1
July 2021
Let's Go Fishing
cruises on
Pontoon rides resume for seniors, vets
Photos by Shannon Geisen/Enterprise Beside the fresh, outdoor air and sunshine, guests saw loons on this trip along the Fish Hook River and lake.
By Shannon Geisen sgeisen@parkrapidsenterprise.com
“Over the last 11 years of outings, we’ve averaged about 21 trips a year,” Norenberg said. “It he Let’s Go Fishing Headvaries with the number of people, waters Chapter celebrates its but over the years probably an 11th year on the water this summer. average of at least a couple hunThe organization provides free dred people per year.” pontoon excursions to groups of On the second cruise of the seniors, youth, veterans or indi2021 summer, Norenberg and first viduals with disabilities. mate Luckeroth navigated guests “There is no cost to anyone as from Crystal Brook Senior Living long as we have a senior onboard,” Community down the Fish Hook explained Fred Luckeroth, chair of River and around Fish Hook Lake. the Park Rapids chapter. Brinn Krabbenhoft, life COVID restrictions prevented enhancement coordinator at Cryssunny jaunts on area lakes last tal Brook, scheduled the cruise for year, but the boat, volunteer capfive residents. “Who else gets to tains and first mates are ready to hang out with nice people in the motor this season. sun on the water?” she asked. The chapter is adhering to CenLet’s Go Fishing’s primary cliters for Disease Control guidelines ent base are residents of nursing for its trips, so fully vaccinated care facilities and seniors living folks do not need to wear masks or social distance. If this criteria Mary Jo and Jim Sackett thoroughly en- at home. They encourage families is met, then 10 guests are allowed joyed the pontoon ride. "I had no idea and organizations to book trips that include a senior, veteran or for a sightseeing cruise, with a it'd be this peaceful, restful," Jim said. maximum of three wheelchairs, and six guests for person with a disability. In recent years, Norenberg said, they’ve taken fishing trips. Ron Norenberg recently stepped down as chair, more youth on cruises. A local Christian youth a position he’s held since the chapter’s inception. camp was slated to bring 40 kids on a ride. But he’s still donning a captain’s hat and guiding the pontoon. LET'S GO FISHING: Page 8
T
Inside this issue... 2 Disabled American Veterans chapter dedicated to vets 3 Get grilling 5 Mending power of nature 7 How to pick the best place to retire 8 Grief over a death can hit again years later
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Disabled American Veterans chapter dedicated to vets By Stephen “Butch” Whitehead, Minnesota DAV Adjutant The Disabled American Veterans of Minnesota (DAV) recently recognized Park Rapids Chapter 38 for their commitment to serving veterans and their families. Over the years, Chapter 38 has continued to grow and develop new programs to assist local veterans. They credit much of their continued success to the Park Rapids community. “Living in a community that is incredibly supportive of the Veteran community makes our job easier,” said Park Rapids DAV Adjutant Greg Remus. Community is an important component of the chapter. They frequently provide support to other local programs or services that benefit veterans, such as the Salvation Army, Living at Home of the Park Rapids Area and the Patriot Assistance Dog Training Program. They are more than happy to support
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organizations that are working to better the lives of veterans and their families. “If you give money in your own backyard, you will see the results right away,”says Park Rapids DAV Commander Jerry Bjerke. By donating to local programs, not only are they supporting veterans but are also freeing up funds to allow these organizations to assist even more people. “Our mission is simple; we do whatever we can to better the lives of local veterans and their families,” said Bjerke. And to achieve that mission, the DAV
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chapter is constantly seeking out the current needs of veterans and doing what they can to meet those needs. In 2013, the chapter recognized an increasing need for transportation from Park Rapids to the Fargo VA. Located 90 miles away, the Fargo VA is where many local veterans receive medical care. In response, they purchased a van and started a transportation program through which veterans can request a ride to medical appointments,
completely free of charge. The service is available to any veteran in the Park Rapids area or anyone who lives along the route to Fargo. The veterans are transported by dedicated volunteer drivers, who have logged over 3,700 hours since the beginning of the program. This program has grown into an essential service for local veterans and has transported over 1,200 veterans and driven more than 120,000 miles. DAV Chapter 38 Outdoors is the chapter’s newest program, which provides veterans with opportunities to enjoy the outdoors. Throughout the year they host a variety of events, including pheasant hunts, deer hunts, ice fishing tournaments, and beginning in May, they are hosting fishing charters on Lake Superior throughout summer.
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Most events are handicap accessible, providing veterans with opportunities they might not have otherwise. Being able to spend time in nature and participate in outdoor events helps provide healing and recovery for disabled veterans. “At one of our deer hunts, we had a veteran who had not shot a deer since 1983. The excitement he had while participating in the hunt was truly moving,” said DAV outdoors director
Darius Simon. The chapter is equipped to host a variety of events, thanks to generous donations from the community. They have received donations of access to lands for hunting, access to a residents fishing boat, and yeararound storage for their icehouse. If interested in supporting or learning more about DAV Chapter 38, call the Hubbard County Veterans Service Office at 218-732-3561.
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July 2021
GET GRILLING
Heat things up this summer with these 3 recipes
FORUM FILE PHOTO
Sarah's Sicilian Marinated Top Sirloin Steak is an easy summer dinner idea.
Home with the Lost Italian BY SARAH & TONY NASELLO
Columnist
By Sarah and Tony Nasello I was talking to a friend last week and she asked me for suggestions of what she should make for dinner that night. The weather was lovely that day, so I told her to get outside and fire up her grill. “Ugh,” she said, “that’s too much work. I think I’ll just order a pizza.” I understood her response because I used to feel the same way about grilling. Up until five years ago, our grill was purely Tony’s domain, and I was just fine with that. But then, Tony’s work schedule changed, and he could no longer participate in the photo shoots for this column. I quickly realized that if I ever wanted to feature any grilled food recipes again, I was going to have to get cozy with our grill.
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Once I did, I could not believe how easy it was to make a piece of meat taste amazing with so little effort, and little to no mystique. People have been grilling food since the beginning of time, and it is now one of my favorite ways to cook. Most grilled meat dishes follow a similar, basic formula: Once you have chosen the meat, whisk together a few fresh herbs, some citrus or vinegar, garlic, seasoning and voila — you have a marinade. Before you start cooking, make sure your grill is clean, hot and lubricated with vegetable oil (to prevent the food from sticking to the grate). Next, all you need to do is place the meat on the hot grill, wait for grill marks to appear
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on the bottom, flip and repeat until the meat achieves your desired temperature. It really can be that simple. To make it even simpler, be sure to have a meat thermometer on hand to ensure an accurate reading. And, if you plan to grill some vegetables, you can use a grill basket or (my favorite trick) a wire cooling rack to prevent the veggies from falling
Astkhe
through the grates. Today I am digging into the archives to share three of my favorite recipes for the grill: Sarah’s Sicilian Marinated Top Sirloin Steak, Sarah’s Sicilian Marinated Top Sirloin Steak and Tony’s Mojito Chicken. These are my go-to recipes for easy summer dinners, and I make them several times each season. I am developing sev-
r o t c o D
eral new grilling recipes for this summer and cannot wait to share them with you when they are ready. In the meantime, grab your apron and tongs and get your grill on.
Sarah’s Sicilian Marinated Top Sirloin Steak
2 sirloin steaks, 2 pounds each 1/2 cup extra-virgin
olive oil 2 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice 2 Tbsp. red wine vinegar 2 cloves garlic, finely minced 2 Tbsp. fresh parsley, finely chopped 1 Tbsp. fresh oregano, finely chopped 1 Tbsp. fresh thyme, finely chopped 2 tsp. honey
GRILLING: Page 4
Computer Vision Syndrome Approximately 100 million American workers are affected by computer eyestrain, a symptom of computer vision syndrome (CVS).
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As our nation has moved from a manufacturing society to an information society, computer vision syndrome has become a workplace concern. While prolonged computer use will not damage vision, it can make you uncomfortable and decrease productivity. CVS is caused by the eyes constantly focusing and refocusing on the characters on a computer screen. These characters don’t have the contrast or well-defined edges like printed words and the eyes’ focus cannot remain fixed. CVS can be partially alleviated by changes in the ergonomics of the work area. Symptoms of CVS include headaches, loss of focus, burning or tired eyes, blurred vision, and neck or shoulder pain. Proper lighting and monitor placement can go a long way toward reducing CVS, as can giving your eyes frequent ‘breaks’ from the computer. But the underlying cause of CVS – the ability of the eyes to focus on the computer screen – may only be remedied by specialized computer glasses. A comprehensive eye exam, including questions about a person’s computer-use habits, is the first step. If it is determined that vision correction for computer use is required, an eye doctor can prescribe computer lenses that are designed to improve your vision in the 18” to 28” range, the optimal distance between your eyes and the computer monitor.
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4 GRILLING From Page 3
1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes 1/2 tsp. kosher salt 1/4 tsp. black pepper In a medium bowl, whisk together olive oil, vinegar, garlic, herbs, honey, crushed red pepper flakes, salt and pepper until combined. Taste and add more seasoning and flavors as desired; flavors will intensify as marinade settles. Transfer half to a small bowl; cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. Place steaks in a large plastic zipper bag and pour remaining marinade into the bag. Seal the bag and turn it several times until steaks are fully coated. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours or overnight. When ready to cook, preheat grill to high. Remove steaks from plastic bag and transfer to baking sheet or dish. Let rest at room temperature for 30 minutes. Grill steaks over direct heat until grill marks are achieved on the bottom, about 5 to 6 minutes, then turn steaks over and continue cooking until a thermometer inserted in the middle of each steak reaches your desired temperature. Transfer meat to a cutting board, cover lightly with aluminum foil and let rest for 10 minutes to allow the juices to settle. Carve steaks into slices and immediately pour half the reserved marinade over carved meat, saving the rest to serve on the side. Serves 4 to 6.
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Serve pork chops with fresh herbs and sliced jalapenos.
Tony’s Mojito Chicken
6 boneless, skinless split chicken breasts (if using whole breasts, cut in half, lengthwise) 2 to 3 limes, freshly squeezed (zest 1 before squeezing) Zest from 1 lime 1/2 cup light rum (can also use coconut, dark, or spiced rum) 15 to 20 fresh mint leaves, cut chiffonade style 1 Tbsp. sugar 2 tsp. kosher salt 1 tsp. fresh black pepper 1/2 cup olive oil Mix all ingredients in a large bowl or baking dish first, then toss chicken in the mixture, making sure each piece is evenly coated. Cover dish and refrigerate for 2 to 4 hours. Due to the acid in this recipe, we do not recommend marinating for longer than 4 hours.
Mojito Chicken is a perfect summer dish. When ready, grill chicken on a hot, clean and lubricated grill. Grill on 1 side over direct heat for about 5 minutes until grill marks set in. Turn and grill on other side and grill over indirect heat for at least 10 minutes, until fully cooked. Use a meat thermometer to check for doneness. When chicken is
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done, transfer to plates or serving platter and enjoy. Cover and refrigerate leftovers for up to 2 days. Serves 4 to 6.
Quick and Easy Soy Basted Pork Chops 1/4 cup soy sauce 1/4 cup unseasoned rice (wine) vinegar 2 Tbsp.s brown sugar, light or dark
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4 half-inch thick bone-in pork blade or rib chops Vegetable oil (for grill) Kosher salt For serving: Variety of 3 or more fresh herbs, roughly chopped — mint, cilantro, parsley, basil, thyme, marjoram 1 medium jalapeno, thinly sliced
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To temper their heat, marinate jalapeno slices in a small bowl with juice of 1 lime and 2 tablespoons olive oil, then refrigerate overnight or for up to 3 days. In a small bowl, whisk together soy sauce, rice vinegar and brown sugar until combined and sugar is dissolved. Use a fork to prick pork chops all over, and place in a large plastic zipper bag. Pour in half the marinade, seal bag and turn to evenly coat pork chops. Cover and refrigerate remaining marinade until ready to grill. Let pork chops marinate for at least 10 minutes, or overnight for best results. Make sure your grill is clean, hot and lubricated with vegetable or olive oil before using. Remove pork chops from marinade; discard marinade.
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Season chops lightly with salt and grill on 1 side until grill marks are achieved, about 2 to 3 minutes, using a brush or spoon to baste tops with the remaining marinade at least twice before turning. Flip chops over and grill on other side, basting often, until an internal temperature between 145 and 160 degrees is achieved. Remove chops from grill and arrange on a platter. Sprinkle fresh herbs generously over meat and serve with sliced jalapenos on the side. Serves 4. “Home with the Lost Italian” is a weekly column written by Sarah Nasello featuring recipes by her husband, Tony Nasello. The couple owned Sarello’s in Moorhead and lives in Fargo with their son, Giovanni. Readers can reach them at sarahnasello@ gmail.com.
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July 2021
Mending power of nature Healing garden can reduce stress and improve well-being Growing Together BY DON KINZLER Gardening Columnist By Don Kinzler Why is gardening so popular? Homegrown vegetables, delightful flowers and pleasant landscapes might be reason enough, but our affinity for nature apparently goes much deeper, and a Fargo clinic’s healing garden is fostering the connection. Our love of nature might be hardwired into our genes. Researchers studying the healing effects of gardens theorize that humans respond favorably to nature because we evolved with nature. Nature has been good to humans, feeding and clothing us, creating an ingrained bond. As an example of that bond, the University of Minnesota reports that after a stressful event, images of nature quickly produce a calming effect. Within three to four minutes after viewing nature, blood pressure, respiration rate, brain activity and stress hormones all decrease, and mood improves. How can these benefits be cultivated? Healing gardens are an increasingly popular way.
What is a healing garden? The term is used for a space purposely planned and planted by a health care facility to provide a place of refuge and promote healing in patients, families and staff. The space can give relief from symptoms, reduce stress and improve overall sense of well-being and hopefulness, according to the University of Minnesota. Dr. Angela Cavett is developing just such a healing garden at the counseling office of Chrysalis Behavioral Health Services and Training Center in south Fargo, North Dakota. The gardens physically got started just two summers ago, but are already beautiful and highly utilized. Cavett says her idea to create a healing garden comes from a concept that goes back thousands of years and across cultures. She adds, “There’s slowly beginning to be a movement toward having gardens as part of hospitals, schools and prisons.” Cavett’s love of gardening began when she was a child. “My
grandma, Luella Potter, Elliot, N.D., gardened and included me in that experience. Her gardens were so very healing to her and all who knew her. “When, as a midcareer psychologist, I started thinking about what REALLY helps people when they are in emotional crises or when they are grieving or when they need to process trauma, I realize my training in evidence-based practice is extremely important and yet things like gardens, yoga, drumming, and cooking all contribute as well. “At Chrysalis, I want the healing garden to be part of that vision of creating a sacred place where people come. The • FULL SERVICE CONSTRUCTION • CONCRETE/MASONRY
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gardens feel safe for those who may not easily experience the feeling of safety.” The clinic’s healing garden actually is four separate gardens, which Cavett calls rooms, each with a special purpose. One is a spiritual garden which includes a labyrinth and contemplation bench. A second garden room is for groups of people such as suicide survivors. This garden has apple trees, blueberries and a stretch of blackeyed Susans. Cavett says, “The seating is super comfy in this area so that people feel that being together in the space will be relaxing
while they connect.” The third room is the butterfly garden which includes a small patio with rocking benches facing each other surrounded by perennial flowers and shrubs. Cavett says, “This space is ideal for couples therapy or grief work or any time an intimate space is needed to connect with another person in a natural setting.” The fourth garden room includes many things, and Cavett calls
it the Active and Sensory Garden. It contains a butterfly nursery with milkweed, a shed with games to play, a sensory garden, raspberry patch and a playground. One corner has lilacs planted in a half circle and as the lilacs grow, children will have a semi-contained, fortlike space in which to feel safe. There are benches and a large swing for couples or parent and child.
MENDING: Page 6
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Too sad to celebrate – is that a bad thing? The Family Circle BY LAUREL HED Columnist By Laurel Hed THE FAMILY CIRCLE Holidays can be difficult for many reasons. Family stress, financial struggles, and for some, the loss of a loved one bring on loneliness and memories of what used to be. There once was a lady whose spouse died right before the holidays. She told her family she couldn’t handle celebrating any of the holidays and was going to go on a threemonth vacation. While she was gone, she was so surprised and thankful at how well she was doing. Not much crying or even thinking of her spouse. When she returned home and walked in the door, she found herself right back to the day her spouse had died. She had to start at day one to begin her grief work. This is a difficult
D LI
time for everybody, so be kind to yourself. It takes time to adjust to your new normal. Some ways that may be helpful is to change things up. If you always hosted the holidays, it may be time to pass the baton to the next generation. Or, if you don’t feel ready to do that, then ask for help. Make time to rest and reflect on how you are doing and feeling. The more a person “stuffs” their feelings the easier it is to slip into depression. Some people like to use symbols and/or reminders of the one who has passed. Some have a special place where they have a picture and a lit candle. Others leave an empty chair at the table or take time during the holiday to share memories. It is important to keep their loved one’s memory alive and to
encourage family to do the same. Now, not all families have happy memories of the person who has passed, which can lead to a much more stressful grieving time. In a case like this, for some families, they have each person write a letter to the one who has passed away. They say what has caused them sadness and/or anger. After everyone has written their letter they are collected and burned. This helps to represent “letting go” of any hurts, anger, sadness and helps them
move past and start the grieving process. The main message is to remember to be patient and gentle with yourself. You are a special, unique person who needs to go through this journey called grief and you must do what works best for you. The holidays/celebrations will go on with or without your usual way of doing things and that is ok. Laurel Hed is a licensed social worker and geriatric care manager for Thomason Swanson and Zahn Law Firm.
MENDING From Page 6
The gardens are well utilized, and Cavett says, “We take individual clients into the gardens throughout the day, as well as groups throughout the summer, including suicide survivors, a group for those impacted by infertility, a loss and grief group, a neuroscience-informed parenting group and a mindfulness meditation group.” To protect confidentiality of patients, the
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clinic doesn’t allow the public free access to the gardens, but Cavett often gives tours when contacted. “It seems someone wants to tour the gardens most weekend days of the summer,” Cavett adds. More information about Chrysalis Behavioral Health Services can be found on their website https://www.chrysalispc. com/.
Creating home for older adults where they choose to live.
7
July 2021
ADOBE STOCK
How to pick the best place to retire By Jim Miller The Savvy Senior
D
ear Savvy Senior, My husband and I will both be retiring in a few years and are interested in relocating to a warmer climate but could use some help. What resources can you recommend for locating and researching good places to retire in the U.S.? ~ Retiring at 65 Dear Retiring, If you’re interested in relocating when you retire, like millions of other Baby Boomers, there are a wide variety of books and online resources that can help you find and research a new location that meet your wants, needs and budget. Here are several to help you get started. If you’re at the beginning of your search, a good starting point is to take the “Find Your Best Place” retirement quiz at Sperling’s Best Places (BestPlaces.net/ fybp). This free quiz asks 10-questions on your preferences such as climate, recreation, community size and more, and suggests possible destinations that match your answers. MarketWatch also has a new matchmaking tool called, “Where’s the best place for me to retire?” at MarketWatch.com/graphics/
best-place-to-retire/. Media resources like U.S. News & World Report, Kiplinger’s, Forbes and Money Magazine also publish “best places to retire” lists on their websites each year. And be sure you check out Milken’s “Best Cities for Successful Aging” (SuccessfulAging.MilkenInstitute. org), which ranks 381 U.S. metropolitan areas based on factors that are important to older adults. You should also consider getting a copy of “America’s 100 Best Places to Retire” (the sixth edition book; $25 at Amazon.com) that looks at a range of destinations, and groups some in categories like best college towns, mountain towns, undiscovered towns and main street towns. Once you find a few areas that interest you, your next step is research them. Here are some important areas you need to investigate.
Cost of living
Can you afford to live comfortably in the location where you want to retire? Numbeo. com and BestPlaces.net offers tools to compare the cost of living from your current location to where you would like
The Savvy Senior BY JIM MILLER Columnist to move. They compare housing costs, food, utilities, transportation and more.
Taxes
Some states are more tax friendly than others. If you’re planning to move to another state, Kiplinger’s has a tax guide for retirees at Kiplinger.com/links/ retireetaxmap that lets you find and compare taxes state-bystate. It covers income taxes, sales tax, taxes on retirement income, Social Security benefits taxes, property taxes, and inheritance and estate taxes.
Crime rate
To evaluate how safe a community or area is, websites like AreaVibes. com provide crime data for certain localities.
Climate
To research the climate in the areas you’re interested in moving, Sperling’s Best Places is again a great resource that offers a climate/ weather compare tool BestPlaces.net/climate.
Healthcare
Does the area you want to relocate have easy access to good healthcare? To locate and research doctors and hospitals in a new area, use Medicare’s compare tool at Medicare.gov/care-compare. Also see Healthgrades. com, which provides detailed information on U.S. hospitals and doctors.
Transportation
If you plan to travel much, or expect frequent visits from your kids or grandkids, convenient access to an airport or train station is a nice advantage. You should also investigate alternative transportation options, since most retirees give up driving in their eighties. To do this visit RidesInSight. org, a free website that provides information
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about senior transportation options in local communities throughout the U.S. Once you have narrowed your choices down to two or three, spend a couple weeks in each location at different times of the year so you can get a feel for the seasonal weather changes, and so you can carefully weigh the pros and cons of living there.
You may find that you like the area more as a vacation spot than as a year-round residence. It’s also a good idea to rent for a year before buying a home or making a commitment to a retirement community. Send your senior questions to Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070 or visit SavvySenior.org. Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book.
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Grief over a death can hit again years later By Carol Bradley Bursack Dear Carol: Both of my parents died in late 2019. My dad had a stroke that completely overwhelmed his body, so he died quickly. Everyone in the family knew that if he’d had a choice between death and being left paralyzed, he’d have chosen to die the way he did. We grieved deeply but remembering this helped most of us cope. Mom, though, was devastated. I know that it’s different when people lose a spouse, but she just couldn’t get a grip. Her health had been pretty decent, but two months after Dad died, her heart gave out. We think she just gave up because she
LET'S GO FISHING From Page 1
Let’s Go Fishing is a statewide program with about 17 pontoons on the water throughout Minnesota, he noted. The Park Rapids chapter offers a pleasant 2-hour cruise. Fishing trips typically take three hours. Krabbenhoft has arranged seven cruises for her clients. “We had a couple of gentlemen that had not been out fishing in 15, 20 years, and watching them reel in a little perch and the joy on their faces was indescribable,” she recalled. Richie DuPont has been on a fishing expedition as well. “I caught the only fish,” he said, indicating it was a puny one. He still enjoyed being out on the water. Let’s Go Fishing is supported entirely by donations and corporate sponsors. Luckeroth said there are currently 12 to 14
Minding Our Elders BY CAROL BRADLEY BURSACK Columnist wanted to be with Dad. Again, my siblings and I moved forward with life, knowing that our parents were together now. The reason I’m writing nearly two years later is that I’ve suddenly been hit with enormous waves of grief over losing them both. What’s up with this? — SN. Dear SN: You have my sympathy and understanding. I believe that your situation isn’t all
that rare. I hear about it often from readers, and it happened to me, as well. My timeframe was similar to yours but I’m not sure that’s relevant. What happened to me was that one ordinary day as I walked down the same hallway at work that I routinely walked, a wave of enormous grief over losing my parents swept over me. The experience was both physical and emo-
sponsors who contribute $250 each to cover operational expenses. Eventually, the pontoon will need to be replaced, so the chapter has started a capital fund to raise roughly $40,000. The Shell Prairie Agriculture Association grants free storage space over the winter. Unfortunately, a depth finder was stolen from the pontoon sometime within the last year. A few years ago, a canopy was stolen on another occasion when the pontoon was on display. Norenberg said that has been discouraging for the all-volunteer club. To make a donation, send a check to Let’s Go Fishing – Headwaters, P.O. Box 243, Park Rapids, MN 56470. Let’s Go Fishing is in need of volunteers to staff the pontoon rides. Norenberg quipped that the qualifications are being able “to walk and talk.” “It’s a desire to be out with groups and visit. It’s just a social time is
what it is for most of us,” he said, noting he could be a passenger, not a guide. Luckeroth said they currently have 25 active volunteers. Since cruises are held during the day, he said, many volunteers are retired. A volunteer form is available at their website at https://headwaters.lgfws.com. Background checks are completed. Luckeroth said the club plans to host four cruises a week. Voyages alternate between Fish Hook, Mantrap and Long lakes in Park Rapids and Belle Taine in Nevis. To book a trip, go online to https://headwaters.lgfws.com/ make-an-appointment-2.
tional. This happened exactly two years since the death of my mother, which had occurred five months after my dad died. That hard wave didn’t last, but the feeling of grief did take time to dissipate. My feelings are that nature — or God — allows us some superficial denial as we process things in our subconscious. When someone dies, we have to get on with dealing with the aftermath. Telling others what happened. Cleaning out homes or nursing home rooms. Juggling the legal work that follows a death. On and on. Then, one day down the road, our defenses allow the reality of what we’ve lost to set-
tle in. I don’t know your circumstances, but I had become in essence what my sister termed the “family matriarch.” Wow! That was eye-opening. Even if you have older adults left in your family, you’ve still lost that layer of a generation above you. True, you were in the position of protector and caregiver for the last years, but that doesn’t take away the fact that your parents were always your parents. They were still there as the “protective” emotional layer between you and whatever is beyond. This is your time to truly heal, SN. Likely as not, you’ll experience
more waves of grief, but they will lessen with time. If they don’t, going to a grief support group or grief counseling may be in order. Specialists can help you learn to move on with your life. My condolences to you as you process this enormous double loss that has shifted your place in the universe. Carol Bradley Bursack is a veteran caregiver and an established columnist. She is also a blogger, and the author of “Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.” Bradley Bursack hosts a website supporting caregivers and elders at www.mindingourelders. com. She can be reached through the contact form on her website.
SHANNON GEISEN / ENTERPRISE
Passengers enjoy a cruise on Fish Hook Lake in Park Rapids, thanks to the Headwaters chapter of Let's Go Fishing.
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First mate Fred Luckeroth and captain Ron Norenberg chat with passengers on a mid-June cruise.
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