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Talk to your doctor about a treatment option for adults with HIV-1. Visit hivoption.com to learn more.

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SERVING THE LGBT COMMUNITY OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS SINCE 1976 3535 Walnut Street, Denver, Colorado 80205 Phone: 303-477-4000 • Fax: 303-325-2642 Web: OutFrontOnline.com Facebook: facebook.com/OutFrontColorado Twitter: @OutFrontCO • Instagram: /OutFrontColorado Out Front is published by Q Publishing, Ltd., a Colorado corporation and is a member of: Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and Denver Drama Critics Circle. FOUNDER PHIL PRICE, 1954-1993 ADMINISTRATION info@outfrontonline.com JERRY CUNNINGHAM, Publisher J.C. MCDONALD, Vice President LIS PORRECO, Operations Manager JEFF JACKSON SWAIM, Chief Strategist EDITORIAL editorial@outfrontonline.com BERLIN SYLVESTRE, Editor MIKE YOST, Senior Contributor ROB BARGER, Digital Content Manager BOBBY CREW, Editorial Intern CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Lauren Archuletta, Rex Fuller, Brent Heinze, Isa Jones, Noah L. Jordan, Shanna Katz, Gary M. Kramer, Kelsey Lindsey, Amanda Moutinho, Gregg Shapiro, Robyn Vie Carpenter-Brisco

ABOVE: VIVIAN LeCHER • PHOTO: JAY DIERS • STYLING: ROGER LeCHER Catch Vivian & the rest of the cast of Denver Divas every Sunday, 9pm at Charlie’s

CONTENTS

VOLUME 38 ISSUE 16 NOVEMBER 19, 2014

News

Local Ideas for your Wedding Registry

Heinze: Strengthening My Resolve

Vie Carpenter: Who Me? Yeah You!

Out Front & Center: Health Care

The Marriage Fight Club

Where There’s Your Will, There’s Your Way

10 10 12

It Really Is the Little Things Let Me Sign A Prenup Unique Ways to Propose

Honeymooner? I Hardly Know Her!

McGlothlen: Healing Horrible Depression

Daylight Savings Havoc

30 Black Friday Steals 32 The Mile High Man 34 Old Major 36 Madama Butterfly 37

Judith Light

22 Free Furry BFFs!

38 Marketplace

23 Legal: Changing Your Last Names

40 Travel: Madison, WI

24 Calendar 26 Shopping By The District

All Pain? No Gain.

The Truth About Juicing

42 Bar Tab

28 Personal Shoppers

43 Anything Goes

29 Shopping By Subscription

44 Sexpert: Come on!

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45 Same-Sex Russian Mail Order Brides?

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Out Front’s print publication is available semi-monthly, free of charge in Colorado, one copy per person. Additional copies of Out Front may be purchased for $3.95 each, payable in advance at Out Front offices located at 3535 Walnut Street, Denver CO, 80205. Out Front is delivered only to authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Out Front, take more than one copy of Out Front. Any person who takes more than one copy may be held liable for theft, including but not limited to civil damages and or criminal prosecution.

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N EWS Fact-checked, Web-approved The hottest Out Front stories this side of the LGBT news cycle.

2014 ELECTION RESULTS SENATE Cory Gardner: 48.5% Mark Udall: 46.01% GOVERNOR John Hickenlooper: 49.07% Bob Beauprez: 46.24% CO DISTRICT 1 Diana DeGette: 65.69% Martin Walsh: 29.15% CO DISTRICT 2 Jared Polis: 54.99% George Leing: 45.01% CO DISTRICT 3 Scott Tipton: 58.35% Abel Tapia: 35.44% CO DISTRICT 4 Ken Buck: 65.53% Vic Meyers: 28.54% CO DISTRICT 5 Doug Lamborn: 59.79% Irv Halter: 40.21% CO DISTRICT 6 Mike Coffman: 52.88% Andrew Romanoff: 42.26% CO DISTRICT 7 Ed Perlmutter: 54.43% Don Ytterberg: 45.57% (And no, the numbers don’t add up to 100 percent. What’s left represents a wide range of alternative candidates who got a nod from Colorado voters.)

BANISHED GAY BLOOD BAN The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services voted to end the 31 year old ban against gay men’s blood, effectively voicing their resolve to discontinue discriminatory medical practices. The FDA will review the opinion in December. e bit.ly/gaybloodban

6 TH CIRCUIT COURT UPHOLDS SAME-SEX MARRIAGE BAN In a surprise ruling, the 6th Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the same-sex marriage ban in four states: Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio, and Michigan. This makes it the first circuit court to rule against marriage equality, and almost guarantees the marriage equality argument to wend its way to the Supreme Court for deliberation. e bit.ly/6thban

SOUTH CAROLINA’S SAME-SEX MARRIAGE BAN RULED UNCONSTITUTIONAL South Carolina is the next car on the marriage equality train as U.S. District Judge Richard Gergel found the state’s same-sex marriage ban unconstitutional. e bit.ly/qatarlaws

SAME-SEX MARRIAGES BEGIN IN KANSAS A Kansan legal storm caused confusion as statewide ambivalence ramps up. At least four counties are now issuing same-sex marriage licenses. e bit.ly/kansasmarriage

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ONE COLORADO RELEASES TRANSPARENT Transparent is the first study in the country examining the health concerns of transgender people at the state level. One Colorado invested much time and effort into this groundbreaking piece of scientific literature, sure to affect health care across Colorado. e bit.ly/transparentCO

SOUTH CAROLINA’S SAMESEX MARRIAGE BAN RULED UNCONSTITUTIONAL South Carolina is the next car on the marriage equality train as U.S. District Judge Richard Gergel found the state’s same-sex marriage ban unconstitutional. e bit.ly/carolinaban

QATAR WORLD CUP ENCOUNTERS ISSUES WITH DISCRIMINATORY LAWS The World Cup is getting ready for Qatar in 2022, but discriminatory laws spell trouble for LGBT fans, and human rights are being compromised every way you look. e bit.ly/qatarlaws

FIRST TRANSWOMAN SUPERMODEL TAKES THE INTERNATIONAL STAGE Brazilian model Lea T is now the first transgender model to front an international cosmetics campaign. In January, the gorgeous and glam new icon becomes the face of Redken — more specifically for the hair-care juggernaut’s new line, “Chromatics.” e bit.ly/leatredken

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LO CA L S H O PS FOR A Wedding Registry Lauren Archuletta

lthough I am nowhere near having a ring on my finger, a girl can dream, right? While some engaged couples will go arm in arm to Bed, Bath & Beyond, laser scanner at the ready, I fantasize about registering for my big day at cool local shops in the Denver metro area. Artisan Center Denver • 2757 E. 3rd Ave., Denver There’s literally nothing better than handcrafted gifts, and since the majority of my friends can’t do a Pinterest project to save their lives, I’m glad stores like Artisan Center Denver exist. Located on E. 3rd Avenue, this boutique offers everything from painted wine glasses to decorative rugs and kitchen accessories. 5 Green Boxes • 1570 & 1596 S. Pearl St. The best thing about this store is quite possibly that there’s not just one of them. 5 Green Boxes offers a small store and a big store, both located on South Pearl Street. This is one place (well, technically two places) where you can register for things starting at just $5. The big store features its own design studio where all furniture is made using boiled wool fabrics. The owners claim to “take upholstery to another dimension” and to “think fabric wedding cakes.” Pandora on the Hill • 220 E. 13th Ave. If you had planned on buying me salt and pepper shakers for my wedding, at least purchase the skeleton ones from Pandora on the Hill. This Cap Hill staple offers tons of random, homemade items to decorate your home with.

Sure, a trash can from Target is a practical and affordable item to register for. Guess what else is: a Day of the Dead wedding couple that can sit on a mantle. Lulu’s Furniture • 2050 W. 30th Ave., Denver Stores like Lulu’s honestly make me wish I were getting married. Because let’s face it: What other times is it ever acceptable to request “bobo intriguing objects?” This mother-daughter-owned gallery is on West 30th Street and features vintage finds at affordable prices. Bobo intriguing objects, plexiglass art, and mugshot paintings. Yes, please. The Horseshoe Market • 4345 W. 46th Ave., Denver Granted, this is a seasonal vintage flea market. But the plus side is that hundreds of boutique companies (most of which are located in retail stores in Colorado) will line their trinkets up for the world to see. For those of you who do most of your wedding/major event shopping early and in bulk (like me), I recommend visiting the Market’s website (horseshoemarket.com) and seeing which shops will be at there. As I finish this list (and my bottle of wine), I want to congratulate everyone who will soon be making wedding registries of their own in the state of Colorado, hopefully with the help of this article. I fully expect invitations to flood my mailbox now so I can head over to the Horseshoe Market and get more ideas for fun shops to buy your gifts. Until then I’ll be watching romcoms alone in my apartment, desperately wishing I wasn’t allergic cats and drinking Dave Matthews Band wine. Call me, maybe? 

THE MARRIAGE FIGHT CLUB O’Brien Gunn Just because you get married to the love of your life doesn’t mean that you’ll never have the biggest argument of your life. The best time to prepare for a fight in your marriage is well before it happens. Think of this as marriage insurance: you know there’s a possibility of it happening, so you might as well start preparing to lessen the blow. In an Argument, There Is No Winner The very first thing you should realize about fighting in a marriage is that no one wins. No one. Even if you manage to prove your point, you never know whether or not your “victory” will fester and infect your relationship until you both want to have a knock- down, drag-out fight complete with ultra slow motion spinning back kicks and enough property damage to forfeit your security deposit. Even when one of you is clearly at fault, focus on a fair and effective solution and nothing else. “You’ve Gotta Cool It Now” When you’ve been with someone for a while, you can tell when they’re about to explode into a Hulk rage. Before this happens, it’s best that you both have a cooling off period so you can clear your heads and avoid speaking out of anger, which can leave scars that never heal no matter how much time passes. Use this cooling off period to examine the true cause of the argument rather than the emotions tangled up in the argument. Look at the

issue from the point of view of someone who has absolutely no investment in it. Decide Where and When to Discuss the Matter Before you and your spouse cool off, set up a time and a place to talk about the issue. While it’s said that you should never go to bed angry, you may need extra time to think things through, and that’s perfectly okay. Don’t think the argument is over and done without the both of you knowing beyond a shadow of doubt that the argument is done. No matter how much you’d rather not discuss the issue at hand, you’ve got to work through it — not around it. Waving the White Flag Not every battle has to be fought. If there’s an easier alternate route that takes you to the same destination, take it — even if you don’t care for the scenery … or the lack of quality snacks at the area gas stations. Some of the biggest problems

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between married and unmarried couples have to do with in-laws, money, and nitpicking. You have to remember that your in-laws are probably old enough not to give a high-flying frak about changing their ways, not even for their child’s spouse. The “money talk” is one that you and your wife or husband should have before you even entertain the idea of marriage. You can’t really be upset with your spouse who’s as good at balancing a checkbook as Stevie Wonder is at Japanese calligraphy, and that’s especially true when you’ve had an idea about their spending habits since the first dinner date. Whenever your spouse starts nitpicking, ask yourself if it would be easier, faster, and better for you to concede rather than start an argument. Find your Zen zone before you reach for your boxing gloves. Fighting is inevitable in any type of relationship. What matters most is that you learn and grow from those arguments. Not all scars are ugly, and not all arguments are a bad thing. 

W H E R E T H E R E ’ S Y O U R W I L L , T H E R E ’ S Y O U R W AY Berlin Sylvestre In exploring the different aspects of marriage, the “final part” is often overlooked. (I can barely bring myself to broach the topic out loud, but here goes nothing.) I wanted to rap about wills with a guy who knows a thing or two about Colorado law and will-making, so I got with Byron Hammond who, as it turns out, isn’t the macabre sort I made him out to be in my head. In fact, he’s actually quite cool. He took my questions and dropped some knowledge that doesn’t seem terrifying at all. Check it out: Are there any other issues in a will besides “who gets my property” and what’s the process like? Yes! Wills are the best method for legally communicating your wishes and intentions when you pass away, and everyone’s first goal is making sure the right people inherit their property … but wills allow you to do much more. They can get pretty specific. For example, wills allow you to designate who will be in charge of and receive your digital assets. This can include internet-related property, online accounts, digital files and photos, email accounts, domain names, social networking sites, etc. (Fun fact: If you own Bitcoins, there’s a unique procedure for transferring this alternate currency to another person.) Charitable gifting is also very popular in wills. People often want to include gifts to their favorite charities and causes. As far as the process, when you die, a personal representative (sometimes called an “executor”) will be in charge of administering your estate. Your will gives you — not the court — the opportunity to nominate a personal representative you trust.

What problems can arise when people draft their own wills as opposed to using an attorney? To be valid, every will must meet certain legal requirements and follow certain formalities. Colorado law allows you to write your own will, but it doesn’t relax the legal requirements for a doit-yourself will. Unfortunately, I’ve seen many do-it-yourself wills that weren’t drafted or signed correctly and, as a result, were not valid legal documents. If your will is not valid, the law will distribute your estate as though you died without one. Many online and form services use a “one size fits all” Do same-sex couples need a approach. The problem is that will to protect the kids? no two people are exactly alike. Absolutely. Most people don’t Every client is unique, and that realize that a will allows you means certain provisions of the to state your intent about who will have to be customized and should be your child’s guardian tailored specifically to that client’s situation. if the other parent is unable to take care of him/her/them. Drafting a will is only part of You can also establish a trust the estate-planning picture. The for your child(ren) to ensure do-it-yourself approach often that your estate will continue overlooks other important BYRON K. HAMMOND to benefit them into adulthood. issues such as the best way title Without such a trust, a court your house, placing beneficiary may direct your child’s inheritance be placed into designations on your bank accounts and IRAs to a supervised account which could have various help achieve your wishes, and making sure your restrictions and limitations. life insurance will help (and not hinder) your estate planning goals. What about our pets? Our pets are like our children. Unfortunately, Do marriage and will-making go hand in hand? the law only treats pets as personal property, so Marriage offers certain automatic protections to when you pass away, your pets have no more your surviving spouse, even if you don’t have a rights than a piece of furniture. In a will, you can will. Nevertheless, if you have enough assets, your choose the person or animal-rescue group who surviving spouse may only receive part of your will have custody of your pets or arrange for a estate, while the rest can pass to your parents, suitable adoption. You can also set up a monetary siblings, and other family members. A properlygift or a Pet Trust if you want to set aside a certain drafted will can prevent that. If you had a will before you got married, it’s amount of money to take care of your pet’s needs after you are gone. especially important to revise it to reflect your SPONSORED CONTENT

new marital status. If your previous will didn’t include your spouse, he or she may have to incur considerable legal fees to receive certain assets when you pass away. Yikes! So how often should someone update his/her will? Have it reviewed on a regular basis — especially if you’ve had a significant, life-changing event. Are there any state-specific legal issues that people new to Colorado might not realize or is it pretty standard stuff? In Colorado, we’re fortunate to have the Uniform Probate Code, which often makes things simpler and more standardized. If you have a valid will from your old state, it’s probably valid in Colorado. (Every state has its own laws governing wills and probate, so it’s always a good idea to have your will reviewed to make sure it’s still up to spec when Colorado law is applied.) What are some misconceptions about your line of work? Time is money in many law firms. The less time they spend on an estate plan, the more profit they make. I wanted a break from that approach, so I started a small, specialized firm where I only answer to me. Now I have the time to listen to my clients, learn what makes them tick, and avoid that one-size-fits-all approach to estate planning. Talking about death is difficult for almost everyone. It is not a discussion that should be rushed. The biggest misconception is that comprehensive estate planning is ridiculously expensive. The reality? It’s far more reasonable than you think, and can help you sleep at night knowing everything is in order. So it’s relatively affordable and you won’t roll over in your grave that your idiot brother got the dogs and the music studio? I’m in. Schedule an appointment with Byron by giving him a ring at (303) 501-1812 or by visiting BKH-Law.com.

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It Really Is the Little Things O’Brien Gunn

MARRIAGE EQUALITY IS SWEEPING AMERICA by nuptial storm, so you may find yourself looking at your partner in a new light. But before you go to Jared, consider the little things for a moment; these are deets about your relationshipcompatibility that go through a mutant growth spurt the very moment you say “I do.”

fire? Ask if you can honestly see yourself sharing finances with this person or if you’ll need separate checking accounts and credit cards as soon as the honeymoon is over.

Family Even if you get along with your partner’s family, you have to remember that you’ll be marrying them too. Marriage changes several relationships, not just the relationship you have with your partner. Will your extroverted and touchy/feely in-laws adjust to your introverted and hands-off approach? Are you willing to hide or alter parts of your personality or your opinions in order to keep the peace with your new family? This doesn’t have to be a deal breaker when it comes to marriage, but it should be something you discuss at length with your partner before you do the Cupid Shuffle down the aisle.

Religion Are you willing to marry someone who doesn’t share the same religious views as you? How about someone who’s an atheist or agnostic? Before having a serious relationship with another person, many people first have a relationship with a higher power or cultivate spiritual views that align with their lifestyle and their perceptions. You may be asked to convert to a specific religion or attend religious services, even if it’s only a few times a year. Be completely open and honest with yourself and your partner about religion/spirituality and what it means to you.

Spending Habits Money is one of the biggest little issues when it comes to a relationship and marriage. The spending-habit seed is planted when you first start dating and see how often they’re willing to pay for the both of you or if they ask to split the check. Not only should you pay attention to your significant other’s spending habits when they’re stretching a dollar like they’re doing financial yoga, you’ll also want to take note of how they spend when the dividends are flowing like a slam poem. Are each of your individual money habits compatible, or do they come together like gas and

Kids Having kids and wanting kids is something else that absolutely has to be discussed before marriage, no matter how gay or straight that marriage might be. Not only should you talk about whether or not you see yourself having kids, but when you see yourself having kids. Do you want to wait until you’re both settled in your careers? If so, how long do you realistically think it will take for your careers to take off? If you plan on adopting, would you be willing to adopt a child of a different racial background than you? Do you

want boys or girls? How do you feel about special needs children or children who are older but still need a good home? While marriage is a beautiful thing, it’s an act that should be examined from every conceivable facet, no matter how small that facet might be. Upgrade your perception to HD before you go down on bended knee. 

LET’S GET MARRIED! BUT FIRST … LET ME SIGN A PRENUP people should realize that — including myself. Yes, I’m still in my early 20s and barhopping my s a 23-year-old avid Tinder-er, a prenuptial way through OkCupid dates, but I’m also working agreement is the farthest thing from my mind. toward furthering my leadership development Yes, it’s obviously because of my age and the fact in the workplace. Hell, one day it might even be that I’ve really only been in the career “game” possible that my paycheck will be more than my for a little over a year, but also because I haven’t future husband’s, because, you know, girls rule. always agreed with it. On the It’s probably important to at one hand, I’m obviously not a least learn from other peoples’ celebrity raking in the dough (especially women’s) mistakes and feel no need to protect on the matter. The fact of the matter is, myself. On the other hand, I’d One of the best examples is like to believe that when I say, Karen McCullah. Most people divorce happens, as much “I do,” there will be no need to probably wouldn’t recognize as I hate (and always have think down the line about what her by name or face, but hated) to admit it. to split down the middle with she’s known for some pretty my former loved one. However, spectacular and memorable movies; as a screenwriter, after doing some research for this article, I’m beginning to Karen’s films include “Legally Blonde,” “10 Things I Hate About You,” and “The understand the importance of it. When someone says “prenup,” we automati- House Bunny.” When she was first married at 24, cally think of the rich and the famous. This past she was a nobody writing screenplays in her spiral year Gabrielle Union, our favorite cheerleader notebooks. Flash forward 18 years when Karen is from the Clovers, told Arsenio Hall that she was a successful – yet divorced – screenwriter. Due to making her basketball fiancé Dwayne Wade sign a a lack of a prenup, Kelly’s husband was entitled prenup. Hats off to the woman! But prenups aren’t to not just half of her earnings, but also a monthly only for celebrities anymore, and perhaps more alimony check of $6,000. Hell. No. Lauren Archuletta

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In 2014, divorce is a subject of its own on the Huffington Post. The fact of the matter is, it happens, as much as I hate (and have always hated) to admit it. The best we can do is prepare for it, and get to know our partners in the meantime. Talking about finances and property with your partner isn’t impending doom. In fact, it might end up bringing the two of you closer together. If you’ve read this much of this article, bear with me for the legality of a prenuptial agreement in the state of Colorado. A Colorado prenup addresses: division of property and debt; rights and obligations under insurance policies, wills, employee benefit plans; and spousal alimony and maintenance. The requirements for a prenup in our Centennial State are as follows: the agreement must be written; no quid pro quo is required; each party must fully disclose all property and financial obligations; both parties must willingly enter the prenuptial agreement; and alimony must not be unconscionable at the time of agreement. So before you say those vows and take your wedding selfies, think it over and have the prenup discussion. Wouldn’t you rather be signing a mutual agreement now instead of a check for a couple grand later? We all know the answer. 

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THE WEDDING SHOWCASE FOR EVERY EXPRESSION OF LOVE.

We’ve hand-selected vendors to collaborate on stunning celebration themes for every season of the year. The highlight of this unique afternoon is a fashion show for every combination of bride and groom. Join us and choose your Season of Love.

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UNIQUE WAYS TO PROPOSE Lauren Archuletta AS A SINGLE WOMAN LIVING ALONE (with no cats, thank you very much), I am probably not the best person to write an article about unique ways to propose to your significant other. However, I am a girl and like many girls before me, I have imagined all of the wonderful ways in which someone could get down on one knee and ask for my hand in marriage. I also know how to trawl Buzzfeed for ideas while drinking a bottle of Ménage à Trois California Red Wine. For the sports fan ... because there’s nothing more romantic than proposing in a stadium full of drunk people, am I right? Wrong. All the wrong. Unless you’re actually a member of the sports team, game proposals are cliché and overdone. There’s always the possibility that your partner will be so busy looking down at their shirt to wipe the mustard from their Rockies dog that they completely miss the “Will you marry me?” screen you paid a couple hundred for. Don’t risk it. Love baseball? Try splitting one open. If you cut along the middle of the ball and then remove the spongy stuff on the inside, you can fit a box in there just right. My point? Think outside the box. Or literally, put the box anywhere more creative in a sports scenario.

AU T U M N A RT EXT RAVAGA N ZA The Alexander Foundation’s Autumn Art Extravaganza was held on Nov. 6 at Space Gallery. Festivities included appetizers and refreshments courtesy of some of Denver’s finest dining establishments, as well as signature cocktails from KJ Wood Distillers and Coyote Gold Margaritas. Guests also had the opportunity to participate in a silent auction featuring the artwork of some of Denver newest and most promising artists. The Alexander Foundation assists the LGBT community of Colorado by providing financial assistance for those seeking higher education, those in financial need due to temporary life challenges, and those who suffer from chronic or life-threatening illnesses.

See more photos at outfrontonline.com | Photos by Charles Broshous

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For the super techie Nothing says “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you” like a QR code. Assuming that your partner has a QR reader on their iPhone – and really, how else are you supposed to read the secret menu at Panera Bread – a cute little QR code speaks right to the heart. Your code will be a fun proposal and, quite literally, one of a kind. For the outdoorsy type We’re in Colorado, y’all! I have loads of friends who have hiked up to Table Top Mountain to pop the question, and another handful of friends that hold up a sign that reads “We’re Engaged” instead of “Mount Sherman, 14, 055 feet.” Personally, I’ve always been fascinated by the giant M that resides on top of Mount Zion at the Colorado School of Mines. There are a select few students and staff at the college responsible for changing the color of the bulbs in the huge letter. How hard would it be to add a few extra letters for just a night? These are just a few ideas inspired by Pinterest and an empty bottle of wine. But get creative! You only (hopefully) get to do this once! Don’t be a cliché. I want someone to take me to a Lucha libre match and somehow come into the circumstance of rap battling for my hand while using lyrics from the “Rocky Horror Picture Show.” But hey, that’s just me. 

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o c s i c n a r F San

AS LAS VEG

Honeymooner? I Hardly Know Her! “We ﬁnally tied the knot! Now what? Where can we go to get out all this excitement?” Noah L. Jordan

Provincetown, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Located at the very tip of Cape Cod, Provincetown is a charming resort town that’s allured gay travellers for years. Chock-full of quaint guesthouses and elegant restaurants, the little town also has access to the incredible beaches of the Cape Cod National Seashore. There are dozens of charming gay-friendly guesthouses and inns, but the Crowne Pointe Historic Inn & Spa and the Surfside Hotel & Suites offer exclusive romance and honeymoon packages. 14

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Napa and Sonoma, California

California is beautiful, but let’s face it: Napa and Sonoma are pristine. With miles of vineyards and the great food and wine that often come with, there’s something incredibly romantic about being in wine country. Together you can sip wine, explore quaint towns (like St. Helena and Yountville), stay at a charming bed and breakfast (like The Inn on First in downtown Napa Valley), take the wine train, or just relax between the sheets.

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Hawaii

For decades, Hawaii has been the quintessential honeymoon destination for just about everyone, and there are several reasons for that. Couples can spend a few days in Honolulu, take advantage of the active bars and restaurants there, then fly to a more secluded island (like Kauai or Maui) for that much-needed alone time. Aqua Hotels & Resorts is a gay-friendly, Hawaiibased boutique hotel chain with properties all over the state.

Maui

Napa Valley San Francisco, California

Naturally San Francisco falls on the list. It’s an iconic locale in the gay community, and many of us are innately drawn to celebrate within her city limits. Honeymooners will have plenty to entertain themselves between the world-class restaurants, hotels, shops, and rich history all around the city, but when in doubt: there’s always the Castro.

New York City, New York

While you might see a bustling city that can’t possibly be romantic, I see a city full of romance. It’s

NEW YORK

Provinceto

the hub of all things gay — fashion, food, Broadway. Maybe that’s stereotypical, but if you tell me you’ve never belted out a musical number in your car when you thought nobody was looking, I will immediately call bullshit. In the city that never sleeps, anything is possible. Stroll through Central Park or cross the Brooklyn Bridge with your honey. Feast on any and every style of cuisine imaginable and spend the rest of the night being serenaded by huge stars and an ensemble full of incredibly attractive chorus boys and girls. You can look but don’t touch. After all, it’s your honeymoon!

Las Vegas, Nevada

Ahhh. Good ol’ Vegas. Sin City makes for a great honeymoon getaway. There are plenty of amazing shows, exquisite restaurants, and lavish hotels. Oh, and gambling — lots of gambling. Honeymooners will never be bored. And since anything goes in Vegas, most major hotels and resorts are already friendly toward the LGBT community. Mandalay Bay is a great option if you want to stay close to the action, but if you’re still leery and want to be somewhere legitimately gay, book your stay at The Blue Moon, a gay-only resort. 

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

N OV E M B E R 19, 2 0 14

A N A LT E R N AT I V E A P P R O A C H T O H E A L I N G H O R R I B L E D E P R E S S I O N hears it and the brain receives the message. And since the conscious mind doesn’t hear it, the listener is unable to counteract the positive message. Brain Sync offered an array of mental health programs such as eliminating WHEN BATTLING CLINICAL DE- stress and relieving anxiety. Since they listed off all of the affirmations being PRESSION SEVERAL YEARS AGO, played, I was able to make an easy decision on what my brain needed most. I hoped that medications would have I opted for the program on positive thinking. For thirty minutes a day, the resolved the problem. However they user is supposed to sit down with some headphones and listen in a distraction didn’t. And the more they didn’t work, free environment (no multitasking allowed). the more the doctors added. With each At first I found this difficult. To try and sit without being utterly entertained new prescription, my mental health made my brain go race with busy thoughts. I would instantly get fidgety. seemed to get worse with a new on- Besides, finding thirty minutes to just sit proved quite problematic for me. “Isn’t that interesting?” My therapist said after I complained about this. slaught of bizarre side effects. One day I put my foot down and “You can’t even find thirty minutes a day to do something nice for yourself?” refused to take one single pill more. She made a good point. Perhaps this kind of thing was another reason Those supporting me in my struggle got I suffered from depression. So I became determined to not only make time terrified that things only make things for myself, but also focus on letting my mind quiet down. I would come worse. Luckily my therapist also had home from work and sit in the hammock while staring up into the trees. a vast knowledge of more unconven- The music often caused me to drift off. But the website mentioned that this PHOTO: CHRISTINA GRESSIANU tional methods for treatment. And kind of thing was fine. most intriguing of all, she suggested Within two weeks, I already started feeling like life wasn’t so atrociously the use of subliminal messaging programs by a company called Brain Sync. miserable anymore. Within four weeks, my negative thinking started to For those who aren’t familiar with subliminal messaging, it is a form of subside and I was becoming more grateful for my life again. By the recomdelivering information to the unconscious mind without the person knowing mended six week period, I felt like my old self again. My mood swings were it. In other words, hidden messages that we don’t realize are there and still gone and my random bouts of crying stopped. And dare I even say it, I had somehow influence our train of thought. actually become an optimist. Even during some tough As I had learned in therapy, thoughts and feelings transitions in the workplace, I remained hopeful. My are not the same thing. But they affect each other. What co-workers called me the most positive of anyone. I became determined we think leads to feelings and feelings influences the Not long after, my therapist saw that my need for to not only make time for things we think. Therefore excessive negative thinking help had been resolved. In our last session, she recomcan create quite the vicious cycle of emotions. Perhaps mended that I continue to use the Brain Sync program. myself, but also focus on my depression had resulted from a lifetime of being a letting my mind quiet down. Funny enough, I had already planned on it. I had spent so miserable pessimist. many years thinking that prescriptions were the ultimate This is one of the main reasons that many therapists answer. After working with subliminal messaging, my recommend daily affirmations. Yet these optimistic remind is open to all sorts of other ways to heal. While I am minders don’t work so great for everyone. We can easily refute the positive not anti-medication, I no longer feel the need to reach for a bottle of Xanax message the moment it comes out of our mouth. in times of stress. Instead I just plug in some headphones. This method may “The world is in perfect balance,” one affirmation said as I read it aloud. not work for everyone. But for me, it saved my life.  “No it’s not. The world is a fucking mess,” I immediately responded. Subliminal messaging uses affirmations a little differently. They are hidden Scott McGlothlen is a cultural columnist on life as a HIV-positive gay man. amongst some soothing music just below a person’s conscious hearing level See more of Scott’s columns online at outfrontonline.com or contact him (according to the Brain Sync website). Apparently the unconscious mind still at scott@outfrontonline.com. Scott McGlothlen Bleed Like Me

DAYLI GHT SAVINGS TIME SLEEP HAVOC? (There’s an app for that.) O’Brien Gunn SOME PEOPLE TREAT SLEEPING LIKE A COMPETITIVE OLYMPIC SPORT while others can’t remember the last time they had a full night’s rest. Add to that the weirdness of changing our natural circadian rhythms by an hour (oh, hello 6pm darkness!) and honey, we’re all types of messed up. What’s worse is disaster and danger can result from not getting enough sleep, from motor vehicle crashes and industrial disasters, to medical errors. Not only that, but the CDC reports that individuals who don’t spend enough time in SlumberLand are more likely to suffer from depression, diabetes, increased mortality, hypertension, and an overall reduced quality of life. How much sleep you actually need varies from person to person, and it depends a lot on age. According to the National Institutes of Health, school-age children should get at least 10 solid hours of sleep a day, teens need anywhere from nine to 10 hours, and adults should get seven to eight hours.

So how do you fare in the Department Zzz? Monitor your patterns with an app. Sleep apps not only track your sleep, they’ll let you know if you’re sleeping as good as you think you are, and offer tips for improving your sleep if you’re not doing so well. Sleep as Android Available only for Android, this app creates graphs of your sleep habits and will warn you if you’re not getting enough. What’s more, it can monitor sounds in your bedroom, record you talking in your sleep, and inform you of potential sleep illnesses. You can also program Sleep the app to gently wake you at the best time in the morning according to your sleep patterns and how deeply you go under. The first two weeks of use are free, but after that it’s three bucks for an unlock code.

and when you wake up in the middle of the night and have the information graphed.

Sleep Cycle Exclusive for the iPhone, Sleep Cycle monitors your sleeping habits and can also wake you at the best time. It’s recommended that you place your phone next to your pillow so you can get the most use out of the accelerometer. For a dollar, you’ll be able to find out how much you toss and turn

In addition to these apps, try going to sleep and waking at the same time (as much as possible), increasing your light exposure throughout the day, and relaxing before bedtime. By improving your sleeping habits, you can wake the next morning feeling ready to take over the waking world. Or I-25N. 

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STRENGTHENING MY RESOLVE Brent Heinze | HeinzeSight

here are times in our lives where it would be nice to have a toolbox full of strong qualities that could be whipped out when we need protection from life’s challenges. We’d be able to select from a variety of personal strengths that could better equip us to deal with the unexpected or unfortunate nature of our lives. Some of us have a good amount of these at our disposal, while others often struggle to get through when life sucks. Developing tools is not only possible, but most times the process of gaining them helps us adapt better to situations in the future and increase our confidence overall. This process may be extremely challenging for those who don’t have experience or success in feeling powerful in their own lives, but things can get better. Here are a few ways to improve on increasing your strength: Surround yourself with fantastic people. It doesn’t matter if that means joining a social group, charitable organization, or hanging out in places where you can make new friends. Working with other people that foster a sense of collaboration, teamwork, friendship, and bonding can reinforce the importance of connection to other people while giving us opportunities to work on communication skills, face our awkwardness, and a reinforce our commitment to working towards enjoying our lives. Through these interactions, we have the opportunity to increase problem-solving skills and gain confidence that we are capable of changing our own lives. Develop a strong supportive social network. This is extremely important. It gives you the opportunity to reach out for feedback, a backup, or a kick in the ass. It also reminds us that we’re not alone and have those who care about our wellbeing. Take time to search for strengths you already possess. You may have lost touch with them due to feeling overwhelmed or beat down. Sometimes, counselors or close friends are great at helping us remember them. This can increase self-awareness and confidence.

Developing tools is not only possible, but the process of gaining them helps us adapt better to situations in the future and increase our confidence overall.

Use humor, positivity, conviction, empathy, and flexibility. Having these in your toolbox can help develop a strong sense of identity and worth, self-esteem, and confidence about bouncing back successfully in spite of life’s obstacles.

Don’t give up. Find methods to tap into your strengths or take the initiative to create them. Regardless, it takes initiative, energy, and power to incorporate them into our lives. Consider all of the assets we possess that can support our ideas that we are powerful, driven, and worthy of so much in our lives including happiness, success, and love. Like many things, these strengths can be learned by a process not unlike how most of us learned to ride a bike. Similarly, it’s important to find people who can give you suggestions about how to develop skills, support you when you try out new things, and hug you when things don’t work out according to plan. Much like riding a bike, there may be some scrapes and bruises as you learn to navigate the process, but put on your crash helmet and get ready to start peddling.  Brent Heinze, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor. Get more HeinzeSight online at ofcnow.co/brent or send him a question for his column at PerspectiveShift@yahoo.com.

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PHOTO: CHRISTINA GRESSIANU

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WHO? ME? YE A H, YOU ! and when we get into a relationship, we become the person we think we’re supposed to be. I’ve seen countless rom-coms about people pretending to be who they aren’t, I WAS REGALING MY FRIEND the other day with stories only to fall in love with someone and get stuck in a lie. of relationships past, and I observed to her that I used (Cue the screwball story of how the truth comes out, to behave as I thought a girlfriend should. I made some things go sour, then when it seems like the relationship interesting observations because I had never quite looked is doomed, but then something happens and love wins at the unnecessary pressure I’d been putting on myself. because all is forgiven and they walk hand-in-hand down When we get into relationships, we bring expectations. the sidewalk toward their beautiful future.) Taking this to heart, I entered relationship after reWe have needs, desires, fears, stories, lives! before we lationship working hard to be meet. I entered each relationperfect, acting the part of the ship with expectations of how I perfect partner. If I’m perfect, wanted to be treated, and when If you’re not honest about who you won’t leave and I’ll get I didn’t express these needs, I usually didn’t get them. To be my happy ending. I was Julia you are, what you believe, or totally honest, what kept me Roberts in “Runaway Bride.” It how you think, you’ll find your complacent was that sometimes wasn’t until I figured out how relationships unfulfilling. I liked my eggs that I could be I got what I thought I wanted. Period. I was affirmed: If I was good my true self and ready to be in enough and patient enough, I a relationship would be rewarded. This goes for all relationThose magic moments kept ships really, not just partners. me going. I clung to those moments for later, when things If you’re not honest about who you are, what you believe, weren’t in alignment. When I’m just the right girlfriend, or how you think, you’ll find your relationships unfulfillI get the prize of a perfect partner — even if only for a ing. Period. night, a weekend, or three days of a four day vacation. Here’s the biggest bonus I’ve received from being From everywhere, we’re bombarded with messages myself: peace. I can truly relax now. My anxiety of failing to change who we really are. 100 million people wouldn’t is gone.I don’t have to be anyone other than me. I am spend $20 billion annually in the diet industry, and plastic the only person you can expect me to be, and now you surgery wouldn’t be an $11 billion annual business if know exactly who I am. everyone were fine with themselves. We spend our time So be your true self. It might be a rough start, but keep thinking about all of the things that are wrong with us, at it! You’ll get better … then you’ll be great at being you. 

PHOTO: FLOR BLAKE

Robyn Vie Carpenter-Brisco The Lesbian Socialite

Robyn Vie Carpenter-Brisco is a social columnist on the local and national LGBT community. Read more from Robyn online at outfrontonline.com or find her on Twitter @TheLesSocialite.

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T H A N K I N G V O L U N T E E R S AT T H E C E N T E R The GLBT Community Center of Colorado’s Annual Volunteer Celebration and Community Open House was held on Nov 9. The event served as a thank you to the Center’s volunteers and the re-launch of the David Bohnett Cyber Center, which was recently refurbished with new Lenovo computers. Each year, hundreds of volunteers donate their time to support the Center and its programs. So far this year, 500 volunteers have worked over 16,000 hours. John White was named the 2014 Volunteer of the Year.

See more photos at outfrontonline.com | Photos by Charles Broshous

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Designs: Denver ODDD, Kimono Dragons, EKiZ, House of Arden, Babylon Floral, D’Lola Couture Hair & Makeup: Belle & Beau Salon, Vanity Dollz, Rebelle Salon, Fleur Salon, Henry’s Salon Models: Jonathan Ingebrigtsen, Melody Esler, Nate Treece, Diva Brown, Jade Mao Photography: Jim Bailey Photography

OUT FRONT AND CENTER

THE CENTER’S GOT YOU COVERED WHEN IT COMES TO HEALTH CARE Rex Fuller As the Affordable Care Act marks its first anniversary, Healthcare Enrollment Program Manager at the Center Clayton Scherf sees a lot of positive outcomes. “If you look statistically nationwide, the ACA is a success,” he says. In conjunction with the Colorado AIDS Project, The Center helps people across Colorado sign up for health care through the ACA. Working with Colorado’s open market exchange, The Center and CAP provide a safe space for LGBT Coloradans to get help enrolling in health insurance. Before the ACA, LGBT individuals commonly experienced enrollment discrimination. People were denied coverage because of gender identity, sexual orientation, and/or HIV status. The ACA has since outlawed the discrimination. “Under the law, all of us are required to have health coverage,” Clayton explains. Still, many are concerned about the affordability. Fortunately, there’s financial assistance available. “The Affordable Care Act is what is says Working with Colorado’s it is: affordable,” Clayton continues. open market exchange, Depending on specific qualifications such as income and geographic locaThe Center and CAP provide tion, there may be assistance available a safe space for LGBT to help individuals cover the cost of Coloradans to get help the monthly premiums. “I’ve seen individuals come enrolling in health insurance. through our offices who’ve been offered plans as low as $11 a month,“ Clayton says. “We have ten or more carriers and over 150 plans to choose from. That’s the benefit of having a health coverage guide: Someone can actually sit down with you and really address what your needs are and what’s best for your current circumstance.” Colorado’s trans community is seeing real progress. Before the ACA, many trans individuals were denied coverage or charged more than others for substandard policies. The law now bans denying anyone insurance based on a pre-existing condition and Colorado requires coverage of all trans healthcare needs including surgeries, mental health, and prescription drugs. As well, married same-sex couples in Colorado are now recognized by the federal government. That means Colorado health insurance companies must cover married same-sex Coloradans — and that coverage travels with you no matter what state you live in. Open enrollment begins Nov. 15. The Center has a list of LGBT-friendly providers available free of charge. “It’s easy to schedule an appointment,” Clayton says, but he urges everyone to make an appointment soon. Open enrollment is time-limited. Once the open enrollment window closes, health insurance is not available until next year unless there’s a “qualifying event” such as marriage, birth, or other specific changes that affect your income. “[The ACA] is a new avenue. I think as tools and resources become available, it’s important to learn how to utilize them and take advantage of this new opportunity for coverage.”  Visit glbtcolorado.org/health or call 303.951.5218 to speak with someone statewide.

First Class Fashionista | Latin life | Westword OU T F RO N TO N L I N E .CO M | N OV E M B E R 19, 2 0 14 | 2 1

F R E E F U R RY B F F s ! Kristin Skelton November is Adopt-A-Senior-Pet Month and the Dumb Friends League wants to remind everyone that love knows no age. To help its more mature adoptable pets find happy homes, DFL is waiving the adoption fee for all senior pets (that’s 8+ years old) through the entire month of November. There are many benefits to adopting a more mature companion! For instance: • What you see is what you get. Older cats and dogs are open books. Their personalities are already developed, so you’ll know if he or she is the right fit for you.

• It’s not a full-time job. Adult pets are past the kitten and puppy phase that often requires an extensive commitment of time and energy. This is definitely a bonus for families with young kids — and busy professionals with carpeting! • With age comes wisdom. Your senior pet is more likely to come housetrained, and probably already knows basic commands and manners. • Old dog, new tricks. Think you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? Think again. Older pets can learn new things and are great at focusing on you — and on the task at hand — because they’re calmer than youngsters. • Senior snuggles are the best. Senior pets don’t require as much daily activity and are perfectly happy snuggled up with you on the couch during those lazy Sundays. • Less transition time. Mature companion pets will settle in quickly and make themselves right at home. • Great for rookies. Adopting a senior pet is a great option for first-time pet owners. They are ready-made companions and are every bit as loving and loyal as a younger pet. • Shorter commitment. Adopting a senior pet is not a less serious commitment, but it can be a shorter one. If you’re not sure where you’ll be in 10 years (or if you’re approaching your golden years), consider adopting a senior pet. You’ll be providing a loving home for a displaced pet to live out its later years.

• They’re rewarding. Whether you have them for five years or 10, we can’t think of anything more rewarding than making the last years of a pet’s life the best they can be. • They’re ADORABLE! Who can disagree? All cat and dog adoptions include spay/neuter surgery, vaccinations, microchip identification implant, and a free office visit with a participating veterinarian. The standard adoption screening process still applies during all waived fee promotions. Ready to adopt? DDFL.org or (303) 751-5772.

LIFE’S HAPPIER WITH A PET! Adopt a new friend today! At the Dumb Friends League, all cat and dog adoptions include spay/ neuter, a microchip ID, and initial vaccinations. Visit DDFL.org to see all adoptable animals looking for good homes. 2080 S Quebec Street, Denver • (303) 751-5772 It’s time to “paws” and give! Each holiday season, patrons are invited to DDFL’s three Colorado facilities to fill out a “paw” decoration with a donation amount and a message, which is then displayed on the walls. Children and adults alike often write something in honor or memory of a special pet or horse. Donations of supplies are also welcome. This is a great time for patrons to visit the shelters with family, view the animals in our care, and teach and share the spirit of giving. 

FRED – ID# 0691657 My new friends here have called me a sweet and smart guy who is a good walker and likes getting pet. I’m seeking my forever home...but no small children please! I think it would be great if you came around to visit me. Let’s get to know each other and see where this goes!

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TASHA – ID# 0677896 When I look at you with my big, round eyes how can you resist me? I am a lovely girl who needs a forever home with lots of love. In the past, it was said I got along with all people, but I would do best in a home with no dogs. I enjoyed being around humans but did have an independent side.

MOTLEY – ID# 0540917 My new friends here say that I walk well on a leash, and I am hoping you’ll come visit me so that I can walk right into your heart! My previous owner said that in the past I was fond of my people and did well with the children I knew. I am a special pet, and if I might be the canine companion for you, let’s meet today!

LEGAL

LEGAL DIRECTORY

TWO DIFFERENT WAYS YOU AND YOUR PARTNER CAN

C H A N G E YO U R L AST N A M ES NOW THAT YOU CAN LEGALLY BE MARRIED IN COLORADO, an important question to consider is whether you or your partner will share in the other’s last name after tying the knot. Some couples will decide to take one last name, others will keep their own last name, while others will even hyphenate to include both names. But what if you and your partner decide not to formally marry but you still wish to share a last name? NAME CHANGE AS A RESULT OF MARRIAGE Although obtaining a name change is time consuming in either scenario, it is much easier to do after you and your partner have been married. First, you need to obtain several certified copies (at least two or three) of your marriage certificate from the Clerk and Recorder’s Office in the county in which it was filed. Second, change your name with the Social Security Administration by completing Form SS-5 and following the instructions contained therein. Take the completed form to your nearest Social Security office along with a certified copy of your marriage license, your current photo ID, and your passport or birth certificate, and they will issue an amended card with your new name. Third, visit your local Colorado Department of Motor Vehicles office to have your name changed on your driver’s license. You will need to wait 24 hours from the time you change your Social Security card to apply for a name change with the DMV. You will also need another certified copy of your marriage certificate and driver’s license, and you will need to pay a $21 fee for the new license. Once you have changed your name on your Social Security card and driver’s license, you will need to change it on your passport as well as with your bank, employer, debtors, and others as needed.

⋅ FAMILY LAW ⋅ CIVIL UNION DISSOLUTIONS ⋅ DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

⋅ PRE-UNION AGREEMENTS ⋅ ESTATE PLANNING ⋅ PERSONAL INJURY

NAME CHANGE WITHOUT A MARRIAGE If you and/or your partner wish to change your last name as a sign of your commitment without a formal marriage, the change is certainly possible, although much more time consuming and expensive. You will first need to obtain a fingerprint-based criminal history check from the Colorado Bureau of Investigation (CBI) as well as the FBI. Instructions for this can be found at the following link: bit.ly/CONameChange. Once these results are received, you will need to submit them to your local county court along with a completed Petition for Change of Name (Adult) and any other documents stated in the instructions. The court may also want to conduct a brief hearing to inquire the reason for your requested name change to ensure that it is not being done to defraud anyone, so be prepared to speak to a judge if requested. Once the court has reviewed your Petition, you will need to publish notice of your name change in a local news publication. After the publication term is complete, you will need to provide the court with a certificate of publication to obtain your Decree of Name Change. Once the decree has been issued, obtain several certified copies of the decree, and continue with the steps stated above to change your name with Social Security, the DMV, and other important agencies. Bloch & Chapleau have served the LGBT community for more than 25 years. Reach them at (303) 331-1700 or visit them online at BlochChapleau.com.

The opinions expressed in this article are general in nature. For specific legal advice about your particular situation, please contact an attorney.

BACHUS & SCHANKER, LLC 866-277-6711 • www.ColoradoLaw.net 1899 Wynkoop St., Suite 700, Denver Personal Injury • Auto Accidents Worker’s Compensation • Wage Disputes

BLOCH & CHAPLEAU, LLC 303-331-1700 • www.BlochChapleau.com 1725 Gaylord St., Denver Family Law • Civil Union Dissolutions Pre-Union Agreements • Auto Accidents

LAW OFFICES OF

LISA E. FRAZER, LLC 303-861-7717 • www.FrazerFamilyLaw.com 936 E. 18th Ave, Denver Family Law/Civil Unions Divorce/Dissolution • Child Custody

LAW OFFICE OF

BYRON K. HAMMOND, LLC 303-501-1812 • www.BKH-Law.com 3900 E. Mexico Ave., Denver Wills • Trusts • Estate Planning Probate • Elder Law

WOODY LAW FIRM, LLC 303-968-1711 • www.WoodyLawLLC.com 1407 Larmier St., Suite 300, Denver Dissolution of Civil Unions & Marriages Legal Separation • Second Parent Adoption outfrontonline.com/legal-directory To advertise here, please call 303-477-4000, or email marketing@outfrontonline.com.

⋅ AUTO ACCIDENTS ⋅ CRIMINAL LAW ⋅ DUI DEFENSE ⋅ BUSINESS LAW

Call today to speak to an attorney: 303-331-1700 Small Firm Attention, Big Firm Results Serving the LGBT Community for Over 25 Years BlochChapleau.com | 1725 Gaylord Street • Denver, CO 80206 OU T F RO N TO N L I N E .CO M | N OV E M B E R 19, 2 0 14 | 2 3

CA L E NDAR

FA B U LO U S E V E N T S F O R LG B T C O LO R A D O & B E Y O N D

NOV 13

DENVER LGBT CHEER SQUAD

THRU

Put your pom-poms up and try out for the LGBT cheer squad. Make new friends and show your fierce pride in Denver. People with coaching experience are also needed. If interested in trying out, contact Melissa at (303) 681-1195 or email at markmt49@q.com

THU NOV 20

TRANSGENDER DAY OF REMEMBRANCE

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION MONTH

TO SUPPORT COLORADO AIDS PROJECT @ MINDFUL, 5926 E. COLFAX AVE.

Join Mindful Consumption Month and help support the Colorado AIDS Project. You can help out by donating canned food, winter clothing, hygiene kits, and nutritional supplements. ColoradoAidsProject.org

NOW PLAYING

NOV 25 THRU

FEB 16

@ JEFFERSON UNITARIAN CHURCH 14350 W. 32 ND AVE., GOLDEN • 7PM A day to memorialize the lives of those who have died at the hands of others due to transgender discrimination and hatred, “The Transgender Day of Remembrance seeks to highlight the losses we face due to anti-transgender bigotry and violence. With so many seeking to erase transgender people — sometimes in the most brutal ways possible — it is vitally important that those we lose are remembered, and that we continue to fight for justice.” – Transgender Day of Remembrance founder Gwendolyn Ann Smith

NOV 28 THRU

DEC 24

FORBIDDEN BROADWAY

ICE SKATING AT SKYLINE PARK @ 16 TH & ARAPAHOE For those of you who are graceful on ice, this free ice skating rink returns to downtown Denver, with the option of bringing your own skates or renting a pair at minimal cost.

@ GARNER GALLERIA THEATRE A musical that roasts other musicals? This sidesplitting performance features outrageous costumes, hysterical rewrites of songs, and spot-on impressions covering the highs and lows of other recent Broadway shows. This musical comedy has won several awards, including nine Drama Desk Awards and a special Tony Award. Find tickets and info at DenverCenter.org

THE SANTALAND DIARIES @ THE JONES THEATRE

FRI NOV 28

Already sick of Christmas and need the cure? Crumpet the Elf can help you out in this hilarious, acclaimed one-man comedy from Boulder Ensemble Theatre Company, presented by Off-Center. David Sedaris’ offbeat tales from his experiences as a Macy’s elf in New York City is the sure cure for the common Christmas show. (Leave the kids at home!) For tickets go to DenverCenter.org

A CHRISTMAS CAROL @ THE STAGE THEATRE Part of Denver’s holiday tradition, this heartwarming musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic novel lets you experience Scrooge’s overnight transformation from selfish money-hoarder to a generous and kind human being. “A Christmas Carol” illuminates the true meaning of holiday spirit. Tickets and pricing at DenverCenter.org

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NOV 28 THRU

DEC 28

DOWNTOWN DENVER’S GRAND ILLUMINATION @ UNION STATION Each year, downtown Denver features a beautiful holiday-light display stretching from Union Station to the City and County Building. Festivities will begin around 5:30pm at Union Station. A countdown to the illumination begins at about 6:30pm. The light display lasts until Dec 31. lodo.org

WORLD AIDS DAY

MON DEC 1

REMINDER! World AIDS Day is December 1. Let’s continue the trend of education with some facts and stats via the World Health Organization.

SAT NOV 29

SHOP SMALL: SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY

@ CHERRY CREEK NORTH After the Black Friday Craze, Cherry Creek North presents Small Business Saturday. Denver’s luxury neighborhood hosts 16 city blocks of boutiques, home décor, galleries, spas, top-rated restaurants, and more. Since 2010, this annual shopping event has grown each year, so come support small local businesses the Saturday after Thanksgiving. cherrycreeknorth.com

FRI DEC 5

SUN THE 6 ANNUAL NOV RED BALL 30 @ CHERRY CREEK NORTH TH

Red Ball is Denver’s premier hair and fashion runway event to raise awareness for World AIDS Day and support the Denver Colorado AIDS project. Red Ball combines high-end fashion from local designers, OUTrageous hairstyles, and exquisite makeup artistry to produce a fiery runway event unlike any other. Red Ball comes complete with a cocktail reception, entertainers, and a silent auction, making this a Denver must. redballdenver.org

DEC 5&6

MSU DENVER

HOLIDAY CARD TO THE CITY

@ KING CENTER CONCERT HALL • 7:30PM

HOLIDAY MANCRAFT @ VFW POST 2461 1350 SOUTH BROADWAY, DENVER

Don’t miss the annual Holiday Card to the City at Auraria Campus’ performing arts complex. The Festival Choir and Symphony Orchestra will perform some classic and contemporary favorites to usher in the holiday cheer. For tickets, check out MSUDenver.edu/KingCenter

Real men make stuff! Ink Lounge has gathered a creative team of crafty men who are “kick ass in the making stuff department,” and they’ve made it all with their bare hands. From clothing to pickles, and monsters to letterpress, knives to screen-prints, art prints to glassware, they’ve got just about anything a man can make. Many items are suited for all genders and ages. The first 50 guests in the door will get a man sack filled with goodies, including a drink ticket (we all love those), an official ManCraft koozie, and other manly stuff. Boulder will also host a Holiday Mancraft on Dec 6. For more info check out InkLoungeCreative.com

OPENS

DEC 5

DECEMBER AT

DENVER BOTANIC GARDENS @ 1007 YORK ST. Ring in the holidays with a stroll through one of Denver’s most beautiful places. The Denver Botanic Gardens will be illuminated in more than a million colorful twinkling lights, and you can enhance the experience with their HoloSpex 3-D glasses. Seasonal entertainment is presented on select evenings. Also, check out the Trail of Lights in Chatfield, where you can take a hayride through the lighted countryside. botanicgardens.org

HIV (the virus that causes AIDS) stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. HIV attacks the body’s immune system, which means fighting off sickness and diseases is either a terrible struggle or — if unchecked — a no-go. HIV can be transmitted through: • unprotected sexual intercourse (vaginal or anal) or oral sex with an infected person. • transfusions of contaminated blood. • the sharing of contaminated needles, syringes, or other sharp instruments. • the transmission between a mother and her baby during pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. How quickly does a person infected with HIV develop AIDS? The length of time can vary widely. Untreated, the majority of people infected with HIV will develop signs of HIV-related illnesses within 5 – 10 years, although this can be shorter. The time between acquiring HIV and an AIDS diagnosis is usually can be 10 – 15 years, but sometimes longer. Antiretroviral therapy (ART) can slow the disease progression by preventing the virus replicating and therefore decreasing the amount of virus in an infected person’s blood (known as the ‘viral load’). How can I limit my risk of HIV transmission through sex? • Use male or female condoms correctly each time you have sex. • Practice only non-penetrative sex. • Remain faithful in a relationship with an uninfected equally faithful partner with no other risk behavior. • Abstain from sex. Together, we can end AIDS. Learn more by visiting coloradoaidsproject.org

JAN 2015

WOMEN’S EMPOWERMENT PROGRAM @ HOLOBEING WELLNESS INSTITUTE 3008 FOLSOM ST., BOULDER This 16-week life event is meant to enhance the lives of women, and help you to recognize and activate your own unique power. This program will help you to transform challenges into opportunities, all while receiving support in a tight circle of women. During this program, you will meet weekly to discuss, support and explore engaging your power. Bi-weekly sessions with Erin Hernandez MA, a licensed professional counselor, are also offered for exploration and to shift anything that needs deeper attention. For more information on this empowerment program visit ErinHernandez.org OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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Shopping by the District Larimer Square

Berlin Sylvestre

You’re going to start looking at stores and boutiques in different ways come the next few weeks, and a lot of you (ok, us) are new to Denver. In case you don’t feel like riding around the entire city in search of the right spot to park and shop, we’ve created a little somethin’ to streamline the shopping experience. (Of course, there are a few more “here and there” spots to fill your gift bags, so feel free to sight-see as you roll around the glorious landscape in search of the perfect fit — this is just a fine start for newbies.) Check in with Out Front Magazine in two weeks, where we explore hot new gadgets and trends. Chances are, you might find them tucked in a cider-scented corner in one of the following districts.

The Tone: A good mix of local and national brands that are a bit higher end, but with character. The demographic is a bit more mature, let’s say, but that’s mostly because quality goods don’t come cheap. The Stores: Timbuk2, Blush, The Bent Lens, Lash, Fluevog, Moda Man, Scarpaletto, John Atencio, The Market, among others. The Parking: Look for garages and valet. Other than that, it’s metered street parking all the way.

Highlands The Tone: Shopping for someone kinda quirky? This district has the best used bookstore in town, secondhand goods on the real, and caters more to the young family demographic. (It’s also a great place to plan a wedding, now that we look at it.) The Stores: Mondo Vino, Happy Cakes Bakeshop, Wordshop Paperie, Little White Dress Bridal Shop, West Side Books, among others. The Parking: Street parking, and it’s actually not too bad.

Cherry Creek North LARIMER SQUARE

The Tone: The Rodeo Drive of Denver, and where to go if you’re down to drop some coin on you or the one you’re out to impress. The Stores: Hermes, Pura Vida, Fifth Avenue Designs, Hamilton Furs, Lululemon Athletica, Bose, Kate Spade New York, among others. The Parking: Metered street parking. There are garages, but they’re scant. Pro-tip: Hapa Sushi has a few spots in a garage beneath the restaurant. (Enter via the back alley.)

16th Street Mall The Tone: The question is: What can’t you get at the 16th Street Mall? From attorney appointments to dim sum, you’re good to go. The Stores: I Heart Denver, Banana Republic, Express, GAP, Patagonia, Molly’s of Denver, Goorin Bros., among others. BELMAR

The Parking: The metered street parking can be a nightmare in this pedestrian promenade, but with once you’re in, you’re fine. So ... many ... stores.

Bel Mar The Tone: “Chain Central,” but meant to provide an urban feel in the burbs. (It’s really an outdoor mall; a one-stop-shop that makes it easy to grab something for someone who’s pretty easy to gift. The Stores: Aeropostale, GameStop, Victoria’s Secret, Bath & Body Works, Dick’s Sporting Goods, Target, DSW, among others. The Parking: Street parking plus ample spaces in free lots. Score!

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South Pearl/Platte Park The Tone: South Pearl has that quaint feel, and though it’s becoming more of a restaurant destination, it definitely has that cute boutique goodness. The Stores: Murder by the Bookstore, Greentree Cylcery, Denver Folklore Center, The Whole Cat & Dogs Too, among others. The Parking: Metered street parking.

RiNo The Tone: RiNo (the River North Art District) is tucked-away, oddball, eccentric, artsy, gritty. This is kind of district you’d go if you’re not in a real hurry and just wanna take in an afternoon of “oh, that looks cool” and “ooh, what’s in here?” The Stores: The Source, Oh, Wheelie, Giuliana Direct Olive Oil, Chocolate Crisis Center, Yours Truly Cupcake, Wine & Whey, among others. The Parking: There are actually some street-side spots that don’t have meters! (Yaay!) Other than that, meters. (Boo!)

? FOR ME YOU N’T SHOULD H AV E !

Northﬁeld Stapleton The Tone: Pretty much the always-convenient polygamous marriage of commercial chains, but in a weird area that’s actually pretty industrial, if you zoom out and have a look. Nevertheless, if your objects of holiday affection are the picky sort, you’ll be fine just pulling in here and loading up. The Stores: Target, Bass Pro Shops,Sephora, Claire’s, Hot Topic, Journeys, Yankee Candle, Famous Footwear, among others. The Parking: Parking lots. (You know the drill on these kinds of places.)

Berkeley The Tone: The more sunny side of Highlands, the Berkeley district is mellow, “small-town,” hidden, and off-the-beaten path with that consignment and lifestyle feel. The Stores: Flesher-Hinton Music, Horseshoe Craft and Flea Market, Small Batch Liquors, Shakti Whole Health Studios, among others. The Parking: Metered street parking, but it’s not too bad.

Sakura Square The Tone: Though unquestionably Japanese in inspiration, Sakura is still very “mom and pop shops” with a meditative garden. It’s Denver’s taste of the Orient, and just really mellow. The Asian grocers carry killer items for those culinary wizards you want to challenge. The Parking: Ample metered street parking, unless there’s a game going on. Vivan LeCher • Photo by Jay Diers

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Let’s Get Personal

PERSONAL SHOPPERS TO THE RESCUE

Amanda Moutinho SHOPPING CAN BE A TOTAL NIGHTMARE. With so many options to choose from, it’s stressful deciding what shoes match those pants or what necklace goes with that dress, all the while trying to stay abreast of new trends. To save yourself from a mall-floor meltdown, enlist the help of someone whose job is to make you look good. Personal shoppers can be a lifesaver to help with whatever you need, whether it’s an outfit head to toe for a hot date or a new job, a current fashion update, or a total wardrobe overhaul Several stores offer complimentary personal shopping services including Macys, J. Crew, Anthropolgie, and Nordstrom. Appointment types vary from store to store with an array of choices from a quick closet update to a full style makeover. Personal shoppers can help dress you for specific occasions or find a new style that suits you. Some stores even offer free tailoring services with your purchases. If you’re in need for some more personalized and thorough help, check out some specialized styling companies like Mile High Style, KeelyStyle, or Milena Image Consulting. These stylists can tune up your closet and also take you on personal shopping trips. Their services can range from $150 for a quick consultation or over $1000 for more desperate cases – these prices not including

the new clothes purchased. You can buy packages with a certain amount of hours or functions, and each company has options to fit any budget. If you decide to open up your style for suggestions, here are some tips for working with personal shoppers: • Be cautious that, especially in department stores, most personal shoppers work on commission. When you’re hundreds of dollars in, and your personal stylist is trying to convince you that you’d wear a red fedora everywhere, think twice. Keep a level head and know your goals. • Do a little research. Know the general price points for the items you want to buy and how much you’re willing to spend. If you need three new suits, you might not want to break the bank on a gold watch. • Know that personal shoppers are usually honest with you. Their ultimate goal is a continued relationship, so letting you buy a pair of jeans that makes your butt look too big is not in their best interest.

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• Be as specific as possible in what you’re looking for. Think about your lifestyle, what looks good on you, and what you want your outfit to achieve. • Be realistic. You don’t want to spend time and money on a pile of clothes you’ll never wear. • Don’t be shy. Ask about different brands, how to transition pieces from day to night, what styles go best with which accessories, etc. • Usually there’s no tipping, but you can refer other clients to them. • It’s best to use a personal shopper when you want help with more than just one item, which you can ask an on-floor sales person for. • Beware, personal shoppers can be addictive. After you have professional help getting dressed, you might not be able do it by yourself. 

SP EC IAL DEL IVERY CAN’T STAND THE STORES? TRY A SUBSCRIPTION. Isa Jones

inding the right clothes can be a nightmare. You aren’t sure what colors work, what matches what or if a certain shape suits you. We’ve all had fashion insecurities and wished we had a personal shopper or assistant to ensure we were making the right decisions. We’ll now there are plenty of subscription services that do just that. The most famous is Trunk Club, outfitting men with stylish threads for the past few years. While Trunk Club might be the most talked about, it’s far from cheap. So here are some alternatives that will having you looking rich without draining your bank account. FOR MEN Frank & Oak Frank & Oak works a little differently than Trunk Club and is cheaper, since they make all their products in house. You pay to get a brochure every month full of clothing ideas you might like. Pick five for a small fee. Five Four Club Five Four Club is great because there are no extra fees. The $60 a month is all you pay. They don’t send you a ton each month, but the items are worth up to $120 so you’re getting a deal. Plus, coming home each month to find a box of stylish clothes tailored to you is a pretty great feeling. Men’s Style Lab Men’s Style Lab is pretty similar to Trunk Club. You meet with a stylist virtually, they send you clothes, you keep what you like. It’s not fancy, but it’s way easier than taking selfies in a dressing room and sending them to your friends to see if basil green works with your eye color. FOR WOMEN Stitch Fix Men have it easy. Pants, button downs, maybe a tie. But for women it’s a whole different world of patterns and shapes and accessories. With Stitch Fix, the nightmare is turned into a pleasant dream. You pay a $20 monthly “styling fee” which can go toward a purchase, you get five items a month, and you pay for and keep what you like. It’s that easy. Le Tote Le Tote markets itself as the Netflix of outfits and it’s brilliant. Need a formal outfit for that gallery party next week? Log on to Le Tote, make sure your monthly fee is paid, and pick out something you love. It arrives, you look stunning, and then you send it back for another outfit whenever you like. Granted, you don’t get to keep what you wear, but maybe having a closet full of clothes you’ve only worn once isn’t the best idea. This way, your style is always changing and you always look fabulous. Style Me Perfect Style Me Perfect puts a personal stylist on your computer. You can ask for fashion advice, they can put together outfits based on what you have in your closet, or send you a customized outfit. You’ll never have to think about what skirt goes with what heels again. Style Me Perfect has you covered.  OU T F RO N TO N L I N E .CO M | N OV E M B E R 19, 2 0 14 | 29

TOP 6 APPS FOR SHOPPING SHOPPING SHOPPING Isa Jones IT’S 2014 AND SOMEHOW, shopping this time of the year is still a giant pain. You spend too long on parking garages hoping for a spot, fight the crowds in the malls and stores, deal with the fact that the one thing you need is inevitably sold out. But, it is the age of smart phones, and thankfully, there are apps to make shopping a little easier. Here are five to thank the retail gods for. AMAZON PRICE CHECK Ever have the experience of seeing something you want at the store, looking at the price tag, and immediately thinking “I can get this cheaper on Amazon”? Well, if you download the Amazon Price Check app, you can scan the barcode, or just take a picture of it and suddenly get all the information on the product Amazon has. That includes prices and reviews. So you can decide, on the spot, whether to click “buy” on Amazon or buy in the store. SHOPSAVVY Not only does ShopSavvy notify you of sales at your favorite stores, you can use the barcode scanner to make sure you’re getting the best deal. It’s an app dedicated to saving you money, and it’s a beautiful thing. SMOOPA Smoopa is great if you want a specific item, but just aren’t willing to pay the current price. You can compare the price to other stores (and other store websites) and set price alerts to let you know when the price drops so you can snag it right when it goes on sale.

Never feel the heartbreak of buying something and then seeing it on sale for much cheaper at the next store again. SHOPKICK What if you got paid to shop? With Shopkick, you can earn rewards for dropping cash at your favorite stores. Hundreds of stores are partnered with Shopkick, and when you walk into one, just open the app and you’re eligible for reward points, which you can exchange for giftcards, aka free money. TOPHATTER Tophatter won’t just help you shop, it is the place to shop. It sells apparel, electronics, and makeup (three amazing categories of items) through 90-second flash sales. Open the app, see what’s on sale that minute, and score some great deals and indulge your guilty pleasure side with those sudden purchases. FLIPP Remember the ’90s when tons of flyers would come in the mail and you would spend your morning browsing through them for weekly sales? Well thankfully those are gone, but with Flipp, you can easily browse your favorite stores to see what’ll be on sale, clip virtual coupons, and save some green on your shopping. 

BLACK FRIDAY DEALS & STEALS Lauren Archuletta THANKSGIVING IS AROUND THE CORNER, which means I’m about to spend a week baking pies, gorging on turkey and stuffing, drinking a jug of Riunite red wine with the family, and throwing some yoga pants on to shop the shit out of Black Friday. You best believe I’ve been saving up my Kohl’s cash all year to score big on a mini Keurig for the office and a microwave, because who’s really paying $60 to defrost their chicken? If you’re jumping on the Black Friday train, stop by the following stores for the best deals, especially if you’re in the Metro Denver area. Sam’s Club If you’ve been able to hold onto your horses for this long without an iPhone 6, you might as well wait until Black Friday and fight for one at $99. That’s half price, y’all. The website Gotta Deal.com leaked that each Sam’s Club location will have between 40-50 units and you can get in line as early at 7am on Friday morning. While you’re waiting, you might as well pick up an iPad Air for $299, which is a $100 discount off its normal price. Walmart Yeah, yeah, Walmart sucks, whatever. Who else is going to give you a five-day Black Friday? The answer is nobody. Regardless of their deals, they’re offering 30

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you almost an entire week of deals and their one-hour in-stock guarantee. Stop complaining, you know you’ll be buying most of your Christmas gifts here, anyway. Best Buy If you do Black Friday shopping and don’t hit Best Buy, you’re doing it wrong. Their best deals so far include a 50-inch LED HDTV for $199 and a 16GB iPhone 6 for $100, with a two-year contract. Studio Thrive Get your Zumba on! Everyone’s favorite local workout studio is offering some awesome Black Friday specials to get you ready for the new year. The studio will be offering 50% off for new clients and 25% off for existing clients. So get in, get fit and get a great deal. Grass Station We’re in Colorado, so we might as well just talk about it. For many dispensaries, Black Friday is turning into Green Friday! The best deal thus far is Grass Station’s $50 ounces; the pot shop’s regularly lowest price bud is $250 an ounce, so this discount is bound to be a hit. The Grass Station will also offer $1 joints and $2 10 milligram edibles, just in case you need to chill out after a crazy Black Friday shopping spree. 

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Vivan LeCher • Photo by Jay Diers

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THE MILE HIGH MAN Topher La Fleur

oes it sometimes feel like the shopping in Denver is a little stale? Conventional clothiers seem to rule the city — where does the Mile High man shop? The following exquisite boutiques are the best and brightest menswear offerings in Denver.

Berkeley Supply 4309 Tennyson St., Denver You’re missing out if you haven’t made a trip to the Tennyson Street shopping district. Eli Cox, the owner and only employee at Berkeley Supply, opened his lifestyle boutique here in 2012. Forget the endless parade of meaningless trends and seasons — the man who shops here is design-focused and quality-driven. Most of the garments Cox sells are guaranteed for life, and all of them are American made. Mixed in with waxed canvas jackets and indigo-dyed denim, you’ll find chambray shirts and a line of soaps, shampoos, and grooming products.

Armitage & McMillan 1550 Platte St., Ste. D, Denver Don’t let the name fool you: Daniel Armitage and Darin Combs founded Armitage & McMillan less than a year ago, an act which began with a single idea: “Denver is a lifestyle-driven city; it’s not necessarily good for fashion. I needed a store I could see myself shopping in.” Inside, you’ll find raw denim, small brands in limited size runs, and skin care lines made for the contemporary urban warrior. The look is classic, not fashion forward. Says Daniel Armitage, “Guys in Denver will wear a suit and throw a ski jacket or boots on with it. There’s something for every guy here.”

The Bespoke Pedaler 1550 Platte St., Ste. A, Denver The clean, refreshing aesthetic at Bespoke Pedaler is part of a larger theme for co-owner Emily Hogle. “The goal is to show people that it’s possible to live without your car.” In Denver, one of the most active cities in the nation, it’s easier to bike to work than it is to drive. Now, with the help of The Bespoke Pedaler, it’s possible to look office-ready while being mobile-ready. Though European in concept, one will find an abundance of Americanmade bags, bicycles, denim, and shoes. Don’t forget to introduce yourself to the shop-dog when you stop by.

Denver’s Newest Doggie Daycare Denver Bark & Play is a safe, clean, healthy, and a fun daycare to bring your “Best Friends” while you are at work or on vacation. We will treat your pet as our FAMILY, and you will know they are getting the best care and having fun! 3,000 sq. ft. indoor play area • 1,500 sq. ft. outdoor play space 24 spacious boarding kennels • Doggie Cams to watch your pet play

1277 Santa Fe Dr. Denver, CO 80204 (303) 446-2275 denverbarkandplay.com 3 2 | N OV E M B E R 19, 2 0 14 | OU T F RO N TO N L I N E .CO M

Steadbrook 46 S. Broadway, Denver Dreams are made when Scandinavian aesthetics join with a casual coastal attitude. At Steadbrook, “Basics done well,” is the guiding maxim. Enjoying a freshly- pulled espresso at the in-store cafe is just one more thing that sets Steadbrook apart from the crowd. From underwear and knit caps to button-ups in playful patterns, Steadbrook has it all. For co-owner Nathan Kirkpatrick, the most important thing is rising above pretension to enhance, not change, the authenticity of Denver and its charismatic men.

Denver Blues The one thing every Mile High Man needs is a sharp pair of blue jeans, and I don’t mean BKE. It’s time to dispense with the distressed, over-done denim of the late ’90s and embrace the raw, deep indigo of Shockoe Denim. Shockoe Denim is a thoroughly American brand with deep Japanese roots. These rough, sharply-cut, highly-polished blues can be dressed up or down for day or night, office or party, single or mingle. Pair them with a blazer for comfortable sophistication, or with your favorite band tee-shirt on a quiet night in. These are not strip-mall blue jeans. Says owner Matt Rho, “Our denim is clean, modern, and slim, not skinny. We’re unconcerned with trends because our jeans are elegant and timeless.” Expect your new Shockoe jeans to exude manly sensuality with higher pockets, uncommon versatility, tight stitching, and an unparalleled attention to detail.

Sully & Co. 2443 Eliot St., Denver The light, welcoming storefront at Sully & Co. feels like a neighborhood bellwether. Yet, this Denver newcomer tops the list despite being three months old. For Mark Snipe, owner and proprietor of Sully & Co., Denver needed one thing — a classic, timeless men’s retailer for well-dressed urban men. Mark, like his store, is precise, smartly-outfitted, and effortlessly cool. You’ll find the repurposed barnwood shelves stocked with cashmere sweaters, elegant wool pants, and a line of sturdy waxed-canvas and leather bags. When you stop in, have a seat in the lounge and enjoy a small-batch flight of Brooklyn bourbon. Shop-dog Sully, for whom the store is named, may even stop by to say hello. Customer service, or genuine hospitality? You be the judge.

Available at Sully & Co., Berkeley Supply, and online at shockoedenim.com.

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ALL HA I L, OL D MAJ O R!

THIS HIGHLANDS HIT SERVES UP RUSTIC REALNESS Noah L. Jordan IN THE NOVEL “ANIMAL FARM,” Old Major is a prize-winning boar whose vision of a socialist utopia served as the inspiration for the Rebellion. In our mile-high city, Old Major is a mouth-watering restaurant whose vision of contemporary farmhouse cuisine and deformalized fine dining serves as an inspiration for the food-obsessed people of Denver. And we should be so thankful. Now this isn’t the sort of thing a food writer should ever say, but my favorite bite of the year might just be a soft cheddar cheese biscuit filled with smoked ham and red pepper jam. But that wasn’t the only thing my mouth found to be delicious from the hordes of food pilled in front of me while sitting at a window table: There was a delicious and soft pretzel roll with mustard butter, and a plate full of porkfat french fries, too. So know you know what I was staring at and I know what you’re thinking: Do I even need to read more, or should I just book a table now? Go ahead. Stop reading and book a table. And when you arrive for your reservation, I’ll probably be sitting nearby, sipping on a Modern Savage and mowing down anything and everything put in front of me. Created by Justin Brunson and Katie O’Shea Padró, the menu at the Highlands establishment walks the fine line between playful and honest. Starting with the Hamachi Crudo and Old Major Charcuterie Plate, my guest and I enjoyed the refreshing pieces of beet-cured hamachi as it joined forces with peppers and a blast of citrus. At the same time, we also enjoyed the various meats on our cured-in-house charcuterie board, which included Porchetta di Testa (meat made of rolled pig face.) Yeah, that happened and it was delicious. Clearing our plates and recharging our palates with a sip from an Anything But Sue, we set our sights on two delicious entrées. The Nose to Tail plate is certainly one for the meat lovers of the world. It features braised pork belly, confit ribs, Polish sausage, and crispy ears all on a bed of roasted cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, mushrooms, squash pureé, and acorn spätzle. Each bite brings a new filling flavor from a different part of the beast. The second entrée of pan-seared scallops was quite the contrast to our other mainly-meat plate. The dish included scallops, bacon, grits, roasted chili scallions, and lime sour cream. It was just enough to give you that satisfied and completely full feeling, without the guilt of leaving a naked plate on the table.

If that’s not enough and you’re feeling extra special, treat yourself to dessert — it’s worth it. Close your eyes and point — you legitimately can’t go wrong with any of the options, thanks to pastry chef, Nadine Donovan. I personally recommend the macaroon or the Sugar & Spice, but that’s just me. There’s just something very memorable about

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the place. Maybe it’s the service? Maybe it’s the highly-zvisible charcuterie room and house-cured meat selection? Or maybe it’s the fact that the menu is just so damn tasty. 

Old Major is located at 3316 Tejon Street.

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MARQUEE

GORGEOUS AND TRAGIC IN D E N V E R : M A D A M A B U T T E R F LY

STARZ DENVER FILM FESTIVAL

November 12 – 23 Sie FilmCenter, 2510 East Colfax DenverFilm.org

FORBIDDEN BROADWAY: ALIVE & KICKING! November 15 – March 1, 2015 Garner Galleria Theatre, Denver DenverCenter.org

PHOTO: MATTHEW STAVER

FIDDLER ON THE ROOF November 14 – February 28, 2015 5501 Arapahoe Ave. • Boulder BDTStage.com

SHE LOVES ME November 25 – December 21 6901 Wadsworth Blvd. • Arvada ArvadaCenter.org

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Bobby Crew

pera Colorado will present Giacomo Puccini’s timeless tale of tragic love and clashing cultures — “Madama Butterfly” — starting Nov. 15 at the Ellie Caulkins Opera house. The moving work is the story is of a beautiful young Japanese woman who is both loved and betrayed by an American naval officer at the dawn of the 20th Century. “Madama Butterfly” will feature Chinese soprano Xiu Ying Li (pronounced Shu Ying Li) plays the role of Cio-Cio San, and is known throughout the world for her continued performances as Cio-Cio. “Singing this role is more difficult than some of the other roles, I feel,” she says. “It’s always a great challenge — not only from the vocal technique but also from the character’s dramatic transformation and body movement.” Xiu Ying studied music in Shanghai, and then moved to New York to study at Mannes College of Music with renowned voice teacher Ruth Falcon. She obtained the role of Cio-Cio San in one of her very first gigs. “I [kept] this role in my pocket for 12 years,” she says. “Puccini’s music is my favorite, [such]

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beautiful melodies, especially in ‘Butterfly,’” Li tells Out Front. “She’s very young, very human, and full of personality. I really love performing as Cio-Cio in the show. The music itself and the emotion inside of her is just tremendous. She is really brave … for the honor of love.” If you’ve never been to an opera, this is the one to see as “Madama Butterfly” is one of the most frequently-performed operas around the world. “It’s not complicated to understand,” Xiu Ying says. “Just make sure you bring enough tissue — it’s so sad. The music is so gorgeous and it’s easy to catch the story. You can very easily be touched by everything that happens on stage.” “Madama Butterfly” is directed by Keturah Stickann, who spent time in Japan studying the culture and movement so the production features traditional costumes and sets. The show is conducted by Opera Colorado’s Artistic Advisor Ari Pelto, and also features notable singers Dinyar Vania as B.F. Pinkerton, Erica Brookhyser as Suzuki, and John Hancock as Sharpless. The performances of Madama Butterﬂy will last for only two weekends. Find tickets at OperaColorado.org

Chatting the Light Fantastic Amazon Studio’s “Transparent” star Judith Light dishes on her own transformation for the role. Gregg Shapiro EASILY THE MOST TALKED-ABOUT NEW SERIES of the fall 2014 season, “Transparent” (available through Amazon Prime) is, in a word, triumphant. Series creator Jill Soloway (“Afternoon Delight,” “Six Feet Under,” and “The United States of Tara”) has created a show that transcends labels, effortlessly blurring the lines between comedy and drama. Chronicling the story of Mort (Jeffrey Tambor) — a divorced father of three who is in the process of transitioning from male to female — becoming Maura, “Transparent” stars one of the most inspired and brilliant ensemble casts in recent memory, including Amy Landecker, Jay Duplass, and Gaby Hoffmann, as Maura’s adult children. Tambor is phenomenal in this role of a lifetime, but equally riveting is Judith Light, a familiar face to TV viewers from her years in soap operas, sitcoms, and primetime dramas, as Maura’s ex-wife Shelly. Shelly — remarried to Ed (Lawrence Pressman), a man with Alzheimer’s — remains a strong presence in the lives of her dysfunctionally delightful family, and has a way of drawing the viewer’s attention every time she appears on screen. That’s to the credit of Light, who has undergone what can best be described as her own physical transformation to portray Shelly. I spoke with Ms. Light about the show, her character, and her longtime support of the LGBT community. What was it about the character of Shelly Pfefferman that attracted you to playing her in “Transparent”? I think she’s one of the most fascinating characters I’ve ever gotten a chance to play. She’s written magnificently. She’s created brilliantly by Jill Soloway, I was going to be with my longtime friend Jeffrey Tambor, we were going to do this together. I knew about Amy Landecker and Jay Duplass and Gaby Hoffman’s work. I just knew it was going to be an incredible experience. It wasn’t just the character. It was all of those other things. Plus the fact that Amazon Prime picked it up and they were so supportive. It was really a slam dunk for me. I desperately wanted to play this part. I’m really glad you mentioned Jill. Were you a fan of her work, including “Six Feet Under” and “The United States of Tara,” before coming to work on “Transparent”? Oh my, yes! Don’t forget the movie “Afternoon Delight”! She won best director at Sundance in 2013 for that movie. Yes, I’m a huge fan of hers. The first time you appeared on screen as Shelly, I was blown away by your physical transformation. More than just slapping on a grey wig and a pair of glasses, your entire body was involved in the becoming the character. Can you please say something about the process you went through to become Shelly? First of all, you are probably one of the few who have noticed that. I want to say thank you so much for that. I really appreciate it. When you take on a character and they move into your body, it’s not always the easiest thing and not everybody notices it. I actually don’t know how to answer that question. Jill and I were talking about this. She asked me, “What happens to you?” I do a lot of homework on a role. All of us on the team worked with Joan

JUDITH LIGHT & GABY HOFFMANN IN “TRANSPARENT”

Scheckel who worked with us on the emotional connections we all had as a family, which is why it feels so much like family when you watch the show. Something happened to me in that process where I felt her come through me. I didn’t do a lot of intellectual work on it; I did a lot of more experiential connection with the other people who work on it and she began to come through in that process, in that way, doing Joan Scheckel work. Something was happening and I don’t even know how to define it. Thank you for noticing! What are the challenges and rewards of playing a Jewish mother? The humor. Oh my God! I had someone text me the other night who said they had just watched the second episode. [Quoting a line about a carryout] “Who changed the standing order?” [laughs]. Don’t you know that the mother knows how much everything weighs? It doesn’t get any better than that. You have to have brilliant writers to get that. The joy of that is so special. This is a basis of where this family comes from. There is so much love and support and connection, but there is also this kind of … when someone chooses to become so incredibly authentic and courageous, what does this family do with that? [These] people are incredibly expressive. But they are also, in their own very interesting ways, very scared of what happens when Maura throws this curveball to the family. Being a Jewish family, they deal with it in very particular ways. As you mentioned, the humor makes something so difficult much easier to experience and to bear. Exactly! Also, because there’s so much heart and humor in the Jewish community, you see the physicality we have with each other. We’re not afraid to grab each other, hug each other, kiss each other, touch each other. I think you see this heart connection.

Speaking of connections, you have a longstanding supportive and wonderful relationship with the LGBT community. Was that another reason you wanted to become involved with this project? Very, very much. When Jill and I had this 45minute Skype call, we talked about the show, we talked about my longtime connection with Jeffrey, and how much we liked each other’s work. But the real conversation about our LGBTQ activism was so important to why I wanted to do this. I’ve been on Broadway for the last four years and I’ve not been in California. I’ve been choosing my television projects very judiciously. I said to my longtime manager of 34 years that this would bring me back to California. This is the one … because Jill was talking about it. Before every rehearsal and every reading, we would talk about how grateful we are to be able to show this kind of story and how grateful we felt to Amazon Prime for being willing to do this story — their level of support. This has the opportunity to change the culture in exponential ways; to start removing the levels we have in the world in very powerful ways, in dramatic, humorous, deeply connected, fabulous ways. We talk about how the gay community has educated the world and shown the world about sexuality. It’s the transgender community educating the world about gender identity and gender fluidity. It’s something we don’t talk about and as a society we don’t know about. I’ve been on the board of the Point Foundation, which gives scholarships to LGBTQ youth who are marginalized because of their sexuality, and we have a very high percentage of trans youth we give scholarships to. They have educated us about this very issue. This is going to be something that will take us into the next arena. I think it’s the next step in understanding ourselves as human beings and ridding the world of bigotry. 

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A LITTLE MORE MADISON, PLEASE Noah L. Jordan

hen The Boy and I were in the beginning stages of our budding relationship, we swore the plan was to spend at least one romantic weekend getaway exploring the small isthmus town of Madison, WI. But then time flew by, and The Boy and I hadn’t managed to get away at all. In a last minute decision, we packed two weekenders, a few road meals, and a camera into my Jeep and set route to Madison. We arrived at the Mansion Hill Inn, a luxurious boutique hotel located on North Pinckney Street and only a short walk from downtown Madison. The historic property was designed and built back in 1857. Each room is unique and features rainfall showers, European linens, and a daily fresh-baked cookie with a fun fact and weather report. The hotel also offers complimentary access to B-Cycles, Madison’s bike sharing program, but after a four-hour drive from Minneapolis, biking was the last thing on the brain. Food was our focus. Down the road just a few blocks away lies Graze, a high-end and local interpretation of the New York gastropub scene, and the brainchild of Executive Chef Tory Miller. Not set on stuffing our faces but still satisfying our belly, The Boy quickly gravitated to the Wisconsin Meat & Cheese Board, also known as a charcuterie board (an item which quickly became his go-to selection on the trip) and I found myself staring down a plate of deviled eggs and Fried Cesar’s cheese curds. The meal was quick, delicious, and of a standard that showed us the city of Madison had far more to offer than we originally anticipated. Waking up the next morning, the natural light

streaming through the windows from our own private balcony made it difficult to leave, but The Boy and I knew in order to survive this trip we would need good, quality alone time — which lead him to CrossFit Recursive and me to The Studio. Each located on the edge of town on Williamson Street, the two facilities are impeccable and more than accommodating for travelers looking to drop-in for a workout. But a fair warning to those with pet allergies, CrossFit Recursive is also home to a well-behaved gym dog that is more than friendly and has no problem going in for a little extra love. Dinner that night took the two of us to a town favorite — The Tipsy Cow and tipsy was a pretty accurate description. With an hour-plus wait time, the Tipsy Cow doesn’t take reservations, so plan accordingly. We feasted on an order of truffle fries, two tipsy burgers (two 1/4 pound Knoche’s Market patties, 3-yr cheddar, onion, Widmer’s brick, Nueske’s bacon, tipsy sauce, and Mike’s pickles) and washed it all down with the help of a Tipsy Punch and a Tipsy Rita. And by the end of the meal we were indeed tipsy, but that didn’t stop us from jetting across town to Plan B, the high-energy gay club — the Tracks of downtown Madison. With a full drag show in progress, we watched as several local performers took to the stage serving high hair and even higher kicks. Admittedly hung over, but extremely excited, we woke up Saturday morning at the crack of dawn to experience all the hype surrounding the Dane County Farmers’ Market — and it was massive. The Saturday tradition began in 1972 and features everything from meats, cheeses, flowers, vegetables, and other specialty products from more than 300 vendors and is the largest farmers market in the Midwest. Along the path visitors can also experience

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live performances from local opera singers, violinists, and even a magician with more than few tricks up his sleeve. Yeah, I said it. After wandering the farmer’s market for a few hours, nothing pleased us more than a hot shower and a hot meal. While making our way to Merchant was easy, it was deciding where to start on the menu that was tough. After a charcuterie plate and fried local cheese curds tossed in buffalo sauce, and two handcrafted original cocktails, we were finally able to take our time and soak in the menu. Provided with a map of all the locally-sourced ingredients, we were able to find exactly where our delicious braised duck breast was raised. But by the end of the entrée, we didn’t care where on the map our beets were sourced for the red beet & dark chocolate cake, — we just knew it was delicious and easily our favorite dessert on the trip. The final day in Madison, though bittersweet, couldn’t have ended on a better note. Sardine, a lakeside bistro, offers an amazing view of Lake Monona and an even better brunch selection. With material sourced directly from the Dane County Farmers’ Market and local town favorite Underground Butcher, this foodie favorite opened its doors in 2006 and never looked back, which can’t be said about The Boy and me. As we drove the long stretch home, we couldn’t help but look back and wish for just a little more time on the isthmus. And while, at one point in time, Madison may have just been another throwaway college town, that certainly isn’t the case anymore. Madison has managed to become a thriving destination spot with all the glorious amenities of big city life without all the hassle and attitude of big city bitches. 

A L L PAI N? NO GAI N.

How to avoid overtraining and injury while working out. Kelsey Lindsey WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE: testing out the newest cycling/ yoga/dance fitness class, only to realize you’re the oldest one in the room. They’re so fit, so strong, but you manage to keep up — even through that uncomfortable back bend or high kick. You’ve got this. Flash-forward to two days later: You’re in pain and walking like a duck. You definitely don’t have this. When exercising leads to pain, it’s hard for dedicated athletes and outdoorsy Coloradans to take it easy … but sometimes it’s exactly what the doctor will order to prevent injury from overexercising. Below is some advice to help you avoid being sidelined from your favorite workout. Eat your veggies ... and carbs Although it might go against some of your dieting guidelines, completely cutting carbohydrates from your diet when practicing intense workouts can cause the muscles to enter a state in which the body uses muscle mass for energy. Carbs are needed to help the muscles repair and grow during periods of rest. Speaking of rest … Your time outside of the gym is just as important as the hours spent lifting. Be sure to get plenty of rest, which will help you repair muscle tissue, and reduce the intensity of workouts if your schedule

constantly has you on the go. And while spending three hours at the gym may sound like it’ll produce faster results, it most likely won’t. After about an hour working out, muscle-building testosterone levels dip, making it harder to bulk up — even with added time lifting. Rub it out. If you’re feeling tight, a deep-tissue massage can help increase blood flow and loosen you up. If you’re sporting an injury, the stimulated circulation can help recovery. Mix it up. Incorporate new moves and exercises into your routine to encourage growth and prevent injury. Consecutively working the same muscle groups can cause overtraining from repetitive stress, so wait at least 48 hours before repeating the same workout. See a professional if it’s serious. If pain and soreness persists after a week of icing, elevation, and rest, consider seeing a specialist, like a sports-medicine doctor perhaps. They may prescribe anti-inflammatory pills (or the equivalent in a shot), or send you to a physical therapist. A physical therapist will first try to identify the source of the injury, and give you stretches and corrective exercises to help improve strength and encourage recovery. 

SQUEEZING OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT JUICING WITH THANKSGIVING AROUND THE BEND, A LITTLE CUTTING BACK CAN’T HURT, RIGHT? O’Brien Gunn AS A RESIDENT OF THE HEALTH-CONSCIOUS CITY OF DENVER, you’ve more than likely heard about juicing. What you might not be so keen on is the exact definition of juicing, the benefits, and whether or not you should rush out and buy yourself a juicer or wait for the next great health trend. With holiday weight rushing to greet us, take a preemptive measure and get the blender ready. Breakin’ It Down Like a Juicy Fraction Juicing is a process where you take the natural minerals, vitamins, antioxidants, phytonutrients, and liquids from raw fruits and vegetables and get rid of the solid matter until you’re left with only a batch of fresh juice. But is it a fad? One of the reasons you may be hesitant about juicing is you don’t want to waste your time and money on something that’ll fade from popularity a few months (or years) down the line. The truth of the juicing matter is that it depends on what you’re looking to get out of it. You don’t have to become a hardcore juicier who only

drinks brightly-colored concoctions morning, noon, and night. Instead, you can juice when you first wake up in the morning, whenever you need energy, or as part of your regular meals. As far as the detox/cleansing aspect, the human body is already naturally designed to get rid of harmful toxins with the help of your colon, kidneys, and liver. How should I start? It’s a good idea to talk with your doctor to see if juicing is right for you. Diabetics, those with nutritional deficiencies, and anyone going through chemotherapy should stick to eating their fruits and veggies rather than drinking them. To keep from throwing your blood-sugar levels out of whack while juicing, it’s recommended that you drink more vegetables than you do fruits. Sounds good. What should I get? There are a few ingredients in particular that you can add to make your creations taste better, including ginger, beets, starfruit, kale, mint, and cinnamon. If you’re thinking about giving it a try, it’s best that you only do so for a short while. As with alcoholic drinking, healthy (fruits/veggies) drinking is best done in moderation.  OU T F RO N TO N L I N E .CO M | N OV E M B E R 19, 2 0 14 | 4 1

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SWING & SASS O N T HE H I G H S EAS : “AN YT H ING GO ES” Jerry Cunningham “ANYTHING GOES” IS A WONDERFUL EXAMPLE OF CLASSIC MUSICAL THEATER, complete with tap numbers, campy gags, mistaken identities, dubious happy endings, and foot-tapping music that will have you humming to yourself as you leave Town Hall Arts Center, one of metro Denver’s long-standing theatrical venues. Aboard the luxury ocean liner S.S. American, passengers and crew alike sing and dance their way across the Atlantic from New York to England — directed by Denver-native favorite, Nick Sugar and co-choreographed with Kelly Kates. This dynamicduo seems to always add that something special to THAC productions and this version of “Anything Goes” is no different — a fresh take on an old classic. Musical Director Donna Debreceni, along with her gifted gang of “canine-comic” musicians, brings to life all the great songs that prove Cole Porter is a true genius of musical theater. A few standout

numbers include “Friendship,” “Blow, Gabriel, Blow,” “Goodbye, Little Dream, Goodbye,” “The Gypsy in Me,” and of course the title song “Anything Goes.” On board, Reno Sweeney, played by the captivating Norrell Moore, is an evangelizing nightclub singer who plays Cupid for friend and stowaway Billy Crocker (Zach Stailey). Billy has stowed away to be near his love, Hope Harcourt, played by the accomplished Alison Mueller. Trouble is, her mother, Mrs. Harcourt (Judith Wyatt) is oblivious to Billy’s affection and insists Hope marry the wealthy Lord Evelyn Oakleigh (Robert Janzen), to whom she is already engaged. Together, aboard this zany love boat, are Moonface Martin, a wanna-be gangster, played by canny Mark Shonsey, and his sidekick-in-crime Erma (Ellen Kaye). With the help of some elaborate disguises, tap-dancing sailors, head-turning showgirls, and good old-fashioned blackmail, Reno and Martin join forces to help Billy in his quest to win Hope’s heart.

NORRELL MOORE & ZACH STAILEY

In downtown Littleton Colorado, on an innovatively designed luxury ocean liner, anything goes this holiday season! Catch “Anything Goes” now showing through Dec. 28. Tickets at TownHallArtsCenter.org. Catch the trailer at bit.ly/AnythingGoes2014.

DOLLS WITH BALLS BINGO Dolls with Balls Bingo took center stage at Hamburger Mary’s on Nov. 5. The event featured host Alexandra Winters, Victoria Sexton, Lacey Fauxx Vanderpump, SVEDKA drink specials, lots of fun, and plenty of frivolity. The little soiree is held every week and is a great way to work through those mid-week doldrums. See more photos at outfrontonline.com | Photos by Charles Broshous

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EL POTRERO The gin joint was jumping on Nov. 8, as a capacity crowd packed El Potrero, the hottest Latin gay nightclub in the metro area. Located at 4501 E. Virginia Avenue in Glendale, El Potrero is the place to be for real Spanish music, hot Latino men, and sultry Latino queens. El Potrero is open Wednesday through Sunday from 9pm to 2am. See more photos at outfrontonline.com | Photos by Charles Broshous

ASK THE SEXPERT

Come on! Dear Shanna,

What’s the big deal with dudes wanting to cum on their partners? Is this a cultural thing, something created by the porn industry, or do people actually like it?

Dear Uneager for Ejaculate, To cum ... or not to cum. That is the question. Actually, the question is more of WHERE to cum or ejaculate, rather than whether or not to do it. Good question. Firstly, not all guys (straight, gay, bi, or queer) enjoy ejaculating on their partners. Everyone has their own preferences — some folks like to be inside one of the many orifices that may be available, while others are all about the love in a glove, and only ejaculate inside condoms. Still, others have their own dedicate towel or rag that serves no other purpose than to act as a semen receptacle; a cum rag or cum cloth, if you will. Some prefer to do it inside their partner, and/ or inside a condom. Of course, there are others who like to climax all over themselves, leaving their partner out of the equation. It simply depends on the guy you’re talking about. In mainstream, heterosexual-focused pornography, the “cum shot” (the straight-appearing dude ejaculating all over some combination of the woman’s chest, face, butt, back, etc.) has become extremely run of the mill in most movies, and this means it’s become popular in many facets of culture (including a presence in songs). That being said, the actual act If someone wants of climaxing on someone else’s to have hot cum spurted face/chest/butt/etc. doesn’t inout all over their body, herently change the sensation of ejaculation. What does that then power to them and mean? If someone wants to they should celebrate that have hot cum spurted out all delicious concoction. over their body, then power to them and they should celebrate that delicious concoction. More importantly, they should let their partner know that this activity turns them on and that they’d like to have that done to them. On the other hand, if someone is not into having cum on their body, they should also have a little chat with their partner and explain that they are not into this activity. Then the partner will know they would prefer for them to ejaculate elsewhere, and can then do just that. Reminder: These are the types of conversations that should definitely happen before sexual play gets going, so there is no confusion at the moment of no return as to where the penis should be pointing in order to meet everyone’s wants and needs. Best of luck!

Shanna

Have a question you’d like to ask Shanna (anonymously)? Email shannakatz@gmail.com. Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a board-certified sexologist, sexuality educator, and author who believes in open source, accessible sexuality education. See more columns at ofcnow.co/sexpert or for more info on teaching adults to optimize their sex lives visit ShannaKatz.com. 4 4 | N OV E M B E R 19, 2 0 14 | OU T F RO N TO N L I N E .CO M

PHOTO: CHRISTINA GRESSIANU

Uneager for Ejaculate, Denver.

SAM E-SE X M A I L- O R D E R H US BAN DS / B RI DES? One word answer: Maybe. Pieter Tolsma MARRIAGE EQUALITY COMES PACKED WITH PERKS for couples. I’ve already received three wedding invitations for same-sex weddings next year and let me tell you, they’re all that kind of well-executed adorable that makes you feel warm all over. This begs the important question: Where is my hot slice of domestic bliss? Everyone else is looking like tasteful gay sepia-tone Hallmark cards! (And you all know you better start shopping now, because whatever you buy for them has to be imported and amazing.) While you are looking desperately around online for hand-etched, sterling silver expensiveness, maybe you should check out something special for yourself. That’s right, lonely hearts. There is something new to put in your online shopping cart: a mailorder spouse. While Amazon may not feature it yet, it definitely exists and he or she is just a few clicks (and a whole lot of money and paperwork) away. The repeal of DOMA means that same-sex couples can appeal for visas for spouses just like all the straight folks do. In other words, the buffet table is open, so go ahead and grab a plate. Of course there are a few practical concerns. First off, it would probably be nice if they actually loved you if are planning to marry them, but if you get them over here and it’s more Lifetime Channel drama than the Hallmark Channel bliss you wanted, you get a do over! You qualify for two fiancé(e) visas over the course of your lifetime, so dust yourself off and get back in the

game! There are plenty more strangers where that one came from! There are a few other things to be aware of as well. As an American citizen, you are privy to quite a few benefits that others in more vulnerable parts of the world only dream about. The reason why the industry works is because you are leveraging your citizenship and economic benefit to help the disadvantage and political hardship of others. Most “mail order” brides or grooms are from countries of poverty and political unrest and are desperately looking for a way to escape, even if it means marrying an American stranger to get away. Even cursory research into the industry shows that it relies on the desperate and inhospitable living situations of origin countries as incentive. LGBT rights are often nonexistent as well, which only adds to their desire to get away. Fear not! There are some great possibilities! Perhaps you could avoid the puppy-mill model of spouse-shopping and just go over and find a lovely partner in person and take in some culture at the same time. This is an option too and it cuts out the intermediary. Traveling abroad can take on a more long-term possibility because you can now potentially marry and bring back your love interests. Keep in mind you need to remain married for two years or they will lose their residency privileges and will be sent back. While you’re scouring around for vintage-this and one-of-a-kind-that gifts for all those beautiful brides and grooms, perhaps you could lighten the mood and plan a trip for yourself. I hear the Czech Republic is beautiful at Christmas time. 

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