Palatinate Indigo Issue 716

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23.02.2010


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elcome to the Olympic Edition of indigo. This month is forecast to be total ‘‘Snowmageddon” (As President Obama put it recently) and what with the Olympic events at Whistler going on, we give you the lowdown on the snowdown. Tell us what you think and get involved at indigo@palatinate.org.uk.

Indigo

This Edition’s indigo Inspiration has been: ‘Folk & Proud’ album on Spotify Greek Gods and Spartan Battles Durham’s Vintage Fashion Fair Hurdling instead of walking Passion Pit, Metronomy & Toy Story OST 6 Nations Rugby ‘Starstrukk’ - 3OH!3 feat. Katy Perry

Features

Food

Durham/Facebook to ask students what they would do if they were a girl and one day woke up with morning wood, or what a guy would do if he woke up with 32DD’s. Here’s the best of the lot: T. Willmott: “I’d probably try and get laid to experience it from “the otherside.” Cathy Bois: “Random! Don’t know, probably masturbate...” KC Charmley: ”Good question. The first answer that springs to mind is watch 1940s movies with Clark Gable to see if he is as attractive as everyone says.” Laura Clohessy : “Scratch my balls, have a wank, get in a fight, have sex, eat in a way only guys can, have a pint and play video games just to see if I was actually any better.”

Fashion

Students Charlotte Bettley and Charlie Rimmer are petitioning for a Durham University Quidditch Team after Nottingham Uni tried and failed to make one. It is now a major sport at University of Washington. See the Facebook Group for more info!

What would you do if you were the opposite sex for a day? indigo took to the streets of

Travel

While Pancake Day may be over, our love for them remains. Well, you bought that golden syrup - its gottta be used til it’s finished!

Nicola Farley: “Pee standing up.” Liza Miller: “I’d burp and fart a lot.” Alex Mansell: “Um learn how to use a penis ... to put it in places.” Ally Bacon: “Do a cartwheel and see if it er, feels different...”

Toy Story 3 - If the movie is anything as incredibly awesome as the trailer, which has just been released, be VERY excited for June 18th!

Rach Rodgers: “Why, are you planning on making me into a man for a day!?” Jonny Allen “See if a thong really is that comfortable, then bake a cake, and then see if I can actually parallel park.” Dan Dyson: “Do my washing and cleaning, and make lots of sandwiches for myself when I turn back into a man.”

“Like an overly gassy Jarlsberg, Durham has for too long had a great big hole in its midriff; a hole that is about to be finally filled - by the new Durham Uni Cheese Society!” See Facebook for more cheesy tips!

Poetry Corner

The plight of a snowboard contestant Yes it is true, it was me you saw, Flying, soaring, staring at the cold sun. But perhaps I stared too long, For it was also me you saw Falling-crashing into that bank of snow Broken-bent snowboard wedged in thigh. Oh yes, it was me. But do not think anything of it young one, Because it was also me who won.

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FLICKR ID: MCARETAKER

The 35th Durham Drama Festival starts this Thursday til Saturday, bringing the best new writing of Durham students from page to stage. Over 3 days, 12 new plays will be performed to the public and judged by a host of internationally renowned professionals. Witness at The Assembly Rooms what will be some fantastic theatre, and look out for ongoing free workshops too!

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Lifestyle Features The weird world of chatroulette

Palatinate investigates the latest internet phenomenon: chatting with randoms via your webcam... Alison Bouissou

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Maybe it would help if I tried the actual chat thing: somewhat reluctantly I ‘allow’ access, but disable my webcam right away. Baby steps. Flicking through the faces like

ave you heard of Chatroulette? Of course you have, in fact it seems everyone around me has tried this open chat network through which anyone with an internet connection and a webcam can “This isn’t a mosaic of interact live humanity, it’s a video with…well, everyone else. collection of the world’s An endless sequence of biggest procrastinators” strangers, “the whole of humanity at the click of a mouse” a friend said to me the other day. It’s a new age of communications; it completely redefines the concept of space. Well I wouldn’t want to miss out on so exciting an innovation. So I tried to forget my unfortunate initial encounter, in which the first image on my screen turned out to the be a young man doing what his predecespages RUSS NEUMEIER sors only did in their bedroom closets or of Real People magazine, I finally come in a bathroom with the door locked, and I across a girl whose eyes haven’t yet glazed decided to give Chatroulette a chance. over from prolonged inertia and type a The site is accessible without usertentative ‘hey’. Barely 30 seconds have name or password, leaving its users lapsed by the time she’s told me this is “so anonymous. Press ‘Start’ and a window much fun”, that she’s bored, and that judgpops up: “chatroulette.com is requesting ing from the lack of visuals I’m providing I access to your camera and microphone. must be some “really ugly dude”, and then: If you click Allow, you may be recorded”. User disconnected…reconnecting… Well that’s a little intrusive to start with, If this experience has redefined anyI think I’d rather just observe the action thing, it’s my understanding of the word that is already unfolding in the upper left tedious. This isn’t a mosaic of humanity, corner. A man, staring blankly into space. it’s a video collection of the world’s bigUser disconnected…reconnecting… A gest procrastinators doing what comes girl, looking bored. User disconnected… most naturally to them: nothing. In the reconnecting… Oops, another exhibibest-case scenario. “You don’t do it to tionist! As I desperately click the ‘Next’ meet people”, my friend reassured me and button, I’m beginning to feel a little sick. added, “I’m addicted”.

Well alright, in theory it’s a fascinating development away from the era of MSN and the advent of emoticons that helped spotty teenagers with stage fright to declare their love for one another from the security and comfort of their own desks. No more virtual relationships, no more sentimental acronyms (my personal pet peeve in that

statement: the entire concept of Chatroulette has little to do with a new form of humanism. On the contrary, it’s the process of depersonalization pushed to the extreme. The user publishes nothing but a manufactured image that loses its connection to the author in the same instant as it enters the network’s public arena. And in a way this is the most exact manifestation of the nature of virtual transactions that I have witnessed to date. The only remaining problem then is that of the relationship between the users of Chatroulette and the images they produce. A certain level of dissociation always occurs between a person and the “To all of those concerned: product of their actors, please, stop touching yourselves.” creativity: writers, and artists in general systemdomain was atically experience it. The difference is that HH for ‘holdwhat these people produce will usually be ing hands’: the reflected back to them by an audience and cringe-factor just goes thus recover some personal relation to its through the roof). Only author. In the world of Chatroulette imagexchanging fragments of everyday life and es are projected only against other images, moving on, perpetually forward to the and what is published is lost, permanently next moment so that your experience, and cut off from the person who produced you, doesn’t disappear into the collective it. The implications of this are yet to be amnesia. observed, and I’m not one to say whether Yet something continues to perplex the outcome will be positive. What I can me: if this new form of virtual interaction say is that attention must be drawn to the is no longer about meeting people, what is somewhat schizophrenic aspect involved there? Some kind of mutually consented in the process: not everyone is an artist, voyeurism, where exhibitionist meets but now everyone is producing images. So peeping Tom in a constantly renewed everyone must learn to handle it. series of anonymous encounters with In the end, the main thing we should virtually no significance? Anonymity repeat to ourselves over and over with combined with absolute visibility, perregard to Chatroulette in the same way petually repeated with an almost mechani- as with Facebook, Twitter, etc., is that cal regularity…well, wasn’t Warhol quite everything we publish is, public. And to all the modern prophet! I believe I’m going of those concerned: please, stop touching to have to disagree with my friend’s initial yourselves. That’s just visual assault.

To tan or not to tan? Alex Mansell

The air is crisp, the cobbles icy, snow is falling all around. And then you see a bright orange girl walking past and wonder which season you’re actually in. Fake tan is a phenomenon to most boys, who can’t see why girls want to make their skin a dozen tones darker, especially in the bleak winter months when scarves and leggings cover most of the skin anyway. Many girls too don’t see the logic behind it, but there are many, especially in Durham, who have fallen under its spell. I first used it for a cave girl themed party at the start of uni. And haven’t stopped using it since. I had the phase of never feeling dark enough and, despite the pleas of my housemates, set to applying yet another layer whenever I felt pale. I remember one night walking into the bar and receiving strange looks, and it was only when I looked in the mirror that I realised I had quite literally been Tangoed. Not a good

look. I like to think I’m past that stupidity now, and although I still use tan fairly often, I don’t obsess about it. I like to think I’m giving myself a natural glow, regardless of how natural it actually is.

I can see why people think it’s stupid and superfluous; for a start, it’s expensive stuff, and you only get a few uses from one bottle. Another major downside is the inevitable pale hands/brown wrist syndrome; I’ve never been able to get my hands quite the same

colour. And then there’s the occasionally tragic consequences of using the wash-off variety: just last week I was walking along the cobbles when it suddenly started to hail and I realised I didn’t have my umbrella. Now this would have been fairly annoying to anyone, but even worse for me was when I reached my destina-

speckled self. And let’s face it, the smell of fake tan is a major turn off. Although many claim to have a summery smell about them, the inevitable scent that mixing a load of chemicals together provides is strange and potent, not provocative. However, I’m not going to be like every woman’s magazine and say, “Hey, embrace being pale, you’re an English rose and you’re FABULOUS!” Instead, I’ll say if tanning gives you confidence and brightens up an otherwise winter day (and provided “I looked in the mirror and dull you don’t take it too far) why you indulge in a realised I had quite literally shouldn’t little colour therapy? I for one don’t want to waste my been Tangoed” NATASHA CORAL summer lying on a field trying tion and saw my brown arms specked with to convince my skin to turn brown, and white: only then did I realise my wash-off my winter trying to cover up the distinct tan had indeed washed off wherever the whiteness of my skin. So in answer to the hail had hit it, and I had to spend the rest question ‘To tan or not to tan?’, I say, well... of the day trying to hide my ridiculous do what you like...

Undercover Agnostic Our undercover agnostic is attending Student Alpha at the Appleby rooms, Church Street, Durham. The course runs all term, and is hosted by King’s and Emmanuel churches. For more information, contact alpha@kcd.org.uk. This term I’ve been attending Alpha, a nationwide scheme aimed at providing non-churchgoers with an opportunity to explore the Christian faith. In Durham, the course is hosted by students once a week on a Thursday evening. I’d been invited to go along by a close friend – an active Christian who’d often challenged me about my beliefs. Deciding that it’s something too important to leave in doubt, the Alpha course seemed like the perfect way to get an answer to those difficult questions. Each meeting follows a similar pattern: dinner, followed by a short video and a period of group discussion. The course covers a different question every week, ranging from ‘Who is Jesus?’ to ‘How does God guide us?’ At first, the course content appears prescriptive, with a bias towards Christianity’s own ideas. But going into the discussion periods, it’s clear that the hosts want to try to answer the bigger questions. “If God is perfect, why did he create humans with the capability to sin?” To which one of the Christian hosts answers, “It’s to do with choice”. God gave man free will and he chose to sin. Like a parent who lets a child make their own decisions, humans have to be accountable for their own actions.” For a moment, I was convinced. “So did this perfect God know that he was creating humans who would go on to sin?” The answer was easy: “Yes”. “But that’s why Jesus came – he took the burden from humans”. Understandably, Christians are most comfortable when talking about Jesus. This is something which often makes addressing the bigger questions difficult. A strongly Christian theology can appear evasive – an attractive answer to the greatest of human concerns. If you accept that Jesus lived, died and was resurrected, you have the answer to the lot. The Alpha course focuses on Jesus, providing its own evidence to prove Jesus’ indentity. Their methodology mixes contemporary accounts with modern interpretation. At one point, we are told of the blood and water which came from Jesus’ side after he was pierced by a Roman spear. “Modern medicine now knows that this was a pleural effusion – a leaking of the fluid which had collected in his lungs”. The use of science to explain scripture seemed to be a token gesture. Alpha certainly achieves its aim of posing stimulating questions about Christianity’s nature and beliefs. It’s brought me much closer to understanding why my friends believe in Jesus. But I’m just not sure that a seven week evening course is capable of changing my views on life, death and the beyond.


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Features On sorrow: what is happiness? Alan Bowman

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ometimes, life’s a bitch. We’ve all been there. It’s 3am. You’re alone and wish you weren’t. You’re half-cut. You have a pile of summative essays just waiting to cripple your social life. You have job applications to complete, and to top it all off, you’re skint. You’re tired, but you can’t sleep. You can never sleep. You lie in bed scrutinizing every little act and interaction of the day. Is it superficial to be You’re sitting on Facebook mindlessly scrolling through happy, and does being your news feed wondering what the fuck life is all about sad show depth of and why you’re getting dealt all of the crap cards in the character?” giant metaphorical poker tournament that is your life. You’ve got plenty of reason to someone who feel a little down. has experienced According to MIND, one of the UK’s some kind of biggest mental health charities, around 300 mental illness. per 1,000 people in the UK experience Depression some form of mental health problem every in particular, is year. To couch this in terms of our glorious a huge problem student bubble, during your university in our country. career (I’m assuming that you’re here for I’ll spare you the three years – apologies to the engineers, language students, postgrads and The most enlightened other enlightened individuals), around 15,300 of your fellow students will people of all are those experience some kind of mental health who have experienced problem. great sorrow” Within the rather vague umbrella term ‘mental illness’, the three big guns that place one of the biggest burdens agony of reeling on our healthcare services are mixed anxioff more pointety and depression, (around 10% of the less statistics population), general anxiety (around 5% (they do get tiresome), but suffice to say,

depression has its hands well and truly

JAMES KING

of the population) and depression without anxiety (about 3% of the population. This means that when you are standing in Klute after a fine night of culture, conversation and liquid refreshment, the chances are that you will be within arm’s reach of

part of being human? The psychologists amongst you (God bless you, you beautiful human beings) will immediately be thinking “well, surely

“During your university career, around 15,300 of your fellow students will experience some kind of mental health problem.”

gripped around the neck of Great Britain, and it doesn’t seem to want to let go. It has grown to the extent that those of a philosophical disposition have began to ask if depression is just ‘normal’. Perhaps a

that depends how we define “normality”? Right you are. From a statistical perspective, we can say that a trait, condition or whatever, is ‘normal’ if it is frequent. Most people have two eyes, so this state must be normal. The poor Cyclops at the back of your lecture hall is statistically infrequent and therefore ‘abnormal’. I’m not a fan of this position. Just because something is frequent doesn’t make it normal, or desirable (and conversely, sometimes infrequent things are the most desired – winning the lottery for example). Plenty of people have AIDS but that doesn’t mean I want to catch it. Normality is characterised by a process of value judgements, and it is this, which defines what is normal and what is not. Consequently, I would argue that as prevalent as depression is in our world, it is definitely not an intrinsic part of being human. On the topic of value judgements however, a related question arose as I was writing this. Is it superficial to be happy, and does being sad show depth of character? This is quite easy to imagine. The ditsy, upbeat cheerful individual, with

not a care in the world, but as deep as a paddling pool, compared to the brooding, lachrymose character who has more layers than a fashion conscious Russian during the coldest of winters. This is where things get complicated. On one hand, we have a position that argues that ‘depression’ (I use this in its loosest sense) is an undesirable mental state, yet on the other hand, I’m sure we all take a look at ‘sad’ things and think “man that’s deep”. I personally find a lot of Radiohead songs rather depressing for example, but appreciate them all the more because of the stories they tell and the ‘depth’ they display. The Buddhist perspective seems to resolve the dilemma in the most elegant way. In short, they believe that sadness enlightens you in contrast to those who are always happy. The most enlightened people of all however, are those who have experienced great sorrow, but have dealt with it and have experienced happiness once again. These are the people with a true depth of character, a soul, and a high amount of wisdom. I once read somewhere that ‘when you are successful, you are happy, and when you fail, you are wise’. So in answer to the question of whether sad people have depth of character, I would say, to an extent, but the deepest people have bounced back. On that note, I’d like to end this where I started. You may be feeling down for whatever reason, be it academia or your personal life. We all have deadlines, we are all stressed and we all have our personal problems and cognitive demons to wrestle with. But take a leaf out of the Buddhist’s book and for God’s sake, cheer up.

Why winter should not be overlooked

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” Actually, our writer prefers the joys of a winter’s night...

Daniel Dyson

it the height of entertainment to spend sixteen hours a day horizontal, channelling It is perhaps the greatest cliché out there their inner pig and essentially frazzling in for us Brits – complaining about the the sunlight. Personally, whilst a tan may weather. Whether it’s the middle of June or look good, skin cancer is never sexy and March, conditions never seem to be right. whilst I won’t lie, I’m biased in my love for Whilst part of it is probably just the lack winter, the concept of a ‘winter worshipof anything else to moan about, the fickle per’ is almost impossible to understand. thing that is British weather is something Whilst I’m from the North (and that can get even the mildest mannered therefore closer to polar bears) declaring person riled. your love for winter is equivalent to kickWinter in particular is a concept that ing puppies, as surely nobody would like angers: it’s constantly dark, cold and the weather when the rest of the natural often slippery which world appears to hardly seems like be asleep. For some “The pleasures and ease the recipe for a good people, depression time. Indeed, many in winter is a serious of warming up are always people flee the UK thing; sufferers of if they can in the superior to the stress and SAD have more search for friendlier than a valid excuse hassle of cooling down.” climes. You could to shun the season even argue that if they can but there many people view the lack of sun as an are a plurality of things to do and enjoy that obstacle against any good time when this is are only possible when its freezing. just not true. Snow related activities are almost We are all familiar with the concept of unlimited. Whilst I could extol the many sun worshippers. These people find virtues of snowmen or snow angels or even

snowball fights – igloo building is where it’s at. Why not appreciate the chance to do as the Eskimos (or is it Inuits?) do and build your own snow/ ice related dwelling? From experience I can tell you that it’s a lot harder than it looks but its fun to try! Of course, snow is often in short supply – unless we’re talking the near-apocalyptic winter of last month – but if you get the chance, it is definitely worth the effort. And of course, I’ve not even mentioned the massive array of winter related sports out there. Skiing, snowboarding, ice hockey - all these are as thrilling a sport as anything in the Summer Olympics. It’s such a shame that the coverage isn’t greater, especially as you can hardly put off a match due to bad weather conditions when that’s the entire point. Winter is a great time of year though

because it gets the mixture of indoor activities and outdoor ones just right. If you want to go out and play in the snow all day, that’s just as rewarding as the opportunity to curl by the fire and read a good book. Winter is the truly relaxing time as everything is calm and quiet.

‘Articulate’ which we still discuss (partially because the surprising amount of competitive spirit when it comes to board games nobody expected one of my flatmates to possess) which, had it been summer, we never would have played nor enjoyed. Whilst summer picnics and Brown Boat trips are all good, the advantages of winter are out there, even if its just the chance to snuggle up “Nobody expects much together with a good DVD. Plus, pleasures and ease of warming energy from you so if you the up are always superior to the stress and hassle of cooling down. don’t feel like going out, And whilst putting on layers can you really don’t have to” be hassle, it can also be a lot of fun to customise your clothes in ways summer just doesn’t allow. Nobody expects much energy The weird thing is that nobody can refrom you so if you don’t feel ally explain their dislike of winter properly. CLEARLY AMBIGUOUS like going out, you really don’t It seems to be something standard to comhave to and there are plenty of opportuniplain about. So I urge you to think twice ties to spend some good quality time with about winter and give it a second chance as your friends which doesn’t necessarily it slips away for this year. You’ll often find involve getting blindly drunk and groping that even if the weather isn’t that much fun, your way home. Fairly recently, a group the times you have and the things you can of friends and I had a rather epic game of do often are.


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Palatidating: The Battle of the Bachelors How did your college fare? The A-Team tell all from their dates with guys from Cuth’s, Trevs, Castle and Chad’s

Name:James Gyselynck College: Castle

Mr Trevs

The competition is still open for the other colleges! How to nominate yourself or a friend: Simply e-mail us with: 1) The name of the applicant. 2) His college. (Not one of the ones featured in this edition!) 3) A few lines describing hobbies and interests.

feature@palatinate.org.uk We will repsond via e-mail to let you know if you’ve secured a date. Good luck !

Mr Castle ALASTAIR BARBER/ELECTRICINCA

Mr Chad’s

Name: Guy Brumfield College: Trevs

of ‘banter’, which was severely lacking. Thankfully there were two of the famous renditions of ‘Happy Birthday’ that Spags is so well-known for to bring a refreshing break to an otherwise sometimes rather The first date was always going to be the most daunting. However, my first impres- stilted conversation. And I’m not going to lie here, we were sion of Mr Trevs was a good one: he was sat opposite a table of about a dozen well-dressed, polite and friendly and I fine male specimens of the Durham could tell it was going to be an amicable breed and it was rather difficult to keep and easy evening. focussed on the The date task at hand. Restarted rather “It was lacking a certain je ne maining profesabruptly as our sional, however, I waiter (the least sais quoi. Actually, I do sais resisted the urge cheerful person to find some reain the world by quoi: that oh-so-Durham son to go and talk the way) asked to them (“Oh, the us what we concept of ‘banter’” salad bar is that wanted practiway, silly me!”). cally as soon We got on fine, but that’s all I can as we’d sat down. Mr Trevs was keen to say; I can think of no better adjective to order wine, but I was still suffering the sum it all up. He’s a great guy but there effects of a ridiculously heavy social the just wasn’t the pazzaz I was looking for, night before and the thought of it made and I think it’s fair to say he’s someone’s me sick, so I was, I’m ashamed to say, on Prince Charming but not mine. the water. This may have been an error, On departing, the awkwardness of as a bit of wine may have made us both having to say goodbye was very much more relaxed and less self-conscious of aided by a crazy/drunk local who was why we were actually here. “out on a school night” demanding to Mr Trev’s was nice enough, but it felt know where the place to be was that more like I was chatting with a friend night. than a potential amoreux. Don’t get me So all in all I had a good time, but the wrong, we had good conversation over shared interests, but overall it was lacking only sparks that were flying were those from the precariously placed candles on a certain je ne sais quoi. Actually, I do the edge of the table. sais quoi: that oh-so-Durham concept

Name: Tom Dobson College: Chad’s

ALASTAIR BARBER/ELECTRICINCA

tion, I have never been one to champion the merits of my former hexagonal home. Plus, his insistence of needing to leave not only to do his essay but to discover When I was told my next ‘assignment’ who had won ‘Senior Man’ was a tad was a Castleman affectionately known as insulting. Being deserted so your date ‘Geeza’, I was a little hesitant. But whilst can discover the results of JCR exec elecwe had been warned by the friend who tions is slightly akin to someone bailing nominated him that he had “an eye for on your social engagement to find out the ladies”, who has won Big it was clear Brother. It feels a “What I did manage to glean little that during bit like social our whole suicide. date (com- from my hurried date is that Even more prising of so when you’re Castle students LOVE Castle.” stranded in Durham one hasty course of an evening, refusonly) his mind was elsewhere. Not ing to go home since you donned your another lady, on the summative essay he best heels (well New Look, but we’re had due the next day. talking student budget here) and painsNow kudos to Mr Castle for coming takingly blowdrying the type of hairstyle out to represent his college when he had that calls for heavy-duty specialist help. thousands of as-then-unwritten words So I did what any resourceful, Cosmodue the next day, but less kudos for makgirl/ modern, ahem, ‘feminist’ would ing it so apparent he needed to leave. I do. I hobbled to Tescos and scanned my almost contemplated ordering dessert on phonebook for someone to rescue me my own. from the torment of standing in a dress in What I did manage to glean from a supermarket feigning interest in former my hurried date is that Castle students soap stars’ weight-loss videos. LOVE Castle. I’ve never quite appreciAnd who was it who finally rescued ated the finer points of college spirit me from this plight? None other than myself, regarding Trevs as more a fond my Mr Cuths from the night before, who aunt I now rarely see than the centre of whisked me back to my beloved Fabio’s. my existence. This is, I’d always imagined, Am now just slightly concerned as to the due to natural inclination. Mr Castle, opinions the bar staff may have formed however, seemed only too quick to assert of me. Two dates in two days. With two that it was due to the inferiority of my men in one evening. And still six more college. Or so it seemed. A fan of depreca- dates left to go!

Mr Cuth’s DANIEL BACON/ELECTRICINCA

Rivera, but was just as at home discussing my bizarre holiday to Benidorm or irrational fear of apple stickers. Reporting on conversation any On paper, Mr Cuth’s would not have more would be a tad difficult, since we been ‘my type’ at all. I find it rather dubibypassed the standard favourite colour/ ous when people from the North don’t childhood pet questions and started on have accents. Plus he uses the word ‘ban- the nitty gritty over the main course, ter’ in general conversation, owns decent- presumably helped by the bottle of red looking shoes and went to private school. he suggested we share (thus earning A sneaky Facebook stalk prior to the date him definite plus points). Most details also revealed to me he was a member disclosed were followed by a declaration of one of those ‘jokey’ women-belongof “this is off the record”. My decision to in-the-kitchen-type groups that usually dispense with the idea of scribbling hasty have my angry notes in the loos inner-feminist wa- “Certainly he ticked the on my handbagvering between sized notepad (no the options fundamentals of every girl’s joke, did consider of a nunnery it a necessity) and and lesbianview my evening mental date checklist.” ism. However, with Mr Cuth’s as a having recently real date. been advised by a certain friend that my Certainly he ticked the fundamentype had only thus far amounted to ‘indif- tals of every girl’s mental date checklist. ferent and weird’, I thought it more than Wore a shirt, selected the wine, compliadvisable to give Date #1 a chance. mented my dress and even footed the I think it was halfway through the bill at the end of the meal. A meal which starter that I realised my judgemental first actually went so well we were in Spag’s impressions were definitely wrong. There til the bitter end, indeed until it looked was a touch of rah-lad, with all the obliga- suspiciously like we might be booted out. tory un-PC jokes and innuendos, but Good thing that Fabio’s was just upstairs every potentially-offensive line was deliv- with a fully-stocked bar to allow a few ered in a generally disarming fashion and more hours of healthy banter! with a healthy dose of self-deprecation thrown in. Mr Cuth’s may favour Russian literature, Cuban gin and holidays in the

DANIEL BACON/ELECTRICINCA

Name: Sam Richards Coll- er...Society: Cuth’s

and safety hazard and that it was bound to happen on one of the dates, but was glad when he took his less than smooth move well and laughed it off. I’ve got to say, though, there was no awkwardness at all and as the date went on it became less of a Palatinate assignment and more of a genuinely pleasurable experience. Actually, it was pretty much like that from the start: charisma

I started out on Date #2 feeling a little more confident than the first date, but remained rather nervous at the prospect of having to spend an evening with a total stranger. However, my fears were allayed when I saw my date for the night. The first thing I noticed about Mr “The first thing I noticed was his Chad’s was his cheeky yet endearcheeky yet endearing smile and that ing smile and that air of effortless air of effortless charm some people charm some people have about have about them.” them. According to his application, he was, much like me, into ‘high jinks and and charm came naturally to him, and merriment’, and I hoped this would set he converted this into a great date with the tone of the date. good chemistry. And unlike the previous I was right: conversation flowed free date, time passed by quickly and I found and easy, and unlike my previous sober myself wanting to just keep talking. night, so did the alcohol. We realised we’d somewhat outstayed After a while trying to discern what our welcome when the waiter came kind of shape rigatone pasta was, Mr and brought our bill over without any Chad’s attempted to ask our waiter (the prompting from us that we were ready to same ridiculously indifferent one from leave. I was surpised to look around and the other date) to no avail. We accidently see only one other couple in what was a started slating him and his poor form previously buzzing restarurant, and don’t without realising he was actually right know if that was due to the half bottle of next to us. Hope he’s not reading this... wine and Sex On The Beach I’d had or That was one of a number of amusing the engaging repartee of the night’s date. occurrences on the date, including Mr I’m thinking probably the latter... Chad’s burning himself on the candle wax. I knew those things were a health


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Food & Drink Season Sense Lydia Ashby

Leeks- A close relation to the onion, but with a much sweeter taste, leeks are versatile and can be used in a number of dishes, such as stews and pies. They can also be made into vegetable side dishes, such as Leek Gratin. Purple Sprouting Broccoli – The long, leafy stalks of purple sprouting broccoli are as delicious as the purple heads. Delicious steamed and served with melted butter, or added to a stir fry. Oranges – Marmalade is made using Seville or Malaga oranges, both of which have a surprisingly short season. But if you’re not feeling adventurous enough to venture into the realms of the preserve, use segments of oranges in salad with beetroot, cashew nuts and chicken. Rhubarb (forced)- The beautiful pink stalks can be used in compotes and crumbles. They taste especially delicious when combined with flavours such as orange, plum and vanilla. They do require sugar though to counteract their surprising acidity. Serve with dollops of natural yoghurt or ice cream. But, do not eat rhubarb raw as it is poisonous when uncooked!

then return to the pan to reheat when needed, taste and serve. For the main course, Chicken Stew with Mustard Mashed Potatoes – this dish saves on washing up because it is all prepared in one pot. As if that wasn’t good enough, there is much nutritional goodness from the vegetables, which also soak up the chicken juices, making this dish full of flavour.

Kirstie Hopkins

Cooking a simple dinner for six people is the perfect remedy if you are bored of summatives, or simply want a different way to spend your evening. This is a really easy menu that anyone can perfect for only £30. It is quick and tasty. The focus of these dishes is on the winter months; not only are they filling and warming, but they can be adapted to use seasonal ingredients such as leeks, carrots and purple sprouting broccoli.

Preparation time: 10 mins. Cooking time: 30 mins. Ingredients: 6 chicken breasts 3 cubed large onions 12 medium, finely chopped potatoes 6 peeled and quartered carrots - peeled and chopped into chunks, 3 chicken stock cubes Dried mixed herbs Salt and Pepper.

To start: a Roasted Vegetable Soup, packed with nutrients to help beat any winter bugs. This can be made in advance and reheated for 10 minutes, (until boiling). Serve with fresh crusty bread and stir a whirl of cream through to give the soup an extra velvetiness. Preparation time: 10 minutes. Cooking: 30 minutes - 1 hour. Ingredients: 2 pints vegetable stock 2kg/4lb mixed vegetables (anything you have in the fridge or that you like e.g. carrots, onions, peppers, potatoes, courgette, mushrooms, leeks) 3 tbsp olive oil and salt and pepper. 
 Herbs e.g. a few sprigs of rosemary, thyme or sage leaves, garlic, lemon juice, Worcestershire/ketchup to taste.

Heat a generous amount of oil in a saucepan and add the chicken breasts which have been cut into bite size chunks. Keep the heat low and cook the chicken until it goes white all over. Chop the onions finely and add to the chicken. Cook gently until the onion has softened. Stir in a teaspoon of mixed herbs, a few of the potatoes and carrots. Fill the pan two thirds full of water and bring to the boil. Whilst waiting, wash, peel and chop 3lb potatoes for the mash. Place them in a pan of cold water, bring to the boil and simmer for about 30 minutes until soft. When the chicken is boiling, add the stock cubes and simmer for 25 - 30 minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste. There is no strict time keeping here, but the longer it is left, the softer the chicken will be. Once the potatoes are soft, drain and mash adding milk, butter, salt and pepper. Then, stir in about 6 desert spoons of Dijon mustard and serve with the chicken.

Preheat the oven to 200C/400F/Gas 6. Chop the vegetables into bite sized pieces. Place in a roasting tin with the oil, seasoning, herbs and lemon juice (if using).
 Bake for 30-40 minutes until the vegetables are tender and well browned.
 Place in a saucepan with the vegetable stock. Bring to the boil and simmer on a low heat for 5 minutes. Cool. Finally, blend the mixture,

Everyone will find room to squeeze in a Hot Chocolate Fondant. Preparation time: 15 minutes. Cooking time: 13 minutes. Ingredients: 250g/9oz plain chocolate (containing minimum 60% cocoa solids) 250g/9oz unsalted butter 135g/6oz plain flour 30g/1oz cocoa 2 eggs 200g/7oz caster sugar Preheat the oven to 200C/400F. Melt the plain chocolate with the same amount of butter in a heatproof bowl over simmering water. Make sure you keep stirring the chocolaty mixture so it doesn’t catch. Remove the bowl of melted chocolate from pan of water and allow to cool. Sieve the plain flour with cocoa powder in a bowl. In another bowl whisk two eggs with the caster sugar until pale and fluffy

(use an electric whisk preferably) Fold in the melted mixture and combine well. Finally, fold in the flour and spoon into greased ramekins. This can be prepared ahead and chilled. From cold, bake for about 13 minutes until the top loses its shine – it should be gooey in the middle. Dust with icing sugar and serve with ice cream. These are simple and really easy ideas, particularly fun to do with a friend to impress others. With a little care, it can be easy to source local and cheap ingredients. Especially good is the indoor market, which sells nearly all the ingredients and the greengrocers, Robinsons and Jeeves on North Road. Their produce tends to be fresher, cheaper and more nutritional than the produce from the supermarket shelves. But the most important thing is to prepare in advance so that you can enjoy the evening. And look forward to all the reciprocating invitations you’ll get back to dinner. Happy cooking!

What’s in your lunchbox?

Tired of bland and insubstantial sanwiches? Save money by making your own FLICKR ID: CARMYARMY-

Wild Nettles – When cooked, nettles wilt down and taste very similar to spinach. Foraging for nettles is a free and healthy option. Pick only the most tender tips of the nettle (wear gloves for this bit). When cooked, the tiny hairs on the nettle (which is what stings) dissolves, so there won’t be any problem with stinging whilst your eating. Blend with chicken or vegetable stock, and some cooked potatoes for bulk, to make a fabulous soup. Serve with crusty bread and a swirl of cream. Potatoes – Everyone knows hundreds of recipes for cooking potatoes, but here’s another one to add to your repertoire. Parboil potatoes, with skins on or off according to preference. When tender, drain and chop into chunks. Liberally douse with olive oil, salt, pepper and paprika and roast at 220C until crispy and golden (about 40 minutes).

A three course dinner party for 6 for under £30...

MARK LOVELL

Cooking dishes that use seasonal ingredients is like buying a scarf in the winter. It makes sense. Buying in season is advantageous for a number of reasons. Firstly, because the level of vitamins and minerals starts to decrease in fruit and vegetables as soon as they are harvested, if they are grown locally, the less time it takes for them to end up on your plate, and hence the higher the nutritional level. Secondly, pollution. A legume that has been sunbathing on the continent will have clocked up a substantial number of air miles during its round the world voyage. Knowing that one of your five-a-day has contributed to the clogging up of the atmosphere makes it seem a little less healthy. Thirdly, seasonal food is cheaper. Buying food which is out of season is more expensive because the consumer has to pay for its travel and storage. Here’s a guide to what’s in season now:

Durham Come Dine With Me

Lydia Ashby

Roasted Vegetable Quinoa Serves 2 200g Quinoa 1 Red Onion 1 Carrot 1 Pepper 1 pack of cooked French Beans Basil/Mint/Coriander /Thyme Unfortunately, quinoa seems to be an underrated and relatively unheard of ingredient. Similar to couscous, it is a highly nutritional seed, and an excellent source of protein. It contains a balanced set of the amino acids, which are vital for muscle and cell repair. It is also ideal for those who

suffer from food intolerances as it is gluten Worcestershire sauce, paprika and the and dairy free. thyme leaves. This basic recipe can be adapted to your Roast for 40 minutes, until completely preferences, or what’s left in the fridge. For cooked and starting to brown. Remove the example. you could add prawns, ham or vegetables from the oven, combine with cheese to make it more substantial. It keeps the quinoa and the french beans. Season to well in the fridge taste. Allow to cool. for several days, so Finely shred the “This basic recipe can be save yourself time by herbs (fi you wish) making a large batch and stir through the adapted to your for more than one quinoa salad. If you meal. using prawns preferences - or to what’s are Preheat the oven or meat, it is best to to 200C/400F. add these to each left in the fridge” Cook the quinoa individual portion according to the you make, to ensure instructions on the packet. Meanwhile, they remain fresh. chop all the vegetables (except the beans) Take in a tupperware pot with some into bite size pieces, place in a roasting tin fresh salad leaves (rocket or watercress taste and sprinkle with salt, pepper, olive oil, particularly delicious).


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Travel

Travel EDWARD SMITH

Ice ice baby... S

o the coach journey is horrendous, the accommodation is far from luxurious and you are most likely to subsist on a diet of pesto-pasta for the seven days of your stay, but arrival in the Val Tho-

“The trip was unarguably a venture full of hilarity” rens as part of the Durham University Ski and Snowboard Club’s annual trip, marks the initiation of much impending fun. The 2010 trip, organised by the coalition of a dedicated DUSSC team and Wasteland Ski took place in early January, providing a week of excellence for the more than reasonable starting cost of £330. Having added on a few optional extras and the must-have upgrade to a Three Valley lift pass, and the cost edges its way up to the 500 mark, yet this still seems a small price to pay for extensive skiing and an abundance of unforgettable memories.

Daaniel Silveira

Palatinate takes a look at the appeal of ski holidays, focusing on the official annual Durham University Ski and Snowboard Club Trip Gina Waite

Fashion

At 2300m, Val Thorens is the highest alpine resort in Europe, lending itself to good snow that was certainly made the most of by university-trippers. A Three Valley lift pass enables you to venture into the other resorts of Courcheval and Meribel, providing an inexhaustible 600km of piste, therefore accommodating all, whether you were a first timer finding your snow legs on the 10 hectares of beginner slopes, or more experienced and looking to demonstrate your skill in the numerous snow parks. Yet for most, the trip was about more than simply utilising the snow. Following a hard day on the piste one rewarded themselves with a hearty dose of après-ski at La Folie Douche bar, a hotspot recognisable from the BBC show, The Season, which certainly lived up to its reputation, providing raucous live music, dancing on tables Start your holiday off with a bang at the Val Thorens alpine resort and a reverberating sense of good spirit. Frolicking at le Folie Douche, was regi- ingly took you to Malaysia Club; the under- and music. Additionally a fantastic themed mentally followed by a nap for recuperation ground haven of flaming Zambucas, a live UV night held in Klub Summit united all before embracing the bars Val Thorens has band and multiple dance floors. Durham students in a luminous haze. to offer. Saloon Bar provided the first port Beyond this, DUSSC and Wasteland So to sum up; whilst the nocturnal events of call where the best deal of the resort was provided further entertainment. They of- may have been a barrier for some when it to be found in the form of buy-one-get-one- fered the opportunity to gorge oneself on came to early mornings on the slopes, the free Long Island Ice Teas. fondue at the Mountain Meal, followed by trip was unarguably a venture full of hilarThe infectiously good atmosphere pro- a night time ski home guided by lit flames ity, whether it was stacking it on the snow vided by the bars lead to the inclination to alone. Whilst on-piste, participation in Par- or a demonstration of questionable dance continue the night, which almost unfail- ty in the Park provided a day of barbecue moves. I urge all to participate in 2011.

StylishTravel Each edition we test out one of Durham’s many forms of travel. This week our volunteer Ally Bacon tries out the Olympic mode of travelling known as hurdling Hurdling is... When you run and jump over stuff. Did you enjoy your hurdle? Yeah I felt like I was flying. Do you prefer hurdling or walking? Umm hurdling because of the extension of the leg. Any advice on finding suitable hurdles? Oh make sure they’re not too tall and there are many good hurdles in everday life you just have to look out for them. Best thing about hurdling? The adrenalin buzz, it was crazy. How would you rate hurdling out of ten? 110/10

A beginner’s guide to hurdling Step 1: Locate a hurdle

Discover the Trans-Siberian Express

ohT am s eW

Moscow to Vladivostok, Irkutsk to Yekaterinburg; take the Trans-Siberian and not only will you be travelling the world’s longest continuous line of railway but you will be crossing its vastest and most fascinating country. Churchill described Russia as an enigma, Russian literature admits that she cannot be understood only believed – a growing number of adventurous travellers are attempting to crack the puzzle with the melting of the winter snows and taking the journey. Commonly, travellers begin in Moscow and take the train east either to Vladivostok on Russia’s far Eastern shores, or else breaking away and taking the trans-Mongolian on to China. The train stops frequently along the way at all the major cities and most people like to take a day or two out to see some sights along the way. Visiting the giant’s major cities such as Omsk is undeniably fascinating, but those with a love for the outdoors might look into taking advantage of the miles of relatively unexplored expanses with which Russia is blessed. The Altai Mountains and Tuvan Republic are two of the infinite possibilities. My journey on the Trans-Siberian came about through means

of practicality. I had been camping for two weeks on the white sandy beaches of Lake Baikal, the World’s deepest and oldest lake and had to get back to

hcl

Ali Boston

Mo s cow. Tr a v e l ling east to west turned Moscow into a buzzing, cosmopolitan city, something which coming from Europe, travellers are unlikely to experience. Internal flights in Russia are notoriously substandard and accidents have been a problem. This, along with the cost of flying and the undeniable lure of riding the Trans-Siberian, urged me to look to

alternatives. Unlike many foreign travellers, therefore, I took the train

on trains in Russia, coupe (second class), which consists of berths, grouped in fours in private compartments with a door; or platskart (third class), where the feng shui is far more open plan and you can find yourself sharing a carriage with fifty or so other sleepers. That being said, coupe can become somewhat claustrophobic, especially if you do not get on with the travelling companions you are cooped up with. Certainly, in terms of finances, third class is the obvious choice. Many foreigners choose what they consider to be the relative safety of second class and miss out on the best part of the Trans-Siberian experience: the people. Down in third class I have been forced fed with confectionary, sweets and sticky jam; had Shakespeare recited to me in Russian and sung along to nineties’ classics strum out on an acoustic guitar. All in all, on the Trans-Siberian express, travelling ceases to be simply a means and becomes an end in itself.

“Travelling ceases to simply be a means and becomes an end in itself” direct: three days, ten hours. To the Brit, who thinks that three hours direct to the North is too far to warrant a visit, this seems like a ghastly test of endurance. With the right companions, however, travelling the TransSiberian is rarely ever dull. There are two options when travelling

Step 2: Run towards said hurdle

Step 3: JUMP.

Photography: Kathryn Balls



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Fashion Step into a winter wonderland...

I don’t understand why...

With spring around the corner we embrace our last few magical winter moments THEFASHIONSPOT.COM FORUMS

Antonia Thier

Stylists: Antonia Thier Emma Spedding Photography: Quin Murray www.quinography.com Models: Briony Chappell Christina Ulfsparre Debra Bergg Emma Hammond Hair & Make-up: Dream Oasis 0191 384 8912 www.dreamoasis.co.uk Accessories: Ding Dong Vintage North Road, Durham Georgian Window Saddler Street, Durham

Bejewelled, bespoke, beautiful

Emma Spedding discovers the head-turning accessory created in our very own Durham After months of drowning in layers and knits, a touch of glamour could prove the perfect antidote to February blues. Ding Dong Vintage’s selection of one-of-a-kind bespoke headbands could be the ideal investment. Elegant but eccentric, classic yet innovative these headbands are a nod to 1920s glamour. The timeless designs marry vintage feathers with antique brooches, extravagantly hued and embellished, lavished onto real skin bands. Each is a unique blend of colour and detail with a subtle touch of costume, adding a heightened sense of drama to any outfit. Durham local Faye Cheyne has always shown a love of art and fashion and started creating vintage head bands seven years ago, which are now sold in her recently opened shop ‘Ding Dong Vintage.’ Each one is handmade from her personal collection of feathers and brooches which she has been gathering for over 25 years. They are quite expensive ranging from £25-£45 but would be a versatile investment, dramatising even the plainest of outfits. Faye will also create custom made headbands, working with you to choose the brooches, colours and feathers. These headbands could be the perfect way to update an old dress for a

QUIN MURRAY QUINOGRAPHY.COM

The terms brilliant, genius, inspirational, become so over-used after the death of a celebrity. Although Lee McQueen’s suicide came as a shock, indeed leaving certain fashionistas in Uggs at New York Fashion Week, his obituaries, spun out by fashion bloggers the world over, consist of the same generic material, with the same clichéd responses. Yet nobody has commented on his legacy. McQueen took fashion to another level through his amalgamations of the visual arts, not working solely through fabric but through his understanding of the theatrical. Enlightened by the “Dada” movement of the early twentieth century, his questioning of what makes fashion an art is truly inspirational. His use of technology imbued meaning to the word “show”, including his extraordinary spray-painting from robots onto a spinning white dress, (S/S’99) or his more recent hologram of Kate Moss floating inside an empty, glass pyramid (A/W’06.) As he made his way from an intern at Savile Row to become the next enfant terrible after Galliano at Givenchy, he created a revolutionary gothic tailored look, which became an inspiration for women everywhere, allowing them to feel feminine whilst empowered. Although the crowds are rushing to buy iconic McQueen items, such as the skull scarf at £200, the future of the label remains unclear, as a replacement for him seems impossible. So why then would such a talented craftsman take his own life? Although mere speculation, the death of his mother a few days before his own combined with the harsh critique of his new collection in London and Paris is believed to be the primary cause. His insect-inspired prints for S/S’10 was heavily dismissed, as fashion critics stated, “the show felt somewhat redundant despite the fact that each piece’s print was an original”. However, as fashion designer Paul Costelloe exclaims, “What are we doing wrong? Are we nourishing our talent?” he recognises the austere reality of the fashion industry, which has led many before McQueen, and I am sure many after, down the same path. Nevertheless, his raw, quintessentially British talent will never be forgotten, and will remain an inspiration for generations to come.

N

obody wants to remember the cold winter months, and with spring looming in the air, we steered away from heavy layering, furs and knits to reveal a more simplistic, feminine idea of winter. We accessorised our own dresses with vintage headpieces from Ding Dong Vintage, and masks from Georgian Window. So dramatise your favourite dress this spring with a touch of costume and vintage glamour.

formal and would be a unique accessory for College Balls. The vintage store off North Road is packed with one of a kind vintage garments, overflowing with sequins, lace, feathers and all things flamboyant and eclectic. With the rise of mass produced, throw away high street fashion there has been a growing passion for vintage clothing and the arrival of ‘Ding Dong Vintage’ is a perfect way to add some authentic, unique and quirky pieces to your wardrobe. Faye also customises hats, bags and dresses and in particular blazers, which she adapts with classic Levis denim

“Timeless designs marry vintage feathers...”

A selection of the finest headpieces in Durham from Ding Dong Vintage

jackets. The structure of the blazer is unaltered and the denim cuffs, collar and pockets are inserted into the jacket. So become one of fashion’s avantgarde with these one-of-a-kind vintage headpieces. Who knew Durham could be so fashion-forward?


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Still Cool Runnings

Private eyes and low lives

Why this kids’ classic is worth a second look

We take a sneaky peek behind the scenes of DSF’s latest project JAMES KING

Alison Moulds

H

“...this is film noir with a difference”

“...the dénouement leaves nothing to be desired...”

Cool Runnings Jon Turteltaub Walt Disney Pictures

««««« Jonathan Knowles

It seems almost inappropriate to discuss this film following the tragic death of luger Nodar Kumaritashvili, which has cast a shadow over the current Winter Olympics that I doubt will be lifted before the closing ceremony. However, it’s hard to deny that for so many of us the term ‘Winter Olympics’ doesn’t generate images of figure skaters, skiers, lugers or competitors in any other sport. No, we think of a Jamaican bobsleigh team in the classic 1993 film that we all grew up with – Cool Runnings. This film is definitely more of a classic in the eyes of the fans than the critics, and after re-watching the film, it’s not hard to see why. The acting is, at times, horrible (‘Iam-not-a-boxer! I-am-a-runner!’), the cinematography, although colourful, is never spectacular outside of the odd impressive music montage to annoyingly catchy music, and the direction has the ‘yeah, one take, that’ll do’ feel about it that is rare even in low-budget movies nowadays.

“...one of the most heart-warming moments in cinema history...”

JAMES KING

What does elevate this movie from the slums that the critics saw it in is the sheer charm and beauty encapsulated by the screenplay and characters. No character is significantly developed beyond a basic personality flaw that is recitifed by the end of the film, but that doesn’t matter. Derice Bannock (Leon) and Sanka Coffie (Doug E. Doug) have fantastic chemistry and screen presence together. Both Junior Bevil (Rawle D. Lewis) and Yul Brenner (Malik Yoba) round out the team as a pairing whose interaction changes in heartwarming fashion, with the latter’s intimidating figure epitomising his character and making the subplot between the two, as Junior becomes more of a man, not only watchable, but realistic and enjoyable. Completing the principal cast, and leaving the greatest impression on the audience, is John Candy’s Irving ‘Irv’ Blitzer, who, despite his occasional acting slip - his speech to the executive board could be far more believable - really seems to embody his character perfectly, both visually and in terms of his expression and delivery. Whilst a cast of strong, eclectic characters is not completely sufficient to make a film a fan favourite, and as such it falls to the charming screenplay to really explain the film’s attraction to audiences. The opening scenes of training are hilarious, the drama as the Jamaicans compete with the antagonistic Swiss actually

borders on being genuinely tense, and the transformation of the characters, alongside the change in mood as the team become contenders, really makes the set up for the conclusion satisfying. No portion of the film feels like a waste, the script is never boring, and by the final run the ‘underdog’ concept feels like it’s at its height – sod Rocky, this is far easier to sympathise with! The final run itself, for those of you who haven’t seen it, is tragic, dramatic and one of the most heart-warming and memorable moments in cinema history. It’s almost impossible not to smile as the film concludes – for the team, for the coach, and for the lucky egg. The film is often said to be based on a true story, which is indeed correct, yet numerous cases of cinematic license are present in order to make the film more appropriate for the big screen. Amongst others, every character is wholly fictional, the Jamaicans were not met with such animosity during the competition and the touching conclusion has been slightly over-dramatised in comparison to the truth. Nevertheless, these issues can be easily overlooked as they all contribute to the notion of the friendly underdog that the film embodies. Kumaritashvili’s death illustrates the dangers underpinning events such as the luge and bobsleigh, and as such a film like Cool Runnings ignores the negatives that are often tragically present. Nevertheless this is what so many of our generation consider when we picture the Winter Olympics – an (almost) true story of four underdogs, set against an energetic soundtrack and a touching screenplay that is almost guaranteed to raise a smile amongst people of all ages. There are better films out there about winter sports, but very few as enjoyable. When you get bored of waiting for figure skaters and skiers to fall over when watching the real thing, grab your steel drum and watch this film – it’s almost tragic that Jamaica don’t have a bobsleigh team this year for the world to support! TOTAL FILM

aving championed the merits of film noir in these hallowed pages last term, it’s no secret that I nurse more than a passing passion with the genre. So when I discovered on the proverbial grapevine that Durham’s very own Student Film society (DSF) were turning their talents to the world of private eyes, I couldn’t resist abusing my position on the Palatinate team in order to take a sneaky peek at their latest project, which looks set to be premiered before the end of term. Exposure sees a lovelorn young man enlist the help of a private investigator after a beloved photograph of him with his ex-girlfriend is stolen. Whilst the film flirts with all the usual conventions of the crime-thriller genre, the society emphasise that this is film noir with a difference. Not only is our PI female, but the archetypal Co-directors Rosie and Will discuss shooting strategies cynicism of the private detective is also expanded into a meditation of her percep- You have to train yourself to be a complete- co.uk, which also gives details of other ly different person”. upcoming projects, trailers and past DSF tions on people and love. With restrictions of time, budget, films. The society also helps individual equipment and locations, student filming members in pursuing personal film projects aren’t the easiest of ventures. projects as well as organising group work. Co-director Rosie says “it doesn’t help Whilst the society has a loyal band sometimes that you’re in a noisy or busy of core members it more than deserves place, or that you’re battling against the to attract attention from the rest of the weather of Durham,” but adds that, “when student body. Having had the honour to Each year, the consummate members it gets up on screen you feel quite proud act on the judging panel of their 48 Hour of DSF take a whole host of freshlings and that you managed to do that and it’s not Film Competition this term, I know that Film Soc virgins under their wings and obvious that everyone behind camera was both the standard and dedication are high. show them the ropes, allowing them to in thick coats and it was freezing!” Karina says that her fellow members are adopt a number of different roles, both “not afraid to be silly with each other, but behind the camera and in front of it. Memwe know when to get to business”. And it bers simply put themselves forward for poshows! Which is why the premiere of Exsitions and it goes to a good, old-fashioned posure deserves to pull in all new audiences. democratic vote! The participants are then split into teams, each responsible for a difFor more information on how to get ferent scene of the film. involved with DSF, check out their website at Society secretary Kathryn Shrubb calls www.durhamstudentfilm.co.uk the annual Freshers’ project a “learning experience”, even for the society regulars, Last year’s offering was a short comedy who learnt from last year’s film venture the labelled The Morning After, which begins difficulties of trying to achieve light and with the all-too-familiar premise of waking sound consistency. To ensure continuity with little memory of the night before! this year, Exposure had two regular crew We follow hapless and hungover student members, producer Daisy Spencer and production designer Chloe Williams, who Tom as he tries to piece together the events of his previous night in order to recover a were on hand during the filming of all the priceless pocket watch he has borrowed scenes. We joined one branch of the DSF team from a friend. On the way he at Collingwood, where the last scene of the is confronted with various eccentrics who seem film was being shot in one of the college’s determined to complicate bedrooms, co-directed by Rosie Adams his mission. The full film and Will Cunningham-Batt. The scene can be viewed at www. sees our PI (played by Karina Par Juan) durhamstudentfilm. confronting the guilty party and forcing a confession. Whilst we couldn’t possibly reveal the photograph thief, it’s safe to say the dénouement leaves nothing to be desired! Commenting on the project, Karina reflects that she has “no regrets” about giving up a directing slot in order to play the lead role. “Being the PI is difficult for me as an actor, because I’m naturally emotional and happy,” she says. “I had to use almost all of my self control to become the world-weary, unromantic, cynical PI! I almost exasperated many of the directors because I couldn’t help cracking a smile, laughing, or falling out of character. The very temperament of the PI is so not me, but then again, I guess that’s what makes acting such a skill. Private Eye Karina makes her accusations

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“fantastic chemistry and screen presence”


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An ice time in London

Tamara Gates

D

oing their part to raise environmental awareness, artists worldwide have increasingly focused attention on the plight of global warming’s key animal: the polar bear. Last Christmas the public witnessed a powerful piece of installation art in Trafalgar Sqaure, the extreme sculptor Mark Coreth’s latest project. Trafalgar Square’s Northern Terrace played host to an enormous ice bear in the run-up to Christmas, created using a combiation of ice and bronze. Coreth says of his project, “It will essentially be an ice bear and as the ice melts it will reveal a skeleton, a pool of water and a very powerful message”. And he certainly achieved his aim, as thousands of spectators gathered to watch the artist in action last year, working under the pressure and time restriction that his chosen medium forced upon him. It was back in 2007 that Mark made his first trip to the Arctic and witnessed firsthand the receding sea ice and the effects of global warming on the Arctic’s polar bears. It was then that he decided to bring the Arctic to the general public in the hope of conveying this important message through visual art. This isn’t the first time that artists have involved themelves in this important

environmental issue. In September 2007, 1,000 miniature people slowly melted away on the steps of the central Gendarmenmarkt square, Berlin, in an effort to draw attention to melting ice caps in Greenland and Antarctica. Brazilian artist Nele Azevedo carved the figures out of ice and placed them on the steps where they began to melt within about half an hour in temperatures of around 23 degrees celsius. This created a stunning visual effect and poignantly conveyed the fragility of human life and demonstrated the physical effects of global warming. Since 2005, Azevedo has been setting up her Melting Men in various countries around the world. Although originally intended as a critic of the role of monuments in cities, environmentalists around the world are adopting her work as climate change art. The installation spotlighted the World Wildlife Fund’s warning that melting ice could possibly cause sea levels to rise more than 3.3 ft by 2100 but interestingly, Azevedo does not class herself as an active climate change artist. The Melting Men installation “was conceived as a critical view of the official historical monuments”. Many viewed the work as comment on the issue of global warming, to which she responded, “I’m glad it can also speak of urgent matters that threaten our existence on this planet”, which is something we all should dwell on..

MARK CORRETH/FLICKR ID: MATT FROM LONDON

Ice sculptures aren’t just a cheesy wedding gimmick, as Mark Coreth and Nele Azevedo prove

“...artists have focused on the plight of global warming...”

Mark Correth’s ice bear melts in Trafalgar Square before Christmas, raising awareness about the dangers of global warming

Behind every great man, there is a great... photographer? Palatinate looks in to the life of Nat Finkelstein, the man who sent Warhol’s fame to new heights Tamara Gates

world of sex and drugs. Famously he photographed the beautifully tragic Edie Sedgwick, which inspired the 2006 film Factory Girl starring Sienna Miller. While Finkelstein appears to have been fully occupied photographing beautiful people in a drug induced haze in The Factory, he was equally intent on documenting, as well as participating in, the battles for civil rights that were raging at the

protesters at a civil rights rally in August 1965, Life magazine suppressed the photographs but Finkelstein continued to push the boundaries until, in 1969, his political activism prompted a judge to issue a warrant for his arrest. In the 80s he returned to photography, but punctuated it by visits to Bolivia to obtain the cocaine to which he was now addicted. It took Warhol’s death in 1987 to encourage him to become clean. Bizarrely, he went to Amsterdam to achieve this. Despite having a broad range of photographic material with extensive subject matter, his timeless and iconic works come from The Factory. He says of his experience there: “after a whole lot of living, I look upon The Factory scene like a perpetual carnival in Rio de Janeiro: beautiful girls, pretty boys, music in the air and fucking in the streets, and every once in a while somebody runs in and kills one of the guests”.

“In 1969 Finkelstein’s political activism prompted a judge to issue a warrant for his arrest” to get him into trouble. When he photographed policemen beating CKR I D: THE

“I cant’t really say what Warhol did to or for the rest of society, but he was my artistic messiah...”

same time out in the real world. He was an extremely political man and he couldn’t ignore what was going on outside. However, his talent began

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Andy Warhol was a leading figure in pop art. Warhol’s widely diverse social circle ranged from bohemian street people to wealthy aristocrats and his life-long fascination with Hollywood inspired his celebrity portraits which he began in 1962. But what about the man who boosted his fame and kept him in the limelight? Andy Warhol met the photographer Nat Finkelstein in 1964 and immediately recognised in him a man who could make him more famous. Here was a man who could get Warhol’s face published and generally heighten awareness of his existence. Finkelstein, who died last October, was already well established as a photographer, but he became fascinated by Warhol’s work, particularly his infamous studio, The Factory, ‘the place to be’ in New York. That summer, Finkelstein had experienced one of Warhol’s ‘100 Most Beautiful People’ parties and observed the photogenic eccentrics with whom Warhol surrounded himself, such as Edie Sedgwick, Bob Dylan and Marcel Duchamp. From here on in Finkelstein immersed himself in

Warhol’s hedonistic lifestyle and worked as a photojournalist in The Factory. He was clearly impressed by what he saw, and later wrote “I watched pop die, I saw punk being born. I participated in a cultural revolution that shook the superstructure of our society ... I can’t really say what Warhol did to or for the rest of society, but he was my artistic messiah”. Finkelstein’s natural talent for photography had him turned away from photography courses and snapped up by art directors from prestigious magazines such as Harper’s Bazaar. In September 1962 Finkelstein was commissioned by Pageant magazine to document a Pop Art “happening”. This was his lucky break, as it was his photographs of Claes Oldenburg in Greenwich Village that came to Warhol’s attention Finkelstein’s portraits represent human frailty and failure wrapped in a sordid

Sienna Miller’s portrayal of one of Finkelstein’s most popular subjects, Edie Sedgwick


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Glamour drops by to pay Newcastle a visit it won’t forget Jazz hands are not the only thing in abundance in this classic American show filled with destruction and desire PAUL KOLNIK

Chicago David Ian Productions Newcastle Theatre Royal ««««« Lyndsey Fineran

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irst performed in 1975 to moderate Broadway success, Chicago has gone on to become one of the longest running musicals of all time. With an impressive production currently on its UK tour, I was lucky enough to catch the show during its week-long stint at Newcastle’s Theatre Royal. And if my experience is anything to go by, there is most definitely a lot of life left in this long-running show. A city where killing is a form of entertainment and where you truly can get away with murder, Chicago presents the tale of the misguided Roxie Hart, the killing of her lover and ending up on death row where she meets fellow murderess Velma Kelly, whose murder of her husband and show-partner sister has left her facing a similar fate. With the help of smooth talking lawyer, Mr Billy ‘never lost a case’ Flynn, both learn the art of manipulating the media circus and, driven by a hunger for fame, we witness their unfolding battle for freedom, and more importantly in such a fame-hungry town, their place in the spotlight. A sharp and sexy satire on corruption, Chicago offers a timeless tale of desire and deceit.

“A completely sold out affair - and with good reason” Boasting Marti Pellow as its Billy Flynn, and former Eastender Emma Barton as Roxie Hart, the production’s celebrity edge and rave reviews have made its visit to the North East a completely sold out affair - and with good reason. With slick choreography, infectious jazz score and strong lead performances, Chicago (if you will permit me the obligatory ‘windy-city’ pun) truly will blow you away. Opening to the infamous ‘All That Jazz’, and its fated vaudeville star and murderess Velma Kelly (played by Twinnie-Lee Moore), the show’s underground cabaret club setting took its audience right to the smoky and jazz infused heart of 1920s Chicago; a town full of corruption, greed and decadent hedonism. With strikingly sensuous choreography and alluring jazz, ‘All That Jazz’ set both the tone, and standard for the evening ahead. Moving on to a firm favourite of audiences, ‘Cell Block Tango’ oozed the power, strength and the wild sex appeal of six women scorned. Each armed with their own tale of debauchery, treachery or adultery (or in some cases, all three) the number saw its six “merry murderesses of death row” fiercely recounting the tale of their recently deceased partners, all of whom indisputably “had it coming”. And trust me, you wouldn’t dare to argue. Indeed, women truly are the ones on top in Kander and Ebb’s Chicago.

Despite being set in 1920’s prohibition America, it is impossible not to be intoxicated at the showbiz razzle-dazzle and darkness that Chicago brings to the stage in this fantastic production

Aside from the philandering Billy Flynn, the men of the show are largely resigned to anonymity and manipulation; there to be used, outsmarted and for very little else. Such lack of identity was an effect cleverly achieved by the production through the use of subtle modes of disguise; a dipped bowler hat, a tactically cast shadow, or a deceptive darkness, women were the ones in the spotlight in this show.

“Ex-Eastender Emma Barton as Roxie was sublime” Both the female leads were impressive in their respective roles as the fame-hungry murderesses, Velma and Roxie. TwinnieLee Moore’s deadpan delivery and biting cynicism as Velma provided an effective contrast to the inexperienced Roxie. Meanwhile, ex-Eastender Emma Barton as Roxie was sublime, managing to be both manipulative yet ever likeable in her misguided quest for fame and escape from the humdrum of her life. Barton proved to sparkle particularly in her number ‘Both Reached for the Gun’ aka ‘The Press Conference Rag’ in which her transformation into Flynn’s ventriloquist’s dummy proved an excellent showcase of her surprisingly

accomplished comic capabilities – every vocal inflection and gesture proving writ large yet remaining careful never to enter into caricature. Reviving his 2002 role meanwhile, Wet Wet Wet’s Marti Pellow gave a smooth and charismatic performance as the philandering lawyer Billy Flynn. A criminal attorney whose ability to manipulate both the media and US justice system has made him the most sought after defence against death row money can buy, Pellow pulled off Flynn’s infamous charm and arrogance with notable ease. Now a firm fixture in the musical theatre world, Pellow’s polished presence in ‘All I Care About’ – a self-parody of his money and women-driven ways – exhibited experience and professionalism, highlighting his impressive transition from the music world to that of the theatre. While an impressively strong main cast, I was left under-whelmed by Wendy-Lee Purdy’s performance as Matron ‘Mama’ Morton. A role which necessitates equal amounts of gravitas and sensuality, and one which I’ve previously seen played by much bigger actresses, (both in terms of physical size and, more importantly, presence) Purdy didn’t quite manage to fill the stage. This was particularly felt in her lead song, the suggestive ‘When You’re Good to Mama’, which as a result fell slightly flat: the sensuality the character of ‘Mama’ is renowned for just wasn’t carried off. Nevertheless, Purdy’s impressively sultry

jazz voice was put to much better use in her later number, ‘Class’ - a mournful duet with Velma which proved both sombre

“It was in its simplicity that the production’s power lay.” and poignant and for me, a highlight. A word must be said for the character of Amos, Roxie’s downtrodden and longmanipulated husband whose unrelenting loyalty stands no match for the avaricious, fame hungry world of the show. Even as the cruel intentions of others are dumped upon him, he carries on, nursing a broken heart and his own humble aspirations are placed in the background where it seems the honest belong in this world. As Amos, Adam Stafford gave a performance that was both comic and achingly pitiable; an admirable nuance that received its appropriate showcase in his number, ‘Mr Cellophane’. A lament on the pain of invisibility, ‘Mr Cellophane’, in its understated, undemanding manner indeed managed to prove a surprise highlight of the evening; turning passivity into true

showbiz electricity, made all the more arresting for being kept at a low voltage. Indeed, it was in its simplicity that the production’s power lay. Using only minimal scenery and costumes, the set nothing more than a giant bandstand, with no colour except its staple black and the occasional splash of red and even its biggest show numbers using little more than the odd ostrich feather or short-lived sparkle, Chicago isn’t a flashy show that relies on impressive sets or special effects for its power. Creating its 1920’s vaudeville atmosphere through a clever manipulation of shadows, expertly played jazz and film-noir lighting, this show offered a sharp and biting satire on the corruptive desire for fame, lust and money. Bravely forgoing the usual smoke and mirrors of musical theatre, this production instead produced something

“Sensuous, sultry and oozing sex appeal... ” raw, unflinchingly real and at all times, powerfully entertaining. Sensuous, sultry and oozing sex appeal, the Theatre Royal’s presentation of Chicago lived up to its claim: “in this town, there’s no better entertainment than murder”.


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Comedy and tragedy fail to balance

Revue Review

This adaptation of Shakespeare from Hild Bede College is a measure short of quality

Sophie Zeldin-O’Neill CHRIS WILLETTS

“The final act of the play was muddled” Measure for Measure Hild Bede Theatre Company Caedmon Hall ««««« Lucy Bowes

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s one of Shakespeare’s lesser known plays Measure for Measure is not always given the credit it deserves. Though the ending is perhaps morally dubious, the play pivots between the tragic and the comic, playing on the struggle between justice and mercy in a dark and morally corrupt Vienna. The saintly Isabella is forced to choose between her chastity and the life of her brother Claudio, Lord Angelo is seduced both by power and Isabella’s purity; meanwhile the Duke makes dubious attempts to rectify it all with disguise, trickery and a few convenient marriages. The makings of a good play? Potentially. The Hild Bede Theatre Company started well; their marketing was simple yet provocative reflecting their contemporary take on the play and I went along intrigued to see how they were going to go about it. Music and lighting were cleverly used to infer the theme of moral corruption with the opening scene drawing the audience into a dark Vienna. A red hue infused the stage while scantily clad waitresses wandered through the audience offering their services. The use of blue light at the opening of Angelo’s scenes cleverly indicated the icy nature of his character and subtly communicating these ideas to the audience. The set served its purpose and the use of a shadow screen was effective. Unfortunately, marketing isn’t everything and, despite a good start, Measure for Measure failed to be consistent throughout. Tom Bowden’s performance of the Duke at times lacked fluidity and therefore

compromised the credibility of his character. This is not necessarily Bowden’s fault as he could have been aided by better direction had a clear decision been made about the true nature of the Duke and his intents. The role of The cast of Measure for Measure show off their emotional range but it evidently isn’t enough for success... Escalus as mediator was recognised and Aveneesh Sharma played the role well. had been decided upon and therefore the kept amused by slap-stick humor, I found Owen Shipman provided us with an Anending lived up to its reputation as morally certain elements frustrating and underlygelo whose vivid battle between morality uncertain; hardly ideal in such a compliing themes overlooked. In any modern and lust was compelling and was one of the cated play. re-working of a play there will always be a stronger actors in the show. Though there were occasional moments variety of opinion, but for me it lacked the Kla Shipton’s performance as Isabella of brilliancy and the audience were technical direction that such a complex had moments of brilliance where her play needs in order to succeed. anguish was clearly manifest but in some instances, sense of the verse was lost. While the initial meeting between Angelo and Isabella was well constructed, with Lucio (Sarah Peters) playing the part well, coherence was lacking during the later scene in Wednesday 24th February - Sunday 28th February which Angelo propositions Isabella and Die Fledermaus - Durham Opera Ensemble - Great Hall, Castle the subtle interplay between the characters Strauss’ dance-filled operetta is sure to astound and delight with its was missed which would have greatly helped the quality of the perfornance. mischief, passion and revenge... Comic elements, however, were well £10, £6 NUS/OAP, £5.50 DST - 7:30pm start except 8:30pm Thurs, played out with Tom 7:00pm Sun, with black tie dresscode on Sunday. Nash depicting a wonderfully camp Thursday 18th February - Saturday 27th February and shrill voiced The Lady in the Van - Richard Jordan Productions - Gala Theatre Constable Elbow and Alan Bennett lovers will rejoice at this play, based on the unlikely but addition of the ‘sex scene’ between Maritrue story about the relationship between Bennett and the lady who ana and Angelo gave lives in a van in his garden. much-needed comic £15, £13 (concession)- 7:30pm relief inbetween the speech heavy scenes. Unfortunately, the final act of the play Monday 1st March was muddled and for those who did not The Durham Revue Comedy Fest - Gala Theatre know the play it may have been confusing. For one night only, watch university comedic masters at work! It is in these last scenes that much of the uncertainty about the nature of the play £10, £8 (concession)- 7:30pm arises and therefore it is the role of the director to navigate the audience through this morally ambiguous minefield. It seemed unclear that any sort of direction

“What looked like a good start failed to be consistent... ”

What’s On?

Last year was one of the Revue’s most successful in their entire history. Several Assembly Rooms shows were packed beyond seating capacity, their show at The Fringe was award-winning, and they were six of the most quoted people at house parties the length and breadth of Durham. So the pressure was really on this year for a group which, bar Matt Mulligan, consisted entirely of newcomers. Except for the conviction that I would marry at least one of the members, I feel about this year’s Revue pretty much the way I felt about Take That back in the day - they all bring their own very unique style of comedy to the table. Harry Bresslaw, Ned French and Andrew Chambers Barrett’s opposing, but equally entertaining, caricatured takes on the British gent worked in terrific unison, whilst Ben Whittle’s role in the group as the king of self-deprecating irony is something that I haven’t seen performed in quite the same way, and it was in this capacity that he truly shone. Alina Gregory has a natural, understated stage that lead to her providing some of the funniest moments. Meanwhile Matt Mulligan, the comedy veteran, was on fine form as usual in his role as expounder of whimsical awkwardness. That said, the sketch which had myself and most other audiences members chuckling away most heartily was the astronaut sketch, in which Tessa Coates played a childish astronaut who had unwittingly secured the deaths of her co-pilots by exchanging the air cylinders on board for bags of Doritos prior to take-off. Her timing was exquisite, and her lines executed with extreme confidence which bodes well for her Durham comedic career. ‘Revue humour’ often sets a precedent for what becomes ‘Durham humour’, so expect a few Tessa Coates-esque seems-ditsybut-is-actually-arrestingly-witty jokes to be overheard somewhere near you in the future. It took some time for me to accustom myself to their new group dynamic, something which I think that they are yet to entirely solidify, but if they continue to acknowledge and hone their respective strengths, it wouldn’t be a stretch to imagine these guys giving their predecessors a serious run for their money. The Revue continue to be the unexpected highlight of many a uni ball and college day, winning over audiences with their perfect blend of fast-paced entertainment and superb comic timing. They can next be seen performing alongside The Oxford Revue and Cambridge Footlights on March 1st at Comedyfest. This Gala-based event has never failed to be one of the highlights of Durham’s theatre calendar, and I have no doubts at all that this year’s extravaganza will be little exception.


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Shockwaves NME Awards Tour Interview Special Palatinate heads to Newcastle O2 Academy to chat to bands performing the run-up to the NME Awards

Interviewed by: Olivia Swash

Walking backstage at the O2 Academy with slight apprehension after watching slightly awkward and unresponsive Bombay Bicycle Club interviews, I turned the corner to see a chilled scene of four rather mismatched-looking guys sitting around eating takeaways and strumming banjos. Hailing from north London, the foursome formed in secondary school and after winning Channel 4 and Virgin Mobile’s ‘Road to V’ competition in 2006, have clambered to international acclamation. They are currently working on their follow-up to first album I Had The Blues But I Shook Them Loose as well as commencing on the tour which is sure to hoist them further up the indie ladder. I had a chat with them pre-gig on the first date of their current tour alongside The Macca-

bees, The Drums and The Big Pink... You started out young and your first album was influenced by teenage experiences. What will your second album be influenced by? Jack: It’s hard to write songs about being on tour... When we were teenagers we went out etc. Now there’s nothing to write about apart from being in a band! How is it touring with three other bands? Jamie: It’s only our first date, but it’s the first time we’ve been on a tour of this size... You can’t walk around backstage without any clothes on! You’re young to be so successful, do

What’s On? 4th Feb - Golden Ghost @ Fishtank 26th Feb - Tubelord @ Westgarth Social Club, Middlesbrough 6th Mar - Local Natives @ O2 Academy Newcastle 19th Mar - Wild Beasts @ The Cluny

Interviewed by: Madeleine St-Amour Heading backstage after an explosive opening to the NME tour, I had a pint in my hand, and a grin on my face which had been permanently planted there since the jaunty opening chords of The Drums’ set. They are a band obsessed with pop. Not the Alphabeat kind, but perfectly formed 3 minute ditties which strike the perfect balance between hope and hopelessness. A bit like The Cure had they been orange juice drinking teens hanging out on Florida beaches in the 1950s. This band has generated a wealth of excitement since releasing their Summertime! EP. Named as one of the BBC’s bands to watch for 2010, sensing the reaction they ignite tonight with surf-rock via Joy Division anthem ‘Let’s Go Surfing’, it seems 2010 could be the year pop truly makes us feel again. I met frontman Jonathan Pierce just after their set for a chat. You’re all old friends who were in separate bands, did you all share a vision of what kind of band you wanted the Drums to be? J: When we started about a year ago we were all inspired by a band called The Wake, they have a song called ‘Death Scratcher’. We heard it, and to us it sounded like the perfect pop song, inspiring. So we tried to model our songs on that. When we tried we kinda landed on something different, something special. Is your intention to make perfect pop SAM FORD

“I’d definitely shag The Maccabees...”

you plan to carry on being musicians for the foreseeable future? Jack: Yeah. Well Jamie has a place at Cambridge to do Classics. Jamie: Not sure if I’ll go though. But I don’t want to do one thing my whole life. You’re re-releasing 400 limited edition vinyl singles of ‘Evening/Morning’ with hand-painted covers. What made you want to do something so different? Jack: Our record company said we had to do a re-release, and we hate when bands do re-releases, so we said we’d do it under the one condition that we could make it special. We didn’t think about how much work it was gonna be! We heard you’re releasing an EP of folk songs, is this still happening? Jack: Yeah, it’s turned into an album now though. It’s also good ‘cos it kinda buys us more time to write the second album. Do you think you’ll follow the folk route or is it more of a side project? Jack: It’s alongside the second album. We kinda don’t like doing it. People think ‘oh they listened to Mumford and Sons on Radio 1 and it’s so kooky, I wanna do that’. So The Big Pink, The Drums, The Maccabees... Kill, marry, shag? Jamie: I’d definitely shag the Maccabees! Jack: The Big Pink is the only band with a girl in so maybe them. Shag The Drums, marry The Maccabees, kill The Big Pink, but only because we’ve never met them and we’ve been in competition with them. What do you have in store for the rest of the NME Awards Tour? Any surprises? Jamie: We’ve been so rushed, we haven’t really thought about it. Jack: We could do the whole set unplugged on the banjo. Or our guitar tech might come on stage and do a shit. Fortunately the latter didn’t happen.

DAVID TSHULAK

ANGUS MACRAE

Bombay Bicycle Club

The Drums

The Maccabees Interviewed by: Nick Bolton

After perhaps slightly too eagerly telephoning the band manager before my interview and interrupting the band’s dinner, I felt slightly awkward getting onto The Maccabees’ tour bus. My worries were unfounded: there’s a real sense of camaraderie between the band and fans, which was reflected throughout the interview. Their ability lies in their gift to inject feelings of youth, love and wistfulness into their listeners; there is pure, raw emotion present in every song that sets them apart from the generic nature of their perceived ‘indie’ genre. I caught up with Hugo White, one of the guitarists.

songs? J: Yeah, we’re really influenced by those girl-groups of the 50’s and 60’s with simple melodies, simple lyrics but very dynamic. The Shangri-Las and The Ronettes especially. I feel like the rules of pop music have never really changed from the very beginning. ‘Let’s Go Surfing’ immediately makes people want to dance. There seem to have been very little songs of late which invoke that immediacy.

“We’re really influenced by those girl-groups of the 50’s and 60’s ... ” J: That’s our whole thing, instant satisfaction. There are so many bands right now who are into experimentation and ten minute intros and there’s a song tucked in You’re known as a band that relishes live performance. What is it that you love about playing live? H: The fans and atmosphere. Releasing songs can get a bit tedious so it’s good to get out there, the fans appreciate it and it feels better this way. Also being on tour is great, living on a bus is actually more relaxing than being at home, its good just chilling out together. Was there a sense of difficult second album syndrome with Wall of Arms? H: I think the most difficult thing was that it had been such a long time since the release of the first album. After two years of writing we had about twelve songs that we felt really proud of. Everyone’s influenced by different things but it all comes together and takes us in new directions.

“Being on tour is great, living on a bus is more relaxing than being at home!” What music has influenced you? ‘First Love’ was influenced by an Ian McEwan novel, any other literary influences? H: I’ve been listening to a lot of Velvet Underground and The Smiths; obviously Jonny Marr is a big influence, a great guitarist. And yeah, his novel First Love, Last Rites. The new single with Roots Manuva is

there somewhere but we just really wanted to strip it down, and get to the very core of what a pop song is. The songs on the Summertime! EP invite a naïve optimism, but then when you listen to the lyrics there’s a real hopelessness to them… J: Hope within hopelessness… Melancholy is the word that I think sums it up. As happy as the songs sound there’s always a core that it hits and that core matches what life is really like. Do you think that’s why the songs connect with people? J: Yeah, I don’t know anyone who is truly happy. Everyone either wants more or wants less. You’ve finished recording your album. Can we expect something similar to the Summertime! EP? J: It’s a little darker, it’ll be quite a departure. It sounds like the Drums but there’s not so much whistling... a move in a different direction. Whose idea was that? H: Felix was into it, ‘No Kind Words’ is quite a down beat song, so Felix got in touch but it took forever to get a response, we almost gave up on it. Then one day he got in touch, took a loop without vocals and rapped over it. It’s such a fluent song, different from anything we’ve done before. Some of the b-sides from this album saw some interesting experimentation. Is a third album in the pipeline? H: Yeah we’re going to start writing after this tour. We’re not like one of those bands you see writing together on the tour bus, we just come up with our own things and then try and put it all together. When we’re not on tour we don’t speak that much or pick up the phone to one another! Tours are intense and it’s good to have a break from that. You’re originally all from London. Was the move down to Brighton for creative purposes? H: Yeah, well we all went to university there, ended up spending all of our student loans and getting signed within a year. We played the smaller venues around there, but it’s a cool place to write music. Finally, does Latchmere actually have a wave machine? H: (laughs) Yeah it’s incredible. We all used to swim there when we were younger, and when we realised we had all been there we thought it would be good to write a song about it.


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Martin Amis: sex, politics and literature

James Leadhill romps through the potently sexualised work of Kingsley’s infamous son

G

ing hand on his brow”. Indeed, Amis has that rare quality of being able to win arguments despite being clearly in the wrong. The dichotomy between Amis’ prose and plot is crucial to the un-

facility with the spoken word. Effortlessly elevating rhetoric to poetry, his is a breathtakingly lyrical eloquence comparable to that of Oscar Wilde. Indeed he is one of few public intellectuals who can converse on equal terms with the preeminent contemporary wit Christopher Hitchens, with whom he once shared an intense relationship. A charismatic delivery serves only to broaden his appeal. Deep, gravelly and embued derstanding of the with confidence, Amis’ commanding nature of Amis’ voice helps offset his diminutive stature literary legacy. and endow him with instant charisma His defence of and authority. Nabakov’s Lolita As one of Britain’s most prominent is profound and public intellectuals, Amis frequently indeed it is the voices his political concerns. His novel, exquisite penetraMoney exposes the “phosphorescent tion of his prose that prosperity” of England in the 1980s elevates him above whilst his peers and justifies much of his acclamation as a his recent seminal writer. Whilst political Amis’ father Kingswriting ley, amongst others, deals with bemoaned the “terrible the threat compulsive vividness in of Islamism. his style”, Amis’ literary Disapflair is vindicated by even pointingly, a cursory reading of his Amis’ falls work. well short The plots of Amis’ work, of George Orwell’s ambition of “making however, fail to reach the political writing into an art”. His political same heights as his prose. writings contain little of the literary dexterHis most acclaimed novel, ity of his novels and his return to the novel Money, in The Pregnant Widow is a welcome one. is a Along with other members of his exclusive dense, literary clique including Salman Rushdie, monotoMartin Amis, author of the lusty The Rachel Papers Ian McEwan and Christopher Hitchens, nal work Amis’ political views have been shaped seemingly written and command establish him as a foremost by both the 1989 fatwa on Rushdie and to be taught rather contemporary postmodern writer. In his 9/11. These events inform his hostility to than read. It traces the collected work, one can perhaps see the Islamism, a hostility which has generated zeitgeist of the 1980’s, best explication of Gore Vidal’s hypothesis frequent and justified controversy. portrayed by the flucthat “one of the reasons we create fiction is Through his penetrating writing on sex, tuating fortunes of the central character to make sex exciting”. literature and occasionally politics and John Self. This anxious attempt to garner Despite his finesse with pen in hand, pioneering of the postmodern genre, Amis critical acclaim represents the supplicaAmis’ most laudatory attribute is his is a worthy inheritor of his literary idols.

“...relentless physicality...”

tion of Amis’ literary craftsmanship to the humourless requirements of literary theory and the result is a predictable disappointment. This foible aside, Amis’ prose

ROBERT BIRNBAUM/RED DIAZ PHOTO GRAPHY

ore Vidal once decreed that sex, literature and politics were the three components of the human condition. This aperçu neatly categorises the life and work of Martin Amis and serves as a tripartite method with which to examine his contribution to the fin de siècle literary world. Sex is a prominent theme in Amis’ workand this pattern is continued in his recently published novel The Pregnant Widow; which flirts with the consequences of the 1960’s sexual revolution. The relentless physicality of his prose is perfectly suited to his pioneering role in examining the visceral nature of the male sexual condition. The Rachel Papers, Amis’ patriarchal debut novel and magnum opus, details in eviscerating detail the unprepossessing crudity of the complex relationship between sexual aggression, lust and ultimately compromise which led Norman Mailer to declare, “a little bit of rape is good for a man’s soul”. Amis’ own take on this is demonstrated through an observation of Charles Highway, The Rachel Papers’s protagonist, that, “it has become difficult to talk sensibly on the question of girls’ cunts”. Amis’ work is also notable for its use of irony and absurdity. His contrast in The Rachel Papers of Norman Entwistle’s priapic declaration that sleeping with a women once she has given birth was akin to ‘waving a flag in space’ with the mundanity of Norman’s claustropobic “ middle-class existence is both penetrating and revealing. Humour is also used to devastating effect. In a disarmingly charming riposte to criticisms of his remarks on Islamism, Amis mocks his detractors teasingly recalling how during bleak moods, “he longed, for their sooth-

“...that rare quality of being able to win arguments despite being clearly in the wrong...”

...a dense, monotonal work seemingly written to be taught, not read.”

Palatinate book club: The Catcher in the Rye Two contrasting reviews of J.D. Salinger’s notoriously controversial teenage rant Jess Denham

“What really knocks me out is a book that, when you’re all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it”. As is Holden Caulfield’s theory on what makes a successful novel and The Catcher in the Rye by the late J.D. Salinger seems to fit it perfectly. Shrouded in both controversy and admiration, many teenagers will see themselves reflected in Holden, his disenchanted young protagonist. Failing at school whilst struggling with the journey from childhood to maturity, the turmoils of youth are brilliantly portrayed through Holden’s experiences whilst Salinger’s effortless style and unapologetic humour are easy to relate to, inspiring

young people to discover more about their individuality. Following his exploits in New York and psychologically affected by the death of his younger brother Allie, Holden reveals that he longs to become ‘the catcher in the rye’, preventing children from falling off ‘some crazy cliff’. His poignant desperation to protect innocence will strike a chord with anyone who has ever felt disillusioned with life. Far from a comforting read, Salinger’s novel provides a disturbingly enlightening portrayal of an individual in conflict with the ‘phoney’ world of adulthood from which he feels alienated. Readers will find themselves questioning society as Holden does, in a time when we are very much victims of modern culture, technology and all that is considered ‘cool’.

James Hawthorne

Catcher in the Rye is famously popular. It’s also short, which initially endeared it to me, and my edition of Adrian Mole said that it was “the best book since Catcher in the Rye” on the blurb on the back. It is a great book for re-reading. Again, this is partly because it’s short. But at least in my mind, Catcher’s plot is so unmemorable, that you never feel as if you’re repeating yourself. There’s a place for the proto-mythic awareness of plot that we have for something like A Christmas Carol or The Matrix

but Catcher is a novel that does not need your attention. The novel takes your gaze and turns it back on your own self. Not in any serious way, of course. It is not a serious book. Think how many times it uses the word ‘phoney’. In his narration Caulfield is knowingly yet artlessly, shabbily consumed with the reader. Catcher was Salinger’s only novel, so why has it achieved such a lasting place on our bookshelves? Ask yourself why you picked it up. The outstanding feature of the novel is, of course, its popularity.

“...inspiring young people to discover their individuality...”

Poetry Corner Untitled

winter vagabond season the snow salutes the ground with staccato questions from a frustrated sky tired of no reply from a recumbent lover almost mad with the waiting almost winter vagabond season as the rat race is culled white powder picket lines round the nine til five as the day is peppered with empty coffee cups that don’t hold the dregs of anything important or anything worth reporting to a perceptive stranger who just so happened to have dropped on by it’s by the by that I love you as the snow is performing winter vagabond season as the world turns white turns pallid white you bluster on by with pool cue alibi so you don’t even have to say hi. Emily Chester

Short Story Contest! Palatinate is bringing back its Short Story Competition! It will give you a chance to demonstrate your creativity in 1,000 words or less. To be judged by our very own Chancellor Bill Bryson, get your entries in to short.story@palatinate. org.uk by 2nd March.


Games

Photography

Leisure Crossword Challenge

Stage Arts

Sudoku

Wordsquare

Crossword Clues

Across

Down

1. Church towers (8) 2. Outdoor ball game (8) 3. Turn of the century London landmark (9,4) 5. 1964 Song by Dave Clark Five (4,3,6) 6. Relating to sound waves (5)

7. Burial monuments (5) 10. Take a dispute to court (8) 11. Eagerness (8) 14. Express anger (5) 15. To say further (5)

1. Small shellfish (6) 4. More than 90, less than 180 degrees (6) 8. Same amount of food (5,7) 9. Children in need mascot (10) 12. Listen to another conversation (6) 13. Look at with pleasure (6) 16. Bullets (10) 17. Make a church no longer sacred (12) 18. Loved (6) 19. Evaluate (6)

Combining the central letter and at least three other letters, find as many words as you can! There is at least one nine-letter word. 10 Words - A-Okay 20 Words - Average 30 Words - Awesome

Photography Competition Winner Amy Postgate

Theme: Light at Night

I took this whilst in holiday in Egypt last summer. I love the sharp contrast of the colourfully-lit lanterns against the clear black sky. The details of the picture gradually become more blurred, with the stars

at the front of the picture covered with intricate patterns, whilst at the back they look nothing more than bright dots. Camera: Fujifilm Finepix

Natasha Coral (Above) Camera: Canon G9; Lens: Wide Angle Exposure: 1/5 sec @ f3.5 (ISO 200) “The fire kept spitting out embers and I loved the

Sharm el Sheikh, Egypt; August, 2009 “Whilst reclining in an Egyptian shisha bar, stars light up the night sky as far as the eyes can see.” Next Theme: A Splash of Colour Deadline: Saturday 27th February. Entries to photography@palatinate.org.uk

glow against the colour of the sky.”

Thomas Welch (Right) Camera: Canon EOS 450D Lens: Canon 18-55mm; Exposure: 25 sec @ f3.5 (ISO 800) “Blue light from another display in the background gave the cloisters a really interesting appearance.”


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