Daddy Diary

When PakMag approached me to pen this column some five and a half years ago, the brief was simple. "Just write about having kids". Easy right?

It's been simple enough to keep me in the gig for over half a decade, but today I'm afraid that all changes. Today I go directly against that brief and write about the exact opposite. Today I write about not having kids (or any more kids, at least), because that's the future my wife and I face 48 hours after I did it. I got the snip.

Right now, a packet of frozen peas is my best friend in the world. Sure, there's a box of Panadol and some prescription pain killers strong enough to sedate an elephant on my bedside table, but I'm finding the most effective pain relief is a $1.70 pack of Woolies snap frozen peas. Let's just say they won't end up on the

Head to Parents and Kids of North Queensland YouTube Channel to see Bree’s up close interview with Cliffo.

dinner plate by the time I'm done with them. You see, my vasectomy was anything but routine. And, at the risk of putting blokes all over Townsville off the procedure, I am going to write about it. You've been warned.

The snip can be a pretty minor procedure these days. Many blokes even get it done in the chair. I was told very early on by my GP that that wasn't going to be me. The good doctor informed my wife and I that about 1 in 100 dudes have a vas deferens (the tube they cut) that is hard to separate. I was that 1 in 100, and turns out the GP was correct. I was in theatre for 2 hours while the surgeon patiently worked away at the separation. Old mate earned his pay that day.

Unfortunately, the extended search time also resulted in a much bigger incision wound. What is usually two key sized holes became a whopping 5cm gash. Hence my appreciation for the cold bag of peas right now.

But despite all this, I have no regrets. None at all. I have my beautiful wife, two amazing kids and a pound cat named Taco. That's family enough for me.

The tap is officially off, and despite the "anything but standard" snip I endured, I'm still 100 per cent aware it comes nowhere near what so many women go through every day in our city while actually giving birth. You guys are the real heroes.

Well, you guys and packets of frozen peas. Not all heroes wear capes.

Cliffo Hit 103.1 Townsville