TEMPTING

TEMPTING THE TEMPTRESS

Writing by Ryan Jerome @Ryan_Jerome

Temptress Tiny

@tempthaus

Tell us about yourself , your background and how did you became Temptress Tiny?

I’m a 28 year old Puerto Rican queer woman born in Miami and raised in New York. I have been focused on my craft as a dominatrix since 18 years old. Growing up in the city I have always had a very aggressive personality, making me the leader in many situations. When I turned 18 I began working as a cam girl on MyFreeCams where I took on a dominant role working with pay pigs, slaves and different types of submissive people. I was under mentorship in a privately owned dungeon for about a year, all while constantly self educating on kink and BDSM. Originally my subs would refer to me as Mistress N. About 7 years ago I created the alias Tiny which transformed into Temptress Tiny as I came in tune with who I am as a professional lifestyle Dominatrix.

Tell us your role as Temptress Tiny?

My role as Temptress Tiny includes many responsibilities. Being attentive to my clients and submissive mental health, physical health along with their needs and desires. This role calls for me to be both patient and nurturing yet vigilant and assertive. I have to take charge, bringing importance to having negotiations to discuss their fantasies and come to a clear, consensual understanding of what they want to receive from their sessions with me. I have lifestyle subs who invested in power exchange dynamics with me, and then I have clients who pay for one on one sessions. My role also includes managing a kink collective under the name Haus Of Temptation. I mentor the members as well as curate events and offer our services to other projects within the community.

What does Domination means to you?

To me domination means the privilege to exercise control and command with given enthusiastic consent. It means to create rituals, structures and discipline. To me domination is to be sadistic, calm and sensual while being granted with subservient behavior. It means I must be authoritative and regulate a safe space for those under me to relinquish the need to be in charge and allow me to conduct the scene.

Whats the difference between a temptress and a mistress?

The difference between a Temptress and a Mistress to me is the way scenes and sessions are approached. The energy that I give off in order to tempt my clients rather than demand. My submissives have shared with me that I take them on a journey. My sessions feel magical and ritualistic. I have a very alluring, sexy but intimidating persona and I like to focus on mentally dominating my bottoms before physically doing so.

When you tell people about Temptress Tiny what is their reaction

Most people are not surprised when they hear about my role as Temptress Tiny. Many have told me it was destined to happen as I’ve always been the one in charge while having a very nurturing energy. Those who are not aware of BDSM/kink may ask certain curious questions such as why we do it and how it’s done. Then there are the few people who do not have proper understanding, who try to shame me or those who serve me.

Do you believe BDSM is still considered stigma among the general crowd? Can it crossover mainstream?

I believe in our more recent years BDSM has become more accepted, but not always in ways that benefit the actual kink community.

Famous artists and brands have showcased more BDSM centered work such as fashion, art and even within music now, but there is still a lot of shame towards those who actually play and embrace various kinks and fetishes. Being a dominatrix is also linked in with me being a sexworker, which as we know, holds major stigma. This has made it difficult for many of us to hold a consistent platform to promote our services or lifestyle via social media since there are issues surrounding the accounts of SW’ers constantly being removed.

Tell us about an experience which blew your mind.

Over the last 10 years I have taken part in a ton of mind-blowing scenes. I’ve encountered many submissives who can take extreme pain through bondage and impact, but I’d have to say trampling one of my current submissives has been one of the top. They are able to withstand an immense amount of impact through stomping, kicking, punching and I’ve been in awe with the amount of bliss they express while experiencing such cruel, agonizing pain.

What would you say is the most sex dominant piece you own?

I own a wide variation of different bdsm toys. Different pieces for different ways of dominating my subs and clients. I’d have to say one of the most sex dominating pieces I own are chastity belts and cages. Controlling when they touch themselves or enjoy any sexual activity is definitely something I very much find pleasure in.

Do you have a favorite practice you like to do when working with first timers?

A lot of my first time clients are generally more intrigued by my shibari (rope play), wax play and fire play. Sensory play is a good choice to introduce kink with the intention of helping the client feel at ease and safe to release control. Shibari can be approached in a platonic sensual way or it can be sadistic, sexual and intense, so this gives each client the option to choose what type of headspace they’d like to be in throughout our session.

What advice would you give for people trying BDSM for the first time? And for experienced individuals?

Something that everyone who’s new to BDSM should understand is that explicit, consensual consent is the forefront of all kink based power exchange dynamics. Advice would be to always ASK before assuming. Just because someone expresses they like pain, doesn’t mean they want to be hit randomly. Finding out what, when and how they like pain is very important. Same goes for attending a play party, always ask for consent to touch anyone! For those who are experienced, my advice is to be more accepting of those who’s kinks are different from yours and to have more diversity within our community spaces including LGBTQ+ folks and people of color.

I decided to pursue a career as a dominatrix because I realized how in demand my services became the more I educated myself and perfected my craft. Witnessing my clients fall into such a vulnerable space with me was so liberating and profound. I had found one of my purposes in this life. I wanted to continue to experience this in a way that benefited me both mentally and financially.

Mentorship and on-going education is vital in order to become a well versed professional. Getting to know other seasoned Mistresses and Masters along with attending kink munches and play parties. Become familiar with the community and be honest about your level of education when coming in contact with other kinksters.

Visiting a dungeon can be exciting yet nerve-wrecking for most. Verbal negotiations are always had prior to any physical interactions in order to orchestrate safe and smooth scenes. There are many toys and activities to choose from, so generally we would decide on a few to incorporate into our session and discuss what type of feeling they are seeking to experience with me. Most people are wanting a cathartic release so I focus on creating a therapeutic space, where we can both explore our fantasies.

PROUD SUBMISSION

Writing by Ryan Jerome @Ryan_Jerome

JO

@octavekitten

Tell us about yourself , your background and how did you became Girl JO?

I generally just go by Jo— the girl was added in front because my male best fried was also named Joe so it got confusing for people if they yelled out our name in a room so we started going by girl Jo and boy Joe. Probably not as relevent to the conversation.I don’t have a name that I use within the scene I just go by Jo. As far as my background goes I am 41 years old and a synthetic organic chemist who specializes in oncology medicines. I have always been into the goth music scene since the early 90s, and the kink scene has always been on the periphery of it. Once I was 18 I dipped my toe in the waters and began to play with power exchange dynamics with my partner at the time who identified as a dom. I always knew I had submissive tendencies and we had an excellent dynamic that we built. I’ve gone in and out of the scene for awhile depending on partners but craving submission is always there in my brain.

Tell us your role as Sub?

My role as a sub depends entirely on my dominant. There are so many different types of subs— from pets, service subs, littles, slaves, etc. I identify mostly as just a submissive or impact bottom, perhaps with some switch tendencies that I am beginning to discover and explore (a switch is someone who is both dominant and submissive and can switch between roles) . I am currently not in a collared dynamic, nor am I “owned” by anyone so my role right now is to honor myself and know that my submission is a gift when the right dominant comes along. I do belong to a group— the Haus of Temptation and we all have roles to represent the Haus and its values.The Haus throws it’s own events too.

What does Submission means to you?

Submission is the ultimate gift I can give someone. It is my pure trust and essentially me putting my life in your hands as many activities such as breath play can be dangerous.It allows me to be what I consider is the best version of myself. When I go into “sub space” (which can be defined many different ways but it’s often just a trance like state for me where everything feels perfect and balanced) it brings me so much relief and comfort. I have to be very dominant in my day to day life and career so being able to relinquish that power and let someone take over is very freeing for me.

Why do you believe letting others dominate you is important for you?

I believe it is important for me because it makes me feel good. It makes me feel worthy. It makes me feel like a bad ass, quite frankly. The bond that you form with a dominant— even if it is not someone who is a partner— is beautiful. The trust, the scenes you do, and the after care (how you take care of each other afterwards) is all very special.

When being asked if you are a Dom or a Sub most people lean towards saying they are a Dom even though they are not , why do you believe there is a stigma in being a sub?

This question is hilarious to me because I feel like most people I talk to are subs and everyone complains of a “top shortage”, but perhaps many people don’t want to be seen as weak because often submission is equated with weakness. I find that to be a misjudgment though— you have to be strong to be a submissive. There are a lot of

arguments that being a sub “isn’t feminist” or is “abuse” but that discourse does not interest me. If this is something I enjoy and want and my dominant is respecting my needs and limits there is nothing abusive happening. Also what is more feminist and empowering than doing what you want? I think that stigma mostly comes from people outside of the scene who just don’t understand what goes on, and I don’t participate in debating that discourse with anyone because people tend to have their minds already made up.

Tell us about an experience which blew your mind?

The experience that most blew my mind was the first time (and only time thus far) where I’ve done electroshock play where electricity conducting toys are used on you to stimulate nerves and cause sensations. It’s a very unique experience, and definitely something I never expected to enjoy as much as I did. Also, the first time that Temptress Tiny bound me in ropes was incredible. I have very little "Shibari" experience and the way she was able to tie me just made me feel so safe and close. It felt very comforting despite not being able to move.

Tell us about the underground BDSM scene in Los Angeles

The great thing about Los Angeles right now is that there are so many great events being run by femmes and queer bipoc. I personally prefer to only attend events run by femmes, and especially queer bipoc femmes. These individuals know what its like to experience cis het male dominated beds spaces and how they can feel unsafe (not all of them of course— that is a broad generalization), and take steps to make sure there is representation and consent. There are more of these events popping up in all kinds of spaces which is great for beginners who want to start learning about the scene beyond internet resources. It is refreshing to see femmes leading the way to create these new spaces that feel very safe and welcoming. I also feel that there is a lot of whitewashing of the kink scene, so its great to be in a city that is so culturally diverse and see that representation in the events.

How do you find/attract your Dominator?

I think the key to attracting the right dominant is to first know yourself, know your likes and limits, and become the best sub version of yourself that you can be. This applies to finding any partner even outside of the kink scene in my opinion though. Many dominants are people you hire. Kink is not always sexual, though it is practiced between partners as well. I have done both. It’s easier to hire a professional dominant if you have something specific in mind that you want and they are an expert in it. For partners it often depends on luck as finding a kinky partner on apps or websites can be a living hell of unicorn hunters and fake dominants. Attending events and meeting like minded people in person has seemed to be the best course of action for many people. It really just depends. I know many people who have converted their seemingly vanilla partners into full blown ministers. There’s no one right way to do it.

How and what are your limits being a sub? Every time I play I am learning more about my limits. When I do a scene with someone there’s always negotiations of what the limits are, but some limits are soft and throughout a scene a proper dominant will check in with you and see how you are doing. If you are feeling up to it you can decide to play with those soft limits a bit. Personally, I like impact play the most, but I do not like to be caned and that is a hard limit for me. There have been many things that were hard limits for me that I have softened on over time, but I still prefer to avoid any kind of impact play with a cane.

What advice would you give for people trying to be a sub for the first time?

My advice for anyone looking to begin their self discovery into submission would be to absolutely make sure you do alot of research, and when you think you’ve done enough research do some more. Do not just jump in and play with someone. Read as much as you can. Take an online course (Haus of Temptation offers a great one, so does Lina Dune from Ask a Sub). Listen to podcasts. Read books — The New Bottoming book by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton is a great place to start. Learn about yourself and what you like. What do you fantasize about and why do you think submission would feel good. You can’t find the right person to dominate you if you cannot properly communicate your wants, needs, and limits. Learning about what to expect from negotiations, a scene, after care, and the potential for sub drop is incredibly important. From there you can start to attend local events and experience what is going on and talk with like minded people. Most importantly learn how to properly vet people whether it’s through taking a course on vetting (many are offered these days) or asking around. You do not want to play with someone who is going to ignore your limits or aftercare needs. The most important advice is to be safe and have fun, and also prepare for things to go wrong or be funny. Not every scene is going to be perfect and that’s ok.

TOM OF FINLAND IN LOS ANGELES

Photos and Writing by Alexandra Bonnet @alexbonnetwrites

CULTUREEDIT / Tom of Finland Store

@cultureedit @tomoffinlandstore

Swedish born and currently living in Los Angeles, Joakim Andreasson is the owner of CULTURE EDIT which is an umbrella company for a number of endeavors, and one of them being that they operate the Culture Edit and Tom of Finland Online Store and storefront that carries all things Tom of Finland and beyond in the sectors of fashion, design art, and adult goods. Sex is back and Joakim is here to share with us what his store offers, the empowerment it brings and more.

Share with us more about the store’s history and how it came to be.

My company manages all the licensing endeavors for the Tom of Finland Foundation, meaning anything that has Tom artwork goes through my hands and direction. Over the years, since 2013, we have done all kinds of collections from home decor and in the last few years we have been going into high fashion collaborations with brands that include JW Anderson, Honey Fucking Dijon and more.

Over the years, in what ways has it continued to go “to the next level”?

It has been a very organic process. When I started with the licensing program, it was very limited to calendars, t-shirts, there was a fragrance but we really took it to the next level proactively and with a lot of support from Finland, Tom of Finland’s home country as they finally recognized him as their cultural hero as opposed to that “guy who does sexy drawings that we can’t really speak of.” With their help and our efforts here in America and Europe, we have a much more solidified program which covers most categories.

At what point did “domination” become trendy? Do you know by chance what was one of the first pieces sold?

It’s also a trend to be dominated you know? So, I think it is a two way conversation and depends on who you ask. It’s like top or bottom. The store has been around for five years…We prepared everything throughout a few months and the first day was kind of nuts but the item that sold the most was a yellow t-shirt with a Tom drawing of a guy being pissed into his mouth.

IMAGE ABOVE >> JOAKIM ANDREASSON, OWNER OF CULTUREEDIT

Who runs the store today?

Who runs the world? (laughs). I own it and I have an amazing team of guys that run the day-to-day operations and it’s a collaboration, not a hierarchy. Everyone finds their pieces of the puzzle and supports each other.

What do you usually look for in clothing?

Artistic integrity, longevity, no trends, something that can withstand the test of time.

Tell us more about what the store means to you.

It’s more through the reaction of others. What I sense when people come in is that they get this kind of utopic feeling and that it is the place for them, it caters nurturing expressions that they may not tap into in the day-to-day “straight” world. Being able to nurture individuality and creativity in that sense.

In what ways is this store leading true change?

I mean I wouldn't say we are a political store, it’;s much more organic in the sense that you connect with an item, it becomes yours and that is the tool we use for self-expression.

Which work of art has had great success?

In the store context, we sell sex toys the most.

In what ways has this store motivated and empowered others to express themselves fully?

Everyone expresses themselves best when they are at their most unique, I think. If you are trying to belong to a tribe you are turning into a more homogenous version of yourself but if you can tap into what makes you unique and shine like the start that you are, that is the best way to do it.

What makes the brand stand out and unique?

Depends where I am. I created a work cosmos where I just do whatever I want and I think that is unique.

When faced with adversity, what do you believe is the best way to handle the situation?

To have people fall flat on their faces, meaning if you sort of let them ramble on and go deeper into the situation, a lot of times they end up looking like idiots and I win!

What can people expect from Tom of Finland in the upcoming years?

More amazingness across the board. There are two different dimensions of Tom when it comes to this conversation. I manage the commercial side (collaborations, products etc) and then the Foundation deals with exhibitions and cultural manifests. There are amazing ones coming up, one that just opened up in Venice and is sponsored by Diesel so in response, there will be a Diesel fashion capsule and that exhibition will travel to Paris then Helsinki which will be the biggest one yet.

What is your favorite piece of artwork of Tom of Finland?

There is one drawing that has a very hot close up of a double penetration that is kind of sexy. I like it when he gets nitty gritty with certain erogenous subject matters and it’s not jsut about the full figure.

Do you think sexual practices, talking about sex and practicing it in a unique way has become a mainstream culture?

Clearly not because we are still facing adversity, at least in terms of being a member of the LGBTQ community and there are a lot of adversities we are still overcoming. It really boils down to sex and the issue at hand…anythign that relates them to the understanding of sex… that becomes the issue.

Any message to the Vulkaners?

Come check us out! This is a unique environment to find things in a very relaxed way, it’s a unique shopping experience and more about connecting with people and having an exchange. We hope you will find what truly suits you and not everyone else! Thank you so much and hope to see you soon!

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