Dec. 17, 2014 :: The Lumbersexual by OUT FRONT Magazine

G E T O U T : T H E T R AV E L I S S U E

SEATTLE GiVES RiSE TO THE LUMBERSEXUAL TRANSPARENT’S JEFFREY TAMBOR TRAFFIC CAMERA TICKETS: SHOULD YOU PAY THEM? D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4 • F R E E OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

2 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

ShaneCo.com

Greenwood Village

Westminster

At Shane Co. you’ll discover hundreds of ring styles, from the traditional to the unexpected. Save up to thousands of dollars with our direct importer prices, Free Lifetime Warranty and free membership to the Shane Co. Wedding Club.™

SOMETIMES PEOPLE NEED TO LOOK AT THINGS WITH A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.

O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 3

4 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 5

ON THE COVER: LUMBERSEXUAL SEE MORE ON PAGE 32 A pictorial by Jay Diers, Jaededart Studios Model: Joshua Kary

CO N TE NTS 8 News 10

Getting Around on NYE 2014

Christmas on the Junkyard

Jewish for Christmas

Bleed Like Me: A Lesson Learned in the Silent Night

VOLUME 38

ISSUE 18

26 HeinzeSight: Realizations from a Decade of Growth 27

Community Pics: “The Taste” Premiere

25 Legal: Do I Really Have to Pay Those Traffic Camera Tickets?

Christmas 2014 at the Movies

44 Marketplace

32 Lumbersexual: A Pictorial

34 A Gay Ol’ Week: Aspen Gay Ski Week 2015

24 Auto: Garage Stuffers

29 Seattle: Rust & Romance in the Emerald City

20 Opinion: On the Potency of Protesting

23 What’s New, Colorado?

40 Transforming Minds: An Interview with Jeffrey Tambor

42 Into the Woods

33 Hot Springs in the Cold Months

22 Weathering the Winter: A Quick Guide to Temporary Urban Survival

DECEMBER 18, 2014

28 Calendar

20 Community Pics: Re-Electing Robin

22 It’s the Climb: Altitude Sickness

Assistant: Alan Barwick

46 Shopping: Denver Does Dames 48 Community Pics: 6th Annual Red Ball 49 Music: Hear Me Out 50 Bar Tab

34 Let It Snow: Colorado Winter Events

35 Skiing 101

51 The Scoop on Snoring

36 The Sun, Sand, & Seamen of San Deigo 36 Cancun, MX 37

Hunkering Down Under

38 Day-After Dining

6 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

Community Pics: Boyztown

52 Community Pics: A Night at the Compound 52 Deep Inside Hollywood 53 Ask the Sexpert: What’s In a Name?

Serving the LGBT Community of the Rocky Mountains since 1976 3535 Walnut Street, Denver, Colorado 80205 Phone: 303-477-4000 • Fax: 303-325-2642 Web: OutFrontOnline.com Facebook: facebook.com/OutFrontColorado Twitter: @OutFrontCO • Instagram: /OutFrontColorado Out Front is published by Q Publishing, Ltd., a Colorado corporation and is a member of: Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and Denver Drama Critics Circle. FOUNDER Phil Price, 1954-1993 ADMINISTRATION info@outfrontonline.com Jerry Cunningham, Publisher J.C. McDonald, Vice President MaGGIE Phillips, Operations Manager Jeff Jackson Swaim, Chief Strategist EDITORIAL editorial@outfrontonline.com BERLIN SYLVESTRE, Editor MIKE YOST, Senior Contributor ROB BARGER, Digital Content Manager BOBBY CREW, Editorial Intern Contributing Writers Chris Azzopardi, Mindy Barton, Rex Fuller, O’Brian Gunn, Kyle Harris, Brent Heinze, Isa Jones, Noah L. Jordan, Shanna Katz, Kelsey Lindsey, Scott McGlothlen, Amanda Moutinho, Mikey Rox, Nico Stoerner, and Pieter Tolsma

N O F * C K I N G S T R I N G S A T T A C H E D! Free 12oz . pu m pk i n la t t e Dec em ber 20– 21 & 27– 2 8 , 2 0 1 4

MARKETING & SALES marketing@outfrontonline.com DUSTIN KRIER, Director of Sales jordan jacobs, Senior Marketing Executive TOPHER LA FLEUR, Marketing Executive JAY DUQUE, Marketing & Events Coordinator National Advertising Rivendell Media / 212-242-6863 • sales@rivendellmedia.com

ART art@outfrontonline.com COLBY BRUMIT, Art Director CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS & PHOTOGRAPHERS Laura Baccus, Flor Blake, Charles Broshous, Chad Chisholm, Jay Diers, Christina Gressianu, Nikki Kushner, Hans Rosemond, and Evan Semón DISTRIBUTION

Out Front’s print publication is available semi-monthly, free of charge in Colorado, one copy per person. Additional copies of Out Front may be purchased for $3.95 each, payable in advance at Out Front offices located at 3535 Walnut Street, Denver CO, 80205. Out Front is delivered only to authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Out Front, take more than one copy of Out Front. Any person who takes more than one copy may be held liable for theft, including but not limited to civil damages and or criminal prosecution.

Reproduction of editorial, photographic or advertising content without written consent of the publisher is strictly prohibited. Advertisers are responsible for securing rights to any copyrighted material within their advertisements. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the claims of advertisers and reserves the right to reject any advertising. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles or advertising is not to be considered an indication of the sexual orientation or HIV status of such person or organization. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the loss or damage of materials submitted. OPINIONS EXPRESSED are not necessarily those of OUT FRONT, its staff, or advertisers.

450 E. 1 7 th Av e . Denver, C o l o ra d o *ri gh t n ext doo r t o H e nr y ’s S a lo n!

P r oudly se r v i n g O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 7

N EWS

Fact-checked, Web-approved The hottest Out Front stories this side of the LGBT news cycle.

Corporate Equality Index: The Bottom Line Berlin Sylvestre Each year, the Human Rights Campaign releases its Corporate Equality Index, giving consumers the option to take a good hard look at where they spend their money. With LGBT buying power at an estimated $830,000,000,000 in 2014, it’s good to know which retailers gladly support our community, and which ones don’t pass muster when it comes to LGBT rights. This year saw a record-breaking number of companies with a perfect score of 100. What’s better, 13 of the 20 top-ranked Fortune companies were privy to that honor this year, including Apple Inc., Ford Motor Co., Citigroup Inc., and Chevron Corp. So, what other “everyday” companies give their LGBT employees a fair shake? Here are a few: Barnes & Noble Inc. Wells Fargo & Co. Gap Inc. American Eagle Outfitters Inc. Target Corp. GameStop Corp. Staples Inc. Armani Exchange MillerCoors, LLC Best Buy Co. Inc. Google Inc. Marriott International Inc. Humana Inc. Hewlett-Packard Co. Campbell’s Soup And the ones you might want to take a closer look at before you part with your dollar? Bed Bath & Beyond Dillard’s Lowe’s Home Improvement Priceline.com Regal Entertainment (Regal Cinemas, Edwards Theatres, United Artists) The Container Store Zales Brook’s Brothers Cabela’s What does the HRC consider for the score? • • • • • •

Sexual orientation in discrimination policy Gender identity in discrimination policy Domestic partner health benefits Transgender-inclusive benefits Organizational competency practices Public commitment to the LGBT community

For the full list, visit HRC.org/apps/cei.

8 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

PFLAG Denver Co-Founder Nancy Keene Needs Our Help We received a call at the office on Thursday from Meredith Keene, the daughter of PFLAG Denver co-founder Nancy Keene. She told us that, while still healthy in spirit, Nancy isn’t doing too well physically, and the family is hopeful that the LGBT community of Denver might find a little extra holiday spirit on them and assist with Nancy’s relocation to a facility that attends to the needs of seniors. e bit.ly/pflagkeene Putin Claims Russia is not “Anti-Gay” Russian President Vladimir Putin defended his country’s anti-gay laws in front of the Human Rights Council, claiming the laws do not harm homosexuals, but merely protect children. He says the anti-gay sentiment is a label given to Russia from other countries — especially the United States. e bit.ly/putinantigay Viral Video Star Models for American Apparel Brendan Jordan skyrocketed to fame when he struck fierce poses behind a news segment at a grand opening of a mall. American Apparel sought out the youth in a campaign targeting a teenage audience and his fashion spread could not be better. e bit.ly/viralbrendan Parents Print Birth Announcement Retraction After he came out as trans, Kai Bogert’s parents printed a light-hearted retraction of his birth announcement, claiming they made a mistake when the first announcement was made, and that their child was actually a boy. Oops! e bit.ly/transbirth Out Front is looking for fresh voices in our magazine! The assignments are fun, the work is steady, and the pay depends on how many stories you pick up and if they’re fit to print. Industry experience is preferred, but if you can write well (but have never been published) that might be fine, too. (We’ll just need writing samples.) The ability to tell a good story is a must. We employ humor and that “letter from a friend” feel in our work here. Though snark is a mainstay for a few of our freelancers, we still like to keep things positive. e Email writing samples to Berlin@ OutFrontOnline.com and we’ll go from there.

Keep in touch! Visit us online at outfrontonline.com for the latest news & updates. Or get social at facebook.com/OutFrontColorado

O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 9

FIREWORKS, FARES, AND FEES:

G ET T I N G A ROU N D O N NY E 2 014 O’Brian Gunn FirEWOrKs. rEsOLutiOns. LaVish partiEs. miDnight EscapaDEs. DrunKEn FOOLs On paraDE. All of the makings of a typical New Year’s Eve, right? Keep those auto insurance premiums low and your mugshot out of the Denver Police Department’s database by planning your transportation well in advance. You’ve got plenty of celebration options this New Year’s Eve and just as many transportation options. “Somebody Order a Cab?” Now, Uber! Now, Lyft! Now the taxi’s got me miffed! On, RTD! On, DD! You’ve got choices, so don’t be greedy! Denver is packed to the mile-high gills with transportation services for every price range and style. If you aren’t familiar with Uber and Lyft, they’re car-hailing services that use your phone’s GPS to send a car to your location and drive you off to your next destination. (Uber.com & Lyft.com) Uber has several different vehicle options based on how many people are in your group and if you prefer a private driver. The UberX base price is $1 and $0.16 per minute along with a $1 safety fee.

Lyft’s base price starts out at $1.13 and $0.17 per minute and $1.14 per mile with a $1.50 “trust and safety” fee. To keep your brain from fizzling like a sparkler from so much math, you can calculate your fare before calling for a ride. Since New Year’s is such a busy night, prepare for Uber’s “surge” pricing and Lyft’s “Prime Time” pricing. The special pricing is reserved for times when everybody and their Uncle Felix is using a carhailing service. Before you conjure up a Lyft or Uber ride, check to see whether you’ll have to pay more for transportation. This is one of those times where it’s good to have a designated reader in case you mistake that dollar sign for an emoticon. You certainly won’t be typing any smiley faces when you get charged $100 for a five-minute ride. the Old Standbys If you want to keep it traditional, you can always hail one of Denver’s many cabs … and hope they don’t breeze right by. Most cabs start out at about $2.50 for a base price and roughly $2 for every additional mile. There’s also RTD if you’re feeling adventurous and want to spread some New Year’s cheer to total strangers — who may or may not vomit all over your festive threads — and laugh

about it. RTD busses and light rails are usually free on New Year’s from 7pm on New Year’s Eve until 6am on New Year’s Day, but make sure you check their website before you head out for the night. If you plan on drinking lightly on New Year’s but find yourself stumbling and lurching up and down Colfax from “just one last drink,” there are designated driver services like BeMyDD. (BeMyDD. com) Pickup services start out at $25 plus mileage. Not as cheap as a taxi or car-hailing service, but cheaper than a DUI, which brings us to … “Officer, is there Something Wrong?” Those dazzling lights in your rearview mirror aren’t fireworks — they’re what might turn out to be the bitter beginnings of a $600 – $1,000 DUI fine, jail time, alcohol education, and a license revocation. That $25 BeMyDD fee is starting to sound like a $25 bargain. Once your license has been revoked, you’ll have to pay $95 to have it reinstated. Start the new year in style, not in prison stripes. New Year’s Eve is all about having choices and making choices. No matter where you decide to go, make sure you arrive safe and sound. Happy New Year, OutFront fam. 

Celebrate Christmas with Dignity Denver!

¡Celebra la Navidad con Dignity Denver!

All are invited to a Christmas Eve Mass

Tod@s son invitad@s a la Misa de Noche Buena

8 p.m., Wednesday, December 24th Capitol Heights Church, 1100 Fillmore Street, Denver

LGBT Catholics, Families and Friends www.dignitydenver.org

D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4

OutfROntOnlinE.COM

Dignity Denver celebrates Mass every Sunday at 5 p.m. Join us! All are welcome! • ¡Todos son Bienvenidos!

present s

January 11-18 2015 â&#x20AC;˘ gayskiweek.com

to book tickets, call 866-564-8398 or visit gayskiweek.com

OutfROntOnlinE.COM

D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4

C hr i stmas on t he J u n kyard

After pleading Not Guilty for Reason of Insanity more than 30 years ago, a mental patient seeks the attention of an attorney and a doctor to aid his release. Kyle Harris Warning: Graphic Language

harles Parrish faces another Christmas at the Colorado Mental Health Institute at Pueblo (CMHIP). He lives on J2, a floor that patients have dubbed the junkyard ward. “Christmas is usually celebrated big time,” he tells Out Front. “They have a big party, the whole nine yards. This year, they said there is no party [because] there is no money for us.” He says that in the past, patients wrote a list of three items they wanted, and local churches donated the gifts. This year on J2, only letters are allowed in, Charles says, and for a few weeks, patients can accept sweets. Other presents are banned. Charles says the hospital will, however, host a cookie party on J2, and patients will compete in an art contest. The winner designs holiday centerpieces for the dining room. Charles, a trained artist, drew a circle and submitted it to protest the holiday cutbacks on J2. Charles describes himself as “Santa Claus in a wheel chair.” He has long white hair and a bushy beard that he plans to shave when the hospital releases him — if they ever do. Off and on, for

more than 30 years, he has been a patient there. “I’m the only gay person on the unit that I’m on,” he claims. “I get harassed every day because of that, not only by my peers but by the staff. I’m put down because I talk about it. I’m not scared, I’ll admit it 100 percent, but they don’t like for me to talk about it. To me, that’s a hate crime, denying me the right to talk about myself and my emotions.” He wants a doctor to declare him mentally fit so he can leave. CMHIP doctors call him a danger to himself and society. He also wants a private lawyer, as he can’t reach his public defender on the phone. Charles longs to work a job, to find a partner, and to live on his own, but in the foreseeable future, he’s not going anywhere.

n 1953, Charles was born in Oklahoma to “country bumpkins who had no idea what was going on in the world,” he says. “Growing up from birth to age nine was exciting and wonderful.” Then, he claims, his uncles molested him again and again, adding that over the years, other family joined in. At 13, “I took a tree branch and began to beat Uncle Buck with it. He knocked me out, and I woke up in the hospital having had a six-inch splinter removed from my rectum.”

1 2 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

“Growing up in that kind of environment, I got to where I could dissociate myself with what was going on. I didn’t know who I was ’cause I didn’t care any more.” Charles struggled through high school. “People treated me oddly. Everyday there was someone fighting me to prove their manhood. I was a greaser, like in The Outsiders, because I didn’t fit in with the rest of the crowd. I had no close friendships. The only thing we had to do was hunt, fish, and drink. Every now and then, I’d run into one of my kind, usually out in the woods somewhere, and then word got out that I was gay. People started disassociating themselves with me.” He started hustling on weekends. “My mom and dad were country. They thought I was an important person because a lot of people were coming around. I’d go for a ride, be gone for awhile, and I’d come back and have money in my pocket.” At 17, he married and had his first of four children. A report written by the Disposition Committee at CMHIP says, “That appears unlikely, given his incarceration.” The report calls him “a notoriously dramatic and inaccurate reporter.” c o n t i n u e d ON PAG E 1 4



WE ALL NEED HEALTH INSURANCE IT’S TIME TO CHOOSE YOUR 2015 COVERAGE

Enrollment Centers Are Open

Walk-ins welcome • No appointment needed • Free expert help Adams County - Kids First Health Care

Lafayette

4675 E. 69th Ave • Commerce City Sat — 9 A.M.-3 P.M.

Denver - 16th Street Mall

400 W. South Boulder Rd • Lafayette Sun — 9 A.M.-3 P.M. Wed — 3-7 P.M. Sat — 11 A.M.-3 P.M.

16th and California • Denver Mon-Sat — Noon-6 P.M.

Southeast Denver/Aurora

Lakewood - St. Anthony Hospital

8821 E. Hampden Ave, Suite 207 • Denver Tues-Thurs — 1-5 P.M.

Medical Plaza ONE 11750 W. 2nd Place, First Floor • Lakewood See website for times

Wheat Ridge - Liberty Tax Office 3885 Wadsworth Blvd • Wheat Ridge Mon-Fri — 9 A.M.-5 P.M.

Enroll now! Deadline is January 15 for coverage beginning in February. Hours of Operation Vary. Check Locations and Times Near You! ConnectforHealthCO.com

O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 1 3

‘J UN K YA R D ’ c o n t i n u e d F R O M PAG E 1 4

He graduated high school in 1972 and started hustling daily. He joined the Air Force, but was discharged for “extensive drug use,” states the CMHIP report; he says officers framed him. “I was molested by three sergeants in basic training. They put a joint of marijuana on me and told me I’d be their bitch and the only way I had out was to get a drug discharge. And that’s the way I did it.

Charles longs to work a job, to find a partner, and to live on his own, but in the foreseeable future, he’s not going anywhere.

“They had a questionnaire that said, ‘Have you ever used marijuana?’ I said ‘Who’s she?’ They asked, ‘Have you ever done cocaine?’ I said, ‘Is that Coca-Cola?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ I checked that. I had never done drugs in my life. I said yes to everything and got my ass kicked out.“ Back in Oklahoma, he lived in his car until a fellow hustler invited him to move into a squatted basement with 28 others. The homeowners had no idea people lived downstairs. “We were there for nine months. One day, they went down there to check the gas meter.” The squat disbanded. Charles studied commercial art at Oklahoma State Tech and transferred to Carl Albert Jr. College. The CMHIP record states, “He began community college, but used cocaine.” “I’ve never done cocaine in my life,” he says. Charles says he, his wife, and his children moved to Arizona. Though his family quickly returned to Oklahoma, Charles stayed and found a roommate. The police arrested him soon after for stolen property; he claims it belonged to the roommate. He received two years of out-of-state probation and returned to Oklahoma, where he lived in a tree house in a park. “I was sitting in the park wearing buckskin pants, a buckskin shirt, my hair was past my shoulders, and my beard was like it is now. This guy came up to me to say, ‘Would you like to have a job?’ I had a case of beer and a bag of weed and was like, ‘A job?’ He said, ‘You can have an apartment too.’ I said, ‘Why me?’ He said, ‘You look the part.’ ‘What do I have to do?’ ‘All you have to do is walk on stage.’” He began acting in “Dust on Her Petticoats,” a play about the Trail of Tears. “I was the first and original Oklahoman to be cast in that outdoor drama musical. That lasted a few months and petered out.” After a short-lived theater career, he claims to have slept with the financial aid director at Oklahoma State University, who promised to get him into school. “I pretty much got hustled in,” he says. “That’s when my parents found out I was gay. The man in charge of financial aid … he called my parents’ house and told them that he wanted to be with me. My mother and sister were listening on the other end. That’s when they realized, ‘He’s gay.’” Charles’ parents distanced themselves from

him. The financial aid director moved on. Falling behind in his studies, Charles resumed hustling. “I didn’t do much studying as far as reading a book goes. I was studying professors. They were all tearoom totallers. They showed up in the restrooms. You’d follow them wherever they wanted to go, do your thing, and get paid.” In October 1978, Charles says he met a john. “Are you a cop?” Charles asked. The man said no, so Charles blew him. The man arrested Charles, charging him with sodomy — a crime against nature. “He admitted he didn’t tell me he was a cop,” Charles says. “That’s why that case got thrown out.” That year, he vacationed to Colorado Springs and claims to have started a relationship with the owner of a prominent Christmas-themed amusement park. Parrish says the businessman and several other “pillars of the community” ran a drug and prostitution ring. Charles says he continued hustling while working alongside Santa as a clown at the Christmas-themed amusement park. The crime ring bosses allegedly took note of his size and hired him to be a drug runner and collector, and paid him in money, LSD, marijuana, alcohol, a house facing Pikes Peak, antique furniture, two cars, a truck, and a Harley Davidson. “I was 22 years old and had it made in the shade,” he says. “My main job was collecting the money people owed. I was a delivery boy. I remember looking into a package and thinking, ‘There’s $250,000 in that package.’ He thought about stealing it and hitting the road; he regrets he didn’t. Charles says the bosses asked him to collect payment from a 79-year-old john, Arthur Sharpe. “He hit me three times and kicked me in the nuts, and I hit him one time and broke his jaw. I figured I’d scare him into making him give me the money. I put him in the closet, lit a trashcan on fire, and blew smoke under the door to make him think the house was on fire.” “Mr. Parrish exposed his penis and ordered Mr. Sharpe to ‘suck [his] dick,’” reads the CMHIP report. “When Mr. Sharpe resisted, Mr. Parrish urinated on him, beat him, stole his wallet and ring, put him in a closet, pointed a rifle, urinated on him again, stacked furniture against the closet, started a fire in the room, and left. Firemen saved Mr. Sharpe.” Charles says he called the ambulance and denies urinating on the man. Afterward, he returned to his bosses. “They said, ‘Pack your stuff. You’re leaving. You’re gone. You might’ve hurt this guy.‘ I packed up, left, and went back to Oklahoma. I had no place to go. I had nobody.” In Oklahoma, Charles walked into a bar, pretended he had a gun, and robbed the joint. “I didn’t get no more than a mile away — all the cops in the county were on my ass. They arrested me on robbery with a dangerous weapon and gave me ten years in prison.” Colorado extradited him to testify in court. When he got off the plane, the police arrested him for attacking Sharpe. Charles claims to have recorded the names, addresses, and phone numbers of every john, every drug-buying customer, and his supposed criminal bosses. He threatened them: “If I go down, I’m not going down by myself.” They hired seven lawyers to help Charles plead Not Guilty for Reason of Insanity. To prove crazy, Charles said, “A demon named Leon made me do it.” Three doctors evaluated Charles and diagnosed him with severe antisocial

1 4 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

personality disorder, atypical gender identity disorder, and sexual perversions. Two determined he was sane when he attacked Sharpe, and one argued Charles suffered from a drug-induced psychosis that diminished his responsibility. Charles laughs at the notion, claiming he had quit drinking and using drugs long before attacking Sharpe. He tricked the system, and the court declared him Not Guilty for Reason of Insanity on August 20, 1981. The day he checked into the Colorado State Hospital (now CMHIP), he learned his term was one day to life. The trick was on him. During his first rocky years at CMHIP, staff accused him of fighting and sexual harassment: Charles sexually propositioned doctors, harassed a priest, horseplayed with a nine-year old — the son of the coach of the CMHIP softball league Charles played on — and fought patients. He views most of the accusations as blown out of proportion or untrue; some, he concedes. In 1992, Charles read the U.S. Supreme Court decision in Foucha v. Louisiana: People declared Not Guilty By Reason of Insanity could no longer be held beyond their prison sentence if they did not have a current mental illness — even if doctors considered them dangerous. Despite an Antisocial Personality Disorder diagnosis, Foucha was released. Charles wanted the same. He took his case to federal court, and lost. The damning reports continued. CMHIP reports Charles touched a guard. “I don’t remember that,” Charles says, “unless it was one I used to walk up to, rub his shoulders, and say hi to.” The report states Charles threatened to kill fellow patients. “I never threatened to kill anyone. Except I once said, ‘If I had a gun, I’d blow you away’” to an aggravating peer. The report states he gambled. “Of course we gambled. We’re only allowed $20 a week. To make ends meet, we’re going to gamble. They don’t let us work. They don’t let us have jobs. There is no other way for us to make money.”

Charles had the names, addresses, and phone numbers of every john, every drug-buying customer, and his supposed criminal bosses. He threatened them: “If I go down, I’m not going down by myself.”

In 1995, Charles escaped the hospital and fled to Oklahoma City for the Prime Timers Worldwide Convention, where he indulged his passion for older men. After, he returned to CMHIP. In 1999, he says he lived off-site, but was still under the hospital’s care. Staff visited him unannounced, and he participated in AA and sex offender classes. He worked at the Pueblo Chieftain, but quit after a few months. He worked at Souper Salad; he quit that too. For Christmas, he says he visited his family and then came back to work at Century 400. He was working twelve-hour days until his boss went on vacation and forgot to pay him. Scrambling for rent money, he tried to pull off a robbery and failed. c o n t i n u e d ON PAG E 1 6



O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 1 5

‘J UN K YA R D ’ c o n t i n u e d F R O M PAG E 1 4

He was charged with two crimes. “On 5-23-00, the victim, 79-year-old John Stovall, drove on an access road in the Lake Pueblo State Park,” reads the CMHIP report. “At about 11:30 am, Mr. Parrish, driving his van, blocked the park exit, forcing John Stovall to stop his car. Mr. Parrish, while placing a knife at Mr. Stovall’s throat, ordered him to hand over his wallet and keys. Mr. Stovall fought Mr. Parrish and escaped.” Dr. Matthew Goodwin reviewed Charles’ files and interviewed him to decide if he was mentally fit to stand trial. He was. The court sentenced him to 20 years. Upon release, he would return to CMHIP. (He denies that he committed that crime. In 2003, he appealed his sentence “citing the Court’s denial in regard to suppressing the photographic lineup shown to Mr. Stovall,” and says he won his case.) Regarding his other alleged crime, “The victims Fidel Pacheco and Kathleen Archuleta reported the following. On 5-23-00, while walking along the Arkansas River trail, the couple espied [sic] Mr. Parrish standing beside several trees fondling his penis,” states the CMHIP report. “When they arrived at their vehicle they saw Mr. Parrish leaning into their vehicle (which had been previously locked). To their surprise, the vehicle’s side rear window was broken. Mr. Pacheco ran towards Mr. Parrish who threatened Mr. Pacheco with a crowbar. Mr. Parrish fled carrying Ms. Archuleta’s purse, Mr. Pacheco’s wallet, and a pair of binoculars. Mr. Pacheco chased Mr. Parrish who fell down an embankment dropping the stolen items.” Charles pled guilty to First Degree Criminal Trespass on October 29, 2001 and was sentenced to six years in prison. He admits to looking into the car, but only because he wanted to buy it. He denies he broke the window or had a crowbar and says Pacheco never chased him down. In prison, Charles says he ratted out members of the white supremacist gang, the 211s, with The Aryan Brotherhood’s protection. “It was a bad deal to start with. I owed them either blood on the knife or shit on the shank.” Charles cut himself from his wrist to elbow hoping a suicide attempt would get him back to CMHIP and away from his former protectors. He transferred to the hospital briefly and was returned to the Department of Corrections. Prison life wore Charles down; he soothed himself by overeating. Weighing in at 484 pounds, he needed a wheelchair to get around. In 2013, the DOC released him on parole sending him back into CMHIP’s care. Charles believes he was readmitted illegally and that the “so-called care” is harmful. He claims to battle staff to get out of his wheelchair. “They refuse to let me walk on my own.” “Staff report that Mr. Parrish has refused to comply with the P.T. [Physical Therapy] which would enable him to leave his wheelchair without falling,” states a CMHIP report. Since September 2013, Charles has tried to file for release from CMHIP. At first, the courts claimed they never received the papers. When they finally did, Charles claims his public defender told the courts her client was no longer interested in pursuing release. Charles says he’s never met her, and subsequently complained. “The judge appointed another lady to represent me,” he says. “She’s collecting money from the state on behalf of me.” He claims she also hired a doctor. “[The doctor]

said, ‘Because you’re gay, I won’t recommend your release. The only way you’re going to get off of this unit is that the court’s going to release you, or you’re going to get out in a body bag.’ Now I’m stuck trying to find a doctor and a lawyer that will take me pro-bono and get me the hell out of this godforsaken hellhole.” In September, Charles asked to get out. The CMHIP report summarizes the meeting: “Mr. Parrish is an obese man with a bushy white beard and long grey hair, wearing oxygen, sitting in a wheel chair ... his affect is cheerful; he frequently laughs at his jokes even when no one else laughs. Affable, he impulsively makes promises which he is unlikely to keep … “His speech is facile, goal-directed, loud, dramatic, profuse, notable for references to lawsuits, but not delusional. He does not appear to think prior to speaking ... “His ebullience appears incongruous with the content of his speech. For example, Mr. Parrish gleefully reports that his transfer to J2 was motivated by ‘mind games’ in Geriatrics ... he readily and cheerfully acknowledges current problem behaviors such as temper tantrums, getting others in trouble, and racial slurs. He appears neither regretful nor ashamed. “Interpersonally, Mr. Parrish appears insincere, even oily, acting as if members of this committee are [his] close friends, referencing information that he presumes we already know (but do not).”

He claims to have been painting a card for [a deceased friend’s] parents when a staff member picked up the card and said, “All you faggots think you’re artists and you know how to draw and paint. Your art sucks.”

The report concludes Charles has “an abnormal mental condition that would be likely to cause him to be dangerous either to himself or others in the community in the reasonable foreseeable future, or is incapable of distinguishing right from wrong, or lacks substantial capacity to conform his conduct to the requirements of the law. He is, therefore, considered to be not eligible for conditional or unconditional release.” Charles’ despair continues to grow. He says he is fearful of his doctor, Howard Fisher, the subject of a 1993 Westword article. According to the article, the state accused Fisher of lying on his Colorado Board of Medical Examiners exam about the number of patient complaints he had received. The article says Fisher prescribed addictive medications to drug-dependent patients, overused shock therapy (earning him the nicknames Dr. Shock and Reddy Kilowatt), and needlessly recommended a prefrontal lobotomy on a patient. Recently, Charles’ friend Steve died. “They’re saying he died of natural causes. That same night, I saw the nurse chase him around the yard trying to make him drink this liquid. Five hours later, he’s dead. We believe he was overdosed and given too much medication. They wanted him so drugged up so they could control him more.”

1 6 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

After the loss, Charles says staff organized a pizza party to boost J2 morale. “On October 31, it was Trick Or Treat. They really tricked us. They got us all in the day room. We were all happy and jolly — it was Halloween. Everyone was getting pizza and soda, then the doors were all shut and we had a shakedown. They took everything we’ve got. They took my family photos. They pulled my mother’s picture up and said, ‘Who’s this ugly bitch?’ My mother’s been dead since 2003. I went haywire and said, ‘It’s none of your business. That’s my family. It’s none of your business who these people are.’” During the shakedown, Charles says staff confiscated his art supplies. He claims to have been painting a card for Steve’s parents when a staff member picked up the card and said, “All you faggots think you’re artists and you know how to draw and paint. Your art sucks.” “I know my civil rights were violated. They took away all my art supplies. It’s left me with nothing to do but sit around and twiddle my thumbs.” He has written complaints to DORA, the governor, and hospital staff. “They’ve given me no other option but to write letters. These people were calling me a f*cking faggot and dissing me left and right. They want to say, ‘Oh, it’s no big deal.’ Well, it’s a big deal to me. “We were sent here for treatment and rehabilitation, and getting neither treatment nor rehabilitation. When you’re in prison, you’re treated a whole lot better. Then you come here where you’re not even supposed to be considered a criminal, and they treat you like crap. “Dr. Fisher told me, ‘As long as you keep complaining about the way you’re being treated in this institution, you won’t be let off this unit.’ I don’t have a mental illness, but I’m in a mental institution. “I’ve got nothing to do here. Nothing. Absolutely zero. Zilch. This institution has screwed us around again. They cancelled Thanksgiving for us, and they cancelled the Christmas stuff for us.” “We’re told, ‘Christmas is a privilege not a right, therefore, [patients] are not entitled to any form of decorations, presents, party, or any form of religious celebration.’ This alone violates our constitutional rights of freedom of religion and its practices.” During a recent therapy session, Charles says his group discussed Christmas — depression, homesickness, and fights often accompany the holidays on J2. While other wards have holiday parties, J2 has restrictive security. To make matters worse, his buddy Steve won’t be around. “We all filed grievances, but grievances only go so far. It’s one of those things they do to punish you, even though we aren’t here to be punished.” Efforts to communicate with members of the hospital were unsuccessful, and calls to J2 staff went unreturned. 

Editor’s note: The staff at Out Front receives calls from members of the community who request that a concerning issue be illuminated in our pages. We decided to give Mr. Parrish, who feels very strongly about his treatment at CMHIP, the proverbial microphone for a piece. Whether or not his claims trigger moral outrage or are simply deemed ludicrous is a matter for the public to decide. We do not purport to substantiate any of his claims, but we do assure that we’ve faithfully relayed the story as it was told to us.

O u t f r o n t o n l i n e . c o m | D ECEM B ER 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 1 7

We will make your LGBTQ wedding

exquisite.

For over 20 years, we have been proud to be Colorado’s premier gay-owned caterer. Let our experience help make your event truly special.

We work with you We understand you because We are you!

QR Code

cocktail parties • weddings dinner parties • galas and more!

www.lifestylescatering.com 303.232.7932 Scan to read what our customers say about us!

1 8 | D ECEM B ER 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f r o n t o n l i n e . c o m

Jewish for C h r i st m as emerged as a survival mechanism; if you forgot to shop for food in Growing as an MOT — a advance, or ran out of a crucial ingremember of the tribe; part of the Jewish dient, it is usually impossible to solve community — Christmas was never this issue on Christmas Day. Rather, this imminent holiday that warmed placing an order for Chinese takethe cockles of my heart. Rather, out/delivery lets everyone choose my excitement and joy was revved their own preference of food, offers up by the impending beginning some feeling of celebration without of Chanukah, the eight-night-long decking the house in green and holiday that has as red, and fills hungry tummies while still many valid spellings of its name as it does days supporting businesses filled with delicious for which Christmas fried food, gifts, wine, isn’t the end-all, be-all. song, and celebration. Some Denver area restaurants (Chinese Every family I knew had its own special and otherwise) will be Chanukah celebrations open for both dining in and taking out on that included traditions unique to them, from Christmas day — call tempura veggies to first or check their Chanukah stockings for social media pages to the Chanukah faeries ensure you avoid an to fill. incredibly disappointMore interestingly, ing moment. however, were the A great localnumber of Jewish tradition favorite by Christmas may families I knew who some Jewish folks not be directly had very specific tradi(and of course, others tions that centered on for whom Christmas relevant to doesn’t hold such an Christmas, a holiday those of us who important role) is that has no inherconsider ourselves visiting the Denver ent connections to members of Zoo’s Zoo Lights or Judaism. However, the Denver Botanic given the culture we the Jew-tang live in that has a Santa Gardens’ Blossoms of clan (Challah!), in every department Light on Christmas Eve, but a lot of us store and Christmas or erev Christmas, as have found carols on every radio my family always liked station (I was just introto call it (erev is the special ways duced to Dominic the night before a special and traditions Italian Donkey and am day or holiday). These to celebrate heartbroken to have gorgeous, jaw-dropmissed this classic tune ping light displays are December 25 while growing up!), it’s open both Christmas nonetheless. no wonder that even Eve AND the evening cultures that don’t of Christmas day, and celebrate Christmas have figured these times are the same price as out a way to benefit from a day and offer the same opportunities as that seems to cross so many socio- any other evening. However, espedemographic identities. cially on Christmas eve, attendance The super-stereotypical Jewish is usually cut down by at least half, if Christmas celebration includes not more, reducing lines, increasing eating take-out Chinese food. This visibility, and leaving more churros likely stems from New York City and hot chocolate for those who where — although many restau- desire edible warmth while enjoying rants are closed on such a widely the lights. celebrated holiday like Christmas Christmas may not be directly — most Chinese food places are relevant to those of us who consider happily open and serving clientele. ourselves members of the Jew-tang Given that most grocery stores close clan (Challah!), but a lot of us have for some period of time too, having found special ways and traditions to an option like Chinese may have celebrate December 25 nonetheless.  Shanna Katz

Colorado's Premier Gay-Owned & Operated Caterer serving the Community since 1995! 303.232.7932 www.lifestylescatering.com

A LESSON LEARNED IN THE SILENT NIGHT the fact that I had long given up on sugary snacks. Such a beverage i haD DeVeLoPeD QUite the gave me the warming sensation of a n taG o n i st i C at t i t U D e when life didn’t feel so horrifically toward the holidays during young uncertain. The presents my family adulthood. Pretty decorations seem- sent lay all around the fake black ed like a distraction to all that was Christmas tree I once bought as a horribly wrong and unjust in the snarky response to my distaste for world. The mass consumerism felt the holidays. And I realized that like a capitalist ploy to exploit those such joys like these may not have in poverty. Thus, the only thing I ever been fully appreciated … until looked forward to was spending time now. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to with my family. open the gifts, because once I did, But by the time of my own HIV there would be nothing else to look diagnosis, my family had already forward to the rest of the day. decided that none of As night fell, darkus would be travelness blocked the lovely ing to see each other views, and what little over the holidays that happiness the snow year. We already had a brought began to slip group trip planned for away. When I could feel the next wave of October which I then had to use to tell the depression coming in, I frantically grasped at family about my new disease. Once that cat the gifts hoping they could keep it at bay came out of the bag, we all regretted our for just a little longer. decision to pass on I can’t even remember Christmas travel, and what the gifts were, by then, the flight costs but I know that I loved them because of what were too astronomical Looking back, I to change. they represented: my hadn’t just been Strangely enough, family’s love despite a grinch about all my friends had my HIV status. I started Christmas’ I had their own plans and to cry. I simply wasn’t wouldn’t be around ready to die. been a grinch either. While I did have As I wiped the tears about everything. a budding romance from my face, I realized with a wonderful guy that I’d let those little (the man I would one day marry), our joys, like snow and hot chocolate and courtship was still too fresh for me store-bought gifts gloss by me due to join him at his family’s home. This to the lifetime of a pessimistic dewould oﬃcially be my first Christmas meanor. Looking back, I hadn’t just alone and it couldn’t have come at a been a grinch about Christmas — I worse time. had been a grinch about everything. With my roommate gone as well, In the first Christmas after my I woke up to a very empty apart- HIV diagnosis, I wound up comment on Christmas morning. It was pletely alone and the grief of it all snowing and I couldn’t remember felt absolutely unbearable. But the last time it actually snowed on perhaps I secretly needed it that Christmas. Riddled with my own sense way. Amongst this loneliness, I was of mortality, it looked more beautiful given the opportunity to realize that than any other snow I had ever seen. the life I had been living wasn’t a Even though I wasn’t going to die, I just life well lived. Perhaps this was the couldn’t shake the feeling this could be opportunity to take such grief and the last time I see such a thing. give myself a another kind of gift: I broke into my roommate’s stash optimism instead of pessimism and of hot chocolate packets despite gratitude instead of antagonism.  Scott mcGlothlen | Bleed like me

Scott McGlothlen is a cultural columnist on life as a HIV-positive gay man. Read more of Scott’s columns online at outfrontonline.com or contact him at scott@outfrontonline.com.

O ZERO

new infections

ZERO

new AIDS diagnoses

ZERO

deaths from HIV

May all our holiday wishes come true. Find out more at BeTested.co

OutfrOntOnline.cOm

D e c e m B e r 1 7, 2 0 1 4

Re-electing Robin

OPINION

The LGBT community came together at Blush and Blu on December 2 to help kick off the re-election campaign for Denver City Councilwoman Robin Kniech. The city’s first openly out councilor is seeking her second four-year term for an At-Large seat. First elected in 2011, Kniech has advocated for affordable housing, economic development, and sustainability. She is dedicated to supporting communities and making Denver a better place for middle class families and those struggling to make ends meet. For more information, please visit KniechForCouncil.com. Photos by Charles Broshous • See more photos at outfrontonline.com

NEW YORK CITY - OCT 22, 2014: Stop Mass Incarcerations Network sponsored a Day of Resistance rally at Union Square Park followed by a march to Times Square in protest of nationwide police brutality.

O n the Poten cy o f P rotesting Pieter Tolsma I think it’s safe to say that Americans put marches and public demonstrations on a pedestal. The ability and desire to abandon one’s daily routine and take on some level of risk takes nerve and determination. It’s much easier to simply go online and complain on Facebook or better yet, write a bunch of comments on someone else’s blog. When we speak with our feet and assemble, we are saying more than our small voices could do alone. The mention of a protest and a march that we were not expecting tingles the ears and piques the interest. In its own way, it’s freedom of speech and assembly at their finest. In light of the protests and riots in Ferguson and New York, I was driven to research the queer history of public displays of protest. The natural place to go was the birth of the modern public movement for our community, Stonewall. Anger at abuse by the police and the legal and political system fueled riots that lasted for several days. The oppressed minority took to the streets in violence and outrage, and although the moment began with violence, the LGBT efforts did not end there. The real difference wasn’t created by lighting cars on fire or coming to blows with police. In the weeks following, the community banded together and mobilized. We started writing, pampleting, and assembling. These organized non-violent efforts are where the change took root. The protests and marches for government action and AIDS relief are a great example of the oppressed fighting to be heard and have their needs met. The Reagan administration and the world at large were doing essentially nothing to treat this illness and help a population that was marginalized. There was so much anger at the abuse of society and the government as the body count rose with little to no help coming from outside the community. This group organized, found its voice, and pushed for change and eventually succeeded, but not before many of them perished. Currently there is no shortage of violence and protests across the country. Communities are angry and up in arms and expressing their frustrations in many ways, some legal and some not. As in the case of the Stonewall Riots, violence may spring from frustration, but that doesn’t make it right or effective. If the queers at Stonewall had continued with violence as the only voice for their understandable anger, they would have never progressed to the point of relative acceptance today. Permanent change can only come when society has embraced your point. Shows of violence will only prolong the struggle by isolating the aggressor. Anger may be justified, but responding with violence is a short term response and only antagonizes an already tense situation. How better to educate society on the inherent wrongness of harming others than through putting aside violence ourselves?  2 0 | D ECEM B ER 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f r o n t o n l i n e . c o m

THE NEXT EXPERIENCE

PERFECTLY APPOINTED RESIDENCES AND UNMATCHED AMENITIES IN AN IDEAL LOCATION FOR OUR FRIENDS OVER 55

MENTION THIS AD AND RECEIVE SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY PRICING

303.328.0156

1 & 2 BEDROOMS AVAILABLE RESERVE ONLINE NOW • MOVE IN SUMMER 2015 groveatstapleton.com

Celebrate 50 years of tradition!

Fiddler on the Roof ON STAGE NOVEMBER 14, 2014 - FEBRUARY 28, 2015

TICKETS: (303) 449-6000 www.BDTStage.com

O u t f r o n t o n l i n e . c o m | D ECEM B ER 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 2 1

i t ’s the CLiMB SAFEGUARD YOUR HOLIDAY MOUNTAIN GETAWAY AND LEARN THE FACTS ABOUT ALTITUDE SICKNESS

suggestions are to stay warm and take over-the-counter headache medicine. Avoid sleeping pills or other depressants to treat insomnia, because they can DenVerites Like to Boast aBoUt LiVinG in the MiLe hiGh suppress breathing. If you notice any symptoms, it’s better to delay ascent City. We like it up here at 5,280 feet above sea level, and we’re always itching until they subside. If they worsen, descend 1,000 – 2,000 feet. to go higher. But it can be tough on the body for those who aren’t used to the Stopping at an intermediate altitude overnight can also alleviate symptoms. sky-high altitudes. If you’re planning on spending your holidays up on the Try to increase the sleeping altitude by no more than 1,000 feet per 24 hours. slopes or in a cozy mountain cabin, here are some things to keep in mind. The mountaineer rule is to “climb high and sleep low.” So keep that in mind Altitude sickness is the body’s negative reaction to the low pressure of if you’re hitting the slopes to sleep at a lower altitude. oxygen at high altitude. It’s different for everyone, If you’re worried or just very susceptible to altitude sickness, your doctor can prescribe you some and some people have no problem at all. Coloradans We like it up here at 5,280 feet above medication to help speed up acclimatization. Make might be more adapted to higher altitudes, but even sea level, and we’re always itching to sure to talk to your doctor if you have any lung or we can get a little dizzy. Also, be extra wary when heart problems. taking sea-level out-of-towners to the mountains. go higher. But it can be tough on the Altitude sickness starts to develop at elevations Be aware that more serious things can occur, such body for those who aren’t used to higher than 8,000 feet. It can be triggered by ascending as high altitude pulmonary edema (HAPE), which is the sky-high altitudes. where fluid builds up in the lungs, and high altitude too rapidly, insuﬃcient fluid intake, being too cold, and consumption of alcohol or other sedatives. The cerebral edema (HACE), where fluid builds up in symptoms include fatigue, headache, dizziness, insomnia, shortness of the brain. The most serious HACE cases can result in comas or even death. breath, nausea, decreased appetite, vomiting, nosebleed, persistent rapid Symptoms to watch out for are shortness of breath when resting, coughing, pulse, low energy, and swelling of hands and/or feet. Of course these can possible fevers, confusion, disorientation, impaired coordination, and loss almost be signs of anything, but keep an eye out. Symptoms can be gradual of muscle development. Descend immediately if any of these symptoms or sudden and sometimes not even appear until the day after. are noticed and seek medical assistance if problems are severe or persist To prevent altitude sickness make sure to stay hydrated. Try to avoid after dissention. alcohol, at least on the first day. But to compensate for the lack of booze and Consciousness is the most important thing. Be self-aware and alert to the to avoid feeling sick, eat a lot of carbohydrates and avoid physical exertion. members in your party. And don’t be overly paranoid! Altitude sickness is So feel free to lounge on the coach and load up on the bread and pasta. Other usually mild and easily avoidable. Just relax and enjoy the view from the top.  amanda moutinho

W E AT H E R I N G THE WINTER

A Quick Guide to Temporary Urban Survival Kari Sutton Homelessness is never an easy experience. Throw in the harshness of winters in Colorado, and you’ve got a pretty rough situation. Nobody said it was easy, but Colorado’s homeless population has found ways to get through it. Facing a winter of surviving on the streets? We’ll get you pointed in the right direction. Know your resources You can’t take advantage of it if you don’t know it exists. Looking for a hot meal? Many organizations that offer support will have a printed weekly calendar with times and locations for where meals will be served. Grab one of those, and you can always know when and where the next serving 22

D e c e m B e r 1 7, 2 0 1 4

will be. While many organizations that connect people with options for shelter are county- or city-specific, they may be able to help you out for just that night even if you are from outside of their locale. Call 211, or search online for United Way’s 211 program to find county-specific referrals for food, shelter, and other resources. make friends We’re social creatures, right? It follows that having social support doesn’t stop being important for urban survival in the winter. Beyond the company, friends can be a wealth of support. From leads on local resources to being gifted that extra blanket they picked up, friends can make all the difference.

down, theft can be a serious problem. Friends who have a place to stay may be able to hang on to your belongings for you from time to time. If you’re able to lock it up when you’re not with it — in lockers, at a church, where ever works — do so. Remember that part about making friends? It never hurts to have somebody who can watch your back and keep an eye on your belongings. Stack your Odds It can get demoralizing calling shelter after shelter. Stack the odds in your favor. Ask them when the best times to call are, and how often you can call. Find out if they use a lottery system. Sometimes it’s just a matter of being in the right place at the right time. Find out when that’s likely to be.

hang on to the Gear that works Finding the gear you’ll need to survive the winter can be hit and miss, but keep an eye out for the items that will really make a difference. A good pair of boots, a warm jacket, and a bedroll if you’ll be sleeping outside are all critical. Given the choice, mittens are superior to gloves when it comes to keeping warm.

Grab a radio — and not Just for the music When you’re living in the elements, the weather forecast gets real important, real fast. If you can get your hands on a battery-powered radio, you can keep up on the news and weather, and plan accordingly. Plus, music!

hang on to your Gear, Period ‘Cause sometimes you get kicked when you’re

It’s going to be cold. It’s going to be rough. But you can survive it. 

OutfrOntOnline.cOm

WHAT’S NEW, COLORADO?

Together, we do great things. The intelligent way to buy or lease any vehicle! Hassle free experience All makes / All models New & Preowned Finance or Lease

the rOyal GOrGe BriDGe Kristin Graber new activities, events, culinary offerings, and more took a place on the map this year. let’s take a look at a few. the rOyal GOrGe BriDGe & ParK reOPeninG After a 16-month closure to rebuild due to a wildfire that demolished 90 percent of the park, The Royal Gorge Bridge and Park re-opened its gate to the public Labor Day weekend 2014, to showcase the completion of a brand new 14,500-foot visitor center and to allow visitors to walk or drive across one of the world’s highest suspension bridges. the St. reGiS aSPen reSOrt’S SKiJOrinG leSSOnS Starting January 2015, St. Regis Aspen Resort invites guests to em“bark” on the sport of skijoring with private lessons in Aspen. The St. Regis Aspen has partnered with a certified professional dog trainer to assist in training guests, and their dogs, in the art of skijoring. Those traveling without a dog have the opportunity to skijor with an adoptable pooch on loan from the Aspen Animal Shelter. A portion of proceeds goes toward the operating costs of the shelter. SteamBOat aDDS aDDitiOnal niGht SKiinG OPtiOnS Coming off its inaugural season of night skiing and snowboarding, Steamboat will add two additional nights for skiers and riders to enjoy the slopes under the lights. Night operations will now be available Thursday through Monday evenings. chilDren’S center at ButtermilK Aspen/Snowmass is excited to unveil The Hideout, a new $10 million children’s center at the base of Buttermilk Mountain. The Hideout will give children and families a

world-class facility with improved access for drop off, direct access to the mountain, and an adventurous and interactive design.

Dutch Bollinger

renOvatiOn Of GranD JunctiOn’S hiStOric avalOn theatre The Avalon Theatre has been the cornerstone of 7th and Main Street in downtown Grand Junction for 90 years and is receiving some much-needed improvements and upgrades. More than $9 million is being invested in the project, which will allow for additional seating (total capacity of 1,150), acoustic and digital audio/visual improvements, and an overall facelift providing a state of the art performance venue. the art hOtel A new 165-room boutique hotel in Denver is expected to open in late 2014, showcasing a lobby with modern art and guest rooms with vibrant art and wall coverings. The Art Hotel will be across from the new History Colorado Center and next to the Denver Art Museum. the BrOaDmOOr’S clOuD camP The wilderness retreat on Colorado’s Cheyenne Mountain, Cloud Camp is on the historic 1924 site of Broadmoor founder Spencer Penrose’s original Cheyenne Lodge and overlooks Pikes Peak to the north and the Colorado Rockies to the west. The cuisine of Cloud Camp is inspired by the life and times of Penrose during the Golden Age of the 1920s. During their stay, guests hike in the Pike National Forest, enjoy birding, photo safaris, and rock art, as well as assist the chef each evening with the preparation of the Social Hour hors d’oeuvres. 

720-746-6610 direct | 720-746-6611 fax dbollinger@hmbrown.com www.hmbrown.com

Providing distinctive care and services on the Shalom Park Campus

Patio Homes * Apartment Homes * C The Retreat * Nursing Home Wellness Center Outpatient Therapy

303-680-5000

* home health - dining - housekeeping - more

OutfrOntOnline.cOm

ShalomCares.org

D e c e m B e r 1 7, 2 0 1 4

Kia Forte

SUBARU BRZ

Ga rag e

St u f f e rs

Jonathan McGrew

f you’re looking to really make someone’s holiday wishes come true, a new vehicle might do the trick. Sure it’s a lavish gift, but it’s also one that won’t be forgotten. That is a double-edged sword, however, which means you need to pick carefully and make sure you’re aligning your vehicular gift-giving with the tastes of the recipient. To help, check out three whips you might leave in the driveway with a big red bow. For the S peed Racer Sports cars have become synonymous with high prices, but they don’t have to be. This season, take a look at the Subaru BRZ. The BRZ was developed in conjunction with Toyota (its cousin is the FR-S) and prides itself on being a fun and affordable rear-wheel drive sports coupe. The BRZ is quite playful. Moreover, it’s flexible for your daily life with the ability to fold the rear seats and carry four of its own wheels and tires — if you were wanting to do so. At about 200-hp and mpg in the mid-20s on average, the BRZ provides needed fuel economy with the power to get out on the open road and throw caution to the wind. The high points are the manual transmission, clutch, steering, and handling. The low points include road and engine noise in the cabin, seats that won’t be comfortable for everyone, and a rear seat that’s really for cargo … not passengers. For the Out doors man If the person you’re thinking of this holiday season likes the great outdoors and would appreciate a set of wheels that can hold its own out on the trails

Life is happier with a pet!

Toyota 4Runner Trail Premium

and in the urban jungle, look at the Toyota 4Runner Trail Premium. The 4Runner has been long celebrated by fans as a rough, yet livable body-onframe four-wheel drive vehicle. With its new facelift for the 2014 model year, Toyota is trying to keep the last of the body-on-frame SUVs fresh and current. With its capable and confidence-inspiring 4X4 system, the 4Runner can get you to the most remote trailheads and camp sites, while its list of options including sunroof, heated front seats, navigation, and leather seating will keep you in style and comfort during the daily grind in the urban jungle. High points are the off-road and traction control systems, classic body-on-frame design, and Toyota quality and reliability. Low points include the heavy steering qualities, stiff ride, and refreshed, but not all-new, exterior design. Fo r the Lap of Luxury Luxury is a funny thing in today’s automotive landscape. Today, you can get almost any vehicle, like a Kia Forte, with heated seats, leather, navigation, etc. In this case, I’m talking about large, comfortable, and well-appointed vehicles. If that’s what would make your person’s year, then I might suggest an up-and-coming luxury liner, the Kia K900. The K900 uses the formula that elevated the Lexus LS430 to play with the Mercedes S-Class and BMW 7-Series back in the early 2000s. It has luxury options like reclining, heated and cooled rear seats, a long wheel base for superior rear passenger room and comfort, sun shades all around, and V8 power that will propel the vehicle to 60 mph in under six seconds. High points are the price, luxury features, supple ride, and quiet cabin. Low points include the lack of brand cache, no all-wheel drive option and no auto-start feature. 

Adopt a new friend today! At the Dumb Friends League, all cat and dog adoptions include spay/neuter, a microchip ID, and initial vaccinations. Visit DDFL.org to see all adoptable animals looking for good homes. 2080 S Quebec Street, Denver • (720) 241-7117

GRACIE — ID# 0633180 I’m Gracie, a young, red tabby girl who is looking for a quiet home. I’m hoping a kind and patient person will come in and meet me. If I do say so myself, I’m quite beautiful and I warm up to people nicely. I’m just a little bit shy. Won’t you please meet me today so I can start my new life in a forever home? 2 4 | D ECEM B ER 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f r o n t o n l i n e . c o m

DOZER — ID# 0691578 Energetic, sweet boy seeks his forever home! My previous owner said it would take some time to warm up to new people. My new friends here say I love treats, am very playful, and an all-around a friendly guy. I also enjoy talking from time to time. Please come meet me!

leGal

leGal DirectOry BachuS & SchanKer, llc 866-277-6711 • www.ColoradoLaw.net 1899 Wynkoop St., Suite 700, Denver

DO I REALLY HAVE TO PAY THOSE TRAFFIC CAMERA TICKETS?

Personal Injury • Auto Accidents Worker’s Compensation • Wage Disputes BlOch & chaPleau, llc 303-331-1700 • www.BlochChapleau.com 1725 Gaylord St., Denver Family Law • Civil Union Dissolutions Pre-Union Agreements • Auto Accidents law OfficeS Of

if yoU DriVe in the DenVer Metro area, odds are you have (or will soon) receive a photo radar ticket. This ticket will include a picture of you (or someone) driving your car, a picture of your license plate, and an explanation that you were photographed while allegedly speeding or running a red light. So what should you do if you receive such a ticket? The ticket itself will have several payment options and reference the easy ways to pay your fine, and will allude to the more difficult options of contesting your identification in the photograph or pleading not guilty. There is another option. Under Colorado law, if the only witness to the traffic offense is a camera, you have to be officially served with the penalty assessment notice or summons and complaint. Being mailed the original ticket has no legal effect. Being served means the document is either handed to you by a police officer or process server, left at your home with an adult (18 or older), or mailed to your last known address via certified mail, return receipt requested. If you haven’t received the ticket by one of the formal methods listed above, service has not occurred and you have no duty to respond. If 90 days pass from the date of your alleged offense without service, your violation will automatically be dismissed. Within those 90 days, though, there is some risk to ignoring the ticket. Although points cannot be assessed against your license, if the city does move forward with personal service, you would be liable for the costs of that service, which could substantially increase the cost of the ticket. Different cities are more aggressive with moving forward with the more formal service methods, so drive carefully and remember — even empty intersections could have eyes on you. 

liSa e. fraZer, llc 303-861-7717 • www.FrazerFamilyLaw.com 936 E. 18th Ave, Denver Family Law/Civil Unions • Divorce/Dissolution • Child Custody law Office Of

ByrOn K. hammOnD, llc 303-501-1812 • www.BKH-Law.com 3900 E. Mexico Ave., Denver Wills • Trusts • Estate Planning • Probate • Elder Law wOODy law firm, llc 303-968-1711 • www.WoodyLawLLC.com 1407 Larmier St., Suite 300, Denver Dissolution of civil unions & marriages Legal Separation • Second Parent Adoption outfrontonline.com/legal-directory To advertise here, please call 303-477-4000, or email marketing@outfrontonline.com.

Got legal issues you need sorted out? Don’t hesitate to contact our friends of the family at BlochChapleau.com. The opinions expressed in this article are general in nature. For speciﬁc legal advice about your particular situation, please contact an attorney.

FAMILY LAW PRE-MARITAL AGREEMENTS DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE

PERSONAL INJURY AUTO & SKI ACCIDENTS ESTATE PLANNING & WILLS

CRIMINAL LAW DUI DEFENSE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BUSINESS LAW

Call today to speak to an attorney: 303-331-1700 Small Firm Attention, Big Firm Results Serving the LGBT Community for Over 25 Years BlochChapleau.com | 1725 Gaylord Street • Denver, CO 80206 OutfrOntOnline.cOm

D e c e m B e r 1 7, 2 0 1 4

R e a l i zat i o n s f ro m a d eca d e o f growth Brent Heinze

ith 2014 drawing to a close, many people are thinking about what they want the next year to look like. So many of us want to continue our search for ways to improve our lives, increase our chances to connect with great people, and wake up each day with a renewed excitement to get out of bed and attack the day. Having a desire to work on something is fantastic, but without a plan and the effort to make these changes, all the daydreams in the world won’t do anything to create change in our lives. I know first-hand how hard it is to start the ball rolling. As many of you know, there are parts of my life that are very public and I enjoy sharing them. Like everyone else, there are so many things that exist below my surface that people usually don’t have the opportunity to see. Growing up as a smart, chubby, socially-awkward, uncoordinated gay kid was extremely challenging for me and I’ve spent an incredible amount of energy and effort to understand, heal, and grow from these trials. This month marks the ten-year anniversary of the most significant time of change in my life where I began a completely new adventure that set me on an incredible and unexpected journey of self-discovery and strengthening of my will to become the person I feel proud to be. Here are some realizations I have come to understand that will hopefully benefit you as much as they have helped me. I can be my best friend or worst enemy We can be our own biggest supporter or an abusive bully … sometimes both depending on the situation. It’s so important to be aware of how we perceive ourselves and what our internal voice says about us. Self-deprecation and a lack of self-esteem is a huge detriment to creating a great life. We have the ability to be way more cruel and destructive to ourselves than others may be to us. Unfortunately these negative self-perceptions can permeate many parts of our lives and impact our ability to accomplish our goals. My desires are not something to feel guilty about Shame has been such a large part of many of our lives growing up and has unfortunately latched onto our adult lives. It’s hard enough to figure out what really fulfills us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. There’s no need to stomp it out instead of supporting our enjoyment. I can change my situation Almost anything can be worked on or improved. Feeling trapped in any situation reinforces feelings of powerlessness and demotivates us to get off our asses to make changes. Working to identify things we have the ability to change in our lives makes us stronger and more confident overall. Finding focus and motivation is key in this process, so don’t get trapped thinking you’re a victim of circumstance. Family is important In addition to being raised by biological parents, many 2 6 | D ECEM B ER 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f r o n t o n l i n e . c o m

of us have been supported by extended family members, neighbors, friends, and other influential people in our lives. Hold on to them and express your appreciation and affection for them as much as possible. Being surrounded with love is what makes life fulfilling. These people won’t be around forever. Reach out and let them know how much you value them in your life. The world does not have to be a hostile place Getting up every day thinking we’re going to be attacked in some way can increase feelings of paranoia and a sense of impending doom. This can stop us from recognizing amazing people and opportunities around us. Being defensive makes for a grumpy, self-loathing downer who sucks the good mood out of enjoyable situations. Courage is crucial Quit being so afraid and just get out there! Bad things happen to everyone at one time or another, and while avoiding the possibility of defeat can keep you from feeling it, most times it just keeps you from participating in life. Don’t let fear control you. Try something new. Good people are great to find Take the time to connect with as many incredible people as possible — they’re out there. Sometimes, just being open to finding them is one of the most helpful aspects of connecting with others. Don’t assume you know how every situation will play out. Take a chance and see what happens. Confidence is sexy Insecurity is definitely not an attractive quality and is especially ugly when it’s saved for the barstool or a first date. When you walk into a room, stand up straight and walk tall. If you’re in a low self-esteem mindset, you’re not going to come across to anyone as potentially interesting, charismatic, or confident. Discussing how a person is too attractive to be talking to you or how you hate your body is a horrible waste of time, and it also makes you look tragic. Also, if someone gives you a compliment, for God’s sake, just say, “thank you” instead of arguing about how they are wrong. Don’t judge a book by its cover Try not to let your own insecurities influence your thoughts about someone you haven’t taken the opportunity to get to know. Chances are you’re not psychic and may be pleasantly surprised when they don’t live up to your negative assumption. Our own insecurities can project onto other people. Avoid that. Be true to yourself and those around you Integrity is one of the few items in our lives we have almost completely within our control. What comes out of your mouth and what you do with your time and body is up to you. Live up to your own potential and follow through with what you promise to yourself and others. Don’t focus on what you need to do to make others accept you; it’s more important to find those who love you for all of our strengths, quirks, and follies.

Brent Heinze, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor. Read more online at outfrontonline.com or contact him at PerspectiveShift@yahoo.com.

“ t H e tA S t e ” P R e M i e R e V i e W i n g PA R t Y Season three of ABC’s “The Taste” premiered on December 4. Judges Anthony Bourdain, Nigella Lawson, Lude Lefebvre, and Marcus Samuelsson set out once again to find America’s best undiscovered cook. Contestants get the chance to show off their culinary skills and compete for a chance to win $100,000. A local viewing party was held at the X Bar to support Denver local Benjamin Burke who auditioned to be one of 16 culinary competitors in the cooking-themed reality competition. Burke passed his audition and was selected to Team Lude. Tune in each week to see how far he gets. The X Bar will continue to host viewing parties throughout the season as long as Burke remains in the competition. Photos by Charles Broshous • See more photos at outfrontonline.com

I ’ M A V I P. YOU COULD BE TOO.

F I N I S H L I N E CAR WASH & D ETAI L CENT ER S 1 1 6 0 S . C O L O R A D O B LV D . DENVER, CO 80246 303.756.9565

AC HIEVING CAR WAS H EXCELLEN CE. S T R IVIN G FOR PER FECT ION.

Please bring in this advertisement to receive a complimentary VIP membership. For the full details of VIP membership, please visit www.FinishLineCarwashes.com.

HOT EVENTS

BREAKING

NEWS

BAR SPECIALS EXCLUSIVE

CONTENT OutfrOntOnline.cOm

IS OUT FRONT’S NEWS & EVENTS UPDATE FOR LGBT COLORADO. E-MAILED EVERY WEDNESDAY. SUBSCRIBE FOR FREE AT OUTFRONTONLINE.COM OFCNOW.CO/ OUTBOX

D e c e m B e r 1 7, 2 0 1 4

Ca l e ndar

FA b u lo u s E V E N t s F o r lG b t c o lo r A D o & b E y o N D

NOW THRU APR 12

SEXY JESUS CONTEST

DEC 18

@ BROADWAYS 1027 BROADWAY DENVER How do you make a good thing better? You add a toy drive to it. How do you up that ante? You invite Sexy Jesus. How do take that beyond the gay stratosphere? You become Sexy Jesus. Join the gang at Broadways for a raucous ruckus where there’s never a cover. Doors open at 8pm, wigs ﬂy at 8:30! BroadwaysDenver.com

MARK MOTHERSBAUGH: MYOPIA

@ MCA DENVER, 1485 DELGANY ST. DEVO co-founder and renaissance man Mark Mothersbaugh is displaying his work from the ’70s ’til present downtown at the Museum of Contemporary Art Denver. The show is called Myopia and is a visual wildfire for lovers of contemporary art and cultural criticism. Bring your inner philosopher as Mothersbaugh asks: How can we be ourselves in the face of an impersonal, consumer-driven society? MCADenver.org

NOW

CHRISTMAS BELLES

NOW THRU DEC 20

@ SPOTLIGHT THEATRE COMPANY 7653 E. 1 ST PL., DENVER It’s Christmas-time in Fayro, Texas, and the Futrelle Sisters are not in a festive mood. Add an overdue pregnancy (twins, no less), food poisoning, and the threat of jail time, and you’ve got yourself a comedy of errors goldmine that’s got Denver shaking in the seats. ThisIsSpotlight.com

NOW

THRU

JAN 24 THE 12 INCHES OF CHRISTMAS

HOLIDAY EXTRAVAGANZA @ SPACE GALLERY, 400 SANTA F E DR. Space Gallery is pleased to present its latest exhibition, “The 12 Inches of Christmas Holiday Extravaganza!” Featuring more than 30 established artists, each will produce a mini-series in a 12x12 format. It’s been called “part show, part epic holiday party,” so feel right at home ushering the holiday season in with good cheer and local fun! SpaceGallery.org

DEC 19

THRU

DEC 28

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS!

COREY POSTIGLIONE

UGLY SWEATER MIXER

DEC 19 & 20

MOULIN SCROOGE

@ THE BUELL THEATRE DENVER CENTER FOR PERFORMING ARTS

@ EXDO, 1399 35 T H ST., DENVER • 9PM • 21+

@ THE BUG THEATRE 3654 NAVAJO ST., DENVER • 7PM

“Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas! The Musical” is the record-setting Broadway holiday sensation which features the hit songs “You’re A Mean, One Mr. Grinch” and “Welcome Christmas” from the original animated special. Magnificent sets and costumes inspired by Dr. Seuss’ original illustrations help transport audiences to the whimsical world of Whoville, so don’t miss what The New York Times calls, “An extraordinary performance! 100 times better than any bedside story.” DenverCenter.org

For this month’s Roll (the roller skating party that happens every third Friday at EXDO Events Center), the theme is Ugly Sweaters. There’s no specification that it’s an ugly Christmas sweater mixer on wheels, so break out your Garfield/Hanukkah/PugPuppy/PizzaKitten macrame dazzler from the depths of the closet and rock while you roll. Cheap drinks, free skate rentals, and a gaggle of good-humored people make for an interesting mix of workout, nice buzz, and “text me when you get out of the ER!” We tease. ExdoEvents.com

You know the sobering, kinda-sorta creepy Dickens’ tale “A Christmas Carol,” right? How about the 2001 Baz Luhrmann smash “Moulin Rouge”? Good. Now imagine the two smashed together and performed in all its drag-fab (local) glamour as the Band of Toughs brings holiday heat to warm your bones. A new tradition, it’s been called “a highly irreverent send-up, hilarious enough to cheer up even the Bahhumbug-iest of holiday grumps.” Bonus: Get a Saturday ticket for a community meal with your show. BugTheatre.info

D e c e m B e r 1 7, 2 0 1 4

OutfrOntOnline.cOm

NEW YEAR’S EVE

Bo town

Tracks

Drink specials? Check. Free champagne toast? Yep. A balloon drop and prizes? Well, of course. Male revue? Hell yeah! The show starts at 10pm, kiddos. BoyztownDenver.com

Says Tracks: “New Year’s Eve 2014 is going to be one show you don’t want to miss! The theme is TIME CAPSULE and we are going to take you on a journey through time and space by representing four distinct eras. See the past. Embrace the present. Experience the future. The NYE show will be hosted by Michelle Visage and special guest Darienne Lake.” TracksDenver.com

3500 WALNUT ST., DENVER

117 BROADWAY, DENVER

Decadence

@ COLORADO CONVENTION CENTER Bassnectar, Kaskade, Zedd, Armin Van Buuren. Yeah. We probably don’t need to say more, but in case you don’t know: Decadence is set to be the nation’s biggest dance party and it’s taking place inside the Colorado Convention Center. (Dance party? Who are we kidding — it’s a rave, c’mon.) It’s also two days’ long so make sure you’re 18+ and have plenty of money for hydration and … other stuff. Be smart and get your tickets now. DecadenceNYE.com

Lannie’s Cabaret

1601 ARAPAHOE STREET, DENVER Fireworks. Champagne. A dessert buffet. (We had you at dessert buffet.) Also: You can’t go wrong choosing a party whose graphics include a woman dressed in burlesque hanging upside-down from a hula hoop next to a guy in a red suit doing the robot. Lannie Garrett’s Big Band hosts AnySwing Goes this year. (We’ll say.) Lannies.com

Black Crown Lounge 1446 S. BROADWAY, DENVER • 8PM

One superstition has it that the manner you spend your NYE determines how the rest of your year will go, so if you want to be stylish, lavish, upscale, and sexy, head to Black Crown this year. Pay $150 to get in and enjoy the open bar, buffet, live entertainment, and champagne toast. BlackCrownLounge.com

Denver Eagle

1475 36 T H ST., DENVER • 4PM Join the party people in RiNo for endless drafts and well cocktails from 4 to 8pm. Their annual Blowout Party starts at 9pm and will have you twerking in the New Year with the house-heavy stylings of DJ DonTron! TheEagleBar.com

NEED A RIDE? SEE PAGE 10 FOR OUR NYE TRANSPORTATION GUIDE.

JAN 8 – 25

NATIONAL WESTERN STOCK SHOW

JAN 11 – 24

NATIONAL WESTERN COMPLEX 4655 HUMBOLDT ST., DENVER You’d be hard-pressed to find a calendar of events as vast and varied as that of the 16-day National Western Stock Show. From wool judging to magic shows, there’s never a dull moment so keep your schedule as wide open as a Colorado prairie and buckle up, partner — we wouldn’t steer ya wrong. NationalWestern.com

JAN 22 – 25

COLORADO COWBOY GATHERING GOLDEN, CO It’s tough not to get sentimental out there on the range, what with all the deer and antelope playin’ and what have you, which is why the performers at the Colorado Cowboy Gathering are bringing music and poetry that’ll crackle like a blazing campfire on a cold windy night. If chewing cud about range romance and the good ol’ days is your idea of a romp, you better get your tickets fast! ColoradoCowboyGathering.com

ASPEN GAY SKI WEEK Taking a look at the schedule for Aspen Gay Ski Week (and photos from years past), it’s clear the producers of the annual event pretty much go, “How much sexy can we cram into a week?” and take it from there. The evening cocktail reception says, “Come talk to me,” the ski events insist, “Show me what you got,” and the late night dance parties, fashion shows, art exhibitions, and hot tub hangouts all beckon, “Show me who you are.” GaySkiWeek.com

OutfrOntOnline.cOm

D e c e m B e r 1 7, 2 0 1 4

S EAT T L E

travel

Rust & Roma nce i n th e E mera ld C i ty Berlin Sylvestre

magine that each major american city is a family member and you’re having a family reunion. new york is your lean, gay cousin who spent way too much money on gifts for his nieces and nephews. anaheim is your eccentric bi cousin with the ironically cool mullet who designs furniture. Uncle Denver is the playful, bearded coach with the athletic wife who’s politely pretending she thinks all the pot jokes are “hysterical!”, and Uncle atlanta is the tatted cop whose wife actually did bring the weed. then there’s seattle, sleekly dressed in head-to-toe black, her modern, sweeping sidebang resting above her perfect brows and intelligent eyes, skin moist from the dew that continually saturates her city. she’s politely taking a call in the corner, smiling at people who notice she’s made it to the reunion, and gesturing with a gloved hand that she’ll only be a moment. seattle is your cousin who was adopted into the family and has always been kind of different … but in a good way. seattle is — in essence — Lydia Deets, but grown and grounded with the morose stages of her teenhood behind her. 30

D e c e m B e r 1 7, 2 0 1 4

OutfrOntOnline.cOm

JaPaneSe GarDen

Seattle art muSeum

PiKe Place marKet

verything is wet. Wooden homes, practically piling upon one another in the steep terrain of Beacon Hill, are swollen from the constant moisture of the Pacific Northwest, the architectural embodiment of the lumberjack and his work. The abundance of steel beams in sodden industrial yards give SoDo (south downtown) a rusted, skeletal look that’s grizzled and masculine. Raindrops from the window of the transit bus gather and amble sideways, a lazy feel that (along with the cloudiness and masses of walkers in puffy down jackets) soothes the soul and tells the body, “This is book-reading-on-the-couch weather, no?” Everything is alive. The saturation of clean water means the city is green with life. For brief moments, the sun glances down at the umbrella tops of Seattle, decides things are still fine, and retires. In that flash, people are reminded why Seattle’s nickname is The Emerald City. It’s lush. There are parks everywhere — even, seemingly, where they weren’t even planned. Any crack in the sidewalk or unattended cistern is host to an uninvited, but welcome, diversity of plantlife. You cannot stop the impromptu botanical outbursts here. Not in these conditions. But why would you? Everything is stylish. Off the train and into the street, the first thoughts are of San Fran, with its hilly roads that make luggage your travel beasts of burden. The air is cool, clean … a departure from the rarified (but arid) Denver variety. Taxi tires slice through silvery sheets of rainwater that suck at the soles of walkers’ shoes. Black clothing dominates the scene, scarves smartly providing a blossom of color making sure never to tip the greyscales of Seattle fashion into the colorwheel. Some say drab, others sleek. Everything is evident. Seattle isn’t a city of secrets. It’s common knowledge that prostitutes attended to the needs of lonely prospectors with a 20:1 ratio (women to men) and that the

S e at t l e U n d e rgrou n d Tour Remember those seamstresses I mentioned earlier? Get the real scoop during an underground promenade on the city beneath the city. An incredibly literate and witty tour guide will provide plenty of room for questions and hijinks as he/she schools you on the misbehavior of early Seattle settlers, early Seattle toilets, and what started the fire that reduced the city to ashes. Bonus: The same company offers a paranormal tour, where you’re released into the darkness of the underground tunnels with “ghost-hunting” equipment. But bring your own Xanax — it’s not the the faint of heart. UndergroundTour.com R i d e t h e D uc k s Tour A really goofy (but completely fun) and amphibious tour of a picturesque city, Ride the Ducks provides 90 minutes of history and trivia perfect for visitors and those new to the city. WWII-era DUKW vehicles can go from barreling down the highway through Fremont to chugging peacefully through Lake Union for a spectacular and distinctly unique view of the Emerald City’s skyline. RideTheDucksOfSeattle.com

staggering profits of what madames liked to call their “seamstresses” meant the women of the town enjoyed the power of the purse strings. In a time when women couldn’t vote, they simply bought their way into the system with campaign contributions to help pro-women politicians take seats behind the bench and fill the halls of Washington’s Congress. What was at first a city-planning embarrassment (“Why would people build on land that’s sinking?”) became a charming measure in the history of a city that, not unlike Chicago, is literally stacked above the saloons, wheat storages, and boardwalks that it used to be. The city has plenty of juicy details of debauchery — their clever prohibition curtailing being a favorite, eh Canada? — that it loves to regale visitors with. Puget Sound is mostly still, even with the ferries that continually carve through carrying passengers and their vehicles alike to adjacent islands for shopping, eating, and — if one is lucky enough — returning home. Not only is everything wet, but everyone is hydrated. It’s hard not to notice the skin of Seattle denizens. Walking through a constant mist — even when it’s so sheer it’s practically undetectable — is to walk through atomized youth, giving skin the very compound that forces glow, leaving it little choice but to fool age-guessers and spark the envy of those who didn’t grow up with the built-in fortune of effortless skin care. Swiping her phone and dropping it into her bag, Seattle emerges from the darkness of the corner, green eyes ablaze once she steps into the light. She makes her way to the small crowd and puts a light hand on the back of Uncle Denver’s orange hoodie. He turns to her and activates that mile-high grin. “You should come visit me more often,” she requests, punching his burly arm with a dainty, gloved fist. “I’m not even a three-hour flight away!” 

H os pita lity, a ccordin g to H o tel 10 0 0 Sexy waterfront views, an attentive and polished staff, housecars that take the trip to the restaurant to the next level, and a knockout piece of real estate in prime territory make Hotel 1000 a go-to when you go to The Emerald City. Amenity • noun [ 'men te/] Perks that come with the price of your room, including (but not limited to) Lexus housecars, indoor virtual golf, champagne check-ins, and a fire pit to warm yourself by as you sip cocktails from BOKA Restaurant and Bar. Bed • noun \'bed\ A mesmer of pillowy down and fresh linens that envelop the body and, along with the clouds and slow-moving barges on the water, aid in lulling you to a gentle afternoon slumber. Bathtub • noun [bath-tuhb] A deep, luxurious basin that fills when an eyelet in the tiled ceiling directly ahead allows a strong stream of fresh water to pour over the tired muscles of a weary traveler. Guest • noun ['gest] An individual who, once under your care, never goes without. Regardless of the need (a cab, fresh towels, delivery suggestions, and so forth), a guest is not subject to discomfort.

T h e Pa l ac e K i t c h e n A smoldering red glow cuts through the dark, wet night and beckons the hungry who enjoy the finer things into Palace Kitchen. Inside, a giant mural stretches the length of the dining area as an applewood-fired oven roars under the care of attentive but quicksilver chefs who bang out succulent entrées like Idaho trout, chicken with cranberry jam, and fire-roasted pumpkin with artisanal cheeses. The low lighting combined with the flickering flames and warm feel makes Palace Kitchen a romantic must for visitors. tomdouglas.com

Décor • noun [dey-kawr, di-, dey-kawr] Carpeting that is lush and richly colored in both hallways and suites, sketches of the human figure that hang along suite walls, and bold colors splashed throughout the hotel via sculptures and accent walls — all a departure from the standard abstract color patterns meant to neither offend nor particularly please the eye. Neighbors • noun ['na-b rz] Nearby buildings, districts, and centers that are easily found on foot. Pike Place Market, Seattle Art Museum, and the lively and historic Pioneer Square are a few examples. HotelSeattle1000.com

O u t f r o n t o n l i n e . c o m | D ECEM B ER 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 3 1

LUMBERSEXUAL A pictorial by Jay Diers, Jaededart Studios Model: Joshua Kary • Assistant: Alan Barwick

3 2 | D ECEM B ER 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f r o n t o n l i n e . c o m

tRAVEl

Photos: Top: Doug Bates. Bottom left: John Lorenz. Bottom right: Lisa Nagle. Photos courtesy of Orient Land Trust.

HOT S PRInGS In THE COLD MOnTHS

Mine. Keep following the trail up the mountain to reach the Glory Hole. (Yes, you read that right.) But it’s a fair bit more grisly than risqué. The Glory Hole vAlley vIew hot sprIngs. is the massive cave on the side of the mountain that was left by a collapsed There’s just something magical about looking out over a snowy landscape mining tunnel. while you’re toasty warm in 103-degree water. Tucked in the San Luis More hiking trails spread out over the area if you venture into the nearby Valley, the springs are a part of the Orient Land Trust (OLT), whose primary National Forest. The dunes of Great Sand Dune National Park are about a mission is to create and maintain a safe, natural environment for folks of half hour south. It’s worth the trip if you’ve never been to sand dunes before, all ages. What does that mean for you? You can throw although you can only run up and down them so your clothes off and have a soak in some of the most many times before it stops being entertaining. gorgeous springs around. Tent camping is available year round, with Tucked in the San luis Valley, the The property has purposefully been left rustic. The heated cabins as a cozier option in the winter. springs are a part of the Orient land water is crystal clear, but you can expect to be sitting All of the cabins have shared bathrooms. Most of on rocks and algae in the springs. There are a few Trust (OlT), whose primary mission is the cabins have shared kitchens, although a few ponds right off the parking area, and a few more you offer private kitchenettes. Members are able to to create and maintain a safe, natural reserve cabins in advance. They tend to book up, can reach with a short and easy hike. If you’re feeling environment for folks of all ages. so springing for a membership is prudent if you a bit more ambitious, a quarter-mile uphill hike will want to ensure you’ll have a warm bed to snuggle take you to three pools, affectionately known as the top ponds, overlooking the valley. The view from the into after an evening of soaking. Many of the cabins top ponds is worth the effort, and the distance means you probably won’t have enough space for anywhere from 4 – 8 people. Grab a couple friends be sharing them with as many other visitors. for the weekend and head out for a getaway. If you’d rather just make a quick visit, day passes are also an option. The Overnighters are welcome to the entire property through the wee hours. Bring a headlamp if the moon won’t be out — the land is largely free of area is littered with bed & breakfasts if you’re looking for accommodations artificial lighting. On clear nights when the moon is full, it’s easy enough to which are a bit more polished. There are plenty more gems to visit throughout navigate the trails even without a flashlight. Bring a robe or it’ll be a long, the area, but I’ve only just begun to see them all. Somehow, I just never miserable walk back to your cabin when the cold air hits your wet skin. manage to make it past the sweet relaxation of kicking back in the springs.  Between soaks, you can explore the web of trails around the hot springs. To the north, an easy trail will take you to the ghostly remnants of the Orient Ready to go? Plan your trip at OLT.org Kari Sutton

OutfROntOnlinE.COM

D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4

TRAVEL

A Gay Ol’ Week Noah L. Jordan As a young gay boy who spent most my childhood in Arizona and Minnesota, I never truly knew the value of learning to ski. Then I learned about Aspen Ski Week, and have since “mastered” the social sport. While proceeds from this year’s event will benefit the Roaring Fork Gay and Lesbian Community Fund, an organization that has promoted tolerance, understanding, and diversity through education, community action, and service since 1996, I’m not-so-secretly hoping the event will benefit my extended social calendar, too. (Don’t act like you haven’t thought about it.) As the nation’s oldest and largest gay ski event, last year, AGSW hosted more than 4,000 guests in the legendary mountain town, featuring pristine piste on four mountains, lively après-ski parties, and nightly events — including a Comedy Night with Mario Cantone from “Sex in the City.” You remember him, right? He was the non-balding gay. No offense, Willie Garson. This year, AGSW is set up for another unforgettable year for all in attendance. Every afternoon during Aspen Gay Ski Week, Limelight Hotel will host après-ski parties from 3 to 7pm. These events feature DJ entertainment, free gifts from this year’s sponsors, a hospitality suite, a heated pool, two hot tubs, and are predicted to host nearly 1,000 attendees daily. On Friday afternoon, the popular annual downhill costume contest, hosted by Miss Richfield 1981 (a Minnesota gal) seen on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” and “The Today Show,” draws out the all the Aspen spectators. Throughout the years, contestants such as Madonna, St. Paulie girls, and water skiers, have be seen skiing down Aspen Mountain in riotous costumes. Aspen Gay Ski Week showcases daily events, including (but not limited) the following:

LET IT SNOW! Kristin Graber

here’s no better place to celebrate the holidays than a destination filled with snow-covered trees, white-capped mountains, and streets sparkling with holiday lights. Colorado is a picturesque holiday escape, so stay within her borders for the ultimate in ho ho wholesome, in-state travel. Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park Winter on the Mountain (Glenwood Springs) From Nov. 1 through Jan. 4, 2015, Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park will be lit up with more than half a million lights — 35 miles of lights to be exact. There will also be a warming hut, fire pits, and a new 4D movie along with the thrill rides. The Alpine Coaster and the Soaring Eagle Zip Ride will be lit and open, and the caves will be filled with holiday lighting.

Sunday: Opening Party At 9pm, ski-week revelers enjoy an opening cocktail reception, followed by a late night party at Bootsy Bellow’s. Monday: Late Night Party The popular subterranean late-night club, Escobar, will host a party complete with go-go dancers and bottle service tables. Tuesday: Film Night Gala Hosted by the historic Wheeler Opera House, Film Night Gala will screen the cult classic, “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” Wednesday: Fashion & Art Night Out Aspen is home to world-class shopping and a plethora of stores will keep their doors open late, including Panerai, Testosterone, Peter Lik, Gucci, Salon Myo, and Elliott Yeary Gallery. Caribou & Cowboys The Caribou Club will host Wednesday’s party in western style — all to benefit the Matthew Shepard Foundation. Thursday: Masquerade Channel your inner Phantom of the Opera or whatever other mask you can find at the Sky Hotel for a night of intrigue and mystery. The event will be held on two levels with DJs, go-go dancers, and more.

Greeley Festival of Trees (Greeley) Twenty-seven years ago, an annual tradition was created by the City of Greeley and the Greeley Philharmonic Guild. This tradition is a week-long extravaganza (Nov. 28 – Dec. 6) in which guests enjoy a forest of beautifully decorated trees, each with its own theme. Also, check out Candy Cane Lane, which presents evergreens decorated by the “mini-crafters” who compete for the Kid’s Choice Ribbon. Bring the kids along to visit Santa and Mrs. Claus, take a horse and carriage ride, and hear the beautiful, merry music from the Christmas choirs. Visit Santa at The North Pole (Colorado Springs) Visitors can make a trip to Santa’s Workshop, also known as The North Pole, from now through Dec. 24. This Christmas-themed amusement park has two dozen family rides to choose from. Meet Santa and his elves, ride on an Aerial Tram through the sky, and don’t forget to touch snow that never melts.

3 4 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

Friday: Comedy Night On Friday, Belly Up hosts “LEZBERADOS,” a fierce and funny comedy show featuring Sandra Valls and her ridiculous “sister from a different mister,” LOGO’s Mimi Gonzalez. Ultraviolet Dance Party Pack some extra glow sticks and glow-in-the-dark undies for Friday’s Ultraviolet Dance Party, the glow-in-the-dark neon extravaganza at Belly Up with DJ-driven beats. Saturday: Pool & Dance Party Bust out your itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini because Aspen Recreation Center will once again host the infamous pool party, featuring DJs, dancing, hot tubs, water slides, a lazy river, and open bars. Whether you plan using AGSW to lose your skiginity, your inhibitions, or even just your clothes for a few nights, AGSW is an experience like none other. And just like Pride weekend, we won’t judge you when the dust settles — just be safe and smart because what happens in Aspen might not always stay in Aspen.  To learn more about Aspen Gay Ski Week and event updates, visit GaySkiWeek.com.

The Polar Express™ (Golden) Take a 75-minute journey on the THE POLAR EXPRESS™ beginning Nov. 21 through Dec. 28 at the Colorado Railroad Museum. While waiting for the train to arrive, dancing chefs and waiters serve cookies, and hot chocolate while sharing the story of the Polar Express. Once on the train, see the story come to life around the train. At the North Pole, look for Santa’s bag of toys and the giant Christmas tree. Race of the Santas (Breckenridge) Come see hundreds of Santas, or participate with them, on a six-block race down Main Street in Breckenridge the first weekend of December. The event is to help benefit the local charity, Adopt an Angel. The festivities continue with the Lighting of Breckenridge. Join Santa as he greets visitors from his horse-drawn carriage. The event is $15 for those who have their own suit and $45 for registration plus a suit.  Find more information at Colorado.com.

SKIING 101

isa Jones so you wAnnA leArn to sKI. Excellent. Let’s start out with a few basics that’ll graduate you from total newbie to just ... kinda-sorta newbie. GEAR Gear is easily the most expensive part of skiing, because you need a lot of stuff and none of it comes cheap. For the actual skis and boots (or snowboard and boots), you can often find them cheap at a sale or a used sporting goods store. But if you don’t feel committed enough to drop a few hundred bucks, it’s affordable and easy just to rent every time you head to the mountains. Plus, you’ll be suited up by a professional who knows exactly what hardware will work for you. Other stuff you’ll need: snow jacket, snow pants, comfy (thick) socks, a helmet, gloves, and goggles. That sounds like a lot, and it kind of is, especially when you’re trying to throw it all into your trunk at 6am without forgetting anything. Before you rush out to the North Face store and drop a grand on a jacket made for summiting Everest, ask around to see if any of your friends have old gear. Most people buy new gloves and pants and whatnot every few years, so they probably have some lying around they don’t use. After the mass texts to generous friends have been sent, browse some online sale sites and used sporting goods stores. TheClymb.com and SteepAndCheap. com are two outdoor gear sites that have constant sales on last year’s models of jackets, goggles, and more. You can snag some stylish swag for more than fifty-percent off. In addition, while looking great on the runs is important, having gear that functions — meaning the gloves are warm, the goggles don’t fog, and the jacket fits — is the most important part. So don’t sacrifice warmth for style. There are few things worse than freezing on top of a mountain. WhERE ShOulD yOu GO AnD ShOulD yOu GEt A PASS? There’s no shortage of places to shred the pow in this great state, so deciding where to go can be a bit of a challenge. If this is your first season, it’s best to

go somewhere that has a ton of space for the first-timers. You can go explore the back bowls and black diamonds later once you learn how to turn and make it more than ten feet without falling. Winter Park has a ton of beginner terrain, as does Keystone and Eldora. Those three are also very close, but it’s always a good call to explore resorts’ online maps before you head out and see where all the bunny hills and green lines are. As far as getting a pass goes, don’t drop five-hundred dollars on an Epic pass. It’s not for you; it’s for the crazies skiing over cliffs and backflipping off jumps. Because skiing just one day will run you about a hundred bucks (it’s disgusting, we know), it’s best to buy a 3 or 5 pack from one place. You may want to explore all the resorts, but going over the same runs again and again will make you more comfortable on your board or skis, and that’s what matters the first season. A lot of resorts have bundle packs, and Liftopia.com has deals for every day of the week. BEGinnER tiPS Take a lesson. Lessons are not that expensive and just having someone you trust talk you through everything can be a game-changer. Don’t feel embarrassed about learning with the little nuggets while your friends go off on mogul runs. Everyone had to start somewhere. Don’t be pushed into something you aren’t comfortable with. You’re going to fall a lot and feel insecure on your board or skis for a while. Don’t add stress to that by going down a run that scares you just because someone suggested it. That’s how you end your season in the hospital with a broken leg. Be patient. Have we mentioned the falling yet? Because you will fall, constantly. You will also take wrong turns, go too fast, freak out on the lift, fall again, lose your poles, run into another skier, and fall some more. It’s ok. This sport takes time, so just go with the flow and celebrate the little achievements along the way. Have fun! You’re dragging your ass out of bed before dawn, suffering through traffic just to get up a mountain in the cold and careen down it. You better have fun while you do it or it’s going to be a long, miserable season.  OutfROntOnlinE.COM

D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4

T h e S u n , S a n d , & S e a m en o f S a n D i e go Yves Navant

hen considering that winters in Colorado are so cold that even twinky barbacks bundle up to survive the subzero temperatures, I often daydream about warmer alternatives. The smart traveler would flee the freeze in a pragmatic manner — I’d suggest California, specifically San Diego. Less sleaze than Los Angeles and a little more sedate than San Fran. Unless you want to return to the Mile High in need of a vacation from your vacation, San Diego is truly one of my favorite American cities. Flying into San Diego is an experience itself, as it appears you’re flying right into the downtown area. (Your plane descends directly into a crowded metropolitan area.) San Diego’s oceanside airport is comparatively small, but it is the gateway to a lovely west coast city, so we tactfully overlook that. San Diego’s Hillcrest area is very LGBT friendly and in fact, is branded as such, with a large (and I mean large) city-approved and privately funded Pride flag that waves appropriately at the intersections of University Avenue and Normal Street. Hillcrest is the most populated area of the city, which makes perfect sense because homosexuals typically make things cool, fashionable, and relevant. Hillcrest is also close to the historic Gaslamp Quarter, a charmingly urban iteration of Victorian architecture with an acceptably gentrified vibe thanks to an era of urban renewal that began in the 80s and 90s. The Gaslamp features several entertainment venues and nightclubs and some fairly stellar restaurants. Downtown San Diego features some exceptional hotels, and some not so. The US Grant is a luxury hotel by way of historic building and seems to have more than its fair share of handsome bellhops. The W San Diego is like a tall nightclub with all the amenities you want in a hotel but never actually use, ideal for cruising younger and presumably slightly privileged travelers. The W’s room rates are nearly what a real person and their roommates would pay for rent monthly, which is odd citing the hotel’s precarious geographical

location in an area of the city that could use a bit more ... gentrification. While on a business trip in San Diego, I was returning to the W one evening and had to walk through a tent city while carrying a Louis Vuitton laptop bag, so that was understandably awkward. Returning to my exorbitantly priced room didn’t seem as grand after I appeared to be a privileged storm trooper, marching through a crowd of homeless families. I also experienced odd, middle-of-thenight knocks on my room door at the W. (Luckily I could provide what the visitor was looking for. I can’t imagine I’m the only guest who has survived this phenomenon.) The Manchester Grand Hyatt is by far my favorite. Book now and acquire a room on a high floor — I promise you’ll thank me. The Manchester Grand’s cinematic lobby makes all of my youthful dreams of opulence a reality. The higher rooms have a spectacular ocean view and overlook the Gaslamp Quarter, while also providing a voyeuristic paradise; each tower’s internal rooms face one

another, allowing guests a peek at a crossword puzzle of people-watching greatness. It’s like “Rear Window” but hotter and without the killing. On my last visit, I was staying on the same floor as Charlie and Max Carver and two cast members from some Comedy Central show, one of them being the round-faced kid from “Pitch Perfect.” Clearly from this missive, you can tell I adore San Diego; the pace of the city, the natives, the ocean air; the servicemen and women. I musn’t fail to mention that San Diego is a military city, hosting our brave men and women from the United States Navy. To further entice travelers to visit San Diego, it must be said that some of those aforementioned brave men and women are impossibly attractive. Who doesn’t want a brief and passionate fling with a Naval Officer while you’re taking a break from your daily routine? I know I do. Book some travel to San Diego. I’ll meet you there. 

Can cun , M X Pieter Tolsma I love the idea of jetting off somewhere with a carry-on (I will not be paying extra) full of dreams and big ideas (crammed into the overhead compartment). Those big ideas are probably based on too many Disney movies and often the reality is far different and less secure than a trip to see friends. My adventure began innocently enough when we decided to use a Groupon for a trip to Cancun — the boyfriend and I love a bargain as much as he hates winter weather. Having never been to Mexico, I was quite excited, although somewhat concerned because Cabo San Lucas had just been blown off the map by a hurricane and the closest countries for assistance to our destination was Belize or Cuba, which was hardly comforting. Did I mention we were essentially buying our all-inclusive trip with a coupon book? An ONLINE coupon book in a country where my phone doesn’t have internet service. That little fact did not exactly soothe my rattled nerves. Our plane was brimming with entitled, obnoxious newlyweds. We were actually asked twice if we would split up so that newly married couples could sit together. As a side note, those his and hers bedazzled “Just Married” jackets e 3 6 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

Hunkering Down Under Rob Barger Alright people, it’s time to face facts: If you aren’t a skier, snowboarder, or jolly loaf stuck in an inner tube gliding down the slopes, winter is not your friend. Dry skin, slippery roads, brown sludge getting in your boots … it’s just too much to handle. And don’t even get me started on ice, the cruel mistress. If you’d like to take a break from your soaring heat bills and spend some money on something you’ll actually appreciate, splurge on tickets to Australia. I know traveling to another country seems aggressive (why not just Hawaii?) but in the end, Australia’s pros greatly outweigh the cons of taking such a long excursion. Australia is in the southern hemisphere, and if you’ll kindly remember that lesson in sixth grade, that means the seasons are opposite from the northern hemisphere. 35 fahrenheit in Colorado corresponds to 35 celsius in Australia. Australia’s beaches are universally famous. Bondi beach in Sydney is probably the most well known. Though it’s a topless beach (laaadies!), my group of friends did spot a man sunbathing naked until he was arrested, and until you’ve seen cops wearing full uniform on a sandy beach in 90+ degree weather, you haven’t lived. Another plus

of Australian beaches are lifeguards. In America, most lifeguards’ jobs are part time. In Australia, it’s a full-time, elite position, and it seems like one of the first qualifications is to be insanely attractive. They even have their own TV show called “Bondi Rescue” and it’s better than porn. You’re going to be tempted to swim a little too far from shore so a lifeguard has to paddle out on a surfboard to bring you back in. If swimming is less your style, staying in the hub of Sydney’s streets are sure to keep you busy for the length of your stay. Like any far-off populated place, the culture is a melting pot of many different countries, making the bazaars and flea markets a sight to behold. Cuisine is spectacular, and kangaroo burgers are highly recommended — where else can you munch on one of those? (Kangaroos are to Australia what deer are to Colorado, so eating them is considered kosher and, in fact, healthy!) There’s something else: Mardi Gras in Sydney is their version of Pride, and it’s totally insane. If you can hold off and suffer through winter long enough to take a break in February, you absolutely won’t regret it. Tan, sweaty, hard surfer bodies mix with a never-ending rain of glitter, boxed wine (the only affordable alcohol in Australia due to the country’s anti-binge drinking laws), and a several-hours-long parade. This year’s festival

set off all sorts of TSA alarms. My advice? Leave them in the discount bin where you found them or use them in the field, as I imagine that gratuitous beading will work great with crows. Mexican customs was a breeze. After retrieving our luggage, we wandered up to the agent and she had us each press a button. Button flashes green, you are good to go. It it flashes red, the agent opens your bag, glares into the depths of your soul whilst snapping her gum, and sends you on your way. The biggest trial is wading through the local bus-tour vendors just outside the frosted glass doors of customs. Pro-tip: Steering your flight attendant-style suitcase ahead of you like a steam roller helps clear the path. Our hotel was beautifully manicured. It was far enough away not to be noisy, but not so far that we were too near the “adults only” hotel with its attempts at erotic Adam and Eve-themed modern art. The white sand beaches are an amazing palliative for the cold winter snow. Word to the wise, any nighttime swimming will get you a stern, mostly-Spanish warning that manta rays are very jealous … or perhaps are very dangerous … or perhaps the guard merely found me eating an ice cream cone while

starts on February 20 and goes until March 8, so if you want to make that your whole trip (and who could blame you?) buy your tickets soon. Summer not really your season either? Sweaty skin sticking to itself, the inescapable heat, the horrible pounds’ worth of sunscreen you have to slather on your body ... is it too much? You may need a trip to Australia’s sister, New Zealand. NZ is closer to Antarctica than the equator, so in the summer, the weather is more like a balmy spring day than an intense heat wave. And as a bonus, you’ll see the beautiful splendor of the Kiwi country: true ice-blue glacial lakes, stunning snow-capped mountains sloping off into the sea, dense rainforests punctuated with spring water safe to drink without use of purification tools or chemicals, wildlife unique to New Zealand, and for the nerd inside all of us: “Lord of the Rings” tours. As a bonus, the people of these southern hemispheric countries are generally very nice and curious about Americans. We export our culture, so much of their media is American, and with the election of Barack Obama, our politics don’t provoke them nearly as much as Bush-era’s did. You’ll find a (very) warm welcome and if you’re lucky, a barbeque waiting for you as soon as you land — a far cry from the frigid temperatures of a mid-winter midwest. 

wading through the shallows in the dark a bit unnerving. (I really need to learn more Spanish for next time.) If you’re going to leave your beach chair, you need to see the ruins. They’re nearly next door on hotel maps. In actuality, the bus ride is a Macro Polo-esque journey that takes hours upon hours, especially when the bus stops at nearly every roadside trinket shop along the way. I will say, though, that the multitude of stops showed me how much the population loves Spiderman and the Virgin Mary. I enjoy them both too, although quite differently. Chichen Itza and the other monuments are beautiful and well worth the drive. If you take the tour, bring an umbrella for the searing sun or sudden rain because both are challenging. The vendors surrounding every forest clearing will Chichen Itza drive you out into the field and into the oppressive sun, unless you actually want a Spiderman statue. If there is one thing I took away from Mexico besides a sunburn, it’s admiration of the lax attitude the local people take towards copyright law. I think of it every time before I go to bed and gaze upon my statue of Virgin Spider Mary.  O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 3 7

Day-A er Dining luCilE’S CREOlE CAfE

fOODuCOPiA

SunRiSE/SunSEt

SnOOzE

Amanda Moutinho It’s the new yeAr And you’ve vowed to mAKe thIs one count. You can start if off right with a delicious meal full of magical, greasy items to counteract the bucket of champagne you consumed last night. Pop those aspirin, throw on a comfy sweater, and greet the New Year. Here’s a list of places open on New Year’s Day so you can plan ahead and beat the rush. fOODuCOPiA 1939 E. Kentucky Ave., Denver • opens at 9am You’ll find a cornucopia of delicious food at Fooducopia (sorry, couldn’t resist). There’s a slew of amazing options, but if your sweet tooth is kicking in, Fooducopia serves incredible, fluffy French toast slathered in syrup that will make you happy to be alive.

nE W Y E a R ’S DaY B R E a KFaSTS TO Cu R E T H aT H a n GOV E R

alcohol? Pete’s Kitchen offers huge plates covered in scrumptious food to cure any hangover. Check out its small-town-diner vibe and break bread with the locals. thE hORnEt 76 Broadway, Denver • opens 10am What more could you ask for than homemade Poptarts? How about a $2 bloody Mary bar? For those who need some hair of the dog, The Hornet features plenty of adult drinks to help you out of your hangover and aggravate your liver even further. PhO 79 1080 S. Havana St., Aurora • opens 9am If a hangover is killing your vibe, it’s best to drown your sorrows in a giant bowl of pho, and there’s no better place for that than Pho 79. The Vietnamese restaurant is just what you’ll need to feel warm and happy inside.

SunRiSE/SunSEt 9134 W. 6th Ave., Lakewood • opens 6:30am There’s something for everyone on this menu. There are tons of incredible omelets, but the real star is the skillet packed with potatoes, meat, and veggies. If you’re not too full, grab an ooey gooey homemade cinnamon roll for dessert.

ARAuJO’S 2900 W. 26th Ave., Denver • opens 5am It’s the classic local Mexican joint with yummy burritos so cheap you can scarf down two. Or three. Or four. Araujo’s has one of the best breakfast burritos in Denver and the green chili is an added bonus.

PEtE’S KitChEn 1962 E. Colfax Ave., Denver • open 24 hours Leaving the bar and need something to soak up the

thE BREAKfASt KinG 300 W. Mississippi Ave., Denver • open 24 hours The Breakfast King is a Denver institution, and

WINE &

DINE 38

D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4

JElly CAfE

thE hORnEt

it’s the king for a reason. You can never go wrong with anything on their menu. Check out the chicken-fried steak smothered in gravy, and you won’t want to eat anything else for the rest of the year. SnOOzE 2262 Larimer St., Denver • opens 6:30am It’s no wonder Snooze always has a line out the door. Its menu is stacked with pancakes, eggs, breakfast sandwiches, and even “fancy meats” like beef barbacoa. It’s also a haven for hollandaise lovers. JElly CAfÉ 600 E. 13th Ave., Denver • opens 7am If you can’t stomach anything heavy, head to the Jelly Café and grab some toast with yummy jelly. But if you’re feeling up to it, you can’t go wrong with the breakfast sliders or various hashes. There’s a happy atmosphere that will be sure to pull you out of any alcohol-induced funk. luCilE’S CREOlE CAfE 275 S. Logan St., Denver • opens 8am Some people need a little spicy southern food. Actually, all people could use that. Lucile’s biscuits are reason enough to go, but it’s even better topped with the incredible sausage gravy. The Cajun food will you give the kick you need to start off the year right. 

DJ’s 9th Avenue Cafe HaMBuRGER MaRY’S 700 East 17th Ave. Denver • 303-832-1333 hamburgerMarys.com/denver

OutfROntOnlinE.COM

DJ’S 9TH aVEnuE CaFE 865 Lincoln St. Denver • 303-386-3375 DjsCafe.biz

BUSINESS LUNCH like we mean it

One free entrée for your party of four or more when you mention this ad, Monday through Friday

Great food • Friendly service • Two fabulous locations

865 Lincoln Street 303-386-3375

3838 Tennyson Street 303-482-1841

In a hurry? Place your order online at djscafe.biz

Dont forget Tuesday is $15.00 Liters of House Margarita Gold!

FUN AFFORDABLE DELICIOUS

Not all green chili is created equal. Come in and get your Benny’s fix. 301 EAST 7TH AVE. • 303 894 0788 BENNYSRESTAURANT.COM OutfROntOnlinE.COM

D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4

MARQUEE

TRanSFORMIn G M InDS How “Transparent” is changing lives with light, love, and warmth.

FILMS On TaP: DIE HaRD

Photos: Amazon

December 12 Sie FilmCenter, 2510 East Colfax Denverfilm.org

JEffREy tAMBOR in “tRAnSPAREnt,” nOW StREAMinG On AMAzOn.COM

Chris Azzopardi

FORBIDDEn BROaDWaY: aLIVE & KICKInG! November 15 – March 1, 2015 Garner Galleria Theatre, Denver DenverCenter.org

FIDDLER On THE ROOF November 14 – February 28, 2015 5501 Arapahoe Ave. • Boulder BDtStage.com

SHE LOVES ME November 25 – December 21 6901 Wadsworth Blvd. • Arvada ArvadaCenter.org

WhEn A ShOW MAKES itS MARK On SOCiEty, it’S MORE thAn JuSt tV — it’S hiStORy. In 2014, we met Maura, the protagonist of the brazen, boundary-breaking “Transparent,” a dramedy centered on a 70-something maleto-female’s journey in coming out to her family. Written by Jill Soloway (“Six Feet Under”) and produced by Amazon with a standout lead performance from Jeffrey Tambor, the show is being heralded as an Emmy contender for its authentic look at trans life. In a recent interview, Tambor and associate producer Zackary Drucker, an MTF herself, talked about the power of “Transparent.” Jeffrey, what drew you to the Maura character? I was coming into Los Angeles from my home in New York, and I was doing a talk show and my representatives, who are tremendous, are always on the lookout for really good things. They sent me this script by Jill Soloway, and I got off the plane. I had a 15-minute drive to my hotel, and by the time I got there, I had read this. I called them and I said, “I’m in, I’m in, I’m in. Let me meet Jill.” Jill and I met the next day and that afternoon I saw her movie “Afternoon Delight,” and I called her again. You know, in the pilot, I don’t have that big of a role, but you could just see how beautiful that family and their dynamic was. You could see that Jill was after big themes, but the people were so real, so authentic, and so accessible, and so I just said, “I’m in.” Even though your role is slight during the pilot, your presence is massive. Thank you. The key scene in that pilot is around that table. That barbecue scene — I could watch that on a loop for the rest of my life. I remember when we were filming that and every face I looked into was just filled with genius and light and quicksilver moods. It’s really a real coup of casting. With so few representations of transgender people in the media, and trans visibility being at the forefront culturally, what kind of

D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4

OutfROntOnlinE.COM

responsibility did you feel to Maura and to the trans community? A huge responsibility. I had nervous self-tappings on my shoulder the whole time. I don’t think I have been as nervous as when I did the scene where I had to come out to my daughter Sarah (Amy Landecker). I was shaking, and not because I was nervous about being good, or nervous about being talented, or nervous about learning the lines — I wanted to do it right. I turned to Jill many times during the making of this, and to Zackary and (co-producer) Rhys Ernst many times, and said, “This is big. This is huge.” You would feel it at times and think, “This is so much more than all of us put together. This is a big movement.” [Zackary Drucker]: Jeffrey brings a tremendous amount of humanity to this role, and from a very internal place without falling into stereotypes or tropes of other representations of trans people that we’ve seen. I think this show is a huge step in the right direction, and as a trans person, I have a lot of hope, actually, that there are many more to come. This is one big step for bringing trans people into pop culture and into television and film. What’s been problematic about the way transgender people are portrayed in the media? [Drucker]: First of all, trans people have been relegated to victims or villains. Then, outside of that, there are a few more recent examples, but they’re still being written by cisgender people. The bigger problem in our representation is that it’s not inclusive to the trans community; (there’s a lack of) collaboration with the trans community to create a more authentic portrait. But this production, from the bottom up, was very inclusive. I mean, one of the first things we implemented was a “trans-affirmative” action program to hire as many trans people in as many departments as possible, which created a certain amount of spontaneous authenticity. I think that Jeffrey was really able to immerse himself in our community as an incredible cisgender ally. We’re lucky to have him on our side. C O N T I N U E D O N N E X T PAG E



Jeffrey, how did working with three consultants from the trans com- direction, but mostly her writing, which is so authentic. People’s first sentence munity, including zackary, affect your performance? to me is, “I didn’t know what to expect,” and the second sentence has some The humanness. The authenticity. The vulnerability. You know, I had a real praise, like, “... but I thought it was so fantastic.” So I am sure there is skeptiawakening, because I thought the exteriorization actually took care of itself. cism from some people or, “Oh, that’s the guy from ‘Arrested Development’ Zackary and Rhys were very helpful in that area, but most of the work was, and he’s gonna be a trans person,” but we just keep saying, “Take a look at it.” as Zackary mentioned, interior. I had to really And people are really [finding it] praise-worthy. plum them of their [experiences]. I would ask When we opened “Transparent” in Los very deep questions, and then I had to ask myself Angeles, that line where Maura says, “All my deep questions. I had to go within. life I’ve been dressing up as a man,” the audience This is not a walk in the park. You either have broke out into applause. It was unbelievable. So I didn’t have that [concern]. I felt very protected to go into yourself or you don’t. I mean, I had to find out where the Maura was in me, and there by the writing. That’s some good writing. I mean, is a Maura in me and I love her. It’s been one of there’s good writing and there’s “good” writing, the most incredible experiences. but this is off the charts. This was not in my technical bag of tricks. I had to dig a bit. But I had such wonderful help What do you hope non-trans people take and such allies, and there was no one on the set away from “transparent”? with crossed arms and raised eyebrows. People I would like for them to take away something were really in my corner and that meant a lot. Jenny Boylan (a consultant to the production) said I was scared with a capital “S,” I gotta tell you, to me the other day — to all of us, rather. She said, especially the first week or so. “For the first time, I’m looking at the television By the way, I have to give kudos to a splendid screen and I’m seeing myself represented.” I actress, Alexandra Billings, who plays my friend hope that’s what people feel. But I also hope that Davina — a great actress and also a member of we go away and play our part in the dispelling of ignorance, prejudice, and phobias. I hope we the trans community. We had so many scenes This show has the power to really change together and she helped me so much — not by shed light on a subject that needs light, love, everyone’s perceptions of trans people. anything she said overtly, but by just playing and warmth. [Drucker]: One of the amazing things about together in the scene. Everything was so delightWe’ve been so invisible, and i think the trans community is how diverse it is. It’s a ful and I learned so much. Her stamp of approval America’s ready. meant so, so much to me. One of the most genertremendous challenge because we’re starting ous performers I’ve ever worked with. from zero and creating representation, and it may be impossible to truly represent everybody, but we hope that this show Were there any concerns, Jeffrey, that people would have trouble taking expands everyone’s notion of difference. We all have trans people in our you seriously as transgender after dealing with gender identity issues extended families — that’s increasingly something I hear in conversation — and this show has the power to really change everyone’s perceptions of in a more comical setting during “Arrested Development”? I don’t mean to be glib about this, but I was so protected by Jill and Jill’s trans people. We’ve been so invisible, and I think America’s ready. 

C H R I S T M A S 2 0 1 4 AT T H E M O V I E S Shanna Katz

intO thE WOODS

thE intERViEW

unBROKEn

It’s chrIstmAs mornIng. The presents have been torn open, and the piles of discarded wrapping paper have been cleaned up. Leftovers from a festive Christmas Eve have been put away, and the remnants of Christmas brunch, mimosas and all, are left lazily on the table while folks gather and chat about plans for the rest of the day. Whether or not children are involved, many people have reached their celebratory peak by 11am on Christmas Day, and suddenly need something to do, whether to just get out of the house or to entertain sugared-up kids and out-of-town visitors. A simple solution? The movies! For decades, the idea of heading to the silver screen on Christmas Day was frequently attributed to Jewish families who had no connection to December 25 other than enjoying recent releases with no lines. In recent decades, however, many people head to the theater, and by evening on the 25th, movie theater parking lots are packed. Studios producing these movies finally caught on to this and while in the past, Christmas Day releases were fewer and more rare (like 1962’s “To Kill a Mockingbird”), they have since stepped up their holiday game. In fact, in the ’90s and early 2000s, some years saw as many as eight new movies open on Christmas Day. Some memorable films having a holiday-tastic opening include “Grumpy Old Men” (1992), “Evita” (1996), “As Good As It Gets” (1997), “The Producers” (2005), “Dreamgirls” (2006), as well “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (2008), “Django Unchained” (2012), and last year’s “The Secret life of Walter Mitty” and “The Wolf of Wall Street.” Clearly, studios have realized that Christmas Day

openings can be a total gold mine and have changed their release schedules accordingly. So what movies are opening on Christmas Day this year? The much-anticipated big-screen version of the popular musical “Into the Woods” will be released on Christmas day this year. With a high-powered group of actors including Meryl Streep, Johnny Depp, Anna Kendrick, Chris Pine, Emily Blunt, and more in an ensemble cast, this film helps to retell the stories of many popular fairies tales from a whole new angle. Sets look beautiful, and while musicals have done fabulously on Christmas Day (“Dreamgirls”) and poorly (“Nine”), it seems as though “Into the Woods” will be a home run. The dude-bro centered action comedy “The Interview” is looking forward to a December 25 release. Created, written, and directed by Seth Rogen, the basic plot is that two celebrity journalists with little experience in world politics land an interview with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un. They are subsequently asked by the CIA to use this opportunity to assassinate this leader. “The Interview” also stars Mr. Rogen alongside James Franco, Lizzy Caplan, and several cameos by well-known celebrities. Finally, “Unbroken” is a drama directed by Angelina Jolie that follows the true story of Louis “Louie” Zamperini (played by Jack O’Connell), a former Olympic track star whose plane crashes in the Pacific. Zamperini and two crew members survive, only to be captured by Japanese soldiers and held as prisoners of war during WWII. Cast includes Domhnall Gleeson (Bill Weasley in the Harry Potter films), Garrett Hedlund, and Finn Wittrock. 

OutfROntOnlinE.COM

D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4

INTO THE WOODS Nico Stoerner “Be careful what you wish for.” Desire. It’s among the most instinctive — and powerful — emotions we know, and it’s the brush with which the magical “Into the Woods” was illustrated. Seamlessly marrying the stories of Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk, Little Red Riding Hood, and Rapunzel, this is a movie musical of mammoth proportions that invites you to revel in your imagination once more. Written long before “Wicked,” James Lapine brought this beautiful story to life on Broadway in 1987. Similarly, the work invites the watcher to peer behind the curtain to better understand the fairy tale by examining the motivation and true nature of each character. As if that wasn’t enough, this captivating film is set to the tune of a breathtaking score by Stephen Sondheim who is arguably the greatest living composer of our time. Vivid, haunting, and powerful, Meryl Streep enigmatically portrays the Witch who brings together the ensemble of characters in her quest to reverse a curse placed on her. While it may appear a superficial desire to be beautiful again, we learn that she’s actually afraid that her daughter Rapunzel (MacKenzie Mauzy) is ashamed of her appearance. This insecurity contrasts with the incredible love she feels as a mother struggling with her own humanity and loneliness, which is palpable in her performance of the piece “Stay With Me.” Streep explained her interest in the role stating in a press conference last month, “[…] this Witch is quite different. First of all, she transforms. Her whole reason for being is to reverse a curse that has been placed on her; she sets in motion all sorts of devices and causes a dramatic upheaval in everybody’s lives.” Emily Blunt, who plays the Baker’s Wife, explained: “My character has a desperate yearning for a child. Because of the curse placed on her family, she must venture into the woods to secure a list of items given to her and her husband by the Witch, so she becomes this tenacious and determined character who is willing to go to any lengths to get what she wants. Eventually we see her unraveling. She is an innately good person, but gets swept up by the woods and their potential.” James Corden, who plays her husband the Baker, has an amazing journey through the woods as well, with many twists and turns along the way that move the story along. Anna Kendrick, who you’ll recognize from “Pitch Perfect” and “Up in the Air,” is cast as Cinderella and shares that her attraction to this role stemmed from the difference in its archetypal portrayal of the fairy tale. “What is unique is that this ‘Cinderella’ story comes directly from the Grimm version, where the tree at the grave of her mother gifts her the dress and shoes that she wears to the festival, so in some ways she has access to a kind of magic when she really needs it.” Kendrick’s character also speaks to the theme of modern love and the unmistakably flawed nature of dating today, confronting the stereotypical desire for a ‘handsome, rich Prince Charming.’ “What happens after she marries the Prince is where it gets interesting,” says Kendrick. “Cinderella really starts to find her voice and rejects what she thought she wanted, which also means admitting she made a mistake. She’s not a blameless victim, though; she has to own the fact that she wanted something so badly without really thinking about what it was she really needed.” Now you might say, “Who doesn’t need Chris Pine?!” His portrayal of Prince Charming, complete with a campy performance of the piece “Agony” with his brother (played by Billy Magnussen) is nothing short of hilarious. Pine’s delivery and overconfident acting seems textbook David Hasselhoff, and in this case it worked. A character you’ll find familiar, Prince Charming is the boy who has it all, yet lacks true character and dignity. Pine said: “The Prince is one of those characters we all think we know, but in truth we don’t really know that much about. One of my favorite lines in the script is when Cinderella tells him that he needs to step up to the plate and be a good king and his response is, ‘I was raised to be charming — not sincere,’ which basically sums up who he is.” This film is an epic retelling of classic stories you’ll immediately fall in love with. With life lessons ranging from infidelity, family, dreams of grandeur, and more, it’s an instant classic. As producer Marc Platt states: “Inside the story there is a tremendous metaphor about life and loss, parents and children, and whether we repeat the sins of our fathers or choose another path. That metaphor is very relatable and relevant to everyone, young and old. When you take all those elements and dress them up in the telling of fairy tales with music and comedy, you get a wonderful, satisfying cinematic experience.” Treat yourself to this incredible story this holiday season, and remember: “Be careful what you wish for.” 

“This Witch is quite different. First of all, she transforms. Her whole reason for being is to reverse a curse that has been placed on her; she sets in motion all sorts of devices and causes a dramatic upheaval in everybody’s lives.” Photo: Disney

4 2 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

MERYL STREEP in “INTO THE WOODS” O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 4 3

For info. on placing a Marketplace ad > c 303-477-4000 or @ advertising@outfrontonline.com [ AccountIng ]

[ counselIng ]

[ InsurAnce ]

Solving Your Small Business Challenges

Thomas Ramey Watson, Ph.D., Psychotherapist

We don’t judge. We insure.

Author of Baltho, The Dog Who Owned a Man: the popular memoir of his dog and counseling.

Specializing in accounting, payroll and tax solutions designed to satisfy small business needs Most accountants work with numbers.

We work with people.

Coaching/Counseling— Individual, Couples, Group Starting groups & taking new clients.

303.987.1700 phone • 303.987.1829 fax • https://www.swickco.com/

WE ARE FARMERS 303-427-0355 DEBBIE BRUNDAGE

Your Local Agent 7390 LOWELL BLVD, WESTMINSTER, CO 80030 DBRUNDAGE@FARMERSAGENT.COM

A AAron Counseling | 720-506-4880 thomasrameywatson.com Central Denver location [ legAl ]

[ chIroprActIc ]

BUSINESS LAW & CONTRACTS LEGAL LIFE PLANNING Wills Trusts Estate Planning Probate Elder Law Byron@BKH-Law.com p 303.501.1812 | www.BKH-Law.com 3900 E. Mexico Ave., Ste. 300 Denver, CO 80210

[[ legAl LEGAL ]

[[ InsurAnce INSURANCE ]]

A Wellness-Oriented Lifestyle Can Assist You in Reaching Your

STOP

Norm Belson Agency

Optimum Health

Chiropractic Massage Therapy Functional Rehabilitation Pain Management

303-777-4690 x101

Collection Calls Garnishments Wage Assignments

AUTO • HOME • LIFE • COMMERCIAL

“We are a debt relief agency. We help people file for bankruptcy relief under the bankruptcy code.”

Package Discounts Available 400 S. Colo. Blvd. #220 Denver, CO 80246

Active Release Technique® Certified

nbelson@farmersagent.com

TRAVIS ALAN OCHS Bankruptcy Attorney

Dr. Jason Markijohn, DC

Flat fee for most cases

Cherry Creek Spine & Sport Clinic 400 S. Colorado Blvd. Ste 300, Glendale 303-759-5575 | CherryCreekSpine.com

303-830-1300

D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4

Free consultation

OutfROntOnlinE.COM

ESTATE PLANNING & WILLS Felony & Misdemeanors DUI & Drug Charges Domestic Violence

PREVENTATIVE CARE STATE-OF-THE-ART CROWNS & FILLINGS SMILE RECONSTRUCTION TOOTH WHITENING

5280 Magazine Top Dentist 2011, 2012, 2013 & 2014

FAMILY LAW Pre-Marital Agreements Dissolution of Marriage Adoptions • Custody

CRIMINAL LAW

General & Aesthetic Dentistry

Dr. Terry Brewick, D.D.S.

303-331-1700 BlochChapleau.com

PERSONAL INJURY

PROUDLY SERVING OUR COMMUNITY FOR OVER 30 YEARS

700 E. 9TH AVE. (AT WASHINGTON ST.), SUITE 102 DENVER, CO 80203 ∙ 303-832-7789 GOVPARKDENTAL.COM

Call today to speak to an attorney

Auto Accidents • Ski & Snowboard Slips & Falls • Dog Bites Medical Malpractice

[ dentIst ]

[ chIroprActIc ]

[ legAl ]

• Criminal Defense • Estate Planning • Real Estate

Over 10 years of experience

Small Firm Attention, Big Firm Results Serving the LGBT Community for Over 25 Years

1725 Gaylord Street • Denver, CO 80206

[ mAssAge ]

MASSAGE FOR THE MATURE MALE Stress relief, Full Body, Therapeutic. $50 per hour. South Denver. Near Porter Hospital Brad, 303-915-4941

[ MASSAGE [ mAssAge ] ]

[ mAtchmAKer ]

Certified & State Licensed

HAVE YOU FOUND THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS?

Enjoy the unique artistry of Celtic Touch

[ web desIgn ]

[ sKIncAre ]

for first time clients! call for details

• Pure relaxation • Peace of mind BASIL CARPENTER, CMT 303-885-6382

FIND A CZECH PARTNER info@MostBeautifulPeopleDenver.com 720-235-0770

gay-man-introductions.com [ reAl estAte ]

[ mAssAge ]

FROM ENTRY TO LUXURY AN EXPERT REALTOR FINDING INNOVATIVE SOLUTIONS WITH KNOWLEDGE, SKILL, TRUST & RESPECT

RICH PLASMEIER 303-931-4155 REALRICH6@AOL.COM A 5280 MAGAZINE FIVE STAR REALTOR

MASSAGE ]] [[ mAssAge

RENTAL ] ] [[rentAls

INDIVIDUALIZED MASSAGE Michael Conti, BSPsy, LMT

CHEESMAN PARK TERRACE 1402 RACE STREET 1 bedroom units from $750, Dishwasher,

An integrative approach to wellness $65/hour $80/90 minutes 13th and Marion 303-832-1499 [[ mAssAge MASSAGE ]]

KRAIGER www.kraigerworks.com

Full Body Therapeutic Massage with Strong & Sensitive Touch $45 per session 7 days a week 10am - 8pm

303-477-9511 MC & Visa Accepted $

5 OFF

for new clients

303-668-5014 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• PARK GROVE 1280 LAFAYETTE STREET Large 1 bedroom units, $850-$975 Large 2 bedroom units, $1,000-$1,400 Balconies, dishwashers, parking garage, indoor pool, sauna, exercise room, and views! 303-830-1344 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• CHEESMAN PARK 1360 WILLIAMS STREET 1 bedroom units from $775 to $850. 303-830-1344 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• WASHINGTON PARK 960 S. LOGAN STREET 1 bedroom units from $750-$800 2 bedroom units from $825 720-205-0990 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• WASHINGTON PARK 10 S. PENNSYLVANIA ST. 1 bedroom units from $750 to $800. 720-205-0990 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• GOVERNOR’S PARK 899 WASHINGTON ST. 1 bedroom units from $775-$800/mo. Fireplaces, rooftop deck, dishwashers, fabulous remodel! 303-668-5014

As a small business, Out Front understands the need to keep costs low and visibility high. And for less than $1 a day, we have the solution for you. The goal is simple: keep impressions high and the cost low! Out Front has 70,000 monthly readers with an average $100,000 household income. 83% of them say they make purchasing decisions based on who markets directly to them through our magazine.

SMALL BUSINESS PACKAGE MARKETPLACE AD in each issue 24 ads per year

WEB AD for one year front page visibility

(2” wide x 2.43” high)

(468 px wide x 60 px high)

ONE MILLION IMPRESSIONS

$250 PER MONTH • 12-MONTH AGREEMENT REQUIRED

Clean, Renovated and Friendly! Managed by Lloyd’s Apartments L.P. OutfROntOnlinE.COM

D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4

Denver Does Dames Topher La Fleur

hat’s a lady-boy to do? Strip-mall fashion and chain stores dominate the retail landscape. When you need a good frock for the rocking, look no further than these unconventional offerings. Lady or madame, diva or drag — these boutiques will keep your miles card warm all winter long.

A Line Boutique 5375 Landmark Place, #107, Greenwood Village Karmen Berentsen, owner and proprietor of A Line Boutique at the Landmark Shops, says expansion is imminent, and it’s easy to see why. A Line Boutique and their delightful offering of high-contemporary styles tops our list for a number of reasons. A Line maintains an in-house tailor, personal stylists, garment delivery to the home or office, a regular offering of trunk shows, and much, much more. Most importantly, A Line carries the sought-after lines found nowhere else in Denver: Sonia Rykiel, DanniJo, Helmut Lang, and Alexander Wang. Says Berentsen, “We attract women who want effortless shopping. Personally, I hate shopping. That’s why I opened this boutique.” A Line Boutique offers a global standard of excellence unrivaled in Denver. Stop by and see for yourself.

Bella A Boutique 14805 W. 64th Ave, Unit A, Arvada Remember that time you went to Forever 21? Oh, wait, you don’t. That’s because women like Susan and Caitlin at Bella A Boutique work day and night to brew up fresh offerings for consumers statewide. These ladies have it covered from fashion to philanthropy. Best of all, they bring hot Colorado brands to the table in an affordable, sensible way. Stylish, contemporary women will find themselves right at home in Bella A. Bright patterns, bold cuts, and handmade jewelry define Bella, but it’s the personal customer service that will keep you coming back for more. Forever 21? Nevermore. Forever Bella, and ever, and ever. Long live the queens.

K E E P YO U R S L E I G H

SPOTLESS

Full Service Wash starts at $8.99 BRING IN THIS AD TO RECEIVE 1 0 % O F F A N Y D E TA I L S E R V I C E 276 Broadway • 303-733-5349 4 6 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

Dinea Boutique & Design 2090 S. Grant St., Denver East meets West on the sales floor at Dinea Boutique. Rebecca Minkoff, Magaschoni, Maliparmi, and Beatrice fill the racks at Dinea. Edina Brkic, the owner, also does alterations, style consultations, personal shopping, and shopping by appointment only. Says Brkic, “Dress up or dress down. I want you to find something different and timeless.” Edina, originally a Croatian native, brings her chic European sensibilities to Denver in a straightforward and delightful way. Says Brkic, “The joy of owning a boutique is introducing the styles which can’t be found in Denver.” At Dine, expect one thing: fashion, fashion, fashion.

Rustic thread 3716 W. 32nd Avenue, Denver California style meets the mountain air at Rustic Thread. An industry veteran, Sarah Markway opened Rustic Thread two years ago. Sick of traveling, she set up shop in the Highlands and has never looked back. She’ll bring you in with popular brands like RVCA, then seal the deal with offbeat labels like Honey Punch and Love Stitch. American-made denim, leather bomber jackets, and a refreshing bohemian atmosphere are some of the many charms Rustic Thread has to offer. Stop in and see for yourself.

Pink’s, Straight from lA 745 South University Boulevard, Denver You’re never too young (or too old) to enjoy a fashion safari. Roberta Lipshutz, proprietor of Pink’s From LA, keeps the store constantly stocked with fresh, on-trend gear with new merchandise arriving daily. “Our shoppers are 15 to 80; they come here because we can dress them for work, Vegas, or a wedding all in the same trip.” If you’re looking for runway looks without breaking your savings account, look no further than Pink’s. For the well-heeled shopper, Pink’s also offers Instagram sneak-peeks of new merchandise, private parties, personal shopping, and more.

Meraki Moon There are those of us who love to shop, and those of us who love to shop from home. The sole digital boutique (and occasional pop-up shop) on this list is brought to you by Sophia Lucas and her fiancé Colton Joseph. If you think that’s inspiring, it gets better, because Meraki is Greek for “the love you put into something” and trust — there’s plenty of love to go around. From handmade apparel to handmade scarves, every free spirit will find themselves in the “casual California” Meraki has to offer. Simultaneously rugged and urban, the Meraki shopper is a style leader, not a trend follower. Shop the entire collection online at ShopMerakiMoon.com.

Family Centered Medicine Denver’s Newest Doggie Daycare Denver Bark & Play is a safe, clean, healthy, and a fun daycare to bring your “Best Friends” while you are at work or on vacation. We will treat your pet as our FAMILY, and you will know they are getting the best care and having fun!

Serving the GLBT community for over 15 years Primary Healthcare

Peter Prutch, NP.C, PhD

HIV/AIDS Health care & prevention

2121 S Oneida St Ste 248 Denver CO 80224 • (303) 504-0600 familycenteredmedicine.com

3,000 sq. ft. indoor play area • 1,500 sq. ft. outdoor play space 24 spacious boarding kennels • Doggie Cams to watch your pet play

1277 Santa Fe Dr. Denver, CO 80204 (303) 446-2275 denverbarkandplay.com OutfROntOnlinE.COM

D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4

6 th A n n u a l R e d B a l l The 6th Annual Red Ball was held at the EXDO Event Center on November 30. Designers, make up artists, hair stylists, and models came together to help raise money for the Denver Colorado AIDS Project. In addition to the runway show, the evening featured a cocktail reception, fire dancers, aerial artists, and a silent auction. Funds raised at the Ball support services for people affected by HIV through prevention, care, and advocacy. For more information about DCAP, please visit their website at DenverCAP.org. • Photos by Charles Broshous

Cosmetics UNIVERSITY OF COLORADO

Get an Uplift - Not a Facelift • Non-invasive, natural, noticeable results without surgery

Got Muscle? 10 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE IN:

PERSONAL TRAINING WEIGHT MANAGEMENT NUTRITION

• No downtime so you don’t miss a minute of life • No sun restrictions — lets you enjoy your time outdoors

I CAN HELP YOU ACHIEVE THE BODY YOU WANT. CALL ME TODAY: (303) 881-5016

Call us today! 303-724-7770 or visit CUCosmetics.com “For full product and safety information, including possible mild side effects, see Ultherapy.com/IFU. Ultherapy is a registered trademark of Ulthera Inc.”

4 8 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

Greg Dyer, CPT The Birthday Suit Tailor www.BirthdaySuitTailor.com

Hear me out Chris Azzopardi iDinA MEnZEl, HOliDAY WiSHES Idina Menzel is the luckiest person to have ever been called Adele Dazeem. The awkwardness of having her name butchered by John Travolta during this year’s Oscars telecast gifted the Broadway icon with newfound clout, boosting her out of the gay niche and into mainstream notoriety. Now, Elsa the Snow Queen rides the snowy wave of her wintertime success and releases a Christmas album (because there’s nothing else you should be doing after your inner drag queen surfaces and all your repressed powers turn everything to ice). If you’re expecting some kind of Christmas version of “Let It Go” from the “Frozen” superstar, well, let it go. Holiday Wishes is focused on simple, classic Christmas nostalgia: for instance, “Do You Hear What I Hear?,” “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” and “Silent Night” (not exactly the silentest of nights as Menzel can’t help but belt). Producer Walter Afanasieff, who made magic with Mariah Carey in the early 90s, and also co-wrote “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” heads Menzel’s project, which includes a jazzy and not-quite-as-magical version of Carey’s staple (with Kenny G on sax). And because Idina knows you want her to sing something Disney, she doesn’t let you down. Her lovely rendition of “When You Wish Upon a Star” is designed as a big ol’ fashioned mega ballad that makes everything shine a little brighter. GRADE: BniCK JOnAS, niCK JOnAS It’s basically impossible to stay hydrated amid all the crotch-grabbing, butt-exposing sexiness Nick Jonas has so generously donated to the thirsty people of the world. Giving you yet another reason to suck down some H2O is the former

Jonas Brother’s self-titled solo album, the sonic component to the never-ending parade of partial nudity (but really, how many times do you think he cups his junk to reach falsetto?). Nick toys with his sexed-up image on “Teacher,” an R&B-tinged, love-gone-sour song where he sounds like he’s ready to get the ruler out and give you a nice spankin’. “Take it off for me,” he urges on the funky soul number “Take Over,” referring to your “disguise” (i.e. clothes). With “Numb,” he instigates a bump-and-grind; “Avalanche,” with Demi Lovato, shows he’s got soul — and not just vocally. There’s a beating heart beyond that flirty façade. Then it’s back to the bedroom for the Mike Posner-assisted slow jam “Closer.” “Open up and let me in,” he demands, making dreams come true. So yeah, if you think you’re getting Justin Timberlake vibes, you are. If you’re ashamed to get aural pleasure from a Jonas Brother, you shouldn’t be. Like his clothes, Nick’s shed the Disney act for this rite-ofpassage project, indicative of his journey into maturity, into desire, into a girl’s pants. The purity ring is off; he’s literally and figuratively more naked than ever before. Dig in. GRADE: B+ Also out: DAMiEn RiCE, MY fAVOuRitE fADED fAntASY Following an eight-year absence, Ireland’s Damien Rice returns with all new reasons for you to weep rivers of sadness. Maintaining the reflective folk style of his “O” debut and 2006’s “9,” the Irish troubadour’s trademark sound — and all the feels of heartbreak and wistfulness — reemerges on his third release, overseen by producer Rick Rubin. In terms of cohesiveness, “Fantasy” is Rice’s best. But, particularly with “I Don’t Want to Change You” and “Trusty and True,” the album’s greatest triumph is its emotional payoff. Grab a pillow and let it out. 

MOST PLAYED 25 SONGS OF 2014 … as calculated by Music Choice. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.

Chris Brown “loyal” iggy Azalea “fancy” Pharrell “Happy” nicki Minaj “Anaconda” Beyonce “Drunk in love” John legend “All of Me” Ariana Grande “Problem” Katy Perry “Dark Horse” Magic “Rude” Disclosure “latch” Jason Derulo “talk Dirty” taylor Swift “Shake it Off” nico and Vinz “Am i Wrong”

14. One Republic “Counting Stars” 15. florida Georgia line “this is How We Roll” 16. Jessie J “Bang Bang” 17. K Camp “Cut Her Off” 18. Enrique “Bailando” 19. Becky G “Shower” 20. Sam Smith “Stay With Me” 21. Demi lovato “neon lights” 22. Rixton “Me and My Broken Heart” 23. Ed Sheeran “Sing” 24. luke Bryan “Play it Again” 25. Pitbull/Kesha “timber” OutfROntOnlinE.COM

D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4

BAR TAB

THE HOTTEST DENVER NIGHTLIFE

AQUA LOUN GE

DE N VER E AG LE

1417 Krameria, Denver (720) 287-0584 ofcnow.co/aqua

1475 36 th St., Denver (303) 291-0250 theeaglebar.com

BAR KE R LOUNG E

E L POT R ERO

475 Santa Fe, Denver (303) 778-0545 facebook.com/BarkerLounge

4501 E. Virginia Ave., Denver (303) 388-8889 facebook.com/elpotreroclub

BAR R ICU DA'S

HA MB URGE R M A RY ’S

1076 Ogden St., Denver (303) 860-8353 barricudasdenver.com

700 E. 17 th Ave., Denver (303) 832-1333 hamburgermarys.com/denver

BL ACK CROW N

MANIC MONDAYS Happy Hour from open to close. Karaoke @ 9pm with Allison

BLUSH & B LU 1526 E. Colfax Ave., Denver (303) 484-8548 blushblubar.com

BOYZTOWN 117 Broadway, Denver (303) 722-7373 boyztowndenver.com HAPPY HOUR Mon–Thu: 3–8:30pm & Fri–Sun: noon–8:30pm. $2.50 wells, domestic bottles & drafts. Check boyztowndenver.com for the latest drink specials! Denver's hottest male revue Six nights a week — Never a cover! Tuesday–Sunday, 10pm–1:45am. 21+.

BROADWAYS 1027 Broadway, Denver (303) 623-0700 facebook.com/broadways.denver

CHA R LI E 'S ® 900 E. Colfax Ave., Denver (303) 839-8890 charliesdenver.com DAILY SPECIALS Open – close: $3 domestic mini-pitchers (32-oz.). 11am – 7pm: $3 wells, $3 domestics, and $4 u-calls. 8 – 10pm: $5 PB&J daily drink & shot special Thursdays 2-4-1 drinks from 7pm – close FRIDAYS $3 Absolut from 9pm – close

4958 E. Colfax Ave., Denver (303) 320-9337 facebook.com/randrdenver

TRACKS 3500 Walnut St., Denver (303) 863-7326 tracksdenver.com

SUPERSTAR THURSDAYS 18 + dance party Cover: 18–20 $10, 21+ $5 after 10pm

A BL

ELEVATED SATURDAYS 2-for-1 drinks between 9–10pm No cover before 10pm

COLFAX AVE.

B ROA DWAYS

W RA N GL E R 17TH AVE. HA M B U RG E R MARYS X BA R

11TH AVE. V I N YL

6TH AVE.

CO M POU N D B OYZ TOWN

BA R R I CU DA’S

L I ’ L D EV I LS ALAMEDA AVE.

COLORADO BLVD.

BA RKE R LOU N GE

COLFAX AVE. AQUA LOU N G E

R &R

OGDEN ST.

8TH AVE.

ARKANSAS AVE.

5 0 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

AV E

CHAR LI E ’S B LUS H & B LU

1ST AVE.

For uPdates & interactive map, VISIT OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

scan or visit bit.ly/ OutFrontBarTab for interactive map

ELM ST.

C RAV E

ST .M

O AH AP

CLARKSON ST.

629 E. Colfax Ave., Denver (303) 832-2687 xbardenver.com

T. TS

WASHINGTON ST.

X BA R

D ENVER BA R M A P

KRAMERIA ST.

16 T

PA R

T RAC KS

COLORADO BLVD.

L A N N I E ’S

UNDERGROUND PUB

1700 Logan St., Denver (303) 837-1075 denverwrangler.com

. VD BL EAGL E

. ST

DRAG NATION LAST FRIDAYS The nation’s best drag show with the hottest celebrity drag queens!

WRA N GL E R

BABES AROUND DENVER FIRST FRIDAYS The largest monthly women’s party in the US! Doors open at 6pm. 21+

110 N. Nevada Ave., Colorado Springs (719) 578-7771 undergroundbars.com

N TO

BROADWAY

145 Broadway, Denver (303) 722-7977 compounddenver.com

R & R DE NV E R

CO MPOUND BASI X

105 Central Plaza, Pueblo (719) 543-2683 ofcnow.co/cove

VD BL

1891 14 th St #110, Denver (303) 586-4199 cravedenver.com

PI RAT ES COV E

CRAV E

255 South Broadway, Denver (303) 733-1156 lildevilslounge.com

3430 N. Academy Blvd., Colo. Springs (719) 570-1429 clubqonline.com

LIL’ DEV ILS

CLUB Q

16th St. Mall @ Arapahoe (303) 293-0075 lannies.com

SANTA FE DR. KALAMATH ST.

BRONCOS SUNDAY FOOTBALL Free drink of your choice with every Broncos touchdown! $1 Bud & Bud Light Drafts, $2 Bud & Bud Light Mini Pitchers, $10 Bud & Bud Light Buckets. $2 Bacardi Boots. Prizes every quarter.

LANNIE’S CLOCKTOWER CA BA R E T

YORK ST.

SUNDAYs Svedka and well liquor bust from 4 – 8pm. Drag Divas: show starts at 9pm, featuring $5 big pitchers

WEDNESDAYS: DOLLS WITH BALLS BINGO Hosted by Alexandra Winters & Harley Quinn. Free! Starts at 9pm.

BROADWAY

Saturdays $3 Svedka (all flavors) from 9pm – close

TUESDAYS: OUTRAGEOUS DRAG BINGO Hosted by Sasha Andrews & Jackie Summers. Balls drop at 9pm. Free to play!

DOWNING ST.

1446 S. Broadway, Denver (720) 353-4701 blackcrownlounge.com

ALAMEDA AVE.

. EL P OT R ERO

B L AC K C ROW N

BOYZTOWN Boyztown was the place to be on November 29 for those interested in enjoying a few cocktails and a little eye candy. Denver’s hottest male revue kept things heated up for those looking for a little entertainment on a Saturday night. Shows run Tuesday through Sunday from 10pm until 1:45am. Photos by Charles Broshous See more photos at outfrontonline.com

The Scoop on Snoring Sawing logs is only sexy if you’re a lumberjack. Kelsey Lindsey

he first time sleeping over at a potential significant other’s place is nerve wracking in a number of ways. Should I bring a toothbrush? How do I brush my teeth without a toothbrush? What if I’m allergic to their dog/ fish/sheets/roommates? What if they snore? (The last question is of special value to me, clearly.) I like to peg myself as a pretty low-key gal, but when it comes to my sleep, I’m a princess. My nightstand tells it all: stress-reducing lavender lotion, silk eye mask, and most importantly, earplugs. Like a child separated from their favorite teddy bear, if I don’t have my earplugs and there is the slightest amount of noise in the bedroom, I’ll fret all night (and consequently be the biggest grump the next day). So what to do if my partner next to me produces sounds that rival a jackhammer, so loud that even my trusty earplugs can’t cancel them out? As the relationship grows, I can move to the couch or suggest some of the cures below. Until then, I will — in the most passive-aggressive move of the year — point to this article. Just take note sweetie: It’s not you that I curse while lying awake at 3am; it’s the unearthly growls that somehow come from your congested sinus.

Below are some fixes that may help reduce snoring: First, let’s look at your position. Lying on your back can facilitate snoring, so try to stay on your side while sleeping. Some experts suggest using a body pillow and taping a tennis ball to the back of your pajamas (!) to prevent from rolling over in the night. Now, the pre-bedtime habits. Experts say that drinking alcohol four to five hours before bedtime and a lack of sleep can make the muscles in the back of your throat floppier, which causes snoring. If snoring starts in your nose and not within the soft palate, try to open your nasal passages with a hot shower before bed, and perhaps a saltwater rinse while showering. Nasal strips may be able to help as well. While I joked about allergens in the bedroom earlier, they’re actually a cause of snoring for some people. Consider replacing your pillows and dusting up a bit in the bedroom to reduce allergic reactions that can lead to snoring. As always, consult your doctor if you find the snoring to be persistent or troubling to your bed partner. He or she will determine whether you should further consult with a sleep specialist or require a sleep test for sleep apnea. 

O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 5 1

A N i g h t at t h e C o m p o u n d The Kelly DeHerrera Benefit Show was held at the Compound on November 29. The show, hosted by the House of DeHerrera, featured a night of talent, dancing, entertainment, and giving. The event was a benefit to help Kelly attend the Ultimate Queen Competition in 2015. Additional performers included Anna Rexik, Vivian LeCher, Angie Chanel, Venari Luvenis, Elizabeth Waters, and Vivian Carmichael. The Compound holds a Beer Bust every Saturday and Sunday from 6 to 10 pm. Photos by Charles Broshous See more photos at outfrontonline.com

D e e p I n s i d e H o l ly w o o d Romeo San Vicente SNL’s Kate McKinnon is coming to a theater near you Her Ellen DeGeneres impersonation is the best and we can’t re-watch “Dyke & Fats” enough times. We were wondering when the Kate McKinnon bullet train would leave the station and speed toward the big screen. It was inevitable after Saturday Night Live’s first lesbian cast member became our new favorite human being. So here come the movie roles. Big movies, too. First up is the heist comedy “Masterminds” with this cast: Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig, Owen Wilson, Zach Galifianakis, Ken Marino, and SNL’s latest breakout wild-woman Leslie Jones. Then comes “The Nest,” a house-party movie in which it appears that adult women will be replacing the genre’s misbehaving teenagers. It stars Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, John Leguizamo, Maya Rudolph, Heather Matarazzo, John Cena, James Brolin, and SNL’s Bobby Moynihan. From this we can learn that SNL keeps it in the family. And why shouldn’t they? Great ensembles, Kate McKinnon more McKinnon; we’re happy. Ellen Page: Real and Robo Since coming out, you could be forgiven for thinking Ellen Page was just hanging out, but we’ve got two new projects to look forward to from the “Inception” star. She’ll be lending her voice to the animated feature “Robodog,” 5 2 | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com

which is, naturally, about two dog friends, one real and one robotic (think mismatched buddy cops). It’ll also feature the voices of Ron Perlman, Steve Zahn, and Rainn Wilson. If you don’t have a child in your life who’ll care about the outcome of that one, Page is also attached to play John Belushi’s wife, Judith Jacklin, in the upcoming, untitled Belushi biopic. Emile Hirsch is attached as the late comic actor, with Miles Teller (“Whiplash”) in talks to play Dan Aykroyd. Aykroyd is exec producing this and will follow his old friend’s rise to fame in the ’70s, up to his untimely death at 33 from a drug overdose. And we’re still waiting for “Freeheld,” the true story in which Page stars as the partner of a terminally ill detective (Julianne Moore) whose spousal benefits are being denied the couple. Post-production delays are a drag. “Trainwreck:” How much Ezra Miller will we get? We like Ezra Miller. (We like him a lot!) He’s talented. He’s queer. He’s going to be The Flash in “The Flash” (the movie, not the goofy TV show). And we hear he’s going to be in next summer’s new Judd Apatow film, “Trainwreck,” too, written by one of our other favorites, comic Amy Schumer. First we applauded this as another opportunity to see the young actor shine like he did in “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.” And then we saw the rest of the cast list. Deep breath: Amy Schumer, Tilda Swinton, Bill Hader, Brie Larson, Colin Quinn, Barkhad Abdi, Mike Birbiglia, Vanessa Bayer, John Cena, LeBron James, Method Man, Daniel Radcliffe, and Marisa Tomei. And that’s not even the whole list. Maybe this is going to be another epic-length Apatow comedy that stretches toward the 150-minute mark. Or maybe everyone has a cameo. All we really know is that it’s somewhat based on Schumer’s own life and, well, we’ll take what we can get. Besides, Miller aside, any film with LeBron and Swinton together is already a curiosity-stoking must-see. Next July, y’all. 

ASK THE SEXPERT:

tell me how you define it/what it means to you?” lets people know you’re interested in learning about their identity and are willing to expand your current knowledge. Of course, you have to be ok with them declining to talk about it. Dear Shanna, Regarding partners — sexual, relationship, and Sometimes I get really stuck with the termi- otherwise — labels can be complicated enough nology used by folks in the community. I know for even straight folks. While most people inherlesbians who use the term “wife” even though ently know what husband and wife may mean, they aren’t married, and lots terms like boyfriend and girlfriend of married people prefer the seems reductionary to call someone you’ve been dating for years (espeterm “partner.” Some people use boyfriend or girlfriend to cially when you’re no longer in your refer to someone casual, while teens and 20s), regardless of whether others mean their lifelong lover. you ever plan to marry. Add in the What gives? LGBTQIAA factor, where some people Needing a Dictionary, Erie. don’t have access to certain types of partnership like marriage and the Dear Needing a Dictionary, corresponding language (“This is Language is tough, period. Even my civilized union buddy so-and-so” if you think about the queer comjust doesn’t roll off the tongue, for munity, or LGBTQIAA, or alphabet example), and it just goes crazy. Ditto soup of identities, everyone has for those who are in a relationship their own set of labels and lanwith more than one person. What SHANNA KATZ guage that fits them … and that’s happens here? People develop their exactly how it should be. Even when someone uses own language, or at the very least, their own definia “traditional” label like bisexual, it might mean tions to try and explain the relationship between different things to different people. More recently, them and others. we’ve seen an uptick in the diversity of labels people There is also the issue of social convention. are using to refer to their sexual orientation and While you and someone else might be just fine gender identities, including pansexual, omnisexual, using the term f*ck buddy or “friends with genderqueer, genderf*cker, gender non-conforming, benefits,” that might not be the way you want to demi-girl, homoflexible, the list goes on. In these introduce them to your boss or your great uncle cases, if you don’t know what someone means, the Steve. Instead, the ambiguous “partner” can be a best thing you can do is (politely) ask. Saying “Oh, great fit. However, for couples that appear straight cool, I’ve never heard that term before — can you (like bisexual folks, queer folks, and/or trans* folks

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

in straight-appearing relationships), using the term partner might get read as business partner (it’s happened to me more than once), so while partner is certainly the most adjustable term, it does have its problems. Using wife (or husband) without being married is some peoples’ response to not having the ability to legally get married while for other people, it just emphasizes the seriousness of the relationship. Still for others, it’s just a fun way to refer to someone they care about. As with identities, the best things you can do are: a) honor the language that people use. If someone says “This is my partner,” don’t introduce them later as José and his husband. b) hold space for conversations about relationships. If a friend introduces someone as their life partner/love bug/sugar muffin/sex puppy, ask them to tell you about their relationship, how they met, how long they’ve been together, what things they like to do together, and so on. That’s what you’re really wanting to know when you hear a label, so rather than trying to box someone in, having a conversation about their experiences will likely get you the information (and connection!) you want. Best of luck!

Shanna.

Have a question you’d like to ask Shanna (anonymously)? Email shannakatz@gmail.com.

Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a board-certified sexologist, sexuality educator, and author who believes in open source, accessible sexuality education. See more columns at outfrontonline. com or for more info on teaching adults to optimize their sex lives visit ShannaKatz.com.

MAKE A WISH FOR YOUR DENVER SWIM CLUB CHIRSTMAS PRESENT 6923 E. COLFAX AVE. DENVER, CO. 303.322.4023

BOYS LOCKERS 18-25 $10 FOR 8 HRS

ANYTIME

$12 LOCKER SPECIAL 9AM-5PM $20 ROOMS $15 LOCKERS

denverswimclub.com

safe sex is all attitude O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 5 3

O U t BAC K C l Ass I F I e Ds Envisioned by Boberto

Need help?

If you believe you’re a victim of a sex or hate crime, contact the Colorado Anti-Violence Program at 303-852-5094

THAT AMAZING MOMENT WHEN

NSA turns into LTR

Try it for free

303-563-4828

More local numbers: 1-800-777-8000 Ahora en Español/18+ www.guyspyvoice.com

Advertise Here

text “Midtowne Denver” To 25827 for events & specials

303-477-4000

D E C E M B E R 1 7, 2 0 1 4

OutfROntOnlinE.COM

O u t f ro n t o n l i n e . com | D E C E M B E R 1 7 , 2 0 1 4 | 5 5

Give a worthy cause a helping hand. Get a great deal. Support a great cause. With every new Subaru purchased or leased, Subaru is donating $250 to a choice of charities that benefit the community. Now through January 2nd, 2015.

Get a new snow thrower. Courtesy delivery to your home or office, anywhere in Colorado.

2015 SUBARU FORESTER 2.5i $199/Month, $1400 Due

Lease a 2015 Subaru Forester 2.5i for 36 months at $199 per month, plus tax. $1400 due at signing plus tax, 10,000 miles per year with approved credit. No security deposit required. MSRP $23,045. MODEL CODE FFA. PACKAGE 01. STOCK #152256. OFFER UNTIL 12/31/14.

Love. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what makes a Subaru, a Subaru.

1080 MOTOR CITY DRIVE COLORADO SPRINGS

800-789-5583 BESTBUYSUBARU.COM

#1 Largest Subaru Dealer in America* Committed to the Community We Serve *BASED ON 2013 NATIONAL SUBARU DEALER RANKING