Conflict Corner: Did You Hear Me?

By Barbara A. Bailey, PhD

No answer is an answer. Tick, tock, tick. Did you hear me? Tick, tock, tick.

No answer…is an answer.

Avoidance represents one of the five conflict management styles and has its place in your tool kit. But a quick way to start or fuel a conflict is to avoid the other person who might not understand why avoidance could be the best response at that time.

Avoiding someone and ignoring someone are different. Need more time to get your emotions under control – avoid. Not sure of your response yet – avoid. Not your business to get involved – avoid. Avoid means you are or could be vested in an outcome to a conflict and you just might “need a minute.”

Ignoring someone is an entirely different thing. Ignoring someone can be interpreted as a lack of engagement, involvement, or concern. Many times, it is a way to play power games, often not because you thought about it, but because your emotions got in the way and you reacted.

In my experience, ignoring can be replaced by avoidance through communication with the other party and lead to an outcome for both parties to be heard. Example: You receive a text that “gets you going.” You need a little time before you respond. The other person texts again. “Did you get my text? Are you ignoring me?” A text back with

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