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For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they
o SEASONS OF MOTHERHOOD
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. [ ECCLESIASTES 3:1 ]
As a pastor, I’ve ministered to many women during their seasons of motherhood. I have called on mothers in the hospital and rejoiced with them for their precious babies. I’ve counselled anxious mothers and tried to assure them that God was watching over their rebellious teenagers. I’ve stood with mothers at the bedside of an injured or ill child and felt their pain. And I’ve cried with them in their grief when their son or daughter died.
Mary, the mother of Jesus, also experienced these times of joy and sorrow. What joy when the Christ-child was born! (LUKE 2:7). What excitement when the shepherds and later the wise men came to worship Him! (VV.8-20; MATTHEW 2:1-12). What uneasiness when Simeon prophesied that a sword would pierce her soul! (LUKE 2:35). And what heart-wrenching grief as Mary watched her Son dying on the cross! (JOHN 19:25-30). But her seasons of motherhood didn’t end with that terrible scene. She rejoiced that He rose from the grave. And because she trusted Him as her Saviour, she is now in heaven with Him.
A mother experiences great joys and intense sorrows. But if she submits her life to God, every season of her motherhood serves His eternal purposes. HERB VANDER LUGT
Motherhood is a sacred partnership with God.
1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
Notes
o LEARNING FROM LEANDRA
If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
[ JOHN 15:5 ]
Leandra is three years old.” She has bright brown eyes and a very good mind. One day I was babysitting her, and she was watching her brother Max play games on my computer. Suddenly she announced that she was going to get a snack. “I do it myself!” she said emphatically.
“I’ll help you,” I said, and began to follow her. She repeated firmly, “I do it myself!” I watched her walk down the stairs. She turned, saw me and said, “You stay upstairs, Grandpa. Keep an eye on Max.” I tried not to laugh. At the bottom of the stairs she turned back, put one hand on her hip and said, “I mean it, Grandpa!” I backed out of sight and roared with laughter. Later I checked on her. She had opened the refrigerator, found some pudding and got a spoon, but she needed me to open the container for her.
I thought later that there’s a lot of that spirit of independence in me. I too want to “do it myself” when it comes to growing and serving as a believer in Jesus Christ. Yet I need to realise that even though I may think I don’t need His help, I really do. Without it, I am unable to produce the kind of spiritual fruit Jesus talked about in John 15.
We must remember the words of our Lord, who said, “apart from me you can do nothing” (JOHN 15:5). DAVE EGNER
You can depend on the Lord. Can the Lord depend on you?
24 And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so. 25 God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” 27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. 28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” 29 Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so. 31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.
o CREATED IN GOD’S IMAGE
I will praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. [ PSALM 139:14 ]
The colourful folder I received through the mail advertised a series of books describing “the most fascinating study of man’s origin ever published”. The slick advertisement suggests that through eons of time primitive matter evolved into living creatures that eventually became modern man. From this pseudoscientific presentation I can only conclude that my existence and the existence of my children is the result of a chemical accident, and that my life has no real purpose. We are pathetic animals indeed!
The Bible declares that all of us are brought into being by a special act of the Creator Himself, who breathed into us “the breath of life” (GENESIS 2:7). He was made in the image of God that he might live for Him and enjoy Him forever.
If we believe we are the products of chance, however, without meaning or destiny, our behaviour will merely reflect a concern for ‘the next banana’ and we will simply teach our children to do the same. But because we are made in the likeness of God, our lives have significance. We are to manifest in thought, word and deed the eternal glory and purpose of our Designer—the One who revealed Himself in Jesus Christ!
Recognising that you are created in God’s image and are not just an animal, how will you live today? What will you teach your children about how important they are to Him? MART DEHAAN
All of creation bears God’s autograph.
1 Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him. 2 You will eat the fruit of your labour; blessings and prosperity will be yours. 3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots round your table. 4 Yes, this will be the blessing for the man who fears the Lord.
5 May the Lord bless you from Zion; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life. 6 May you live to see your children’s children— peace be on Israel.
Notes
o PARENTS’ 10 COMMANDS
The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him.
[ PROVERBS 23:24 ]
Children come without guarantees. No matter how well we take care of them, they don’t always perform as we think they should. They’re hard to steer. Or they may lose their ‘brakes’. But this doesn’t mean we as parents are without responsibility. We must help our children grow into godly people. Author David Wilkerson said, “Good parents do not always produce good children, but devoted, dedicated, hardworking mothers and fathers can weigh the balance in favour of decency and moral character.”
To assist in your quest to be good parents, here are ten commandments for guiding children. 1. Teach them, using God’s Word (DEUTERONOMY 6:4-9). 2. Tell them what’s right and wrong (1 KINGS 1:6). 3. See them as gifts from God (PSALM 127:3). 4. Guide them in godly ways (PROVERBS 22:6). 5. Discipline them (PROVERBS 29:17). 6. Love them unconditionally (LUKE 15:11-32). 7. Do not provoke them to wrath (EPHESIANS 6:4). 8. Earn their respect by example (1 TIMOTHY 3:4). 9. Provide for their physical needs (1 TIMOTHY 5:8). 10. Pass your faith along to them (2 TIMOTHY 1:5).
There are no guarantees. But we can have an edge in trying to “weigh the balance”. DAVE BRANON
The character of your children tomorrow may depend on what you teach them today.
HOW CAN A PARENT FIND PEACE OF MIND?
As parents, it’s natural to wonder about the future. We may find ourselves wishing that God had assured us of predictable results.
It is actually more loving, however, to parent our children without such a confidence. By looking at the way our heavenly Father has loved us, we’ll see that parenting is worth the effort— not because our children always make the right choices but because we’ve had the opportunity and privilege and peace of loving them the way our heavenly Father has loved us.
Accepting a Limited Guarantee
Good parenting doesn’t guarantee good children. It only assures that our children will have the tremendous advantage of having had a good parent. Think about the God of the Bible. He was a perfect parent. But look at His children. Adam and Eve were raised in the best of environments. Yet they threw it all away and gave birth to a murderer.
Then came Israel, a dearly loved nation who repeatedly and chronically became the incorrigible, rebellious child. Then came the church, who time after time has given her Father a bad name all over the earth.
It’s regrettable when parents experience false guilt because they believe that if they do the right things their children will always turn out well. The truth is that if we do well, our children will be blessed with a good foundation. But there are no guarantees.
Learning How to Play the Game
Tennis can be played two ways. It can be played with the kind of sportsmanship that is gracious in winning and gracious in losing. Or tennis can be played merely for the win and the money. The latter is the legacy of some of the pros who have marred the dignity of the game with court-side tantrums, profanity and bitter excuses.
Parents have similar options. They can concentrate on developing The Lord taught their own self-control, skill and His people not to reactions. Or they can try to divert attention from their own blame others for weaknesses by blaming others for their own choices. their problems.
Our first parents started rolling the ball of blame. Adam blamed Eve. Eve blamed the snake. The devil-snake undoubtedly blamed God. But God held Adam responsible for his choices. He made Eve accountable for what she decided to do. The snake didn’t get off the hook either.
Today we may say that our parenting problems are the result of our own parents’ mistakes. There may be a lot of truth to that. But a long time ago, the Lord taught His people not to blame others for their own choices. He objected to a proverb used to diminish a sense of personal responsibility for people’s own actions: “The parents eat sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge” (EZEKIEL 18:2).
Scripture also shows, however, that being under the influence of our own parents does not suspend responsibility
for how we choose to respond to that influence. It is up to us to choose whether we will unconsciously follow the example of our parents, consciously aspire to it or deliberately choose another path.
An immature adolescent may push us to the limits. An alcoholic father or neurotic mother may hover in our memories. But none of them gives us an excuse to be angry, argumentative or abusive in our own behaviour.
Going Back to School
Just about the time we think we have our education behind us, along comes a strong-willed, growing toddler who quickly pushes us to our wits’ end. Suddenly we find ourselves back in ‘school’ again. We begin to realise that parenting isn’t just a matter of slowly dumping our accumulated knowledge into fresh, receptive, mouldable, hungry minds. Once again we begin looking for more answers.
As we pick up the dry-erase marker of parental wisdom, we find that the whiteboard has become greasy and unaccepting of our enthusiastic desire to write and teach something wonderful. This resistance to our teaching will last for as long as we have our children. We will find that with few exceptions they learn best when we are looking the other way.
This isn’t the way we want it. We think a child should be a fresh and empty document onto which we can transfer all of the knowledge we wish we had taken to heart when we were their age.
Yet learning is occurring whether we realise it or not. We are learning something about the heart of God, which overflows with love for the little ones bearing His name and likeness. We are learning something about His joy. We are learning about
We need to grow in His insight, His self-control.
the pain He feels when He sees His children turn away from His loving correction (ISAIAH 1:2).
We are learning a lot about ourselves. We find that these little ones are bringing out the best in us, and the worst. But even the worst isn’t all bad. Our frayed nerves, anxiety and anger can do the same thing for us as a headache or a fever. The temptation to shout and scream, or throw around our parental authority (“Because I said so, that’s why!”) are symptoms that must not be ignored.
These reactions tell us that we still have much to learn about what God can do in us. We need to grow in His insight, His selfcontrol, His ability to move us with dignity through the challenges of leading a little ‘centre of the universe’ to maturity. In the knowledge that this is good for us, there is peace.
1 Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 2 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3 now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. 4 As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him—5 you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 6 For in Scripture it says:
“See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” 7 Now to you who believe, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe,
“The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone,” 8 and,
“A stone that causes people to stumble and a rock that makes them fall.”
They stumble because they disobey the message—which is also what they were destined for. 9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
o GROW!
Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation.
[ 1 PETER 2:2 ]
Whenever children visit relatives, they often hear this kind of greeting: “My, haven’t you grown!” This embarrasses them, but inside they’re glad they’ve outgrown babyhood. Not that babyhood is bad. How else can life begin? But it is sad when we see children failing to grow in their maturity.
Sometimes mature Christians, eager to keep new converts from stagnating in their growth, make them feel guilty for being babies and rush them down the road to maturity before they are ready.
In 1 Peter 2, the apostle affirmed that spiritual babyhood is normal. Instead of forcing newborns to run before they can walk, he encouraged them to crave the wholesome milk of Christ’s basic teaching. He knew that as they continued to take in milk, in time they would move on to solid food and maturity (HEBREWS 5:14). What a joy to see that happen!
Several years ago I received a phone call from a friend, a former drug addict and now a Christian. “Hi, Chris,” I responded cheerily. “How are you doing?” A long, worrisome pause made me wonder, Has he slipped back? Then came words that uplifted my heart: “Growing, Joanie, growing!” That said it all.
I hope you can say the same. As we help our children grow, let’s remember to rely on God for this parenting journey. After all, in Christ, we’re not done growing either! JOANIE YODER
The Christian life is more like climbing a mountain than riding an elevator.
8 Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me. But you ask, “How are we robbing you?” “In tithes and offerings. 9 You are under a curse—your whole nation—because you are robbing me. 10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. 11 I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,” says the Lord Almighty. 12 “Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the Lord Almighty.
Notes
o FEARLESS GIVING
Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. [ MALACHI 3:10 ]
When my son Xavier was six years old, a friend brought her toddler to visit and Xavier wanted to give him a few toys. I delighted in our little giver’s generosity, until he offered a stuffed animal my husband had searched several shops in different cities to find. Recognising the high-demand toy, my friend tried to politely decline. Still, Xavier placed his gift into her son’s hands and said, “My daddy gives me lots of toys to share.”
Though I’d like to say Xavier learned his confident giving from me, I’ve often withheld my resources from God and others. But when I remember that my heavenly Father gives me everything I have and need, it’s easier to share.
In the Old Testament, God commanded the Israelites to trust Him by giving a portion of all He had supplied to the Levite priests, who would in turn help others in need. When the people refused, the prophet Malachi said they were robbing the Lord (MALACHI 3:8–9). But if they gave willingly, showing they trusted the Lord’s promised provision and protection (VV. 10–11), others would recognise them as God’s blessed people (V. 12).
Whether we’re opening our homes to others, giving gifts or just making time for people, giving can be an act of worship and a great witness to our children. Giving freely and fearlessly can show our confidence in the care of our loving Father—the ultimate generous Giver. XOCHITL DIXON
Lord, please help us live with full confidence in Your faithful provision, so we can give freely and fearlessly to You and others. Fearless giving to God and others reveals our trust in the Lord’s promises and provision.
18 David asked, “Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” 2 Now there was a servant of Saul’s household named Ziba. They summoned him to appear before David, and the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?”
“At your service,” he replied. 3 The king asked, “Is there no one still alive from the house of Saul to whom I can show God’s kindness?”
Ziba answered the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan; he is lame in both feet.” 4 “Where is he?” the king asked.
Ziba answered, “He is at the house of Makir son of Ammiel in Lo Debar.” 5 So King David had him brought from Lo Debar, from the house of Makir son of Ammiel. 6 When Mephibosheth son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, came to David, he bowed down to pay him honour.
David said, “Mephibosheth!”
“At your service,” he replied. 7 “Don’t be afraid,” David said to him, “for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table.”
Notes
o GREATLY VALUED
Mephibosheth ate at David’s table like one of the king’s sons. [ 2 SAMUEL 9:11 ]
Afactory worker and his wife were excited when, after many years of marriage, they discovered they were going to have their first child. According to author Jill Briscoe, who told this true story, the man eagerly relayed the good news to his fellow workers. He told them God had answered his prayers. But they made fun of him for asking God for a child.
When the baby was born, he was diagnosed as having Down’s syndrome. As the father made his way to work for the first time after the birth, he wondered how to face his co-workers. “God, please give me wisdom,” he prayed. Just as he feared, some said mockingly, “So, God gave you this child!” The new father stood for a long time, silently asking God for help. At last he said, “I’m glad the Lord gave this child to me and not to you.”
As this man accepted his disabled son as God’s gift to him, so David was pleased to show kindness to Saul’s grandson who was “lame in both feet” (2 SAMUEL 9:3). Some may have rejected Mephibosheth because he was lame, but David’s action showed that he valued him greatly.
In God’s eyes, every person is important. He sent His only Son to die for us. May we remember with gratitude how much He values each human life. DAVE BRANON
