The Other Press - September 20

BC’s marginalized populations to recieve royal attention T

he upcoming royal visit to BC and the Yukon is one that is hard to find fault with.

As a Canadian who doesn’t care too much about royal goingson, I didn’t expect too much from a visit such as this, but their itinerary has made me take notice. When I think of a royal tour, I expect an easy and pleasant trip, perhaps with some ribbon cuttings and parades thrown in.

This trip—which is 8 days with an apparently lazy 30 events—will bring them from Victoria, to Vancouver and the Downtown Eastside, Bella Bella, Kelowna, Whitehorse, Carcross, Haida Gwaii, and back to Victoria. They’ll spend much

of that time engaging with local charities and spending time in aboriginal communities.

The charities that they’re focusing on are ones that share a theme with those Kate spends much of her time promoting. On September 28, they will be at the Sheway charity for mothers who are suffering from addiction, and will visit the Immigration Services Society of BC later that day. In Victoria, they’ll be meeting and spending time with members of the Kelty Mental Health Resources Centre. These are very important things to focus on, and since the royals receive so much publicity no matter what they do, they are the perfect people

to bring the public’s attention to issues affecting Vancouver specifically. Issues like drug addiction and mental health affect people from all communities, and it is unfortunately very easy for many to ignore them. Having the royals focus on those issues in our cities, instead of on a more general scale, will hopefully bring much closer attention from those in the Lower Mainland.

Their tour itinerary also focuses heavily on BC and the Yukon’s aboriginal populations. In Bella Bella, they will be welcomed to the Heiltsuk First Nation with a traditional ceremony. In Whitehorse, they will tour the Kwanlen Dün Cultural Centre,

Davie Wong Sports Editor  sports@theotherpress.ca Lauren Kelly Editor-in-Chief  editor@theotherpress.ca

Chitwan Khosla Features Editor  features@theotherpress.ca

Chandler Walter Assistant Editor  assistant@theotherpress.ca

Brittney MacDonald Life & Style Editor  lifeandstyle@theotherpress.ca

Mercedes Deutscher News Editor  news@theotherpress.ca

Cazzy Lewchuk Opinions Editor  opinions@theotherpress.ca

Adam Tatelman Arts Editor - NOW HIRING!  arts@theotherpress.ca

Rebecca Peterson Humour Editor  humour@theotherpress.ca

Angela Ho Business Manager

Ed Appleby Illustrator

David Manky Senior Columnists

Jacey Gibb Distribution Manager

Jony Roy Social Media Coordinator

Cheryl Minns Columnist

Cara Seccafien Layout Manager

Aaron Guillen Staff Reporter

Anthony Labonte

Joel McCarthy Graphics Manager

Jamal Al-Bayaa Staff Writer

Contributor

Elizabeth Jacob Production Assistant

Jerrison Oracion

Lauren Paulsen

Ritu Guglani

and in Carcross receive another traditional welcome and spend time in the small aboriginal community. They’re spending a full day in Haida Gwaii as well, attending a ceremony at the Haida Heritage Centre and Museum.

In each spot, they are spending time taking in nature by touring on mountain bikes, canoes, and boats. By taking the time to actually see and experience so much of the west coast, William and Kate are showing that they actually care about our provinces, our diversity, and our history.

Even those of us who don’t follow to royals should be grateful to them. They’re using their spotlight to bring focus to

Rm 1020 – 700 Royal Ave. Douglas College New Westminster, BC V3L 5B2  604.525.3542

Image via huffingtonpost

Lettitor

members of our society who need it, and to provide visibility to our aboriginal populations. Their tour should be very interesting and fun for them, as well, because on top of their stops, British Columbia and the Yukon are both absolutely beautiful. The only mistake they made when planning the trip is not bringing their Prince George to Prince George.

 theotherpress.ca  editor@theotherpress.ca    /theotherpress /DouglasOtherPress

OO The Other Press has been Douglas College’s student newspaper since 1976. Since 1978 we have been an autonomous publication, independent of the student union. We are a registered society under the Society Act of British Columbia, governed by an eight-person board of directors appointed by our staff. Our head office is located in the New Westminster campus.

OO The Other Press is published weekly during the fall and winter semesters, and monthly during the summer.

We receive our funding from a student levy collected through tutition fees every semester at registration, and from local and national advertising revenue. The Other Press is a member of the Canadian University Press (CUP), a syndicate of student newspapers that includes papers from all across Canada.

OO The Other Press reserves the right to choose what we will publish, and we will not publish material that is hateful, obscene, or condones or promotes illegal activities. Submissions may be edited for clarity and brevity if necessary. All images used are copyright to their respective owners.

News

Have an idea for a story?  news@theotherpress.ca

OO Alberta to raise minimum wage to $15 per hour OO Influx of bears visiting Coquitlam OO Spotlight: Dance your heart out And more!

Rapidly approaching the next station ööEvergreen Line set for early opening Mercedes Deutscher News Editor ransit users in Coquitlam are getting an early Christmas present this year, as TransLink announced on September 8 that the Evergreen Line will now be open before Christmas, instead of the previously projected opening for Spring 2017.

The Evergreen Line has experienced a lot of delays in its construction. Originally set for a Summer 2016 opening, problems that arose during the construction phases—such as sinkholes and tunnel boring— delayed the opening to Fall 2016, and then to Spring 2017.

However, Transportation Minister Todd Stone said in a news release that the project was now 90 per cent complete.

While the exact date of the opening has yet to be announced, TransLink is already rolling out new information about how the line will affect the transit network. Evergreen Line will operate beyond Lougheed–Town Centre station in Burnaby, through Burquitlam and Port Moody, to its terminus station of

Image via www.cknw.com

T

Lafarge Lake-Douglas, located near the David Lam campus. As a result, the 97 B-Line will cease its operation, and its buses will be sent to service other areas around Metro Vancouver.

The opening of the Evergreen Line will also change the boundaries of both the Expo and Millennium Lines.

The Millennium Line will no longer operate from Waterfront.

Instead, it will operate between VCC–Clark and Lougheed– Town Centre. As a result of this change, the Expo Line will now have two terminus stations— its original terminus at King George, but a new terminus at Production Way–University.

Dual service will run between Production Way–University and Lougheed Town Centre.

When the Evergreen Line

opens, Metro Vancouver will be host to the longest automated rapid-transit system in the world.

“This milestone achievement is to be celebrated not only for the transportation needs it meets, but also for providing the necessary support to enable the growth of affordable, interconnected, and sustainable communities in the region,” said Peter Fassbender, Minister of

Community Sport and Cultural Development, in a press release.

The opening of the Evergreen Line will have a major impact on those living in Coquitlam and beyond.

“This vital public transportation improvement project will make the City of Coquitlam a more inclusive and sustainable city. It is thanks to projects like the one being celebrated today that Canadian communities will remain among the best places in the world to live, work, and raise a family,” expressed Minister of Infrastructure and Communities Amarjeet Sohi in a press release.

For one, the line will make Douglas College more accessible than ever before, and will make it easier for students to take classes at both campuses.

As well, more people can be expected to leave their cars at home and opt to take transit instead. Along with announcing a closer opening, the provincial government announced that it would be investing an addition $5 million towards more parking spaces around the new stations, mainly at Lafarge Lake-Douglas.

Health and wellness over house and home?

Aaron Guillen Staff Reporter

I

magine having to decide between your health and your home. Shaun Balint, a Burnaby resident, has come face-to-face with this tough decision. Over the past year, Balint dropped from 275 to 131 pounds—due to severe allergies, according to dieticians. In a mysterious turn of events, doctors couldn’t figure out what was the issue, only hypothesizing that he had a growing allergic reaction list. Now, with dwindling food options, Balint has turned to protein bars, as recommended by dieticians.

“His current diet of only protein bars and shakes has been around six months,” commented Laura Balint, Shaun’s wife.

“Before that, he wasn’t eating much at all. He has slowly taken types of foods out one by one. For example, one day, he

can eat beef, then the next day his face and throat will swell up after two bites. I believe [the protein supplements] will sustain his current poor health but to improve he needs more [than his current situation]. Until we find a meal replacement we will take this option. Our fear is that one day he will react to the protein bars.”

According to CBC News, the Balints have already received one eviction notice after failing to pay last month’s rent—and a future that includes a roof over their heads doesn’t look too bright with Laura missing shifts to aid her ill husband.

“The emotional journey has been just as hard—if not harder—than the physical journey,” Laura admitted.

“Trying to get funding for the supplements needed just to survive is very stressful. The decision every month to pay rent or buy his supplements makes

me sick. I could not imagine saying no to the supplements, but I also couldn’t imagine making the decision to not have a home. I know he feels very alone sometimes because the government and the doctors have basically left him to die.”

With doctors unable to provide any conclusive answers, the couple hopes to find solutions with a Naturopathic Doctor (ND). With Shaun’s health on the line and their home teetering on an eviction notice, Laura has turned to the community—and they have responded.

“Since the first story came out the community has been very generous,” Laura shared.

“We have gotten a large donation of shakes from the maker of Magnum Quattro.

Popeye’s Burnaby and Coquitlam have donated cases of bars and fish oils. We have also started a Go Fund Me page, ‘Shaun’s Food Supplement Help,’ where the

Shaun Balint via globalnews.ca

ööFormer bodybuilder struggles to pay for rent and supplements

community has been generously donating. We are very grateful for all that has been donated, but the unfortunate part is that what we have raised will only last a couple of months—then we will be back to where we started. We would appreciate any donations that would help us have more time to come up with a solution to his health or to the financial

problems that it creates. If donations are not possible, we are also looking for pressure on the government to make changes to policies that would allow a caseby-case flexibility policy. It costs $1,500 each day to have Shaun in the hospital, but only $900 a month for his supplements.

Things need to change.”

theotherpress.ca

news // no. 4

Public forum on pipeline and energy strategy at SFU held by Terry Beech ööOver 250 citizens voice their concerns in Burnaby over Trans Mountain Pipeline Kevin Rey The Peak acts show the project should be rejected.” So said economist Robyn Allan of the Trans Mountain Pipeline expansion project on September 7 at SFU’s Diamond Alumni Centre. She made the statement at a public forum organized by Burnaby North-Seymour MP Terry Beech, the most recent in a series that began in July. Allan and a panel of experts from pipeline-related fields spoke to the over 250 citizens who came to voice their concerns about the pipeline expansion.

During the introduction to the event, Beech made it clear to the attendees that the experts were invited in response to public feedback from previous events, and that their presentations were not vetted by any approval process.

Allan appeared to take full advantage of the freedom, explaining emphatically to cheers and applause that not only the pipeline, but the pipeline approval process was flawed. She questioned the arguments supporting the pipeline’s construction, accusing the National Energy Board (NEB) of “betraying” Canada by recommending conditional

Photo by Kevin Rey

“F

approval of the project on May 19.

The Trans Mountain Pipeline transports oil from Edmonton to Burnaby, and the proposed expansion would triple its capacity. During the NEB hearings, many environmental and community groups criticized the project for posing a risk to the environment and public safety, and tabling aboriginal rights.

There was also criticism of the NEB itself, which reportedly did not consider some environmental impacts in its assessment, and had a former oil industry consultant appointed to its ranks by the Harper government.

A common argument against

the pipeline is that a catastrophic oil leak or spill would cause billions of dollars in damage to British Columbia’s economy, impacting fisheries, tourism, and local water supplies.

Michael Lowry of West Coast Marine Response Corporation explained that there are many resources in place to rapidly combat an oil spill, but critics insist that the measures are insufficient. The local environmental group Stand argued in a media statement that “the best way to prevent oil spills is not to increase tanker traffic.”

The NEB report on its decision explains that $1.3 billion has been set aside by various oil

companies and international bodies, but a UBC study said that Vancouver alone could lose up to $1.2 billion in the event of a spill.

There was also some controversy during the forum about whether spill responders could clean up the diluted bitumen in the same way as conventional oil.

Another recurring theme of the evening was the sentiment that the Liberal government has already struck a very different tone from its predecessor since its election in October 2015.

Canada-Asia expert and UBC professor Paul Evans explained that “[former prime minister] Joe Clark often talks about our new Liberal government

[...] as, he’s never known a government that has tried to do more things more quickly and with more consultations.”

Beech was also praised widely by MPs Joyce Murray (Vancouver Quadra), Joe Peschisolido (Steveston–Richmond East), and audience members for organizing the public events.

However, attendees voiced concerns throughout the evening that the Trudeau government’s approach to the environment and energy seemed to be out of sync. “I don’t think we yet have an energy strategy,” Evans said, explaining that Canada’s relationship with China is currently undergoing rapid change. The capacity increase to the pipeline has been marketed as a way for Canada to sell more oil to the Asian superpower.

This past August, in Montreal, protesters marched into the NEB meeting room for the Energy East Pipeline that would carry tar sands oil from Alberta to New Brunswick. Two NEB meetings were cancelled in response.

During the response period, some members of the audience expressed that same defiant attitude, with one explaining that the government could choose to not approve the project in December, or things would have to be done “the hard way.”

Alberta to raise minimum wage to $15 per hour

ööThe Fight for 15 in both of Canada’s western provinces Jamal Al-Bayaa Staff Writer he Alberta NDP is on its way to achieving their goal of a $15 minimum wage. The decision comes amidst times of crisis in the province, with the Albertan economy devastated by a crash in the oil and gas industries. Employment is at a record low. This month, Alberta’s unemployment rate is at 8.4 per cent—up from 6.1 per cent last year—making it the highest it’s been in 30 years.

One reason the minimum wage increases taking place in Alberta have been controversial is the possibility of further unemployment.

During a period of explosive job growth in Seattle, the city implemented a minimum wage hike of 10 per cent and still grew between the day of implementation and today.

However, according to the report on the policy, minimum wage

Image via www.metronews.ca

T

increases were responsible for a one per cent reduction in employment growth. If Seattle was in economic standstill— or deficit, like Alberta—then that one per cent drop would have been a one per cent increase in unemployment.

Long term invalidity as an economic strategy is the second controversy surrounding Alberta’s minimum wage hike. Products are priced at the rate that people

are willing or able to pay, rather than desired or past prices.

Changing income levels simply doesn’t guarantee that product price won’t increase in response. The $15 wage is largely based on the morality of poverty, and yet many argue it does a poor job of making various social services more accessible to the low wage worker, on top of doing nothing for the thousands of Albertans collecting

employment insurance.

However, the strategy can be beneficial, as it could improve the standing of the province as a whole, although exactly how is uncertain. For those who do get wage increases, quality of life will likely increase, at least for a fixed period of time. Although a wage hike doesn’t address the problems presented by the oil crisis, it would be one step closer to a solution on poverty as a whole, especially if followed by an increased availability of necessary goods and social services.

During the 2017 BC provincial election, the BC NDP will also be calling for action in regards to a minimum wage hike, appealing to that 83 per cent who believe that being in poverty while working a full time position shouldn’t happen.

Also supporting the idea of a $15 minimum wage will be the BC Federation of Students (BCFS).

Simka Marshall, chairperson of the organization, was excited

to hear that the province was implementing that kind of plan. It aligns with her own organization’s goal of increasing the availability and affordability of education for BC students.

“It’s good to see the [Alberta] government putting an end to poverty wages. We’re hoping that the BC government will see that and do the same,” said Marshall.

During the provincial election, the BC Liberals will be continuing their minimum wage plan, increasing it to $11.75.

Green Party Leader Andrew Weaver has chastised both the BC Liberals and the BC NDP for their positions on the minimum wage and poverty issue. Weaver said that while the small increase in wage proposed by the Liberals is too low, the NDP’s $15 strategy is more of a talking point than a plan.

“How do you know $15 an hour is the right minimum wage?” Weaver said. “It’s just a number that’s round.”

news // no. 5

Image via thinkstcok

issue 2 // volume 43

Influx of bears visiting Coquitlam ööIncrease in bears leaves many concerned

Mercedes Deutscher News Editor

R

esidents in Coquitlam and Port Coquitlam have been getting increased visits from furry predators.

While most encounters with the bears have been from a distance and without incident, some have undoubtedly caused fear in residents. Back in August, a 10-year-old girl was mauled and left in critical condition by a black bear in Port Coquitlam.

The bear was with her cub, and was later destroyed.

“We want to make sure that we keep bears wild, and we don’t

let them get too comfortable in our communities,” conservation officer Murray Smith told CBC. Aside from Coquitlam and Port Coquitlam being near bear habitats, garbage cans and green bins are attracting bears into neighbourhoods. Both municipalities are using bylaws to try to curb the bear problem.

In Coquitlam, garbage’s may only be put out after 5:30 a.m. on garbage day, and need to be collected again by 7 p.m. Anyone who violates this bylaw can be subject to a $500 fine. In Port Coquitlam, residents must use a bear resistant garbage can, or place a bear resistant lock on it.

Yet even by delaying the time that residents put out garbage, and what container they put the garbage out in, some residents have still had some close calls. Alexandra Verano-Bibby described a close encounter she had with a bear to CBC. Verano-Bibby, along with her young son, was disposing of some green bin items in her yard when she encountered a bear. Despite trying to scare the bear away, it started to approach the garbage can. VeranoBibby and her son carefully evacuated their backyard, and watched the bear ransack the garbage from the patio.

She told CBC that she sees two or three bears come into her yard, which borders Hyde Creek, weekly, although making loud noises will usually deter them.

After the last encounter, VeranoBibby is convinced that the bearproof bins aren’t doing enough.

Verano-Bibby told CBC: “He’s still out there somewhere, and he likes your garbage, and if he wants to get into your green waste bin, he will.

Those locks aren’t enough.”

Janet Klopp, a long-time resident

of Coquitlam who is used to encountering bears, wrote the Tri-City News to give advice to those uncertain of what to do should they encounter a bear.

Klopp said to exercise caution, and not to underestimate the intelligence of a bear, equating it with an 11-yearold human and saying that the bears can easily figure out how to disarm traps. Bears who are rummaging through human garbage are often starving.

Those who encounter a bear are warned to try to avoid surprising the bear, and to calmly and slowly back away.

Spotlight: Dance your heart out ööDSU Hip Hop Club draws members of all ages

he lives of many Douglas students are packed with club meetings, studying for tests, making room for a social life, and on top of all that, back-toback courses. For many, grades take control of their lives. For others, extracurricular activities consume their every moment.

In the meantime, what are many students forgetting to do?

Exercise. In order to maintain their health, a person should get at least 30 minutes of physical activity every day.

MJ Estores, the President of the DSU Hip Hop Club (DHHC), hopes that students would consider releasing all that stress with a fun, engaging, and welcoming dance session.

Estores has held her passion for dance ever since she graduated from high school in 2010. From the moment she attended her first meeting, she knew that the Hip Hop Club was her new home.

Kwantlen, etc. We have members of all ages and all backgrounds!”

Estores believes that the club is an important place for students to improve their skills and hopes that it will influence their lives in a positive way.

Manisha Virk, a member of the executive team, loves the safe space that the club provides.

“DHHC is important to me because it’s a place where I can go after a long day to just be myself and do what I love and do what makes me happy,” Virk commented.

“The club is filled with friendly people, positive energy, talent, and encouragement from everyone.

It’s an amazing place to grow and develop in dance whether you’re just starting out or you’ve been doing it for years! Without this club I don’t know wherWe I’d be today. I wouldn’t be as confident as I am now and I

wouldn’t have made so many new friends.

They’ve given me nothing but the best.”

During the Fall and Winter, the DHHC has classes every Thursday night in the Movement Studio (Room 1313) where a new choreographer comes and shares their knowledge and love for hip

hop. In the summer, they have Tuesday and Thursday nights where foundations from locking, breakdancing, krump, etc. are taught as well as urban choreography, ranging all levels.

Estores says that she stays in the DHHC because of her passion for dance. She loves the atmosphere that has evolved before her eyes.

“The DSU Hip Hop Club is not just a club to me anymore, it’s my family,” Estores shared.

“I continue to stay because this club keeps me sane. Dance is an outlet of expression that everyone uses...

I stay because knowing that I can make a difference in someone’s day, even if it’s for a couple hours, makes me feel like I’ve given back to the community the same way it has given me a home.” sto ck

T

“Everyone in the club shares their love for music and dance with each other. We show our support by cheering each other on, and we only strive in making sure everyone is having fun.

Whether it be the dance, school, or general community, the club has grown to become one of the safest environments for anyone to feel welcome in learning about Hip Hop.” Formerly as shy as she was new, she climbed the ranks and now leads the club to new heights as its current president.

“I would describe my involvement with the club 24/7,” Estores explained. “I used to be the shy new kid in the club sitting at the back, and now I’m the president encouraging everyone to be themselves—no pressure and no rush. When you join the DSU Hip Hop Club, you are already part of the family!”

“To this date, the club continues with much success bringing students from high school to other universities and colleges like UBC, SFU,

Image via think

Aaron Guillen Staff Reporter

Arts

Have an idea for a story?  arts@theotherpress.ca

OO Verse versus volition OO The woeful saga of Deathface Ginny OO Outrage roulette And more!

480 Seconds that changed everything öö‘Sully’ film review

Photo via Keith Bernstein/Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

Jerrison Oracion Senior Columnist

O

n January 15, 2009, US Airways Flight 1549 was en route from New York City to Charlotte. Captain Chesley Sullenberger (Sully) and First Officer Jeffrey Skiles were piloting the plane, feeling that their journey would be an easy one.

That is, until a bird flew inside the plane’s engine and caused it to collapse. With only a few minutes to figure out where to land the plane, Sullenberger did the unthinkable by landing it in the Hudson River and saving everyone on board.

This is the story of Sullenberger (Tom Hanks) and Skiles (Aaron Eckhart) enduring questioning by the NTSB about

how they handled the situation.

Sullenberger questions whether or not he is a hero, and how

the media attention of the Miracle on the Hudson would affect him and his family. Sully

to put an IMAX camera in a plane to film the interior scenes, considering there is not a lot of space in a plane for shooting.

Like most of Clint Eastwood’s films, the score of the film has lots of jazz music, including ironic lounge music during the scene in which the plane is in the Hudson River. The theme song is also made by Clint Eastwood.

Stay during the credits to see the real Chesley Sullenberger, Jeffrey Skiles, the rest of the crew, and the passengers of US Airways Flight 1549 give their thoughts on the Miracle on the Hudson, and give thanks to Sullenberger for saving their lives because there were no other ways to land the plane, Sullenberger did the right thing by landing the plane in the Hudson River. There is no question that he is a hero, as he saved the lives of everyone that was on the plane on that day.

explores the events that lead to the reasons why Sullenberger landed the plane in the Hudson River, and we also learn more about him as a character from his experiences in flight.

Throughout the film, we see different angles of the situation, allowing the audience to investigate what caused Sullenberger to land the plane in the river. It comes full circle when we see the flight recordings, brilliantly reenacted

by Hanks and Eckhart. The film has detailed explanations of how they handled the situation and what happens when an emergency occurs on a plane.

The film is almost entirely filmed in IMAX, which is one of the reasons to see it in theaters. It has very sharp and colourful images, and you can see every detail in Tom Hanks’ face. It is very interesting that Clint Eastwood was even able

The legend, live öö‘Legend of Zelda’ concert visits Vancouver Adam Tatelman Arts Editor or many millennials and 20-somethings currently attending Douglas College, Nintendo’s gaming library has been a big part of our collective childhoods. Few can forget the rush of a competitive after-school bout of Mario Kart, the joy of finally achieving every gold medal in Star Fox 64, or the thrill of Link’s eternal clash with the evil Ganon in The Legend of Zelda. Yet without their catchy tunes and sumptuous soundtracks, these games wouldn’t be remembered half as fondly as they are.

The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses has been freshly renewed for a third season, entitled Master Quest.

The concert will be playing in Vancouver’s famous Queen Elizabeth Theatre on September 23. Surely the impending release of the series’ latest instalment, Breath of the Wild, is no accident.

It may seem a curious idea at first; what’s a game’s soundtrack without the game, after all? But the Legend of Zelda series has always had a thematic undertone relating to the—sometimes literal—magic

Image via Jason Michael Paul Productions

F

of music. The songs themselves have endured for two and a half decades, revamped and reimagined with each passing sequel, much like the cast of the games themselves. Considering Nintendo’s skill at milking gamer nostalgia for brand loyalty,

it’d be more surprising if they didn’t try to break into the world of live entertainment.

The concert will feature songs by Nintendo’s famous composer Koji Kondo, arranged

by Chad Seiter, whose previous work includes Hollywood-

caliber productions such as Star Trek (2009), and popular television shows like Lost and Fringe. His wife, Susie Seiter, is the conductor, having worked previously on similar musical features like Pirates of the Caribbean Live.

The orchestra includes a full assortment of brass, string, percussion, and woodwind instruments, as well as a choir company to help capture the series’ most operatic songs.

This orchestra will play live in front of a large screen displaying iconic moments from the games themselves, usually associated with the songs on the program.

The program is split into two acts and an encore, beginning with a main theme medley combining elements from many variations on the series’ iconic main theme. The first act consists of fan-favourite songs culled from series alumni like The Ocarina of Time, A Link Between Worlds, and The Wind Waker.

Act two and the encore feature music from more recent entries, such as Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword, finally rounding out the retrospective with an arrangement of songs from Majora’s Mask. So, no matter which game is your favourite, you’re sure to hear a few of its emblematic tunes.

If you want to relive your fantastic journey as the Hero of Hyrule through the power of song, visit www.zeldasymphony.com for tickets.

arts // no. 7

issue 2 // volume 43

Verse versus volition ööThe importance of form in the arts Adam Tatelman Arts Editor istorians look to the Greeks for information on the customs of the ancient world because it is the oldest European society we have fairly comprehensive records of. As a result, much of western artistic tradition can be traced to Greek forms, especially when it comes to theatre, sculpture, poetry, and writing in general. In stark contrast to the modern artistic obsession with ambiguity, interpretation, and formlessness, the Greeks more concerned themselves with technique, measuring the art in question by its structural quality.

It was Aristotle who proposed that good theatre should follow a three-act structure, and should adhere to three unities: time, place, and action. That is, the story should

Image via thinkstock

H

take place in one setting, within a 24-hour timeline, and focus on a single plot with no distractions.

Obviously, the unities have been rendered outdated by the advent of achronological storytelling and film editing technologies. But even in modern film, the threeact structure is still employed.

Of course, various forms of theatre make use of one- and two-act structures, subplots, and location changes for dramatic effect; this is the result of expanding the definition of structure. So, instead of a handful of scholars writing plays in the accepted format, others may

do so in different formats with fewer restrictions. Some view this as the democratization of a classically elitist art form. I would agree. But where this idea goes wrong is when it conflates elitism with the form itself.

Criticism was also an important aspect of Greek arts, much as it is today. Plays were evaluated in competitions—like the Festival Dionysia—according to the strength of their writing, and their structural efficacy. Even though these structures have changed over time, suggesting that the mere presence of structure is tantamount to elitism in the arts is quite a bizarre stance to take.

Compare Shakespearean sonnet forms to modern freeverse poetry. Obviously, the former is bound to a structural principle, where the other is concerned only with images and impressions. Arguably, structure is useful in organizing

these images thematically. As I see it, the problem with freeverse poetry is that it is perhaps too easy to create. If the poet is justified in just noting down whatever springs to mind, in whatever order, and calling it art, then there is no way to evaluate the effort objectively, since there is no standard to compare it to.

In summary, the changing of structure is a good thing, as long as it is changed for a reason, and can always be clearly defined as a structure once changed.

However, change for change’s sake is masturbatory in nature, pleasing none but the one doing the changing. To argue that a lack of structure is preferable is failing to take into account that formlessness must be defined as an absence of form—that form must first be established before it can be discarded. In order to rebel, there must first be something to rebel against.

Flawed by Design: the language of Dark Souls 3 ööHow to get the most out of multiplayer Lauren Kelly Editor-in-Chief n Dark Souls, communication is essential. This is especially true in the newest installation, which allows up to six other players to enter your world and play with you. Some will be “white phantoms,” co-op players who can’t hurt you; others are “red phantoms,” who will often invade your world and try to kill you; and others fall somewhere between these two types.

In any multiplayer game, things can get confusing if you have no way to communicate your intentions or organize strategies. Although modern consoles often come with a microphone, anyone currently in your world can hear you, so you can’t strategize covertly. You can send private messages to other players, but in the middle of a game, this isn’t always an option.

Additionally, the game is set by default to show the character names of other players, not their gamer-tags, making messaging them guesswork at best.

This means that players have to adapt, and use the tools that they have at hand to create a new language. As you make your way through the game, gestures are obtained that allow you to perform an action. The basic ones are point up, down, and forward; beckon; wave; and bow. You can later learn different bows to show your allegiance, a

Image via Bandai Namco Entertainment

I

clap, various sitting positions, a “hey!” shout, and the everfamous Praise the Sun, among others. Another type of tool you collect along the way is a carving, which, when dropped, will say a phrase such as “I’m sorry,” “help me,” or “thank you.” These can be heard at a great distance.

Played traditionally, you and your white phantom buddies will strategically make your way through an area, killing enemies and any invaders in order to reach the end and fight the boss.

This is usually fairly cut-anddry, but it will still be necessary to communicate. Maybe a coop partner wishes to show you a secret area and points to it or calls you to their location.

Having killed your character, an invader may clap or bow during your death animation.

One such situation that breaks from the traditional progress-and-beat-the-game gameplay is fight clubs. These take place in wide-open arenalike spaces. Here, the host player summons any phantoms they can get, court invaders, and then everyone who respects the rules of a fight club will take turns fighting each other to the death one-on-one.

You would think it would be tough to organize something like this, but the multiplayer of these games has developed to the point that most people playing in these areas understand the unspoken rules of a fight club.

Fighters stay in the arena. They don’t heal. Others don’t enter the match, and definitely do not attack the fighters. Fighters don’t attack each other until

they both signal that they are ready to begin fighting. There is even a designated spectator area, from which the other players will watch the match and react with gestures.

Participating for even 10 minutes will be enough to understand the rules. You’ll see every other spectator stop the match to kill a healer, or someone who breaks into the fight. You’ll see the pre-fight rituals, which involve both players entering the ring, facing each other, performing any pre-game power-ups, and then bowing once they are ready.

Through their actions, you’ll learn the appropriate way to react to situations, and you’ll become a member of the community.

Usually, if you attacked a red phantom or vice-versa, it would be seen as an offence, and one of you would most likely end up dead. However, in a fight club, it is sometimes acceptable to attack each other for different ends. If someone has been spectating for awhile and won’t respond to you pointing to them as your next opponent, it is acceptable to go up and knock them into the ring. They’ll heal, and you’ll fight them.

There is one quick and odd way to de-escalate a situation if you accidentally attack someone—repeatedly and quickly raising your shield or weapon. This move would never take place in a match, and lets the other player know

that you don’t want to fight (yet). Shield-spamming can often be seen when a new player reaches the arena as well, as an “I mean no harm.”

Another merit of the multiplayer mode is how quickly it can warp into very odd experiences. If one player sees another doing something silly, or wearing something funny, they will sometimes copy them. This can quickly lead to all players present doing the same thing.

One multiplayer game I played devolved from a fight club into a bunch of people performing a torch dance towards any invaders, and then burning them to death if the invader attacked; another had everyone stow their weapons and run around punching each other.

Sure, these interactions don’t always last long, and they often accomplish nothing, but they are funny and spontaneous.

Although it seems like a straightforward game, the nature of Dark Souls 3 multiplayer means that anything can happen.

You can go from fighting to goofing around very quickly—or the reverse, if someone gets sick of goofing around—or you can just sit back for a few hours and play many one-on-one matches to improve your skills. And all of this organization happens naturally and wordlessly.

There is an endless amount of enjoyment to be found in this strange, strange game, once you learn its language.

theotherpress.ca

Image via Eidos Montreal/Square-Enix

arts // no. 8

Outrage roulette ööWhy Aug lives matter Adam Tatelman Arts Editor

S

ince Deus Ex: Mankind Divided has recently dropped, I thought it pertinent to discuss some of the nontroversy surrounding the game’s story and launch ads.

In the game’s fictional cyberpunk dystopia, people with cybernetic implants—Augs for short—are regarded with fear and mistrust, often forcibly segregated from other humans.

The creators have cited this as a metaphor for the suffering endured by all victims of apartheid; in one scene from the game, a group of Aug protesters

can be seen holding a sign which reads “Aug Lives Matter,” in reference to the real-world Black Lives Matter movement.

It should be impossible to derive any message from the content of the ad other than “segregation is bad,” and yet the mere presence of this phrase has thrown everyone from Forbes Magazine to Polygon into a massive tizzy, claiming that the ALM sign has somehow belittled or marginalized the actual BLM movement.

In an interview with CBC News, Manveer Heir, BioWare’s senior designer on the upcoming Mass Effect: Andromeda, was quick to criticize the

advertisements. “My problem is with using marketing to push a narrative,” Heir said, “which doesn’t provide the full context of the game, as a way to sell the game, when that narrative comes across as anti-blackness, even if it’s not intended to be.”

Aside from the fact that no minute-long trailer could possibly provide the context of the entire game, this criticism rings somewhat hollow when we consider that Heir is known for such open-minded, progressive Tweets as “No class required when killing white people,” or “I only accept the cut off ears of white men as payment.” Of course these are jokes, but that

doesn’t stop Heir’s argument from sounding a lot like “do as I say, not as I do.” If I, the Other Press’s resident white male shitlord, made such jokes about black people, would it be considered funny, or would it be treated as the odious nonsense that it is?

The purpose of science fiction—especially cyberpunk— is to create fictional allegories for contemporary social issues.

Characters like the X-Men, for instance, have stood in for various marginalized groups since their debut in the 1960s, a time of extreme social change. Their purpose is not to perfectly reflect reality. So, Eidos Montreal can hardly be said to

be “appropriating” BLM, but rather expressing sympathy for it. The fact that Heir, himself working on a science fiction game, cannot seem to grasp this concept is rather ironic.

By all means, criticize the game if its actual script handles the concept of apartheid tactlessly, but don’t judge it purely based on its advertisements, and don’t dismiss those who express sympathy for your cause merely because they haven’t done it in the approved vernacular. And if, like Heir, you wish to judge people according to the accident of their ancestry, then best of luck in reconciling your self-evident bias.

Chairman of the Board: Putting it all together Ed Appleby Illustrator

L

ike a patchwork quilt made out of baby soft blankets and old worn denim, you can make a game out of any subject matter.

Patchwork is a tile-placement puzzle game for two players designed by Uwe Rosenberg and published by Mayfair Games in 2014. In the game, a series of tiles are placed out on a table, and the players take turns purchasing shapes and placing them on their 9 x 9 board. The goal of the game is to create the highest scoring quilt, fitting pieces with the most buttons and highest value in the most consistent shape.

There is a lot of strategy to this deceptively simple game.

Balance has to be kept between buttons and the time value allotted to each piece, and only

three pieces are up for purchase at any time. Extra bonuses can be had for being the first to fill a 7 x 7 square on your board, but the various sizes and shapes the pieces come in make achieving this incredibly hard.

The two player system gives the game an intense feeling— similar to playing chess—but the lighter subject matter and the restrictions on how many time points are available to finish the game make it fun for more casual players looking for a good time.

I think this is a great addition to anyone’s game collection.

It has a fun strategy that will keep more serious players’ attention, as well as a simple rule structure to make it accessible to anyone. This can be a fun game to play with nieces, nephews, or grandparents, or as a quick time-filler if you’re early to your weekly games night.

Illustration by Ed Appleby

öö‘Patchwork’ board game review

arts // no. 9

issue 2 // volume 43

Comic Corner: The woeful saga of Deathface Ginny öö‘Pretty Deadly, Vol. 1: The Shrike’ review Brittney MacDonald Life & Style Editor

antasy western—it’s not a genre I find myself exploring often, but in the case of Pretty Deadly, that’s the only way of describing this book. I find myself conflicted as I write this review: Was the graphic novel actually good, or am I simply being deceived by a convoluted plot and a lot of pretty pictures?

In understanding Pretty Deadly, you must first understand the style of the writer, Kelly DeConnick. As proven with some of her previous works, such as Captain Marvel and Bitch Planet, her focus is on atmosphere as opposed to character development, similar to the way old scifi novels and movies were presented. Instead of getting to know and understanding

Illustration by Emma Ríos

F

the characters, the plot was simply a way of showing off the world, using that to emotionally

influence the audience.

We can see this in Pretty Deadly with the continual

emphasis on the “fight or flight” instinct with the protagonist, Deathface Ginny. For her, there

are only those two options when confrontation erupts, and the entire plot is centered around her running away from her destiny to become the next avatar of Death.

My only issue with the writing is that DeConnick obviously meant for this to be a long series, so a lot of the plot is left open, which is very annoying.

Even for extended series, only key points should be left open to address later, but in the case of Pretty Deadly, barely anything is concluded by the final page. To be fair, this could be the fault of the editor, as this is a collected work.

Artistically, I have seen few graphic novels that have sustained their incredible artistic aesthetic as well as this novel does. Emma Rios is one of my personal favourite artists, and this book is a prime example of why. To put it very simply, it is beautiful.

Despite my slight issues with the plot, I did enjoy this book, and will probably continue with the series.

Cinematic feelings in ‘The End of the Affair’ ööArtist explores relationships in film and personal life Cheryl Minns Columnist tefanie Denz’s The End of the Affair: Re-Imagined Roles and 20th-Century Cinema explores how the male/female relationship changed from 1960–84 and how Denz reacts to that constantly evolving relationship in her own life. On display in the Amelia Douglas Gallery, the exhibit features oil paintings of movie stills and personal images from Denz’s life on a variety of surfaces, such as wood, plastic, and Mylar.

“I paint because I have a need to express myself,” Denz said during her artist talk in the gallery on September 16.

“There are certain feelings that I want to convey.”

Denz’s earliest artwork in the exhibit was inspired by movie stills from Michael Cacoyannis’s Zorba the Greek.

After she watched the film in 2004, she started noticing certain images in the movie that caught her attention, so she decided to sketch them.

These sketches led to the Zorba the Greek wood panel paintings featured in the exhibit, “Desire” (2005) and “Our Hero Leaves Unredeemed” (2007).

The next film series she began watching was Federico

Stefanie Denz and Fire painting photo by Cheryl Minns

S

Fellini’s movies, including 8 ½ and La Dolce Vita. Her 8 ½ paintings capture scenes from the film on wood panels with uniquely cut wooden shapes affixed in certain positions to emphasize the composition of different shots. “La Dolce

Vita and Ferry Stairs” (2009) blends film with Denz’s real life, featuring scenes from the movie painted on a wood panel, like a wallpaper print beside a large image of a stairwell in a Salt Spring Island ferry.

“I don’t think you need to

watch the movies to appreciate the art,” Denz said. “I’m hoping I caught whatever the interaction is between the people because there is so much story in body language.”

The End of the Affair exhibit is named after one of Denz’s

personal wood panel paintings, “Tennis (The End of the Affair)” (2014), which features a female friend of hers, a former flame, and her daughter.

Denz’s daughters, Ella and Frieda, also appear in other paintings in the exhibit, including the Mylar painting “Rainer, Hannah, and Frieda” (2014) and plastic painting “Hannah and Ella” (2014).

Both paintings are inspired by filmmaker Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s movies and feature Hanna Schygulla, a well-known German actress who worked with Fassbinder on several projects.

Denz’s son also appears in paintings in the exhibit. He is part of the Mylar painting, “Aulden with all the Men and Women I have Known” (2013), which features the house that she grew up in and scenes from Fellini’s 8 ½. Her son also appears in the plastic painting, “Veronica Voss in a Victoria Suburb” (2014), which features his suburban neighbourhood and scenes from Fassbinder’s Veronica Voss.

The End of the Affair: ReImagined Roles and 20th-Century Cinema will be on display until October 22, in the Amelia Douglas Gallery on the fourth floor of the Douglas College New Westminster campus.

Sports

Have an idea for a story?  sports@theotherpress.ca

OO Introducing Jeff Ross OO Women’s soccer preview: September 24–25 And more!

Photo by Davie Wong

Honours even at Lillooet Park

ööWomen’s soccer draw even with Blues

Davie Wong Sports Editor

F

or some teams, an extended break can be a bit of a trap.

While the rest is nice, the lack of competition may dull a team or slow their momentum. For the Royals, that was their biggest fear coming into Sunday. However, unlike last week, the schedule was on their side this time.

Their opponent, the Capilano Blues, had a tough week going into their bout against the Royals on Sunday. An away game against the VIU Mariners ensured the team was tired and a bit worn out when they came home on Sunday. The Mariners did the due diligence and put the Blues through the bells and whistles during their game. It took an exceptional Blues’ effort to even bring the game to a tie. So going

into Sunday, it was safe to say that the Royals had a bit of an edge.

Nonetheless, it was always going to be a heavyweight tilt when the two teams finally met up on the field.

The game started off as advertised. The two wills of the team clashed on the field and in air. The battle looked like a perfect equilibrium as every Royals possession and chance was matched by a Blues run and chance. Neither team could find a leg up on the other in the first half of play.

However, that momentum changed right out of the door after the halftime break. Royals striker Mikayla Hamilton slotted in a wonderful shot that gave the Royals the lead. But the Blues also came out of the gate swinging.

Much to the disdain of the Royals, not more than three minutes after they seized the lead, the

OO Meet your captain: Antony McCullough

Blues came storming back and equalized that game.

The action was constant after that mark. Shots from both teams tested their respective goalkeepers and very close chances flew just a little wide.

At the end of 90, the 2 goals that started the half would end up being the only ones to end up in the net.

Although a tie is surely not what Chris Laxton was looking for when he and his team ventured up to Lillooet Field, it’s a result that they won’t have a bitter time taking. The result puts them right up there in the standing, at five points with one win, one loss and two ties. To be precise, the team sits at third in the standings, with one point separating them from the Blues, who sit just above them. The VIU Mariners sit below them at fourth with four ties in four matches.

WOMEN’S SOCCER INSTITUTION

CONF

PTS

LANGARA

2-0-2

8

CAPILANO

1-0-3

6

DOUGLAS

1-1-2

5

VIU

0-0-4

4

QUEST

0-3-1

1

CONF

PTS

CAPILANO

3-0-1

10

DOUGLAS

2-1-1

7

VIU

2-1-1

7

1-3

3

0-3-1

1

MEN’S SOCCER INSTITUTION

QUEST LANGARA

The beer pong world series Chandler Walter Assistant Editor

B

eer Pong. You may have played it some drunk night out at a friend’s house, participated in a buy-in tournament at your local pub, or maybe you have absolutely no idea how ping-pong balls and beer could have any relation whatsoever.

When brought down to the very brass tacks of the game, it’s about throwing a ball into a cup. Think ping-pong meets basketball, or competitive drinking meets chess. The strategy involved in defence, offence, house rules, and unwritten courtesies would more than fill up this page, so let’s just leave it at its basics. Two teams of two stand at opposing ends

of a long table, with a triangle of red solo cups in front of them (it could be a different colour, but red is always the preference).

The teams take turns throwing a ping-pong ball into the opposing team’s cups, and if they do so, the other team drinks that cup. Once all the cups are gone, it’s game over.

Though many may just see beer pong as some drinking game played at a party to combat the awkwardness of just having a conversation, it has also found itself being played at a higher, more competitive level. Many pubs and bars, or backyards, as entrepreneurial players such as me have done, host beer pong tournaments. They charge a buyin that would cover beer, and offer the potential of prestige, glory, and sometimes even a cash

prize.

Take this to the extreme, and you have the World Series of Beer Pong, a five-day event hosted in Las Vegas during the summer, which offers a $50,000 cash prize and the title of “World Beer Pong Champions” to the winning team.

This past July, the champions of the 11th annual tournament who took home the cash prize was the team History in The Making, made up of Michael Popielarski and Brandon Clarke. It was Popielarski’s third win of the World Series. There were roughly 600 competitors from around the globe who came out to compete in the event.

Cash prizes ranging from $300–5,000 were awarded to the 2nd–16th place finishers. That’s not a bad payoff for being skilled at throwing a ball into a cup.

Photo via Claire Corbin Photography via Wikimedia

ööEvent in Las Vegas offers $50,000 for first place winners

sports // no. 11

issue 2 // volume 43

Meet your captain: Antony McCullough

ööMen’s soccer captain Davie Wong Sports Editor hen Kwantlen Polytechnic University made the decision that the 2015–16 season would be the last year their athletics program ran, it broke the hearts of many athletes. For many, it shut down their chance to play at a collegiate level. But for others, it created a new opportunity.

Anthony McCullough was one of the students who seized that opportunity.

Having thought his collegiate career was over, the fourth year captain made his last year his best. His team came second at the PACWEST Provincial Tournament, and went to the CCAA National Tournament.

Although they came fifth, it was a memory that will likely last a lifetime. Finished with the season, McCullough graduated with a Bachelors in business, and set about settling into the postcollege life. However, that life didn’t come to McCullough as he thought it would, and he lingered with his heart in soccer, and his degree in something else.

That’s when coaches Robby Toor and Paul Bahia came calling.

A position on the men’s soccer team and a chance to earn a diploma in sports science—where his heart was leading him—was something McCullough couldn’t turn down. But before we really talk about McCullough’s journey to the Royals, we should talk about what led him to the beautiful game to begin with.

Anthony McCullough really doesn’t know the age at which he started playing soccer. Unlike

Photo by Davie Wong

W

many others, McCullough wasn’t put into soccer camps to find the game; the game founded him.

As McCullough explains, it was really just chance. “When I was just a kid, my next door neighbour donated me a pair of soccer cleats that were three or four sizes too big for me at the time. My parents used to help me stuff them with newspaper, and I’d go out there and start kicking a ball. Everyone that saw me play said I was a natural, and told my parents to put me in soccer. From there the

rest is history.” History indeed, as McCullough’s path forever changed that day.

Now he brings that history with him here, to Douglas College. His goals are already ambitious, but to him, that’s only normal. “It’s my fifth year now.

My personal goal is definitely [to] come home with a national gold, and nothing less. I got a taste of what it was like with the KPU squad last year and that was a great accomplishment. But now, I’ve got my eyes on nothing less

than a national gold.” But it wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows for the fifth-year captain.

The beginning of the preseason saw a few other KPU players make their way over to the Royals in an attempt to crack the team roster. It wasn’t easy for the players. But as McCullough says, the team has only gotten better since. “The beginning of the pre-season, it didn’t look like the whole outline of how this year was going to work, was going to work at all. At times it looked sloppy and like we were all trying to play our different kinds of styles of soccer. Over time we’ve adapted. We put players in the right positions, the chemistry has been working, and we’re looking to keep thriving off that success.”

McCullough was one of the players that has had to adapt.

Originally a centre midfielder, McCullough now plays as a fullback. For some, that transition would have been impossible to make. McCullough has worked hard to fit into his new position, and has impressed his coaches enough to make the first team.

However, he doesn’t shy away from admitting the level of difficulty the move has been for him. “At times it’s been stressful for me, but it’s something that I feel is a challenge for me, and I’m one of those guys that performs under pressure. So I’m looking forward to seeing what good things are coming moving forward.”

That sort of attitude is a huge factor as to why he was made the captain for this year’s team.

However, that too has been a challenge, as it always has been.

“It’s a lot different being captain.

You’re not only responsible for yourself, you’re responsible for the whole team as well. It’s definitely been something that, even now, I’m still getting used to.” It is not McCullough’s first time being put in a leadership role, either.

During his time with the KPU Eagles, he was their co-captain in his third year, and their captain in his fourth year. Yet every year has thrown a different challenge at him.

This year was no different, as he finds himself in the very unique position of being a captain on a team that he’s just transferred to. “It’s quite the experience. I’m not sure how many people have been in the scenario I’m in, but I think I’m one of the first. It’s a little bit challenging at times because a lot of faces are new, but having some of my former KPU teammates on the team with me makes things a little bit easier.

It’s really just about doing what I know. I have to stick to how I lead my team last year, and I just need the rest of the team to buy into the same kind of system.”

Luckily for him, the team has done exactly that. They have bought into his leadership and his system. It seems as though the coaches knew exactly what they were doing when they named McCullough captain, and so far, it’s paid off. This year will be far from easy for the team, as the CCAA silver medalists and PACWEST gold medalists, the Capilano Blues, will likely be in the way of McCullough’s ambitions. But if I’ve learned anything about Anthony McCullough, it’s that he loves a challenge.

Men’s soccer preview: September 24–25 ööRevenge must drive the Royals into sharpness Davie Wong Sports Editor

T

he beautiful and rather annoying thing about having a 12-game league with 5 different teams, is the fact that you get a chance to play each team 3 times before the playoffs. Think of it like a triple-round robin group stage of a tournament. While the statistics of this fact aren’t too obvious yet, the amount of story each game provides is only boosted.

Next week, the Royals will once again take a swing at the VIU Mariners and see if they can take a game off of them on their soil. The very next day, the team will travel out to the valley to take on the Quest Kermodes as well. Undoubtedly, out of the two, the most interesting game

will be against the Mariners.

The last time these two met, the Mariners managed to hand the Royals their first regular season loss. To say the game was lopsided would be slightly further from the truth.

The Mariners ran laps around the Royals. After they conceded the first goal, the Royals seemed to lose their momentum and never found a way to get it back.

They’ll really need to fix that before they face the Mariners.

The key for the Royals also happens to be their weakest link. They need to step on the gas early and dump on the pressure. Statistically, the Royals always lose when they concede the first goal. Realistically, the only time they’ve conceded the first goal was against VIU the last time they played. While

some may say that means nothing without more data, I think it means a whole lot.

The Royals team thrives off their control of the game. When they can control possession, the game isn’t even close.

The team dictates tempo and wears defences thin with their constant and precise aggression.

That’s the only kind of soccer the team knows how to play.

It’s beautiful and powerful.

However, when the team can’t do that, they kind of fall apart.

That just makes the strong start even more important for the team.

However, they can come into the game with quite some confidence. The team is coming off a hard-fought tie with the Capilano Blues, whom the Mariners lost to the week

before. Although they managed to bounce back against the Kermodes the next day, the loss is likely still on the back of their mind. If the Royals managed to draw even with the team that beat the Mariners, it should mean that they are better than the Mariners, right?

Well, not necessarily so. As so often said, any team in the PACWEST can take a win on any given day. The Royals will need to show up for this game. And if the Mariners show up as well, it should be a really good game.

The Royals will also face off against the Quest Kermodes the very next day. With both games being away, travel fatigue will be a very real issue for the team.

Coaches Paul and Robby will need to rotate their team well during the trip to avoid fielding

players that are out of steam.

While the game against the Kermodes seems like an easier one, the Royals shouldn’t take their opponents lightly. Though their record speaks to the level the team is playing on, they still are dangerous. Just last week, the team crushed the Langara Falcons, dominating the game start to finish. Their four goals is the second highest amount of goals scored by one team in a game this season. The Royals will need to be on point, lest they fall victim to the same fate.

All in all, it should be a great weekend of soccer. I think the Royals pulling four points out of their matches will be reasonable, with a minimum of three. Getting all six would put the team in the top position in the standings.

BEAUTIFY YOUR BOOKSHELVES WITH OWLCRATE Local business offers monthly box of books and goodies Cheryl Minns Columnist

F

or bookworms of all ages who enjoy young adult (YA) novels and a dash of mystery, OwlCrate offers a monthly subscription box with a newly-published novel and several book-related items.

The twist? The contents of the box aren’t revealed beforehand, so it’s a complete mystery what subscribers will receive each month.

OwlCrate was founded in Vancouver by Korrina Ede and Robert Madden, former toy store employees who met at work in 2009. The couple had wanted to start their own business for some time, so in November 2014, they took a week off of work to finally solidify their entrepreneurial dreams.

“Even though our interests are quite diverse, we always connected over books,” Madden said. “When we decided to start our business together, we thought books were a great idea because we both like to read.”

“Robert said he liked the idea of a subscription box, which sounded really fun. Then we were like, ‘What should we put in it?’” Ede said.

“Within an hour we had just created OwlCrate,” Madden said.

The name OwlCrate was inspired by the Owl Post in J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, which involved owls delivering mail to wizards.

Ede and Madden write on their website, OwlCrate.com, that an “owl delivers your OwlCrate,” but the “owl usually takes the form of a postal worker.”

In February 2015, OwlCrate began taking one-month (US $29.99), three-month ($86.98), and six-month ($167.94) subscription orders for their first box, which would ship in March 2015.

“It seemed like a great way to start a business,” Madden said. “Instead of having to find investors, your customer buys a six-month plan upfront and then that money acts as cash flow for you to buy inventory.”

Madden and Ede used their retail knowledge and small business skills to secure well-known suppliers and independent artisans on Etsy.com to supply products for the OwlCrate boxes.

“In some of our early boxes, we actually used suppliers that we were familiar with from the toy store. For example, we had already communicated with Funko and knew the arrangements,” Madden said. “Korrina had a few Etsy shops in the past, so she was using her Etsy expertise to contact those people. Our small business past really helped.”

Ede also used her connections in the YA literary community to discover what upcoming books subscribers would be interested in. Since OwlCrate began, she has personally read and selected each month’s book. She typically chooses from about 5 advanced reader copies of upcoming YA novels that are scheduled to be published within 45 days of OwlCrate’s shipping date. She has also curated each month’s box with a theme that relates to the book.

The March 2015 box had a Fantasy theme and featured V. E. Schwab’s A Darker Shade of Magic. Along with the hardcover book, the box also included a Game of Thrones Mystery Mini figure by Funko, a package of Enchanted Unicorn Bandages by Archie McPhee, a promotional poster and pin for A Darker Shade of Magic from Macmillan Publishers, and a three-pack of mini magnetic bookmarks by Vancouver-based Etsy shop Craftedvan.

“OwlCrate reached out to us on Etsy and introduced themselves to us prior to launching their subscription box,” said Diana Luong and Erica Carreras of Craftedvan, which opened in October 2013. “They expressed that they’d love to have our bookmarks in one of their boxes. It turned out we were both from Vancouver and our bookish focuses made it a perfect fit.”

When OwlCrate began, Ede and Madden planned to sell 150 subscriptions for the Fantasy box, but they quickly sold out. They decided to add another 100 boxes, which also sold out exceptionally fast. They shipped a total of 250 boxes for their first month of business.

For months, OwlCrate had long waitlists of customers wanting to subscribe. Since each month has a different theme, some months were more popular than others, and sometimes the subscription period would end early because they had reached the maximum number of subscriptions and couldn’t add any more.

OwlCrate now has thousands of subscribers each month, with about 80 per cent of them located in the USA and 20 per cent located in Canada and internationally.

“We have customers in Saudi Arabia, Taiwan, Dubai,” Madden said. “It’s great to see how many people are part of this community around the world.”

At first, Ede and Madden used Canada Post to ship the boxes, but they soon became more cost-effective, using a fulfillment centre in Portland, Oregon. Shipping costs are US $6.99 for American subscribers, $10.59 for Canadian subscribers, and $19.99 for international subscribers.

Although international shipping is expensive, subscribers find OwlCrate to be a great way to get North American exclusives.

“For some people, it’s worth it because different countries produce different editions of books and a lot of people in Europe want the North American edition of the book,” Madden said. “They want the edition that represents the original, especially with the American authors.”

Since OwlCrate works with an American fulfillment centre, Canadian Etsy artisans who want their products in the boxes have to figure out customs for shipping their product to the USA. Craftedvan decided to work out the customs requirements in order to continue having their products in OwlCrate. Along with being featured in the Fantasy box, their mini magnetic bookmarks have also been featured in the Spooky box in October 2015 and the Royalty box in June 2016.

“They let us be as creative as we’d like, which makes it so much fun,” Luong and Carreras said. “But since we make our bookmarks by hand, it took us two whole

months to complete the bookmarks needed for June’s Royalty box.”

In July, the Good vs. Evil box sold out several days before the subscription sign-up period ended on July 20. The box featured V. E. Schwab’s This Savage Song and items from Harry Potter, Star Wars, Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff’s Illuminae, and Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. What made the box unique was that half of the subscribers would receive a Good box with hero-related items while the other half would receive an Evil box with villain-related items. The boxes were sent to subscribers at random, so no one knew which box they would receive.

“I really loved the Good vs. Evil theme. It was so fun opening the box to see which side I was on,” said Shannon Silvey, an OwlCrate subscriber who runs the Facebook buy/sell/trade group OwlCrate Official B/S/T and Chat.

The group provides the OwlCrate community a friendly space to chat, as well as an opportunity for members to buy, sell, or trade their items with other members.

“If you’ve been thinking about subscribing to OwlCrate, do it. You will not regret it,” Silvey said. “If you ever receive anything that you don’t want or can’t use, I’d be happy to help you trade or sell it in the B/S/T group.”

On September 3, Ede and Madden started a Facebook group called The OwlCrate Society, a space for OwlCrate fans to discuss their reading-related interests and activities. Within a few days, the group already had over a thousand members, and it continues to grow.

To encourage community involvement, Ede and Madden ran a photo contest in The OwlCrate Society and on their Instagram account, @owlcrate, which has over 100,000 followers. The contest invited participants to take photos of the contents of the Fast Times at YA High box that was sent out in August.

“It was a fun way to get people to use the items in their boxes,” Ede said.

The box included Kasie West’s P.S. I Like You, an OwlCrate original necklace of Rainbow Rowell’s Eleanor & Park, a Rainbow Rowell art print, a Harry Potter art print

by Suzanne Draws, a Hogwarts button by Taryn Draws, a mini Decomposition Book, Blue Star Colouring’s Adult Colouring Book, coloured pencils, a Chapter Raptor button, a signed bookplate, and a letter from the author.

The first author letter to be included in OwlCrate was Julie Murphy’s letter in the Leading Ladies box from September 2015, which included Murphy’s book Dumplin’.

“Harper Collins asked us if we wanted to include a letter from Julie Murphy,” Ede said. “Then we just decided that every box going forward would include a letter from the author.”

“It’s a great way to connect the author to the reader through the OwlCrate experience,” Madden said. “Often the author will give some unique insight into their inspiration to write the book.”

Inside the lid of an OwlCrate box, there is a Guide to Unboxing that includes three instructions: “Photograph and film your unboxing experience,” “show off your treats to the OwlCrate community,” and “snuggle up and enjoy your new book.” This has led to a variety of photographed unboxings on Instagram, unboxing videos on YouTube, and online discussions about subscribers’ favourite items.

In every box, there is an info card that states the box’s contents on one side and has an illustration on the other side. To show their support of literary video bloggers who film their OwlCrate unboxings, Madden and Ede chose four popular BookTubers and had their likeness illustrated into the Fast Times at YA High info card illustration of students in a high school hallway.

Since November 2015, the info cards have been illustrated by artist James Maxwell, who worked at the toy store with Madden and Ede. Starting with the August box, he will also be providing a collectible button in each box featuring an image from the info card illustration. The August button featured a dinosaur reading a book with the caption Chapter Raptor. Maxwell’s Myths & Legends info card from the November 2015 box can be found on his Instagram account, @spykles.

OwlCrate has even inspired members of their community to create their own subscription boxes, such as Craftedvan’s Read Happy Plan.

Craftedvan’s subscription box offers magnetic bookmarks and various other goodies, such as greetings cards and magnets. The theme for the August box was ocean/sea.

“Running our own subscription bookmark business allows us to be super creative. It pushes us to follow a theme each month and creatively design bookmarks that support that theme,” they said.

“Working with OwlCrate taught us that we could be creative with the theme. It also taught us the importance of adding as much value and personality as possible into each package.”

Besides connecting with the online community, Ede and Madden also enjoy connecting with OwlCrate fans at young adult literary events, such as the American festivals YA Fests, YALL Fest, and YALL West.

“We’ve only done a few shows so far, but we’re enjoying actively engaging in-person with our community,” Madden said. “There are all of these online relationships, but to actually meet someone in person is really great.”

OwlCrate’s September box has a Darkness theme and includes items featuring Ransom Riggs’s Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, Sarah J. Maas’s Throne of Glass, and Leigh Bardugo’s Six of Crows. Being a popular theme, the box sold out before the subscription sign-up period ended on September 20. The October box has the theme Once upon a Dream and include items from fairy tales and stories about dreams.

To learn more about OwlCrate, check out their website at OwlCrate.com.

theotherpress.ca

sports // no. 14

Introducing Jeff Ross ööNew women’s volleyball head coach

ca

al s .

e roy

o u g l a s c o ll e g

t’s nearly volleyball season once again. In little more than a month, the gyms at Douglas College will be filled with fans and spectators, watching the Royals volleyball teams do battle. While the men have undergone some large changes, the women have been a little quieter this off-season. That’s been because the team has been going over some rather large internal changes. Gone are the flamboyant coaching stylings of Kyra Iannone. Replacing her will be Jeff Ross.

The Saskatchewan-born First Nations coach comes to the Royals with a unique swagger, and a coaching portfolio to back it up. Although not long, Ross’ portfolio is deep. As he tells us, his initial journey into coaching was something that just kind of happened. “I fell into coaching. I liked the sport. I was in my first year of college when the coach asked me to coach a club team, and I did, so that just kind of happened. I just progressed from there.” It just happened to be that Ross enjoyed coaching so much that after his second year of college, he took a break from schooling to focus on himself,

g e v ia d

I

and continued to coach while doing so.

After figuring out what he wanted to do, Ross made the move out west, heading to UBC in pursuit of a degree in kinesiology.

While doing so, he took the opportunity to start playing again. He played for two years on the UBC squad while obtaining his undergraduate in kinesiology, with a minor in psychology. His time here in BC helped him establish himself as a volleyball player and coach. With no real opportunities to coach at a high level in his home province of Saskatchewan, Ross made his move to BC a permanent one.

He didn’t take long to find his spot in the volleyball community of Vancouver.

Picked up as the head coach for West Point Grey’s senior girls volleyball team, Ross has since made other advancements, while still holding on to that position. Along with coaching high school, Jeff coaches at Ima

Davie Wong Sports Editor

the Thunder Volleyball Club in Vancouver. He is also a coach for Volleyball BC. All of this and now taking on the responsibilities as a coach for the Royals may seem a lot, but Ross believes he can handle it.

“Balancing time isn’t hard as long as you have good time management.

It isn’t crazy at all.”

However, this is Ross’ first venture into the world of postsecondary coaching.

As one might assume, coaching a post-secondary team is quite different than coaching a high school-level team, or even at a club. Ross sees it differently, though. “The only difference is some of the organization stuff like budgets, and the management of other things. Other than that, I’ve been head coaching at clubs and high schools for three or four years, and worked closely with the UBC head coach. Stepping into a post-secondary role is an easy transition for me, given how much I coach.”

Nevertheless, Jeff has some fairly large shoes to fill. Iannone spent the last five years building up the program her way, and her style. Last year, it all finally came together, and the team finished the highest in a long time. But for Ross, he believes that his hiring signaled a new start for the program, and that it’s now up to him to establish a new legacy. “I got hired into a new program, and I want to create my own pathway. I want to move forward with the program in the best way I see it going.”

While many would give Jeff Ross a year or two to really dig his feet into the program and the PACWEST, he intends on getting a running start at his time here at Douglas, and has set his goals to match that. “I want to make Douglas one of the best Volleyball programs in the PACWEST and in Canada […]

We’ve instilled some new things in the program and whatnot, and we’re trying to make it as competitive as we can this year.”

He’ll have some help there from a fairly veteran team returning to the court. Notable figures returning to the team are Juliana Penner, Autumn Davidson, Georgia Hurry, Claudia Corneil, and Lynnea Carr. Alongside them stand

several newcomers who will be looking to earn their spot on the roster throughout the preseason.

However, not on the list of returning players is a rather significant name. Last year’s PACWEST Rookie of the Year and overall stellar player Darby Dunn will not be returning to the court for the Royals. Instead, she has transferred to Stetson University to pursue her passion in beach volleyball.

Without her, the Royals are a fairly different team, but Ross believes that it’s unlikely her transfer will impact the team dynamic too heavily, as his roster is already solid, and can compete against any of the PACWEST teams that come at them this season.

While he prepares for the upcoming challenges this year, Ross can at least be assured that he has the team’s confidence.

Fifth-year player Juliana Penner spoke on behalf of her team regarding the hiring of Ross.

“The team is excited to have him. Jeff has the volleyball knowledge and abilities to help us achieve something special this year. As a whole we are embracing the change, and looking forward to what he will add to this program.”

Women’s soccer preview: September 24–25 ööFishing or hunting? Why not both?

Davie Wong Sports Editor ith this week’s results in the bag, we look to next week’s scheduled action.

The Royals continue their road trip next week with two away games—one game on Vancouver Islands followed by a game in the Fraser Valley.

Their most notable game will be against the VIU Mariners. The last time these two teams played, they racked up 10 goals between them and split the game 5–5.

While a gluttony of goals is not the expected result, fine offensive play from both teams should see an exciting game between the two at the very least.

Interestingly enough, despite the Mariners’ firepower, the team has yet to win a game. However, they’ve also yet to lose a game.

In every game they’ve held the lead, they’ve also lost it. Their defence can’t hold onto a game, or it’s become a team mentality and they simply cannot hold onto a lead. Either way, this is something the Royals will want

Photo by Davie Wong

W

to exploit during their game next week.

It shouldn’t be too hard either. The Royals’ striker, Mikayla Hamilton, has had increasingly better performances as the season goes deeper. While she continues to get into form, the Royals will be increasingly dangerous. Incidentally, her first goal of the season came against the VIU Mariners. While she didn’t score the game after against the Quest Kermodes, she had several looks. She came back against the Blues, putting away

her team’s only goal and throwing out a celebration that will be remembered for quite some time.

The team will hope that she will have even more reason to be jubilant against the Mariners.

Perhaps she will pick up her first multi-goal game of the season.

It would be quite foreseeable against the struggling Mariners.

No matter how many goals she does end up putting in on Saturday, it’s imperative that she gets one to keep her streak rolling and get her in the scoring rhythm.

Against the Quest Kermodes, the team will need to guard against complacency. Although the Kermodes have yet to pick up a win, they are not helpless. The last time the two teams played, the Royals barely held onto the one goal lead that gave them the win. While their pressure may be good, the Royals can relax a bit when they think about Quest’s conversion rates. Despite generating chances, they simply aren’t good enough to finish.

On the flip side, their defence is quite the wall. Last

week, they held the Mariners to a boring 0–0 draw with both teams cancelling each other out.

The Royals themselves just barely got a ball into the net last time.

However, the wall isn’t without its holes. The Kermodes team allowed Langara to convert four goals the day before that, but keep in mind that Langara is easily looking like one of the best teams in the PACWEST, and leads the standings having not been defeated.

All in all, it’s going to a tough week to call for the Royals. While a defeat to the Mariners is not unlikely, I don’t think the Royals will be the one to give VIU their first win. If anything, it’s looking like a draw once again. Against the Kermodes, a win is not a stretch. A tie is a possibility, but losing looks out of the ordinary at the moment. I expect the team to finish next week having earned at least four points, which given the right circumstances could see them jump into first, or tie for second. Any less than that will be a bit of a let down given the team’s good form of late.

Have an idea for a story?  lifeandstyle@theotherpress.ca

Life & Style

OO Meet your captain: Antony McCullough OO Street legal: Speeding tickets OO Great food, kinda rude And more!

You’re worth it... and more Ritu Guglani Contributor

L

ast month, I was surprised to see my mom wearing my 20-year-old sweater. She told me it was the one I had vomited on after gulping down an insecticide bottle to kill myself at the age of 23. After passing out, I had thrown up incessantly, and expelled large quantities of the poison, reaching the hospital barely alive in the arms of my shocked parents. Mom had knitted the teal sweater for me, and I had patched a red teddy bear on one sleeve to stamp it as mine and save it from my sister. Mom told me she had washed it with tears (and detergent too, I hope), and she wears it in gratitude.

At 23, I had a major crush on my classmate Paul. Paul was handsome and nothing I did was impressing him. Preparing for my final undergraduate exam, I sat there thinking about him all night. Thoughts of Paul distracted me so much that I could not study for the important exam the next morning. As I sat with my textbook and class-notes, failure was staring me in my face.

Then the insecticide bottle stared at me as well.

Three days in the ICU and multiple antidotes flushed the

insecticide out of my system.

I woke up in the ICU, tubes going in and out of me. I was too drugged to stay awake for anything, and I asked my dad if the exam was over—it was. Sometime in those three days, the psychiatrist visited me and asked questions.

My allies supported me in the days and weeks that followed, with everything they could.

A very real fight against Mr. Depression started once I had gotten out of the ICU. I won’t tell you it was easy. It was an uphill battle. My allies in this battle were my psychiatrist, counsellor, and my mom and dad. My most important ally was myself. There were days when I almost gave up my fight to defeat my depression.

Of course, there were times when nothing seemed to work, but then there were days of sunshine and delight. Gradually, the sunny days increased in number.

Fast forward 20 years —I have lived a time-tapestry of successful romances and heartbreaks, good jobs, bad jobs, pregnancies, miscarriages, marriage, divorce, dreamy vacations in the sun, and mundane household chores.

I am a proud mom of two handsome teenagers.

Vomiting out on that sweater saved my life 20 years ago. Each day of this wonderful life has

been worth living, because I know I’m valued by friends and family. None of this would have happened if I had succeeded in the attempt on my own life.

Paul was not worth it, and neither was the undergraduate degree that became the catalyst to my suicide attempt.

In Canada, Approximately 11 people will die by suicide each day according to the Canadian Association of Suicide Prevention. Suicide is the second leading cause of death in Canada.

If you or your loved one is fighting depression or anxiety, or feeling suicidal, help is just a phone call away.

Call the Fraser Health Crisis Line at 604-951-8855 or 1-800 SUICIDE anonymously.

Professionally trained volunteers respond at the other end, and they are available 24/7.

The compassionate voice at the other end will walk with you through your emotional crisis, and give you valuable community resources for the days and weeks that follow. Depression is not your fault. Twenty years ago, I was shy and felt stigmatized because I was depressed. You don’t have to feel ashamed of depression or any other mental health condition.

Show strength and pick up your phone to seek help from friends, family, and professionals, because you are worth it.

The monastery: the Pavlov principle ööRetrain your brains for gains Adam Tatelman Arts Editor alph Waldo Emerson once R said that “The reward of a thing well done is to have

Image via www.pablopicasso.org

The following warning signs may point to your loved one being suicidal: • Low self-esteem • Sense of hopelessness for the future • Loneliness and isolation • Aggressiveness and irritability • Access to lethal means like guns and lethal drugs • Feeling like a burden to others • Mood and behaviour changes • Frequent mention of death • Self-harm behaviours like cutting • Planning for their own funeral • Donating their prized possessions • Substance abuse • Threats of suicide

Image via thinkstock

ööA survivor’s testimonial

done it.” While that’s a very monk-like idea to aspire to, most people will need to work at rewarding themselves for good behaviour before a feeling of accomplishment is all they need to motivate them towards success.

One of the most important things to do when trying to make a new habit is to give yourself a reward when you succeed in doing it, and withhold the reward when you do not. That way, you will not feel compelled to give up just because you’ve failed once, since you will still want to work towards the reward.

Eventually, the reward is no longer necessary because you have sublimated the new habit, much like Pavlov’s dogs were trained to anticipate dinner at the sound of a bell.

This is known as operant conditioning, and it only succeeds if you are entirely consistent with the rewards.

Rewarding yourself regardless of your success or failure will only hinder the building of the new good habit. Furthermore, be sure that the reward is personal to you. Generic rewards like an extra beer or a slice of cake might do for some, but you’ll be more likely to stay focused if you personalize your rewards to fit your goals. If your goal is to start eating healthier, reward yourself with a dinner out should you manage your meals correctly. Just make sure that all that work isn’t for nothing. Don’t suffer a week of whole grains and salad only to binge on greasy fast food. Try and keep your ultimate goals in perspective.

Most of all, remember to forgive yourself when you fail. All progress happens on a steady grade, so expecting perfection right off the bat is unrealistic. Don’t waste time berating yourself as punishment—that’s why you withhold the reward.

Take it as motivation to do better next time, and do it.

Next week: suggestions for those interested in meditation. Tashi deley.

theotherpress.ca

life & style // no. 16

A longwear nail polish that delivers ööRevlon Colorstay Gel Envy Longwear Nail Enamel review Rebecca Peterson Humour Editor s a chronic nail-biter, I tend to wear a lot of nail polish in an attempt to curb the nervous habit. As such, I have an extensive nail polish collection, from OPI to China Glaze to Essie. However, I’m always looking for cheaper drugstore options to dupe in for more expensive brands. F.U.N. Lacquer may be great and all, but at nearly $13 a bottle (not counting tax and shipping), it’s not exactly practical. So when I find a great line of polish for a decent price, I tend to buy a lot of it, and the Gel Envy polishes have been my go-to for a while now.

When I’m looking at polishes, especially crème polishes (flat colours), I tend to look for two things: opacity and longevity. Ideally, a polish should only take two coats to be completely solid in colour (and for nail art, even better if it’s a one-coat wonder). As well, a good nail polish should last several days without chipping—longer

Image via www.canadianfashionista.net

A

if applied correctly with a base coat and top coat, and properly capped at the tips. The Gel Envy line has never disappointed me on these scores. The formula is thick and heavily pigmented which is great for nail art in particular, as you can get away with single coats, preventing

an awful gummy build-up of layers on your nails. As well, the mock-gel aspect of the polish makes it a lot more flexible, and less prone to chipping. I’ve personally worn their deep crème purple High Roller for up to a week without obvious damage.

The downsides to this line

Street legal: Speeding tickets ööWhich ones to fight, and how to fight them Brittney MacDonald Life and Style Editor

F

or me, nothing is scarier than being pulled over. That may sound a little dramatic, but let’s just say I may have suffered at the hands of traffic authority more than once.

Being pulled over is especially scary now, with laws in place that will see your car or other motor vehicle impounded for various reasons. What the cops or the government will never tell you is that there are certain tickets that can be fought and won almost every single time— the trick is knowing when— and how—to fight them.

Now if you’re dumb enough to drive under the influence of drugs or alcohol, then there’s not much hope for you, but if you’re caught on radar or if you receive a ticket postaccident, then you might want to take a seat and read on.

You may be asking yourself “why would I fight a ticket and piss off the cop more?”

Obviously because you’re a

poor student and can’t afford to pay the ticket he’s going to write you anyway. Duh. There are two types of tickets that you should fight every single time, the first of which is a speeding ticket based off of a radar gun reading. It all starts when the cop pulls you over; they’ll ask you the typical “Do you know why I stopped you?” This is an attempt to get you to admit your wrong doing, so that if you do fight the ticket they’re going to give you, they can say that you confessed. Luckily, most people’s first instinct will be to deny everything. This is good—follow your instincts.

When the cop tells you how fast you were going, ask them how they determined your speed. If they say radar, tell them you think their radar gun is off, and ask them how long ago it was last calibrated.

Most of the time they will not know, but even if they do, unless that radar gun was calibrated two minutes before they caught you, you can fight the ticket. The trouble with

are few, but worth noting. There are 37 shades listed on their website, and you can find most of them in stores, both crème and sparkling polishes alike.

However, I personally don’t find the colour selection very exciting. I would love to see them

apply their gel formula to some of the more creative colours Revlon has been producing with their other lines of polishes, such as the gorgeous pink and green duo-chrome Daydreamer polish they’ve just released. As well, some have criticized the thickness of the formula for being hard to work with. It goes tacky very quickly, so you need to be efficient while applying it, and be certain to cap the bottle right away. I find if I’m not careful with the white crème polish I use as a base coat for gradient nail art, the application can get a little clumpy, like I’m painting with white-out instead of nail polish.

All in all, however, the Gel Envy line delivers a lot for an extremely affordable price—$4.99 at London Drugs. If you’re looking to supplement your collection with some solid and cost-efficient basics, this polish is the way to go. I would suggest picking up the Gel Envy Diamond Top Coat as well, a new release for the collection that will keep your mani lasting even longer.

#DOUGLIFE Share your photos with us on Instagram using the hashtag #DougLife, for a chance to be featured in the paper!

radar is that it’s never fully accurate, though the police and the government would like you to believe otherwise.

So unless you’re going 50–100 kilometres over the speed limit, the radar gun may be off—meaning the cops really have no idea how fast you were going, and you may not have been speeding in the first place.

When your court date comes, simply repeat the line of questioning. Ask how they determined your exact speed, then ask at the time of the reading, when was the last time the radar gun had been calibrated. Lastly, ask if it is possible that the calibration was off, therefore making the radar reading inaccurate. What this does is set a precedent for doubt, making it impossible to rule that you are guilty beyond reasonable doubt based off of the radar reading alone.

Tune in next week to learn about the second type of ticket you should always fight—the post-accident “following too closely.”

This week’s tweet is by @thenowsports

Beauty on a budget: Katy Kat Matte lipstick ööKaty Perry’s first lipstick line brings trendy shades to the drugstore Lauren Kelly Editor-in-Chief

A

fter seeing a Youtube commercial a few months back on Katy Perry’s new lipstick line, I was very interested in checking it out. She hand-picked each colour, and included shades that are hard to find in cheaper products outside of NYX. After their release, they were often sold out of these more unique shades, but they finally seem to be more readily-available.

Of the 11 colours in the line, I purchased Crimson Cat, a bright, warm red; Catoure, a dark, dusty rose; Katy Purry, a blue-pink; Cosmo Kitty, a bright bluish-lilac; and Perry Panther, a

dark blue-toned black. I wanted to hit a wide-range of tones, and I didn’t want to pass on Katy Purry, which Perry named after herself since she claimed that she would wear it the most.

My favourites are definitely Perry Panther, Catoure, and Crimson Cat. Perry Panther was my first black lipstick, but I found that it’s surprisingly wearable and not too harsh. The black is soft, and since it is demi-matte, it’s not too dramatic. Catoure is similar in colour to many of my favourite lipsticks, so I’m a bit biased. I find that many of the brownpink shades that have become popular will suit most skin-tones, so they’re an easy go-to. Since I have warm-toned skin, I found

that Crimson Cat really suited me compared to some other reds, and, even though it was bright, it didn’t look too dramatic. For the same reason, the blue tones of Cosmo Kitty and Katy Purry looked out of place on my face, but Cosmo Kitty is too fun to not throw on every once in a while.

I’m impressed by the longevity of these, especially for a more typical tube-lipstick. Even Perry Panther lasted fairly well over a few hours, a meal, a drink, and barely needed to be touched up afterwards. Each colour is also intensely pigmented. This was another concern for me: When wearing a bright red, a lilac, or a black, you don’t want your natural lip colour peeking

through. The only one I had trouble with in regards to this was Cosmo Kitty, especially after having worn other colours first.

You could still see some pink peeking through. Still, while they definitely weren’t a one-swipe lipstick, it was easy to achieve full coverage with the rest.

As promised, these do have a demi-matte finish. They still do catch some light, but they are mostly free of the shine that would make colours like Perry Panther and Cosmic Kitty less wearable. I found that they do stain my lips a bit, especially after wearing them for a long time. This means that the colours in my photos might not be completely

Image via www.beautezine.com

life & style // no. 17

issue 2 // volume 43

true to how they would look on completely fresh lips.

I also love the packaging for these. Each is in a sleek, square, white tube. The tube itself has a matte finish, and the colour of the lipstick is shown in a clear section at the bottom, so it’s easy to tell which is which without opening them or reading the name on the bottom.

I got each tube on sale at Shoppers Drug Mart for $6.99, and they sell them regularly at $10.99. The regular price at Walmart is cheaper, at $8.47, and London Drugs has them for $9.99. These are definitely worth it, at least for the colours that you wouldn’t be able to find from other drugstore brands.

Great food, kinda rude Jamal Al-Bayaa Staff Writer

L

ocated in the complex that houses BMO and Chronic Tacos, Hayashi Sushi serves surprises with its simple and authentic décor. It’s not much, but it successfully takes you away from the Canadian vibe outside, and brings you into a much more traditionally Japanese atmosphere, unlike most of the sushi restaurants in Douglas College’s proximity. Although small, seating is plentiful, and it doesn’t feel cramped.

The space between booths and tables is enough for servers to walk around, take orders, and check up on refreshments— but they seldom do any of the above. During our meal, we were checked on frequently up until we had ordered. From that point on, the frequency of service dropped immediately. The only time we saw our server since then, at least of her own accord,

was when she brought us our food and brought us the bill.

Two waters and a tea turned into one water and one tea—getting the second water was a hassle. Hayashi’s patrons may be familiar with this, and even okay with it, since they keep coming back.

The restaurant is consistently active, if not full, probably because the food is supreme.

California rolls are expensive ($4.25 compared to an average of $3.75), but the rest of their menu delivers decently-priced food that will resonate with restaurant goers due to its quality.

By getting the BC Combo, I got to try the foods that make up some of the establishment’s staples, and got a pretty good feel for their strengths and weaknesses as a result.

The BC roll was probably my least favorite option, and yet it still satisfied. It didn’t lack in quality, but it did lack in complexity. With nothing but salmon skin, cucumber,

Photo via www.zomato.com

ööAn inside look at Hayashi Sushi

and lettuce inside, it’s safe to say that although the roll is done well, it’s done simply.

Overly simple for my tastes.

Past that, Hayashi’s fish struck me as high quality and expertly prepared. The spicy tuna cone and the salmon nigiri (sashimi fish on top of rice) gave off a very fresh flavor, without being “overly fishy” or any of the other common troubles people might have.

More importantly, the meat was tender, exemplifying the melt-in-your-mouth quality that defines good sushi.

Normally, I’m not a fan of spicy sushi sauces. Hayashi’s hot sauce wasn’t the average sauce though. Tasting a bit of it on its own, I let out an “ooh that’s spicy!” before I could stop myself, more out of surprise than reaction. Most spicy sauces I taste are weirdly sweet and tangy, on

top of the regular spice. This was better. The sauce was lathered generously on top of the big helping of tuna that made up the top half of the sushi cone. The way the tuna worked with the sauce was magnificent. It was creamy, flavorful, and addictive.

Though slightly messy to eat, the spicy tuna cone at Hayashi was my favorite item of the day. When I return, I’ll definitely order two or three of them for my meal.

Hayashi pays an excellent tribute to history with quality food across the board. The sashimi melts in your mouth, while everything else either pleased or greatly impressed.

While the décor could use small adjustments to stay relevant, the service needs a major revamp to stay competitive. In 2016, service is about processes making sure that all of your patrons get served, and that you know who to see and where to go at any given time. Hopefully that happens, so I can focus on my food the next time I go.

Opinions

Have an idea for a story?  opinions@theotherpress.ca

OO Putting the ‘fem’ in feminism OO Creep catchers busting perverted pigs OO How many of Trump’s supporters really are ‘deplorable’?

And more!

Douglas College just isn’t a place to make friends

ööThe sad truth of our alma mater Cazzy Lewchuk Opinions Editor went to Douglas College for two and a half years, near continuously, taking at least one class every semester—even over the summer. I’ve had a lot of great opportunities. I got an associate’s degree through a really great creative writing program. I saved a lot of money on tuition compared to attending a larger university. I also made some really great friends through getting involved with the very newspaper you’re reading now.

One thing I’m disappointed with in my time here is the lack of a social atmosphere. Although there are a few people I stayed in touch with, I never made a lot of friends in my classes. It could be because I’m a social pariah incapable of making any human connection, but I’m definitely not the only one who’s

Image via thinkstock

I

had this experience. The sad truth is that Douglas just isn’t a very friendly or social place.

We’re not here to make friends. We’re here for an education. Naturally, we want to bond with others and enjoy ourselves in the process. But Douglas’ structure does not loan itself well to having the all-inclusive college experience.

It’s a commuter school; people come from all across the Lower Mainland to study here, often facing hours of commuting time. A lot of us are older, have unique educational goals, or have full-time jobs in addition to our education. While many classes tend to lean towards a certain demographic, every class at Douglas has

a wide range of people.

Naturally, there’s nothing wrong with diversity, and making friends outside of the group you usually do can be a really rewarding experience. But the “birds of a feather” expression remains true: We look for people who share our goals and interests, and that’s not always easy in your classes. This is especially true if you’re not in a designated program, meaning you’re not likely to have more than one or two classes with the same people.

Perhaps more significant to the unfriendly vibe is the general atmosphere of the school. There’s not a lot to do here. As fun as the DSU-organized activities attempt to be, there’s not much to partake in after you get out of class. There aren’t a lot of comfortable areas to socialize in—especially outdoors, unlike other schools. Douglas already feels like a windowless prison,

why would we want to spend any more time in that building?

Beginning and end of semester activities can help to break the social tension, but those are often crowded and perhaps not activities that people who don’t like clubs or pubs would want to be a part of.

It’s even harder when you don’t have friends at the school, and you face the task of attending something like that yourself.

Making friends at Douglas isn’t impossible, but it definitely requires extra effort. If you’re eager to make friends—especially if it’s your first year—talk to others as much as possible and really follow through.

Friends won’t come naturally at Douglas; there are too many limiting factors. Being extra social and friendly is a good activity to pursue in postsecondary, anyways, and you never know what could happen.

Why we can’t let the TPP be swept under the rug Lauren Kelly Editor-in-Chief

T

he Trans-Pacific Partnership is a trade deal that involves 12 Pacific Rim countries, including the US and Canada. The final version of it has already been signed, and it is now waiting to be ratified by the leaders of each country. It will allow free trade between all of the countries involved, hugely opening up our trade options. It will also give more power to corporations, and has the potential to negatively impact copyright laws and internet freedoms. Even though it will have such a broad impact, in recent months it has received very little publicity in favour of the election down south.

It was a hot topic during our election, with Harper being pro-TPP, Mulcair and May being against it, and Trudeau saying he would review it if he was elected and decide then. Since then, Trudeau has signed it, but we are still waiting on his decision on whether to ratify the agreement or not. In line with his platform,

he and his party want feedback from the Canadian people before they make their decision. This is great news, if he actually listens.

The result of the TPP will have a huge impact on the future for each of us, especially millennials, who will be bearing the brunt of the economic changes as we struggle to stay stable.

That’s why it is so important that each and every one of us reviews it, does research, and make an informed decision.

Sign a petition for or against it, contact your local MP, attend a protest, provide feedback to the federal government—make your voice heard, whatever you are saying. It’s easy for a leader to pay lip service and say he or she will listen to the people, but if it’s true in this case, we need to take advantage.

If Canada is the only country to not agree, our economy could take a large hit, but it seems unlikely at this point that the next US president will sign it.

Both Trump and Clinton have come out strongly against the TPP, which is a flip for Clinton,

Image via rabble.ca

ööBringing the Trans-Pacific Partnership back into the limelight

as she was one of the people who worked on it with President Obama. Because of this, some do question whether Clinton will stand by that, or if she’ll ratify it once she’s in office. Obama is still a strong proponent of it,

and he is doing his best to push it while he’s still president.

Whatever happens in the US will affect us greatly, and may also affect Trudeau’s decision. But we can’t just wait for things to play out, while we watch their election

and hope for the best. We live in Canada, and we need to focus our attention here right now. We can’t vote in the US election, no matter how invested some of us are in it, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a difference at home.

opinions // no. 19

issue 2 // volume 43

Don’t fight violent perpetrators by perpetrating violence ööThe cycle of intimidation and fear Cazzy Lewchuk Opinions Editor

E

ver since rapist Brock Turner’s release from prison—after serving only three months of his six-month sentence—the public outcry has been full of anger and a desire to seek revenge. In addition to the internet think pieces, national coverage, and violent threats against Brock and his family, several protestors have hung out around his house with assault rifles and signs calling for the killing of rapists.

The Turners have spoken up, saying they are afraid for

their safety. As many have pointed out, there is some irony in Brock now feeling the fear that victims of sexual assault feel so often. There’s no doubt that rapists are some of the lowest of the low in society, and deserve to be in jail or otherwise answering for their crimes.

Nevertheless, encouraging and threatening violence in response to abusers is wrong, and it happens far too often in society. Fantasies of beating someone up—someone who harmed a loved one or yourself— until they’re screaming or unconscious can be common.

When we hear about the sick

people who physically or sexually abuse others, the desire for revenge and justice is strong and perhaps even natural.

But a call for violence is a call for violence. Desiring for rapists to be stabbed, beaten up, or raped in prison serves to encourage a culture in which people are stabbed, beaten up, or raped. No one ever deserves these things to happen to them—that’s why they’re illegal and looked down on. When we incite these acts to happen to others, we are creating a cycle of violence and becoming the people we despise.

Brock is a bad person. There is no one to blame for his actions

but himself. He deserves nothing but scorn, contempt, and justice for what he did to his victim. We can also feel anger with the judge who served Brock with a sixmonth sentence. We can speak out against the justice system that regularly blames victims, defends rapists, and frequently punishes sexual assault with light sentences. We can condemn and speak out against Brock’s father for defending his son (“20 minutes of action”) and the larger rape culture he echoes.

It’s no wonder young men like Turner continue to believe this sort of behaviour is acceptable.

It’s easy to desire revenge

Putting the ‘fem’ in feminism

THE OTHER PRESS IS HIRING

ööIs it really for men?

Cazzy Lewchuk Opinions Editor

HIRING: ARTS EDITOR

I

Are you passionate about the arts? When there are cultural happenings, both at Douglas College and beyond, are you the first to know? Then you just might have what it takes to be the Other Press’ next Arts Editor.

Image via www.fawcettsociety.org.uk

identify as a feminist. More specifically, by my own identity, I’m an intersectional feminist: I’m a white, straight, cisgender male, part of the very demographic that most often seeks to discredit feminism and enforce a patriarchal (maledominated) society. I believe that feminism means advocating for equal rights and treatment for all women, in a world that has until very recently been completely run and enforced by men.

Most self-identified feminists agree that feminism should be for everyone, and men can wear the label as long as they accurately represent feminist values. I agree and believe that everyone can— and should—be a feminist. At this point, if you’re not a feminist, you’re either misguided about feminism’s goals and definitions, or you’re openly sexist.

Nevertheless, the male in me struggles with the term.

Can I truly be a feminist if I don’t understand the female experience? As with any marginalized group, allies should seek to support the people they advocate for, but not overshadow or directly speak for their needs.

I can certainly identify how I observe women in society and the experiences of the women I know—but I still come from a position of privilege.

Some feminists (whom many would call extreme) do not believe men can/should be feminists, as they are unable to truly represent the movement’s needs. Some even use this to logic to exclude transwomen from feminism, because biologically-

and off-the-cuff justice with the amount of scumbags in the world. It’s a lot harder to have faith in the justice system and struggle with the reforms needed. In a perfect world, no one would ever have to linger outside a rapist’s house— because they would all be in jail, where they belong.

We must all operate within the law when dealing with fellow human beings, no matter how awful they may be. It’s only there that we can find common ground and justice. Otherwise, we run the risk of anarchy and sinking deeper into the cycle of violence.

speaking they are unable to feel the same hormones or perform the same biological functions as ciswomen, at least before hormone replacement therapy.

Although I believe that the threat of radical feminism is greatly exaggerated, it is true that this misinformation can lead to the all-too-common stereotype that “feminists hate men.”

Other feminists (perhaps the same ones I just talked about) prefer the term “feministfriendly” or “feminist ally” for men to describe themselves, so that they do not infringe on the “fem” portion. I discussed this with a range of Facebook friends, and while there may be some bias (I wouldn’t have them on Facebook if I disagreed with them too much) the consensus was the same, and I agree. Men who identify as a “feminist ally” are being lazy: They’re not actively sharing or participating in the movement,

but merely support it. One can be a LGBTQ+ ally if they are not a member of that group. Because feminism includes advocating for gender equality (by elevating women’s societal status) it’s not only welcomed, but essential that men be part of it.

I’m still learning about feminism and regularly seeking to become a better feminist, while not discrediting the many fabulous women who are at the centre of the movement.

As quoted from Tumblr user soultired, and widely spread across the internet: “Men who want to be feminists do not need to be given a space in feminism. They need to take the space they have in society and make it feminist.”

There you have it, boys. We can be part of the movement, but we shouldn’t expect it to cater to us, either. It’s about women and their status—let women be in charge, and follow their example.

The Arts Editor is responsible for coordinating the Arts section on a weekly basis. The successful applicant will be responsible for seven to eight quality, edited arts articles each week—whether by fielding and editing contributions or by writing articles him or herself.

Must haves: • • • • •

Experience with substantive and copy editing (including a strong command of CP style) Experience and familiarity with conducting interviews and arts-style article writing Interest in student and community news and events Strong writing skills Past/present involvement with the college arts scene

Pay: $470/month Interested? Applications are being accepted on a rolling basis. Send your résumé, cover letter, and writing samples to editor@theotherpress.ca by Wednesday, October 5.

HIRING: STAFF WRITER Do you love writing? Want to be more involved with the Douglas College con1n1unity? The Other Press is hiring a Staff Writer!

The Staff Writer is responsible for writing two to three quality articles on a weekly basis. The successful applicant will be responsible for for working closely with current section editors on producing relevant, collge-related content.

Must haves: • • • •

Experience writing, with a history in student journalism a plus Strong writing skills lnterest in student and community news and events Willingness to collaborate with other writers/editors

Pay: $200/month lnterested? Send résumé and writing samples, questions or concerns to editor@theotherpress.ca by Friday, September 30.

theotherpress.ca

opinions // no. 20

Creep catchers busting perverted pigs ööReckless hometown vigilantes Cazzy Lewchuk Opinions Editor group known as the Surrey Creep Catchers has been busting online predators in the act. Posing as teenagers who are under the age of consent, the group seeks out people online and arranges a meetup.

They then bust them Dateline NBC style and call the police.

This group is doing an important job by exposing the sexual predators of society who attempt to meet up with 13-year-olds on the internet.

Those who lure the innocent and attempt or commit statutory rape absolutely deserve to be exposed.

Perhaps most alarming was the bust of an active RCMP officer, who is now facing charges.

Far too often, people get

Image via Surrey McCatch/Facebook

A

away with this kind of behaviour on every level—never facing charges, never going to trial, and being let off with light sentences. More than we know, it involves those in positions of power, who even use their status for personal gain, and to cover up their heinous activities. The Creep Catcher motto is that the

justice system often fails, and there’s no doubt they’re doing what many might call God’s work.

Nevertheless, vigilantism is never okay, and should never be praised. The Creep Catchers have been attacked and punched during their encounters, and any one of the people they lure could file a massive lawsuit. They are

not police, and they do not have the powers or abilities of police, who are trained to deal with the people they seek. Not to mention the borderline illegal activity of it all—there’s a reason why vigilantism is against the law.

It’s hard to condemn someone who seeks to expose powerful people for secretly being pedophiles, but it’s an unfortunate necessity. There are too many risks involved—including the innocents who can easily get caught up. When something of this calibre goes online, it spins out of control. A single misidentified name gets posted as being the one in the video, and that person is now being falsely slandered as a sexual predator.

Authority figures in society are only human—and just like everyone else, you get a lot of bad

people. There’s little doubt that they’re held to higher standards, and perhaps overtly respected without justification. The RCMP has rigorous moral standards— but one of them still attempted to lure an underage teen for sex. It’s not the first time it’s happened, and it probably won’t be the last.

In many areas, law enforcement officials are even more corrupt— police officers in the US and Canada murder unarmed black teenagers all the time, often without any repercussions whatsoever. It’s a difficult topic, but it’s not one that’s solvable by internet vigilantes, either.

It won’t be long until someone is seriously harmed, ruined, or worse from the Creep Catchers business. I applaud what they’re doing—but it’s still not an activity we should condone.

How many of Trump’s supporters really are ‘deplorable’? ööUncovering a racist campaign Cazzy Lewchuk Opinions Editor believe that it is very easy to divide 50 per cent of the population against each other, and that people deserve the benefit of the doubt. I believe that we should not judge each other by our political views, and should seek to find common ground whenever possible.

Broad, blanket statements about large groups of people are almost always inaccurate, and usually come from a place of ignorance and generalization.

I believe that Donald Trump is the worst candidate for president, ever. At best, he is incompetent and laughable, but he’s often much worse, encouraging and inciting racism, violence, xenophobia, and war-mongering. His vague, often flip-flopping policies demonstrate that he really doesn’t have a clue on what being president involves. His lack of experience and general bonehead views disqualify him from being anywhere near nuclear weapon launch codes.

Nevertheless, millions of Americans support him, and will vote for him in the November election, unless he ends up going to jail for shooting a child, which would not be surprising. After all, he did actually say: “I could shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any supporters.” In addition, Trump’s lawsuit for raping a 13-year-

Image via www.hercampus.com

I

old girl begins preliminary hearings next month.

How such a moron has so many supporters is mindboggling to so many in the US and around the world.

His surface popularity can be understood—he’s a big celebrity, and a political outsider. When his campaign began, many viewed him as a novelty candidate.

As his true colours shined and he became the official party nominee, many were divided over his outrageous racist views

and incompetency, but just as many flocked to someone who “says what’s on his mind.”

Ironically and hilariously, much of Trump’s popularity comes from his more progressive views. Unlike most Republicans, he’s expressed acceptance for the LGBTQ+ community, abortion, and raising the minimum wage.

He also opposes big money in politics and the TPP—just like his polar opposite, Bernie Sanders. Trump has also repeatedly lied, contradicted

himself, and flip-flopped on virtually every position he’s had. He’ll say anything to gain votes and support.

Hillary Clinton recently came under controversy for referring to half of Trump’s supporters as “deplorable.” She rightfully called out his campaign for operating on and normalizing racism and bigotry. White supremacists are vocal supporters of Trump, and he’s been incredibly reluctant to disavow these people. She later regretted the comments after

heavy criticism, and rightfully admitted many of his supporters are normal Americans fed up with the system, but continued to argue that many of his supporters are unsavoury.

There’s a difference between being a vocal, die-hard Trump fan and someone who begrudgingly votes for him in November.

One can support a candidate or political party for general viewpoints, while not caring or agreeing with some of their personal views or characteristics.

Democrats do it, Republicans do it—it’s what the majority of voters do in most elections. This is exactly what’s going on for so many in the Republican party.

Many have disavowed Trump, but ultimately many will vote for him simply because he’s the Republican candidate. Maybe you don’t like Hillary, you don’t like the Democratic platform, or you really support Republican values. It’s a two-party system—if you can’t beat them, join them.

Not all of the 40 million or more Americans who will vote Trump are deplorable. But an alarming amount of his die-hard supporters really are awful people who support racism, bigotry, and values that just aren’t okay in a free society. Anti-immigration and anti-refugee sentiments are racist traits, and are far more common than we realize.

Still, it’s a safe bet that a good portion of those 40 million really are deplorable—or at least, not people you’d invite over for tea.

Have an idea for a story?  humour@theotherpress.ca

Humour

OO New Douglas student ‘figures it out’ within first week of general studies OO Panicked student forgets homework; produces a stirring, award-nominated, one-man improv show OO Obligatory complaint article about the hill And more!

Seasoning the means of production ööMy favorite things about fall Mercedes Deutscher News Editor

inished is the summer, which means that my favourite season has returned.

Is there anything really to hate about fall? Nothing feels better than the crisp autumn air, the delicious pumpkin treats, and watching the fall of the bourgeoisie. Yes, it indeed Marx a very special time of year.

While the heat withered me and kept me exhausted, the declining temperatures help me feel woke and refreshed.

Just the other day, I rummaged through my closet and dug out my boots, which were made lovingly by the proletariat. Summer clothing makes me sweat, but my cozy jacket, adorned with union patches, will keep me feeling warm while the one per cent take their turn at sweating. Alas, there is no better time than fall for a rally, for the masses are once again focused on how the wealthy benefit most off of education, and how the strong continue to crush the weak.

Image via thinkstock

F

In September and October, I like to indulge in pumpkin spice lattes, as I enjoy the taste of a sustainable, unlimited resource—but only natural, non-corporate lattes. Not those pumpkin spice lattes that seek to

fulfil insatiable demand, while operating on limited resources, in order to accumulate capital.

There are so many activities to do in the fall, such as going on hay rides and going through pumpkin patches. We can

celebrate Thanksgiving, a holiday that commemorates the rise of colonial privilege that destroyed the socialist ways of the Aboriginal peoples, in order to make way for the imprisoning free market and

a broken American Dream.

Fall also represents a time of self-improvement. Whilst the children go back to school with an organized mindset, keeping their studies carefully planned out in their agendas, so will the agendas of the oligarchy be filled with their greed and disgust. A renewed school year also allows one to start anew with a fresh mindset, such as the realization that reasoning and morality will not appeal to our oppressors, and that only violence will.

Yet perhaps my favourite thing about fall is the colours.

My eyes are mesmerized by the falling leaves, in shades of red, yellow, and brown that match the condition we left the Tsar in in the midst of our revolution.

The leaves fall as easily as he did. We will be free to live in an anti-capitalist society and spread the communist manifesto to the citizens.

I must enjoy this season while it lasts, as winter approaches. Soon, I will have to prepare my coat to go into the cold—be it the temperature… or the war.

Disappearing Donald ööTrump missing in action Adam Tatelman Arts Editor

I

n the wake of his deafening approach to public discourse on every subject from immigration to national security, controversial Republican candidate Donald Trump seems to have vanished entirely.

Donald’s suit, tie, and blonde comb-over were discovered lying on the floor of his Trump Tower penthouse by his personal security staff, who initially assumed he was taking a shower. Upon pinging his subcutaneous locator implant, they were able to deduce that he was in fact nowhere on the planet.

To solve this mystery, psychic mediums consulted the ghost of Lewis Carrol, author of such surreal works as Jabberwocky and Alice in Wonderland, in the hopes that he might shed some light on this nonsense.

“It’s not a question of logic,” Carrol’s erudite shade explained, puffing on an ectoplasmic tobacco pipe, “but popularity. You say there’s been a sharp decline in Donnie Boy’s media coverage, so if he

is no longer corporeal, the only explanation can be that people have stopped believing in him.”

This raises the question of whether or not Trump ever actually existed, or if he was instead the fantastical

result of a collective psychic delusion, much like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, balanced game design, and liberal democratic government.

Could it be that, if enough media outlets were to report on

Donald Trump again, he might return? It is impossible to say for certain, but wizardry expert J.K. Rowling has suggested referring to him as “You-Know-Who” for the time being, just in case.

theotherpress.ca

humour // no. 22

Unintentionally inappropriate vintage ads

“They’re dead now! ”

by David Manky, Senior Columnist

BREAKING: New Douglas student ‘figures it out’ within first week of general studies ööEntire life plan realized after a few classes at Douglas Chandler Walter Assistant Editor new Douglas College student learned more than he thought he would within the first week of General Studies classes.

Paul Adrifton, a first-year student at Douglas College, had signed up for the minimum amount of classes necessary to be considered a full-time student.

“Yeah, my parents were really getting on me to do something, and I didn’t want to go into a trade right away, so I figured I would take some classes at Douglas because it was so close to my house,” he said.

His parents had said that he could take a few classes at Douglas to figure out what he wanted to do in life, and that a stimulating learning environment would help him do so. None of them imagined what would come after Adrifton’s first week of classes.

Adrifton registered in Intro to Poetry, History 1100, and Intro to Philosophy: Critical Thinking.

“The classes were great,”

Image via thinkstock

A

Adrifton said, “and everyone was really nice. I wasn’t all that into any of the subjects, but it was nice to be back in the classroom.

“I’ve decided I want to be a biochemical engineer,” continued Adrifton. “The salary is roughly $120,000, and it will cost me an initial $40,000 for schooling, and 6 years of my life.

That’s a fair price to pay, as I will own a cabin for my future wife Jennifer and I to vacation to.”

Adrifton said that he had his epiphany while daydreaming in history class. “I pictured my future dog, Henry, and my future children, James and Lily, playing by the lake. Oh, what memories we will have there! It’s just too bad that my future job is so demanding, but that’s the price you pay for comfort, I guess!”

Adrifton stated that having his life entirely figured out somehow both calms him and

gives him anxiety.

“Well, it’s just nice to have everything figured out, though it’s kind of freaky to know exactly when it all will end, you know? Also the future divorce does not look all that fun, and I wish she could leave me Henry…

But now I have ‘a plan’ to tell my parents about, at least.”

Adrifton does not claim that he can see the future, just that after a few classes at Douglas, the

future became a lot less foggy.

“And to think, I was going to drop out of that history class, if it wasn’t for me needing it to keep my U-Pass!”

Adrifton is continuing his General Studies courses until next semester, when he plans on taking a full 20 credit courseload in chemistry, biology, and calculus, and states that he will “probably have around a 3.61 GPA” in his upcoming semester.

humour // no. 23

issue 2 // volume 43

Panicked student forgets homework; produces a stirring, award-nominated, one-man improv show

Obligatory complaint article about the hill ööIt’s a big hill alright

ööPerformance cited as ‘One of the best this season has offered so far’ Rebecca Peterson Humour Editor ast Friday, the students of Economics 102: The Economicking were treated to a completely improvised, incredibly moving one-man show in place of a five-minute oral presentation on “The Law of Supply and Demand.”

“No one could look away from what was happening in front of us,” one witness said, wiping tears from her eyes. “Even the prof was blown away by it.”

The performer in question was first-year student Lars Sander, who is neither a theatre major nor an economics major.

According to witnesses, his show included a perfectlymetred Shakespearean soliloquy bemoaning his personal failures, a juggling act using textbooks and school supplies, and, finally, a heartfelt ballad begging forgiveness from an unknowable entity of deified proportions.

When asked what inspired the young man to perform such an inspiring piece of theatre, Sander replied: “Well, to be honest, I completely forgot I even had a presentation that day. I would have winged it, but I didn’t do the readings either and I know [redacted]-all about economics. The stress got to me and I completely blacked out. When I came out of it, everyone was clapping, so I guess it all worked out in the end.”

Image via thinkstock

L

Word of Sander’s performance reached the Vancouver Fringe Festival, and the show was quickly nominated for both the Artistic Risk Award (celebrating those who push the boundaries of live theatre) and the Site-Specific Award (given to those who make creative use of an unconventional venue for their performance). Sadly, the performance was beat out by

some of the bigger shows the Fringe Festival had to offer this year, but Sander did walk away with a participation trophy and a certificate that simply read, “See you next year!”

“The most important thing is that I got an extension on the assignment out of it,” Sander told the Other Press. “I’ve got till Monday to get it finished- wait, what day is it? Oh, [redacted].”

I

t’s that time of year again: The time for satire articles about pumpkin spice lattes, school supplies shopping, and other “start of school, start of fall”-type subjects. In the unending well of back-toschool humour clichés that has yet to run dry (or at the very least, is aided by the fact that not many readers are likely to remember what was published in the Humour section last year), there is the hill.

If you’ve never been to the New Westminster Douglas College campus, you might not know of its existence. If you’re a Douglas College athlete who works out far more than your average Other Press section editor, and has a substantial level of fitness, you might not have even registered that it is, in fact, a comically steep hill.

Just a ridiculously hard hill to climb. It’s awful, but hey, if you’re an athlete you can probably do sprints up the hill.

You probably crush hills like that all the time. Heck, you can probably climb a flight of stairs

without losing your breath, too, or getting that weird, rushing, dizzy feeling in your head.

It must be nice to be fit.

Getting back to the hill, though. If you’re not a superstar athlete, the hill is daunting, at the very least. If your paycheque is reliant on you sitting at your laptop and writing humorous articles about big hills and not, say, actively moving around and building up muscle and stamina, the hill ensures that you’ll show up to class sweating, breathless, and with makeup trailing down your face because no amount of setting spray can keep it in place after you’ve climbed Mount Killa-man-Douglas and you can’t afford the more expensive longwear stuff you keep meaning to buy because you’re a poor student and not the billionaire popstar that 6-year-old you thought you’d be at 22.

Where was I going with this?

Right. The hill. It’s a big steep hill. Someone should really do something about it.

But if nothing is done, at the very least, we can write another article about it next year.

Image via thinkstock

Rebecca Peterson Humour Editor

by Anthony Labonte