CO LO R A D O'S LG B TQ M AGA ZINE | F R E E
PATTIE GONIA • TWO SPIRIT • EVERLAND ART PARK
CONTENTS JULY 22, 2020 VOL44 NO8
BUILDING BRIDGES AND BREAKING THE GENDER BINARY: INDIGENOUS, TWO-SPIRIT IDENTITIES TOP 10 TIPS FOR QUEERY GOOD CAMPING WALK A MILE IN THESE HEELS: NATURE ADVOCATE AND DRAG QUEEN PATTIE GONIA
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THE MOUNTAINS HOLD NO JUDGEMENT FIND YOURSELF WITH EVERLAND ART PARK LOST AND FOUND
RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE
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SERVING THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS SINCE 1976 PHONE 303-477-4000 FAX 303-325-2642 WEB OutFrontMagazine.com FACEBOOK /OutFrontColorado TWITTER @OutFrontCO INSTAGRAM /OutFrontColorado FOUNDER PHIL PRICE 1954-1993 ADMINISTRATION info@outfrontmagazine.com JERRY CUNNINGHAM Publisher J.C. MCDONALD Vice President MAGGIE PHILLIPS Associate Publisher JEFF JACKSON SWAIM Chief Strategist EDITORIAL editorial@outfrontmagazine.com ADDISON HERRON-WHEELER Editor VERONICA L. HOLYFIELD Creative Director KEEGAN WILLIAMS Copy Editor BRENT HEINZE Senior Columnist DENNY PATTERSON Celebrity Interviewer INTERNS: Apollo Blue, Arianna Balderrama, Izzy Yellin, Justine Johnson, Ray Manzari, Sadie Cheney WRITERS: Christopher La Fleur, Eliza Beth Whittington, Molly McCormick ART art@outfrontmagazine.com DESIGN2PRO Graphic Designer COVER DESIGN Veronica L. Holyfield CONTRIBUTING ARTIST Molly McCormick COVER PHOTO Provided by Pattie Gonia MARKETING + SALES marketing@outfrontmagazine.com BENJAMIN YOUNG Director of Sales & Marketing QUINCEY ROISUM Senior Marketing Executive KELSEY ELGIE DOMIER Busines Developement Executive KAYTE DEMONT Digital Sales Executive
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RESERVATION OF RIGHTS Q Publishing Group, LTD is the owner of all right, title, and interest in the OUT FRONT brand and logo. No person or entity may reproduce or use (or authorize the reproduction or use of) the OUT FRONT brand and logo in any manner other than expressly authorized by Q Publishing Group. Unauthorized use of the OUT FRONT brand and logo is strictly prohibited. OUT FRONT is published by Q Publishing, Ltd., a Colorado corporation and is a member of: the National Equality Publishers Association and Colorado LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce.
O U T F R O N T M A G A Z I N E . C O M // 5
FROM THE EDITOR
Y
ou know the expression “I’m an indoor cat,” but for people? That applies to me. I am chubby, pale, and I don’t go outside without a parasol, shades, and sunblock. I am NOT your typical, buff and tan Coloradan constantly climbing 14ers. But, despite being an indoor cat, nothing humbles me like the amazing scenery in Colorado. I was lucky enough to have lived in Colorado Springs and Evergreen for a little while, and although I love living and working in the city, I miss it all the time. Sometimes, it’s easy to feel disconnected from nature as a queer person. If you’re all about
city life, it’s easy to just look at the mountains as pretty, distant scenery. But remember, the Indigenous people who first claimed this land were drawn to its beauty, and the least we can do is love and respect it. Conservation is tied to human rights, as those with the least privileges are usually also the most impacted by pollution and environmental turmoil. In short, love the Earth the way you love yourself and your queer siblings. Embrace the mountains and embrace social justice and needed change. They go hand-in-hand. This issue celebrates nature, Indigenous people, and the communities that lie off of the beaten path. We hope you’ll come along with us, and then we hope you’ll get out there and enjoy some beautiful, Colorado nature. -Addison Herron-Wheeler
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If COVID-19 has you bummed out and craving a juicy burger, look no further than the new Burger Garden at Denver’s favorite burger joint,
The Cherry Cricket.
Nestled in the heart of Cherry Creek North, you don’t have to go bougie to be a boss in one of Denver’s choicest neighborhoods. The expanded, outdoor seating options at the new Burger Garden make it even easier to social distance while still getting your grub ‘n’ sip on. The space offers four, outdoor seating spaces, making outdoor dining more accessible than ever. Marketing Director Alex Bunn says they created the Burger Garden
so that “more people could get their Cricket favorites this summer and feel safe doing it.”
summer blues away in the sunny new Burger Garden or in the heart of downtown.
There is also new, outdoor seating at the Cherry Cricket Ballpark location downtown, which also offers the same menu and delicious drinks, as well as the famous, boozy shakes.
So, if you want the best burgers in Denver served up with a sit-down-and-enjoy attitude in the heart of either Cherry Creek North or Ballpark downtown, don’t look any further than The Cherry Cricket. Burgers. Beers. Boozy Shakes. Sunshine. What's not to like?
Denver’s favorite spot for build-your-own burgers since 1945, as well as badass milkshakes made boozy, chase all your
For more information, visit cherrycricket.com.
your community needs you
COMPLETE THE CENSUS TODAY! Visit AuroraCensus2020.org or call 1.844.330.2020
O U T F R O N T M A G A Z I N E . C O M // 7
BUILDING BRIDGES AND BREAKING THE GENDER BINARY INDIGENOUS, TWO-SPIRIT IDENTITIES by Veronica L. Holyfield
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I
t all begins with smudging. Before entering ceremony, the tradition of smudging in Indigenous and Native communities is a form of purifying or cleansing yourself with sacred herbs and preparing your heart for connection. David Maes, who lives here in Colorado, is an elder in the Native community, and with the guidance of medicine man, revered community member, and Caddo/Comanche elder Thompson Williams, based out of Oklahoma, is preparing for a Talking Circle.
First and foremost, the expectation is that of respect. No crosstalk was permitted in this Talking Circle, and there was no scheduled end. Those in the circle tenderly share whatever they feel called to speak about in the moment, and every voice is upheld and valued. Being led by their hearts, their minds are free to wander through stories and experiences freely as they share stories and effortlessly relate back to the topic at hand. It is unrushed, graceful, unifying, and humbling.
The purpose of the Talking Circle on this evening is to provide a safe and comfortable space for four Indigenous, Two Spirit individuals while honoring the spiritual format of group discussion. By exploring what this identity means to each individual, we will discover how incredibly unique and interestingly universal their experiences are.
Myself and OUT FRONT editor Addison Herron-Wheeler were invited into this particular Talking Circle as an extremely generous gift of education on the topic of Two Spirit and LGBTQ identities within Native communities. Through video conferencing, the seven of us engaged in the cherished tradition as a way of honoring their voices and providing a platform for them all to represent their own truths.
Yet, before entering the virtual Talking Circle, each person takes a moment to cleanse away stressful energy, release any stored negativity, and set intention for this sacred space. Traditions and ceremonies are the spiritual foundation within Native and Indigenous cultures; that is what creation stories, societal norms, and entire belief systems are based upon. While every community approaches the nature of ceremony in varying ways from their own spiritual leaders, the traditions honor space, time, and presence of being.
Elder Williams begins the conversation by explaining to us his allyship with the Two Spirit Society and how it began during his time here in Denver during Pride when Williams was asked to perform a prayer. “One of the things I wanted to make sure we did was to have a prayer for individuals in the society so that they knew they were always in my heart, and they are in the hearts of people in the community,� he explains. Then leading us through a prayer for understanding and guidance through the
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conversation, this is a divine invitation to us outsiders who are taking space in their sanctified realm. From initial smudging all the way through the final prayer, the entire experience was a blessing.
and express the umbrella of the Two Spirit label differs. For Goldtooth, expression of Two Spirit derives varying responses from people inside and outside of his traditional, Navajo community.
TWO SPIRIT
Goldtooth works in construction, and while he considers himself to be masculinepresenting at work, he is often referred to as she/her by coworkers. Finding no fault through any misgendering, he in fact invites the fluid gender perception and willingly chooses not to correct people.
Simply defined, Two Spirit is a modern, Indigenous identity in which a person embraces both masculine and feminine spirits and genders, a fluidity through navigating the spiritual realm and cultural roles as well as a queering of gender binary. The English term ‘nonbinary’ at best may serve as a resemblance of the Two Spirit identity in Native cultures, and yet still is not close enough, as it is rooted in the colonialized concept of LGBTQ identities and less in the spiritual sense of life exploration. “In our community, we come from various, different tribes, various, different cultures, and various different offerings of life,” explains Travis Goldtooth, who goes by the name Buffalo Barbie and has earned the title of Miss Montana Two Spirit. “How you carry yourself and how you uphold yourself means a lot as a Two Spirit person because you're a medicine to the community.” Goldtooth elaborates, “Your words have power; your words have strength; your words and actions can either build a bridge or tear it down.” The way to describe the Two Spiritness of spirituality, gender, or sexual identity is complex, intricate, and innately personal. This identity is not a universal term for every Indigenous language, nor is it how every gender-variant Native person identifies. Just as varying as those who identify within the LGBTQ community, Two-Spirit people are incredibly diverse in how they relate to and differ from one another. “It's kind of rare between the Navajos to use the word Two Spirit because that is actually a blanket term from the Ojibwe, but that is today's terminology for our LGBT community,” Travis explains. “As Navajos, we have eight gender identifications.” In addition to how the terminology varies between different Native and Indigenous peoples, how they embrace, understand,
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“I’ve always been taught that (gender is) in the eye of the beholder, and when you correct the person of who you are and how they see you, then you lose a bit of your medicine, or the identity that you’re trying to be. From there on, after you have corrected the projection of how they see; then from there on, you’re supposed to carry that identity at all times within that person’s sight,” Goldtooth explains. Within the nonbinary and transgender communities, being misgendered is not only hurtful and offensive but can be retraumatizing. For some Two Spirit people, like Goldtooth, the terms used in their Native languages are much more vast and descriptive and live well outside the binary limits. Embracing the fluidity is where Goldtooth finds strength. “You need to be aware that you are always an object to be criticized, but also you're also an object to be looked upon for directions. Even just the sight of you has so much meaning, has so much medicine, has so much empowerment,” Goldtooth says.
SPIRITUAL GIFTS As a medicine person, Williams is an admired healer and spiritual leader inside his community. In many Native and Indigenous groups, the medicine person is held with the utmost regard and respect, and so to have the blessing of the Two Spirit Society and those within it from someone as revered as Williams, that carries power. “Never allow anybody to tell you you're wrong in who you are,” Williams says during the Talking Circle. “Always look at yourself and say, ‘I am this beautiful person.’
The creator created me, so that makes me important. Each person is gifted and brings certain gifts to the world, and we have to give them a chance to express those gifts.” Alvin Chee describes that by virtue of being Two Spirit, he is able to better advocate for holistic healing practices through compassion and a greater, spiritual connectedness that drives his work. He talks of how his identity has led him to his career as an HIV medical case manager at The Grand Rapids Red Project in Michigan. “I feel that, for me, being Two Spirit, there's a responsibility to it,” Che emphasizes. “I kind of fell into that role, but it was such a wonderful, honorable role because my sacred deity is a Changing Woman. I’m already connected to this beautiful deity, and maybe I do have some sort of power to insert into the world, some sort of force that if I tried and dedicated time and energy to it, I could make some impactful change.” As a way of providing context for us who are outsiders to the well-known, Two-Spirit story of his tribe, Chee tells us of a gender war that divided the women from the men by a river. The story goes that whomever was to cross the river would be proven to be the greater sex, yet for years and years, no one crossed the river. The male and female genders used the river as a divide to stay apart with an understanding that should one gender cave to the pressure of not receiving the support of the other, then the gender that lasted the longest without caving was the greater sex. A new responsibility of those Two-Spirit individuals had developed in order to meet the needs of their sides, so there was no reason for the genders to rejoin. As time went on, however, the Two-Spirit people understood that the tribe would not continue in this way of separation, and it was then the Two Spirit people who brought these two genders back together. In a lot of ways, Che found his own Two Spirit identity in that story, as he has become more developed in his career. “I love the work that I do, and every job I’ve ever had has been one form or another
advocating and helping people, those people who were underrepresented, forgotten, left out when policies were written,” he says. While Che has had familial conflict in the past due to his being gay, it is through the adversity that he finds his empowerment, his courage to advocate for others, and ultimately solidifies his belief in his own spiritual and physical gifts. “My dad, a medicine man, called me a TwoSpirit person, and he said it's needed in this world. It feels so good when someone says you're needed in the world, when the world doesn't seem like they want you there. It meant a lot to me; it kind of shaped the way I viewed the world after that,” Che reveals.
INTERSECTIONS “I realized pretty early on that somewhere inside of me spiritually there was some nonbinary-ness,” explains Tezcatli Diaz. “I'm very, very femme-forward; I claim my femininity and my womanhood with pride and dignity, but at the same time, how I present on the outside isn't in full alignment with how I feel inside.” For Diaz, who works for the youth leadership development organization Project VOYCE, her identities lie along a complex, intersectional spectrum. Identifying as a queer, Afro-Latina, Indigenous woman, and also being Mexica, a culture that does not include two-spiritness, as well as being raised with Lakota ideals, she says it is those intersections that inform how she moves through her work, through her parenting, and how she navigates the world. Unlike Che, her Two Spirit and bisexual identities were not ones that she struggled to accept about herself and express to her friends and family members. “I was probably a teenager when I realized that I didn't just like boys, and that I liked girls too, and it didn't feel like a secret to me. I didn't feel like there was a coming out that needed to happen for me,” Diaz tells the group. “There was some deep guilt after being raised in a world where queer youth are so closeted. Growing up with stories of Matthew Shepard on the news,
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I just didn't understand how hard it was for folks to navigate identity and sexuality the way I understood it from the Lakota community.” Yet, Diaz says she fumbled around for a long time, not knowing how to show up in queer spaces or spiritual spaces, until she had a conversation with her deceased mother’s good friend around the time of Standing Rock. “She’s like, ‘It doesn't matter what's between your legs; it doesn't matter what is your sexual preference; it's about what's in the spirit. You're telling me that you've got these female and masculine energies, living and existing within you; that’s Two Spiritedness.’ It was like a light bulb went off.” Though each individual describes their personal connection to identifying as Two Spirit differently, a common thread begins to weave a connection through the cloth of their experiences: they are bridge-builders in their communities. “In my life, I've always been called the mediator, the mother in the group. The one always trying to heal relationships, the one that's always trying to find connections that nobody else sees,” she explains. “I see synapses in my brain just firing and connecting things that don't off the surface seem like they make sense, but spiritually, they do for me. And so I try really hard to establish those connections.” The shared emotion within the Two Spirit community is one of deep empathy, a connectedness to compassion in which Diaz believes to be the route in which Two Spirit folks can build those necessary bridges.
SPECIALNESS “I remember when I was a child, my mom would tell me that since the first time she held me in her arms, I was special. She would repeat that as I was growing up, and I never knew what that meant,” Maes says with reminiscence in his voice as he speaks into the small camera atop his laptop. The Talking Circle is now entering its third hour of sharing, and the intimacy; openness, and vulnerability of the group is no less powerful than it was at the smudging. The sacred stories that flow so freely from the
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lips of these beautiful, Two-Spirit souls transcends any barriers due to virtual communication and social distancing. “I never felt like I was in any box or in any group; I always felt like I was outside of everything,” Maes continues. “I always knew I was different, and I always felt rejected. When I heard about Two Spirit, it all came together; my whole life came together.” Feeling like he is neither spiritually male nor female, he describes himself as having more masculine energy than feminine energy, and the opportunity to have another option that incorporates more of his spiritual gender provides Maes with something that feels intrinsically authentic. “It represents my sacred center, that center of my true self, my higher self. The essence of who I am, where I'm one with creator,” he says with a sure delivery of internal peace. Admitting that identifying as queer, or anything that falls under the LGBTQ umbrella, doesn’t feel truly accurate to his experience, Two Spirit envelopes something much larger than sexual attraction or gender expression. It is down to the core and essence of who he is. As bridge-builders, the connecting force between mediating not only the world of gender understanding but also being a conduit between Mother Nature, Father Sky, and all the creatures and spiritualities that roam the in-betweens, is as close to a “definition” of Two Spirit as we are likely to get, and we are honored to have gotten it.
In Partnership with:
coloradohealthnetwork.org/contact-us O U T F R O N T M A G A Z I N E . C O M // 1 3
TOP
10 TIPS
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FOR QUEERY GOOD CAMPING Words and photos by Molly McCormick
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e can’t all be masters of the trail, but we can all learn and join in! Here are a few, not-so-straight tips for how to have a fabulous time outside, regardless of ability and skill level.
Pick your campsite and location ahead of time. As a wildlife and nature photographer, there are plenty of times I “wing it” and let the adventure come to me as I go. However, when it comes to my sleep, there’s just some things I don’t mess with. (My fiancé can attest to this; if I don’t get at least five hours of decent sleep, she puts me in the dog house.) I try to always plan ahead. Do I want to stay in a reservation-only site? A firstcome, first-served? Are dogs allowed? Is their access to water? Is it BLM (Bureau of Land Management) land? There are a lot of questions that need to be answered before I put my tent up. There’s really nothing worse than arriving at your destination late and not having a spot to sleep.
Make sure you bring the right equipment, and no, I’m not talking about White Claws. 1 4 \\ J U L Y 2 2 , 2 0 2 0
Do you have a tent? Do you have a sleeping bag? Do you have a sleeping pad? Does your tent have a footprint? Do you have some sort of water filtration system? Have you tried out your equipment? Is it comfortable?
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A dear friend of mine worked at a rafting company one summer and needed a tent to camp for two months; we decided to pick one up at Walgreens on the way up to Buena Vista. A tent is a tent, right? WRONG! The thing disintegrated in the sun after about three weeks.
Not to plug myself, but I also work at REI; come visit us, and we can set you up with what you need ... and don’t buy tents from Walgreens.
Make sure you invest in comfortable, reliable, and dependable equipment.
its beautiful mountains, ever-flowing microbrews, and insanely unpredictable
Bring an extra day’s worth of food, water, and extra layers of clothing. Colorado is known for
weather. One day it’s 80 and sunny; the next, it’s snowing. Maybe you leave in the morning for a hike, and by the time you get back to your tent, a storm rolls in. As Scar from Lion King always says, “Be preeeeepared!” Pack snacks that you enjoy eating; make sure you have extra water or a way to filter water if that’s your jam. Bring extra socks, warm layers, cool layers, and a hat and gloves. I always have an extra pair of warm socks in the bottom of my sleeping bag; they live there. That way, if the pair I’m wearing gets wet or dirty, I have a nice, clean pair to throw on before bed. If it gets super cold, you can boil water, toss it in a Nalgene, and toss the Nalgene in the bottom of your sleeping bag. Boom! Instant heater.
Eatin’ good! Did you know you can camp and eat like the true queen that you are? I love dehydrated food, but after day three or four, I want a little more variety. I’m a huge fan of car camping. Why, you ask? Because you have a ton of control over what to cook up in the camp kitchen. You can have a field day meal prepping for a good car camping trip. Open up Google on your device; type in “great camp cooking recipes,” and be prepared to have your mind, and stomach, blown. Car camping also allows you to bring a cooler or two to keep your produce fresh. You can still eat gourmet meals while backpacking; it just takes a little more preparation and fine-tuning. One of my favorite backpacking meals is “Backpacker’s Thanksgiving Feast.” You can find the recipe at freshoffthegrid.com, or linked to this story online at oufrontmagazine.com.
Pack in, pack out. Don’t be the person who leaves all your trash at your site. I repeat, do not be that person. This is incredibly important and an absolute must not only when you camp but when you do any activity outdoors. One thing I always have in my backpack is a garbage bag or two; they make great ponchos, and that way, I always know there’s somewhere to put my trash. You want to leave the site exactly how you found it, assuming it was clean as a whistle when you arrived.
Keep an eye on fire bans and fire restrictions. If you’re anything like me, you love a good campfire, but you
love s’mores even more. As I mentioned previously, Colorado weather can throw you for a loop. When you are researching spots to camp, make sure you find out what the current restrictions (if any) are for campfires. Were you planning on boiling water for your dehydrated meal? Well, you may be SOL if you can’t have a fire. Fires aren’t just great entertainment while camping; they also provide heat, can deter unwanted animal friends, and are used as a fuel source. Also, make sure your fire is completely out before you leave to do anything. Only you can prevent forest fires.
Bear spray?? But bears are so cute! Yes, bears are cute, especially at Denver Sweet. Knock on wood, I have yet to encounter any serious bear issues while camping. That doesn’t mean I don’t carry bear spray with me; it’s a must in my pack. It’s way better to be over-prepared than under-prepared. I also do a lot of solo camping, mainly because my fiancé doesn’t like sitting around for hours on end waiting for animals to “maybe” appear, which means I like to be extra vigilant on safety measures. Unfortunately, we live in a world where we don’t just have to worry about bears; people can be a threat as well. A little bear spray to the face of a creeper, and you’re good to go.
Bring a first-aid kit; safety is sexy! Nothing gets me going like a DIY first-aid kit. Hold your comments, and don’t knock it till you try it. This is another must-have in my pack. There’s a great list of 10 essentials I love sharing with my fellow outdoorsbians. A first-aid kit is one of them, and the neat thing about building your own is, you can cater it to your individual needs. I always get blisters, so I make sure I have a little extra mole skin and Band-Aids. I also have a digestive system that literally hates me; therefore, I bring copious amounts of Tums and medications I know I will always want on hand. You can purchase first-aid kits, but if you make one yourself, you can easily restock it with bulk items; it’s cheaper, more fun, and it makes you look like Macgyver, which is a definite win.
Hydrating is cool! Literally. Have you
It’s about as fun as an intimate dinner with Donald Trump. When planning for your camping adventure, make sure you have water, water, and more water. There are numerous water filtration systems out there that work just fine. My personal preference for backpacking is the Sawyer water filter (pro tip: they work great on a Smart Water water bottle). If I’m going balls-to-the-wall glamping, I love the Katadyn Gravity BeFree filter. There’s a ton of options, all depending on what your situation is and what you’re expecting. The most important thing is, making sure you are hydrated, especially when changing elevation, and we all know altitude is kind of a big deal in Colorado. It’s yuuuuuuuuuge. (See what I did there?)
The Ten Essentials Theeeeese are a few of my favvvvvorite things! Man, I wish Julie Andrews would come camping with me. Any way, the last piece of advice I’d like to share with you is the lovely list of 10 essentials you should consider bringing. They are as follows: 1.Navigation (map, compass, personal locator beacon): Please remember, smartphones are great, but they aren’t so smart or great when they die on you and you’re in the middle of The Hills Have Eyes territory. 2.Headlamp (with extra batteries) 3.Sun protection (sun block, sunglasses) 4.First-aid kit (oOoOo talk dirty to me.) 5.Knife (this is optional, but never a bad thing to have, or some sort of multi-tool) 6.Fire starter swag (matches, lighter, tinder, and no, I’m not talking about the app.) 7.Emergency shelter (I love a good bivy; if you don’t know what that is, I challenge you to Google.) 8.Extra food 9.Extra water 10.Extra clothes
ever experienced severe dehydration? O U T F R O N T M A G A Z I N E . C O M // 1 5
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Walk a Mile in These Heels
Nature Advocate and Drag Queen Pattie Gonia by Denny Patterson Photos provided by Pattie Gonia
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he next time you take a hike through the mountains, try doing it in six-inch heels. Think that’s crazy? Pattie Gonia doesn’t.
As the world’s first backpacking queen, Pattie Gonia is the drag persona of professional photographer Wyn Wiley. What started as a fun side project evolved into a passionate art form that allowed Wiley to explore all sides of gender expression. When Pattie made her debut on Instagram in October 2018, she gained more than 30,000 followers within a month. Pattie’s ultimate goal is to celebrate diversity in the outdoors and promote inclusion. She hopes to inspire people to spend more time outside, particularly those who have historically been excluded from the outdoor community, including LGBTQ people, people of color, and plus-sized folks. Pattie looks forward to expanding her community. OUT FRONT had the opportunity to talk more with Pattie about her nature advocacy, inspiring others with her platform, and strutting up the mountain in her signature heels.
Hi, Pattie! Thank you for taking the time to chat with me. For those who are unfamiliar, who is Pattie Gonia, and what is her mission? Ah, what a great question. Pattie Gonia is, honestly, just a beautiful home for all of my creativity, but I think it most shows up as my love for the outdoors, my love for drag, and my love of making things in general. Pattie’s mission, I think at the end of the day, is to get every person outside and to make everyone feel as welcome outside so we realize what a beautiful world we have and how much Mother Nature deserves to be protected.
How did you get the idea to create this persona? Pure accident. Literally, sometimes life sweeps you up, and you have the chance to make it what you need it to be, and I think I very much didn’t know how much I needed Pattie in my life. I am, in a way, very grateful to be her, but also in a weird, abstract way, just grateful to fill her boots.
Why did you choose an outdoorsy platform? I want my drag to be intersectional with my life, and I really care about the outdoors, advocacy work, being the best ally I can be. So, it seemed like a no-brainer to combine everything I am passionate about and to channel it through the art form of drag.
Have you always had a passion for environmentalism? I have always had a love and appreciation for the outdoors, but I think my environmental advocacy and allyship has grown exponentially since putting on my boots as Pattie.
People know Pattie Gonia as a backpacking queen who hikes in heels. How is that even possible? I can barely hike wearing normal tennis shoes. You know, it is, one, hard work. Two, it is crazy, but also let’s just think about what else is crazy. Like, riding a mountain bike down a mountain at 40 mph. That sh*t’s crazy. Hiking in heels, it’s not that crazy to me. 1 8 \\ J U L Y 2 2 , 2 0 2 0
What is the furthest you have hiked in heels? I would say, I don’t know. It’s never about the distance to me, so I don’t really know. I think it’s just always about putting them on at some point. I know that’s like a 'wah-wah’ answer, but I will tell you that the hardest thing I have ever hiked in is sand. Sand is so hard.
Do you have a certain or favorite pair of hiking heels? Yeah, they are just my classic, black boots. They’re, like, kind of the OG pair and kind of the only style of heel that I really wear. It provides its purposes as not having a stiletto, which definitely makes hiking easier. Definitely has a bigger heel, but I feel at home in them. They are just kind of like a symbol to myself of my femininity in the outdoors.
Why do you think Pattie has resonated with so many people? I think that Pattie has resonated with people because, to be honest, I think they see themselves in Pattie. I think that the outdoor community and the outdoor industry have needed new archetypes for a long time, and I think with Pattie, people feel seen. I think that is very important, and I think there is a lot more femininity to embrace in the outdoors.
You recently released a film called Dear Humanity, and it was selected to be featured at some prominent film festivals. How exciting is that? I can tell you that it feels totally surreal. I am very honored and excited to see queer representation happening more and more. I think I will be even more excited to see not just white, cis, male, queers represented in media, but more intersectional diversity, too. I want to see outdoor and environmental films made about queer people of color, queer Indigenous people. I want to see intersectional stories told.
Without giving too much away, can you tell us the premise of Dear Humanity? Yes. The premise is, I go to Hawaii to encounter firsthand the world’s plastic crisis and how much plastic ends up in our oceans. I experience that, then I try to take some action. I then use Pattie to create a drag performance based off of the plastic crisis.
What do you hope audiences take away from this film? I hope they take away that it is possible. So much of the time, we think of these environmental spaces as zero-waste or bust, or you have to be perfect, or it’s not worth it at all. I am here to champion until the day I break an ankle. Like, imperfection is the way, and this is not my quote, but I think we need millions of people doing less waste imperfectly and not just a handful of people doing zero-waste perfectly. So, I think the whole takeaway for me is that it’s possible to actually implement these things in your life. Once you kind of make a 1 percent change in your life, it is easy for that to snowball into a whole different life.
Why does gender and sexuality matter in the outdoors? I would take it a step further and almost say that gender fluidity and nonbinary matters in the outdoors because that is nature. I
grandiose measures, and I think what it actually looks like to welcome everyone to the outdoors is to think about inviting queer friends onto the trail. Creating a queer or a more intersectionally diverse community and putting your money where your mouth is. Supporting the outdoor leaders that are really doing this work and creating this community and knowing that you can create this community, too. I just think about all the different ways you have to highlight people. It’s not just your money; it’s your voice. Maybe it’s your job title and some of your privilege. There are so many ways that we can set your creativity, your art. So many different ways.
What more do you hope to accomplish with your platform? Honestly, I just want to keep on being curious. I do not know which way Pattie’s will lead and my life will lead, but I know that with a platform, comes the responsibility of really showing up for people and the community that exists there. I have been excited to explore what it looks like to kind of battle the ego, to kill the ego. Listen, to be really honest with you, I think that the journey with Pattie has been one of, like, trying to leave the ego as much at the door as possible so that I can remember what is important, which is people making space for everyone to be out there. I think that will be an important journey to always remember that.
What can we expect next from Pattie Gonia?
am learning so much about how queer nature is, and how much of a lack of a binary there is in nature, but how much of a binary there is in our understanding of gender and sexuality. So, I am excited to bend that every which way, just like nature does.
A lot of times, being outdoorsy is reserved for rich, white folks. How can we change that and make the outdoors more accessible? I think a pattern that I look through often when I look to do activism or to take an action as an ally is to think about, what is the next best step in my life? We think of allyship or activism as this giant, very abstract thing with these giant
Hmm, these are great questions. Well, listen, I think that at the end of the day, I am just so weird, and I am excited to reveal more of my weirdness and more of the human that I am. I think I searched for drag to be this liberation from self, and now I am encountering how much of a mask it can be. So, I think always remembering to keep it human and always remembering to mix art with community with activism. You have to remember that drag was an art form birthed in activism. I am excited to get it back there.
How can one stay up-to-date with you? You can follow me on Instagram, which is about the only social media platform I have the time and capacity for. My handle is @pattiegonia. O U T F R O N T M A G A Z I N E . C O M // 1 9
The Mountains Hold No Judgement by Eliza Beth Whittington
H
ere’s a familiar narrative—rural/ suburban-raised queer comes out, at least to themselves, in a religiously oppressed household. They flee to the nearest city and find themselves breathless with wonder and lust, starry-eyed in bitchy, bohemian bars and pulsing nightclubs. Surrounded at last by ‘their people,’ they begin the process of finding themselves in others and licking the gaping, salted scars of familial rejection in an urban enclave of like-minded hotties. We all saw that 90s movie, played by cis, straight actors, right? Some of us have been so lucky as to have the experience 2 0 \\ J U L Y 2 2 , 2 0 2 0
Photo by Molly McCormick
of moving from oppressive homes and into the protective arms of queer family. What queer can imagine moving from the safety of their urban enclave without a support system or dating prospects? Few, to be sure. But, how would we know? When, time and again, the narratives we are given from popular culture paint queerness as something that happens on catwalks and in vapid crowds of drug-addled and sex-crazed deviants? Leaf through Whitman’s Leaves of Grass, and without much imagination, one can sense the fullness of his existence, the depth of his self-love, sexuality, and
tenderness. One can almost smell the pleasant musk of manhood, the wet leather and wet grass emanating from him. Why, then, does it feel so foreign to see queerness represented in the great outdoors, when, as Whitman suggests, it is such a vital aspect of life for us? There is substantial evidence of the restorative effects of natural settings and scenery associated with a reduction of psychological distress, depressive symptoms, and that those with mental health disorders exposed to natural, not built, environments report higher levels of positive feelings.
Considering that LGBTQ folks are 2.5 times more likely to experience depression and anxiety that the average population, according to a Kaiser Family Foundation study, and that 30.8 percent of transgender individuals have seriously considered suicide, (compared to the heterosexual individuals at 2.3 percent) according to a 2009 Massachussets Public Health Department Study. We, of all people, should be abiding in the wilderness the most. As a young queer growing up in the mountains of Colorado, I’d seek solace from the noise of middle and high school and my family of seven on the mountainside. At this point of my life, the idea of not knowing any “out” queers seems impossible, but at that point, it was true. My journal and the mountains were the confidants of my confusion, confessions, angst, and dread. In my human health class and Christian after-school program, we were given the narrative of straight as “natural” and queer as “unnatural,” so it was easy to feel othered, less than, and alone. In the mountains, the solitude felt comforting
rather than confining. I ambled along Clear Creek and let my thoughts flow downstream. In the mountains, all the nonsense disappears. When ascending an alpine forest, it is possible to drink in the beauty and reassurance of a forest, the thick, pineneedle floor, the chitter of squirrels and call of birds, the trickle of a snowmelt creek, the way our gaze scans geologic time as we take in beauty of layers of rock on a ciiffside ... each layer an age, a climate, an eon. Miniscule things like who you are attracted to and how you express your gender seem laughable in this sort of timeline; the trees do not judge you for whose hand you hold beneath their branches; the snowmelt creeks do not define or presume your gender as it runs over your glistening skin;the wildflowers blush pink no matter who you moan with. I was given the task of writing about the intersection of queerness and mountains … but what I see, what I feel, in regard to these two towering pieces of my life, is not an intersection as much as an
ecosystem, parts of a whole. Nature transcends human definition. We can categorize its parts and pieces, identify its plants and animals, its rainbow trout and riparian streams, gasp at its autumnal leaves, and the mountains, remain indifferent. The mountains will support life, whether or not you understand it. The mountains will accept your grief whether it is for a loved one, an unaccepting family member, or deadname. You can bury your shame, trinkets, or formaldehyde-soaked breasts, and a hungry predator will find its way to dig them up. The hot springs will warm and soothe your body, despite your dysphoria, every time. I know I’m not the only queer who feels more comfortable on a mountainside than in a dance club. My hope is that we are slowly changing the narrative of what queerness looks like and where it occurs. I hope we continue to fight, not only for Black, trans, immigrant, and Indigenous lives, but for the systems that support all of us.
O U T F R O N T M A G A Z I N E . C O M // 2 1
f l e s r u o Y Find
with
EVERLAND ART PARK by Arianna Balderrama Photos provided by Everland Art Park of four years, he placed his flag on the space Everland now is. The way Everland is set up is very intentional. The team worked with nature-based therapists and delved into philosophy in order to plan what Everland was going to represent. “We want to have a theme and prompt, allow people to individually create, but to keep it cohesive and not chaotic. So, calling in something that had meaning and intention that everyone can relate to.” Gathering inspiration for their archetypes came from the front range and local animals. The Compass Village is what the rest of Everland orbits around. Each direction represents something different:
T
he question of our purpose in life comes up again and again. Often, the answer is never there. You may answer with chasing happiness, but truly, what does that look like?
Jonny Jenkins is a man with a bucket full of different experiences in many subjects. From working in community projects to real estate, he has now found his purpose within Everland. Everland is an immersive art park and retreat center, only an hour away from Denver. Immersive art is an art that simply immerses you, whether it is based on the size of the piece or the ability to interact with it. Immersive art allows you to become a part of it and connect with it, rather than being a being outside of the material. Jenkins quit real estate and later moved to Africa, where he was doing aid work in Uganda. For the next eight years, he was living abroad, searching for a way he could be of service to the world. Ironically, how Jenkins found his desire to create a safe place for all as a way to get in tune with nature began with an accident. “I had a near-death experience in a motorcycle accident. I launched myself three stories off a bridge and luckily landed in some water. I should be dead. I couldn’t walk for months. That was just the pattern of disruption, and, of course, correction. It really got me to ask myself, ‘OK, what is my highest calling be of service?’” Before his accident, when he attended Burning Man, Jenkins witnessed first-hand the kind of excitement that immersive art can bring. While incapacitated, he decided to create a place that reflects the awe he saw at Burning Man. Once he moved back to America, Jenkins started to look for land, and over the course
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North - Shaman’s Path - Alchemist, Divine Healer, Intention East - Inner Child’s Path - Discovery, Trickster, ParticiPLAYtion South - Steward’ Path - Craftsman, Maker, Positive Impact West - Visionary’s Path - Lover’s Nook, Riding Resistance, Collective Mindset Sky - Dreaming, Astrology, Ancient Future, Multiverse, Aliens, Legacy, Explorer Earth - Pachamama, Indigenous practices, Collective Mindset Inner - Inner Gifts, Innate Wisdom, Creator, Resonance, Genius Zone The compass divides the trails of the art park. Artists can come in and create based on a certain direction. Everland’s art park is still in the process of being built. However, the pieces are all planned out. The Earth trail will include a nature mandala, while the Inner, the area that focuses on “our inner vibration and our inner unification as we all are vibratory creatures,” will include a sound temple. This sound temple will be crafted of wind harps and deconstructed pianos, all of which will be tuned to different pitches. There are also webs used as places to rest through the entirety of the park. For the Wisdom trail, Tigre Bailando is creating a large bear. Bailando is an artist who mainly creates sculptures and immersive art as ways to reduce one’s eco-footprint. The meshing of the two worlds moves together like honey. With the vision of Everland and Bailando’s work, the pair is copacetic. “I fell in love with all their creations and who they are as a person in the way they show up. Tigre, from a design standpoint—they
some of this big, mind-transformative art that's inaccessible to a lot of brackets of people.” Everland currently has a Kickstarter that provides the majority of its funding to make the park possible. With the root of the park being to bring out creativity and collaboration within individuals, Everland allows for artists to send in their requests to create pieces and share ideas for the park. “It's such an honor to get to have these deep moments of inspiration as we plan, dream, and create. The land teaches me, and the people teach me. It’s this great lesson, as we just continue to listen to these voices from our community who are asking for different things and sharing their wisdom. And, as we leave that open space for conversation and for collaboration, we continue to have our perspective expanded and open to new possibilities of creation. It's a constant source of inspiration for me, and nourishment.”
work with so many natural items and recycled things found from nature. That's a highvalue system within Everland. Anything we can do utilize organically, and [that is found] in a lot of art that Tigre creates. The spaces are meant to be healing spaces, spaces with a message, and with heart and wisdom and intention.” In the future, the team at Everland and Tigre will be crafting a temple together, described as a space that is a “non-dogmatic, open space for anyone to come and connect and have someplace of sovereign.”
To answer the question of what happiness looks like, perhaps it is giving yourself to the world and creating another sliver of a safe haven for others to enjoy and inspire in, much as Jenkins did.
The value of treating the Earth with respect appears to be one of Everland’s greatest desires. When creating art pieces around the park, seeking out ways to craft the most sustainable way possible is a top priority. The area itself is created to work with the land rather than cutting into it and manipulating it. Including educational plaques on items such as medical plants found in the area and keeping people off certain parts of the park are more ways Everland is cohesive with Mother Earth. Using solar energy and composting toilets will be another highlight of Everland’s eco-footprint, or lack thereof.
For more information, visit everland.co.
It’s hard not to make comparisons to the Garden of Eden: lovely, created by the hands of God herself, and expensive. However, only the latter is false. Everland’s team consists of people of all different backgrounds. This didn’t come out of a desire to tokenize people, but rather happened inevitably, and they want everyone to have a seat at the table. The motto of Everland revolves around play and safe spaces. In order to create a space welcoming for all, Everland has been working on their anti-racism strategy, educating themselves on the proper language to use, and working with Co-Op at 1st Street to learn how to create a welcoming environment. Everland is also working on a scholarship fund. People who purchase a ticket have the choice to donate a percentage of their ticket to the fund.
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If money is a barrier for people, Everland will also offer the chance people to volunteer at the park and have the ability to experience the land either way. “You don’t have to come in with a monetary exchange, just as long as you have the heart to co-create and bring this project forward. Our heart for this is to bring about more access to 7225VH_AD_Verticle_Emphasis_3.375x4.625_R01.indd 1/27/20 O U T F R O N1 T M A G A Z I N E . C O M // 2 3:37 3 PM
Lost and Found by Christopher La Fleur
S
tefano de Benedetti is remembered for a number of notable accomplishments. The celebrated, Italian alpinist logged more than 80 first descents in the Alps. He was the first to ski the notorious West Face of Mont Blanc, the storied, second-highest summit in Europe.
Photo provided by Christopher La Fleur I’d stay home late at night and watch queer cinema after everyone had gone to bed. One would be hard-pressed to find a more modern Emily Dickinson. My exquisitely manicured melancholy, contempt
Before de Benedetti’s famous descent of the line, it was widely considered impossible without the assistance of a helicopter. Having an incline of no less than 50 degrees and an overall prominence of 2000 meters, it remains one of the most difficult ski descents in Europe. To put that in perspective, the route is roughly half as high as Colorado’s Mount of the Holy Cross is tall. Hyperbole in mountaineering is nothing new. Indeed, for the uninitiated, mountaineering may seem like a trivial pursuit. Why on Earth do we drive in the predawn dark to wander in circles for miles? At altitude, there’s 40 percent less oxygen. At dawn, the forest is bitterly cold and wet. By midafternoon, you’re sunburnt, windburnt, and exhausted. What reward compensates for the blisters and missing toenails? There’s no grand conspiracy afoot. I sought liberation and found volumes of truth in the apathetic embrace of the alpine. In his 1985 documentary La Parete Che Non C’e’ about the ascent and first descent of the Aiguille Blanche, de Benedetti says, “In that perfect moment, I was so concentrated there was no space for other thoughts. When you are in a situation where, if you fall, you die ... everything changes. You act like a different person. You act with all yourself. You are making a completely different experience, and, in some way, discovering yourself. That is the magic of the mountain. To live so close to the possibility of dying, you understand what is really important and what is not.” In some sense, queers have always known that brand of truth, albeit under different circumstances. Many of us grow up in hiding, occupying the perilous space between authenticity and ill fortune. In de Benedetti’s words, we act like different people. Growing up on the Eastern Plains of Colorado, I learned firsthand: self-actualization is risky business. I spent the school year buried in homework and art projects, desperately avoiding bullying and the occasional brawl. I went to excellent schools, learning with the brightest and best. My classmates were accomplished, talented, and mostly affluent. Growing up, I had the distinct impression of being on the outside, looking in. Even the blissful escapism of summer break was lost on me. I lacked money, a vehicle, or anywhere to go. While my friends and their families took vacations to exotic locales, 2 4 \\ J U L Y 2 2 , 2 0 2 0
for authority, and patented blend of shame and rage served to isolate me far more than my contemporaries ever could. Summer days were whiled away in air-conditioned solitude reading books, writing poems, and drawing. Leaving the house was a monumental hardship unless it meant walking to the library in the morning.
Before he gave up on coaxing me out of the house, my father took us on weekend excursions to the national forest. Save for gas and a few snacks, it was free. He'd load up our gear from the army surplus store, toss my sister and I in the truck, and off we went. Being the oldest, my job was to navigate. At 9, in the days before Google or MapQuest, I learnt to read a map and compass. Endless hours later, we’d arrive someplace far from toilets and
some dozen years later, I sent my father a selfie. Smiling from ear-to-ear and covered in dust, blood, and sweat, I was alone on the summit of Grays Peak—my first 14er. It’s true. The mountains are dangerous, thankless, and unforgiving. Indeed, that’s what endeared them to me. Seven, full years have passed since that first summit. Worry not, I’m still addicted. In the time since, I’ve summited 29 14ers, 49 separate times. Having visited some of the most beautiful and remote places in Colorado, the wonders I’ve seen rival the sense of accomplishment gained from 20- or 30-mile days on the trail. I wake at 3 a.m. just to watch the sun rise in the east. If you’ve never seen an alpine sunrise, the endless horizon sings at first light as if accompanied by the gentle strains of a violin. When hiking no longer challenged me, I graduated to free climbing. Alone on the trail, there are no free passes. The high peaks have taught me to rely completely on instinct, my gear, and my strength. There’s no room for fear, error, or ego. As in life, these things are too heavy to lug around. Mountains matriculate, whether you ask them to or not. I often tell novice hikers that mountaineering is nothing more than chess with blood involved. This game of strategy requires undivided focus and, above all, humility. In return, they bestow self-esteem, fortitude, and courage. I spend days or weeks preparing for tedious, difficult ascents. Packing, double-checking routes, equipment, and my own mental and physical fitness mean the difference between life or death. Even then, bad weather or fatigue can spoil a trip. Capricious though they may be, every time I drive west, the craggy, granite shoulders of the Front Range remind me not only of where I’m going, but all the places I’ve since been.
electricity. Most often, a lake swarming with mosquitos. I took any opportunity to complain. I cursed the offensive smell of lakes, the jagged rocks under my bedroll, the lack of television, etc. It must have come as a shock when,
Many times in life, I’ve felt lost— irrevocably, unconditionally lost. It wasn’t until I started getting lost for pleasure that I finally felt found. That, in the words of de Benedetti, is the magic of the mountain.
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The sky is less clouded than my conscience As I weave my way down hollow city streets Steeples surround the city square Affixed with crucifixes
I peer at empty pews
Nature photos by Molly McCormick 2 6 \\ J U L Y 2 2 , 2 0 2 0
Wearing regal robes of frosted sage And ochre flowers
Smiling beneath stained glass But turn away
Holy water drips down crooked crags
Opting, instead of guilt, for grass Beneath my tired feet.
While the wind whispers humbling hymns into my eager ear.
I pass over asphalt, across glittering gravel
Thick carpeted aisles betwixt painted pews
With liberating lightness I allow my feet to choose their path
Are replaced by sequined quilts of autumn colors
Each step moves broken rocks into
Blanketing abounding breasts, pointing, with their aged beauty
Singing symphonies of forgotten songs
by ElizaBeth Whittington
Steeples of moss-covered cliffs adorn hallowed hills
Into the azure blue sky.
Trading broken glass for sun-dried grass Twisted branches of yucca plants hold Dried caskets of shaking seeds Singing songs of rattler’s tails When shook by blowing breeze
White moths flirt with fleeting winds Whipping round my naked nape Why is it amongst these sun-dried mountains, I learn the meaning of escape?
Beneath blistered feet and dusty soles Leaving behind the battleground For salvation of sickened souls
I am hopeful and humbled By hopping grasshoppers and rust-red wild flowers The vision of passing shadows Over melded mountains melts into my memory For eternity
Forget the splintered steeples And their sunlit stained glass I have found my place of worship On a mountain pass. O U T F R O N T M A G A Z I N E . C O M // 2 7
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