M A G A Z I N E www.outservemag.com
THE summit
GAY MILITARY FAMILIES
November 2011
CHAPTER SPOTLIGHT
the chapters
CONUS
OutServe has over 4,600 members in 51 chapters worldwide. Here are the chapter locations and e-mail addresses for chapter leaders.
Service Academies Alabama Arizona Arkansas California (South) California (North) Colorado/Wyoming Florida Georgia Idaho Illinois Indiana Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Nebraska Nevada New England New Mexico North Carolina North Dakota New York City/NJ/EaPA Ohio Oklahoma South Carolina Texas Virginia Utah Washington D.C. Washington State
OCONUS
Have trouble contacting a chapter? E-mail: outserve@outserve.org We’ll forward your request via our network.
Afghanistan-Iraq Africa Alaska Cuba Bahrain/Saudi Arabia/ Qatar/UAE Cuba Diego Garcia Germany Guam Hawaii Italy Japan Korea Kuwait United Kingdom Turkey
academies@outserve.org alabama@outserve.org arizona@outserve.org arkansas@outserve.org scalifornia@outserve.org ncalifornia@outserve.org colorado@outserve.org florida@outserve.org georgia@outserve.org idaho@outserve.org illinois@outerve.org indiana@outserve.org kansas@outserve.org kentucky@outserve.org louisiana@outserve.org michigan@outserve.org minnesota@outserve.org mississippi@outserve.org missouri@outserve.org nebraska@outserve.org nevada@outserve.org newengland@outserve.org newmexico@outserve.org northcarolina@outserve.org northdakota@outserve.org nyregion@outserve.org ohio@outserve.org oklahoma@outserve.org southcarolina@outserve.org texas@outserve.org virginia@outserve.org utah@outserve.org washingtondc@outserve.org washington@outserve.org
afghanistaniraq@outserve.org africa@outserve.org alaska@outserve.org cuba@outserve.org middleeast@outserve.org cuba@outserve.org diegogarcia@outserve.org germany@outserve.org guam@outserve.org hawaii@outserve.org italy@outserve.org japan@outserve.org korea@outserve.org kuwait@outserve.org unitedkingdom@outserve.org turkey@outserve.org
NOVEMBER 2011
VOL. 1 NO. 4
OutServe Leadership Co-director Co-director DC Operations/Spokesperson Service Academies/Spokesperson Media Operations VP Global Development
Josh Seefried (J.D. Smith) Ty Walrod Jonathan Hopkins Katie Miller Sue Fulton Thomas Nibbio
OutServe Magazine Executive Editor Managing Editor Design Director Head of Advertising Social Media Head of Distribution Contributor Contributor Contributor
Jonathan Mills Eddy Sweeney Angelina Leger Grayson Young Caleb Sutton, John Tegeler William Britton Jamar Green Kody Parsons Karl Johnson
Editorial Board Jonathan Mills Eddy Sweeney Angelina Leger Dr. Nathaniel Frank M. S. David Small
Subscribe
DIGITAL MAGAZINE visit http://outservemag.com/the-mag and sign up for our digital magazine — also available for mobile devices! PRINT MAGAZINE Individuals: Visit http://outservemag.com/the-mag to purchase the Magazine in print Unit Leadership: E-mail distribution@outserve.org with your unit’s mailing address, and we’ll send bulk issues — absolutely free! FOLLOW US:
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OutServe Magazine is an initiative founded and operated solely by non-Department of Defense affiliates. While Magazine content is managed primarily by actively serving military professionals, the articles, advertisements, and artwork in this publication do not reflect the opinions or official position of the Department of Defense or the United States Government. ISSN 2161-3370 (Print version) ISSN 2161-3389 (Online version)
editors’ corner EDDY SWEENEY
As we transition to a post-repeal environment where Gays and Lesbians can openly serve side-by-side with their colleagues, it seems important to us here at the Magazine to describe where we see the future of both OutServe Magazine and our sister organizations moving forward. At our first OutServe Armed Forces Leadership Summit in Las Vegas this past October, many readers asked: “How does the Magazine plan to stay relevant now that ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ (DADT) is gone?” It is an important question and something I’d like to address. First, DADT’s death does not mean that LGBT troops in the military have full equality yet, due in part to the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). One of the missions of OutServe Magazine is to continue to report on DOMA’s impact on our LGBT service members and to also educate and inform our readers so that they can contact their legislative leaders in support of changes to the law that will allow LGBT troops full and equal rights. This will not be an easy task, and OutServe will certainly not be undertaking this challenge alone. Second, OutServe Magazine will continue to evolve to include broader features that expand beyond a militaryonly focus. In this issue alone, we have added a new “travel” section, and future issues will expand on this to include features such as fitness and culture. We’re continually seeking ways to help readers find new avenues of both intellectual and personal growth. As always, the editors of the Magazine eagerly welcome our readers’ feedback and ideas for future content. OutServe Magazine has also teamed up with integral organizations such as Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) and the Palm Center in the past in order to collaborate and highlight our unique missions under one cohesive banner. In this issue, OutServe Magazine will be introducing six more organizations that continue to play a key role in advocating for LGBT rights; the Military Partners and Family Coalition (MFPC) , the American Veterans for Equal Rights (AVER), Servicemembers United (SU), Log Cabin Republicans (LCR), Human Rights Campaign (HRC), and the Military Acceptance Project (MPC). Though each of these organizations has different missions and goals, collectively, we can be a force that continues to drive the national conversation surrounding LGBT inequality. I hope you all enjoy this new issue of OutServe Magazine and continue to support us in our efforts to both educate and create a stronger, more equitable military.
– Eddy Sweeney Managing Editor
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PHOTO: Simon Howden
Readers –
ALLCALL
CONTENTS NOVEMBER 2011
VOL. 1 NO. 4
6
ASK SARGE
Need advice? Sarge is here to tackle those tough issues.
“I’m so pleased to send my warmest
7
greetings to all of you attending the inaugural OutServe Armed Forces
THE SUMMIT
OutServe storms Vegas for first annual Armed Forces Leadership Summit.
Leadership Summit. And I want to thank each of you for your service to our nation...”
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– First Lady Michelle Obama
THE SUMMIT
REPEAL WATCH
How LGBT organizations are moving forward in a new era of LGBT equality
PAGE 6 ...No organization is packing up their shop and claiming mission complete. Rather, they all seem to be sticking to their stated vision, and leveraging their diverse strengths to further LGBT issues. – David Small
REPEAL WATCH PAGE 13
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GAY MILITARY FAMILIES Stepping out of the Shadows
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A DIFFICULT FIGHT PAYS OFF
An unwavering commitment to the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness
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THE MILITARY ACCEPTANCE PROJECT
Bars, restaurants, nightlife, cinema - we give you a local’s perspective on Hillcrest, one of San Diego’s most charming and action-packed gayborhoods. TRAVEL GUIDE
Acceptance is mission-critical
25
INTERVIEW
WITH MR. MOJO A message from a youth leader and anti-bullying speaker – Mojo up!
PAGE 26
26
OSHi CHAPTER OF THE
YEAR PAGE 34 On the Cover: Jeff & Lori Wilfahrt, parents of Cpl. Andrew Wilfahrt Photograph by Sophia Hantzes
OS TRAVEL GUIDE
Tour Hillcrest, San Diego with a local ... don’t miss the margaritas!
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REMNANTS OF LIGHT: THE BOOK One battle at a time
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VETERAN’S CALL
The heroes we owe for getting us here, and a challenge to take it even farther
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CHAPTER SPOTLIGHT
Serving their community and having a far-reaching impact on countless lives around them –OutServeMag.com OSHi sets the bar November 2011
5
askSarge Dear Reader, I have served in the Air Force as a Mental Health Technician for the past four years, and as a substance abuse counselor for the last two. Experience has shown me that most who come into the clinic simply need to be reminded about the basic fundamentals of life, like problems sleeping, communication issues, and adjusting to the military lifestyle. There are many other unique problems out there, and I would love the opportunity to help address them. Visit my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/dearsergeant and post a question that you’d like to see answered here. Sincerely, Sergeant
Dear Sergeant, I write because I need an outside opinion. I am a currently serving bi Soldier, and I am writing because I need advice about coming out. I have questioned my own sexuality since middle school and became solid in what I was a few years ago. I was always afraid to act on anything or tell anyone, but a few close friends, because of DADT. Now with the repeal of DADT, I am feeling more bold to actually come out to friends and family. I love my friends and family and I am afraid of losing those relationships though. My family has already hinted that they would love me no matter what (which leads me to believe they already suspect something), but I am still afraid. My support structure is minimal because I recently got PCS’d overseas and am currently deployed … so I am away from those who could provide me that support. I just don’t want to feel like I am hiding anymore … please offer some advice. Thanks. Franklin Hello Franklin, Good for you on considering coming out! This is a VERY big step, and any of us who have gone through it are well aware of the challenges it can pose. Please understand that it takes a lot of inner strength and self confidence to even initiate this process, so I applaud you. The coming out process really helps to define your support system. You will quickly realize who your true friends are and where your family members stand on the issue. Like many big steps, the hardest part is actually DOING it. You will have all kinds of thoughts and fears and hesitations going through your head because, to you, it is easier to live the lie for another day than to deal with the potential negative consequences attached to coming out.
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As for your recent change in location and circumstances, my best suggestion is to get involved in groups that you can connect with. Find a hobby or get enrolled in a sport or class of some kind. OutServe is an amazing resource, full of people from all over the world, in every different service, who are struggling with, or have struggled with the exact same thing that you are going through. If you are not already a member, then I would highly recommend that you find a local chapter in the listing at the front of this magazine. If you are already a member, then I suggest getting plugged in to your local chapter so you can begin meeting people in the area to build that support system that is so vital. I wish you the best! Sergeant Dear Sergeant, My partner of approximately 17 years and I were married in California when it was legal. We where wondering if he would be eligible for any benefits / resources as my spouse after DADT is repealed and after I retire from the military - he has never served in the military. Thanks! Broc Hello Broc, Congratulations on spending 17 long years with your partner! Let me tell you what I know about the current policy changes regarding DADT and benefits for your spouse. The Service Members Legal Defense Network (SLDN) has published a list of “Member-Designated Benefits”. This is a great resource listing all of the different benefits that your spouse is entitled to. You can view this list by logging on to: www.sldn.org/pages/benefits-and-pay Additionally, a new federal policy was approved which allows dependents of LGBT DoD Civilian employees to receive medical benefits under their spouse. Hopefully, this policy will spread a little further and cover all federal employees, including service members and retirees. I truly hope that this information was helpful to you. Sincerely, Sergeant
Kody Parsons is an advice columnist for OutServe Magazine and has been serving on active duty since 2007. If you have a question you’d like to submit to him, e-mail Parsons at dearsgt@outserve.org This column serves as a way for members to seek advice from their peers, and in no way does the columnist's opinions replace professional medical advice. Anyone struggling with medical or personal issues is encouraged to seek professional help from a military chaplain, Family Support Center, or a medical health facility.
storms vegas
F
By David Small
or the first time ever in a professional group setting, out, serving, gay and lesbian service members gathered for the historic 2011 Armed Forces Leadership Summit October 13 – 16 in Las Vegas.
With nearly 250 LGBT active-duty, veterans, family members and allies from around the world in attendance, the conference fostered networking, professional development and idea exchange on a wide range of topics related to LGBT military service. The conference kicked off with a day of activities for OutServe leadership to help organize the new association and provide resources for chapter leaders. Following that was a full day of concurrent workshops including: • Partner and family benefits: what you should know • Pluralism and professionalism in the military chaplaincy • How our military allies did it: foreign perspective on LGBT service • Being “out” while being in: leading from the front • Post-military career opportunities • Equal opportunity and gender in a post-repeal military • Scriptures and homosexuality • Service members and the freedom to marry • Dealing with deployment: for service members and partners • OutServe Magazine: how we can make it better, how you can contribute • Transgender service: current issues and policy • The death of DADT and the path forward for LGBT rights
While the conference was uniquely OutServe, a host of organizations were there as speakers and participants. Represented organizations included Knights Out, the Service Women’s Action Network, the Military Acceptance Project, the Military Partners and Family Coalition, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, the Service Academy Gay and Lesbian Association, the Forum on the Military Chaplaincy, and the NOH8 Campaign. Despite OutServe’s infancy, the group attracted several sponsors for the event, including The Human Rights Campaign, Central Intelligence Agency, Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, Out & Equal Workplace Advocates, the Courage Campaign, Coverity, CDR Michael Colman, Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority, Tropicana, the Log Cabin Republicans, American Veterans for Equal Rights, Sanctuary Project Veterans, the Pride Institute, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the Stonewall Democrats of Nevada, New York-New York Hotel & Casino, and Wells Fargo & Co. Speaking of sponsorships, the OutServe Board was pleased to announce during the summit that they hired the association’s first full-time employee responsible for resource development, Tom Nibbio. As the conference wrapped up, an unofficial poll showed an interest in renewing the conference for 2012 in Washington D.C. where conference attendees could have an effect on ongoing legislative initiatives for the LGBT community. Articles in this summit package will address various workshops, attendees and other events during the weekend.
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theSummit High Ranking Gay Defense Civilian Addresses Summit The OutServe Summit culminated with a dinner keynoted by the highest-ranking ‘out’ gay civil servant in the Department of Defense (DoD), Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Douglas Wilson. Mr. Wilson was honest about his experiences as a gay man, and as a senior Defense official during the DoD’s repeal implementation. Met with thunderous applause, the highlight of Mr. Wilson’s speech was his personal delivery of a letter from First Lady Michelle Obama to the Summit attendees. The contents of that letter read:
I’m so pleased to send my warmest greetings to all of you attending the inaugural OutServe Armed Forces Leadership Summit. And I want to thank each of you for your service to our nation. Today, less than one percent of Americans serving in our military — they bear 100 percent of the responsibility of protecting our nation. As you know well, when our troops are called to action, so, too, are their families. Military families support and sustain the service members who support our freedom, care for our weak warriors, and survive our fallen. I believe all of us have a role to play in ensuring our service members and their families have the support they’ve earned. That’s why Dr. Jill Biden and I launched Joining Forces, a nationwide initiative to recognize and support our military families. We are joining forces with cities and states, families and communities, businesses and nonprofits— asking everyone to do their part to honor and serve families just like yours. Until very recently, gay and lesbian Americans have had to serve in silence. But in spite of this tremendous obstacle, service members like you persevered. With courage and determination, you chose to serve and continue to exemplify what is best about the American spirit. I truly hope Joining Forces makes a real impact in your lives and I hope it is worthy of the strength and commitment you and your families demonstrate every single day. Thank you for your extraordinary service to our nation and please remember to stay connected to Joining Forces. I wish you all the best. Michelle Obama. He ended his speech with a call to action to bring focus on the difficulties the children of service members face in school as well as to educate employers about supporting service members. As the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs, Mr. Wilson serves as the principal staff advisor and assistant to the United States Secretary of Defense and United States Deputy Secretary of Defense for public information, internal information, community relations, information training, media analysis and communication strategy in support of DoD activities, leading a worldwide public affairs community of several thousand military and civilian personnel.
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Leading From ‘Out’ Front Five national change agents during the leadup to repeal prompted a popular Summit panel entitled “Being ‘out’ while being in: leading from the front.” Addressing the issue of being ‘out’ in a post-repeal environment, many participants sought guidance on how to create an atmosphere of inclusion and diversity in the military, as well as an understanding of the implications of being out. Panelists included Zoe Dunning, former board cochairwoman for the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, Mike Almy and Jonathan Hopkins, repeal advocates kicked out under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT), Michelle Benecke, one of the founders of SLDN, and Josh Seefried, one of the founders of OutServe. One key conversation topic was fraternization among the ranks as gays and lesbians in a tight-knit community. Concern arose that LGBT troops may not be treated the same as their heterosexual counterparts. The conversation compared the odd phenomenon where women military members sometimes hold other women subordinates to higher standards of conduct. The panel also addressed a need for LGBT leadership in a post-DADT climate and the positive benefits of leading the way to open and honest service for LGBT service members.
The summit Hosted 12 panel Discussions
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theSummit
Surviving Parents Stand Tall at OutServe Summit Just before the ban on openly gay troops ended, Cpl. Andrew Wilfahrt, who was gay, died by an improvised explosive device in Afghanistan. His parents, Lori and Jeff Wilfahrt, spoke about their experiences, their son and gay rights issues during the closing events of the OutServe’s Armed Forces Leadership Summit.
She transitioned from DADT to other LGBT issues, stating soldiers fight to protect freedoms, but people are quick to limit freedoms at home for some Americans.
“His death is no more or less significant than other soldiers killed in wars, but ‘Gay Soldier Killed in Afghanistan’ is a compelling headline and confounding story for some people,” said Mrs. Wilfahrt, who remarked that being gay was the least interesting thing about her son.
Mrs. Wilfahrt relayed how her home state of Minnesota pushed through a state constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, up for vote in 2012, pledging to use her son’s story to defeat the trend.
Despite his death, the family was comforted in the idea that his story helped aid the fight to end DADT. Mrs. Wilfahrt relayed her son’s experiences in the military and the tributes given to him, such as naming a security forces outpost after him near Kandahar. “What all these tributes tell me is that a good soldier is defined by many things, and sexual orientation is not in the equation,” she said, applauding the service of other gay service members and those who helped defeat DADT.
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“It is not lost on us that Andrew died protecting rights that he himself could not enjoy,” she said. “Especially the right to marry the person he loved.”
“Ordinary people like Jeff and I are on your side,” she said. “We’re willing to fight with you and for you. There are a lot of people like us willing to do the same. Tonight, we celebrate the progress made so far. Thank you for all you do to make things right for all LGBT citizens of this country.” The Wilfahrts were presented a photograph of a section of highway in Hawaii dedicated to their son, maintained by the OutServe Hawaii chapter. Cpl. Wilfahrt was stationed in Hawaii prior to deployment.
OutServe Develops Service Academy Cadets at Summit The Army and Coast Guard service academies sent cadets on official orders to attend OutServe’s Armed Forces Leadership Summit to garner information on how to lead as cadets and young officers in a post-DADT military. Cadet First Class Andrew Gavelek, pictured below on right, attended through sponsorship by the U.S. Coast Guard Academy’s cultural diversity and inclusion office after hearing about the event through OutServe’s online network. Amazed by the camaraderie at the Summit, Gavelek said, “The conversations we are having here are going to benefit our organizations as a whole.” He intends to go back to the Academy and share his experiences at the Summit. In particular, Gavelek wants to impress upon his peers that there are a number of resources available out there to handle LGBT issues for those who serve. “If we create a million ways to handle the change, we are going to defeat ourselves in the long run,” he said. After serving on a Coast Guard cutter, likely as a deck watch officer, Gavelek hopes to get involved in policy making for the Coast Guard at a national level.
“I’ll be able to discern the best leadership approach to situations and can give advice because I learned about the policies here,” said one cadet. “It doesn’t make us an expert, but it makes us more knowledgeable about the transition,” said the other cadet. Both cited the partner benefits panel and the panel on international allies benchmarking open gay service in their countries as being very helpful. “There are going to be different types of partner benefits,” one said. “It’s going to be very complicated and cause an imbalance in my unit. I’m going to have to answer questions to my troops on why someday.” All of the cadets OutServe Magazine spoke to felt the Summit was beneficial to their leadership development as future military officers. “I appreciate OutServe for hosting the conference and Knights Out for funding us,” one said. “This has been a very helpful conference ... informing people on current issues that apply to all service members and making us informed leaders.”
Two Army cadet third classes from West Point, preferring to not be named, spoke to OutServe Magazine as well. One aspires to be an aviator. The other is looking at the engineer branch. They were part of a group of seven cadets on a West Point Department of Cadet Activities sanctioned trip. Knights Out, West Point’s LGBT alumni group, sponsored their trip. One cadet was even allowed to skip out on regimentallevel training to attend. “West Point was very supportive of the trip in general,” he said. “They are always looking for ways to send cadets out to learn about things that affect the changing dynamics of the Army.” Both cadets felt the Summit prepared them to answer questions about repeal to their peers and future platoons, and made them more of a leadership asset to their cadet companies now.
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theSummit
Summit’s Benefits Impress Attendees Time well-spent and a professional environment were the general reviews of the inaugural Outserve Armed Forces Leadership Summit October 13 – 16 in Las Vegas. Air Force Capt. Ryan Quinn, a C-17 pilot from Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst, and his local OutServe chapter leader wanted to come simply because it was in Las Vegas and to connect with people of similar interest. What he got out of the Summit, though, was more. “I was amazingly impressed with the professionalism and content of the conference, especially for such a young organization at its first conference,” he said. “Our members bring a lot of skill and experience to the conversation. I think it’ll help me understand some of the issues that people are facing and how I can serve to help leadership understand those issues.” Having attended a workshop at the summit on transgender service, Quinn recognized there is more to do. “LGB service members are allies for transgender service members, and it will be necessary to help out in the fight to get equality for them,” he said. Quinn also learned from international allies on best steps going forward. “Just because we’re not banned from service now doesn’t mean we don’t need a policy. No policy is not the best policy. There needs to be some nondiscrimination policy that covers all areas. Without a policy, it’s just undefined,” he said. The number of people who attended, particularly junior ranks, made an impact on U.S. Coast Guard LCDR John Fiorentine from Washington, D.C.
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“It’s exciting to be at the first one and be a part of this. I look forward to next year and getting more involved in my local chapter,” he said. Fiorentine was impressed by the Hawaii chapter’s organization and level of involvement that won them the Chapter of the Year award during the keynote dinner. Others were more nostalgic about the conference, like Petty Officer 1st Class Leonardo Lucio who joined the Navy in 1990 and could have retired last year, but stayed through repeal just to see what it would be like. “After coming to the OutServe Summit, I’d stay for another 20 years. It’s going to be a new Navy,” he said. Even a conference as successful as this has room for improvement, however. Suggestions during the final session included the need to actively recruit more women attendees, create programs specific to the lesbian community, and also provide forums for the plethora of gay military spouses in attendance. Phuoc Le, the partner of an Army reservist from Annapolis, Md., said he learned a lot about what his partner had to deal with during deployment, but wished the program had more to do with spouse support. Many sponsors and partners agreed to support the conference in the future as well. Amazon.com pledged to bring 15 partner organizations with it next year and Jeffrey Correa, a veteran with the group Freedom to Marry, said, “I loved it. It was better than Cats. I want to go again.”
repealwatch
W
Photograph by Samuel Morse
Repeal Watch: What’s next? By David Small
hile the era of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) has ended, LGBT service members may still find themselves at the center of policy debates as various groups continue to fight for full equality. The Magazine’s Repeal Watch section has previously highlighted organizations such as the Palm Center and Knight’s Out, and as a continuing feature, OutServe Magazine is touching base with key names on both sides of the DADT debate to see how its demise has affected groups’ legislative advocacy and educational missions. (*Editor’s note: The anti-repeal organizations contacted refused interviews for this article.) In future issues, this section will continue to feature those organizations such as Freedom to Marry and USNA Out that have had key roles in the movement for LGB equality. As the interviews for this post-repeal issue commenced, it became clear that while gays and lesbians can serve openly within the military, they have not yet escaped the limelight. LGB service members will remain central to two key issues to the greater fight for LGBT equality: the quest to seek marriage equality, and nondiscrimination based on sexual orientation. What follows are the results of interviews with various organizations regarding how their mission and focus were affected by the end of DADT. No organization is packing up their shop and claiming mission complete. Rather, they all seem to be sticking to their stated vision, and leveraging their diverse strengths to further LGBT issues. November 2011
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repealwatch
servicemembers legal defense network (SLDN)
“The core of our programs will remain legal programs,” said Aubrey Sarvis, SLDN executive director who is following the repeal’s implementation. Sarvis said he doesn’t expect issues, but wants his watchdog organization to provide oversight to the Department of Defense (DoD) on the process. Yet with gays now being able to serve openly, Sarvis said the focus of SLDN’s legal advocacy and cases may change. Within the legislation that ended DADT, Congress removed the clause regarding nondiscrimination from the original draft. “We will continue to advocate that the President issue an executive order prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity,” he said. According to SLDN, their first priority is to ensure protection from discrimination under the new law, protection which effectively doesn’t exist. Service members who feel they have been victims of discrimination based on their orientation only have two choices: file a complaint with the inspector general, or report the incident to their commander. SLDN wants those in uniform to have access to independent reporting chains through the equal opportunity (EO) office, just as their civilian counterparts do. This would require the updating of EO processes and procedures to include LGB personnel. Some gays and lesbians balk at this idea for fear of being designated as a protected class of people within the organization. One justification for the repeal of DADT was, in fact, a desire for fair and equal treatment — no better, no worse. Unfortunately, DoD training for the repeal of DADT specifically indicated that sexual orientation was not covered under the existing EO umbrella, thus limiting the recourse for LGB service members who experience discrimination.
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Secondly, SLDN will be an active advocate for parity of benefits between gay and straight troops. Sarvis cited the need to both repeal the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), as well as make changes to Title 10 U.S. Code to update the language defining the word spouse, as many DoD benefits are based on recognition of dependents. “That definition needs to be changed as it didn’t envision a spouse of the same gender, requiring Congressional action.” Provisions in the Defense of Marriage Act and other laws prohibit DoD from extending certain benefits, such as housing and transportation allowances, to same-sex partners, said Pentagon spokesman George Little. “But a same-sex partner can be designated a beneficiary, for example, for life insurance. The department continues to examine benefits to determine any that may be changed to allow the service member the discretion to designate persons of their choosing as beneficiaries,” said Little. However, in a letter to Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta in August, SLDN proposed 10 modifications Sarvis says DOMA wouldn’t prohibit but would be allowed if the department edited its regulations. Their list includes providing access for same-sex partners to the following: • Military family housing; • Commissaries and exchanges; • Morale, welfare, and recreation resources; • Family programs such as marriage and family counseling; • Legal aid such as the writing of wills for same sex spouses; • Issuance of military ID cards; • Joint duty assignments;
• Exemption from hostile fire zones for dual military families; • Command-sponsored dependent status and space-available travel access for overseas assignments; • Spousal privilege in courts martial, preventing same-sex partners from having to testify against each other. These issues are governed by policy, not statute, and the Pentagon has the authority to change policy, thus affording married gay couples the same rights as heterosexual couples. In the interim, SLDN sees their core legal service focusing more on correcting records. They will assist those discharged under DADT and under prior laws to correct their discharge paperwork. On the legal front, they are also involved in lawsuits for people seeking reinstatement or the opportunity to rejoin in a different capacity. Lastly, and what is viewed as longer-reaching goal, Sarvis said SLDN will advocate for transgender military service, making service based on qualification, not gender identity.
Servicemembers united (SU) Alex Nicholson, Servicemembers United founder, is focused where it has been most effective—defense personnel policies and issues impacting the LGBT military community. He stressed that though SU supports the repeal of DOMA, SU’s efforts are more localized. “The multi-issue LGBT organizations with much bigger budgets are better suited to lead [the DOMA] issue, although Servicemembers United will certainly be supportive in any way it can,” he said. Some of the more attainable items Nicholson cited were increasing the range of service memberdesignated benefits, and securing DoD support for gay military partners and families such as those listed in the SLDN letter to DoD. Nicholson also said his group will continue working to end carry-over practices from DADT such as recoupment of benefits in DADT discharge cases, as well as fighting what he called thinly-veiled, workaround discharges. Such discharges are the result of situations a nondiscrimination policy could address, discharges for non-LGB related infractions that are less enforced in the general military population.
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repealwatch
log cabin republicans (LCR) The biggest effect the demise of DADT had on the leadership of the Log Cabin Republicans was the wake-up call that while service members can no longer be fired due to their sexual orientation, many of their police officer, firemen and school teacher members who are not protected under a national employment nondiscrimination act can be, according to R. Clarke Cooper, LCR executive director. “Law enforcement officers, for example, in many jurisdictions don’t have protection,” Cooper said. “When DADT repeal passed, the Log Cabin Republicans were pinged by their membership saying it ain’t over. We can get fired tomorrow. It’s un-American, unfair.” Working an LGBT agenda with Republicans can be tenuous; however, this issue has an economic aspect at a time when jobs top the political discourse. “There are members of Congress who say nobody should be denied earning an income,” he said. The first attempt at legislation on this issue came in 2007, but failed. As for such a policy for the military, Cooper, who is also an Army Reserve officer, has a more pragmatic opinion regarding the immediate need of a nondiscrimination policy than SLDN, saying those running military equal opportunity programs should presume the definition of nondiscrimination already includes gays. (*Editor’s note: DoD Tier 1-3 repeal training clearly stated that sexual orientation was not covered under the umbrella of Equal Opportunity, thus DoD would need to adjust their position on EO prior to service members presuming to be protected from discrimination based on current EO policy.)
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“Does it need to be memorialized? Yes, but it’s not as hot an issue to tackle as others,” he said, describing instead LCR’s active education campaign to end DOMA in 2012. LCR is partnering with Freedom to Marry and even some who helped author DOMA to lobby its repeal. They are actively targeting fellow conservatives to create allies in an educational campaign, and using the military as a prime example of how DOMA is detrimental to the nation. “DOMA will eventually be killed through efforts in the DoD as it isn’t sustainable from a personnel standpoint,” he said. “There will be a stratified system for delivery of benefits. DoD is going to be the biggest change agent for DOMA.” From Cooper’s experience in his own unit, he has heard questions about travel orders and visas upon changing stations, as well as questions on how to provide benefits to legitimate dependents. One example he gave is the legally married lesbian couple who seeks child care on base, but with a child who is not the natural born dependent of the military member. “Such a situation shouldn’t be a problem, but it will be,” he said.
outSERVE OutServe’s overall educational agenda has changed little with DADT’s downfall. “OutServe will continue it’s primary focus to ensure successful implementation of repeal, and that everyone is able to do their jobs successfully, no matter their orientation,” said Jonathan Hopkins, OutServe spokesperson. “As we move forward, we will help identify any problems that develop post-repeal and assist in rectifying them in an orderly way. This is one way we will continue to help improve our military.” OutServe is organized as a 501(c)3, not a lobbying organization. In that light, Hopkins said the group can still educate on the impact DOMA has on LGBT troops. “A family is a family. Military families of all types serve the nation just the same. Through information and education, our nation can make smart and informed decisions, based upon equality, which is ultimately better for our country.”
human rights campaign (hrc) As a large, multi-issue organization, HRC, like the Log Cabin Republicans, is identifying examples from the military that will affect their work. In terms of broader policy, HRC believes bumps in the road come with any large scale political change such as the end of DADT. “There will be elements of DADT repeal that we need to be watchful of,” said HRC spokesman Michael ColeSchwartz. “We need to ensure people are not discriminated against, claims of harassment are pursued appropriately, and service members have access to channels in order to deal with such problems in the same way their straight colleagues do, as well.” Like other organizations, HRC thinks an explicit nondiscrimination policy covering sexual orientation would clarify and ensure the military’s desire for nondiscrimination of any kind. While the group has no wholesale change in their outlook with this victory, HRC thinks there is still work to be done. “Think about it in light of the hate crimes law passed a couple years ago,” Cole-Schwartz said. “While a huge victory, there are still things we as an organization do, such as working closely with the Department of Justice and publishing a guide for how states work with the law. While a different issue, it is illustrative of how there is still a lot of work to do on implementation and ensuring that the spirit of the law is followed. I think it’ll be the same as DADT repeal. While the statute is wiped off the books, there is plenty for advocates to do with regard to the dayto-day lives of the people we represent.”
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Gay Military Families Stepping out of the shadows
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Lesbian, gay, and bisexual service members are no longer obligated to hide their families or compel their samesex partners to live the “double identity” that characterized their pre-repeal lives. For the first time, families and partners of actively serving LGB personnel can attend official military functions and social events, talk with other service families about their victories and struggles, and take advantage of many of the benefits offered to military families without fear of retribution or investigation. The military believes that retaining a service member’s family is critical to retaining the service member. The Department of Defense (DoD) offers a comprehensive array of programs and services dedicated to maintaining the readiness of service members and their families. These programs are augmented by the selfless work of nonprofit and community-based efforts to bring a complimentary support system to military families. When a service member goes to war, the family is not forgotten. While the military takes care of its families, the precise definition of a service member’s family can be a point of contention. While the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) cannot limit whom one chooses to love, a command’s interpretation of this law can affect a family’s level of participation in military family support programs. A recent misunderstanding of the law almost prevented Chief Warrant Officer Charlie Morgan of the New Hampshire National Guard from attending the Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program (YRRP) with her partner, Karen. The YRRP is a congressionally mandated, post-deployment reintegration program for Reserve Component and National Guard members and their families. Although the Morgan family was always eligible to attend, a misinterpretation of the term “family” by her chain of command led to Karen’s temporary exclusion from the function. Chief Warrant Officer Morgan did exactly the right thing when she felt
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that the chain of command misinterpreted her access to this program — she spoke up and she was visible. With the help of Sen. Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH), the decision was quickly reversed and both Morgan and her partner were allowed to attend. It is important not to over-attribute the senator’s role in the Yellow Ribbon attendance decision, however. The visibility of military families is crucial to accessing the DoD and communitybased support systems. While the Defense of Marriage Act excludes LGB families from the bulk of traditional benefits available to straight, married military couples, it is important for LGB families to remember they are not excluded from all available support systems. Many programs don’t limit access based on DOMA-related restrictions. The Morgan family story might have ended very differently had she meekly accepted her partner’s exclusion from the YRRB by her chain of command. This could have set a dangerous precedent,
allowing uninformed commands to prohibit gay and lesbian families from future activities. CWO Morgan’s visibility set the correct precedent for the YRRP, which is now clearly recognized as an inclusive program. LGB military families face the same range of deploymentrelated issues as straight families. Traumatic brain injuries, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), physical injuries, and a range of family issues resulting from numerous deployments are common. Children of LGB service members face the same separation issues and emotional anxiety that all military children face when a parent deploys. The YRRP, and programs like it, are critical to post deployment reintegration for all families. What do the military lives and families of gay and lesbian service members look like? Fifteen gay military families agreed to interviews by the Military Partner and Families Coalition, offering a glimpse into the gay military family community. • They collectively represent 406 years of military service – and counting. They have 15 children and 7 grandchildren. • The tradition of military service runs in their families. Their parents and grandparents served. • Of their 15 children, four continued the proud tradition of military service. One joined the Navy and three are in the Army. Two are currently pending deployment and another has just returned from his second tour in Afghanistan, where he served in a combat zone with his gay mom.
government civilians, psychologists, scientists, and grandmothers. They coach little league teams and go to PTA meetings. • They are veterans of the Air Force, Army, Navy, Marines, Coast Guard, and National Guard and Reserves. If this sounds familiar, it should. LGB military families are the same as straight military families. LGB military partners and families sacrifice to support deployments and frequent changes of station just like straight military families do. Military families are integral to the retention and strength of our military and the resilience of our service members, regardless of sexual orientation Chief Warrant Officer Morgan refused to accept her family’s exclusion from the Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program. She chose visibility. America supports military families, and LGB families should not be afraid to challenge the status quo when necessary to protect their equal treatment. It is time for LGB military families to step out of the shadows and proudly stand beside their service members, side by side with their straight military family counterparts. They must remain visible and vigilant as the DoD works to ensure all military families receive the support they deserve, regardless of sexual orientation of the service member.
• These 15 families have endured 32 combat zone deployments (34, counting their children’s deployments.) Two of the partners are currently in Afghanistan. • These 15 families have navigated through 36 permanent change of duty stations. They move their households, enroll their children in new schools, and find new employment to provide health insurance for themselves and their children. • They are mothers, fathers, nurses, researchers, pre-law students, software engineers, attorneys, security officers,
Tracey Hepner is the co-founder of the Military Partner and Families Coalition. More information about MPFC can be found at www.milpfc.org and www.facebook.com/milpfc
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A Difficult Fight Pays Off by Steve Loomis, LTC, U.S. Army (Retired)
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On the 20th of September, with members of American Veterans for Equal Rights (AVER) and OutServe leading the way, we saw the fruits of a long and difficult fight: the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT). We’re all familiar with the many stories of embarrassment and heartache that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” caused for so many soldiers. Few but those targeted for discharge under DADT dared speak publicly. Bigotry against gays was the order of the day. Young men and women were threatened, some died, and many careers were lost. In 1996, I was one of those when I fought my discharge from the Army. When I enlisted in 1967, I understood that I might be somewhat different, but did not yet realize what it meant for me to be gay. Commissioned an Infantry Lieutenant out of Officer Candidate School (OCS), I enjoyed the physical and mental challenge, as well as the goal-oriented teamwork of military life. Within six months, I was an infantry platoon leader in the Central Highlands of Vietnam with the 4th Infantry Division. We patrolled the remote Ia Drang Valley along the Cambodian border, climbed through the rugged Chu Pa Mountains, and sweated across the booby-trapinfested South China Sea coast. Our platoon had each other’s back and became the most decorated in the company. I returned home with two Bronze Stars, a Purple Heart and an Air Medal. Stateside, I chose to continue my service as a Company Commander twice, and as a battalion staff and executive officer. By then I realized I was gay, but carefully kept my private life separate from my military career. My performance evaluations clearly showed it never affected my work, neither in a support unit nor a unit in combat. As a Lieutenant Colonel, I served as Chief of Military Education for all Army Reserves, developing a school reservation system that saved millions of dollars. While an inspector general, I conducted one of the first surveys showing there was more tolerance for gays than anyone at that time thought and that women were adversely affected by the prohibition against gays in the military. In 1993, with the passing of DADT, I made a decision, that, should my homosexuality be discovered, I would fight to stay in the Army. My resolve was soon tested.
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At Fort Hood, Texas, I was Chief of Engineer War Plans for III Corps as we trained to deploy the 1st Cavalry Division and the 4th Infantry Division to the Middle East and South Korea. After being selected for promotion to Colonel, and on the night I was awarded a fourth Meritorious Service Medal, I came home to find my off-post house on fire. It was soon discovered that the fire was set by a former partner with whom I broke off a relationship a year before. We had taken private erotic photos and he said he had acted out of fear that the Army, his fellow soldiers and his family would find out he was gay. It was the intimidation of DADT which produced a fear of what might happen to him. It shook me with anger. The stress was more bearable because friends, neighbors and fellow soldiers, gay and straight, helped salvage my property, all while I tensely waited for the Army to act on photos illegally confiscated by the civilian fire marshal showing that I was gay. They were turned over to military authorities, even though the local district attorney initially said it would require a court order (which was never obtained). From the night of that fire, I knew I was in a fight for my life. The Army used fabricated claims that I used “force, coercion or intimidation” in my relations. Even with errors and fabrications in their claims, the Army discharged me in the summer of 1997, just 5 days before I was eligible for a full 20year retirement. My former partner was discharged not for arson, nor for homosexuality, but for failure to pay credit card debts. With the assistance of Servicemembers Legal Defense Network and my attorney David Sheldon, I opened my private life to the media and within a week my story ran on the front of the Dallas Morning News. I began to meet others who were fighting DADT. When Morley Safer of CBS interviewed me on 60 Minutes, we knew the public was becoming more interested in the problems of DADT. Finally, in 2005, we were the first to file challenges to DADT following the Lawrence v. Texas decision of the Supreme Court, ruling that the Texas sodomy law was unconstitutional. In Federal Court, we were assigned a conservative judge, but, if he had
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adhered to the law, as most conservatives claim they must, we would have won our case. The Army Board for Correction of Military Records had previously acknowledged the Army had no basis to claim “force, coercion or intimidation” since my former partner had stated three times during his interrogation that our relations were consensual. When the judge then found the Army had violated their own discharge rules, he decided for us on narrow grounds, so as to avoid setting precedent. He ordered me retired with back pay, and in an unusual act, ordered the Army to pay my attorneys fees. I could move on to fight DADT from outside the Army. Slowly, our culture started changing as good soldiers and veterans spoke out for the right of gays to serve openly. The public began to realize gays were among our best soldiers and that DADT violated the integrity of our military. Politicians finally made repeal a reality. Members of AVER themselves represent a history of the fight for gays’ right to serve openly in our military, and I am honored to be among them. I was a founding member of the New Mexico Chapter of AVER. As a national organization, AVER is the oldest LGBT veterans organization, having been formed in 1990 to fight for the right of gays to serve. It is a nonprofit, chapter-based association, dedicated to equal rights for all active duty members and veterans of the U.S. Armed Forces. At AVER’s 2011 National Convention in Albuquerque, months of work prepared this convention to identify new missions and goals for AVER in keeping with the new legal realities following the repeal of DADT. The convention was the first digitally linked across the country, allowing full participation by Skype of our members who could not attend in person. Capping the convention, we swore in our officers with proud World War II Navajo Code Talkers as witnesses. The following week, I travelled with several national
board members to Las Vegas, Nevada to see the completion of an eighteen-year journey through DADT by participating in the first OutServe Armed Forces Leadership Conference which AVER cosponsored. At the final OutServe banquet, the room was full of young openly gay heroes on active duty alongside their mentors and mainstays in our fight to serve openly. When most on active duty could not openly fight, AVER was critical to our public fight. While working with SLDN, and more recently OutServe, one door was closed on a difficult past while another was proudly opened to our promising future. AVER has publicly spoken for our brothers and sisters in uniform and visited countless members of Congress to petition for our rights and for all veterans’ access to Veterans Administration health and benefits programs. The essential “price of freedom is eternal vigilance.” There are those who would “repeal” the repeal of DADT, but if we man the political watch towers together, that is unlikely. The Defense of Marriage Act must be repealed before our service members and partners have the complete equality they deserve. Article 125 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice must be amended to remove consensual sodomy from its prohibitions. We can, with perseverance, ensure this happens. This is one proud old soldier who will continue to do his part. In the dust and mud of Vietnam, and in the sands of the Middle East, soldiers huddled against each other as rounds sailed toward their positions. No one asked if the soldier beside them was gay, only if they had their helmet on, rifle ready, and mind clear. Today, we judge every soldier, straight or gay, not by the gender of the person they love, but by how well they do their job and whether they succeed in their mission. We all won this one for our team and for our nation, and our nation is better for it.
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Acceptance is Mission-Critical
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While the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) was relatively smooth, there are still many issues affecting individual service members, their families, and even the Services themselves that must be addressed. Cultural change happens slowly. For example, female service members have been serving in or alongside the military in supporting roles throughout history, yet women continue to endure harassment and discrimination on a daily basis. Organizations like the Military Acceptance Project (MAP) seek to prevent this type of discrimination against service members. Founded by a group of clinical social workers with various military affiliations, this new nonprofit has a unique and simple mission–to promote the acceptance of all service members, regardless of their sexual orientation, gender, race/ethnicity or faith. “The repeal of DADT is fantastic, but it’s just the start,” says Military Acceptance Project Executive Director and Naval Academy graduate, Kristen Kavanaugh. “Policy change is one thing, cultural change is another. Our goal is to support and educate service members and military leadership in creating a culture that values the uniqueness of every service member.”
In order to meet this challenging goal, the Military Acceptance Project is developing a variety of direct-support programs to meet the needs of service members and their families, as well as training and educational programs that target cultural change within the military.
Hangouts (Virtual and On-the-Ground) Connecting service members, veterans, and their families to one another for support is key to first promoting selfacceptance as well as cultural change. It’s a safe space where people can speak freely about their thoughts and feelings, facilitated by trained MAP volunteers who are in the publicservice professions and have military backgrounds.
Care MAP Many service members, veterans, and their families may not be comfortable seeking counseling or support within the military or VA context–especially when they feel unaccepted for who they are. Care MAP is a network of screened mental health clinicians who provide low or no-cost counseling to service members, veterans, and their families.
Website Originally designed with input from service members seeking more information on the DADT repeal progress, www.militaryacceptanceproject.org is evolving to include broader information, support, and resources.
Acceptance Curriculum The Acceptance Curriculum is an interactive, dialogue-based workshop that provides a safe forum for service members to learn and talk about sexual diversity, racism, and other sensitive issues. Workshops are customized based on the audience.
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This month, the Military Acceptance Project will launch virtual hangouts for service members, veterans, and their partners to talk about how to make their military social interactions as positive as possible. For example, many LGBT service members want to take their partners to the upcoming Service balls for the very first time. Talking about this very public step, and getting support both before and afterwards, can make it much easier. Other topics will include: creating a healthy work environment, preparing for deployment, post-deployment reintegration, effective communication with family members, setting expectations, and successful transition into civilian life. According to Kavanaugh, “We want hangouts to develop organically from the unique interests of the group and cover topics that are relevant in their daily lives.” If you’d like to join a virtual hangout, you can email hangout@militaryacceptanceproject.org.
Since launching their website, social media presence, and outreach efforts on April 1, 2011, the Military Acceptance Project has reached nearly 10,000 people. “We’ve been truly amazed at the response we’ve gotten from service members, veterans, and their families. One of the most basic needs of every human being is acceptance and belonging. We are honored to serve those who serve our country by helping to facilitate both of those efforts.”
If you’d like to learn more or support the work of the Military Acceptance Project, visit their website at: www.militaryacceptanceproject.org
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ARMED FORCES LEADERSHIP SUMMIT 2011
Thanks to Summit photographers Todd Burton, David Small, + Angelina Leger! 24 OutServeMag.com November 2011
speakingup
A Message from Mr. MOJO Youth Leadership & Anti-Bullying Speaker
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“To all you bullies out there … healing comes from helping, not hurting. You want to heal that pain that you have … find somebody else and help relieve their pain, and I promise you that pain [you feel] is gonna start to go away.”
OutServe Magazine sat down with Travis Brown, renowned leadership and anti-bullying speaker last month. Brown, who goes by Mr. MOJO, has been travelling across the country to spread his message of healing and helping as part of a 75-day, 200-school speaking tour.
“When people in leadership positions are willing to accept others, more people will embrace that change as well . . .”
During his speeches, Brown often uses the term “MOJO up” to encapsulate his message. When asked about the meaning of this contagious phrase, Brown replied, “When I say MOJO up, I’m talking about carrying the highest level of positive attitude because you’re excited and enthusiastic about life.” Throughout his assemblies, students often adopt the phrase and chant it back. “It’s a battle cry for our students. When I say it’s time to MOJO up, I mean that it’s not time to make excuses, but to speak up and stand up, decide to help someone out.” Brown also calls for people to evaluate their actions and the effect of their actions on others. “We all have the power to help or the power to hurt, simply by the words that we choose or the actions that we take. And we don’t understand how powerful those words are — how harmful they are to our “core.” We need to be aware of these things, be willing to do everything we can to create positive experiences–at work, at school, in the community. If we’re really going to make change, it takes everybody’s help.” After discussing the successful repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) and passage of several anti-bullying laws this past year, Brown explained why he focused his efforts at the grassroots level. “I really appreciate the attempts that legislators are currently making to create better schools [and a better military]. But it’s not legislation that can make
the change in the end.” To him, individual examples of leadership work best. “When people in leadership positions are willing to accept others, more people will embrace that change as well. With more people accepting, it will become a universal way of life to accept people for who they are.”
Born and raised in Indiana, Brown admits that he “grew up in ignorance [of] gays and lesbians.” He adds that he is a Christian, but that his role is to “love everyone even if I disagree with their socks, shoes, hair, car, or how they live their life. Even if I don’t have an understanding, I can still love and respect everyone different from me.” When told that many OutServe members and other LGBT military personnel are afraid to come out, even after the repeal of DADT, he responded, “A lot of that is your own confidence and your own security in yourself. I’m not going to tell you that there aren’t people who won’t agree or don’t like or say nasty things.”(Brown calls these people “haters.”) “Some people will go to extreme measures to let you know that. But your life isn’t about who likes you. It’s about finding people who are okay with you being yourself and your being happy with yourself. When you can accept yourself, others will too.” Brown can often be spotted wearing a camouflage t-shirt with the words “Operation MOJO: Live, Learn, Lead,” a message that resonates strongly with service members.
Learn more about Mr. MOJO by visiting
www.nobullyingtour.com
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Travel Tips by ‘N’
let’s go
travelguide
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Less than three miles from Marine Corps Recruit Depot San Diego, and less than 10 miles from Marine Corps Air Station Miramar and U.S. Naval Station San Diego, the ecclectic neighborhood of Hillcrest has long been a home away from home for LGBT Marines and sailors. No matter your nighttime scene or your dining preference, you’ll find something for you in Hillcrest. Founded in 1907, Hillcrest began in the same way as many other gayborhoods across the country. Two factors encouraged young couples to buy their first homes and raise their families in Hillcrest. First, the housing was affordable and accessible to the middle class. Second, the neighborhood was close enough to downtown to be near the preponderance of jobs. By the 1920s, Hillcrest teemed, businesses flocked to meet the needs of the residents, and a community formed. Following WWII, many of the area’s original residents remained, and the neighborhood began to age disproportionately to the rest of San Diego. By the 1970s, property values had fallen drastically as the buildings and homes followed the same path as their owners. With a need for inexpensive housing and a safe place to congregate, San Diego gays and lesbians slowly gravitated towards Hillcrest. With the proximity of Balboa Park and a few gay-friendly bars, the population began to transform. Younger gays and lesbians, singles and couples, began buying and renovating homes and apartments, opening gay-friendly businesses, and the modern-day Hillcrest took shape.
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If you’re near the Hillcrest sign, you are a short walk from a wide swath of international cuisine. Restaurants with food from Asia, Africa, the Middle East, and Europe are all within two blocks, and the scents of chicken lemon grass from Saigon on 5th blend with the aroma of real curry from Kitima’s Thai Kitchen. Of course, equally tempting is the gourmet burger from Burger Lounge or Saigon on 5th, which offers authentic, fresh, and very affordable Pho just a couple of blocks from your favorite club.
Hillcrest is very convenient for the traveler because of its proximity to both the airport and to Hotel Circle, a congregation of major chain hotels ranging in quality from budget to upper-end business traveller. A cab from the airport to Hotel Circle runs about $25, and once settled, a cab from the hotel to most places in Hillcrest is about $12. If you stay in a hotel close to the intersection of Interstate 8 and California 163, you can hike about 15 minutes up the hill into Hillcrest, coming out right by Urban Mo’s Bar and Grill and saving yourself enough for a cocktail or appetizer. It is less historically significant than the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village or the Castro in San Francisco, though it has a story all its own. It is less flashy than South Beach in Florida, though a Friday night at Rich’s might lead one to think differently. It is certainly not as eclectic as 4th Street in Austin, but a walk down University Avenue emphasizes the unique commercial and architectural influences that make San Diego’s Hillcrest so special. If you are looking for a Los Angeles-quality scene without the attitude and with a touch of hometown America, consider Hillcrest for your next gaycation. Thanks to the many service members from across the country, Hillcrest is a sort of gay Mayberry set in 21st century California … and it’s all our own.
The Hillcrest sign is a local icon with a rich history located in the heart of Hillcrest. First erected in 1940, the sign has undergone numerous renovations and updates over the years, with the most recent version installed in August of 2011. The sign represents the sense of pride and community found in Hillcrest, serving as a beacon for visitors and locals alike. When the sign was taken down in 1983 to replace the neon bulbs, it took a full year to regain its perch. The excitement generated by its return in 1984 sparked the first annual (though at the time, unofficial) Cityfest. Now in its 27th year, Cityfest is one of San Diego’s largest street fairs. Each year, the sign is turned off and then symbolically relit for the Cityfest crowd, signifying a renewed commitment to the history and community spirit of San Diego’s iconic gayborhood. Visitors can find the Hillcrest sign at the corner of University 5th Avenue. For more information on the sign’s history and pictures, visit www.hillquest.com/fun/sign.htm
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travelguide
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For the ladies, Gossip Grill is the hottest place to start an evening, and it is right across the street from Baja Betty’s, which has the best margaritas north of the Mexican border. For those looking for a kicking club scene, look no further than Rich’s. Just a block down from Baja Betty’s and Gossip Grill, Rich’s always has the hottest DJs and go-go boys in town, spinning and dancing well into the night (Thursday is ladies’ night.) For those with more subtle preferences, Jake’s on 6th Wine Bar is a great place to have a nice conversation and enjoy the company of friends (and their fresh baked bread is exceptional!)
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The single-most influential organization for LGBT personnel in San Diego’s history is The Center, San Diego’s LGBT community center, located in Hillcrest. Started by Jess Jessop in 1971 with a simple answering machine, the Center has grown into the third-largest LGBT community center in the country. Offering counseling, resources, group activities, and specialized information for the diverse LGBTQ community (including youth, seniors, Latinos, African-Americans), as well as providing resources for the HIV positive community, The Center is a tremendous resource for the LGBT community. Historically significant to the nation-wide movement (second oldest LGBT community center in the nation), The Center is a must-see for every LGBT history buff visiting southern California. For more information, visit their website at www.thecentersd.org/ or drop in between 9 a.m. and 10 p.m. Monday – Friday, or between 9 a.m. and 7 p.m. on Saturdays at 3909 Centre Street in Hillcrest.
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In addition to the club and bar scene, Hillcrest is home to a weekly farmer’s market every Sunday from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m., with more than 125 vendors in attendance each week, rain or shine. The farmer’s market is located just off University Drive at 3960 Normal Street, San Diego, CA 92103, right behind the Hillcrest branch office of the California Department of Motor Vehicles. Nearby metered parking is free on Sundays, and the market is within walking distance of many great restaurants and shops. For more information, visit http://hillcrestfarmersmarket.com/index.html
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If Indie film and gourmet snacks are more your thing, check out the Hillcrest Cinema, one of three Landmark Theaters in San Diego. It is San Diego’s premier location for independent and foreign language films. Their snack bar features unique twists such as gourmet chocolates, espresso coffee drinks, and Italian soda. You can find Hillcrest Cinema at 3965 5th Avenue, and you can find more information, such as show times and prices, by visiting their website at http://www.landmarktheatres. com/market/sandiego/hillcrestcinemas.htm
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Historic Balboa Park is home to numerous museums, outdoor art displays, unique architecture, and plenty of green grass and beautiful tall trees. Once the cruising hub around which the gay population of San Diego thrived, Balboa Park today is a family friendly, beautifully manicured oasis in the heart of the city. Located just a few blocks down 6th Avenue from University Avenue (1549 El Prado, Balboa Park, San Diego, CA, 92101), and thanks to San Diego’s year-round sunshine and cool Pacific breeze, Balboa Park is a perfect outdoor respite after a hard day of shopping. Check out www.balboapark.org for prices, exhibits, and hours.
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goodread
One Battle at a Time By Mike Yost WINTER, 2000
DECEMBER 18, 2010
An airman I worked with at Hill Air Force Base asked me one night, “what’s wrong?” For almost a year, when I wasn’t trying to act straight, I was brooding, and he had finally noticed. I worked hard at appearing straight. Went to strip clubs. Nodded my head when someone said, “she’s hot!” Talked about boobs. No one ever asked why I never had a girlfriend. Why I never went on dates. They only wondered why I was so aloof. He asked again. My mind was racing. He knows, I thought. He knows! Panic. The words formed in my mind and landed on my tongue, knocking at the back of my teeth: I’m gay.
It was graduation day. I was listening to the chancellor speak, waiting to queue up to receive my Master of Philosophy and Literature degree. My phone buzzed. I flipped up my commencement robe and reached into my pocket. The screen lit up with a text message from my partner: “THEY REPEALED DADT!”
“Nothing’s wrong,” I replied. John (not his real name) knew I was lying, but he didn’t ask again.
SPRING, 2003 “I’m gay.” It had been two years since I left the Air Force with an honorable discharge. I was on the phone with John. I was 25, going to college in Denver on the GI Bill. “Oh,” I heard on the other end of the line. The panicked feeling returned. “I’m a Christian now,” he said. “I don’t agree with that behavior.” Our conversation was short. I tried again with my former sergeant, but had a similar response. These were people I respected— who had respected me. These were my friends, friends I had been forced to lie to for years because of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT). These were people I would have taken a bullet for—and I know they would have done the same for me. I made myself a promise not to contact anyone else from my military past again.
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Four hours later, at the graduation party, my editor held a glass of champagne in the air. “To the death of Mike’s book.” I had spent three years working on a novel about a gay POW, Mark Bradford, discharged under DADT. Mark’s story wasn’t mine, but as I wrote Remnants of Light, he became as real as any other person. His captivity, discharge, and the heartbreaking ramifications made me think long and hard about the 14,000+ men and women who were unfairly kicked out, and how it must have altered their lives—some surely as tragically as my antihero. A friend asked me at the party why my novel was dead. “It’s no longer relevant.” My editor agreed, and my friend just looked confused. I couldn’t have been happier. After graduation, I went back to my book in a post-repeal era. I thought about how Mark’s struggles, along with all those kicked out under DADT, would last long after the repeal. I wondered how different Mark’s story would have been had the book been set after the repeal. How would his life have changed if he hadn’t been discharged? I worked with my editor to find a direction for the book, and we settled on a plan for revision and publication. Through that process, I started to think about what it would mean to be out in the military. What it would have meant to Mark. To me.
More than 29 percent of active-duty service members believe the repeal of DADT will have a negative impact on unit cohesion. Almost one out of three. This means that even after the repeal, some men and women in uniform will continue to serve in silence out of fear of homophobia, hostility, or losing the respect and friendship of the men and women with whom they serve. One out of three. I couldn’t accept that statistic, and neither could Mark.
When I decided to become an advocate for coming out in the military, I broke the promise I had made to myself; I started coming out to more members of my squadron. Acceptance all around— even from a devout Christian with whom I’d shared close quarters. “You’re still the same Mike,” he told me, and then we spent two hours catching up and reminiscing. He told me about his wife and kids, and I told him about my partner and my book. This is the future for all service members. But, as in the military, the objective is achieved one battle at a time.
OCTOBER 11, 2011 (Coming Out Day) Five weeks after publication of my dead-but-resurrected book, I launched OUTArmedForces.com, a website where veterans and active-duty military can put a face to the LGBT military community; where straight service members can reaffirm that the LGBT men and women with whom they work deserve the same respect as anyone in uniform; where families, friends, and American citizens can declare, in a single voice, that we support all of our troops—gay or straight.
ARMED FORCES.
Mike Yost is a veteran of the 729th Air Control Squadron, the author of Remnants of Light, and the spokesman for OUTArmedForces.com.
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Veteran’s Call By Gene Barfield
This hero doesn’t have a name or a face. It has thousands. Between 1991 and now, thousands of LGBT veterans were instrumental in keeping the issue of justice alive for LGBT service members. Barney Frank was right in 1993 when he said what we did not want to hear. He said that the ban wouldn’t end until people got busy in their home congressional districts. Until enough people pounded on the local doors of their representatives and senators, educating them and demanding justice, repeal simply wouldn’t happen. Politicians needed to hear that their political safety would be jeopardized if they ignored the will of their constituents. In other words, this had to be a grassroots fight. All the beltway lobbying and Washington-based fundraising wouldn’t be enough to move the issue forward. It is important not to marginalize the efforts in Washington to end the ban. It was an essential component of a fundamental political effort to make a political change. The other essential component, however, was hometown activism. Tip O’Neill, Speaker of the United States House of Representatives from 1977 until his retirement in 1987, rightly stated that all politics is local. With few exceptions, no legislator was going to vote to end the ban if it cost them their seat in Congress.
Alongside efforts in DC, successful repeal was possible because of 20 years’ worth of effort by people like Jim Darby (Chicago), Karl Clark (Fort Lauderdale), Nancy Russell (San Antonio), Ed Westrick (California), and thousands of other LGBT veterans working in their home towns around the country. LGBT vets understood that active duty people had to be protected; those active duty members who wanted to come out to fight the ban were at great risk. After the implementation of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT), it was no longer safe for them to come out as others had done while the fight to remove the ban on open service was being challenged – not that those earlier heroes had gotten off easy. For years, LGBT veterans were the only faces the issue had, because open service meant immediate discharge. People on the home front who led this fight are heroes. Many who never dared before to be out in their community got so mad at DADT that, suddenly, nearly every Gay Pride parade in the nation had a uniformed color guard. These citizens understood the significance of defending military veterans from their elected representatives, and they took action to speak out on their behalf. These citizens showed politicians that they can’t get reelected by slamming the door in the face of veterans, regardless of sexual orientation.
PROUD TO SERVE: A Portrait Essay and Multimedia Project of our Lesbian, Gay, Bi- Sexual and Transgender American Service Members
Brigadier General Keith H. Kerr entered the Army as a Private at Fort Ord, California in September 1953. Upon release from active duty in June 1960, he continued to serve in the Army Reserves and the California National Guard. General Kerr retired in June 1996 after 43 years of service to the United States and the State of California.
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Lieutenant Colonel Vicki Smith joined the Oregon Air National Guard in 1976. She was a mission commander who served in Operation Dessert Storm. In 2004, her General recommended Vicki to be Unit Commander. When she decided to accept the position, a fellow officer threatened to out her to the General. She declined the position and retired in 2004. Vicki and Jeannie, her partner of 28 years, run a food pantry that services people living with HIV.
The visibility of LGBT veterans within the LGBT community and in the public places of the larger community may be ordinary now, but that presence evolved slowly. It wasn’t easy, but it was essential to ending the ban.
discretion and privacy were matters of survival. Increasing numbers of same-sex couples, whose relationships began as early as World War II, became visible to the rest of us when they chose to put real faces on the issues of justice and civil rights. Many of them are veterans.
Early on, it wasn’t unusual for LGBT veteran activists to find only a tepid welcome in parts of the LGBT community. Many LGBT activists cut their teeth on Vietnam anti-war activism. Lingering anti-military sentiment prompted some to confront LGBT veterans who were raising awareness about the ban, insisting that LGBT people simply should not volunteer for military service. It took time to build bridges across the social divides within the LGBT community. It took on-the-spot hometown leadership by vets who were willing to engage and educate others about the facts and the impact DADT had on the thousands of LGBT service members and their families.
Older Americans, including LGBT people, are essential to the health and well-being of the nation. As a group, they vote regularly, participate in civic activities, and have a history of making time for things important to them. As we began to see older LGBT citizens taking part in civil rights activities, many have become stalwart examples of constancy and skill in local LGBT veteran organizations. They offer their time, their wisdom, and their income to ensure success of hometown efforts to educate and inform public officials about LGBT issues.
Public advocacy for an unpopular issue, one subject to displays of intolerance and hate, and fraught with strong emotions and factual misrepresentation, requires a great deal of courage. The first time an LGBT person speaks publicly, the first phone call or visit they make to elected officials, is a leap of faith, a demonstration of personal courage, and a willingness to risk a great deal in taking that step. Washington activism can be anonymous. Home town activism, however, is personal. The confluence of events in 1993, including the fight to remove the ban (which resulted in DADT’s implementation) and the March on Washington, created an opportunity for the LGBT community to discover long-term couples of older generations. Many of our elders lived quiet lives at home, coming from a time and place where
If not for two decades of local activism, today’s active duty antiDADT activists would have encountered many of the same difficulties faced by their predecessors. Instead, DADT was successfully repealed, and a large part of the credit goes to our LGBT veteran activists. Unrestricted by DoD political activity policies, LGBT veterans on duty on the hometown front remain as important now as they’ve been before as we move forward on the equality front. LGBT military veterans remain a source of experience, wisdom, knowledge, and constancy in their communities, in the state capitols and in Washington. They serve proudly on behalf of a new generation– the first generation–of actively serving LGBT service members. When you meet them, shake their hand. Tell them ‘thank you’ for refusing to give up, for refusing to accept defeat. Thank them for your freedom to serve openly.
Photographs by Jo Ann Santangelo/Redux Images Visit www.joannsantangelo.com to view the entire gallery of Proud to Serve
Petty Officer Lisa Kove was an Aviation Storekeeper in the U.S. Navy from 1978-1982. She is presently the Executive Director of DOD FED GLOBE an educational national nonprofit that advocates for all Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) employees of the Department of Defense.
Corporal Robert Potter was drafted into the Army in 1946 and reenlisted shortly after to serve from 1946-1947 in the Army Air Force. He deployed to Japan and Korea. He is a member of the Alexander Hamilton Post #448 of the American Legion, the only gay post recognized by the American Legion.
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theIssue
OSHi By HM2(SW) Jeffry Priela
OutServe Hawaii Chapter Leader Naval Health Clinic Hawaii, Makalapa Clinic
I
really wasn’t expecting to be some sort of an activist when I enlisted in the military under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) in 2005, yet somehow fate proved me wrong. This year has been most productive for the fledging OutServe Hawaii (OSHi) chapter. When I was offered the chance to be a
leader, I knew that 2011 was the year that “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” was finally going to be buried. However, like all victories, I knew the repeal of DADT would have to be held and maintained. The only way to do that was to help with the general effort of legitimizing OutServe as a strong and professional force within the military. To do this, we had to look at the very basics of military campaigns.
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chapterspotlight
Concentrate your forces The first step is to concentrate oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s forces. Being a small, concentrated island with all Services in such close proximity, we needed to expand beyond the online social network. We started doing basic events such as group hikes, beach days, dinners, movies, and other social events. This had a two-fold effect; it built morale and it established face-to-face contact between members. It also afforded me the chance to gauge the spirit of the group. Some were interested in social events, while others actually wanted to do community service. In both cases, it offered a chance for members to get together.
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chapterspotlight
Build a credible reputation The first real visibility was purely by chance. Hawaii Supreme Court Justice Sabrina McKenna, one of five openly gay Supreme Court Justices in the nation, was speaking at a local bar called Tapa’s II. She spoke about the importance of LGBT rights and how much we, as a community, can achieve a great deal if only we fought for it. OutServe Hawaii Co-lead Jeffrey Pound and I listened to the justice speak and introduced ourselves. Justice McKenna congratulated and praised OutServe for its efforts to maintain a sense of professionalism in those dark times. Justice McKenna also had a surprise guest who was also one of her biggest supporters: Hawaii Governor Neil Abercrombie. It was during this fateful meeting that we also made contact with one of our biggest civilian supporters, eXpression! Magazine. Jade Le, the editor-in-chief, was very interested in OutServe, and we promised to give her the cover story when the repeal was final. This was a promise kept. On the 1st of October, OutServe Hawaii had its members in uniform as featured on the cover of eXpression! Magazine.
Engage the community and share the credit OutServe Hawaii continued legitimizing itself as an organization as the repeal neared. We realized that we needed to expand beyond the social scene and start engaging the community, and that came in the form of a highway. We found out about Andrew Wilfahrt, a gay soldier killed in an Improvised Explosive Device (IED) blast in Afghanistan, through a report on CNN. After some investigating, we were surprised to find out that Andrew had been stationed in Schofield Barracks in the middle of Oahu. We decided to do something, and after negotiating the terms of the ‘Adopt-a-Highway’ program with the Hawaiian Department of Transportation, we set to work. Out of respect, we notified Andrew’s unit and his parents, Jeff and Lori Wilfahrt, of our intentions. We celebrated OutServe’s 1st anniversary with the initial cleanup of a beautiful stretch of Kamehameha Highway. One of our members, Rich Armstrong, who had once lived above Hula’s Bar and Lei stand, helped us coordinate a party to celebrate Andrew’s life, the anniversary of OutServe, and the family that had formed around our chapter. That celebration was our very first public event, successfully introducing OSHi to the rest of Hawaii’s LGBT community.
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Build Alliances and continue to build on success Coordinating through Facebook, we signed a partnership with Equality Hawaii, a portal to the state’s entire LGBT community. It was from Equality Hawaii that our exposure really grew. We linked up with the Gay Straight Alliance for local high schools, the Life Foundation (AIDS Research), and the Hawaii Pride Foundation. On September 17th, three days before repeal, OSHi participated in its first-ever Pride March, with 5 brave members. We also had an information booth which introduced OutServe to the greater LGBT community. Hawaii was extremely surprised to find an active, yet covert group of active duty troops forming a basic support group. When repeal finally happened on September 20th, the closet doors finally blasted open. We made front page news at the Honolulu Star Advertiser, and were featured in an interview on KHNL Hawaii News Now. In each media report, we mentioned the Cpl Andrew Wilfahrt Memorial Highway, and in each report, we stressed the importance of “mission first” and that it was “business as usual.” These simple actions resulted in the commands of our members being thoroughly impressed by the level of professionalism displayed by their service members who chose to speak with the media.
My proudest moment wasn’t being on the news, or the warm reception of OSHi at Pride. It was during the first OutServe Armed Forces Leadership Summit in Las Vegas, were I met Lori and Jeff Wilfahrt. That was a humbling and awe inspiring experience, and words simply do not do it justice. The memorial highway was our biggest project, and finally meeting Andrew’s parents struck a chord deep in my soul. During the formal dinner, I presented to them a signed and framed picture of OSHi members and the sign of our adopted road, the Cpl Andrew Wilfahrt Highway. The most heartfelt moment of the entire Summit was receiving a personal KIA band with Andrew’s name, unit and the date he died. In that briefest of moments, when I hugged Jeff and Lori, I felt their love—I felt a small piece of what Andrew must have felt for them. Andrew was very fortunate to have parents like Jeff and Lori. Truly humble, honorable people, who continue tirelessly fighting for LGBT rights, even after Andrew’s passing. Their courage and conviction inspired me to continue on our campaign and to keep moving forward in pursuit of total equality and victory.
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The NOH8 Campaign is a photographic silent protest created by celebrity photographer Adam Bouska (www.bouska.net) and partner Jeff Parshley in direct response to the passage of Proposition 8. Photos feature subjects with duct tape over their mouths, symbolizing their voices being silenced by Prop 8 and similar legislation around the world, with “NOH8” painted on one cheek in protest. Nearly three years since its inception, the NOH8 Campaign has grown to over 18,000 faces and continues to grow at an exponential rate. The campaign began with portraits of everyday Californians from all walks of life, and soon rose to include politicians, military personnel, newlyweds, law enforcement, artists, celebrities, and many more. NOH8 donated time and photos to all active service members at the 2011 Outserve Armed Forces Leadership Summit in Las Vegas. All photography by Adam Bouska. © 2011 NOH8 Campaign. All rights reserved. www.NOH8Campaign.com
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