Boston Parent September 2023

Blasting off Back to School

Tips to Help Your Child Gain Confidence in the Classroom

Reads for Back to School

Books for Ages 4-14+

Homework

Habits: How to Motivate Kids

5 Expert Tips to Help Teens with ADHD

New England Fall Bucket List

7 Ways to Start the School Year Right

Photos by Brooke Trisolini

Fall Math Classes Now Enrolling

The Russian School of Mathematics is an award-winning after-school math enrichment program. We use the rigorous study of mathematics as a vehicle to develop our students’ math fluency, intellect, and character, empowering them for life.

RSM is “among the top 10 schools in the world.” – Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth

Family F.Y.I. 2023 FAMILY FAVORITE AWARDS

Our annual Family Favorites issue is available online and covers more than 100 different categories, including places to shop and dine, family fun, attractions, school and enrichment programs and health professionals. Available online at BostonParentsPaper. com —just click on Family Favorites in the “Magazines” tab.

Private School Online Open House Calendar

What better way to keep track of all the preschool and private school’s admission events than this handy tool! With over 50 entities participating, check out the Online Open House & Admissions Calendar on BostonParentsPaper.com. Look for the School Open Houses button on the main header bar and tap. Don’t forget to tell them you saw their event on https://bostonparentspaper.com

September is CLASSICAL MUSIC MONTH

If you aren’t already a fan of the genre, you may be surprised by some of its alleged benefits. Classical music has been shown to help treat insomnia in college students (if only it worked on toddlers!) and a study found that playing it softly while dining actually encouraged people to eat slower and therefore consume fewer calories.

Happy Harvest

W hile we don’t officially say goodbye to summer until September 22, this year’s Harvest Moon takes place on September 29. Before we had the artificial light that we have today, farmers used the light from the Harvest Moon to tend to their crops after sundown.

Super Food of the Month

Apple picking season’s here! That old adage about keeping the doctor away is true, so take advantage of your rich-in-antioxidant harvest. Try apple marinade or apple salsa, in addition to the usual apple crisp, applesauce and pie. Apple butter made overnight in a crock pot is yummy, too. Visit https://bostonparentspaper. com/apple-picking-at-farms-and-orchards-inmassachusetts/ for a list of local orchards.

Family F.Y.I.

Bullying Signs and Tips

Bryana Cox, BS Injury Prevention Program, Boston Children’s Hospital

There are many warning signs that indicate when someone is being bullied. It is important to notice these signs because the bullied may be dealing with other underlying issues and may not always ask for help.

Some common signs that someone is being bullied can include: unexplainable injuries, valuable items are suddenly broken or have disappeared, frequent illness on school days, change in eating habits (children may skip lunch at school to avoid their bully), avoidance of social situations, feeling selfconscious, difficulty sleeping accompanied by nightmares, decline in school interest, and poor school performance. Bullying can make someone feel helpless; more often than not, the victim remains silent out of fear, as they are worried about backlash from telling someone. If you or someone you know is being bullied here are some helpful hints on how to handle the bully:

• If you feel safe, confront the person who is bullying you. If you do not feel safe confronting your bully then avoid them; do not avoid them to the point of misses your classes, but try to take a different route to class avoiding any confrontation.

Happy Grandparents Day!

Annually the first Sunday after Labor Day is celebrated as Grandparents Day. The tradition started in 1978 while President Jimmy Carter was in office and has carried through to today because, well, who doesn’t love to honor Grandma and Grandpa? So whether your child can see theirs in person to offer a hug or have to settle for a phone call, make sure to let ’em know they’re loved.

• Grab a friend; walking with a friend is less nerve racking than walking by yourself, and the bully may be intimidated if there is more than one of you.

• Be a friend yourself; if you have a friend who is also being bullied offer to walk with them to class.

Remember, do not be silent: 45% of those bullied never report their experience, so make sure to let someone like a teacher, parent, or supervisor know about what is going on because they will be better equipped to handle the situation. If the bullying has surpassed the point of intervention and has led to physical or sexual attacks, racist or homophobic slurs, or sharing private information online, then you must report these incidents to the police, as these are criminal acts that should not go unnoticed. Most importantly, take care of yourself. Being bullied is difficult to deal with and might make one want to isolate themselves from others. Don’t let this happen; surround yourself with support and do activities that can reduce your stress like eating healthy, exercising, and meditating.

Keep Lunch Boxes Safe

As we’re packing our kids’ lunch boxes this school year, the Institute of Food Technologists (IFT) have a few things they’d like parents to keep in mind. For example, make sure you use an insulated container for meals you hope to keep warm. They suggest first filling the container with boiling water, allowing it to stand for a few minutes before emptying. Then add the hot food. This will help keep bacterial contamination and growth to a minimum. And those soft lunch boxes? Rinse them with water or spray with a chlorine sanitizer to keep them clean. Y

Reads for Back to School!

Ages 4-8

MR. S

By Monica Arnaldo

Author-illustrator Monica Arnaldo serves up a hilarious picture book about a kindergarten class arriving for the first day of school that can’t find their teacher—only a delicious-looking sandwich and the words “Mr. S” scribbled on the chalkboard. Chaos ensues as the kids argue whether or not the sandwich must be their teacher. A comical book of mayhem and chaos, perfect for back-to-school and fans of Miss Nelson Is Missing.

A SMART, SMART SCHOOL

By Sharon Creech

Illustrations by Anait Semirdzhyan

Newbery Medal winner Sharon Creech delivers A Smart, Smart School, the companion to the New York Times bestselling and perennial picture book favorite A Fine, Fine School. Beloved characters Tillie, Beans, and Mr. Keene return, with a timely message about the importance of creativity in the classroom.

MAX AND MOONBEAN

By Rob Scotton

Rob Scotton, beloved author of the bestselling Splat the Cat and Russell the Sheep series, returns with the first book in a brand-new picture book series about a shy young dog and his out-of-this-world friend.

THANK YOU, TEACHER!

By Cate Berry

Illustration by Sara Varon

A hilarious, rhyming ode to all the teachers of young children who go above and beyond. Perfect for Teacher Appreciation Week.

Ages 8-12

THE VANDERBEEKERS EVER AFTER

By Karina Yan Glaser

The Vanderbeekers find love and hope in hard times when a family member is diagnosed with leukemia and their community comes together to meet the challenges that follow in the concluding volume of the beloved New York Times bestselling series. On sale 9/19/2023

THE WIDELY UNKNOWN MYTH OF APPLE & DOROTHY

By Corey Ann Haydu

Critically acclaimed author Corey Ann Haydu crafts a spellbinding tale about two of today’s earthly descendants of Greek gods, nymphs, and muses as they’re faced with a decision that will change the course of their lives forever. This stunning middle grade novel displays the powerful influence of myths, magic, and two friends both bound and separated by two worlds. On sale 9/19/2023

HOOKY VOLUME 3

By Míriam Bonastre Tur

The witchy middle grade adventure from the #1 digital comic platform WEBTOON comes to an epic conclusion as Dani and Dorian struggle to overcome their demons and work together for the good of their world years after they first left home. A classic good versus evil struggle plays out on an epic stage in this hilarious, heartwarming comic.

JAYSON GOES FOR IT!

By Brayden Harrington with David Ritz

From fourteen-year-old author Brayden Harrington, the young boy who electrified the nation when he spoke at the Democratic National Convention in 2020, comes a fictional middle grade contemporary story about a boy named Jayson who stutters and the challenges he faces and the obstacles he must overcome as he campaigns for studentbody president.

THE SECRET SISTERS

By Avi

Old traditions conflict with modern notions when a girl determined to define her own place graduates from a rural one-room schoolhouse to a small town’s bustling school, in Newbery medalist Avi’s sequel to The Secret School.

WE STILL BELONG

By Christine Day

A thoughtful and heartfelt middle grade novel by American Indian Youth Literature Honor–winning author Christine Day (Upper Skagit), about a girl whose hopeful plans for Indigenous Peoples’ Day (and asking her crush to the dance) go all wrong—until she finds herself surrounded by the love of her Indigenous family and community at the intertribal powwow.

WILL ON THE INSIDE

By Andrew Eliopulos

After dedicated soccer player Will is sidelined from the season—and his friend group—due to complications from his newly diagnosed Crohn’s disease, he finds himself figuring out who he really is on the inside in this heartfelt and thoughtful middle grade novel for readers who love books by Maulik Pancholy and Christine Day.

THE MONKEY TRIAL: JOHN SCOPES AND THE BATTLE OVER TEACHING EVOLUTION

By Anita Sanchez

This riveting examination of the notorious trial of a teacher whose arrest for teaching still reverberates a hundred years later is highly engaging, deeply researched, and compellingly timely.

THE SUPERTEACHER PROJECT

By Gordon Korman

Ungifted meets The Unteachables in this hilarious new novel by bestselling author Gordon Korman about a mysterious new teacher who turns out to be an AI robot from a secret experimental program.

Ages 14+

MURDER ON A SCHOOL NIGHT

By Kate Weston

A hilarious murder mystery–rom-com from author and comedian Kate Weston sets amateur sleuth Kerry hot on the trail of a menstrual murderer who is out for blood, perfect for fans of Truly Devious and Fleabag.

AMERICA REDUX: VISUAL STORIES FROM OUR DYNAMIC HISTORY

By Ariel Aberg-Riger

A critical, unflinching cultural history and fierce beacon of hope for a better future, visual storyteller Ariel Aberg-Riger’s debut is a necessary and galvanizing read. Y

NewFallEngland Bucket List

By Kelly Bryant

Not to get all Game of Thrones on you, but winter is coming and we all know what that means – lots of time indoors. Since absolutely nothing about that is ideal for families who just want to get out and run, we’ve created your must-do bucket list for the fall. Yes, all of the things you’ll want on your radar to really get the wiggles out before hibernation kicks in. Will it entirely ease the pain when you’re cooped up for a few months? Probably not, but at least you’ll have the fun memories to keep you (kinda) warm.

QUICK WEEKEND GETAWAYS

Whether you want to take advantage of a three-day weekend or simply want to do a one-nighter to get out of town for a fast recharge, these spots are downright wonderful.

ANCHORAGE INN

While you’re taking in the splendor that is the fall foliage of New England, stay at Maine’s most family-oriented resort – the Anchorage Inn. There’s an indoor pool so your kids can swim to their heart’s content even when the weather has turned too chilly to do so outdoors. And their Sun and Surf restaurant

(207-363-2961) is not to be missed. It’s open on most weekends from February through November, so make sure you call first before assuming service is in full swing. 265 Long Beach Ave., York Beach, Maine; 207-363-5112; anchorageinn.com.

INN AT EAST HILL FARM

Don’t just visit the farm for an afternoon, experience it for a weekend! Your kids will love the Inn at East Hill Farm, which offers a host of activities year-round depending on the season. Though out the fall you’ll find special schedules that provide a little something for everybody, and a Harvest

Anchorage Inn

Photo by Heidi Kirn Photography, courtesy of Anchorage Inn

Festival Weekend that will really get you into the spirit of this gorgeous season. And not only is there cool stuff for kids, but grown-ups can grab some much-needed downtime with a massage or reflexology. 460 Monadnock St., Troy, N.H.; 603-242-6495; east-hill-farm.com

WILDFLOWER INN

Get outdoors and get active at this Vermont inn that boasts the fact that Kingdom Trails runs right through their property – so cool! There is all types of biking available (even balance bike rentals for the littles!) as well as hiking, gardens and even a playroom and playgrounds for kids. You’ll be oh-so-close to the Vermont Reindeer Farm and tree climbing with the New England Tree Climbing Association. What’s not to love? 2059 Darling Hill Road, Lyndonville, Vt.; 802-626-8310; wildflowerinn.com

40 years of play!

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Inn at East Hill Farm

Photo courtesy of Inn at East Hill Farm

Photo courtesy of The Reindeer Farm

Vermont Reindeer Farm

FARMERS’ MARKETS

Knowing that your produce is truly sourced locally can make you feel good about what you’re eating, just one thing that makes farmers’ markets so darn special. You have until November to enjoy Copley Square Farmers’ Market (St. James Avenue, and Dartmouth and Boylston Streets, Boston, Mass.), which is in full swing on Tuesdays and Fridays. Not only do they have fruits and veggies, but ready-to-eat foods are plentiful if you’re not in the mood to cook. Everett

BIKE

Forget the four wheels parked in your garage and break out the two-wheelers. Go for a family ride through Boston on the Emerald Necklace and Fall Foliage Tour you breathe in the fresh, crisp air. The Battle Road Trail that begins at Meriam’s Corner in Concord, Massachusetts, is also a great path to follow when you have your whole clan because the five-mile route is not only part of Minute Man National Park, but it also tends to be less packed than some other popular area trails. You might also want to head over to the Paul Dudley White Charles River Bike Path (251 Causeway St., Boston, Mass.) for a lengthier trail (it’s 18 miles) that you can break up into shorter rides when your kids just aren’t having it.

Farmers’ Market (Broadway and Norwood Streets, Everett, Mass.) is open from 9 a.m. – 1 p.m. on Saturdays, so ideal for early risers who want to get a start on their weekend shopping while soaking up some sun. Fans of Ashland Farmers’ Market (125 Front St., Ashland, Mass.) rave that they can basically do all of their grocery shopping here as the vendors range from those selling grass-fed beef to those offering fruits and veggies they’ve grown themselves.

Copley Square Farmers’ Market

Minute Man National Park

Photo by Caroline Culler, wikimedia commons

Photo by Jay Sullivan, wikimedia commons

CORN MAZES

It wouldn’t be fall without a masterful corn maze to delight your kids. Mike’s Maze (25 South Main St., Sunderland, Mass.) is a popular spot that’s route is brand new each and every year. They also have a themed game to help you find clues and figure out puzzles to explore different parts of the maze. You can also stop by Hanson’s Farm’s own variation – Tom and Matt’s Excellent Adventure Corn Maze (20 Nixon Road, Framingham, Mass.) for a wicked corn maze plus pick your own fruits, vegetables and flowers, hayrides and a tent-covered picnic area.

Russell Orchards Apple Picking

STARGAZE

Gazing up at the night sky can feel magical to kids both big and small. If you want to give your kids a quick lesson in constellations (or just stare dreamily at them), go to Castle Island (Day Blvd., South Boston, Mass.), the park that also serves as the home to Fort Independence. There’s plenty of green space to lay a blanket and get lost in the stars. Coit Observatory (725 Commonwealth Ave., Boston, Mass.) is a natural choice for learning all about what’s above us, even getting an up-close look with telescopes and binoculars that are available for use. Y

Mike’s Maze Photo by David Every, google.com

7 WAYS to Start the School Year Right

By Janeen Lewis

1. Reintroduce Routines

It’s easy to get off schedule during the summer when longer days beckon kids outside late and sleeping in is easy to do. Introduce routines for going to bed and waking up before school starts because it may take children a few days to adjust. Read a book together as a family to simulate academic routine before daily homework starts. If you have tweens or teens that have been staying up late, take their bed time back 15 minutes every night until you get to the desired bedtime so it isn’t too much of a shock to kids’ sleep cycles.

2. Get Organized

Organize those areas that you will use for school preparations. Make a place for lunch and breakfast items in the refrigerator and pantry so they will be ready to go when making lunches or breakfast. Restock home desk supplies and prep study areas. Organize your laundry room with baskets for school uniforms, sports uniforms, and individual kid’s clothes. Don’t overlook your vehicle. Keep a basket with all the things you might need for those busy hectic drives between school, work and after-school activities.

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School bells will soon be ringing, and while that means no more sleeping in or lazy days at the pool, welcoming structure and routine back into family life helps get kids who are reluctant to return to school more motivated to go. With a positive attitude and a few back-to-school motivators, even reluctant school goers can start the school year off right. And getting off on the right foot paves the way for school success for the entire year.

3. Purge Last Year’s Items

Go through backpacks and closets and get rid of anything that is outgrown or worn out. Sell the nicest items at consignment stores or a yard sale, and save what you make to put toward new items this school year.

If your child has a hard time letting go of items even though they are worn out or don›t fit, try putting them in storage for a month or two, then bring them back out. I›ve done this with my own kids, and usually they are willing to give up the items when they realize they haven›t missed them.

4. Devise a Shopping Strategy

After you have purged your home of old items, it is fun to replace them. Sometimes kids get excited about returning to school because they get new clothes and supplies.

Check out all the sales flyers and compare prices for the things your child needs. Make a shopping list of needed school supplies, clothing items and any organizing tools you might need for closets. If your school has already sent a supply list, you can shop early and avoid the crowds and out-of-stock items. Sometimes I even shop late in the evening for school supplies when the aisles are less crowded so I can look carefully for what my kids need. The more you plan, the more you can do in one trip. You might even make it a special day out with kids.

5. Attend School Orientations

Sneak-a-peek. Back-to-School Night. Readyfest. They are called a variety of names, but back-to-school orientations are another way to create a desire to go back to school. Students can meet their teacher, check out their classroom and see friends they haven’t seen all summer. This can make students previously hesitant to return to school eager to get started.

6. Set Goals

Help your child set a goal for the school year, or set a family goal together. Maybe your child wants to ace pre-algebra, start a kid blog or read more books than they read last year. Or maybe he or she wants to kick more goals in soccer this year or nail that back handspring they have been working on in gymnastics. As a family, maybe you want to volunteer together at school or raise money for a worthy cause in the community. Setting goals can motivate kids and families to have an amazing school year.

7. Celebrate with Back-to-school Traditions

It can be simple, like snapping a morning photo shoot before the first day of school, or elaborate, like hosting a neighborhood back-toschool bash at your house. Have a family meal at your favorite restaurant after the first day or plan a special weekend getaway before homework and sporting events kick in. Whatever you choose, model an upbeat attitude about the start of a new school year, and chances are your child will too. Y

Janeen Lewis is a writer, elementary teacher and mom. She has been published in several parenting publications across the country and Chicken Soup for the Soul: Teacher Tales.

After you have purged your home of old items, it is fun to replace them. Sometimes kids get excited about returning to school because they get new clothes and supplies.

Tips to Help Your Child GAIN CONFIDENCE in the Classroom

By Jan Pierce

Our children have had a rough several years of learning due to the pandemic and now it’s time to re-focus on classroom interactions. Some younger children haven’t had time to experience the way a classroom normally works. How do they behave in a large group? What if they need help? What if they make a mistake? How responsive will the teacher be to individual needs? Parents can help children take optimal advantage of their learning environment by teaching some basic learning skills. Your child doesn’t have to be top of the class to enjoy learning and be a thriving, healthy part of his or her classroom.

Here are some tips to help your child be a proactive, happy learner:

Be Prepared to Learn

Teachers notice when children come to school prepared to learn. They have the right supplies; they’ve eaten breakfast and have had enough sleep. They brought back the permission slip for the field trip and they have their lunch money.

Yes, it’s a lot of work for parents to keep up with all the activities at school. And at some point children need to take responsibility for those things themselves, but not yet. Not when they’re in grade school and are just learning how to manage responsibilities. Be the parent who takes care of business and put your child in the best position to receive approval from the folks at school.

Knowing When to Listen Carefully

The best student in the world can’t be on high listening alert all day long. But successful students know when to listen carefully and that is one of the most important skills a student can learn. You can explain to your child that it’s vital to listen carefully when a teacher is giving exit directions before independent work times. These times

usually come when the entire class is gathered and a new subject is introduced. Just before the children move to work independently the explicit directions are given. Good teachers usually leave written directions where students can refer to them as they work.

Practice listening skills with your children. When are the times you need them to listen and remember? Help them see the difference between casual listening and focused listening when they need to act on the directions given.

Knowing How to Follow Directions

It may seem easy to adults, but children often don’t know how to follow directions. Most directions are sequential: “Get your paper, write your name at the top, then do problems one through ten.” For some children all the words get jumbled up and they fail to do the first thing correctly. You can practice following directions at home and teach coping skills if the child forgets. Listening and following directions are key skills in learning and the earlier children can perform in these areas, the better they’ll do on classroom assignments.

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Play a game in which you give two directions: “Go to the door and tap on it three times, then stand by the coffee table.” When the child can do two directions correctly try for three. Keep adding until a mistake is made. Children can become quite adept at following directions using this method.

Knowing How to Ask Questions

Here is a typical conversation in a first grade classroom: Teacher: Does anyone have any questions before we start our work? Student: “My hamster had babies last night.” This little interchange may bring smiles to adult’s faces, but it highlights the fact that many children don’t know the difference between statements and questions. And, they don’t understand the difference between appropriate questions and those that are off-task. Asking questions at the appropriate time and about the topic at hand is absolutely one of the most important skills a learner can master. It’s good to ask questions when we need information or clarification. It’s smart to ask good questions. But a child

who hasn’t really mastered the art of asking will be lost, and without the information they need to do a good job.

Practice asking clear, concise questions. “I understand how to write complete sentences using these words, but I don’t understand how you want me to change the action words. Vague questions like “How do I do this?” or statements like “I don’t get it.” leave the teacher wondering where to begin. Say to your child, “What, exactly do you need? And then prompt until the question is clear.

Social Skills: Kindness and Being Aware of Others’ Needs

Not every child will earn straight A’s. Yes, there are average students in every classroom. And that’s okay if the child is working to his or her potential. But some children seem more adept at building relationships and maintaining friendships than others. This is the child who notices when a friend is sad or needs to borrow a pencil. This is the child who shares with others and takes turns. He plays fair. She notices when a friend needs encouragement.

Don’t underestimate the value of social skills when it comes to success in the classroom. Your child may not solve every math problem correctly, but if he is a good friend and a kind, caring person, you’ve got a lot to be proud of and the classroom is enriched. Help your child notice when others seem sad. Guide them to ways to help or share or show they care.

Practice: “Did you notice that Katie seemed sad today? I wonder if we could do something to cheer her up?” Or, “I like the way you shared your Legos with your friends. Being a good friend is really important in our family.”

Success in the classroom is more than achieving high marks on assignments. Just as in all of life, being a responsible, kind and caring person is just as important as being the best at what we do. Give your kids a boost by teaching them to master good classroom skills and watch them soar. Y

Jan Pierce, M.Ed., is a retired teacher and the author of Homegrown Readers and Homegrown Family Fun. Find Jan at www.janpierce.net.

Success in the classroom is more than achieving high marks on assignments. Just as in all of life, being a responsible, kind and caring person is just as important as being the best at what we do.

Homework Habits: How to Motivate Kids

By Sarah Lyons

When it comes to homework, it can seem impossible to get kids motivated to start or stay on task. It can be especially frustrating when you know your child is smart and capable but they aren’t willing to put in the time and effort it takes to get the grades you know they can. As parents, we want our kids to put their best effort into their schoolwork without having to pester them and have the situation affect our relationship in a negative way. Here are some tips to help motivate your kids to stay on task.

Establish clear expectations

One way to avoid a constant battle is to communicate in advance what your expectations are. When will homework be completed? Will it start immediately after school or after dinner? Let your child know where it is appropriate to work. Some kids are able to stay on task if they are alone in their bedroom while others may find toys or electronics distracting. Other kids may prefer to work at the kitchen table while others may find this to be too distracting because of other family activities around them. Other kids need to be reminded that sitting in front of the TV while working on homework is not a good idea.

Once you have established when and where they will work, make sure they have easy access to the supplies they need. It is also a good idea to let your child know what your expectations are for homework. Instead of focusing on the grade itself, let them know you expect their best work, that homework will be turned in on time, and that you are available to help if needed.

Another way you can motivate your child is by letting them know that they can do something they enjoy after their homework is completed. For example - “When you finish your reading, you can go outside and play.” or “When you are done with your math homework you can watch a TV show.” This communicates the importance of homework over leisure time and gives them a motivation to complete it.

Set an example and be supportive

One of the biggest motivators for kids is to have their parents support them in the challenges they face on a daily basis. This does not mean that you do your child’s homework for them or that you bribe or reward them every time they do their homework. A high five or a “I knew you could do it!” are usually enough to put a smile on your child’s face. Parents can also show their support by setting an example. If your child is sitting down at the table to work on homework,

Parents can help their kids with their school projects and homework but when it comes down to it, the kids themselves are responsible for their own homework and grades.

it may be a perfect time to sit down and work on writing a grocery list, sorting mail, or adding things to your calendar. You will set an example and create a quiet environment for your child to work while getting a few things off your own to do list.

Teach them responsibility

Parents can help their kids with their school projects and homework but when it comes down to it, the kids themselves are responsible for their own homework and grades. It can be tough for parents to do but allowing kids to face the natural consequences of their work (or lack thereof) will help them learn responsibility. If your child puts in minimal effort, rushing through the work, or forgets to turn it in, their grades will be affected. If they put in their best work, take their time, and complete assignments in a timely manner their grades will probably see a boost. You can also give your kids extra responsibility by letting them choose when they will work on homework, how they will break up larger projects, and what organizational tools work best for them.

Homework can seem like a constant battle but setting good habits early on in the school year is usually the best way to manage school work. Parents should keep in touch with teachers and their child to make sure all three parties are a team and are working towards helping your child succeed. Y

Sarah Lyons is a mother of six children, including seven year old triplets.

School Admission Events

More Events Online at www.BostonParentsPaper.com

ARLINGTON

Lesley Ellis School

All School Open House

November 5, 2023 @ 2:00 pm

34 Winter St

www.lesleyellis.org

BOSTON

British International School

Open House

October 18, 2023 @ 9:30 am

November 4, 2023 @ 10:00 am

Virtual Open House

December 6, 2023 @ 5:30 pm

416 Pond St

www.bisboston.org

The Learning Project

Open House

October 21, 2023 @ 9:00 am

October 22, 2023 @ 3:00 pm

107 Marlborough Street

www.learningproject.org

BRAINTREE

Thayer Academy

Upper School Open House

October 21, 2023 @ 9:00 am

Middle School Open House

October 28, 2023 @ 9:00 am

745 Washington St

www.thayer.org

CHESTNUT HILL

Brimmer and May School

October 22, 2023

Lower School Open House 10:00 am

Middle School Open House 1:00 pm

Upper School Open House 2:00 pm

November 8, 2023 @ 1:00 pm

School Day Admissions Open House

69 Middlesex Rd

www.brimmer.org

The Chestnut Hill School

Open House

October 29, 2023 @ 10:00 am

428 Hammond Street

www.tchs.org

DEDHAM

Dedham Country Day School

Open House Classroom Observation

October 13, 2023 @ 8:30 am

Open House Classroom Observation

October 27, 2023 @ 8:30 am

90 Sandy Valley Rd

www.dedhamcountryday.org

Ursuline Academy

Open House

November 5, 2023 @ 11:00 am

85 Lowder Street

www.ursulineacademy.net

LEXINGTON

Lexington Christian Academy

Saturday Open House

October 28, 2023 @ 10:00 am

Evening Open House

November 17, 2023 @ 5:00 pm

Open House

December 14, 2023 @ 8:00 pm

48 Bartlett Ave

www.lexingtonchristian.org

READING

Austin Preparatory School

Open House

October 22, 2023 @ 10:00 am 101 Willow Street www.austinprep.org

SOUTHBOROUGH

Fay School

Open House

November 5, 2023 @ 1:00 pm 23 Middle Rd www.fayschool.org

READING

Austin Preparatory School Middle & Upper School Fall Open House

October 23, 2023 @ 11:00 am 101 Willow Street www.austinprep.org

WINCHESTER

Acera School

Information Session

October 10, 2023 @ 7:00 pm

November 9, 2023 @ 9:30 am

December 5, 2023 @ 7:00 pm 5 Lowell Ave www.aceraschool.org

WEST ROXBURY

Roxbury Latin Open House

September 30, 2023 @ 10:00 am

Information Sessions

October 17, 2023 @ 6:45 pm

October 26, 2023 @ 6:45 pm

Open House

November 12, 2023 @ 12:30 pm 101 Saint Theresa Avenue www.roxburylatin.org

For more events, check out https://bostonparentspaper. com/school-open-housecalendar/

Looking to add your school? Do so now at: bostonparentspaper.com/openhouse-submission

Are You Overparenting ?

By Sarah Lyons

While this tendency comes with positive intentions, it can occasionally backfire and leave kids unprepared for the natural consequences and realities that come with everyday life as an adult. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, overparenting is defined as “too much involvement by parents in the lives of their children, so that they try to help with or control everything that happens to the child.” Kids who are raised in this environment struggle in college and beyond with basic tasks, common disappointments, and self-sufficiency. How do you know if you are overparenting? Here are some common pitfalls parents can easily find themselves falling into and some tips to turn these tendencies around.

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Parents want the best for their kids and have a strong desire for them to be successful in every endeavor.

COMMON PITFALL: POWER STRUGGLES

Do you often find yourself having a heated debate with your child about something that isn’t important in the grand scheme of things? For example, you may be tempted to argue about your child’s clothing choices, if their room isn’t clean enough, if they are not playing with toys the “right way”, or if they are simply approaching a task differently than you would tackle it yourself. This is a sign you may be overparenting.

TURN IT AROUND: When you find yourself in the middle of another power struggle, pause and reflect if it is worth debating. Your child will learn problem solving skills and gain independence from doing things their own way. If it doesn’t work as smoothly as the way you would have done it, that’s to be expected. They will learn the lesson and adjust naturally on their own. The best part will be less arguing and stress in the home.

COMMON PITFALL: LACK OF NATURAL CONSEQUENCES

One of the hardest things about parenting is watching your child fail. If they don’t make the team, get a bad grade, break a toy, or have a disagreement with a friend, parents are often tempted to step in and “fix” the situation so their child is not hurt or disappointed. While this seems like a good thing now, it can cause long lasting challenges for your child.

TURN IT AROUND: Let them try, make mistakes, and deal with the aftermath - positive or negative - that comes from their actions. Facing natural consequences is hard but kids who do so are better prepared for making decisions as an adult, when the stakes are much higher and the choices can be life altering.

Are You Overparenting Quiz

□ I often argue with my child about small things.

□ I struggle to say “no” to my child.

□ I struggle with allowing my child to make their own choices.

□ I often rescue my child if I think they might fail.

□ I hide or “fix” disappointments or consequences so my child doesn’t have to face them.

□ I tend to worry about things other parents don’t.

□ I compare my child to other children.

□ I sometimes argue with other adults about how they treat my child.

□ I don’t expect my kids to pitch in around the house.

(Check all that apply)

□ Our life is so full of activities we don’t have any down time.

□ I often find myself picking up after my child.

□ I tend to get overly involved in my child’s relationships.

□ I struggle to find interests and hobbies outside of my kids.

□ If things get hard, I allow my kids to give up.

□ I notice my child is unable to do things their peers can do themselves (dress themselves, cook a meal, keep track of assignments, etc).

□ If something scares me, I don’t allow my child to try it.

□ I often give in to my child’s requests if they pester me long enough.

If you checked any of the boxes above it may be worth loosening the reins a bit to make sure you aren’t falling into the habit of overparenting.

The hard work will be worth it when your child develops into a healthy, selfsufficient adult that is ready to face the challenges and successes that life brings.

COMMON PITFALL: LACK OF RESPONSIBILITIES

A common sign of overparenting is a lack of age-appropriate expectations and responsibilities. It is tempting to do all of the chores around the house, help your child with homework assignments, allow them to give up when things get tough, clean up for them, and assist them with daily tasks they can do on their own. Kids often surprise us with how much they can do by themselves when given the chance to try.

TURN IT AROUND: Start by choosing one task and let your child know they will be responsible for it from now on. Teach them how to do it, let them know you are there to answer questions and help but they will need to do the task on their own. It will most likely be a struggle at first, but over time they will be able to do it independently and will gain a sense of pride. Soon they will be ready to take on more responsibilities and harder tasks.

COMMON PITFALL: NO TIME FOR TRADITIONAL PLAY

Traditional play and down time are important for kids’ development because it promotes creativity and allows your child to rest from the structure and pressures that school and extracurricular activities bring. If your child has so many scheduled activities that they have very little free time, it may be due to overparenting. It’s best to find a good balance of your time that promotes both traditional play and activities such as sports or artistic interests equally.

TURN IT AROUND: Ask your child what they are truly interested in and reduce the rest of the activities to allow more free time. Keep in mind this may or may not be the activity they

excel at. Allowing your child to choose what activities outside the home is important as they gain independence and allows time for them to develop their interests rather than spreading them too thin.

Parenting is challenging and changing behavior is even more so. Give yourself grace and make small changes at a time. Talk to your partner or a friend and ask for support and a fresh perspective on the situation. Try to be receptive to their suggestions rather than defending your actions. Talk openly with your child about some changes you would like to make and why. The hard work will be worth it when your child develops into a healthy, self-sufficient adult that is ready to face the challenges and successes that life brings. Y

Sarah Lyons is a mother of six children, including seven year old triplets.

5 Expert Tips to Help Teens with ADHD

By Cheryl Maguire

Igot detention for forgetting my book three times in a row,” read Michael’s text. His mother wasn’t surprised. Michael was diagnosed with ADHD when he was eight years old, and she’s received other messages saying he misplaced or even forgotten to do his homework. His mother hoped that he’d be more organized by 13, and she wonders if this is typical teenage behavior or if it’s due to his ADHD.

“Everyone has ADHD behavior at times,” says Dr. Sarah Cheyette, a pediatric neurologist and author of the book, ADHD & The Focused Mind. Cheyette says the difference between a person with ADHD and other people is that the person with ADHD is unfocused too much of the time.

“There are differences between a child and a teen with ADHD,” Cheyette says. When a younger child has ADHD, parents tend to be more forgiving and helpful with their unfocused behaviors. A teen with ADHD may want their independence but lack the skills to focus and control their impulses. This can lead to more severe consequences than when they were younger. But parents can help their teens with ADHD improve their focus.

5 Ways to Improve Focus for Kids with ADHD:

1. Positive thinking

When a teen is interested in doing a particular task, it will be easier to accomplish. “Most people become more focused when they decide they want to do something,” says Cheyette. “If you say to yourself, I don’t feel like doing this, then you probably won’t.” For example, if your teen doesn’t like doing homework, encouraging them to change their mindset can help improve their focus. Reframing the negative thought (“I don’t want to do my homework”) in a more positive light (“Finishing my homework will make me feel good about this class”) can help a teen become more focused and complete the task.

There are differences between a child and a teen with ADHD. When a younger child has ADHD, parents tend to be more forgiving and helpful with their unfocused behaviors. A teen with ADHD may want their independence but lack the skills to focus and control their impulses.

2. The right surroundings

Emily, a parent of a 14-year-old son diagnosed with ADHD, has found that choosing the right environment helps her son’s mindset. “I encourage him to stay after school to do his homework,” she says. “This way he doesn’t become distracted by things at home, like his phone, and he can receive help from his teachers.”

3. Healthy lifestyle choices

Cheyette also stresses the importance of a healthy lifestyle for improving and maintaining focus. Eating healthy, getting enough sleep and making time to exercise can all contribute to improved focus for teens with ADHD. Sleep problems can lead to issues with memory and impulse control for any child, but especially kids with ADHD.

Jen, a parent to a 12-year-old daughter diagnosed with ADHD, agrees with Cheyette about the importance of eating healthy and getting enough sleep. Her daughter experiences intense mood swings and an inability to deal with stress when she doesn’t eat or sleep well.

4. Setting goals

Cheyette says that setting goals can help teens with ADHD improve their focus and achieving their goals will help them feel successful. As a parent, you may be tempted to provide directions or nag your child to make sure they are working towards their goals, but it’s important for teens to actively set and own their goals. But you can still help them. “Make observations and ask questions,” Cheyette recommends. “If you notice your son’s backpack is a mess, instead of saying, ‘You need to organize your backpack,’ try saying, ‘It must be difficult to find your homework when your backpack looks like this’ or ‘How are you able to find your homework?’”

Once you’ve framed the problem, she says, “Ask questions such as, ‘How can you help yourself?’ or ‘How can you act differently next time?’ to allow your child to think about and own their behaviors.

5. Medication

Like younger kids, teens can benefit from medication. Amy, a parent of a 15-year-old son diagnosed with ADHD, bought her son a trampoline to use after school to help him release his energy. And the exercise was helpful. But she saw the most improvement when her son began taking medication. “Once he was medicated, he could use self-regulating strategies,” she says. “Before that, he wasn’t able to learn these strategies since he couldn’t pay attention.”

Cheyette wants to remind parents that you are your child’s best advocate and the parents interviewed here agree. “The best advice I can give other parents is to tell them that there may be really bad times, but your child needs to know that you are in their court,” Jen says. “When your child feels like a failure or has no friends, or school is horrible, they need to be able to come home to you and release their frustrations and emotions.” Y

*names have been changed for privacy

Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, Parents Magazine, AARP, Healthline, Grown and Flown, Your Teen Magazine, and many other publications. She is a professional member of ASJA. You can find her at Twitter @CherylMaguire05

—Dr. Sarah Cheyette

When a teen is interested in doing a particular task, it will be easier to accomplish. Most people become more focused when they decide they want to do something.

Are Video Games HEALTHY?

By Cheryl Maguire

My son is not an anomaly. According to the Pew Research Center, 72% of teens—and 84% of teen boys—play video games.

There is a lot of conflicting information about video game use, so it can be hard for parents to know what to allow. It’s screen time, of course, but video gaming is often also a social activity played together with friends either in the same room or online. And if it’s a popular pastime among a teen’s peer group, some parents may be inclined to let them play for an unlimited amount of time with their friends.

Playing video games can have positive benefits, says Dr. Larry D. Rosen, a professor at California State University and author of The Distracted Mind. Gaming “can offer some skill-building, including reaction time, executive functioning, and strategic thinking,” says Rosen. He cautions, though, that “playing video games can be very addictive and create problematic thinking, including desensitization to violence.”

VIDEO GAME OBSESSION?

Rosen recommends that video game play should be limited, since research shows physiological arousal increases when playing—and kids need breaks from that. He suggests limiting gaming for teens to 60-90 minutes at a time, even if parents decide to allow more total time daily.

Maria Sanders, a licensed social worker and certified parent coach, also recommends creating clear boundaries with your teen regarding when and how long they are allowed to play. She says an example of boundaries might be letting teens choose to play an hour of video games either before or after completing homework.

She encourages parents to learn more about their teen’s interest in video games. Sit down and play the games with them. “The child will see that you have an interest in what they are doing,” she says, “and you will learn about why they are so attracted to the game.”

ENCOURAGING OTHER ACTIVITIES

Teens should live “balanced lives and not live solely in the video game,” says Sanders. But if your teen doesn’t express interest in anything else, it may be difficult to figure out which activity or sport to encourage. Sanders suggests asking your teen about the type of video games they like to play. Then you might be able to figure out an activity that uses similar skills or gameplay. An avid Fortnite player, for example, might enjoy a laser tag league.

Parents should avoid simply announcing which activities their teen must do. Rosen stresses the importance of including the child in the decision-making process. With your child’s input, create a list of the types of activities they could do at home during unstructured times or when they feel bored. Similarly, involving your child in discussions about organized extracurriculars will prevent them from feeling forced into participating in certain activities.

STAY POSITIVE ABOUT VIDEO GAMES

Often parents make comments like “video games are a waste of time” or “video games are unhealthy” in an effort to decrease video game use. Rosen says this almost always backfires. Instead, parents could reward the child for responsible behavior. For example, when a child demonstrates that they can stop playing on their own without parent badgering, parents might loosen strict time limits on screen time.

Instead of making negative statements about video games, Sanders says, “The best thing a parent can do is guide their

child down a path of self-reflection. Asking questions like, I notice you seem pretty tired after playing video games. How are you feeling? will help your child figure out their own beliefs about video game use.”

Parent negativity can make a teen feel as if they are being judged and misunderstood. Focus on their strengths while playing a video game—perhaps, for instance, their ability to help a friend get to another level. A parent should notice that ability and point out how it might connect to real-life situations. Next step: Parents can help them get out there and do just that.

TOO MANY VIDEO GAMES: WHEN TO WORRY

Video game addiction is not yet a disorder recognized by the American Psychiatric Association. The World Health Organization, however, recently recognized the existence of “gaming disorder” for the first time. Excessive video game play and other types of addictions do show similar patterns, says Rosen.

SOME SIGNS PARENTS SHOULD LOOK FOR ARE:

• Isolating behavior or ignoring family and friends

• Sneaking video game play at night or at friends’ houses

• Changes in eating or sleeping patterns

• A decline in academic performance or not doing homework

• A need to continue playing video games beyond a time limit

• An interest only in playing video games, at the expense of other activities

• Always thinking about video games

If you are concerned about your teen, you can contact a mental health professional to discuss counseling options. Y

Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and is the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in The New York Times, National Geographic, Parents Magazine, AARP, Healthline, Your Teen Magazine, and many other publications.

A Letter to My Teenager’s Car

By Katy M. Clark

Dear Car,

Let me be the first to say, “Welcome to the family!” We are very pleased that you have joined us. You are very much loved and wanted and we looked long and hard for you.

You were the right combination of price (cheap), condition (as good as possible) and safety (not exactly Fort Knox on wheels, but we tried).

Car, I hope you have thick skin, I mean, paint. That’s because you will hear some adults whispering about how they never had a car when they were young and how you are an extravagant purchase. You might hear some people pass judgment on our family because you are in our lives now. Don’t listen to them. They don’t know how much you are needed. Nor do they know just how old and tired you are or how many miles you have seen.

You know, I am old and tired, too. I’ve also seen a lot of miles. However, I think we both still have a lot of life left in us!

Car, I’m reaching out to you because you have a very important role in our family.

You see, you will transport my teen driver in the coming years. I hope that you will function as promised, and when you can’t, that you’ll let me know promptly. In return, I promise I’ll fix you to the best of my ability and my wallet’s ability.

Car, there will be times my teenager will be less than careful with you. I apologize in advance. His father and I have told him over and over and over again how he is supposed to drive. He has passed two segments of driver’s education demonstrating how he is supposed to drive. He has logged 50 hours of supervised time behind the wheel driving how he is supposed to drive.

But, I know how I am supposed to eat and that doesn’t stop me from indulging every now and then (curse you, Olive Garden breadsticks!). So when my teenager indulges in a stop too suddenly or he turns you too sharply, even though he knows he shouldn’t, please take care of him.

Car, not only do you have the responsibility of keeping my teen safe and getting him to and fro, but you will also provide much needed transportation for my younger child.

That’s right, you will carry two of my babies as they go to school or practice.

I beg of you, keep my babies safe.

You will also meet some of my teen’s friends and I hope that you get them safely where they need to go. And yes, there may be some things spilled, said, or done by my teenager and his friends that both of us don’t want spilled, said or done.

Hang in there. I’m saying that for me as much as for you.

I also want to apologize for the stinky sports equipment that is about to make its second home in your trunk. I know it doesn’t smell pretty. If it’s any consolation, I’ve been toting it in my trunk to various practices and games for a long time. You’ll be okay. Stinky, but okay.

I’ll look out for you, Car. I’ll watch for scrapes and dents if my teen or the school parking lot treats you too rough. I’ll make sure he washes you and gets your oil changed. I know you’ll need new tires sooner rather than later (can we try for later?). Rest assured that I know how important your job is in the family and he and I will do our share to help you carry it out.

Thank you for waiting for our family. It seemed like we would never find you, but then we did. I’m hoping this is the start of a long and beautiful relationship.

Love, Mom

Katy M. Clark is a writer and mom of two who embraces her imperfections on her blog Experienced Bad Mom.

10th annual

40,000 FREE BOOKS AND ACTIVITIES FOR BOSTON PUBLIC SCHOOL FAMILIES!

Stop by between 1:00 and 4:00 PM on Saturday, September 23rd, 2023

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WE NEED VOLUNTEERS TO HELP US SORT BOOKS ON MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 18 FROM 3-7 PM, TUESDAY and WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 19 & 20, 9 AM-7 PM. CANYOU HELP OUT?

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