ParentMap Magazine May 2020 by ParentMap

Engaging eco-learning activities

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Mother’s Day Her Way Brunchy bites and darling DIY gift ideas to celebrate mom

Expert guidance for riding the waves of worry and stress 14

THE PLAY LIST: 15 WAYS TO BE MERRY IN MAY

Crafts, backyard adventures and virtual fun for the fam 19

GREEN BITES: 3 STEPS TO MORE SUSTAINABLE MEALS Climate-friendly ways to cut carbon from your family’s diet 24

MAY 2020

FEAR FACTOR: HOW TO MANAGE COVID-19 ANXIETY

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We Deliver At ParentMap, family is our business, and we’ve made a name for ourselves by helping you get out and about with your kids. Now, we’re doing everything we can to help you stay safe — but also entertained — at home. Our monthly magazine features trusted content to engage families in learning and fun during this uncertain time. For a limited time, you can subscribe to an entire year of ParentMap magazine for just $12. We’ll deliver each issue right to your home!

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FLOUR ON MY FACE

inside MAY 2020

,cause parenting is a trip!

22 Parenting

6 DEAR READER

Wishing all moms the ultimate Mother’s Day gift: good health

8 IT STARTS WITH YOU(TH)

Meet a local youth who is working to improve health in our schools

10 WELLNESS

Why being at home doesn’t relieve stress — and how to create calm in the chaos

12 CRIB NOTES

Reading rituals: Sleep-inducing books to add to your child’s bedtime routine

24 CLIMATE

Green bites: How to cut carbon from your family’s diet

Feature 14 FEAR FACTOR: HOW TO

MANAGE COVID-19 ANXIETY Expert guidance for riding the waves of worry and stress

Family Fun 19 15 WAYS TO PLAY IN MAY

Cool crafts, backyard adventures and virtual fun for the fam

22 MIX AND MATCH

MOTHER’S DAY

Brunchy bites and darling DIY gift ideas to celebrate mom

Advertising Sections

17–21 Schools + Preschools 26–30 Camps + Activities

27 AGES + STAGES

Dozens of engaging eco-learning activities the kids can do at home

31 PARENT DAY JOBS

This author and CEO proffers a primer on citizenship in uncertain times

12 parentmap.com • May 2020 • 5

note

You’ve got mail We’ve all got a story to tell about COVID-19. I pray yours is not one of illness or loss; there are sadly so many. My story centers around one of my many bad habits: I don’t open mail. Sure, a gorgeous wedding invitation makes the cut. Bills don’t. Years ago, when our utilities were turned off (again!), my mostly mild-tempered husband Bobby became fed up with my inability to prioritize bill paying, which was, after all, my assigned household task. Between my low prio-tude and his bill-paying-induced back spasms, we resolved that hiring someone — Queen T — for the job was the magical answer. Mind you, our now harmonious-as-hell marriage is based on a mutual respect for chaos. From day number one of our 38-year union, no one ever recorded a check (when we were bouncing many) or balanced a checkbook (remember when that was a thing?). My husband, now 64, showed fast and serious signs of COVID-19 infection in early March. We immediately quarantined him upstairs. Because of our family’s kissin’ and huggin’ habits, we assumed we were all likely positive and did our best to behave accordingly. I quickly mastered the food drop, complete with a door-kick notification and a hightail outta there. On Bobby’s worst day and night, when I had read too many horror stories, I slept next to our bedroom door, fearing that I wouldn’t hear him call for me. Bobby thankfully never required hospitalization, though I did come pretty close to injuring him myself for his repeated breezy — “just light symptoms” — reports to friends, while I was in an out-of-character state of constant panic. A couple of days later, I took my brother, who has multiple sclerosis, to be tested. Once I reported my husband’s condition and the fact that we have a daughter who is pregnant and some kids with immunodeficiency issues, I was tested as well. After submitting to a most unpleasant swab (truly underreported, how unpleasant that experience is), we were told we’d hear back if we tested positive. Days went by as I worked harder than ever, navigating how to keep our extraordinary ParentMap team working, nursing my patient, and, like so many moms (yay, MOMS!), cooking way more than ever, doing laundry, and deep-cleaning constantly, all while frantically worrying about my family’s health. Through it all, I never showed a single symptom. Back to my bill-paying Queen T! She texted me repeatedly for weeks that I needed to sift through the stacks of mail for bills. By 2:30 a.m. on the scheduled pickup day, I came to the final few pieces of correspondence. Among them, not one, but two letters from the CDC. I assumed the CDC mistakenly sent two letters to Bobby until I opened one that read, “Alayne Sulkin, as you recover, we ask you to consider donating your plasma …” This year on Mother’s Day, I will reflect with deep gratitude that I have every possible gift I will ever want — though my family was touched by this pandemic, everyone is healthy. And we will donate plasma, in hopes that doing so will restore others to wellness. The ParentMap team wishes all dear mothers a happy and healthy Mother’s Day!

6 • May 2020 • parentmap.com

ParentMap

May 2020, Vol. 18, No. 5

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it starts with you(th)

Meet Angelina Riley This local youth is working to improve student health in our schools By Patty Lindley

money the state gives him

ngelina Riley got a great piece of advice from her mother, one that she lives by: It’s okay to be mad at the world, but you’d better be effective about it. The 17-year-old Rainier Beach High School junior is active in student government and the Black Student Union. She is also a campaign leader with the Food Empowerment Education and Sustainability Team — better known as FEEST (feestseattle.org) — an organization, led by youths of color, that works to transform the health inequities impacting South Seattle and South King County schools. At the foundation of FEEST’s work are youth-led dinners where students convene to share food, celebrate culture and build community with their peers. Also central to the FEEST mission is supporting its youth fellows to work for the policy changes that will lead to improved and equitable access to healthy, fresh food at school. I had the opportunity to catch up with Riley to learn more about her work with FEEST and her plans for the future.

for lunches and things like that. It’s been a journey, but it’s been nice working with him because he is really invested as well. Almost 90 percent of our population of students at Rainier Beach requires free and reducedprice lunch, so he’s been trying to make sure that all students get lunch for free. He’s been trying to bring in fresh fruits and vegetables. He recently has

How are you and your family managing during this quarantine?

been working with different

At first it was kind of difficult, because I’m just so used to never really being in the

community leaders to make

house and always going to meetings somewhere. Or if I’m not at a meeting, I’m at

sure that the farms that are

school. When the quarantine first started, I realized I haven’t been in this house

around our neighborhoods

and just hung out here for so long. It’s been pretty fun. We’ve spent a lot of this

provide some fresh produce

time bonding.

to the schools and make it accessible to people living in

How did you become involved with FEEST and what is your role in the

the neighborhood.

organization?

I’m a campaign leader.

I started with FEEST in December of 2018, I think. I had a friend who was in it, and

Basically, I have meetings with people like Aaron Smith. We host events at school

she invited me to one of their meetings. I love to eat, so I assumed it was going

and around our community talking about the importance of eating healthy and

to be one of the meetings that the dinner team does. There are two different

why it’s important for youth to understand food apartheid and how it affects

teams: There’s a campaign team and there’s a dinner team. Both teams operate

them. So that’s the work I do with FEEST.

around the whole idea of food justice and social justice, and how communities, particularly low-income communities and communities of color, are affected by

How is the organization mobilizing to support people in the community right

systems in place that aren’t providing them with the right food. You see food

now, in light of the COVID-19 pandemic?

apartheid happening as you go south of downtown Seattle. You see more fast

A few weeks ago, we started a food drive. We have a link on the FEEST Instagram

food restaurants.

account [@FEESTseattle], and if you sign up, someone will get groceries for you. It

I started FEEST not really knowing what I was getting myself into, but I

was an idea that FEEST fellows had — our group is all about food safety and food

remember coming to that first meeting, and our program director introduced

security, and so we wanted to make sure that that’s accessible. Apart from FEEST,

me to all of this systematic oppression that goes on. I kind of knew things before,

I’ve also been working with my school to make sure we have our site ready for

but when she really dove deep in and explained to me how these things were

distributing food to families that need it. We’re also distributing other supplies,

affecting neighborhoods [like mine], I started realizing how people really don’t eat

like pencils and clothing, and other things like that. That’s what we’ve been

school lunch, and how a lot of times on campus we see students who are hungry,

focused on.

and we see students who are tired in classes because they don’t feel like they can function, and they don’t like the school lunch. The school lunch that’s being

Do you have any words of wisdom for young people who are trying to figure out

provided usually isn’t as healthy as they say it is.

how to get involved in issues that matter to them?

We started having meetings with the district’s director of nutrition services

The whole activism journey first starts with educating yourself. The fact that you

at the time. His name is Aaron Smith. He had just gotten into the role, and he

see that there are issues is already a big step. Because so many youths are on

was trying to change the district menu. We were learning from him all about

social media, start there. Use it for good. That’s how I originally found my voice.

the barriers that he was facing regarding federal laws and regarding how much

And from there, take that action into the streets.

8 • May 2020 • parentmap.com

DISCOVERY CENTER @HOME How would you advise a parent to support their child in taking action? I think something that my mom is really, really great at is, when I first started getting into these clubs and things, she got involved as well. She came to one of my first big events with FEEST, and she was there, she was supportive. She donated. She always sits down and listens to me rant about the system and all these injustices; she listens and then she asks, “What are you going to do about it? I know this stuff. Tell the world.” So, just always be there to listen to your child. I think another thing that my mom has been really great at is giving me access to resources, and also just calming me down. Sometimes I get really mad at the world and she’ll say, “Okay, you’re mad at the world, but just be effective about it, and just know that change is slow sometimes, and that’s okay.” What’s your plan for when you’re done with high school? I’ve always valued education and getting a higher education, because my biological family wasn’t able to do that. I think just breaking generational curses is a big part of my plan in life, and so I’m going to apply to Howard University and to Spelman College. I’m not really sure what to major in yet, but I’m leaning towards international relations and international affairs, because I do want to someday build schools in my home country and my mom’s home country. My home country is Benin — I’m adopted — and my mom’s is Chad. What do you hope will be a positive outcome of this pandemic? I think the silver lining of this pandemic is just having everyone recognize how messed up our policies are and how reactionary the work is. We could have had a health-care system in place before we started worrying about where all these people were going to go. We have thousands of people sick, and some people just can’t get tested or don’t have any means to get tests. It should never take a disaster for us to realize that there are problems, and we should work to solve those problems in our system. I’m really hoping that energy continues after this is over, and people decide to work harder at making sure things are accessible, resources are spread equitably and so on and so forth. What’s the first thing you’re going to do when this crazy time of house arrest is over? When we get out of quarantine, the first thing I’m going to do is to head straight to the mall. I’m going to my favorite restaurant, and I am going to eat sushi. I’m so tired of eating at home every day! n

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parentmap.com • May 2020 • 9

wellness

Feeling Stir-Crazy?

Why being at home doesn’t relieve stress — and how to create calm in the chaos By Malia Jacobson

ith the coronavirus prompting closures of many businesses, more employees are working remotely from home. But don’t expect working in your pajamas to calm your nerves. In fact, you may be more stressed than before. Per research from Pennsylvania State University, most adults find home more stressful that work. Researchers from the Penn State School of Labor and Employment Relations measured levels of the stress hormone cortisol in men and women on the job and while at home. They found that cortisol was higher at home and lower at work. The effect was seen in both men and women, and in those with and without children.

especially important right now when we all need to be our healthiest selves.” Often, when someone comes in with a recurring health problem, whether it’s chronic sinus infections or a yearly case of strep, the problem is linked to high levels of stress, says Sternoff. “When the person can reduce their stress, the issue stops reoccurring.”

Why are we more stressed at home? This finding lines up with other research showing that work outside the home is good for our physical and mental health. Compared to the chaotic, constant demands of home life, working outside the home can actually be a serene experience, says nurse practitioner Rachel Sternoff, DNP, ARNP, of Overlake Medical Center in Bellevue. At work, you’re pursuing goals, making plans, following routines and receiving regular feedback. And there’s the important fact that you’re also receiving compensation. At home, you receive less feedback or positive reinforcement for work that sometimes feels thankless and endless — without a paycheck. Work outside the home also includes opportunities for interactions with other adults as well as precious moments of alone time — things that quickly evaporate at home. Workday lunches, coffee breaks, midday walks, shared commutes and meetings allow us to see familiar faces and stay connected to the world.

How stress impacts your health Sternoff brings up stress with all her patients at Overlake Medical Center, whether they work at home or not. “Stress is a big enough issue that I talk about it with every single patient who comes in for a physical. It’s woven into everything we talk about around preventative health.” Some stress can be a good thing, notes Sternoff. “Stress can help us be productive and give us the drive to get things done.” But high levels of stress keep the body stuck in “fight or flight” mode, she says. Under stress, the body releases epinephrine, also called adrenaline, which increases glucose in the blood. If you’re really in a “fight or flight” situation, the extra glucose would provide a burst of much-needed energy. Under normal conditions, though, the extra glucose isn’t needed. Over time, elevated blood glucose can lead to type 2 diabetes. Stress can also lead to elevated blood pressure, heartburn, digestive problems, tension headaches, sleep problems, irritability, infertility and difficulty losing weight, says Sternoff. “Stress also makes us more susceptible to illness, which is 10 • May 2020 • parentmap.com

Since many of us are stuck at home these days, how can we keep stress in check? Stick to a daily schedule. The body craves routine, and too much change translates into stress. Sticking to a consistent routine will bring a sense of calm and order to your home life — or work-at-home life. If possible, try to maintain consistent times for sleep, work, exercise and family time. Take a lunch break. Research shows that employees who take regular breaks are happier and more productive. Home-based workers can follow suit by stepping away from their screens at regular intervals and especially while eating lunch.

Wear earplugs. Whether you barely notice the background din or cringe at every squeal and slammed door, background noise still stresses your system. Studies show that low-level background noise is linked to chronic stress, sleep disturbances and increased blood pressure. If you can’t find a quiet workspace at home, consider donning earplugs if it’s possible (and safe) to do so. Move regularly. Aim for 30 minutes of activity per day to keep stress at bay, says Sternoff. Jog around the block with the kids, walk to the grocery store or work in the yard. Eat at consistent times. Regular, consistent mealtimes keep the body’s circadian rhythms on track. At home, the fridge is always calling, making it easy to graze throughout the day and into the night. That can stress the digestive system and make it more difficult to sleep, which ramps up anxiety and irritability. Connect with colleagues, friends and family. In the workplace, regular interactions with work buddies and friendly colleagues provide a buffer against stress. Remote workers may need to work a bit harder to create opportunities for social engagement. Set up regular check-ins with friends and colleagues via Zoom or FaceTime to feel connected while you’re at home. Reach out for help. When stress starts to feel overwhelming, checking in with a primary care provider is a good first step. “Remember that your health-care providers are still here for you,” says Sternoff. “We’re still available and can set up a video chat or telephone visit to talk through concerns about stress.” ■ Malia Jacobson is a health and family journalist. Sponsored by:

Overlake Medical Center and Clinics are committed to offering the highest quality, compassionate medical care for you and your family. Learn more about your health-care options at overlakehospital.org.

SAYAHHH Excellence is all around you.

parentmap.com • May 2020 • 11

all about baby Find Your Village Being a new parent can be really isolating, but baby, we’ve got your back. ALLI ARNOLD

Notes

parentmap.com/enews

From Recent Research to Gaga Gear

Reading Rituals Best books to add to your child’s bedtime routine By Malia Jacobson

f you have a sleep-resistant child or two, you’ve likely read lots of sleep books. While you’re studying up on sleep, maybe it’s time for your little night owl to hit the books, too. Why not use a nightly bedtime story to help build and reinforce healthy sleep habits, overcome common sleep saboteurs and boost parent-child bonding? Whether you add these titles to your child’s bookshelf or wrap them up for a parent-tobe, you’ll be giving the gift of blissful rest. ‘One Minute Till Bedtime: 60-Second Poems to Send You Off to Sleep’ By Kenn Nesbitt (editor), Christoph Niemann (illustrator) Sleep-supporting bedtime stories don’t have to be lengthy. “One Minute Till Bedtime,” a collection of poems edited by former children’s poet laureate Kenn Nesbitt, offers bite-size bedtime reading that helps send children to sleep while building an enduring love of poetry. Parents and children will love the illustrations by New York Times illustrator and award-winning artist Christoph Niemann. ‘Good Night Yoga: A Pose-by-Pose Bedtime Story’ By Mariam Gates (author), Sarah Jane Hinder (illustrator) Yoga is proven to quiet the mind, calm the body and promote sounder rest. For a sweet send-off to sleep, include these kid-friendly yoga poses in your family’s nighttime routine. You don’t need supreme flexibility or any special equipment to practice these simple yoga postures, from “sun breath” to “cloud gathering” to “ladybug and butterfly,” which will relax restless kids and help them wind down. ‘Sweet Dreams, Lima Beans (The Secret Life of Beans)’ By Laura E. Pasternak (author and illustrator) Originally created to help Pasternak’s own children cope with sleeping in two different

12 • May 2020 • parentmap.com

households, this sweet picture book soothes children separated from a loved one at bedtime. Whether children are missing a deployed parent or dealing with divorce, separation or some other loss, “Sweet Dreams, Lima Beans” helps reduce separation anxiety and makes little ones feel safe and loved at bedtime. ‘Mindful Moments at Bedtime’ By Paloma Rossa (author), Stephanie Fizer Colleman (illustrator) A simple mindfulness practice can help calm the anxiety that often accompanies bedtime for sleep-resistant children. This peaceful picture book walks parents and children through 12 mindful moments to share before bed, creating a loving, calming bedtime routine that promotes sounder sleep. ‘Sleep Time Is Awesome Time’ By Charles C. Martin (author and illustrator) Kids who struggle with sleep may develop negative thoughts and feelings about bedtime that can contribute to insomnia, bedtime resistance and nighttime awakenings. This book helps to interrupt that cycle by reframing negative sleep associations, reducing anxiety and building healthy habits to help children fall asleep peacefully. ‘Bear Can’t Sleep’ (The Bear Books) By Karma Wilson (author), Jane Chapman (illustrator) Winter is the perfect season for this tale of a bear who can’t hibernate. Will Bear learn to fall asleep with the assistance of his forest friends? This sweet board book can help reinforce the importance of rest and gets families ready for a cozy night’s sleep.

‘Sweet Dreams Moonbeams’ By Sara Conway (author), Kelly Breemer (illustrator) This lovely, whimsical story of a fox family and other forest creatures preparing for sleep makes an excellent baby shower gift. Stunning illustrations and a holographic-foil moon will hold little ones’ interest as they learn to associate bedtime with harmony, peace and love. ‘A Big Kid Bed Is Coming!’ By Liz Fletcher (author), Greg Bishop (illustrator) The big-kid-bed transition strikes fear into the hearts of parents everywhere. This picture book helps calm nerves (parents’ and kids’) and paves the way for a smooth switch by framing the transition as a fun, inspiring adventure for Louie the elephant. ‘Big Kid Bed’ (Leslie Patricelli board books) By Leslie Patricelli (author and illustrator) Parents and tots love the bright, playful images Leslie Patricelli creates as her lead baby character copes with familiar early-childhood milestones. In “Big Kid Bed,” Patricelli’s colorfully illustrated pages help toddlers

conquer this rite of passage — so parents can get a peaceful night’s rest, too. ‘Dr. Seuss’s Sleep Book’ By Dr. Seuss This Seuss classic sends kids to the Land of Nod with familiar rhymes on sleepy themes. Seuss’ playful approach helps banish bedtime battles by setting a relaxed, familiar tone for sleep. As a bonus, rhyming stories promote phonetic awareness and build your child’s budding language skills. ‘Devin & Evan Sleep From 8–7’ By Whitney Roban, Ph.D. If a full night of sleep sounds like an impossible dream, add this book to your child’s bedtime lineup. This story of twin brothers Devin and Evan teaches kids about how sleep helps them live their best life; it also addresses common childhood sleep problems, from trouble falling asleep at night to waking up before dawn. ■ Journalist Malia Jacobson is the author of “Ready, Set, Sleep: 50 Ways to Help Your Child Sleep, So You Can Sleep Too.”

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parentmap.com • May 2020 • 13

How to Manage COVID-19 Anxiety Expert guidance to ‘SPUR’ to action, ‘LURCH’ through adjustment and ‘COPE’ with the long haul By Laura Kastner, Ph.D.

nxiety is characterized by feelings of nervous tension, obsessive thoughts and physiological arousal, such as increased heart rate and blood pressure. As a temporary state for instigating a response to real danger — such as the threat posed by the COVID-19 pandemic — it can be adaptive. For the long haul, not so much. As Americans, we like to get over things. But that mindset or approach won’t be a good one for families in this case. Our ability to cope and prioritize our mental health will move us through stages of response and adjustment. Phase one I’ll call the “SPUR” phase: shock, protest, understand, respond. The bad news of COVID-19 shocked all of us. After a bit of protest about whether it would change our personal lives dramatically, we struggled with the idea of how wide-ranging the implications were. At some point, we understood this would be tragic for many and that we needed to take action for our families. As we began to accept

14 • May 2020 • parentmap.com

the reality in erratic waves of comprehension, we started to prepare a response. The trigger of the “fight or flight” circuit in the brain spurs us to action, so that we comply with public health directives to protect ourselves and others from virus infection. The extra energy supplied by this activated flood of adrenaline helps us figure out how to work from home, institute new policies for hygiene and homeschooling, and make plans for our family’s safety and security. Phase two is the “LURCH” phase: lockdown prep, urgency of social distancing, risk checks, hoarding. Here’s one family’s journey. First, the parents explain to their children that they can’t see their grandparents. They cancel their spring break vacation. They process the fact that the schools will close and they may have weeks (months?) of online learning and homeschooling ahead of them. Mom is needed at her job at a medical office; Dad boxes up his business desktop to

start working from home. They move through grief, loss and panic as they consider the implications of various levels of lockdown. The urgency of social distancing is the big rub. Mom thinks they should be able to socialize a bit with friends who are healthy. Dad has always had a more anxious temperament, and he is outraged that Mom isn’t following the social distancing recommendations to the letter. Conflict within families about policies and all the necessary changes and adaptations is inevitable. Then the risk checks begin. The parents check the web, poll their friends and gyrate with the conflicting news reports about how long the virus survives on dry surfaces. And what do they do with the “unknown unknowns”? What does it mean that kids can be asymptomatic carriers? Will Mom bring the virus home from the medical office? Should she refuse to go? If she coughs a little, should she self-quarantine from all contact with her family in another part of the house? Do Dad’s spring allergies count

as a respiratory risk? Next comes the irrational hoarding. They already have stocked up on necessary medications and two weeks of food. However, will buying more feel better? With all the panic they’ve absorbed from the news, the most action-oriented steps at this point are “control what you can control in concrete ways.” Shop! More toilet paper? That’s silly, they think, but “if everyone is doing it, we better get some while we can!” Families suffer a lot in the LURCH phase as they bounce between the confusing questions, decision-making and arrangements for “sheltering at home.” LURCH-ing causes emotional vertigo and insecurity. The human mind does not like uncertainty. The anxious mind loathes it. When stuck in the spin cycle of “what ifs,” the anxious mind attempts to nail down answers about risk. One hundred percent certainty is impossible, so at some point, we make best guesses. We weigh the pros and cons of various options with realistic appraisals of risk,

accept uncertainty and then make judgments that feel intuitively right for our families.

The human mind does not like uncertainty. The anxious mind loathes it. Phase three is the “COPE” phase: connection, organization, perspective, endurance. Phase three involves a commitment to mental health and well-being for the long haul. We can derive inspiration from the people who demonstrated resilience and tenacity during WWII, the civil rights movement or any other time in our history that tested the human spirit and our capacity to cope with adversity. Families that come out at the other

end of this crisis with their health and integrity intact won’t necessarily be the wealthiest, or the ones that bugged out to cabins, or those that managed to find N95 masks. The fortunate ones will have had the resourcefulness to connect with others, organize their lives, adopt a healthy perspective and endure a very stressful extended period of time requiring many sacrifices. Connection will involve all kinds of virtual communication. People have already shown ingenuity in initiating family Zoom gatherings, homeschooling with resources from the web, and finding remarkably creative outlets that allow them to maintain and even strengthen relationships. Virtual video connections with friends may include dance parties, dining clubs and yoga practice. And the workarounds for work meetings at home are tech miracles. Connection will enter a whole new level of challenge if kids (and adults!) can’t exercise, play and see friends outside. “Distancing together” inside or

parentmap.com • May 2020 • 15

How to Manage COVID-19 Anxiety continued from page 15 outside requires that we prioritize our relationships as well as our health. The stats on depression, despair and anxiety suggest that social isolation can be as dangerous for our health as sedentary lifestyles, junk food and smoking. Connection within the home needs to expand to old-school activities such as playing board games, reading together and enjoying music. We can make things — art projects, cooking from scratch, writing letters and making cards by hand. Bringing back creative traditions will be one of the upsides of this crisis. Another form of connection is how we care for others in need and perform random acts of kindness. Perhaps we will donate to organizations that help pay bills for those losing business and income during the pandemic. Others will tutor and teach online for those who have internet access. Innovation in ways to help others will evolve. When safety precautions are nailed down (e.g. antibody tests), healthy young people may be hired by job corps networks that haven’t been invented yet. The community needs help with child care, food deliveries and medical system maintenance. Can we have some of those trillions of dollars of government money for hiring young people, please? Teens are desperate for connection, and we need to help them be heroes in this crisis, not just inmates. Once some “herd immunity” is established, quarantine procedures will change, and families will need to figure out their responsible roles in assisting efforts for community repair. This is a character-defining moment in history that will shape us as individuals, community members, Americans and global citizens. Organization refers to how we maintain routines, structure our days, and create predictability and security for our children. People who maintain their circadian rhythms by getting up and sleeping at the same times every day will be at a mental and physical advantage. Sleeping and exercise are top priorities for bolstering immune system health. Routines are sacred. The sooner families implement routines for enduring this quarantine, the better. The brain becomes cued to what is

16 • May 2020 • parentmap.com

called “classical conditioning” or “automatic pilot,” in such a way that a schedule serves as an unconscious trigger for performing a certain habit. The bell rings, and we know it’s time for algebra, a workout or lunch! A schedule facilitates cooperation. Instead of fighting every day about when kids do homework and when they get to have screen time, the schedule determines when they will transition from one agenda to another, resulting in far less warfare. Call it boot camp or the beauty of ritual, but predictable structure can set us free from the anxiety about and resistance to “what’s next?” What is good for kids is good for parents. Self-management is a great concept, but this crisis has really scrambled our brains. Families will save

The stats on depression, despair and anxiety suggest that social isolation can be as dangerous for our health as sedentary lifestyles, junk food and smoking. themselves a mountain of toil and trouble if they embrace routines. Routines are great, and so is a break from them. Every now and then, be spontaneous! Rigidity can be as bad as chaotic permissiveness. They are the two poles of the flexibility continuum, with firm boundaries and thoughtful flexing in the middle. Why not declare a PJ day and have pancakes for dinner? Speaking of healthy routines, there are those to include: exercise, sleep, good nutrition, fulfilling responsibilities and connecting. And there are those habits to curb, the ones that are maladaptive, such as excessive alcohol consumption, indulging in social media that makes you feel bad and paying

constant attention to the news. Whatever we pay attention to develops stronger circuits in the brain. Worrying makes the anxiety networks stronger. The news notifications on your devices trick you into thinking you need to attend to them, because they are in the business of stealing eyeball time. As grave as this pandemic is, you cannot make an argument for the need for constant news cycling. Try skipping media access for hours at a time. Perspective refers to the fact that we can always choose an attitude toward crises. Epictetus, the Greek philosopher, is credited with saying, “It is not what happens to you, but how you react that matters.” We may feel panic, fear about the future, worry about illness, and dread that this crisis will ruin future prospects for our children and ourselves. These feelings are understandable! But feelings are not facts. They come and go, like waves, clouds or leaves floating on a stream. We can choose to accept them as natural in the course of crises. And then we can focus on the perspective we choose. This COVID-19 crisis naturally provokes anxiety about our current and future security. We need to think about the perspective we choose and how it will impact our family’s health. To repeat: Worrying creates more worry. Focusing on solving problems and controlling what we can control empowers us. People experiencing the same basic challenges will range tremendously in their responses to them. One person may say, “This is fantastic! We have never spent this much time together. It will challenge us to innovate. We will handle this as well as the Brits in the blitz, with optimism and a determined commitment to make the best of things. I’m glad that the majority of us who get sick will not need medical help.” Another person will say, “This is a disaster. We have lost a third of our wealth. The kids will lose ground academically and never catch up. I don’t know how we will cope with our cabin fever. How will we know if there will be enough ventilators if we get really sick?” Personality plays a role in people’s tendency toward pessimism versus optimism, agreeableness versus negativity, as well as if they have an open

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mindset versus a reluctance to try new things. That said, we can all attempt to focus on living our values related to maintaining our health, loving and caring for family and friends, and helping others in need. And we need to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. Endurance matters enormously, because the consequences of this pandemic will last many, many months. We must pace ourselves so that we have the ability to withstand unpleasant circumstances and maintain our health. Anxiety creates wear and tear on our immune systems and makes it more likely that we will become both physically ill and mired in negative emotions. Lacking the usual outlets of community gatherings, entertainment, commerce and restaurants, our exile may turn into cabin fever and despair. Families can quell anxiety with experiences that generate positive emotions, such as spending time in nature, keeping a gratitude journal and recounting the joyous parts of their day. People who currently practice meditation will have a leg up when it comes to coping during this crisis. Research has demonstrated the effectiveness of mindfulness methods to calm anxiety, increase positive emotions, and help us practice acceptance of self and others. Prayer and other contemplative practices also help us to calm ourselves. Compared to resilience, endurance has been less of a focus in the coping literature. The ability to adapt to stress will be instrumental on the COVID-19 journey in 2020, but embracing endurance includes the vital acceptance of the long-term difficulties and hardships we face. Jean-Jacques Rousseau put it this way: “Endurance and the ability to endure is the first lesson a child should learn, because it’s the one they will most need to know.” The COVID-19 crisis will require a lot of stamina and courage for us to pull through it. It’s a basic instinct that parents want to protect their children and families. However, sometimes they don’t recognize the negative impact of chronic worry, verbalized pessimism and destructive arguing. Some of that is inevitable, and we need to accept ourselves for that, too! Knowing the phases of adjustment to the COVID-19 pandemic and committing to the practices of good family health can help us ride the waves of fear, worry and stress. This crisis will end, but there will be others to come during this complicated thing called life. The COPE guidance is good practice for anxieties that will face us throughout our lives. We can connect, organize, plan and endure together. ■

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Laura Kastner, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Washington. She is the author of a number of parenting books, including “Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens + Teens.”

parentmap.com • May 2020 • 17

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18 • May 2020 • parentmap.com

may play list Find the latest health advisories and more safe fun at parentmap.com/covid19

15 Ways to Play in May By Devon Hammer

1. How does a zookeeper use grape jelly? Would a salamander call your yard home? Go on a zoothemed scavenger hunt inside or outside of your house for an educational adventure. parentmap.com/hunt 2. The COVID-19 health crisis has given us all a new appreciation for the work that nurses do. On National Nurses Day, May 6, have your kids make a sign for your window or draw a picture to post on social media thanking nurses for all their work. 3. Have a girl-power movie night and watch a film that features a heroic female lead character. Check out our list at parentmap.com/ girl-power.

Despite all the frightening uncertainties in our world these days, there is one thing we can be certain of — our kids need to play! With better weather on the horizon, more virtual resources available than ever before and some new routines (hopefully) established, this temporary way of life is feeling slightly more manageable. Everything is closed, but our ever-curious, ever-active little sponges are still desperate to soak up new experiences and news ways of learning — plus every last ounce of your patience, eh? For your playtime inspiration, we’ve gathered up 15 ways to play in May. With outdoor activities, virtual experiences and ideas for celebrating upcoming holidays (happy Mother’s Day, all you sweet mamas out there!), we hope this list can help make this time more enjoyable.

4. Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 10. Warm a mama’s heart with a homemade gift, a home-cooked meal and a beautiful card. parentmap.com/ mothers-day 5. Have your kids emerge from quarantine with a new skill. Use our guide to help your tots get pedaling on a two-wheeled bike. parentmap.com/bikes u parentmap.com • May 2020 • 19

SCHOOLS + PRESCHOOLS 4 Ways to Foster a Child’s Emotional Intelligence Thanks to modern science, we now know that emotions are sensations within the body that help us deal with different situations. For example, fear drives us to be more careful or to avoid certain situations; anxiety draws attention to what needs to be done and can make us work harder to nail that interview or exam; and anger can provide insight into ourselves. Emotions have an amazing power to shape lives, and they strongly affect your child’s behavior and how he relates to his environment. Science says that children who have learned to express their emotions appropriately find it easier to make and keep friends and to deal with difficult, emotionprovoking situations. Emotionally intelligent kids have also been found to be more ready for school, meaning that they display skills such as an ability to resist distractions and stay focused, lower impulsivity, and an ability to listen to and follow instructions or ask for help when they are unsure of what is expected of them. All signs point to the increasing importance of emotional intelligence in children’s social, academic and psychological well-being, yet for many parents and educators, the best ways to help our children develop emotional intelligence remain unclear. Here are four things to know about emotions that will point the way. 1. There are primary and secondary emotions. There are several primary emotions, but the most common primary emotions are fear, happiness, sadness and anger. Primary emotions are strong and can be easily identified on your child’s face or through his reactions (shaking, kicking or hitting, raising his voice, crying, etc.). Primary emotions are the most common emotions because they are easily elicited and are direct reactions to a situation or trigger. They help us react to common situations encountered by most people (death in a family, being yelled at, fear of monsters, death of a pet, etc.). Secondary emotions are emotions your child learns from the people with whom he spends the most time (primarily family members, day-care professionals and teachers). They are emotions he develops based on how those around him react to how he expresses his primary emotions. For example, if you ridicule your child because he is afraid of the family dog, he could start to feel shame every time

20 • May 2020 • parentmap.com

he expresses fear. What this means for you: As a parent, being aware of how you react to your child’s primary emotions determines the development of his emotional intelligence. If you hug your child when he is sad, he learns to associate sadness (a negative feeling) with hugs (a positive and comforting experience), and this can help him adopt an appropriate way to deal with his sadness. In other words, every time your child feels sad, he will know that asking for a hug will make him feel better. In contrast, yelling at him every time he shows his fears could lead to the development of other emotions, such as worry, guilt and shame, and prevent him from adopting appropriate approaches to deal with difficult emotions.

2. On average, emotions last for 90 seconds. In her book, “My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey,” Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D., says that, clinically speaking, all emotions last 90 seconds on average. Now, if you have kids, I’m sure you’re shaking your head and thinking, “No way! My kid’s emotions last way longer than that,” and you’re absolutely right: The feelings generated by strong emotions persist indefinitely. But here’s the thing: The issue is not really about how long emotions last, but about how your child reacts to them within a 90-second window after the trigger. That 90-second window determines whether she will go into a more frenzied emotional state or whether she will find calm. What this means for you: Helping your child deal effectively with strong emotions is not actually about respecting the 90-second rule. In fact, it’s about engaging your child as

soon as she starts showing strong emotions, which will give you a better chance of helping her find calm. The problem is, not all interventions work. Trying to reason with a child who is in the grip of a tantrum will only stress you both out. But a hug or even a simple touch can help — it shows your child that you are there. Ultimately, raising an emotionally intelligent child is about continually providing her with tools to help her learn to react appropriately to emotional triggers, by herself, as quickly as possible. 3. Everyone experiences the same primary emotions. Every single one of us experiences the same primary emotions. And even those parents who seem to have perfect kids must deal with their children’s tricky emotions from time to time. What this means for you: It’s easy to feel discouraged and helpless when it seems impossible to manage your child’s tantrums and other emotion-driven behavior, but what you need to remember is that all children experience big emotions. That said, when your child has learned to identify his emotions and what triggers them, and when he has identified several tools he can use to cope and selfsoothe in difficult situations, it is much easier to develop his emotional intelligence. 4. Validating emotions helps free us from negative emotions. Emotional invalidation implies and involves minimizing others’ emotions and experiences, and unfortunately, it is a very common practice. Refusing to validate your child’s emotions is dangerous because doing so may make her believe that suppressing them is normal. What this means for you: All emotions are valid. Your failure to understand your child’s emotions does not make those feelings any less valid. Validating her emotions means finding the words to let her know that you understand and care about how she’s feeling: “I know you’re upset. I can see you’re sad because you didn’t get [fill in the blank]. I’d be sad, too.” The thing to remember is that your child can only feel emotionally safe when her emotions are validated. Sanya Pelini is a parent who holds a doctorate in educational research. She transforms educational research into practical tools on her blog Raising Independent Kids (raising-independent-kids.com).

agesplay + stages may list being outside in your neighborhood. parentmap.com/rocks

12. Get “together” with some friends for a Zoom scavenger hunt game night! Take turns calling out something to go find from your made-up list (i.e., something yellow, a spatula … you get the idea). The first family to show the item scores a point. 13. Fuel the creativity of your crafty tweens and teens with an armload of supplies and links to trendy tutorials on macramé to crochet. parentmap.com/crafty 14. Memorial Day is Monday, May 25. Show your

appreciation for the people who serve and have served our country with family-friendly activities on our list. parentmap.com/memorial

15. Longing to hear the pleasant clucking of hens

and enjoy fresh-from-your-yard eggs? Our Chickens 101 guide will help get you started. parentmap.com/chicks

continued from page 19

6. Messy art projects once saved for school are now being conducted in our homes. Ack! Try a super messy project outdoors and save your sanity. Cleanup is just a hose spray away! parentmap.com/messy-fun 7. Missing your child’s favorite museums? Explore these resources in a new way with Curiosity at Home from Pacific Science Center, Burke from Home with the Burke Museum or Take Flight at Home with the Museum of Flight. parentmap.com/virtual-museums 8. National Eat What You Want Day is May 11.

Forget about the food pyramid for a day and go wild with mealtime. Cereal for dinner is always a winner.

9. Turn a stroll into a nature treasure hunt with our list of items you might spot around the block or over at your neighborhood park. parentmap.com/treasures 10. Get the kids cooking up some mud soup with

an awesome backyard mud kitchen. Our guide has lots of ideas, simple to deluxe. parentmap.com/mud-for-dinner

11. Paint a rock, hide a rock, find a rock. Painted rocks combine creativity, craftiness, kindness and

Devon Hammer is ParentMap’s Out + About editorial assistant and a mother of two.

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mother’s day MY KITCHEN LOVE

Make It a Mother’s Day Mix and Match! CULINARY HILL

Brunchy bites and darling DIY gifts for mom By Mackenzie Schieck

We’ve rounded up scrumptious, easy-tofollow recipes and ideas for homemade gifts kids can make to celebrate their favorite lady. Take your pick! Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Yogurt Parfait • thewoodenskillet.com Create a Mother’s Day granola and yogurt parfait with a bright and delicious compote as the star! Strawberries and rhubarb are simmered with lemon zest, lemon juice and sugar in this recipe from 22 • May 2020 • parentmap.com

The Wooden Skillet. It’s almost like having pie for breakfast! (Don’t worry, we won’t tell.) Parmesan Herb Drop Biscuits • familyfoodonthetable.com Family Food on the Table’s savory biscuits require zero kneading or rolling and are ready in less than 25 minutes. Pair them with some scrambled eggs and fruit for a simple Mother’s Day spread that gets the balance of savory and sweet just right.

Coffee Cake Muffins • culinaryhill.com These delicious scratch muffins from Culinary Hill are sweetened with cinnamon and sugar, with walnuts adding a nice crunch. Plus, they only require five minutes of prep — perfect for anyone who might be running a bit late for brunch.

WELL PLATED

6 Adorable Mother’s Day Gifts Kids Can Make

Blueberry French Toast With Lemon • wellplated.com Put all the focus on mom in the morning by making this French toast casserole from Well Plated the night before. Blueberries and lemon add a zippy new flavor profile to an old favorite in this impressive — yet super cinchy — brunch recipe.

Cinnamon Roll Cobbler • crazyforcrust.com It’s sort of like breakfast, sort of like dessert, and totally mouthwatering. Just two ingredients are needed for this recipe from Crazy for Crust: pie filling and refrigerated cinnamon rolls. Simply throw everything in a nonstick pan and put it in the oven to bake. Easy as that! Baked Eggs in Buns • mykitchenlove.com These bread-cradled baked eggs from My Kitchen Love look amazing, yet they take very little effort. Just hollow out rolls, pour a raw egg in each and bake for 15–20 minutes. Kick up the presentation factor by garnishing them with micro greens, steamed asparagus, pea shoots or fruit.

DIY ‘Pineapple’ Wine Bottle • redefinedmom.com Redefined Mom knows that the combo of wine and chocolates is usually a winner with mamas. This nifty idea is great for kids who don’t love crafts but want to give a semi-homemade gift. All they need are some individually wrapped chocolates, a nice bottle of mom’s favorite wine, colored paper, ribbon and a glue gun. It couldn’t be simpler to assemble, and we think this is one Mother’s Day gift that will go down well.

Apricot Preserves Crumb Cake • thebeachhousekitchen.com Cake with preserves baked in? Yes, please! In this crumb cake recipe from The Beach House Kitchen, a topping of sugar, cinnamon and crumb is sprinkled over apricot preserves with delicious results. Someone, please get the coffee going! THE BEACH HOUSE KITCHEN

Everything Bagel Breakfast Strata • runningtothekitchen.com Toasted bagel cubes, sun-dried tomatoes, basil, cooked onions and bacon make for one hearty breakfast strata. Running to the Kitchen’s recipe only takes 10 minutes of prep to assemble, and everyone can be sitting around the kitchen table eating in less than an hour.

Pressed Flowers • lilyardor.com Lily, proprietress of the Lily Ardor blog, made a brilliant discovery: Instead of waiting weeks for pressed flowers to dry, you can process them in your microwave in an instant. For this quick craft idea, kids can collect some spring wildflowers, dry the blooms in the microwave and then use them to make a divine framed work of art for mom.

Nutella Banana Waffles • flouronmyface.com Cinnamon, Nutella and bananas add something special to everyday waffles in this recipe from Flour On My Face. There’s even a recipe for Nutella cinnamon syrup to top off this perfect Mother’s Day brunch featuring everyone’s favorite chocolate-hazelnut spread. (As it should be.)

Fudgy One-Bowl Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Pretzel Cake • halfbakedharvest.com Yes, it is simply amazing how one humble bowl can contain so much deliciousness! Kids will really wow mom — and steal all the attention at the brunch buffet — with this cake. Half Baked Harvest blogger Tieghan swears that “anyone can make this cake and not mess it up.” ■ Mackenzie Schieck is a writer and photographer obsessed with lattes, stuff that’s funny and assorted pretty things. Find recipes and the aforementioned pretty things on her blog, Pine and Crave (pineandcrave.com).

Simple Five-Minute Sugar Scrub • reasonstoskipthehousework.com Got a mama who loves to take a nice hot bath after a long day of work and parenting? Consider transforming her Mother’s Day into a home spa day, beginning with this great recipe for a delicious-smelling sugar scrub from Reasons to Skip the Housework. Requiring only a handful of ingredients, this colorful bath scrub can be made in bulk to treat all of the lovely ladies in the family. Handprint Flower Bouquet • nontoygifts.com We love this idea from Stef at Non-Toy Gifts. Have kids trace an outline of their hand on colored craft paper of their choosing and cut it out. Then, have them make a pretty pollen insert with some yellow craft paper. Finally, glue the whole thing onto some floral wire to create a personalized paper flower. Cozy Slippers • prettyprovidence.com We love this idea for a slipper(y) surprise from Pretty Providence. It doesn’t involve a whole lot of crafting, but it definitely makes for a sweet gift. Find a cute pair of slippers, stuff them with mom’s favorite treats and then tie them up with a beautiful ribbon. What could be simpler than that? Salt Dough Flower Magnets • thebestideasforkids.com The Best Ideas for Kids blog shares this neat idea for making salt-dough picture magnets to decorate the family fridge. Talk about an adorable project — and it’s sure to make a memorable gift for mom!

— Vicky McDonald

parentmap.com • May 2020 • 23

climate

Reasons to Join a CSA It stands to reason that foods that haven’t been transported long distances or passed through a factory before reaching our tables will not only be fresher, but will also have fewer environmental impacts. That’s true, yet life-cycle analyses have shown that processing and transportation contribute relatively small proportions of the greenhouse gas emissions attributed to foods. However, even if visiting a farmers market or subscribing to a CSA (an acronym for community supported agriculture) doesn’t directly change your climate impact, there are still some very good reasons to buy local.

CSAs reduce loss. The direct climate benefit of buying food directly from the producer is small, but it does exist, and it is somewhat amplified by an indirect benefit. Buying local cuts out the distribution step — shipping and retail — from your food’s life cycle, and with it, the wastage that would have occurred before the food reached you, the consumer.

CSAs strengthen community ties. Know your farmer, know your food. When you buy directly, you get to know your farmer, building a relationship with the people who feed you. You know more about your food: what’s in season where you live, what methods were used to grow it and how different varieties of the same type of produce taste. You become a more informed diner and tend to make healthier food choices.

CSAs and their customers support our local economy. Those community ties you build with your farmer are not just about good feelings. Money spent on CSAs or at a farmers market stays in the community. Nearly all directmarket farmers buy their supplies locally, compared with 45 percent of wholesale farmers. They also spend their profits locally, because they live here, too.

CSAs increase food security. Industrial-scale farming requires huge produce monocultures — often of varieties that hold up well for shipping but don’t taste as good. Local farms can branch out, planting many varieties of the same produce, including heirloom varieties that may taste better. This biodiversity offers more than just different flavor profiles — varieties of a crop also have different degrees of resistance to diseases. One type of corn might be wiped out by a new disease, but if there are dozens of corn varieties in cultivation, some of them might survive. Local food is a form of disaster proofing, too. The spread of the coronavirus pandemic has raised the specter of breakdowns in the food distribution network through travel restrictions or the shutdown of large warehouses. If that happens, we’ll be grateful for a weekly delivery of a box of food picked by a handful of workers at a local farm. Also, local disasters have less of an impact when food systems are not centralized. For example, the United States depends on Washington for 90 percent of its raspberries — great for us, but bad for everybody if we have a poor harvest.

CSAs are a bushel of fun! It’s like Christmas every week to receive a box brimming with locally grown and harvested vegetables, fruits, herbs and even flowers. Bonus: Most participating farms have a field-trip day, when you and the fam can put on your grungies and take a tour of exactly where those carrots came from. You can even help out — bail some hay, pick some veggies, water some flowers. It’s the full farm experience with a bumper crop of learning opportunities for you and your kids. For a list of fabulous CSAs in the Seattle area, visit parentmap.com/CSA.

Green Bites:

How to Cut Carbon From Your Family’s Diet Three steps to more sustainable meals By Gemma Alexander

n a year when we can’t celebrate Earth Day with public marches and celebrations, we can hold a rally at home by building more climate-friendly habits that we can sustain for the long term. Cutting carbon emissions from our diet is one of the most promising ways to do that. Eating more sustainably not only helps the planet, it also makes us healthier and can actually save us money. Here is how your family can adopt a lower-carbon diet.

Waste less. Environmental responsibility is often perceived as requiring sacrifice, but one of the most effective ways to cut carbon from your diet doesn’t require you to give up anything. According to the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations, about one-third of the world’s annual food production is lost or wasted every year. That wasted food accounts for 8 percent of human global greenhouse gas emissions. Some of that loss happens along the supply chain, but the U.S. Department of Agriculture estimates that Americans waste about 400 pounds of food per person each year, to the tune of $218 billion. That much waste would be unthinkable in almost any other aspect of our lives. Careful meal planning, shopping with a list and “cooking scrappy” are among the tricks you can use to dramatically reduce the amount of food your family tosses out each year.

Minimize meat. According to a study in the journal Science, a vegan diet is the single most effective way for individuals to minimize their environmental impact. Eating a vegetarian or vegan diet does require planning to ensure a sufficient amount of protein

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is consumed, but the standard American diet is actually too rich in protein. Nutritionally and environmentally speaking, most meat eaters need to cut down. But switching to a vegan diet is a significant lifestyle change that many people are not willing or even able to make. The good news is you don’t have to take an all-or-nothing approach to do your part: You don’t have to be vegan to eat less meat than you do now. If your family usually has meat with every meal, try eating one vegetarian meal per day, or give Meatless Monday a go. Try shifting the balance on your plate; instead of a piece of meat with a side salad, try a dinner salad with a bit of meat. Even changing which meats you eat can make an environmental difference — beef produces more greenhouse gases than pork, which produces more than chicken.

Buy organic. Many people buy organic food to avoid exposure to and pollution from pesticides. And there is controversy over whether switching to organic farming would reduce climate change or actually increase net greenhouse gas emissions. But even if organic farming isn’t the magic bullet many people hope for, it does promote healthy soil, increasing the soil’s capacity to sequester carbon dioxide as a huge carbon sink. When it’s available and if you can afford it, buy organic. ■ Seattle-based freelance writer Gemma Alexander focuses on the intersection of parenting and the arts. When she’s not writing for ParentMap, she blogs at gemmadeealexander.com and tweets @gemmadeetweet.

During these challenging times, please know that your Jewish National Fund family is here for you. If you need any assistance locally, please contact us; we are ready to lend a helping hand. We wish for a speedy return to calm times for all. Boaz Meir and Jackson Pincus 206.760.1188 jnf.org · 800.JNF.0099

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Environmental Learning Activities You Can Do in Your Own Backyard Enjoy dozens of homeschool projects that provide both academic and vitamin D enrichment By Gemma Alexander

he physical and mental health benefits of time spent outdoors are well documented. In a time of physical distancing, gaining those benefits is both more important and more challenging than ever. Outdoor activities such as soccer games and playground time are off-limits, but you can take the classroom outside. Try some of these environmental learning projects for both academic and vitamin D enrichment. And since families often include students at different grade levels, these projects can be tweaked to work for any mixed-ages group. (Note: You’ll find links to all of these experiments and activities at parentmap.com/eco-learning.)

1. Get your grow on. While it is not so much the case today, during the first 10,000 years since agriculture developed, most family members had a role in growing food. Use this homebound time to introduce kids of all ages to the art and science of gardening. Toddlers can poke seeds into the ground (or into a pot on the porch) and pick fruit when it’s ripe, while older kids might take over one section of the garden. Grade-schoolers can run plant experiments: Your students can calculate germination rates; conduct seedling races to demonstrate growth under different parentmap.com • May 2020 • 27

CAMPS, ARTS + ACTIVITIES 9 Benefits for Teens Who Attend Camp Many of us parents think of camp as a place to send our elementary-age kids so they aren’t sitting around the house bored all summer; we also know our kiddos will make friends, learn new things, have fun and make memories at camp. But as kids grow older, we sometimes forget that they still need those kinds of experiences — just in a different form. Maybe you don’t think your teen needs summer camp. Your teen should be babysitting, mowing lawns, working at the pool or hanging around with friends, right? Well, sure! But why not send them off for a week or more of summer fun and learning this year? Here are nine great benefits teens experience when they attend summer camp:

counselors of different ages and from different backgrounds. Learning how to get along and work as a team is a huge life skill that is developed and reinforced at camp. Some camps even have kids do team- and trust-building activities to help them get to know each other. 7. Staying active. Forget sitting around absorbed in “screen time” all day long during the summer! When teens attend camp, they often forget all about tech amusements and focus on having fun with their friends while going on hikes, boating, swimming and more.

1. Learning how to give back. Community service camps offer a great chance for teens to make a difference while also developing skills that will carry them through their lives. Maybe your teen will learn how to pack food for the homeless, teach kids how to read or work on a project that will benefit the community, such as cleaning up a playground or fixing equipment. They could even learn how to paint a house, maintain a yard for an elderly person who is unable to do so anymore, or even learn how to plan and build a house for a family in need. 2. Making new friends. Some teens attend the same camp or camps every summer and might reunite with the friends they’ve made there, year after year. Campers who are attending for the very first time can hone their social skills by making new friends and getting to know other kids outside of their typical school setting. Being in close proximity for days or weeks helps kids get closer, faster. 3. Learning new things. Whether your teen attends a camp to learn more about horses, adventure, a specific sport or anything else, they have an entire day, week or longer to focus on that one activity and really immerse themselves in it. Your teen might discover a new passion that could be helpful in their education or work life later on. 4. Deepening their faith. If your teen enjoys church youth groups and activities, a church or other organized religious camp could be just the ticket. The day might begin with a church service, followed by breakfast, then a hike and other activities. Later, there could be singing songs around a bonfire while roasting s’mores. 5. Developing a hobby. When your child is unplugged from the TV, video game console or smartphone, they can really concentrate on developing a hobby. These days, there seems to be a camp for pretty much any interest your kid has. 6. Working as a team. Your teen will be meeting kids and

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8. Standing on their own. Let’s face it: As our kids get older, they start to grow away from us. They are simply preparing to head out on their own and they are also preparing you for that transition by perhaps being a little distant. Teens are stuck between childhood and adulthood, and it’s a confusing time. Going away to camp for even a short period of time helps foster independence. 9. Appreciating everything. Away from screens (yes, I keep fixating on this one), it’s easier to focus on nature, learning, forming relationships and more. After being away from home and their parents, kids often return with a newfound appreciation for what it takes to be in a family and help out in the running of the household. Your teen will probably come back also appreciating things they once took for granted, such as a full pantry that’s open all day, their comfy bed and privacy! Teen summer camp has so many benefits that cover all the bases — physical, social, mental and spiritual. As for the rest of the summer? Well, your teen can spend plenty of time doing those odd jobs to help pay for camp next year! Kerrie McLoughlin is a seasoned homeschooling mom of five who blogs at The Kerrie Show (thekerrieshow.com).

ages + stages

Environmental Learning Activities in Your Own Backyard continued from page 27 light or water conditions; dissect plants and flowers to identify their parts; and learn to distinguish the good bugs from the not-so-good ones. Teens might take over planting plans for the whole garden and calculate harvest times; they can also get exercise by building raised beds and turning compost. If your outdoor space is limited, you can plant a container garden, make a terrarium or read the book “Linnea’s Windowsill Garden,” a collection of indoor gardening ideas, such as sprouting plants from meal leftovers. 2. Cancel climate change. The science of climate change is hard to grasp, but we can teach our kids that human activities such as driving gas-powered cars and using too much electricity make the planet less habitable. As a family, study the climate impacts of transportation. Print out a map of your neighborhood, then go on a walk. Help small children mark places on the map they can walk to. Point out the cars, power lines and polluting activities you see along the way. Have older kids highlight places on the map where there isn’t a sidewalk or a bike lane, then send a copy of the map to an elected official, asking them to put more sidewalks and bike lanes in your neighborhood. Afterward, make a plan together for incorporating more walking and biking into your family’s daily life, and for using public transit once physical distancing is over. If they haven’t learned already, now is a great time to teach your kids how to ride a bike and use bike hand signals. To understand the power of solar energy, preschoolers can use a thermometer to see differences between sunny and shady areas before using solar energy to melt blocks of colored ice, blow up balloons or create shadow art. For their study of sustainable energy sources, older kids can build a solar oven or make their own wind turbine. Building a dirt battery doesn’t really illustrate geothermal power, but it is fun! Teens can conduct the same experiments without supervision, or even make their own biodiesel. Then they can calculate your family’s carbon footprint and develop a household climate action plan. 3. Wonder about water. Even toddlers can grasp the concept of water pollution

by performing a simple activity (conducted outdoors to minimize cleanup, and with weather permitting) to “pollute” and then filter a bucket of water. A similar water treatment experiment using sedimentation, filtration and disinfection is good for older kids. Making a rain gauge is a surprisingly satisfying enterprise for kids of all ages, as is exploring the outdoors on a rainy day. Older kids can follow step-by-step instructions to find plumbing leaks inside and outside of the house. Kids will use investigative skills, perform tests, learn

about water use and even do a little math on the way to saving water. Teens can learn about potential water contaminants and the problem of lead in drinking water. Then they can take water samples from your faucets and outdoor water sources and test them with a home test kit. Or, for a more ambitious outdoor water project, they can build a rain garden. 4. Discover taxonomic treasures. In “How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy” (surely a guidebook for these times!), artist Jennie Odell talks about the satisfaction that comes from mentally transforming an undifferentiated mass of greenery into known species. That knowledge gives a sense of both belonging and control, which most of us really need right now. For little kids, just taking a walk and pointing out common flowers or spotting the eagle flying overhead may be enough to make them feel knowledgeable. More goal-oriented tots might

appreciate a scavenger hunt or a game of bug bingo. Your family can use iNaturalist (inaturalist.org), a social-media app, to record encounters with other organisms, crowdsource identification and maintain life lists. Older kids can also download Mammalz (community.mammalz.com), a sort of multimedia YouTube for nature content. Teens can take their botany and taxonomy a step further by using identification keys in field guides (and by extension, learning the vocabulary to describe leaf shapes, feather types and insect anatomy). 5. Become an activist. Even little kids can comprehend the impacts of human activity on the environment when you spot rats and coyotes in the city during daytime or show them pictures of dolphins swimming in Venice’s canals. While everyone is at home, take the time to transform information into action. Students can study endangered habitats and species around the world through artist John Dyer’s Last Chance to Paint project (lastchancetopaint.com) and are encouraged to submit their own artwork inspired by endangered species for display in the online World Gallery. They can also post the artwork to social media — and tag elected officials when they do it. Kids of all ages can use the new Earth Challenge app (earthchallenge2020.earthday.org) to become a citizen scientist, linking local environmental data collection with digital political action. Picking up litter as part of the Great Global Cleanup (cleanup.earthday.org) pairs nicely with this app. Earth Day Network also suggests the following agebased environmental endeavors. (You’ll find links to these activities at parentmap.com/eco-learning): • Ages 4 and older: Reduce bird collisions with DIY CD sun catchers • Ages 7 and older: Make a bee condo • Ages 10 and older: Plan an invasive-species cleanup • Ages 12 and older: Plant a wildflower garden ■ Seattle-based freelance writer Gemma Alexander focuses on the intersection of parenting and the arts. When she’s not writing for ParentMap, she blogs at gemmadeealexander.com and tweets @gemmadeetweet. parentmap.com • May 2020 • 29

CAMPS, ARTS + ACTIVITIES

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Meet Citizen University’s Eric Liu This author and CEO proffers a primer on citizenship in uncertain times By Patty Lindley

o say that Eric Liu has an impressive curriculum vitae is an understatement. From his service as a White House speechwriter for President Bill Clinton (and later as Clinton’s deputy domestic policy adviser) to cofounding the Alliance for Gun Responsibility to cofounding Citizen University (citizenuniversity.us), you could almost say that Liu wrote the book on citizenship. Oh, wait, he’s written several, actually. The mission of Citizen University, which

convenes leaders to teach effective citizenship through gatherings, workshops and other collaboratives, is to catalyze a culture in which Americans are steeped in a sense of civic character, responsibly wielding the tools of civic power and contributing actively to solve problems in their communities. We caught up with Liu to learn more about the work of Citizen University and his vision for how to live like a citizen in this testing time in our history.

What is Citizen University’s definition of citizenship? At Citizen University, when we talk about citizenship, we often use this equation: power plus character equals citizenship. And when you unpack that for somebody, whether they are a child or an adult, we mean it very simply: That to really be a citizen in this broader sense means, number one, that you have to understand power. You have to understand how to get things done in a community, how to move people and ideas, organize action and raise money, and create agendas for the thing that you’d like to see happen. That’s the power side of the equation. But while that’s important, it’s not sufficient, because you have to couple that literacy and power with a grounding and character — with a moral sense. And when we talk about character, we’re not talking about individual or personal virtue; we’re not talking about grit or perseverance or diligence, though those things are important. What we are meaning is more character in the collective. Do you think any differently about these everyday principles of citizenship in light of the threat and disruption of the pandemic? The pandemic, I think, highlights some core beliefs that we have had in our work. In the first place, we always say, “Society becomes how you behave.” When you choose to be compassionate or not compassionate, when you choose to be civil or not civil, courteous or not courteous, that’s not just your personal choice: You are setting off a contagion of behavior. And that’s true under all circumstances in

normal times, but in abnormal times, like now in this crisis, you really realize how fear is contagious. Anxiety is contagious. A sense of scarcity is contagious. And so, we have to remember, calm is also contagious. A sense that we’re going to take care of each other is contagious. A sense that fact and context and science matter, not just going off half-cocked and spreading rumor — that’s contagious. A second principle we really highlight in all our work is “We’re all better off when we’re all better off.” In normal times, we make an argument about why it matters that we empower and invest in some of the most vulnerable members of our community, so that they can have a voice, so that they can have a say and so they can live to their fullest potential. But in the midst of a pandemic and a crisis, the other meaning of “We’re all better off when we’re all better off” is that there’s no way you can wall yourself off from the fate of people who are suffering. In the end, a community is only as healthy as its least healthy members. The last principle that really is core to our work at Citizen University is “Don’t hoard power, circulate it.” I think hoarding is of course happening everywhere right now when you go to grocery stores and pharmacies. But it’s not just about the material things; it’s more, again, this creeping contagious anxiety where people feel like, “I can’t be generous to somebody right now, because I’ve got to look out for my own, and I’m not going to be the sucker who tries to help someone else out.” And when everybody does that, society falls apart.

We’ve got to circulate it. I don’t mean be a saint or an altruist. I mean, understand self-interest in an enlightened way, that when you do spend a little to keep a corner market open, when you do check in on your elderly isolated neighbor, you’re not being a sucker. You’re actually just making sure that the whole community is going to be able to sustain itself. What do you hope will be some positive outcomes of this daunting time? I hope that we can all muster together ways to remind each other how to live like a citizen right now. To live like a citizen right now is to practice social distancing while also practicing social connectedness. It is to practice awareness of what’s going on in the world while balancing that with common perspective. It is to try to contain the fear that is spreading by dispensing regular doses of love. We have to live this way in every choice we make right now. My second hope is that after this crisis passes, we retain some of the best lessons of how to live like a citizen, and that we don’t just revert to short-term thinking, selfishness, bad habits, and being isolated and cut off from one another. That we remember that there is a certain magic that happens in disasters and calamities, when people discover how interconnected we are with each other, and discover the beauty and the blessing and the power of fellow feeling. I hope that we will sustain that even after the worst of the emergency passes. ■

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