Be Present

Just the other day I came home from work after spending long hours at the office and many more stuck in traffic. I walked into the house and as I looked intensely at my sofa I had an internal debate about whether I should lie on it and vegetate or start preparing dinner; the debate was brief, and the sofa won! I laid there, on my phone, of course, surfing through social media, reading through my emails, and texting my co-worker about the day's shenanigans; as if we didn’t do enough talking at the office. My son came out of his room where he had been doing homework, sat next to me, and started talking about school and something else, I couldn’t tell you what that something else was about because although I asked him, “sweetheart, how was your day?” I continued to surf through my phone and vegetate. My son continued to talk to me about his day, and suddenly raised his voice and said “mom, are you listening?” I responded, “yes, of course.” And he asked me to repeat what he said, I couldn’t. He then said to me that I was hearing him but not actually listening. He was right! A had a sudden revelation, I was not being present! I was doing the exact thing I was complaining about other parents doing. Children are desperately trying to get their attention, while parents walk aimlessly staring at their phones and unconsciously dismissing their children’s need for attention. It is important that we remember to be present for our children. To prioritize our time with them. There is nothing wrong with spending your “me time” on your phone or doing whatever it is that helps you relax after a long day at work. However, it is important to be present and fully engaged when our children are around since our time with them is short but of significant impact. Children will naturally model their parent’s behavior. Some experts in the respective field suggest that the amount of quality time we spend with our children will greatly influence their future success in life. What example are we setting for our children? What kind of role models do we hope to be for them and what are we doing to achieve it?

By Ivis Mateos