OFM's Ask a Coach with Ingomu

Welcome to Ask a Coach, where Ingomu coaches answer your questions about life, work, wellness, or matters of the soul. Share your question with us at coaches@ingomu.com, and we’ll answer them here.

I've been single for quite some time. I want to get back out there. Are dating apps acceptable and safe?

-Theo S.

Dating apps are generally acceptable and safe, but it's important to use caution and practice safe online dating habits.

Here are some tips to help you stay safe and connect with people you may want to meet:

1. Research the app: Make sure the dating app you're using is reputable and has great reviews. Does the dating app feature the types of people you want to meet?

2. Decide if you like the more superficial swiping left/right type apps, or apps that encourage more detailed profiles so you get to know the person better.

3. Write a compelling profile sharing what is important to you in a relationship and what you are seeking in a partner. Be authentic!

4. Keep your personal information private: Don't share personal information such as your full name, address, or financial information with anyone you don't know well.

5. Be cautious about meeting in person: Take your time getting to know someone before meeting them in person, and be sure to meet in a public place for the first few dates. Rather than chatting through an app, have a call, Facetime, or Zoom prior to meeting in person.

6. To avoid awkwardness when first meeting (if you haven’t had a face to face call) ask the person you are chatting with which profile picture most closely matches their real-life appearance.

7. Trust your instincts: If something feels off, or you're uncomfortable, don't hesitate to end the conversation or block the person

8. Report any suspicious behavior: If someone on a dating app is harassing you, sending you unsolicited messages, or asking for personal information, report them to the app's moderators.

Remember, it's always better to be cautious and safe than to put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation. However, I did meet my husband through a dating app, and we couldn’t be happier.

- Coach Werner Godefroid

I am out with my family and friends, and have been married for about three years. I have a new job in a somewhat conservative environment. My colleagues know I am married but assume it's to a man. I tend to keep my work and personal life separate, but I don’t want to be inauthentic. How do I navigate this?

-Anna J.

Navigating the intersection of your personal and professional lives can be challenging, especially when you're in an environment where your colleagues may not be aware of or accepting of your sexual orientation. Here are some steps you can take to help you navigate this situation:

Consider your safety first. It's important to prioritize your own safety and wellbeing in any situation. If you feel that being open about your sexual orientation could put you in danger, it may be best to keep that aspect of your personal life private.

Get a sense of the workplace culture and any existing policies related to diversity and inclusion. This can help you gauge how open and accepting your colleagues may be, and inform your decision about whether or not to come out.

Coming out at work can have positive and negative effects on your career. On one hand, it can lead to greater authenticity and increased support from colleagues who may become allies. On the other hand, it may also lead to discrimination or bias. Weigh the potential outcomes before making a decision.

Ultimately, the decision about whether or not to come out at work is a personal one and should be based on what feels right for you. If you feel comfortable and confident in your decision to come out, you can approach your colleagues in a way that feels authentic to you. Some of your colleagues may be accepting and supportive, while others may not be. Be prepared for a range of reactions and be ready to handle any negative responses in a way that feels safe and comfortable for you.

It's important to remember that you have the right to keep your personal life private, and to only share information that you feel comfortable sharing. By taking the time to assess the situation and consider your own needs and feelings, you can make a decision that feels right for you.

- Al Wynant, Ingomu CEO

Here at Ingomu, we uplift humankind by making a positive difference in the lives of many. Via the Ingomu app, we provide holistic and equitable coaching in the areas of life, soul, wellness, and work. Coaching for everyone because everyone matters.

Learn more at OFM.ingomu.com.