12 minute read
Products We Love—for Mom
Best for MomWe love it and she will too!
By Elena Epstein, Director of the National Parenting Product Awards
The Cloud Robe
Buttery soft and a great addition for mom’s lounge wardrobe. Lightweight, airy and stylish. $118, www.bumpsuit.co
Qeepsake
Makes it effortless for mom to capture life’s journey. The mobile app sends members daily texts, prompting them to text back a favorite story, moment or milestone with a photo. It securely builds these texts and photos into a digital journal that can be shared with family and printed into a book. $95.88, www.qeepsake.com
Milkmakers Rest + Rise Pregnancy Wellness Balms
With shea butter and jojoba oil, these soothing balms are infused with therapeutic essential oils that relax and awaken the sense. Dab them on wrists, temples and pulse points for an instant dose of pre or post-natal self-care. $20, www.munchkin.com
Mommy Goes to Work
A sweet book with bright and imaginative illustrations celebrating working moms. This playful story sparks imaginations, calms separation anxiety and eases mommy guilt. $19.99, www.woom.us
Willow Go
Designed for multitasking, allowing moms to break free from the wall and quietly and discreetly pump hands-free with no cords, tubes or dangling bottles. In-bra wearable pump offers up to 14oz of capacity with hospital strength suction. $329 (or less with certain insurance plans), www.onewillow.com
Bamboo Seamless No Rub Thigh Saver
Made from premium bamboo fabric—ultra-soft, lightweight and breathable. With a seamless, smooth design and built-in gusset, these also work well as an undergarment for skirts and dresses. Choose the Maternity cut (with an over-the-bump panel and gentle support for your growing bump) or the Postpartum cut (which sits at your natural waist). $19.99, www.kindredbravely.com
HOFISH Women’s Maternity Leggings
Designed for comfort of moms. The high waist design can lift the buttocks to protect the waist. Stretchy and comfortable for all day wear. $21.99, www.hofish.net
You Are Magic
Moms and kids will love singing along this upbeat album exploring the silly and sensitive sides of childhood. An anthem about the power of imagination. $10, www.tenderlovingempire.com
LeapFrog LF925HD Remote Access Smart Video Baby Monitor
Give moms a hassle-free way to watch over little ones. Features vertical tilt angle, side to side 360-degree horizontal pan capability, Color Night Vision technology, soothing sounds and calming melodies. $159.95, www.store.leapfrog.com
FRONT
The Moodies
Moms can share cuddles and big feelings with their kids with these adorable storybooks. These social-emotional learning books are crafted by childhood development experts to promote positive selfexpression. $29, www.owlandoak.co
To My Teenage Son:
What I Want for Mother’s Day from You
By Katy M. Clark
Iknow better than to expect a handmade card from you this year. Or a necklace made out of macaroni noodles or a stone painted with the words, “Mom, you rock!” After all, you are in high school.
I will always treasure those cards and gifts from when you were younger, but what I wish for on Mother’s Day now that you are a teen has changed.
So, as you roll out of bed, probably forgetting about my special day even though your dad reminded you at least once, let me share what I want for Mother’s Day.
These are the gifts that would mean the world to me this Mother’s Day: • That I may always have a full pack of gum from which you can mooch. • That my front seat continues to be a welcoming place for you to sit and chat with me, with plenty of legroom as you keep growing. • That we always bond over our cat, talking to her in baby voices and cracking each other up. (You could step it up in the litter box cleaning department, though.) • That you will always want to tell me about who you eat lunch with at school. • That I can help you with your Language Arts homework when you ask because you know it was my strongest subject and it’s not yours. • That I always have enough snacks for you in the pantry, and that I remember to buy two pounds of meat, instead of one, for recipes. You definitely have a bigger appetite these days. • That I can encourage you to be your best in whatever role your coach feels is right for you, forgetting about playing time and focusing on teamwork and skill development. • That I relax about how much you enjoy Fortnite and other video games, savoring the time you are in my house and under my roof even as you scamper through a virtual world. • That I continue to bring you a bowl of cereal in the morning as you fall back asleep on the couch before school. It’s a little thing you could do for yourself, but I don’t mind. • That it will continue to be easy between you and me when I tease you about those girls you message on Snapchat. • That I have the agility to dodge the laundry you leave on your bedroom floor and the patience to teach you – again – how to fold clothes and put them away.
Okay, I see your face. You are wondering how you can wrap any of these “gifts” or if I’m serious about them at all.
Please know that I am.
But don’t worry about getting me everything. The truth is that I’ve already received the greatest gift this Mother’s Day: The gift to be your mom, especially during these teen years.
Stop making that face. I’m serious.
And yes, you can have a piece of gum. It’s in my purse.
You know where.
TheFourStages of Teenage Girls
By Cheryl Maguire
Iam the lucky mother of not one but two beautiful teenage daughters. When they were younger, they loved to spend time with me going to the grocery store or just being in my general orbit. They always called after me, “mama, can I come with you?” Then as they grew older, they dropped the “mama” along with wanting to spend even five seconds anywhere near my general vicinity. They referred to me as “mmmooooommmmm” only when they wanted something. These different phases are commonly seen in human development, especially in girls. Like the metamorphosis of the caterpillar into a butterfly, there are various stages of the life cycle. Here are the stages of the human teenage girl.
Stage 1
THE TEEN COMMENCES STAGE—BYE, BYE BARBIE
The first stage of butterfly development is referred to as “egg” since they are growing inside the egg. For the human teenager, this begins at around age 10 or 11. The mother first observes that all of their princess garb has been donated to Goodwill— even the precious tiaras. And then these species will start referring to their once beloved Barbie dolls—that they owned enough of to populate an entire city—as toys meant for “babies.” The most challenging aspect of this phase for the mother is that they no longer want to spend their time going grocery shopping or any other activity. The mother will discover that their daughter is doing unusual behaviors like, “rolling their eyes” anytime they interact with them. And their daughter is suddenly using lots of statements like, “mom you’re so embarrassing” or “I’m bored” and there is frequent use of the word, “no.”
Stage 2
THE SILENT STAGE—WHAT?
The second stage of butterfly development is the “larva or caterpillar” when they are ferociously eating everything in sight. The teenage girl development is the opposite— they remain out of sight and cease all forms of communication with the mother with the exception of the word “no”. The use of eye-rolling increases significantly along with feelings of boredom and the number of times they are embarrassed by their mother. This phase is also marked by the use of noise-canceling headphones so that all forms of the mother’s voice are totally terminated or silenced. Often the mother will try to speak to the teenage girl only to receive a lack of any response since they can’t hear anything. On rare occasions, the mother might hear an annoyed utterance of the word, “What?!” when the mother is literally standing in front of them waving their hands and shouting, “How was school today?”
Stage 3
THE ANGER STAGE—THE VILLAIN EMERGES
The third stage of the butterfly life cycle is the “pup or chrysalis” when metamorphosis of the caterpillar to the butterfly begins. For the teenage girl, this is when she transitions from the princess into the villain. All of that silence in stage two has been brewing like a simmering volcano that is ready to erupt. Any attempt at communication is met with resistance and anger with phrases like, “Mom I don’t need your advice!” or “Stop asking me how my day at school was!” or “You are so embarrassing!” The eye-rolling is so frequent that the mother wonders if this is some sort of medical condition since it’s not physically possible to willingly roll your eyes that much. Plus, there is a hint of disgust mixed with anger that protrudes from the end of the roll.
Stage 4
THE ADULT STAGE—THE TEENAGE GIRL TRANSFORMED
The fourth and final stage of the butterfly metamorphosis is the “adult butterfly” when the butterfly materializes from the chrysalis—with their colorful wings fluttering all around. In this stage, the teenage girl finally removes her noise-canceling headphones from her ears and articulates full sentences without a hint of anger. The eye-rolling has diminished significantly—almost to extinction. The teenage girl willingly wants to spend time with the mother and even accompanies her to the grocery store—a full circle of the life cycle. Some have even observed them wearing a tiara, but you have to watch unnoticed from afar.
Even though the first three stages can be tough on the mother, stage four is worth the wait. Some might even refer to the daughter as a social butterfly.
Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, National Geographic, Washington Post, Parents Magazine, AARP, Healthline, Your Teen Magazine and many other publications. She is a professional member of ASJA. You can find her at Twitter @CherylMaguire05
Lessons from the First Job
Parents Learn as Much as Teens Do
Iwas sitting in my car in the parking lot of a banquet hall. I wasn’t there to attend a wedding or silver anniversary dinner. No, I was there waiting for my fifteen-yearold son.
By Katy M. Clark
Moments earlier, I had watched him walk into the office at the banquet hall. He looked so official, dressed all in black. He was reporting for his first day of work as a kitchen assistant.
With this part-time job, I hoped he would learn what all of us have learned from our first jobs: how to manage your time, respect your boss, be responsible, and work hard. I was looking forward to him earning his own money, too.
And can I add that by working a part-time job that summer he wouldn’t have so much free time to play video games? That pleased me, too.
I was waiting in the parking lot, though, because I was unsure if he needed me for anything. He had turned in his work permit and employment forms earlier in the week, but was everything in order? Did he need my signature one more time? A reminder of his social security number? And his employment contract had said no cell phones, but would he have a place to stash his or did he need to leave it with me in the car?
To be honest, it felt a bit like the worrying and hovering I had done that first day he went to kindergarten.
And just like that first day, I learned that he was going to be just fine
without me. After fifteen minutes of waiting and no sign of him coming out to hand me his phone or ask me anything, I left. As it should be.
That first day soon turned into his first week done and dusted, then into his first month completed. As time passed, I realized something surprising. Not only was my teen learning valuable life lessons from his part-time job, but I was learning a lot, too.
First, I learned that he was capable without me. He checked his schedule. He picked up his paycheck. He made sure his uniform was clean and ready for his next shift. As it should be.
Then, I learned it was okay not to be aware of every little detail of his life. His job did not send me weekly or daily emails like his high school did. My phone did not ping with constant notifications like the ones I got from his sports teams alerting me to practices and games. All communication about his job was solely between him and his employer. As it should be.
I learned that he still needed me, too. I taught him how to cash his paycheck and also how to deposit it. We talked about spending his paycheck for fun stuff while saving for the future. I introduced him to FICA and other workforce realities. I coached him on how to approach his boss about a misunderstanding over his schedule. I was there for him those times that he needed me. As it should be.
As the summer drew to a close, and my son’s return to school loomed large, I was sad when he had to give his two weeks’ notice. My son learned many valuable lessons from his first job, but I learned a lot, too. I learned that he was capable. That he didn’t need me all the time, but that he still needed me some of the time.
I learned that I could let him go, even if just a little bit, and he would be okay. As it should be.
