Breaking Barriers:

Thriving As a Working Parent with Long-Term, Chronic Illness

Catriona and I met in 2018, whilst we worked for a paediatric rehabilitation centre in SW London as a Clinical Psychologist (Esther) and Occupational Therapist. I was in awe of Cat and saw her as a highly skilled, compassionate OT, and Mum of three children aged 4 and 8, including twins! “How did she thrive and manage to juggle everything?” I thought?

Catriona’s mother died suddenly in late 2017. Soon after, my family and I (Catriona) moved back to the UK from South Africa. I was still in the depths of grief and felt like no one really understood. In our first team meeting, I could see that Esther was different – her calmness, compassion, and authenticity shone through. She genuinely cared and showed great empathy towards me during this difficult time.

Esther’s Illness:

A few months after I met Catriona, I was hospitalised many times for a range of abdominal symptoms and pain all over my body. My kidney function was dropping, and - to my horror - a biopsy revealed a rare condition affecting the kidney filters. At first, I was unable to work and thought my much loved career as a Clinical Psychologist was over. With two small children to look after, I could barely move or go out. A Professor of Nephrology told me in the lockdown of Summer 2020, after having my third baby, that I would be placed on a kidney waiting list, which was very traumatic. I thought I would be heading for dialysis. I had been pushing myself to do NHS and private work alongside co-editing a book with over twenty contributors (Jim & Cole, 2019). This four-year project started when my firstborn (son) was a toddler in 2015. By the book launch in 2019, at The Royal Society of Medicine, having been in bed the whole day, I did not know I was expecting our third child and feeling a tiny bit better each week!

Catriona’s Illness:

I was diagnosed with Psoriasis at a young age and hospitalised many times during my childhood. It is an autoimmune skin disease. It also effects my joints and can make me feel very fatigued. Over the years, I have learnt to manage it, but it has not been easy dealing with the physical and psychological impact.

After my mother’s death, I was also diagnosed with a hole in my heart. This came as a big shock as I thought I would not be around to see my children grow up. However, just like Psoriasis, I see it as another condition to manage and keep monitoring. As I get older, I am more conscious that I need to make the most of my time.

So how do you deal with earthshattering health news as a working parent? Over the years, Catriona and I have drawn from a few theories and research linking back to our work as therapists, to maintain our physical and mental well-being. We have lived it and, although no days are easy for us, we successfully juggle health, work and being a parent; and somehow wake up to three amazing children, who are thriving and growing each day. Here are 12 tips that we hope you find useful.

On physical and mental health well-being

Embrace Flexible Working