OTHER DUTIES AS ASSIGNED

Mr. K greeted Kelly on her first day, smiling through the neat beard she recognized from her job interview. It had been the two of them in his office. Kelly had felt at ease until his last question. “You don’t have any experience with data management?” She managed to say what she’d been practicing since she’d gotten a callback. “A lot of my skills are very transferable.” Then her mind went blank, so she let out a nervous chuckle. “And, uh, I definitely know the alphabet …” Her confidence withered under Mr. K’s gaze. His beard said nothing for the longest minute of Kelly’s life. She and Natalia both needed this job. “We’re looking for someone we can rely on.” His eyes sought hers. “Can you handle that?” Kelly had thought of her wife and said, “Yes.” So, here she was, setting her bag down next to a short, middleaged woman with glasses. Mr. K introduced her as Rose, and as they were showing Kelly how to set up her station, a man in Birkenstocks breezed in.

“Fresh meat! Excellent.” His hands, which he had been rubbing together like a cartoon villain, wilted under the combined glares of Mr. K and Rose. “What? I kid, I kid.” Mr. K said, “Jake, why don’t you show Kelly the vault?” “Will do.” Jake gestured for Kelly to follow him, and of course, she did. ***

They descended into a long, dark room full of hulking shapes that didn’t reveal themselves until Jake made his way down the first aisle. Kelly’s nerve endings tuned up to warn her of the first sign of trouble. Jake nudged the side of a shelf with his toes. “You gotta watch these things. They creep.” Kelly nodded. “Let’s head back upstairs," he said. “That’s where the real action is.”

Some familiar shape caught the corner of Kelly’s eye. When she turned to look at it full-on, the blood drained from her face. She could only stand and point and make a noise she’d never heard before.

Jake laughed and yanked it out from between closed shelves. It was a human arm, neatly severed from whomever had been desperately trying to claw their way out— Jake tossed and caught it like a baton. “So real, isn’t it?” He lobbed it to Kelly. Her hands told her it was plaster, painted skin and gore. Her heart slowly calmed. Jake saw the look hadn’t left her face. “Annual tradition around here. Happy Halloween!” Kelly willed herself to smile. It wasn’t Jake’s fault Natalie would have to go solo to the LGBTQ+ center’s party next week. And that WAS a really well-painted arm. ***

Mr. K drew her aside before she left on October 30.

“Are you ready for your first midnight shift?” Kelly had said yes. When she went in the next day, she saw nothing unusual except the number of rings Rose wore. “Happy full moon!” she said, brandishing her pewter at Kelly. Soon after Kelly arrived, the others started leaving. The luxury of working without anyone looking over her shoulder covered the next few hours like a plush carpet. And then something massive groaned underneath her feet. Kelly thought about ignoring it. But what if the foundation was crumbling, and she didn’t say anything, and the whole damn place collapsed overnight? These fears overtook the ones tingling at the base of her spine, and she stood up. She placed the ‘BACK SOON’ plaque on her side of the desk. She made her way to the basement staircase.

It was dark, of course. Kelly’s internal map of the place had solidified over her last few shifts, but when the lights still hadn’t blinked on at the end of the first aisle, it started to dissolve. Her throat dried and closed. Her feet had automatically propelled her to the doublewide, center row that gave her a view of all

the shelves, hulking together in shadow clusters that disguised their real size. They all stood silent. Watching. As she stared back, their small, green safety lights blinked to red, one-by-one. Before she got any closer, a mighty groan scraped her nerves raw and froze her to the spot. The shelf next to her started to move.

And still, Kelly could not move or make any noise of her own. She watched, frozen, as the horror between the shelves revealed itself. A burning pit opened its maw on the floor, showing teeth the size of stalagmites jutting amongst the flames that kept into the room. By their flashes of light, Kelly could make out two robed figures on the other side of its rim. They chanted something she couldn’t hear, but in tones that she almost recognized, if she could just get rid of the shrieking in her head— Arms seized her in a tight embrace from behind. In a glint of fire, she recognized the rings. “Rose?” It came out in a squeezed whisper.

It’s our differences that make us great.

Susan Boynton, Agent 9200 W Cross Dr Ste 122 Littleton, CO 80123 Bus: 303-948-2905 susan.boynton.lcfc@statefarm.com No matter what you value, I’m here to help protect it with respect and professionalism. Here to help life go right.® CALL ME TODAY.

“Shhhh,” Rose said into her ear. Rose was strong, and Kelly’s feet slid the exact opposite way she willed them.

She cringed when she felt heat on her toes, but they went no further. She raised her eyes to see Mr. K under one robe’s hood, holding out a book and reading from it as Jake nodded along behind him.

“O great one, we sacrifice this virgin to you—” Kelly struggled. “I’m married,” she said, “I have a wife; we slept together ages before that, I’m not going to work—” Jake grinned. “Not that kind of virgin.” Mr. K lowered the tome a few inches. “You were the only otherwise qualified candidate without data management experience,” he sighed. “This is the only way that works.” Rose said, “We’ll miss you,” and shoved Kelly forward. Kelly’s guard dropped as she tried to process this into reality. She didn’t have time, and she fell into the molten mouth of the office undergod, mentally composing her resignation notice.