Canada’s Public Service

A GUIDE TO GOLDBERGIAN MANAGEMENT PRACTICES IN Canada’s public service

Evidence indicates that the federal public service has been quietly moving away from the classical bureaucratic management theory of Max Weber. According to Weber, the hierarchical, rational approach to management is preferable to whims and the irrational emotions and predilections of managers. But, if present-day practices are any indication, Weber’s theories are being relegated to the junk bin of obsolescence.

Reuben Garrett Lucius Goldberg (1883- 1970) was a Pulitzer Prize-winning political cartoonist whose depictions of elaborate, pointless machines made him a wry commentator of bureaucratic structures. Have Weber’s principles been slowly phased out in favour of the Goldbergian machine paradigm? Gone, it seems, are the anachronistic anchors of Weberianstyle bureaucracy: the proper division of labour (silos); chain of command (top-down authority); separation of personal and professional time and property (home is home, and work is work); the application of clear and consistent rules (this is the way it’s done), and; selection and promotion based on qualifications (meritocracy).

Poking fun at the public service is as easy as ribbing a postie because an Xmas card arrived in August. It’s really not that person’s fault, but you can’t help but wonder how it happened. Think of the classic, 3-dimensional Mouse Trap kids’ game from the 1960s, and you’ll understand why Goldberg is the new patron saint of bureaucracy. His portrait should be emblazoned on the ‘Welcome to Ottawa’ sign. It is worth exploring some of the evidence.

Think of the classic, 3-dimensional Mouse Trap kids’ game from the 1960s, and you’ll understand why Goldberg is the new patron saint of bureaucracy.

Contracting and consultants: Six women from Rideau Hall attended a meeting to receive the winner of a national jewellery design competition. A contract was issued to commission a new product for recipients of a prestigious award. Entry in this national competition was voluntary; implying, according to Goldbergian theory, that the winner should have assumed that a contract is both a contract and not a contract. It is a Zen koan. The six women representing the GG could modify, convolute, or scuttle the invitee’s attempt to complete the commission without warning or good manners. And don’t expect a plausible explanation. Said invitee, operating under the obsolete Weberian model, wrongly assumed that a national call for submissions meant that the project was serious, warranted the effort and expense, and was more than a digthe-ditch/fill-the-ditch time filler for six women and Canada’s professional community of creative hobos.

is a battleground, and one of the public servant thinking as one would applying heuristic, trial-and-error, most stressful work environments a think design kitchen appliances or methods depicted by Goldberg himself. Canadian can endure, ranking closely jargon. Think design facilitators work Come up with the most convoluted, behind landmine removal. No wonder closely with public servants whose elaborate scheme to achieve the it took six of them to commission a business cards read “Multi stakeholder simplest solution. All it takes is a piece of jewellery; coincidentally, the agent of change” in both official bottomless pit of money, endless public same number of commanders it took languages and braille. consultation to ensure transparency, to plan D-day; one for each beach, plus and a few sticks of dynamite in 25 one extra in case General Eisenhower Team-building exercise: n. meaning, years when the sidewalks still roll up. decided to take a ‘me’ day. Said jewellery wear your favourite hockey team jersey Everybody feels included; nobody invitee needs to take the soaring levels or bring your favouritest stuffed animal gets blamed. Goldberg. Perhaps there of PTSD at Rideau Hall into account, to a golf course for a day-long retreat, is a more efficient use for that stick of and accept that there are only so many led by high-billing mindfulness experts dynamite. canapés that any one GG staffer can who will teach you to eat a meal as consume before the debilitating effects the French do, mindful of every Hiring practices: Apply for a job make it impossible to return a phone bite, followed by warrior yoga, all in these days and you might be handed call or pay an outstanding invoice. preparation for a sharing session that a diversity survey think designed to Nevertheless, what lowly Canadian will help you identify your inner animal inform managers of an applicant’s artist, invitation in hand, wants to have guide. Office efficiency will improve inborn qualifications. Traditional the Vice-Regal front door slammed in dramatically knowing the ‘otters’ are cultural knowledge is deeply valued the face? Next time, study Goldberg good at ‘offlish’ and the skunks should in a Goldbergian public service. before you sign a government contract, refrain from ‘othering’. For example, a person of Lebanese/ and remember; it’s not about Phoenician descent (i.e. moi) deliverables, it’s about the mouse naturally possesses hereditary trap. It took six of them (bureaucrats) knowledge of the phonetic alphabet Public Service training to commission a piece of jewellery; and systems that use Arabic numerals, and is therefore perfectly suited to programs: Canada’s public service coincidentally, the same number virtually any job that requires using is a world leader in applied language training, but the Weberian view of of commanders it took to plan D-day; a keyboard. language is that of a utility meant one for each beach, plus one extra For the first time since 1967, there for the efficient communication of ideas, orders, and policies. The in case General Eisenhower is once again a place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation. vocabularies of Dickens and Molière decided to take a ‘me’ day. Another survey in circulation leave little room for whimsy, and delves into a prospective employee’s cannot accommodate new, ephemeral preferred intimate partner type(s); concepts pertinent to the 21st century Project management: Sparks (or, a line of inquiry that would offend workplace. Here are four definitions Here-we-go-again) Street rolls up any applicant from a more traditional of commonly used terminology its sidewalks like everywhere else in culture, whose face would turn purple that assume no responsibility for town; but, for some reason, Sparks by such blunt nosiness. Even Joan clarification: sidewalks should be twirling with Rivers would blush. Such an applicant care-free exoticism night and day. The may also have difficulty selecting from Othering: v. meaning, to imply, through problem is that a significant portion the 11 gender identities, nine more words, actions, or private thoughts that of the buildings on this once-vibrant than anyone from off-world was ever another is another other than oneself, shopping street are now occupied by taught by their parents. Edification is according to oneself’s identity or sense stuffy, lifeless federal agencies of little not provided for those wishing to keep of selfness, or; in the case of someone or no interest to the general public, like abreast of the gender zeitgeist. The HR else who sees themselves as the other the Library of Parliament or the CBC. person who put it all together will refer oneself rather than themselves. No wonder it takes chili poutine to you to the webpage from which he/ liven the place up. she/singular-they copied and pasted Offlish: n. meaning, bureaucratic to create the survey. New Canadians, jargon, or jargon for jargon. To confuse, But more must be done, like new if you feel excluded from the inclusion to ‘other’ by employing jargon to refer benches and fountains; a brilliant (or ‘othered’), you should get with the to jargon. solution resulting from think design Goldberg program. It’s all meant to by the NCC and the City of Ottawa make for a better public service. n Think design: n. meaning, to design thinking for the purpose of improving thinking design. To apply design This article was written for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to situations, practices employed in industrial design persons, or other living things you may have encountered within the Public Service of to bureaucratic practices, as in; think of Canada, its management, or subsidiary agencies is purely in your mind

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