Why write that book you’ve been plotting forever, when you still don’t have that one minor character arc planned out? Why take that careerlaunching position with a small company if there’s a better opportunity waiting just around the corner? Why settle, why commit, if it could cause you to miss out on some hypothetical perfection? Or maybe that’s just me. I’ve certainly
Brittney MacDonald Business Manager Cara Seccafien Illustrator Tania Arora Staff Reporter Roshni Riar Staff Writer Billy Bui Staff Photographer Jerrison Oracion Senior Columnist Cover photo of Bex Peterson by Lauren Kelly Feature layout by Meghan Lin
abandoned personal projects and been afraid of opportunities because either the projects weren’t perfect enough or I didn’t think I was perfect enough to take on the opportunities presented to me. But at the end of the day, not to get too dramatic about it, but the real finite resource we’re dealing with is time. If I’m afraid of anything more than I’m afraid of not attaining “perfection” of some kind, it’s that I’ll run out of time before I finish that book, or build a career, or get a big-ass tattoo. So, I’m getting a tattoo next Tuesday. Maybe one day I will run out of room. And maybe that’s okay. Until next issue,
Bex Peterson Bex Peterson
The Other Press has been Douglas College’s student newspaper since 1976. Since 1978 we have been an autonomous publication, independent of the student union. We are a registered society under the Society Act of British Columbia, governed by an eight-person board of directors appointed by our staff. Our head office is located in the New Westminster campus. The Other Press is published weekly during the fall and winter semesters, and monthly during the summer. We receive our funding from a student levy collected through tuition fees every semester at registration, and from local and national advertising revenue. The Other Press is a member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), a syndicate of student newspapers that includes papers from all across Canada. The Other Press reserves the right to choose what we will publish, and we will not publish material that is hateful, obscene, or condones or promotes illegal activities. Submissions may be edited for clarity and brevity if necessary. All images used are copyright to their respective owners.
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News
news // no. 3 • Vancouver Titans match recaps • First step to SFU Surrey’s expansion now complete • Tensions rise between Alberta and BC post-election
Simon Fraser University’s major step towards sustainability ››First step to SFU Surrey’s expansion now complete
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n April 25, Simon Fraser University (SFU) unveiled their newly constructed Surrey campus expansion— the SFU Sustainable Energy Engineering building. The Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED) Goldcertified building is the first significant step towards SFU Surrey’s overall three-step expansion. Renowned architect the late Bing Thom designed the building before his passing in 2016. Revery Architecture completed and constructed the project on his behalf. The building spans 20,458 square metres over five storeys and will act as a living lab due to its sustainable construction. It comprises classrooms, offices, study spaces, wet and dry teaching labs, a 400-seat lecture hall, and a large atrium space for people to gather. The interior design features natural wood finish panels and walls, sleek furniture, and a number of plants and trees. The Sustainable Energy Engineering building will be home to SFU’s new Sustainable Energy Engineering program, which will be offered starting this September. The program will allow up to 440 full-time students—320 undergraduates,
120 graduates—to study sustainable energy engineering while integrating environmental science and business courses into their curriculum. The program’s aim is for students to be well rounded and prepared to work in clean technology departments such as clean city planning, renewable energy, and clean power generation. The Bachelor of Applied Science undergraduate program—the first of its kind in Western Canada—will allow students to have paid cooperative work experience and involvement in capstone projects. The space will also house 40 faculty members, as well as provide a home to SFU’s 75 mechatronics graduate students. $45 million of the overall $126-million budget was supplied by the Government of Canada’s Post-Secondary Institutions Strategic Investment Fund. Another $45 million was brought in by the BC Government. The remainder of the budget was provided by SFU and numerous donors. The BC government plans to further invest into tech program expansion, with hopes to add almost 3,000 additional spots in post-secondary programs across the province. Simran Brar, an SFU English student, shared her thoughts on the expansion. “I think this is an important look at [where] the future of engineering can go.
Hopefully the example that SFU is setting will influence other [post-secondary education] institutions [and show] that fostering sustainability in a learning environment can be achievable.” When discussing the new engineering program coming this fall, Brar added, “Considering the province’s recent focus on sustainability and the environment [with CleanBC], it’s a great time to offer [the Sustainable Energy Engineering] program because it will prepare students for specific jobs that will hopefully be available and need filling when they graduate.”
Photos by Billy Bui
Roshni Riar Staff Writer
War between environment and energy Tania Arora Staff Reporter
I
n the opening lines of his victory speech, United Conservative Party leader and new Alberta Premier Jason Kenney stated: “Today, our province has sent a message to Canada and the world: Alberta is open for business.” Justin Trudeau congratulated him by issuing a statement where he said, “I look forward to working with the provincial government to create good, middle class jobs, build infrastructure, and grow the businesses and industries at the heart of Alberta’s prosperity so the province can remain competitive in our changing economy.” April 17 saw the UCP defeating Rachel Notley and the New Democrats by leading in 63 ridings. Since the beginning, Kenney claimed to be all about the business. Out of all the promises made by Kenney, one has a major impact of the province of British Columbia. After an intense back and forth between the provinces on the
issue of pipeline construction, Kenney has threatened to “turn off the taps” if BC continues to oppose the Trans Mountain pipeline in particular. However, Kenney’s threat has largely been seen as an empty one, according to many experts in the field. “I think a lot of what Mr. Kenney’s saying is grandstanding,” said economist Robyn Allan to Global News. “There’s a significant amount of revenue involved for Alberta’s oil producers when you’re sending 300,000 barrels a day of crude product and refined product.” Kenney has also recently claimed that BC’s current spike in gas prices—in some places reaching over $1.70 per litre—is a result of BC’s opposition to Alberta’s Trans Mountain pipeline. “Unfortunately, since coming to office in July of 2017, the BC government has opposed the expansion of this pipeline every step of the way […] and in so doing they’ve driven up gasoline prices in the Lower Mainland,” said Kenney at a recent press conference. This claim has also been rebutted
by economists, who believe that the two things are completely unrelated. In fact, according to an Albertan economist, the BC government has had little direct impact on Trans Mountain pipeline delays. “What’s delayed Trans Mountain […] has very little to do with the actions of the BC government to date,” said Andrew Leach, an energy economist at the University of Alberta, to the CBC. “It has more to do with the federal government’s not meeting its duty to consult with First Nations and not adequately following up on its responsibilities under the Species at Risk Act.” The Trans Mountain pipeline expansion could provide a short-term economic boost but at the same time it would result in a drastic increase in coast-to-port tanker traffic. This would increase the risk of oil spills, as well as result in potential harm to resident orca populations in the area due to increased underwater noise pollution. The pipeline has faced drastic opposition from many BC residents, Indigenous groups, and environmental protection groups.
Photo of Jason Kenney via Policy Exchange on Flickr
››Tensions rise between Alberta and BC post-election
news // no. 4
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Titan watch: OWL Stage Two, week five ››Vancouver Titans match recaps
Vancouver Titans vs. Toronto Defiant
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n what has been nicknamed the “Battle for the North,” the Vancouver Titans faced off against the only other Canadian team in the OWL—the Toronto Defiant— on May 3. As new expansions coming into the 2019 season, both teams made the Stage One playoffs. However, the Defiant were eliminated by the San Francisco Shock in their first playoff round, while the Titans went on to defeat the Shock in the Stage One title match. Game one was played on Oasis, a control map, where both teams reverted to a GOATS—three tank three support—formation in an attempt to capture the control point. The first percentage was gained by the Defiant, after Yakpung’s tank Reinhardt successfully pinned and eliminated Bumper’s Reinhardt. Toronto maintained control until 58 percent was obtained, at which time they were forced to retreat and regroup. During Toronto’s respawn, Vancouver pushed forward to prevent the Defiant from being able to reach the control point. Despite a valiant Shield Bash by IM37’s Brigitte, which saved the rest of the Defiant from an Earth Shatter—the Reinhardt ultimate that knocks down and incapacitates any players in range—from Bumper, Toronto failed to retake the point in time. In round two, the Defiant had no answer for the damage put out by Twilight’s Zenyatta and his debuff Orb of Discord. Despite this, Toronto still managed to gain control and maintain it till 60 percent. However, once control did move to Vancouver, some well placed Defense Matrixes by JJANU’s D.VA to protect her team from Ivy’s Zarya Gravitation Surges, ensured a game one victory. Game two began on the assault map, Temple of Anubis. During Toronto’s attack round, they successfully punished Bumper’s over aggression—isolating him from his supports and then focusing him down before taking the first point. Capitalizing on this momentum, they pushed forward onto the second point. Vancouver’s attack phase failed to impress. The Titans weren’t even able to take point one, losing them game two. The hybrid map chosen for game three was King’s Row. During Toronto’s attack phase, Ivy’s overcharged Zarya was able to clear the point and unlock the car. However, the Defiant ran into trouble when the Titans used the terrain to their advantage and forced them through a bottle-neck during the escort portion of the map. In Vancouver’s attack phase it was clear that the Defiant were still having trouble dealing with Twilight’s Zenyatta. The Titans unlocked the car faster than the Defiant, allowing them ample time to get the car to the first checkpoint—the win condition for game three, since the Defiant failed to complete the map. The Titans did so, despite some good interference and push-back from Envy’s D.VA and Ivy’s Zarya.
Game four proved necessary as the match standing entering into it was one-totwo in a best of five in Vancouver’s favour. It was played on the escort map, Junkertown. On an escort map, the teams play in rounds, alternating between attack and defence. Unlike a hybrid map, the car does not unlock via a control point. Instead, the car is unlocked automatically and attacking teams simply have to escort it as far as possible in the allotted time. Any leftover time is put in a time bank to be used in a second attack round in the event of a tie.
Vancouver Titans vs. Seoul Dynasty
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his match-up was significantly less anticipated than their battle against the Toronto Defiant, as pointed out by Vancouver’s flex support player Twilight in a post-match interview on May 3. He said (via translator), “Seoul Dynasty, you guys have never beaten us [the Titans], and I will make sure that will never ever happen in your life.” He got the chance to make good on his word on May 4. Game one saw the teams competing on Lijiang, a control map. The Dynasty forced Vancouver out of their GOATS comfort zone, running a Pharmacy (FITS and Tobi), Michelle on a DPS Sombra, and Munchkin’s DPS sniper Widowmaker. The Titans responded with Seominsoo deviating from his usual Zarya to play DPS Soldier 76, and Haksal also playing a DPS Sombra. Seominsoo and Haksal swapping heroes did mean that it took Vancouver longer to get to the control point. This allowed Seoul to capture it first and start building their control percentage. The Dynasty managed to successfully defend their capture and closed the round out 100 percent to zero. Round two saw Seoul capture the point first, yet again, but due to a mistimed charge by Marve1’s Reinhardt with no backup from his team, Vancouver was able to clear out the point and take it with Seoul sitting at 58 percent. A team fight in which Slime’s crucial Lucio Sound Barrier was cancelled out with an Earth Shatter from Marve1 saw the point return to the Dynasty with the Titans having only gained 55 percent. Vancouver managed to quickly flip it back and defend their claim with Bumper using a Reinhardt Earth Shatter to incapacitate three members of the Seoul team. Vancouver took the round, pushing the game into a third round to break the tie. Despite earning eight percent control initially, the Dynasty proved unable to deal with Seominsoo’s ability to charge his ultimate so quickly on Zarya. That combined with a sneaky Ana Sleep Dart from Twilight, which took out the Dynasty’s main tank Marve1, earned the Titans the third round and thus the game one victory. Game two saw a familiar setting— the assault map Temple of Anubis. Vancouver’s attack round saw an odd play from the Dynasty. After Twilight took Image via @VancouverTitans on Twitter
Brittney MacDonald Business Manager
The Defiant broke away from the GOATS formation, instead starting the map with a three-DPS formation—a role focused on high damage—with a Pharmacy (Ivy on Pharrah and Roky on Mercy). The Titans answered with Haksal running a DPS Genji and Bumper on his signature tank Winston. This allowed for high mobility and high damage plays, forcing Toronto back into GOATS. However, it was JJANU’s continued focus on keeping Ivy’s Zarya at bay and unable to use her Graviton Surge that prevented Toronto from completing the map. Vancouver’s attack phase began with a bloodbath. Haksal began the match on Hanzo as a DPS sniper, immediately taking out Ivy and IM37. Things didn’t get much easier for the Defiant. Bumper hit a huge Earth Shatter that incapacitated four players on Toronto’s side, just before the first checkpoint. The Titans then proceeded to roll past Toronto’s marker with over two minutes to spare, earning them the game four victory. The Vancouver Titans win streak continues, as they finished the match 3-1.
out Ryujehong’s Zenyatta, main support Tobi’s Lucio was sent back to the defence spawn to Speed Boost him back to the first capture point. This left the defending Seoul two players short during Vancouver’s second charge. Needless to say, Seoul failed to successfully defend against Vancouver, and the Titans took point one. The Dynasty mistimed their ultimates from Ryujehong, Tobi, and Munchkin’s Brigitte—using them too late to prevent the loss of their GOATS tanks. Vancouver took advantage and captured the second point, completing the map. During their attack round, the Dynasty attempted to run the three-DPS with a Pharmacy (FITS and Tobi) again. This earned them the first capture point, but they quickly switched to GOATS before moving to the second one. Michelle’s Sombra attempted to flank and EMP the Titans—but she was spotted by Haksal’s Brigitte, who used a Shield Bash to stun her out of landing it. (EMP is the Sombra ultimate. It prevents all enemy players within its radius to activate any of their abilities for a set period of time.) A last-minute Biotic Grenade from Twilight’s Ana and follow up from the rest of the team ensured a five-player wipe seconds before the Dynasty’s clock ran out, earning the Titans a game two win. Game three was played on the hybrid map Blizzard World. In their attack phase, Vancouver rotated some of their tanks around the back of the capture point. Seominsoo on Zarya took out Tobi’s Lucio, catching him out of position and isolated from his team. With the main Dynasty support gone, this spiraled into a team kill which Vancouver used to take the point and unlock the car. With Seominsoo now fully charged, he continued to flank and target the Seoul supports forcing the team to play more passively. The Titans were able to steamroll the map, completing the escort portion with over three minutes to spare. During their attack phase, Seoul ran GOATS and attempted to focus down Twilight’s Ana. This proved to be too difficult, but they did manage to zone her out until faced with a highly mobile Bumper on Wrecking Ball. Eventually, Seoul managed to take the point and unlock the car. They escorted the car to the first checkpoint, but only managed to complete the map in overtime. This meant that if the Titans were able to capture the first point during their three and a half minutes allotted by their time bank, then they would win the game. During their second attack phase, the Titans brought out a DPS-heavy composition. They ran their own Pharmacy (Seominsoo and Slime), while Haksal returned to Genji and Bumper felt confident enough to tease Seoul by not even playing a tank—instead goofing off on Widowmaker. Their overconfidence wasn’t punished. Haksal used Dragon Blade to clear the point, eliminating Michelle, Munchkin, and Marve1 before emote sitting on the point. With that, the Titans won the game. At this point, having secured the three games necessary to win the best of five, game four didn’t really matter. However, Vancouver did finish the match 4-0.
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Arts
arts // no. 5 • YouTube music video classics • ‘The 1975’ concert review • Board game etiquette and making it fun for everyone ...and more
Still of 'Avengers: Endgame'
A fitting (though far from flawless) finale
››‘Avengers: Endgame’ film review Bex Peterson Editor-in-Chief
Note: This is NOT a spoiler-free review. Please read at your own risk!
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fter a whopping 22 films in the trailblazing Marvel Cinematic Universe, the time has come to bring an end to the Infinity War saga that has been gracing our screens for over a decade. It’s hard to believe that there was a time where the idea of a superhero team-up film was unique to the point of being considered risky. After all, we wondered, would moviegoers really want to see a movie where you’d have to watch at least three other films beforehand to know what’s going on? The first Avengers movie was like nothing we’d seen before. Now, however, it’s just about all anyone is seeing, with other film studios trying to cash in on that sweet movie universe franchising fortune with various degrees of success. So how do you make the concept exciting enough to warrant Endgame’s bladder-testing threehour runtime? You get back to the basics. With half the universe snapped away in the previous film by the purple power-mad Titan Thanos, the remaining Avengers are forced to come to grips with their failure. After five years of the survivors living and struggling in a half-empty world, “Ant-Man” Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) reemerges from a quantum experiment he’s been stuck in since the snap with a radical idea: Using time travel to steal the Infinity Stones from the past to bring everyone Thanos killed back to life. The premise is a good one for a film
that so clearly wanted to cap off this era of Marvel movies with depth and poignancy. It allows us to take a tour of some of the high points (and low points) of the last decade, revisiting Avengers, the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie, and—well, Thor: The Dark World. Easy laughs and emotional points are gained by getting a 360 view of scenes from films most viewers remember fondly; we get to see what happens after the original Avengers’ heroic victory team-up pose in front of a defeated Loki in Stark Tower, revisit “Star-Lord” Peter Quill’s iconic dancing intro, and get cameo after cameo of characters we haven’t seen in years. These moments work because they’re designed to work, a mixture of nostalgia and meta humour that even a cynic would be hard-pressed not to enjoy. There is a paint-by-numbers element to how it’s constructed, seeming to operate on the Marvel formula of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it;” a blessing and a curse, as it’s this formula that has allowed Marvel to churn out blockbuster after blockbuster with very few commercial failures in the current line-up of Marvel films. Did I find the all-girl team-up of superheroines during the incredibly crafted final battle scene emotionally manipulative? Yep. Did I get misty-eyed thinking about all the kids who get to grow up in an era of female superheroes, having enough badass ladies on the screen to warrant said team-up? Absolutely. Despite the somewhat mechanical formation of the screenplay, I did enjoy the stuff I was supposed to enjoy—for the most part. Unfortunately, the formula slopped out two or three components of the film that, quite honestly, felt like finding a few
giant raisins in an otherwise perfectly tasty chocolate chip cookie. While the other Avengers had very realistic and sympathetic arcs with regards to grief, guilt, and mourning in the wake of Thanos’ genocide, Thor (Chris Hemsworth)—who arguably had the strongest emotional performance in the previous film—was given a “hilarious” drinking problem and a fat suit. Instead of sympathy for Thor’s trauma, we were pelted with endless jokes about his eating habits and physical appearance. In a movie that was trying so hard for emotional depth, this treatment is completely tonedeaf and at times gleefully malicious. The other sour note in the film for me was the treatment of “Hawkeye” Clint Barton (Jeremy Renner) and “Black Widow” Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson). In the wake of his family being snapped away by Thanos, Barton shaves his head into an angsty mohawk (I get it, we’ve all made bad hair decisions when we’re upset) and goes on a unilateral killing spree of criminals he personally deems worthy of execution (who all just so happen to be people of colour). There’s even an extended swordfight sequence in Japan (because all Japanese yakuza wield katanas, obviously) where the crime boss points out that, well, maybe this is all a bit fucked up, actually. After convincing him to help in the socalled “time heist,” Natasha and Clint travel back to Vormir, the planet where Gamora was lovingly tossed off a cliff to her death by a softly weeping Thanos in the previous film. Once Clint and Natasha realize one of them has to die to retrieve the Soul Stone, they engage in a very different kind of fight to the death, with both of them determined to sacrifice themselves for the
other. This could have been an incredible scene, and it almost was—Clint manages to knock Natasha off her feet and makes a sacrificial run for the cliff. I remember thinking that this, while not making up for Clint’s little murder rampage, at least shows that he’s aware he has a debt he owes to society at this point. Red in his ledger, if you will. It could have been a redemptive moment that his character sorely needed. Instead, the formula comes roaring back in with a vengeance, as Natasha manages to save Clint and sacrifices herself in his stead. What should have been a poignant moment is rendered almost darkly comedic as her fall and final death shot were filmed and edited exactly the same as Gamora’s, even scored with the same music. This leaves us with yet another badass woman killed off for the sake of man pain while the audience is meant to sympathize with a vigilante serial killer ’cause, like, he’s just so sad, guys. Instead of an interesting parallel to Gamora’s forced sacrifice, we got a parody. It’s hard to reconcile these cringeworthy moments with the rest of the movie. I wouldn’t say they impacted my enjoyment of everything else on the whole—after all, you can still eat around the raisins in the chocolate chip cookie. Still, I found them bafflingly unnecessary. Much like the previous 21-movie collection of the MCU, Endgame has plenty of highs and only a few (admittedly pretty dismal) lows. But hey—with a three-hour runtime, maybe it’s not such a bad thing that I know which scenes I’m happy to miss for a bathroom break on a re-watch, or fastforward through to cut down the runtime when the film finally makes it to Netflix.
arts // no. 6
theotherpress.ca
Photo by Sonam Kaloti Credit
Modernity has failed us
››‘The 1975’ concert review Sonam Kaloti Arts Editor
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ritish indie rockers The 1975 made a Vancouver stop at UBC’s Thunderbird Arena on April 26 on their tour promoting their newest album A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships. Perhaps the most striking part of the show was the visuals. Three large rectangles were positioned on the left, centre, and right side to complement the main screen’s visuals. Colourful displays, music videos, and other ambient scenes were presented behind the band. They played an emotionally evocative acoustic performance of “I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes),” which had many audience members around me in tears. Besides the occasional Snapchat or flashlight, most people had their phones away. It reminded me of their first concert at Thunderbird Arena because at some point during that show, lead singer Matty
Healy instructed everyone to put their phone away and simply enjoy the song fully present and in the moment. This time it didn’t seem like he had to because the crowd was far too busy dancing and singing along to bother much with their electronics. A major disappointment I had with this show was that the band did not incorporate one of their most famous songs—“Girls”—into the setlist. They had included it in all of their prior Vancouver shows and it is understandable that playing a major hit nearly every single day of your life would be annoying—but it had to be disappointing for a fan who couldn’t make it out to their old shows to pay money and not hear “Girls” live. I would be frustrated, anyway. (Think: Panic! At the Disco not playing “I Write Sins,” it’s almost unbelievable.) The best performance, however, had to be “Love It If We Made It.” The energy of both crowd and band just shot up. The
visuals were the best of the night—the music video was shown along with lyrics paired with an all-around very cool light show. Healy described song itself as “a gem of hope amongst all of the rubble” in a video with Genius, regarding the societal issues brought up in the song. It touches on the prison system that preys on young black people, factual truths being misinterpreted for political gain, even referencing the Syrian refugee crisis and more, with these issues pulled together by the hook: “Modernity has failed us.” There was something intimate about dancing to the upbeat song among hundreds of other people when the song is about such dark themes. The 1975 have always created beautiful philosophical journeys for their listeners and this piece’s hopeful chorus is extremely strong. At some point in the concert, the frontman began to simply talk to the audience. Healy sounded morose as he said, “I am exhausted, and I have nothing
funny to say.” Typically, their shows are filled with jubilant stories and laughter, but then again, Healy was noticeably intoxicated at their old shows. A lot of their new album focuses on a common theme that runs through The 1975’s discography, which is Healy’s recovery from heroin addiction. In the song “It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You),” he sings, “All I do is sit and drink without you. If I choose then I lose,” meaning that without heroin, all he does is drink alcohol. If he chooses between alcohol and heroin, he loses either way because both are severely harmful substances with negative consequences. His dismal stage presence may be a by-product of his journey to sobriety. Healy’s lack of energy didn’t displace the crowd much, though, as everyone still spent the night cheering and dancing to the well-staged show. One can only hope he finds joy as the rest of their tour continues.
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issue 28// vol 45
arts // no. 7
Rolling with the group ››Board game etiquette and making it fun for everyone s far as social activities go, board games can definitely be a blast. Of course, they do require you to first pick up on the rules of the game—and some rules of behaviour. Disclaimer: I’ve tried my hand at a share of board games but I’m definitely no connoisseur, nor do I have a dedicated group with whom I play regularly. However—and perhaps because my board gaming tends to be spread out across several social circles—I like to pretend I’m familiar with some basics of social interaction and tabletop etiquette that sometimes seem to get lost when you’re in the icy depths of cutthroat competition. Second disclaimer: Please keep in mind that the guidelines below are suggestions and very situationally dependent. What is appropriate in terms of competition depends a lot on group dynamics, the age and relationships of the players, and the nature of the game itself. Do you and your fellow players prioritize competitiveness or casual fun? Do you value your friendship over the sweet, sweet glory of merciless victory? Stay engaged and keep others engaged Having a single person at a table who is clearly not into a game can bring down the entire mood. If you’ve got one or two players who are barely paying attention, picking up the dice for a perfunctory roll on their turn, then going right back to scrolling through their Twitter feeds, it’s disrespectful to those who are actually engaged and trying to enjoy this as a group activity—so don’t be that person. At the same time, it’s hard to have fun when you’re losing horribly and seem to have no chance of catching up. This situation can be hard for other players to prevent, but at least try not to gang up on someone too badly unless you’re sure they can take it. If you’re in the lead yourself, keep the gloating to a sufferable level and don’t get too upset if everyone suddenly turns on you. It’s healthy competition, not a personal attack.
Don’t be too nice The goal of every board game out there is to win—and if you’re not trying to do that, or you’re otherwise skewing the competition, what’s the point? It’s really frustrating to play in a group when one player is explicitly going out of their way to be extra-nice to another—especially with significant others. Informally teaming up for mutual benefits is one thing; refusing to make any move that would negatively affect your SO because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, even when it’s strategically the best move, is another beast entirely. This favouritism is unfair to the other players and patronizing to your own partner. There are two sides to this scenario however: Don’t give special treatment to your own partner, but also don’t expect any special treatment from them and throw a hissy fit if they don’t give it to you. Winning by your own merit (or at least the whims of RNG) is more satisfying for everyone. Know when to call it quits Even the most patient group has its limits. Sure, finally reaching a gruelling victory according to the as-written win conditions can be so satisfying. But what’s the point of continuing to play if no one is still having fun after you’ve been at it for seven hours and everyone’s tolerance with one another has worn down to nothing? Don’t be afraid to call it a day early and set an end point to the game—say, if no one’s won within the next two turns or next 10 minutes, the player who’s winning at that time will be declared victor. Or just call it a draw and agree it’s been a wellfought match. As long as the call to end prematurely is a group decision, then the real victory is getting to go home without resenting your fellow players this time.
Still of 'Parks and Recreation' via NBC
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Respect the game This should be embarrassingly obvious, but I think it’s also important enough to state anyway. Please do not bend the cards. Please do not spill water on the gorgeously illustrated board. Please do not spread your pizza grease stains and chip dust all over the painfully expensive playing pieces.
Photo by Valentin Gorbunov via Wikimedia Commons
Caroline Ho Assistant Editor
A cinematic galaxy of Star-Lords ››A Chris Pratt redemption Sonam Kaloti Arts Editor There are Marvel-related spoilers in here— so if you haven’t watched Endgame but are planning to, go do that first and I’ll meet you back here in three hours!
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hris Pratt is an icon. You can challenge me on this, but you will lose. In fact, this is exactly the headspace I was in when I realized I should write this article. Lately he’s been getting a lot of hate, and what’s the best way to fight hate? No, silly, not pitch forks (just yet)—the best way is love, obviously! Infinity War spurred a lot of conversation, including the question: “Who is to blame for all of this?” Agonizingly, my friends would target my boy Peter “Star-Lord” Quill for all the losses suffered after his emotionally driven outburst kept the good guys from capturing the Infinity Gauntlet from Thanos’ grip. By now everyone and their mother has heard every possible argument as to why StarLord doesn’t (or does—whatever) deserve the ruthless hate, so I will not bother with my take. Instead of hammering you with more Marvel debate in this post-Avengers: Endgame world, here are some other cinematic works where Chris Pratt shines, or at the very least doesn’t make you want to snap him out of existence. Parks and Recreation In Parks and Rec, Pratt plays snuggly and lovable Andrew “Andy” Dwyer. He’s like an exuberant child, delighted at the simplest things. From being a couch potato deadbeat boyfriend, he goes through major developmental arcs that see him create a whole new life while staying true to his cheerful personality. Andy seems to be a foundation for many major characters Pratt would go on to play, tying most of them together with the Andy original quote: “I have no idea what I’m doing but I know I do it really, really well.” Whether he be a hallway shoe-shiner, children’s performer Johnny Karate, FBI agent Burt Macklin, a rock star, camp leader Brother Nature, or just himself, he will steal your heart (and probably all nearby toys).
The show itself is a hilarious, funloving sitcom following a group of unlikely bureaucrats running the local government parks and recreation department of fictional city Pawnee, Indiana. The Lego Movie There’s not much to say here, since funloving Emmet is only voiced by Pratt, but I will say that the character fits the bill for Pratt’s personality as well. Super bubbly and almost obnoxiously giddy, The Lego Movie is like an infectious laugh, but two hours long. Love or hate the “Everything is Awesome” theme, the movie offers heartwarming messages of friendship and trying your best, which will never be outdated. Guardians of the Galaxy By now it is clear that Pratt tends to land major goofball roles. Peter Quill is absolutely no exception. He’s an idiot all right, but he’s an idiot with an unparalleled music taste in the MCU. I don’t see Captain America shaking his groove thing anywhere, thank you very much. Besides, having watched his mother die, watched his father-figure die in his arms, and killed his own biological father, the poor guy’s had a rough life (especially if you take into account the events of Infinity War and Endgame). For such a mercilessly war-torn world, it is refreshing to have an average dopey “superhero” (lacking superpowers) with not much besides some dubious leadership skills and compassion helping him find his way. Jurassic World I’ll admit, he isn’t as goofy here as the rest. Pratt plays Owen Grady, a US Navy veteran and ethologist in charge of researching and training four velociraptors. His wit, however, is greater than ever. Overall, he’s much more of a smooth-talking, tactful, and cunning protagonist. Perhaps those are some qualities that Peter Quill should be taking notes on. I hope you’ve put your Infinity Gauntlet on your nightstand and switched it for a remote because I assure you that at least one of these will keep you from snapping.
arts // no. 8
theotherpress.ca
Annual SD36 dance competition takes the stage ››‘Outbreak 2019’ event review
utbreak 2019 was held at Chandos Pattison Auditorium on April 27. The competition features high school dance teams from all over School District 36 (Surrey). The judges this year were Shauna Smith, Francis Aranton, Dana Dixon, Toni Shenfield, Carmen Forsyth, and Victor Tran—all reputable names in the Lower Mainland’s dance community. I find that high school concert band performances, art shows, and even sports competitions pale in comparison to the energy demonstrated at any dance event. Every school cheers vigorously for their own teams but also for every other team to grace the stage. The spirit of event-goers is loud and supports hollering during dances to continuously hype the performers up. Though I’m no dance adjudicator, there were some very memorable dances showcased in the event. I found the themed ones stood out among the dozens of performances but strangely these were mostly done by the beginner and intermediate classes. I may be biased when I say my favourite performance in the show was by Panorama Ridge’s beginner class, “Stranger Things.” Not because I went to that school but because Stranger Things is one of my favourite shows. Though, since this performance won gold and the Judge’s Choice award, I may not be so biased after all. The mix included the show’s soundtrack as well as soundbites
of the stage with portraits of (presumably) the dancers’ deceased loved ones. The contemporary dance featured the dancers going up to the portraits and placing white flowers in front of them. The competition was wrapped up by North Surrey’s senior hip-hop team. Their piece—titled “Honouring SD36”—was a tribute to the many iconic dances that have graced the Outbreak stage along the years. They began by performing part of Fleetwood Park’s 2015 piece, moving on to
Sullivan Heights for 2016, Kwantlen Park for 2017, Queen Elizabeth for 2018, and finally for 2019 North Surrey continued the rest of their own choreography. All teams put on an impressive show regardless of experience. Outbreak overall was a refreshing experience highlighting a thriving and passionate community coming together to celebrate each other’s accomplishments.
choreography in Violeta, the choreography in this music video focuses more on hand movements. The music video is very fun and you will probably sing along a lot.
frame by frame to show what it would look if the film was remade today. The song produced by Zedd sounds like Tokyo life when it gets to the chorus.
Shawn Mendes – Lost in Japan Toronto’s Shawn Mendes is one of the biggest Canadian singers in the world right now, with his recent self-titled album getting Best Album in the Juno Awards this year and him now being a model for Calvin Klein. The music video of the second hit single from the album pays homage to my favourite film: The 2003 Academy Awardwinning comedy Lost in Translation. In the music video, they recreate some of the key scenes in the film like the opening scene when Bob arrives in Tokyo, the scene where he films the Suntory Whisky commercial, and when he and Charlotte go on a night out in the city. The scenes were recreated
The Dead South – In Hell I’ll Be in Good Company This music video fits for a Canadian summer. The Regina band made the music video of this hit single from their album Good Company (2014) two years after it was released, and the music video caused the band to go mainstream. While it looks like it was filmed in one shot, the band is seen performing the song in many places. The dance that the two lead members do reminds me a bit of the end of The Beatles’ TV movie Magical Mystery Tour. The music video combined with the quietness of the song makes it feel as if you are in the middle of nowhere.
YouTube music video classics: Additional music videos
Still of 'Bug and Peace' music video
Credit
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from characters as transitions. The dancers were clad in costumes of either the main characters or of the Demogorgon monsters. The dance itself followed the show’s plotline, beginning with Will’s disappearance and so on. Dance holds a special place in my heart because of how it can portray vast and unexplainable emotions. Kwantlen Park’s advanced class did just that with their piece titled, “For Our Loved Ones.” Picture frames were positioned at the front
Photo by Sonam Kaloti
Sonam Kaloti Arts Editor
››Other music videos worth mentioning Jerrison Oracion Senior Columnist
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ith the school year done and the summer term beginning, it is that time of year when summer songs are released and we determine what the song of the summer will be. In this column this year, I’ve talked a lot about music videos of J-Pop and K-Pop. While there were a few interesting music videos released in North America in the past few months, there were not a lot that wowed me. However, there were still plenty of music videos that I would have liked to showcase in this column but did not have room to include. Here are some of them. IZ*ONE – Violeta I was originally not going to showcase this music video because it has the same components that you would expect in a K-Pop video. However, the choreography and the song are so good that I’d like to talk about it. I’ve heard the song—which is
IZ*ONE’s recent hit single from their recent EP HEART*IZ—a lot in various Korean restaurants, which suggests that the group is very popular worldwide. The music video of the song looks like a jewellery commercial. We see Jang Won-Young in a flower field, Sakura Miyawaki, Nako Yabuki, and Hitomi Honda singing more in Korean, and Ahn Yujin doing a dance solo while splashing water. HKT48 – Bug and Peace A side note to the previous music video: Before Sakura Miyawaki was in IZ*ONE, she was a member of HKT48 and was originally going to be the next face of AKB48. We have her as one of the lead members in the music video of this song “Bug and Peace” from 2017. This video is like Westworld HKT48 style, especially during the beginning where now-former-member Rino Sashihara malfunctions while playing a video game. We see the members fixing mistakes, or “bugs,” in everyday life. Compared to the
life & style // no. 9
Have an idea for a story? lifeandstyle@theotherpress.ca
Life & Style
• La Casa Gelato: Just a tourist trap, or Vancouver’s best? • Tips, tricks, and a recipe for amazing Earl Grey ganache ...and more
Can we take climate change seriously yet? Morgan Hannah Life & Style Editor
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ears ago, I watched March of the Penguins by director Luc Jacquet and I cried over the simply breathtaking footage of the marvellous migration of emperor penguins across the Antarctic. These birds are the world’s largest penguin species, with specimens measuring in around four feet tall, up to 100 pounds in weight, and living for roughly 20 years. Penguins require stable sea ice to breed during the months from early April when the penguins arrive, to December when their young hatch. As if by some magical force, pairs of 15,000 to 24,000 emperor penguins—that’s around five to nine percent of the global emperor penguin population—living in the Southern Hemisphere have historically migrated all at the same time to the same breeding grounds along the ice shelves and bays of the Weddell Sea as their ancestors have done for generations.
The Weddell Sea is part of the Southern Ocean and consists of the area between the coasts of Coats Land and the Antarctic Peninsula. However, the different shelves along the Peninsula are receding due to climate change. The number of people who are simply unaware or ignorant of the human-instigated damages threatening these penguin breeding grounds is frightening and can no longer be ignored. The second largest colony in the world of these majestic penguins has suffered catastrophic devastation over the past several years and has “essentially disappeared overnight,” according to the BBC. In 2016, thousands of the tuxedowearing birds’ chicks drowned after the Brunt Ice Shelf in Antarctica collapsed. This isn’t entirely fresh news; the Larson A Shelf collapsed in 1995, and the Larson B Shelf collapsed in 2002. Scientists had previously considered these grounds as “climate change refugia” for penguins, Dr. Phil Trathan of the British Antarctic Survey (BAS) told the BBC. Yet fewer and fewer
penguins have been sighted there since the 2016 collapse, according to the BAS, who photograph penguin colonies and their guano to keep track of numbers and other findings. The impact and subsequent state of the ice mean that the penguin colony at Brunt has almost entirely disappeared. Many of the adult penguins have joined the nearby Dawson-Lambton colony, seeking better breeding grounds as environmental conditions continue to change. This news is encouraging, as scientists were unsure whether the penguins would seek alternative sites in response to the habitat loss, but the numbers found at DawsonLambton don’t make up for the thousands of chicks lost in the Brunt Ice Shelf collapse and the subsequent difficulties breeding. Published model projections suggest that emperor penguin numbers are dramatically falling and by the end of this century, it is expected that 50 to 70 percent of these birds will be lost to sea ice condition changes as a result of climate change.
Photo by Denis Luyten via Wikimedia Commons
››Thousands of emperor penguin chicks have perished due to habitat loss
It is my hope that with more knowledge of what is happening around us, we may open our eyes and our hearts and try our hardest to lessen our ecological footprints. Climate change may be inevitable, but that doesn’t mean we can’t work together to slow down its progress for the sake of emperor penguins, many other threatened and endangered animal species, and our own selves.
The Pour Boy: Ice, ice, baby ››Cool ice cubes to keep on hand Jacey Gibb Distribution Manager
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ot take: Ice is the secret MVP to any cocktail. Whether you’re slipping some cubes into a shaker while mixing, smashing some up to make refreshing ice shards, or simply pouring booze atop a single, giant cube, ice can make or break a cocktail. If you’re hosting, then the ice situation is easier to control. I’ve been mocked enough times to know this sounds excessive, but I always have three ice cube trays in my freezer, ready to go. Most occasions rarely call for that much ice; however, we’ve dipped into that third tray more often than you’d think, and it’s
helped us avoid having to make lukewarm cocktails. (You can also use the ice for nonalcoholic purposes too, I suppose.) In terms of trays, stick with the traditional rectangular ones most apartment freezers seemingly come stocked with rather than novelty trays, i.e. the ones you impulsively bought at IKEA. The novelty shape is funny for about 1.5 seconds until it melts and becomes an unrecognizable shape rapidly diluting your drink. These trays are also a pain to stack in the freezer and usually end up spilling, meaning you’ll have fewer ice cubes to work with. Traditional ice cube trays are stackable, made out of more solid material, and deliver nice big blocks for your drink. You should also invest in a tray of larger ice cubes. These moulds are usually
made of silicone and create ice cubes around the two-inch mark. Larger ice cubes melt more slowly than several smaller cubes, so these are ideal for when you want to chill a drink but avoid diluting it too much (think Old Fashioneds or Negronis). Having one of these trays on hand is useful, though keep in mind that, depending on your freezer, they take a day or two to completely freeze—so avoid filling them up the night before a party, or you’ll have a tray of half-water-half-ice cubes. The final type of ice you’ll encounter on your cocktail venturing is the crushed variety. People will argue about the seeming excessiveness of having an ice bag and crusher, but it’s a simple purchase and it goes a long way. I even included it in my home bar essentials list in a previous “Pour
Boy.” Unfortunately, crushing ice ahead of time doesn’t really work since the shards will refreeze together, so you’ll have to crush as you go. All of this is helpful advice for when you’re hosting—so what about when you’re making cocktails somewhere else? Most people generally have a tray or two in their freezer, but always err on the side of caution. It’s also easy to shoot the host a quick message to see what their ice situation is like beforehand so you can potentially pick some up on the way. You never realize how crucial ice is for cocktails until you find yourself in a situation without any. Be the host you wish to see in the world, and keep your freezer stocked with all the ice cube essentials.
STEP LIGHTLY 22 ways to reduce your ecological footprint MORGAN HANNAH Life & Style Editor
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4. DITCH PAPER TOWELS AND USE HEMP INSTEAD
to be wrong on this one, guys).
20,000 gallons of water to produce
ere's the thing, I'm not going to spend my time trying to educate and
project my views and opinions regarding environmental awareness to an
audience that is likely not even going to recycle this paper (sure would be nice
It takes 17 trees and more than
There are already countless articles out there either assuring people that
one ton of paper towel. According
we're all fine despite our current lifestyles, communities, and the effects they
to the site Hemp Basics, one acre
have on the planet, or scaring people by stating that we're all doomed and the
of hemp will produce as much fibre
world will end, so why bother trying. We don't need another voice reiterating
as two to three acres of cotton or
what has already been said many, many times.
two to four acres of trees. Hemp
I'm going to assume that Other Press readers are smart and already
paper products are renewable,
know that because of current human lifestyles across the globe, our planet
biodegradable, and inexpensive due
is heating up fast, our Great Barrier Reef is already around 50 percent wiped
to using fewer materials, energy,
out, forest fires and droughts are more frequent, and our ice sheets are
and chemicals in production.
melting at an alarming. I'm going to assume that readers are already aware of the thousands of plant and animal species threatened with extinction thanks to human causes—including the giraffe, my personal favourite!—and the
5. EAT LESS MEAT
estimated 14 billion pounds of trash floating around in our oceans. I'm going to assume readers are aware of the fact that, according to the Global Footprint
Your diet can change the world.
the average Canadian's lifestyle if everyone lived unchecked and unchanged.
3. LOWER THE THERMOSTAT AND AIR CONDITIONER
evidence that we have approximately 12 years to reduce our global carbon
units both use non-renewable
pollution, and water scarcity.
far hits.
of your home. To combat this, you
however, use fewer resources
are looking for ways—specific, affordable, and easy ways—to do your part to
two degrees in the winter and raise
inflammation. If you're not a fan
is a measurement of the human demand on nature, the quantity of natural
cause a significant decrease in
weeks on, two weeks off.
carbon footprint is the amount of carbon dioxide and other compounds emitted
bill while fighting global warming.
Network, we'd need almost five Earths’ worth of resources and land to sustain
Raising livestock, unfortunately, contributes to global warming,
I may even go so far as to assume that readers are already educated on
Thermostats and air conditioning
deforestation, widespread
footprint before catastrophic warming far beyond what we've experienced thus
energy to adjust the temperature
Vegan or plant-based diets,
I guess what I'm saying is, I'm going to assume that you already care and
can lower your thermostat by just
and help the body reduce
help out. But first, in case anyone needs a reminder, an ecological footprint
it back up in the summer. This can
of having no meat at all, try two
resources required to support our economy and consumption patterns. A
energy use and lower your power
from the consumption of fossil fuels by a community or individual; currently, the
Win-win.
carbon footprint accounts for 60 percent of the global ecological footprint.
Without further delay, let's dive into 22 ways to reduce your ecological
footprint:
6. RECYCLE RESPONSIBLY
1. SAY NO TO BOTTLED WATER
Wash and dry bottles and cans,
Living in British Columbia, choosing bottled water over tap water is really
flatten cardboard, and reduce
a matter of preference or convenience, not a matter of health. According
plastic and Styrofoam waste. Keep
to the CBC, bottled water comes from various sources such as springs,
everything separate and recycle
manmade wells, and municipal water supplies. What's that? Bottled
conscientiously. For every piece of
water can often be tap water? Guess that $2.50 bottle of water is not
paper recycled, that's one less tree
much different from the free stuff that comes out of your kitchen. Instead,
cut down.
consider refilling a reusable stainless-steel water bottle.
2. BRING REUSABLE BAGS WHEN SHOPPING
For buying anything, including groceries, bring reusable bags with you—canvas, cotton, hemp, whatever they're made of,
make sure they'll last. Some countries have implemented singleuse plastic bag bans, but for those stragglers that have yet to
jump onto the environmental bandwagon, remember this: If you don't buy ’em, they'll stop making ’em.
7. COMPOST
Composting return s valuable nutrients to the soil, helping
maintain its quality and fertility, which in turn will help improve plant growth and yi eld better crops. All you need is a bucket
or a paper bag to collect food scraps and organic waste, then when it gets full, e mpty the bucket or bag into your curbside green bin.
8. DRIVE LESS
17. SAY NO TO FROZEN FOODS
According to Sciencing magazine, car pollution contributes to one-
Packaging for frozen foods is all plastic. Remember what I said
fifth of total US global warming
13. SWITCH TO LEDS
taking public transit, and carpooling,
carbon dioxide emissions
pollution. By riding bikes, walking, we can reduce the amount of
carbon dioxide and other pollutants emitted.
Switching to LEDs can reduce significantly and each bulb lasts for around 10 years. According to a report by HIS Markit, in
2017 using LEDs instead of incandescent or fluorescent
bulbs cut down on global CO2
9. REDUCE WATER USAGE
emissions by 570 million tons.
and better for curbing water usage. Additionally,
dimmer switch to control the
as it ensures that the soil absorbs the water rather
any given time.
Taking shorter, cooler showers is better for the skin
Consider also purchasing a
watering lawns at night is a great way to save water
amount of light and energy at
earlier? If you stop buying ’em, they'll stop making ’em. Plus,
frozen dinners are not good for you. C'mon, you can do better!
18. DON'T BAG YOUR PRODUCE IN PLASTIC You gotta wash it at home
before you eat it anyway, so
what's a little dirt and cooties gonna do?
19. USE NATURAL PRODUCTS WHENEVER POSSIBLE
Rather than your usual face wash with those plastic little exfoliating beads that don't biodegrade, try
honey. Honey is an excellent face
wash alternative as it is all-natural
and antibacterial, and safer for the
environment, your wallet, and your skin.
than it evaporating in the sun. Lastly, remember to turn the tap off while brushing your teeth.
20. BRING A BAG WHEN HIKING OR AT THE BEACH Using a white or clear
biodegradable garbage bag, collect trash and scraps you find on your
14. BRING YOUR OWN TAKEOUT CONTAINERS
When eating out, bring your own takeout containers for leftovers.
10. SOLID TOILETRIES
Consider using reusable utensils
conditioner a try. These
plastic ones as well.
Give naked shampoo and
next hike or trip to the beach. You're going anyways, so you might as
well do something nice for the Earth
three bottles of the liquid stuff—
for your bank account—it’s
Solid conditioner bars also double
is terrible for the environment
and conditioner can outlast two to
Thrift shopping isn’t just good
one bar will last up to 80 washes!
great for the world! Fast fashion
and Big conditioner bar from LUSH Cosmetics; they're packed full of
essential oils and fresh ingredients for super soft hair without the
chemicals and plastic bottles.
and repurposes something that would've just been tossed into a landfill.
and straws rather than single-use
22. BUY USED CLOTHING
favourites are Godiva shampoo bar
This will help food to last longer
while you're at it.
concentrated pucks of shampoo
as shaving cream. My personal
21. REUSE EXISTING PLASTIC CONTAINERS TO STORE PRODUCE
15. SHOP AT FARMERS MARKETS Shopping locally at farmers
markets is a great way to support your community and find more economical alternatives to the
produce in chain grocery stores. Such alternatives include glass-
and tends to exploit underpaid workers in other countries.
People often donate perfectly good clothing just because
they don’t fit or aren’t in style anymore, so you can build
amazing, high-quality outfits for a very low cost.
bottled milk, paper-bagged bread, and organic veggies and fruits
in reusable containers. Also, by
shopping locally, you're supporting
11. PLANT TREES
Join a tree planting community or plant trees in your yard. A
single tree absorbs 13 pounds
the sale of produce that has had
less travel time to get to you, which
in turn lowers the carbon footprint of your fruits and veggies.
of carbon dioxide per year.
So now you know what you can do to reduce your ecological
footprint, why should you care? Why not? Like being good to a friend, being good to the environment is also good for one's self too, and it
really isn't hard—it's simply a matter of not relying on convenience but
rather putting in that extra effort. The Earth belongs to all of us, and we
all need it and its natural resources like clean water and fresh air to live. We are connected to nature and to the world. Our highest responsibility must be to take care of the systems that take care of us.
Each time you remember to bring reusable shopping bags with
you to the grocery store, or when you water the lawn at night to ensure that it soaks into the soil rather than evaporates, or when you take a
16. MULTITASK IN THE SHOWER
white garbage bag with you on your next hike and clean up the area,
12. BAMBOO
doing the laundry while having your
household products at the end of their life cycles for those made from
it is a low-maintenance plant that grows quickly
water. Additionally, if you’re using
a difference. If everyone encourages and holds their neighbours,
as a regular plant. Betcha didn't see that one
collecting bath and shower water to
can work together as communities to encourage the rest of the world to
A personal favourite of mine! Try
or even when you make a commitment to swap some of your everyday
Bamboo for a house plant is a great idea since
shower, which will save time and
more renewable and organic materials, you're doing your part to make
and sucks up four times as much carbon dioxide
organic shampoos and soaps, consider
friends, and family accountable for maintaining this new lifestyle, we
coming.
water the lawn.
follow.
Next thing you know, we might just save our home.
life & style // no. 12
theotherpress.ca
Clear nail polish ››I put that sh*t on everything Morgan Hannah Life & Style Editor
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lear nail polish might just be my new favourite thing and here’s why: You can use it for just about anything. I mean it! Yes, its marketed purpose is to strengthen and seal manicures and make your nails look shiny and healthy, but have you ever considered using it to stop a run in your pantyhose? We’ve all been there—too lazy to shave tonight, guess I’ll throw on some nylons. Then your freshly manicured nail punctures those nylons and now you’re throwing out your $10 leg underwear. But with clear nail polish, you don’t have to! Just apply a small dab to the tear and let it dry. Another unusual use for clear nail polish that I learned from a friend: Making labels waterproof. My friend likes to create her own preserves and canned goods and is very DIY, so it didn’t surprise me when she pulled out a container of clear nail polish and painted over her handwritten jam labels. The nail polish acts as a protective seal and prevents smudging. You can even wash the jars without ruining the labels! Neat! This clear polish life hack came from my time as a jewellery saleswoman. When working any retail job, it’s always best to wear the products you sell, and I happened to sell both real and fake rings and things.
Being on a budget, I bought myself a couple of fake rings and after a shift of wearing them, I noticed my skin would sometimes be dyed greenish-blue, like an odd ring-shaped bruise. My co-worker at the time mentioned that she used clear nail polish to avoid fake jewellery stains. Paint a coat or two on your ring as a protective seal and you won’t have to worry about faux bruises from your faux jewellery anymore. Have you ever needed glue for your latest crafty art project and couldn’t find any? Instead of going to the store and spending money, why not see if you have any nail polish lying around and take advantage of its adhesive properties? Nail polish works great as an alternative to glue. If your crafts involve sewing but it’s a pain in the backside trying to thread that needle, dip the end of the string into clear polish and then try! It’ll be too easy. Here’s a nail polish hack I tried out on my fiancÊ’s car the other day. I found a fourcentimetre-long scratch on the driver’s side door of the car, and instead of taking it in for an unfairly priced fix, I just used some black nail polish (for this hack, clear polish won’t do much—try to match the colour of your polish to the colour of your car) and filled in the scratch! If you can’t find the colour of nail polish you need, say to fill in a scratch on your car, or you want a custom colour for your claws and paws, try breaking off a small piece of eyeshadow, funnelling it into
otherplaylist the
the clear nail polish bottle, then cap it and shake it until the eyeshadow completely dissolves. Bam! Unique nail polish colours in an instant. I cannot stress enough how much I love this unusual use for clear nail polish: Keeping glitter in place. Everyone can agree that glitter is the devil’s dust—once that sparkly shit gets inside your house, on your clothes, in your car, or on your skin, it’ll never leave. Even after having vacuumed months later, you’ll find the damn sparkles glinting up at you from deep within the fibres of your carpet. But no more, thanks to clear nail polish: Just apply a coat to all your glitter-adorned knickknacks to pin those bad boys down. Applying a layer of nail polish to screws before using them gives them added durability. My dad has recently started wearing contact lenses, but before then, he wore glasses for a large portion of his life. I can only imagine the frustration of having those tiny little screws in his glasses always getting loose and falling out. By applying a layer of clear polish on top of those screws, he can secure them in place. Like with stopping a run in nylons, clear nail polish can stop a chip in your windshield from spreading. Of course, this is only a temporary solution and it is important to ensure your safety by fixing a damaged windshield as soon as you can, but in the meantime, just paint over the chip with nail polish and let it dry.
ď‚ƒ
In need of a bandage and unable to find one? Clear nail polish works as a temporary bandage for minor wounds too! Just clean the area and apply a thin layer of polish. There are lots of nontoxic brands out there that work just as well as liquid adhesives and other expensive first aid items. Wooden furniture can be beautiful but will sometimes splinter. To fix the problem area, slice or sand it down and apply nail polish. You won’t notice a difference. As you can see, from waterproofing and protecting to sealing and first aid, clear nail polish has many unusual but handy uses. This glossy, transparent, inexpensive, and easy-to-find beauty product has more to it than meets the eye.
#DOUGLIFE
Share your photos with us on Instagram using the hashtag #DougLife, for a chance to be featured in the paper!
Brittney MacDonald Life & Style Editor
May Well gang, May is upon us! The birds are singing, flowers are blooming, and we’re even seeing a few sunny days here and there. However, May isn’t just about defrosting from winter—it’s also about celebrating some of our favourite feminine role models. Whether you’re planning the perfect Mother’s Day gift, or just basking in the shining light of some of your dearest idols, here’s a playlist to help you stay inspired through all of it. Chain of Fools by Aretha Franklin (Morgan) Pretty Girl Rock by Keri Hilson (Morgan) U.N.I.T.Y by Queen Latifah (Roshni) Like a Girl by Lizzo (Roshni) Mary by Baby Goth (Brittney) Last Hello by Melissa Etheridge (Brittney) Just a Girl by No Doubt (Bex) Dump the Guy ASAP by Lisa LeBlanc (Bex)
This week’s photo is by Douglas College
issue 28// vol 45
life & style // no. 13
238 flavours
››La Casa Gelato: Just a tourist trap, or Vancouver’s best?
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ou know that feeling you get when you’re strolling through the ice cream aisle in Save-On-Foods and you’re faced with the same basic flavours—chocolate, vanilla, salted caramel, berry something, so on and so forth? As someone with allergies to milk, my options are even more limited and even more expensive! So, what’s a girl to do if her taste buds are looking for a sweet, creamy hug that won’t leave her feeling empty of flavour and full of fat? I think I may have found the answer at La Casa Gelato. Opened in 1982 on Venables Street, La Casa Gelato was created by a man whose passion and work were one and the same. Vince Misceo and the whole family would spend around 15 hours a day scooping exotic flavours for Vancouver locals and tourists. Originally, La Casa served pizza, panarotti, panni, and gelato, but along the way they decided to focus on what they did best—velvety smooth gelato, sorbetto, and yogurt. On their website they claim to be “the only place in the world with 238 flavours on location.” In business for 36 years, La Casa Gelato has won many awards, including the 2016 and 2018 Best Gelato Golden Plate award from the Georgia Strait. The big pink shop has also been voted Vancouver’s best in a 2018 Global News online poll. With 588 flavours to date, I decided to take a visit to the legendary gelato shop and taste some of these flavours for myself, seeing as how samples are free and practically endless! Wasabi apple, papaya, blueberry lemon, Bailey’s Irish cream and Oreo, white chocolate and Oreo, and espresso chocolate flake are just some of the many flavours
I tried during my visit, and even though I was sure I’d found my favourite—the deliciously dairy-free papaya—I couldn’t stop there! With three coolers full of fantastic flavours, I had to taste as many as I could, allergies be damned! Wild fennel, black sesame, aloe vera, honeycomb, and balsamic vinegar! All delicious! Chocolate chili, gorgonzola cheese, red bean and tofu, and green tea and mint, my taste buds were screaming I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream! Yes, this place certainly can serve up a good scoop and they even have dairy-free and sugar-free options, but what does the general public feel about La Casa Gelato? I stalked the front doors to find out. Peter F. from Vancouver said in an interview with the Other Press, “The only reason anyone would go to La Casa is to see all the flavours. It’s overpriced, the flavours aren’t as bold as they used to be, and almost every bite has ice crystals in it. There are better options around.” While respecting his opinions on the gelato shop, I also couldn’t ignore the fact that he happened to be carrying a cone of what looked like Cherry Garcia and peanut butter. Trying again, I ran into Desmond from Burnaby who had a more positive review of La Casa Gelato for the Other Press: “A MUST stop! They have on hand 200 flavours at any one time. They even have flavours of fruits that I’ve never heard of before. I tried onion and curry gelato. I’ve never had that before. The prices are high, but it’s worth it.” So, who’s right? Is La Casa Gelato just another tourist trap, or is it Vancouver’s best? I can tell you all about the intense flavours of this seriously authentic gelato, or you can stop by and find out firsthand. Go ahead, treat yo’self.
Photo by Billy Bui
Morgan Hannah Life & Style Editor
Chocolate and ganache ››Tips, tricks, and a recipe for amazing Earl Grey ganache
Bex Peterson Editor-in-Chief
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hocolate can be deceptively difficult to work with. Have you ever wondered why your chocolate-dipped strawberries never seem to set at room temperature, or why your ganache has a gritty texture? The main thing to keep in mind when working with chocolate is temperature. Chocolate has a particular chemical reaction when it gets too hot. When chocolate heats above a certain temperature—31 to 32 C (88 to 90 F) for dark chocolate, 30 to 31 C (86 to 88 F) for milk, and 27 to 28 C (80 to 82 F) for white—the cocoa butter crystals inside the chocolate melt and change form. This means when the chocolate cools, the cocoa butter crystals do not set properly, resulting in chocolate that has lost its structural integrity. Chocolate that is “out of temper” is soft at room temperature, has a sort of dusty, matte look to it, tastes grainy, and tends to bloom (develop white cloudy patches) as it cools. If you’re melting chocolate to make chocolate bark, dipped fruit, truffle shells, or a variety of other chocolatebased projects, you essentially have two options. First, you can opt to use compound chocolate instead of real chocolate. Compound chocolate contains vegetable fat instead of cocoa butter; it’s cheaper and easier to work with as it has a higher melting point. Compound chocolate is commonly sold in baking stores for this reason—if you’ve ever seen Wilton’s brightly coloured “Candy Melts,” that’s compound chocolate. It does have a different taste from real chocolate though, so if you’re determined to work with the real deal, you’ll have to learn how to “temper” your chocolate—that is, carefully heat your chocolate without overheating it. There are several ways to do this involving candy thermometers, double boilers, marble slabs, or expensive tempering machines, but let’s be real— none of us have time for any of that. My favourite method of tempering chocolate is simple and requires nothing fancier than a microwave. First, chop your chocolate very fine. Put your chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl and heat it carefully in 15-second increments, taking it out and stirring it between each burst. You’re going to feel kind of silly at first as it won’t look like it’s melting at all but be patient! You want it to get to a point where it’s all mostly melted, but there are still some solid bits mixed in. Once it’s at this stage, take it out and stir
it until the heat of the melted chocolate melts those last few chunks. You’ll know it’s tempered properly if you spread a thin layer of chocolate on a board or a plate at room temperature and it sets within a minute or two. You’ll have to work quickly with it, but you’ll be amazed by how much better it tastes. There’s nothing like biting into a chocolate strawberry and getting a nice firm “snap” from the shell. Ganache has a similar temperature problem. Ganache is a simple combination of heavy cream and chocolate used for fillings, dips, and toppings. However, if your cream is too hot when you whisk it with the chocolate, the ganache can “break,” resulting in a grainy mess instead of a smooth chocolate sauce. To avoid this, let your hot cream and finely-chopped chocolate sit for a while after combining them without whisking—about three to five minutes depending on quantities. That way when you whisk the two, the chocolate will already be mostly melted by the heat of the cream, and the cream will be cool enough that it won’t break the chocolate that hasn’t melted yet. With all that in mind, here’s a quick recipe for an amazing Earl Grey white chocolate ganache that tastes exactly like a London Fog. Ingredients • Finely-chopped white chocolate • Heavy cream (a.k.a. whipping cream) • Earl Grey teabags You’ll notice I didn’t put any specific quantities in the ingredients list. With baking, ratios tend to work better than specific quantities, since it’s easier to adjust the recipe as needed. For a thick ganache with a dense finish (good for chocolate truffles), you’ll want a 2:1 chocolate to cream ratio. For a frosting-like, more spreadable texture, use a 1:1 ratio. For a thin glaze that’s good for dips, use a 1:1.5 chocolate to cream ratio. To make the ganache, heat your cream until it’s nice and hot but not boiling over; I recommend doing this carefully in the microwave or with a double boiler. Pour the hot cream over your teabags—I use at least two tea bags per one cup of cream. Let that sit for about 10 to 15 minutes, depending on how strong you want the flavour to be, then squeeze the teabags out into the cream and dispose of them. Heat up the Earl Grey-infused cream again and pour it into your chopped chocolate, letting that sit for about three to five minutes. Once the cream has cooled so it’s warm rather than hot, whisk slowly to combine. Enjoy!
Have an idea for a story? opinions@theotherpress.ca
O pinions When white people compete
• Flip-flops are the absolute worst • Wearing fetish apparel in public is inappropriate • Why you shouldn’t kill spiders in your home ...and more
to be the most woke
››Bashing other white people doesn’t make you better Jessica Berget Opinions Editor
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hite people are the worst, I swear.” If you think of yourself as a progressive, informed individual, there’s a possibility you may have heard, thought, or uttered the above statement at one point or another—whether you’re a person of colour or not. That’s okay, I understand if you’ve felt that way—I know that I definitely have on more than one occasion—but I think it’s important for white people in particular to understand that verbally tearing down other white people isn’t enough in the way of support for people of colour. There’s a huge difference between recognizing harmful behaviours and simply calling things out in an attempt to “cancel” somebody. That difference is essentially action versus inaction. There isn’t anything particularly productive about elbowing your friends of colour and sighing, “White people, right?” If you’re white yourself, you’re still protected and veiled by the privilege that you are calling out. It’s great that you can recognize inappropriate behaviour and address the fact that white privilege may have something to do with said behaviour, but that same white privilege allows you to feel free to call things out without
genuinely feeling or understanding the implications. If you want to be an ally and truly understand why something might be offensive, the most important thing to do is to listen to the people of colour who are trying to explain what’s unacceptable to
Flying off the handle in an attempt to look supportive—such as exclaiming how awful white people are and how ashamed you are to be one of them— makes it harder for someone like me to have an informative conversation with you. Furthermore, you might think that saying
you. Listening might not feel like an active stand against racism, but it really is. It allows you to be all the more informed in your fight against discrimination.
those kinds of things is what a person of colour wants to hear, but it could put a person of colour into an even more harmful situation if someone with a negative bias
overhears your conversation. While you’re protected by the colour of your skin when you speak your mind, someone like me is automatically viewed as stereotypically hateful and resistant to accept the Western society that I “chose” to be a part of. For bigots and racists, it doesn’t matter who in a group holds which opinion; if they sense hostility then they will justify any further discrimination using that. Instead of trying to one-up other white people to prove that because you recognize their shitty ways, you are therefore better than them, I think listening and taking in opinions and experiences of people who have truly felt racism is the first step toward being a supportive ally. Action, such as supporting your friends of colour and attending educational talks and marches, staying informed, and allowing people to check your hostility when it isn’t necessary— these are much more important than calling someone “another backwards, uninformed white person.” If someone has enough conviction to be racist or discriminatory in any way, then they probably don’t care that you’re calling them out. Save your words and insults for when they really matter, like when your friends need them during a protest or in a time of despair.
Pet peeves Jessica Berget Opinions Editor
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ogs are wonderful creatures. They’re cute, sweet, and loyal which makes them excellent companions. To those who don’t own a dog, meeting one on the street can be an exciting and rewarding experience. However, I think more people need to get into the habit of asking owners whether or not they can pet their dog before touching them. I notice a lot of people gleefully scream and run up to random dogs to pet them, but never say a word to or even make eye contact with the owner. Dogs are cute, yes, but that is no excuse to feel entitled to touch someone else’s pet without consulting them or even saying hello first. It’s rude, and I’m sure you were raised better than to touch things that don’t belong to you—especially other living creatures. Petting dogs without the owner’s permission is not a habit that we should be tolerating. You may think I’m overexaggerating, but there are many valid reasons not to pet strangers’ dogs without asking. For one, they may be anxious or shy and act aggressively in the presence of
strangers coming up to them and getting into their personal space. Or perhaps a dog’s owner trained it to be defensive in the presence of strangers. Dogs are protective creatures, so if they feel threatened, they may try to protect themselves and their owners and you could get bitten as a result. If you ask the owner first if petting is okay, they might tell you that their pet is shy or that it doesn’t like being petted by strangers and you can avoid potentially being bitten. What’s worse is that if you were to unintentionally spook the dog by petting it and it bites you out of self-defence, it might be considered the dog or the owner’s fault and they could get in a lot of trouble. According to a 2016 article by animal law lawyer Rebeka Breder, a proposed piece of legislation—Bill M212 or the Animal Liability Act (ALA)—would hold owners and their animals liable for all bites. This act “essentially creates a legal scheme of absolute liability,” she said. So, say you were to pet a stranger’s dog and happened to get bitten—the owner would automatically be held responsible and the dog might also be dubbed aggressive and even be seized by animal control, all because a stranger approached it and it was acting out its
Photo via PopDose.com
››Don’t pet strangers’ dogs without asking
most basic instinct to protect itself and its owner. This bill hasn’t been passed into law yet, but its implications are nonetheless worrying for pet owners. Still think petting dogs without asking is okay? Finally, people shouldn’t be petting strangers’ dogs because it sets a bad example of what is okay to other people and especially young kids. Think of what chaos could ensue if a small child saw
others petting strangers’ dogs, went to pet a dog without asking, and was bitten. Unless that dog comes up to you first and the owner gives permission, don’t assume it’s all right to pet it. Petting a stranger’s dog without asking could have negative consequences for yourself or the animal, so for everyone’s safety and peace of mind, just ask before you pet.
issue 28// vol 45
opinions // no. 15
Keep BDSM in the bedroom
››Wearing fetish apparel in public is inappropriate
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ot too long ago while I was walking around Vancouver, I had the misfortune of seeing someone wearing a leather fetish dog mask. You would think that this was an isolated incident, but sadly this was not the first time I’ve witnessed people wearing fetish gear firsthand. Now, I’m not one to kink-shame and I understand wanting to own and be proud of your sexuality, but if you think wearing this kind of apparel or any other sexual, kinky, or BDSM gear in public is okay then I will shame you. I don’t care what you do in the comfort of your own bedroom, but I do care when people decide to publicize their kinks. It’s inappropriate and, if you ask me, a little creepy. There is a time and a place for wearing fetish gear and being in public in the middle of the day is certainly not it. For one thing, there is a good chance that children will see that, which could be disturbing to them. If they are too young to be aware of that aspect of human sexuality, seeing people wear fetish garb can be confusing and even scary to them. I think seeing these overt demonstrations of kinks and fetishes
could also possibly give them a negative or unhealthy perception of sex if it’s their first experience with something of that nature. It’s also disturbing to adults. I don’t think anybody wants to know the sexual preferences and fetishes of strangers and even if they do, a public street is not the best place to find that out. The only time I think this kind of clothing would be acceptable to wear in a public setting of any sort would be at certain adult-themed events such as a gay club, nighttime pride events, or maybe a kinky Halloween party. Otherwise, keep your fetish gear at home. To me, sex and sexuality should be a private affair. I don’t even like to see people kiss in public to be quite honest, so seeing people brazenly wearing gag balls, leather dog masks, and bondage gear in broad daylight is a little too much to deal with. People’s particular kinks, fetishes, or preferences in the bedroom should only be between the people consensually engaging in these acts, not shared with the general public. Please leave your collars, latex, leashes, and fursuits at home. It’s uncomfortable for anyone who sees you wearing it, especially for kids, and just plain inappropriate in a non-private setting.
Arachnids are all right with me
››Why you shouldn’t kill spiders in your home
Illustration by Cara Seccafien
Jessica Berget Opinions Editor
What gets your goat? ››Flip-flops are the absolute worst
Jessica Berget Opinions Editor Jessica Berget Opinions Editor
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icture this: It’s 11 at night and you’re getting ready to go to bed. As you lay down you notice a black spot wriggling around on your ceiling. It’s your worst nightmare: A spider. What do you do? If you have arachnophobia like many others do, chances are your first instinct is to kill it. However, killing this creepy, crawly friend may actually be to your detriment. To many people’s disbelief, spiders can provide some benefits that go unnoticed and are important to our ecosystems. For one thing, they kill all the other bugs in your house that you don’t want such as mosquitos, flies, moths, earwigs, roaches, and even other spiders. So, killing them would mean a lot of other insects might become permanent guests in your home, which is a lot more annoying than one tiny spider friend. Spiders also help to pollinate plants, recycle other dead insects and animals, and are a food source for many other animals such as birds, fish, and mammals. Killing them may seem like the easiest option, but it’s
not the smartest one. Spiders aren’t as scary as they look and don’t often do harm to people. You don’t need to be afraid of spiders biting you because they’re not biologically built to attack large mammals; most species either physically can’t puncture our skin or aren’t venomous enough to have a serious effect on humans. They almost always only bite if they are provoked and usually try to avoid humans. If you really are uncomfortable with spiders in your home, I would recommend catching them and then releasing them outside rather than squishing them. Before you do that however, I think it’s important to note that many spiders are accustomed to living indoors and have little chance of survival outdoors. Putting them outside could be fatal to them because they are not adapted to the cold. Spiders are the unsung heroes of pest control; you don’t realize how much work they do for our ecosystem until it’s too late. They won’t hurt you unless you hurt them first—so if you ever find them in your house they should be welcomed and not cast out like vermin.
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lip-flops or thongs are the summer footwear of choice for many people. I can understand why—to an extent. Yes, they’re easy to slip on, great for walking on the beach or small distances, and super casual. However, this flimsy footwear is not as great at it first appears. If you ask me, they are the most unreliable shoe ever made, if you could even consider that sad piece of rubber and plastic a shoe. I would rather walk barefoot through fire than to have one even touch my foot. First of all, they make the worst sound when walking with them. The constant flip-flopping sound that gives them their cursed name when you walk in them may be satisfying to some, but to me and possibly many others it is massively irritating. I also hate the way the feel when you wear them. They feel gross no matter how clean they may be. I find they tend to get dirty easily, which as a consequence makes my feet feel dirty and dry, causing them to be all the more uncomfortable. Moreover, the piece of plastic that goes between your toes constantly digs into the webs of your toes, making it painful to walk around in. Flip-flops also provide no
security whatsoever for your feet and leave them exposed to all elements so walking around in them in public can make your feet susceptible to all sorts of spills, dirt, or waste materials—and believe me, you don’t want to step in any sort of waste in flip-flops. They provide none of the safety or comfort that other sandals or shoes do. They might be good for romping around the house or at the beach but otherwise they are not dependable whatsoever. Flipflops are also not good for your feet. They provide no arch or heel support, protection, or shock absorption and they fall off and break way too easily. I like to feel a sense of protection in my shoes, and flip flops provide nothing but an uncomfortably casual appearance and blisters. Many claim that they’re more comfortable to wear in the hot heat of summer, but when it’s 40 above I don’t think footwear makes much of a difference. Finally, in a moment of desperation they are the worst if you have to run anywhere. In my opinion, they might as well be called flops because of how poorly they are designed. These pathetic examples of footwear should not be accepted. Flip-flops may be cheap and convenient, but they are also gross, unsafe, and unsanitary. Do yourself a favour and get some real sandals instead of these cheap plastic hazards.
Humour
Have an idea for a story? humour@theotherpress.ca
• What soul-crushing summer job should you have? • Three worst places to find a summer fling ...and more!
What soul-crushing summer job should you have? ››Nothing screams ‘summer’ like working for ‘the man’ Isabelle Orr Entertainment Editor
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Illustration by Cara Seccafien
acation to Cabo? No thanks. Week-long camping expedition? I don’t think so. Having any semblance of summer fun without the black cloud of a looming 7-to-3 shift with a bunch of high schoolers? Not on my watch, bucko! You’ve chosen to spend the summer working and saving up for the upcoming semester (read: seeing everyone post beautiful travel pics on Instagram while you serve your friends’ parents on an openair patio), which is a very adult, mature thing to do. However, all of your job options suck! Help remedy this demeaning Sophie’s choice by taking this quiz!
Describe your work ethic: a) house elf b) Santa c) Tom Sawyer type d) Garfield
Mostly “A”s: Office temp You’re a corporate shill and a major suck. Yeah, you’re probably going to get ahead in life but you’re also a major nerd. You might as well get an unpaid internship, you lackey.
What about your work history? a) one “serious” job (aka not in the food/service industry*) b) manager position c) I try and do as little work as possible at any and every job d) booting for my little brother and his friends
Mostly “B”s: Coffee shop Your maturity makes you a dream to hire, and that’s why you’ll settle for the first job that hires you (on the spot, too). A few weeks in you’ll realize how poorly the workplace is run and how the burden of running it now rests on your scrawny shoulders. Feel free to even the odds with some light pastry thieving.
What is your greatest work weakness? a) too much attention to detail—I get lost in tasks b) I care too much about the job and sometimes it can affect my emotions c) I’m above a dumbass summer job d) nut allergy
Mostly “C”s: Ice cream parlour You care so little that you’ll work at almost any job, regardless of how bad the uniform is. Find an easy job where you can coast while still getting some extra tip money. Try showing maturity and good work ethic while the boss is around and get promoted to manager so you can exert your power over weak high school teens.
A coworker texts you to tell you they’re viciously ill and unable to come into work. However, you’ve planned a fun beach day with your friends. What do you do? a) cancel on your friends and cover the shift b) help them find another person to cover c) laugh and say no d) I never pick up my phone if it’s a work call Your newest coworker is having a hard time picking up the flow of the job and they keep making mistakes that you have to fix. You: a) offer to go over certain tasks with them b) give them a list of job duties to review c) don’t fix their mistakes, it’s their problem d) are arguably worse at the job than your new coworker
Mostly “D”s: Movie theatre employee Time to chill! Everybody knows the best place for any slacker to work is the movie theatre. Why? The dim lighting makes it hard to tell if you’re stoned, you get free movies, and have access to unlimited popcorn at the end of a shift that you can just shovel right into a garbage bag and take home. Why make this summer worse than it has to be? Enjoy your minimum wage labour before heading back to the grind in September! *not to demean those in the food and service industry, where I have worked for the past eight-plus years and will die there, where my ashes will be stirred into a vat of cold brew and consumed by my closest friends and family
White woman with tan declares self POC ››It’s as easy as that! Isabelle Orr Entertainment Editor
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nlookers applauded last Saturday when Becky Simmons appointed herself “basically brown.” After living most of her life as a white, Anglo-Saxon woman, Simmons shed the oppressive weight of being white to shoulder a new burden—being a Person of Colour (POC). How did she come to this conclusion? “I got a tan and I’m sooo dark now,” Simmons said. Bystanders said Simmons held her arm up to her friend Jessa Bituin, who is Filipino, and declared their skin tones “almost the same.” “They’re not,” Bituin told reporters. Simmons attributes her change in identity to “spending a lot of time in my parents’ backyard, going to the beach, and going to a tanning bed for 20 minutes every three to four days.” Simmons, who has blonde hair and blue eyes, is ready for her new, innovative
life as a woman of colour. “I think that so many people are hung up on the fact that my parents are uppermiddle-class white people,” Simmons said. “But if there’s one thing I know about different cultures, it’s that they’re so much more open and accepting than your traditional white mindset. For example, my parents wouldn’t let my third-grade best friend Julia Chang come over after school. But I was allowed to go to her house, even though I didn’t really like it because they kept giving me really weird food.” Many people, like Simmons’ friend Chang, felt that Simmons was co-opting an identity while ignoring the social and political hardships faced by POCs all over the world. “I face hardships too!” Simmons said in response to the criticism. “What about when I wanted to get dreadlocks, but everybody said I couldn’t? I just know they would look great on my face shape.” Other Press reporters spoke to Simmons’ parents, who are both blonde and blue-eyed as well.
“Obviously we were a bit taken aback when Becky announced to us that she no longer identifies as a WASP,” Simmons’ father John said. “My first question was: How will this affect her chances of getting into a good university to find a husband?” “It was no surprise to me,” Simmons’ mother Jane said. “When I tan I go a nice olive colour. See, look at – Becky Simmons, honourary POC this!” Here she held her distinctly pink arm up to the suggestions, I’ll know really good holelight. in-the-wall ones. I’m also going to start “People always ask me where I’m from watching foreign films and telling people during the summer,” she said with great they’re the only films that really matter, satisfaction. “Maybe from somewhere in even though I only speak English and can’t the Mediterranean? Or Italy?” understand them. This tan will really only What’s next on the agenda for last for a couple more months, so I’m really Simmons? going to have to milk it for all it’s worth. “Well, it’s time to live the life I’ve Just really enjoy my time.” always known I deserve,” she told local press. “When people ask me for restaurant
I got a tan and I’m sooo dark now"
issue 28// vol 45
humour // no. 17
Every single mom confused about popular franchises ››‘What is a star war? Do the stars fight?’ ask mothers everywhere Isabelle Orr Entertainment Editor
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illions of moms worldwide are planning to make their voices heard next Sunday about confusing franchises that are sweeping the nation. “We’re here and we’re taking a stand about how confusing everything has been lately,” Kathy Hopper, mother of three, told Other Press reporters. “How are we supposed to keep up with pop culture while also being mothers and caregivers to our children?” Moms had an especially tough go this year when subjected to the final season of Game of Thrones and the finale of the Avengers films. “How is Game of Thrones still going? Was that the show where the brother and sister were having ‘relations?’ I banned
that in our household,” Rebecca Schifter, mother of two children and three dogs, told reporters. “I really like that Chris Pratt, though,” Schifter added. Why do mothers find it so hard to keep up with pop culture? Other Press reporters spoke to Lynne Redford, neurologist, for the inside scoop. “As soon as someone becomes a mother, they access a part of their brain known as the ‘mother quadrant,’” Redford said. “It’s the same part of the brain used in the Ferber Method, where mothers have to ignore their child's cries so they don’t become codependent. This quadrant flares up when confronted with information that is deemed ‘non-crucial,’ and instead of hearing about who will eventually take the Iron Throne, they hear adult contemporary music such as Elton John or Corey Hart. I have no children myself and am very
Three worst places to find a summer fling ››Keep looking, you ugly loser! Isabelle Orr Entertainment Editor
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ove is in the air… but everyone who is conventionally attractive and mentally stable has already found a partner. That’s right, dear reader. You’re left to forage through scraps and find someone with enough to cobble together to make a codependent relationship that will ultimately fail once the weather turns bad. However, should that keep you from finding a summer fling? Absolutely not! 100 percent of scientists agree that 97 percent of people are horned up during the summer months. That’s why you should get it while the going’s good! Don’t know where to look? Me neither! But I DO know where you shouldn’t look—so feast your dun, misshapen eyes on my list! Farmers market Do you honestly think you’ll find your meet-cute over a pile of organic zucchini? Think again! Though it might sound dreamy to think of a prospective partner’s hand grazing yours over a wicker basket of heirloom tomatoes, a study conducted by me and me alone found that every single person in a farmers market at any given time has been in a relationship for 17 years. If you’re whole-heartedly at a farmers market with a reusable tote bag and an artfully distressed jean jacket, you’re normal enough to trick someone into dating you. The two of you probably enjoy other normal, wholesome activities such as walking the seawall, taking each other’s parents out for high tea, and missionary sex. Feel like testing my theory? Go ahead! Head to a market and lock eyes with a cutie—I guarantee their partner has stopped behind a pile of artisan honey to chat with a stall owner.
Ice cream parlour Though the idea of meeting someone while buying an extremely sensual food item might sound nice, think of the implications of having to eat a phallic, dairy-based dessert in public. To begin, every ice cream parlour somehow has three minor league baseball teams in them at any given time. Secondly, have you ever eaten an ice cream cone with any manner of decorum or class? Imagine the horrors of trying to eat a chocolate ice cream cone! No quantity of napkins can save you from that gross ring around the corner of your lips. Also, everybody knows only the hottest, meanest high school girls are given the job of ice cream scooper. One scathing look from a 16-year-old who looks like an Instagram model and you remember how dairy gives you cystic acne and that you’ll probably be alone forever. Nude beach Cut out the middleman, am I right? “A nude beach sounds like a great idea to scope out some hotties,” you think to yourself. What better way to find other like-minded individuals who live a carefree lifestyle? And at the very least, you’ll see some hot bods! WRONG. During my six-hour stay at Wreck Beach I saw more sad testicles than I’ve ever seen in my adult life, and I went to Shambala last summer. All the hot people are actually allowed to go to a private, sectioned-off corner of the beach where they can all frolic unencumbered by the likes of me. All others are forced to look at someone who greatly resembles their grandpa Doug wearing, oddly enough, socks, a cowboy hat, and nothing else. Just like grandpa Doug used to do!
excited to see Endgame.” Keeping this in mind, it’s no surprise that mothers around the globe are revolting against the current state of affairs. “Just because we don’t know who Thanos is doesn’t mean that we’re dumb,” Hopper said. “You sure didn’t think I was dumb when I was changing your sheets at 1 am because you wet the bed until you were eight.” “I tried watching some of the Avengers movies, but there were just too many characters to keep straight,” Schifter said. “I’m supposed to memorize them all, but you can’t even remember my birthday?” Is there any hope for reconciliation between franchise superfans and their worried mothers? “Maybe it’ll be okay,” Hopper said.
“Mother’s Day is coming up, after all. Instead of all this space violence and oldtimey talking, we could take a nice walk in the park, or have lunch at that new tapas place down the street. And then, if you still feel like watching something, why don’t we put on a nice Julia Roberts movie? How about Notting Hill? You used to love Notting Hill.” During the time of interviews, fathers were unable to comment as they were reading their dog-eared copies of Patrick O’Brian’s Master and Commander for the 63rd time in the garage while drinking a lukewarm beer.
Summer trend alert: Mild alcoholism ››‘It’s not really day drinking if the days are just really long’
Isabelle Orr Entertainment Editor
2018
was a wild year for popular trends, with TikTok, minimalism, kombucha, and the leopardprint midi skirt taking the world by storm. “Trends are spreading faster than ever, thanks to accessible forms of social media such as Instagram and Twitter,” Trend Forecaster Suzie Bellingham told Other Press reporters at a press conference last Tuesday. “With posts going viral every single week, it’s hard to keep track of what’s in and what’s out.” Not wanting to be caught unawares, reporters asked Bellingham what she thought the biggest trend would be for summer 2019. “That’s easy,” Bellingham said. “The biggest and boldest social movement this summer will be a steep upward incline of mild alcoholism and alcohol dependency.” Bellingham isn’t wrong. In fact, at least 89 percent of young adults from the ages of 19 to 25 have gotten crazy blasted in the past four weeks. “We’re seeing people getting absolutely crunk as hell on Wednesday, Tuesday nights. Even as early as two in the afternoon.” Bellingham said. “We’re talking straight wrecked.” What is it about the summer that makes people reach for the bottle? “Nothing beats the heat like an ice-cold beer,” Bellingham said. “And sometimes when the city is hot and there’s nothing else going on, you just gotta crack a cold one with the boys.” But is summer really the best time to start drinking as a hobby? According to the most indisputable science and questionable social norms, it is, said
Bellingham. “When you look at other seasons, such as the fall or even Christmastime, drinking alone is seen as sad or a symptom of something more nefarious, like depression or non-mild alcoholism,” Bellingham said. “Picture this: A man drinks alone on Christmas day, staring at a withered old tree on the street. Now picture this: A man drinks alone on a beautiful summer day, staring at a beautiful, luscious cherry blossom tree. Which seems more socially appropriate?” Other Press reporters talked to local youngsters to get the inside scoop. “Everyone has had those kinds of evenings, you know the ones,” skateboard ruffian Julian Saunders told reporters. “It’s 25 degrees, 4 pm, and the air just feels really heavy. You can hear the bees buzzing and everything, real serene and beautiful. What other way is there to celebrate Mother Nature’s glory than drinking a 40 and throwing up on a public sidewalk?” “Me and my girls love going for pitchers of sangria,” Jennifer Hewitt, Cactus Club server, told local press. “But we make sure to only drink to commemorate big life events to keep our calories down. In the past week we’ve gone out to celebrate Natalia getting engaged, Jade’s cat’s successful surgery, Emma’s work promotion, and Natalia’s broken engagement. Only the best for my girls!” But is this alcohol dependence sustainable? “No,” said Bellingham as she chugged a bottle of red wine. “That’s why we, as a nation, have to go as hard as humanly possible during the three months of summer we have. During the winter we can switch back to smoking weed. Hey, does anybody want to do a shot?”
Creative Works Adventurous pioneers Morgan Hannah Life & Style Editor we are those who like to kick up dust behind us we are those who like to run, not walk for us there is only one wish, to be Adventurous Pioneers for joy, for calm, and peace we are those who like to feel mud between our toes we are those who brush our hair with the wind for us there is only one way of life, to be Adventurous Pioneers for energy, for lust, and senses we are those whose minds babble like brooks we are those who are free we are those who find ourselves at the end
May... Roshni Riar Staff Writer May you remember where you came from. May brings the summer semester, are you taking any classes? May means jeans and a T-shirt. Sweater optional. May I use the washroom? I don’t know, can you? May transitions to June transitions to sticky summer skin. May-onnaise is disgusting. May mother come home safely. May-be she should carry pepper spray for her walk. May-flower brought new hope, hatred, and horror. Mae West once said, “Too much of a good thing can be taxing.” Ma-zes are meant for children who don’t mind feeling lost. May you find a reason to keep going. May you feel confident in your future endeavours. May-be that reads like a shitty greeting card. May-be it’s Maybelline. May I finish this poem with a bang. May-hem is all around us. May-day! May-day!
Comics & Puzzles Monthly crossword: May! By Caroline Ho, Assistant Editor
Weekly crossword: May!
1
Caroline Ho Assistant Editor
71. Singular 72. Levy 73. Eagle's nest Down 1. Non-profit medical institution based in Minnesota 2. Abbr. common in buffets 3. Confidentiality contract (abbr.) 4. Biblical mother of Isaac 5. Hole for threading 6. Häagen __ 7. Frozen water 8. Corruptible 9. Move one's wings 10. British noble 11. Stopped sleeping 12. Barack's daughter 15. Beaver-built structures 20. Ship to the New World in 1620 22. Relating to a municipal leader 24. Droop 25. Dealt out 27. Musician James Keenan of Tool 29. Nada 31. Cosmetics company 32. Cuban Revolution figure 33. Canberra's country (abbr.) 35. Prefix meaning "straight" 38. Non-amateur 39. Belonging to us 41. Exclamation of surprise 46. Compressed file format 49. Earnings 52. Robbery 54. Treatise 56. Greasers' rivals 57. "That's gross." 58. Prefix meaning "blood" 59. Muscat's country 60. Impolite 61. Peak 62. Not faux 65. __ culpa 67. Germanic war god
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Weekly crossword: The end By Caroline Ho, Assistant Editor
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Eliminate Interest on Student Loans Canadians with student loans pay, on average, $5,000 in student loan interest. The federal government can act now to eliminate interest on student loans.
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