Finding Love as Transgender People

by Lauren Pulido (He/Him/His)

It started in a place where I never thought I’d find such an authentic and beautiful type of love. I didn’t know what to expect out of Grindr, but I thought I’d give it a shot since I was newly divorced and wasn’t looking for anything serious. It started with a simple “hello” and ended in a love phenomenon beyond my wildest dreams. I wasn’t looking for her, and she wasn’t looking for me. But now that we have found one another, there is no turning back.

As a masculine transgender person, there are many things I have never been able to connect on with a partner. Whether it is discussing the effects of hormones, body changes, desires, or even masking parts of my body to cover the dysphoria, finding a partner that has an understanding of these experiences was a shot in the dark. But then I found her, a beautiful, intelligent, empathetic, passionate, transgender woman who opened my eyes to a new way of receiving and outpouring love. She opened my eyes to a new way of loving myself, a new found confidence and respect for both myself and her. She showed me a love that I never knew I needed and wanted out of life.

I had heard of what community labels “T4T” relationships before, which means both or all partners identify in some way as transgender, but never experienced it for myself. The gentleness, understanding, passion, and communication that has happened since our meeting has set my soul into a new chapter of life. Spending countless hours talking about our aspirations, experiences, family planning, and honest desires and needs out of life brought us together in a way I had never expected. In just a few short months, my heart has been healed, loved, supported, and seen in a way it never has been before. Knowing how precious and rare this type of experience and love is, you have to both do the work to really cherish it. Trust, respect, and understanding are the foundational elements of what we are building together and I know it will only grow from here. As transgender people, the world can be a mysterious and dangerous place. Intentions are not always vocalized directly by others and many in the world fetishize or deny our very existence. But together, we can be our own safe place. We can be our own home and sanctuary, and we can be our own saviors. If you haven’t found a love that screams this for you, don’t settle and keep your standards high. We are all deserving of love in the highest regard and passion. I never thought I would find it, but here it is, and I will cherish her and this love we have created together.

$500K+ Grants Awarded to Keep Pets Safe and Families Together

RedRover® has reached a milestone by awarding $572,502 in Safe Housing grants in this latest round of funding, the most ever for a single round, thanks in part to Purina and PetSmart Charities! Safe Housing grants are available up to $60,000 and can be used to build or renovate spaces dedicated to housing survivors’ pets, to create a foster program, to pay for temporary boarding, or can be used for a combination of services. Funds may also go toward routine veterinary care, emergency veterinary care, and pet deposits.

RedRover President and CEO Nicole Forsyth said, “We’re thrilled these grants can help domestic violence shelters overcome barriers to creating pet-friendly spaces, enabling even more survivors and their pets to escape abuse. We will keep working diligently to ensure that 25% of domestic violence shelters become pet friendly by 2025.”

This cycle, 11 domestic violence shelters and one animal shelter were awarded Safe Housing grants -*SEVEN shelters can welcome pets for the first time.

RedRover + Purina Purple Leash Project DV Shelter Grantees:

*The Women’s Safe House, St. Louis County, Missouri - $60,000

*Safelight Inc., Henderson County, North Carolina - $60,000

*F.A.I.T.H. Inc., Rabun County, Georgia - $60,000

*Schuylkill Hope Center, Schuylkill County, Pennsylvania - $60,000

DV Shelter Grantees:

*Sunrise of Pasco County, Inc., Pasco County, Florida - $60,000 (funded by PetSmart Charities)

*Peace River Center for Personal Development, Inc., Polk County, Florida - $60,000 (funded by PetSmart Charities)

Women’s Advocates, Ramsey County, Minnesota - $18,200

Turningpoint for Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence, Pierce and St. Croix Counties, Wisconsin - $60,000

Domestic Violence Resource Center, Washington County, Oregon - $16,502

*Steps to End Domestic Violence, Chittenden County, Vermont - $57,000 (Funded by PetSmart Charities)

YWCA of Kitsap County, Kitsap County, Washington - $40,800

Animal Shelter Grantee:

Big Sky CARES, St. Tammany Parish, Louisiana - $20,000

“Steps to End Domestic Violence is thrilled to receive RedRover’s Safe Housing grant! It increases access to our services by transforming our shelter into a pet-friendly facility,” said Executive Director Nicole Kubon. “Soon we’ll be welcoming all pets into our building, removing a significant barrier for many survivors in their efforts to flee domestic violence. No one should have to leave their pets behind and, thanks to RedRover, the people we serve won’t have to.”

“The RedRover Safe Housing grant will allow the YWCA Kitsap ALIVE Program to provide kennel boarding for pets, transportation for visits, food and initial vet Care,” said Jackie Brown, YWCA of Kitsap County Transitional Housing manager. “This will allow families to make sure their pets are safe too. Thank you RedRover!”

Stay tuned for our 25x2025 campaign launch in July, generously powered by PetSmart Charities! To learn how you can help, visit 25by2025.org.

Safe Housing grant application deadlines are March 1, June 1, and September 1. To learn more, visit: RedRover.org/SafeHousing.

Pets and Domestic Violence:

As many as 71% of pet-owning women entering DV shelters reported their abuser injured, killed, or threatened family pets (F.R. Ascione)

Up to 48% of DV victims reported delaying leaving an abuser for fear of what would happen if they left their pets behind (F.R. Ascione)

91% of survivors indicated their pets’ emotional support and physical protection are significant in their ability to survive and heal

Currently, only 17% of DV shelters nationwide are pet friendly (“pet friendly” means shelters can accept companion animals/pets, in addition to service and emotional support animals)

About RedRover

Founded in 1987, RedRover focuses on bringing animals out of crisis and strengthening the human-animal bond through emergency sheltering, disaster relief services, financial assistance, and education. Since 2012, RedRover has awarded 197 grants to shelters in 46 states, totaling more than $3.6 million and providing more than 443,000 safe nights for pets. Additionally, Safe Housing grants have created the first pet-friendly domestic violence shelter in 10 states! RedRover has earned a coveted 4-star rating from Charity Navigator, America’s largest independent charity evaluator. To learn how RedRover is creating a more compassionate world, visit RedRover.org.