Right? Wrong

How to Throw an Awesome Birthday Party for Your Introverted Kid

By Tiffany Doerr Guerzon

Every kid loves a birthday party, right?

Wrong! For a shy or introverted child, big, noisy parties are often occasions to be dreaded instead of celebrated. So, how can parents mark these important milestones in a way that makes everyone happy?

First of all, you know your child best. Careful listening and discussion will reveal what your birthday boy or girl needs and wants for their celebration.

The home-field advantage Some kids will feel most comfortable in their own home, celebrating with a few relatives and friends. Hold a small dinner party with the birthday child’s favorite meal as the main dish. You can still make an intimate gathering special with decorations, a fun game or two, plus a birthday cake.

Keep it small Introverted kids often would prefer to have one or two close friends instead of a gaggle of playmates. A simple after-school playdate with a couple of friends at home could be the perfect birthday celebration.

‘Don’t look at me!’ Opening presents and listening to the “Happy Birthday” song can be excruciating experiences for kids who hate having all eyes on them. An easy solution is simply to have the child open the gifts later, after the guests have gone home.

Presenting the cake, singing and blowing out the candles pose a more difficult problem, because this practice is so expected. One way to deflect unwanted attention is to make a dramatic entrance carrying the cake into the room as the guests sing, so that all eyes are on the cake instead of on the birthday girl or boy. Or dispense with the ceremonial singing altogether and just hand out precut slices of cake or cupcakes.

Games or no games? Planning with your child is crucial to a happy birthday. Let them choose what activities they would like. Sometimes just free play in the backyard is plenty, and it won’t put anyone in the spotlight. On the other hand, a busy schedule of games and activities can be helpful to a kid who would prefer less pressure to interact with his or her peers.

Get out of the house An introverted kid may prefer not to have a lot of people invade their home turf. Sometimes, it’s easier when all of the partygoers are engaged in an organized activity outside of the home. Try an art-making party at a ceramics or painting studio. Bowling, bounce houses, a science museum or a laser-tag space are other options for those kids who don’t mind a noisy atmosphere. An outing to the movies is always a fun birthday treat.

Manage your own expectations Lastly, remember whom the party is for. It can be hard for an extroverted parent who is looking forward to throwing a birthday blowout to scale down their expectations. Through your careful listening and planning, your shy child can still have a celebration to remember that makes everyone happy. ■ Tiffany Doerr Guerzon is a freelance writer and mother of three.

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