Parenting: Responsive Parenting Tips

their head up, they won’t be interested in playing, and so they won’t be interested in eating. If you’re pushing your baby too early, before their motor skills are good enough, they’ll struggle, which can cause some of those automatic responses to feeding challenges like coughing or choking. A little bit of floppiness is okay – especially if they have been sitting unsupported in the high chair for a little bit and they’re getting tired – but if that head and trunk control is missing or really not great yet, best to just hang tight until it’s a bit more developed.

ORO-MOTOR:

Just like with gross motor skills, your baby’s oro-motor (so lips, tongue, palate, cheeks, and jaw) muscles need to be ready to go as well. A really good sign of this is bringing an empty spoon to their mouth. Do they open their mouth and let you touch their tongue with the spoon? Do they close their mouth when the spoon touches it and turn away? Does the spoon on their tongue cause a gag or a cough? If you touch their tongue with the spoon, do they seem to push the food back out with their tongue? If the first one is true, then great! That’s an excellent start. If any of the other ones are true, it’s probably a little too early, and give them another week or so before trying again.

WHAT’S NORMAL AND WHEN TO GET CONCERNED:

Remember that every baby is different! Some babies may be hitting all of these indicators at 4.5-5 months, and that’s great, you can start then. Other babies may still be lagging behind a little by 6 months, and that’s also great, you can give them a little more time. As long as your baby is managing one solid meal (and it doesn’t have to be huge, it can be just a few teaspoons) by around 7-7.5 months of age, you’re on a winner. It’s totally normal for babies to have a few negative reactions during this stage – there’s definitely going to be some coughing or gagging, and on a rare occasion maybe a choke. This is usually completely fine, especially if they can clear the solid easily. What’s important is to stay calm and encourage them, give them some help if they need it, but let them deal with the gag or cough so they know what to do. If your baby gags or coughs or chokes routinely on everything they’re eating, that’s a sign either they’re a bit young to be trying solids, or there might be something else going on, and it’s probably a good time to reach out for a bit of extra support. If your baby is really showing no interest in solids past 7 months, or you’re finding they’re getting a chesty cough or sounding a bit gurgly after each solid meal, again that’s probably an indication that it would be a good idea to have them looked over. Most of these issues can be solved really easily and quickly, and it isn’t something to worry excessively over. So have fun with your solids exploration, and enjoy this special time with your little one! Lise Bakker is a paediatric Speech-Language Therapist who specialises in neonatal and infant feeding. She works privately at Go Glow Occupational Therapy in Palmerston North, while also finishing off her PhD investigating oral feeding in Aotearoa’s neonatal units. She is happy to talk through any problems or concerns you have with your baby, and can be reached through the Go Glow website at www.goglowot.co.nz

REFERENCES:

https://www.health.govt.nz/your-health/ pregnancy-and-kids/first-year/6-12months/feeding-your-baby https://www.healthed.govt.nz/resource/ starting-solids https://www.who.int/news-room/factsheets/detail/infant-and-young-childfeeding https://www.plunket.org.nz/caring-foryour-child/feeding/solids/introducingsolid-foods/#feeding-between-three-andsix-months https://www.healthnavigator.org.nz/ healthy-living/b/baby-starting-solids/

By Tabitha Jonson

The research is very clear that how we interact with our kids impacts how their brains develop, their future relationships (with friends and partners), and how they cope with life’s ups and downs. No pressure! It can be hard to see the long game when we’re stuck in a sleepless world of nappies, “No!”s and not enough hands. However, working with our kids and helping them navigate their strong feelings through empathy and connection has numerous positive outcomes including: • Greater cooperation • Better relationships • More successful learning • Positive mental and emotional health • Positive social behaviours

TOP TIPS TIP 1 - MEET NEEDS WITH WIN-WINS.

Our kids rely on us to meet their needs. We’re it! Food, sleep, connection, play, exploration, and autonomy are all vital needs. When their behaviour isn’t working for us, look for other ways to help them meet their needs. “Hmmm…You want to play and I want to enjoy my coffee. How about we sit outside where I can watch you?”

TIP 2 - GIVE INFORMATION.

Our little ones are new to this place. Let them know what’s happening and what would be helpful. Tell them why they can’t do something and offer an alternative. This alone can prevent many a meltdown. “We’re going to the café. There might be lots of people so I’d like you to stay near me while I get our drinks then we’ll find a place where you can play. Today we’re getting smoothies.” “I don’t want you to eat the cat food because it’s not good for human tummies.”

TIP 3 – ACCEPT BIG FEELINGS

Kids brains are still under construction. The connections to the thinking part of their brain frequently get blocked and they get stuck in survival (aka tantrum) mode. Over time ( brains aren’t fully wired until early/mid-twenties!) our patience and support during meltdowns help children develop pathways that enable them to calm themselves down in future. TOP TIP: Stay close, calm & connected “You’re really angry I said no. I’ll stay with you as long as you need, sweetheart.” http://www.parentingscience.com/ authoritative-parenting-style.html Tabitha Jonson is a Mum to 2 lovable, often exasperating children and is the Facilitator for Palmerston North Parent Centre’s Responsive Parenting Course. Want to learn more about Repsonsive Parenting? Contact us at info@ palmyparentscentre.org.nz to find out when our next course will be!