Birth Story: Expecting the unexpected

EXPECTING THE UNEXPECTED

By Natasha Harte

Kinley Rose Harte arrived 6 days late on the 23rd of September, 2014, by emergency Caesarean Section, at 12.23am.

It was 11.00pm on Sunday night. 6 days overdue and starting to feel very much like a large sea mammal in trackpants, I had been having contractions on and off for a few days. I had become so used to these “practise” contractions that I had convinced myself that tonight would be no different and I wouldn’t be having the baby anytime soon. I had been putting every old wive’s tale into practice to bring on labour - to no avail. I had also had acupuncture sessions to induce labour, starting at 38 weeks. The contractions started just as we were going to bed, and this turned out to be the first of many sleepless nights to come! They were quite uncomfortable straight off the bat but were only coming every twenty minutes or so. I would liken it to the feeling where you know you are getting a bug and just can’t get comfortable. I got out of bed and began to pace the hallway of our home. My husband, Adam, tried his best to support me, but at around 1am I thought one of us at least should get some sleep and sent him to bed, where he was asleep within minutes. This began a long night of pacing, taking baths and hoping in and out of the shower. I started to feel confident that this might be it! At around 5am I lay down to try and get some sleep (got none!) and then with sunrise my contractions stopped! Stopped! What the…..? Out of politeness, I waited until 8am to ring my amazing midwife for advice. We had a quick chat and she explained I was in a long latent phase. She asked if we would like to come up to the hospital for a check up and we jumped in the car - I am an action orientated person and this gave me something to do. As my

contractions had stopped at this point, the ride was uneventful. The day was Monday 22nd of September - Grandadto-be’s 65th birthday. Arriving at the hospital, I explained my night to my midwife and she examined me, and gave me a stretch and sweep to help get things restarted. I asked if I had dilated any centimetres yet and she said “around 2”. This doesn’t sound like much but it was very exciting. My midwife explained that baby wasn’t in a very good position (she turned out to be occiput posterior) and from her tone I gathered we might be in for a long day. We headed home again with instructions to stay hydrated and keep in touch. We arrived home at around 10am. I informed Adam at this point to call his boss - he would not be going to work today. My contractions started again around 11am, more frequent and intense but not establishing any sort of regular pattern that we could distinguish. Adam attempted to time them on the tracker app he had downloaded, but to be honest we lost focus quickly. We spent the next few hours watching TV, attempting to stay active, bouncing on a swiss ball, and taking short walks. Around lunchtime, Adam made me some marmite toast for lunch and located the hot water bottle, which I cuddled as the contractions continued. My midwife rang to see how I was going, and I decided I was happy to continue at home for the time being. By this time my mum was abreast of the situation and popped her head in to see how we were getting on, taking our dog Penny for a long walk so I could “rest.” I spent the afternoon in and out of the shower and bath, and at 7pm my midwife rang. We decided together to head to the hospital for a check up. The car ride was completely different this time. I had completely forgotten to sit in the back seat as advised by our lovely antenatal class teacher and it turned out to be a painful 10 minute drive. Somehow during

the drive I managed to butt-dial my midwife who thought I must be having the baby on the side of the road! We arrived at the hospital and I was shown into the same room I had been in that morning. My midwife asked me to pee in a cup, gave me a quick check and proudly announced I was 5cm. She asked if we would like to get things going by breaking my waters; we agreed and she broke my waters within seconds. At this moment I was very glad to have an experienced professional guiding me. The flood of my waters was a strange feeling, exactly what I imagine peeing myself would feel like, but that didn’t come till after childbirth. We discovered I was a bit dehydrated and I was given a drip. After the breaking of my waters, my contractions got very intense very quickly. Adam was instructed to turn the bath on and all inhibitions left me as I climbed in naked. The back labour was so painful at this point I was begging for an epidural (not my birth plan at all). I think it’s important to say here that my original “birth approach” was to go as natural and unmedicated as possible, but have the option for whatever else helps bring the baby into this world in the safest, best way for both of us. The anesthetist arrived quickly. The epidural itself didn’t hurt and my midwife examined me after - announcing I was fully dilated! My daughter’s stubbornness that we would grow to know and love had presented itself, and she would not descend into the correct position. I was pushing for approx 30 minutes when my midwife said calmly she would check in with the doctor. The doctor came around 20 minutes later and we had a chat about options. Although she was fantastic and took time to explain we would go to theatre to do either a forceps or c-section delivery, looking back, this is my one regret. I was so tired and overwhelmed I didn’t question enough and wished I had asked for some time alone with my midwife and husband to talk through the options. I was wheeled off to theatre, which seemed like miles down dimly lit hospital hallways. I felt like I had entered an American TV hospital drama - it was all very surreal. My husband walked with me and was then taken to change into scrubs while I was given anesthetic. Time became a blur here, but when speaking with Adam later he said he watched an entire episode of Sons of Anarchy while waiting to be called in, and that he had started to wonder if they had forgotten

about him, while I was in recovery holding our new little daughter. The head doctor was very brisk and a little bit intimidating. He explained the baby’s head was still in the abdominal cavity (not in the birth canal) and we would be going ahead with a ceasar. My baby was out within minutes, but I felt unable to enjoy the moment as I was feeling very anxious and scared. She was checked and weighed before being wrapped and handed to my husband. I saw her beautiful face for the first time and was instantly in love. It felt like the surgery took forever, but in reality it was only about an hour and a half before we were in a ward recovering. I was able to breastfeed with help as soon as we were settled into the ward. The next few days were challenging. I was emotionally drained and incredibly tired from the labour and surgery and struggled to feed while being confined to a hospital bed recovering from surgery. I was in hospital for four days before we headed home to start our new life as a family of three. Now that I am pregnant with my second baby, I have been reflecting a lot on how my first birth eventuated and plan to attempt a vaginal birth after cesarean with this baby. My daughter was born healthy and apart from a minor infection, I recovered well after the surgery, but I felt like I missed my own birth. I thought I was OK with having a C-section until a few months postpartum when I started to feel emotional pain from the surgery. My birth had felt chaotic, out of my control and scary, and it was hard to remember the small details. My advice would be, even if you think you won’t have a C-section, take the time to examine different outcomes. When it was time for mine, I felt lost and scared. I felt like a bad mum for having feelings of grief because I didn’t get the birth I wanted, when I should have been focusing on having a healthy baby girl. Remember, no matter how your baby enters the world, you’re not a failure at being a woman or giving birth, and you’re not any less of a mum.