6 minute read
Lessons from the First Job
Parents Learn as Much as Teens Do
Iwas sitting in my car in the parking lot of a banquet hall. I wasn’t there to attend a wedding or silver anniversary dinner. No, I was there waiting for my fifteen-yearold son.
By Katy M. Clark
Moments earlier, I had watched him walk into the office at the banquet hall. He looked so official, dressed all in black. He was reporting for his first day of work as a kitchen assistant.
With this part-time job, I hoped he would learn what all of us have learned from our first jobs: how to manage your time, respect your boss, be responsible, and work hard. I was looking forward to him earning his own money, too.
And can I add that by working a part-time job that summer he wouldn’t have so much free time to play video games? That pleased me, too.
I was waiting in the parking lot, though, because I was unsure if he needed me for anything. He had turned in his work permit and employment forms earlier in the week, but was everything in order? Did he need my signature one more time? A reminder of his social security number? And his employment contract had said no cell phones, but would he have a place to stash his or did he need to leave it with me in the car?
To be honest, it felt a bit like the worrying and hovering I had done that first day he went to kindergarten.
And just like that first day, I learned that he was going to be just fine
without me. After fifteen minutes of waiting and no sign of him coming out to hand me his phone or ask me anything, I left. As it should be.
That first day soon turned into his first week done and dusted, then into his first month completed. As time passed, I realized something surprising. Not only was my teen learning valuable life lessons from his part-time job, but I was learning a lot, too.
First, I learned that he was capable without me. He checked his schedule. He picked up his paycheck. He made sure his uniform was clean and ready for his next shift. As it should be.
Then, I learned it was okay not to be aware of every little detail of his life. His job did not send me weekly or daily emails like his high school did. My phone did not ping with constant notifications like the ones I got from his sports teams alerting me to practices and games. All communication about his job was solely between him and his employer. As it should be.
I learned that he still needed me, too. I taught him how to cash his paycheck and also how to deposit it. We talked about spending his paycheck for fun stuff while saving for the future. I introduced him to FICA and other workforce realities. I coached him on how to approach his boss about a misunderstanding over his schedule. I was there for him those times that he needed me. As it should be.
As the summer drew to a close, and my son’s return to school loomed large, I was sad when he had to give his two weeks’ notice. My son learned many valuable lessons from his first job, but I learned a lot, too. I learned that he was capable. That he didn’t need me all the time, but that he still needed me some of the time.
I learned that I could let him go, even if just a little bit, and he would be okay. As it should be.
Boston-based Mightier is Helping Kids Learn Calming Skills Through Play
By Dr. Jason Kahn
The COVID-19 pandemic exacerbated the distress among children, but the seeds of this mental health crisis were planted long before. Boston-based Mightier, a proven intervention to help build calming skills, has launched a study where families can access a video-game based, in-home program and get paid for their participation.
Prior to March 2020, many children were already showing signs of anxiety and depression, but with added social isolation, disruptions to daily routines, and uncertainty about the wellbeing of loved ones, the prevalence of symptoms increased significantly. The rise in mental and emotional health challenges among children led a group of top pediatric associations and the US Surgeon General to declare a public health crisis at the end of last year.
Another layer that adds to the challenges facing America’s youth is the shortage of child therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists available to support them. Pre-pandemic, there was roughly one mental health worker for every 500 Americans, and that margin has only grown in the last two years. Further, the U.S. healthcare system anticipates a labor shortage of nearly 60,000 primary care doctors and psychiatrists over the next decade. Unable to meet the growing demand for mental health services, the average wait time for families seeking clinical support for a struggling child in Massachusetts has ballooned to almost 4 months.
The gap between the resources available for children and families and the demand for mental and emotional wellbeing services is widening, and will only grow larger without novel tools and at-home solutions that can extend the ability to deliver care outside the walls of a provider’s office.
To bridge this divide, a greater focus on these on-demand tools is needed. Accessible, at-home solutions serve as a channel for children to experiment with and learn about their emotions on their own schedule and in their own way, ultimately building greater
self-confidence and resilience. Video games and apps, such as Mightier, can help children develop the coping skills needed to decrease feelings of anxiety, anger, or frustration and see reduced symptoms while having fun. By overlaying clinically validated strategies for emotional regulation on popular video games for kids, Mightier blends learning with playing.
Mightier is conducting a study sponsored by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) and is looking for families to join. The paid study seeks to determine if playing Mightier can improve emotional regulation and reduce the overall cost of behavioral healthcare by making tools and resources more accessible for families. The study doesn’t require office visits and is offered at no cost to families. Participants who complete the study will also receive $300. Children ages 8-12 who have health insurance in Massachusetts and have used behavioral healthcare in the past year are eligible. Enrollment for the study will continue through September.
To learn more about participation, visit https://be.mightier.com/study-bos.
Dr. Jason Kahn is the Chief Science Officer and co-founder of Mightier, researcher at Boston Children’s Hospital, Harvard Medical School.
