A Caregiver’s Story
Caregiving is taxing. That’s why AARP Hawai‘i advocates for tax credit programs, holds workshops and offers resources for kūpuna and their caregivers.
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hen Puni Kekauoha thought about retiring, she imagined traveling the world, working on hobbies and enjoying life with friends. But when her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2009, she put those plans aside. Kekauoha has been caregiving ever since, first for her mother, who died in 2018, and now for her father, who has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. “For us local people who have been fortunate to be raised well by our parents and grandparents, that choice to give up those things is a no-brainer,” Kekauoha says. “A loved one needs my help and you
realize how much they sacrificed for you, and it overshadows everything else.” Kekauoha’s situation is not uncommon in Hawai‘i. A 2021 AARP Hawai‘i survey found 32%, or nearly a third, of residents 45 and older are providing unpaid care to an adult relative or friend. In the United States, about 48 million adult family caregivers spend about 26% of their income on average caring for loved ones; that’s about $7,242 annually. COVID-19 magnified those sacrifices, with 42% of caregivers spending more time and money on their loved ones. Caregiving is never easy, but for people taking care of others with conditions like Kekauoha’s parents, it can be especially emotionally taxing. By the end of her life, Kekauoha’s mother had reverted back to her childhood and no longer recognized her grandchildren or Kekauoha herself. Her father is not always cooperative and is heavier and stronger than her mother was. Even with an extended family to coordinate caregiving and a strong supportive network through her church, Kekauoha struggled. In 2016, she had a stroke while standing at the foot of her mom’s bed. She had another a year later. “The amount of stress I put on myself took me out,” Kekauoha says. “You don’t have time to care for yourself. I wasn’t sleeping well or eating well.” One source of support for caregivers AARP.ORG/HI
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