OUT ON FILM: Coming Out Colton

OUT ON FILM

COMING OUT COLTON

A new Netflix docu-series has been released following the coming out journey of NFL and reality star Colton Underwood ....

At the beginning of December, Netflix aired a 5-part docuseries Coming Out Colton, the coming out story of American NFL player and the winner of the Bachelor reality series, Colton Underwood.

Coming Out Colton follows the parts, people and important issues in his life that affected his coming out story. His family, who are hugely supportive, the sport that made him a superstar and the primary reason for living in the closet, his faith which denied him being his true self, his friends and his public persona as a football and reality star.

The series is engrossing and whilst most of us are not famous, drop-dead gorgeous or living in the spotlight, there are common dilemmas that every gay person faces at some point on the journey to facing and accepting their sexuality in a world that condemns, ridicules, and ostracises people based on their LGBT sexual identity.

Coming out for everyone is different. We all deal with it in different ways, but which ever way one chooses to do it, it is a brave, life-altering experience. For some it isn’t a long, drawn-out process, for others it may take years and some people never pluck up the courage to come out at all. And the journey is ongoing. One will need to come out over and over as one meets new people, embarks on new careers, when travelling to places where no one knows you and you don’t know their attitudes and how they will react. I came out at 19, and at the age of 67 I still find myself in situations where I will be less open about my true identity until I am comfortable with the people or situation. Knowing that there is the death penalty for gay people in a country I recently visited, drove me straight (pun) back into the closet, if only for a short while… It happens…

Straight people don’t have to do it. They don’t have to struggle with how they will be accepted once they reveal to the world, that they are straight. They don’t face the disappointment and possible rejection by family, friends, fellow worshippers, teammates, employers, or anyone else they come in to contact with. For gay people, and sometimes more especially those that reach the pinnacle of their chosen sport or profession, the fear of rejection is very real. So congratulations to anyone that has the courage to do so publicly. And yes, Colton Underwood after coming out on a national morning chat show in the United States got hundreds of hate messages, but crucially he received thousands of messages of support.

I read an article by a gay man in Esquire Magazine (6 Dec 2021) which essentially slated him for coming out publicly as a publicity stunt. “It was gayness commodified. Fuck selling Tummy Tea on Instagram when you have a whole marginalised community to profit off of, right?”, said the author, Justin Kirkland… what a prick. Fortunately, there are people out there who panned his article with reply’s such as:

“So Colton is not the type of gay man that you want him to be? And he’s not your ideal candidate to be the “gay face of Netflix”? Let him live whatever sort of “out” life he chooses and let that be okay.”

“I think immediately it feels wrong to read someone criticize someone else’s story that, while may not be as traumatic as others, is still harder than anything they’ve experienced before and seems to be their truth, no matter how rated G it is” said another.

Someone else wrote, “I fully disagree with this article and find it very bothersome. We should be celebrating everyone’s stories.”

“This article is so irritating and why my fellow gay people drive me insane. You’re always whining and never know when to pick your battles. Just celebrate his journey.”

“Colton’s story is a lot like my own, and actually inspired me to consider fully coming out this year. This isn’t as much for the out LGBT community as it is for the closeted people who (wrongly) hold on to shame and don’t feel comfortable considering themselves a part of it.”

This last comment is actually what the entire programme is all about. It helped this person and if it helps any other young people, struggling with similar issues, or perhaps in similar circumstances and assists them in coming to terms with their homosexuality, then the docuseries has gone beyond being merely an account of one person’s quest to cash-in on their journey as implied by Mr Kirkland.

Do yourself a favour and watch Coming Out Colton. It is one person’s coming out struggle and if it helps with yours or reminds you of some of the aspects of your own then great. It is serious, it does bring up many of the fears LGBT people experience. The way Colton Underwood chooses to deal with them is his way.

To Colton I say, well done, it was very moving in parts and I for one wish you a happy life ahead as whatever part of our LGBT+ community you choose to be a part of. It is the biggest step in your life’s journey.