10 minute read
Create One-on-One Time with Your Kids
How to Create One-on-One Time WITH YOUR KIDS
When You Have No Free Time
By Sarah Lyons
One of the biggest struggles of any busy parent, especially those parenting multiple children, is finding time to spend quality one-on-one time with each child. This can become even more overwhelming when you feel like you have very little free time. As a mom of six children, I feel the constant pressure of my to-do list combined with a heavy dose of mom-guilt over the desire to spend time with my kids. So how can you have that quality time with your kids even though it feels like you have no time to spare?
BE INTENTIONAL
One way to create some quality time with your kids is to be intentional about making it a priority. If I happen to have some alone time in the car with one of my kids, I do not let the opportunity for conversation go to waste. If my son wants to talk about Minecraft (again), which is one of my least favorite topics, I choose to listen because it is important to him. I may not fully understand what we are talking about, but he is usually happy to answer my questions and this lets him know that I take an interest in his hobbies. If my daughter lets me know she would like to spend some extra alone time with me, I make it official by putting it on the family calendar. This way it is more likely to actually happen and that time is less likely to get booked with another activity or appointment. Try scheduling one dedicated day, like the third Tuesday of each month, to have some alone time with your children.
LET IT GO
While many of my tasks are timesensitive, there are also quite a few that can wait, such as laundry or dishes. Yes, we don’t want the dishes and dirty clothes piling up so that the family has nothing to wear or eat off of, but on most occasions, it can wait an hour or even a day before they have to be washed. Your child will notice what you think is most important - them! Plus, there is the bonus of getting to put off your housework a little longer. If your chores truly cannot wait, ask your child to help put in a load of laundry and then ask if he would like to play a game, read a book, watch a movie, or bake some cookies while the washer runs.
PUT DOWN THE PHONE
Our smartphones are convenient but they also take up a lot of our free time, both for parents and kids. Set aside an hour or two a week to put the phones in time out and just talk to each other. Some families may also find it helpful to make mealtimes a no-phone zone. This is a great way to spur conversation without distractions. If you find your conversations in a lull, try a would you rather question. For example, “Would you rather never have homework or never have to eat food you didn’t like? Why?” Not only will these get conversation flowing, you might also find out some things you didn’t know about your child.
CREATE A HELPER
If setting aside chores and errands isn’t an option, ask your child to come alongside as a helper. My kids have helped me cook, do laundry, run errands, match socks, and rake leaves. Often our best conversations are while we are working on a project together. Not only will you get your chores done and spend time with your child, you are also showing them the value of hard work without even trying.
What we spend our time doing shows our children what we value. With some extra effort we can sneak in moments of quality time with our children that add up to a strong relationship. When we are intentional and make our kids a priority, it will not go unnoticed by them. Y Sarah Lyons is a mom of six children, including eight year old triplets. She lives in Kansas City with her family.
Make this Thanksgiving Meaningful
By Sarah Lyons
When we think of Thanksgiving Day, delicious food, football, and getting together with family and friends come to mind. The original purpose of Thanksgiving was to show gratitude and give thanks for a bountiful harvest. Now as we celebrate Thanksgiving it is easy to get caught up in distractions like football games, Black Friday shopping, and the quest for the perfect meal and table settings. We tend to forget all about stopping to give thanks for all of our blessings. Make this Thanksgiving meaningful by starting some family traditions that help everyone in the family stop and count their blessings.
Make a list
One way to remember your blessings is to acknowledge them. Go around the dinner table and have each person name something they are thankful for. This could be done each night at dinner during the month of November or for
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the week leading up to it. On Thanksgiving Day, have all your guests do the same. It is heartwarming to give thanks for the blessings we have. Looking for a more concrete idea? Have everyone write down or draw a picture of what they are thankful for. After everyone shares their paper, place them all in a three-ring binder. Each year add to the binder and reflect on all the blessings of the past. “We do a Thankful Tree throughout November.” says Stephanie Loux, mom of three. “I draw a tree to tape on our pantry door and the kids cut out leaves from construction paper. Each night we all write one thing we are thankful for on a leaf and tape it to the tree. Kids can be grateful for a variety of things from butterflies to Elsa. We look forward to this tradition every year.” Donate to charity
Christmas is right around the corner and many kids will receive new items as gifts. In anticipation, have the kids help clean their closets and toy boxes and set aside items they no longer need. Donate gently used toys and clothing to a local charity or family in need. This process will not only reduce clutter around the house but it will teach the kid to be generous to those that are less fortunate than they are. In the same spirit, talk with your kids about how some people may not have coats, hats, and gloves to keep them warm during the cold winter months. As a family, collect hats, coats, scarves, gloves, and blankets to donate to a homeless shelter. Gather items you may have in your home that you are no longer using and ask friends and family to do the same. Go to the store and have the kids pick out items they would like to give to another child their age. Take a break
Have each family member take a break from a luxury they enjoy. Ideas may include dessert, manicures, coffee, soda, or a favorite video game or TV show. This exercise reminds us to be grateful for the luxuries that are otherwise taken for granted. Family service project
Set aside time to do a service project as a family. Ideas may include cleaning up trash in a local park, rake a neighbor’s leaves, working at a food pantry, purchasing items for a Thanksgiving meal and delivering them to a family in need, organizing a book drive for a local children’s hospital, or adopting a family for the holidays. When you volunteer as a family, kids see you helping others and are more likely to continue serving as an adult. Serving in an area that your children are already interested in helps create excitement for the project. If your child loves singing, go caroling at a
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senior center. If your child loves to play at the park, plant flowers or pick up litter to help maintain its beauty. If they love crafts, make blankets for a homeless shelter. There are many possibilities for children of any age and skill level. Gather together
Encourage the kids to think of friends and neighbors who may not have anywhere to go on Thanksgiving and invite them to come over for dinner. Discuss the importance of hospitality and welcoming others into your home. If you are not hosting Thanksgiving, consider hosting a brunch the following day and opening your home to friends and family. Little helpers
Thanksgiving dinner preparation is a lot of work. Having the kids help prepare dinner and clean up for company will teach them how much work really goes into preparing a large meal like Thanksgiving dinner. This will teach them appreciation for the work that goes into a holiday meal and also encourages a good work ethic at a young age.
This Thanksgiving, take time to remember what Thanksgiving really means. It’s not about Black Friday deals or endless football. It’s about giving thanks for what we have, sharing with and serving others, and celebrating with those we love.
A ministry of Bay Area Chinese Bible Church A ministry of Bay Area Chinese Bible Church Monday - Friday 7am - 6pm lunch service provided 1803 North Loop Rd. Alameda, CA 94502 Facility # 013422027 TTPreschoolalameda.org Telephone # 510-995-5383 ext. 1336 Fax # 510-373-2241 kim.smith@bacbc.org 1803 North Loop Rd | Alameda | Facility # 013422027 510-995-5383 ext. 1336 | kim.smith@bacbc.org
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Full and half-day programs available Before and after school care Open 7am - 6pm
Lic #384001313 An Authentic Montessori Preschool and Kindergarten Serving children ages 2 - 6
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Ages 2.5-6 • Immediate start • Year round or school year enrollment available
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OPPORTUNITIES TO SERVE WITH YOUR KIDS
Organize a collection drive Ideas include coats, hats and gloves, blankets, toys, or clothing to donate to those in need
Fill the food pantry Take the kids shopping for favorite non-perishable food items and/or go door to door in your neighborhood to collect items to donate to a local food pantry
Offer to rake leaves or yard work for a neighbor or friend
Operation Christmas Child Fill shoeboxes to send to children overseas. Check www.samaritanspurse.org for more information and collection dates and locations
Bake cookies for friends, neighbors, or take them to the local police or fire station
Send care packages, cards, and letters to soldiers overseas
Draw pictures for seniors and deliver to an assisted living center
Volunteer at an animal shelter Plant flowers or trees
Clean up the school grounds or a local park
Have a lemonade stand or garage sale and donate proceeds to your favorite charity Y
Sarah Lyons is a busy mom of six kids, including seven-year-old triplets. Her family enjoys doing service projects together.
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We provide a Year Round Program
Infant and toddler care for ages 12-24 months Preschool for ages 2-5 years
Part-day program: 8:45 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Extended Part-day program: 8:45 a.m.-4:00 p.m. Full-day program: 7:30 a.m.-6:00 p.m.
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