Parenting 2020

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Park Rapids Enterprise

Saturday, April 11, 2020 13

Licensed school psychologist Laura Baum-Parr recommends that families “share a meal, three stars and a wish” while sheltering at home.

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Strengthening family life during COVID-19 ► Turn off the TV. “Parents don’t realize kids are hearing and seeing As a licensed school psychologist what’s on the news too and being working with students in pre-K through impacted,” she said. “Adults who want high school in both the Nevis and to stay informed should check a reliable website no more than once a day.” Walker-Hackensack-Akeley districts, ► Keep consistent routines. “When Laura Baum-Parr shares some insights adults feel stressed, many times routo help children deal with stressful sittines go out the window,” Baum-Parr uations like the current pandemic. said. “Children find a sense of security “Children, especially younger chil- and safety through routines, so families dren, are stress barometers,” she said. should make a concerted effort to stick “They reflect the stress of adults around to their routines: a regular time to wake them and look to the significant adults up, school time for those doing distance in their lives for safety and security. If learning and eating meals at regular younger children feel stressed, they’re times together. more likely to act out. Sometimes we ► Share a meal, three stars and a think they are misbehaving, but they wish. “Studies have shown that chilare trying to manage their stress.” dren from families that eat together on

a regular basis have much less anxiety,” she said. “If a family wants to get back on track, one of the best things they can do while sheltering in at home is to encourage everyone to help prepare and eat a meal together. During the evening meal, ask everyone to share three stars and a wish. The three stars are three good things that happened today. And the wish is one thing you wish would have gone differently. The answer to that question will give parents a whole lot of information about what’s going on in a child’s mind. It may also help reveal concerns the child has.” ► Give children roots and wings. “Roots are your sense of identity,”

Nevis Elementary School social worker Krista Platz has these tips to encourage their kids to do to stay connected through social media and sharing videos: ► TicTok dance and activity challenges ► Sharing photos with friends of theme days or dress-up days ► Posting daily highlights ► Doing home science projects using kitchen supplies ► Sharing a “best slime” recipe ► A Lego creation challenge ► Creative activities and art projects with random supplies ► DIY “beauty hacks” or face mask photos ► Sidewalk or driveway chalk drawings ► “Happy birthday” posts ► Play-dough creations

FAMILY: Page 14

Stay-at-home strategies for parents By Michelle Fritze Interventionist, Century Middle School I remember playing the game of LIFE as a kid. The spinner would spin so fast it would just fly off the board. When that would happen, we would have to stop and reset the board. Now, as life itself may be spinning with added stressors of distance learning, financial changes, and staying healthy in the midst of COVID-19. We can end up feeling like that spinner — feeling out of control and ready to fly off the board. So, here are a few tips that may be helpful for you and your child(ren) in this crazy game of life we are actually living.

Stop and reset

Breathe. Seriously, just breathe. When life is overwhelming, stop and take 5-7 deep breaths. This will get your body back to a calm rhythm. Deep breath-

ing calms our brains and bodies so we are better able to navigate what life spins at us. Once calm, we can reset. A healthy reset begins by identifying the things you can control, rather than what you can’t. Making a list or handwriting a new schedule can be an excellent tool in this process.

Name some emotions

Fear is one of the first human responses to the unknown. Another uncomfortable feeling that you may not have recognized is grief. Over the last few weeks the unknown seems to have taken over, like an elephant in your living room. Changes and choices have been made for both you and your child that neither of you asked for nor expected. You and your child may be grieving the loss of connections, of schedule, of resources, of

plans. Fear and grief may be expressed in anxiousness or jittery feelings, anger, isolation, loss of interest in things they used to enjoy, stomach aches, headaches, heart pounding and even sweating palms. These are normal responses. So often, we try to ignore it — like the elephant — but it won’t just go away. It is reasonable to have some fears in this time of COVID-19 and change. Remember, your child shares that living roomelephant and all, so acknowledge the elephant in the room daily.

As many local parents are learning, concerns about the pandemic and the adjustment to distance learning can bring social and behavioral issues to the surface. Stellher Human Services employee Casey Swenson, who serves as an elementary interventionist at Century School, recommended that children spend as much time as possible outside and exercise frequently. “If they can do any of their homework outside, it changes the atmosphere and makes it more enjoyable,” she said. “Scheduling fun brain breaks throughout the day, as a family, such as dancing, singing, puzzles or playing a game of cards, can help reduce the stress they might be experiencing.” To stave off meltdowns, Swenson said, “the best thing to do is take frequent breaks. Try your best to make their

that how we talk about it is as important as what we say. ► Acknowledge that fear is there. Ask them open-ended questions like, “What do you think about all that’s going on?” ► Focus on the facts, not fears. Refer to legitimate sites, like the cdc.gov, rather than media posts and hearsay.

STRATEGIES: Page 14

► Establish a daily routine and stick to it. A handwritten schedule can work wonders. ► Set boundaries and expectations. Have a family meeting and work together to determine house rules and limits — for example, screen limits for both parents and kids. ► Find family time. Make time to connect, play and laugh as a family. ► Encourage empathy and compassion. Find things to do for others.

Focus on facts, not fear

One problem that impacts parents and children alike is that when we are fearful, we tend to focus on the negative. Continually focusing on the negative can be detrimen-

Swenson shares coping hints for elemenatary-age kids By Robin Fish rfish@parkrapidsenterprise.com

tal. It spreads. Our children absorb our fears and emotions while trying to process their own. So, how do we help our children? We remember that their reaction will be largely determined by how we process our fear. We can’t ignore the fear, but we don’t want it to control us. The best way to help our students, our kids, thrive in the midst of the unknown is to remember

QUICK TIPS FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL PARENTS

schoolwork fun and exciting. Provide rewards when your child is compliant, such as a sticker on a chart towards something they are wanting. Using phrases like, ‘I can see that you are mad right now. How can I help you? What do you need from me?’” Swenson advised journaling five things you are grateful for every day, to help keep your focus on the positives. If parents are struggling to manage, Swenson urges them to contact their child’s teacher “to brainstorm different solutions to set you up for success. They can do their best to accommodate and work with you, however you might need. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.” “If your child is experiencing negative self-talk, or seems more anxious or depressed,” she added, “reach out to your local mental health agencies. Therapists and mental health staff are able to meet with your child virtually.”

Family Home Visiting Working together to build a secure foundation for babies and their families… All parents want the best for their children, and we know you are one of those parents! As you watch your child grow, our Healthy Families program provides the support and encouragement you need every step of the way.

The program is free, but rich in benefits. Not only will you get the support during your pregnancy and early years of parenting, you will get ideas about how to care for and play with your baby. There will be information to let you know how your baby is growing and developing, and we will help you to create a safe and caring home for your child.

How do you get started? We first want to learn about you, and we will come to your home at a convenient time to hear your story. From there, it’s as easy as 1-2-3. 1. A Public Health Nurse will schedule an intake visit with you. 2. You will meet your family support specialist. 3. Visits will begin. Don’t worry…. Visits will be held at your home and at a time just right for you and your family.

Healthy Families

By Lorie Skarpness lskarpness@enterprise.com

This unique program is free for qualifying participants. For more information about the Healthy Families program, contact your Hubbard County team at 218.255.1272


Park Rapids Enterprise

14 Saturday, April 11, 2020

At-risk students may need more attention, Johnson says By Robin Fish rfish@parkrapidsenterprise.com Shaun Johnson is social emotional learning (SEL) coordinator at Century Middle School and Park Rapids Area High School. Her work focuses on vulnerable, or at-risk, students — a group that, in this time of COVID-19, social isolation and distance learning, could feel more strain than usual. “They’re probably going to see some behavioral issues,” Johnson said. “They may be irritable. Maybe they’re more aggressive to a sibling or someone, kind of snappy and short-fused, where they’re normally not. It could be a change in eating or sleeping pattern. Also, anxiety sometimes can be presented in more physical things, like stomach aches, headaches.” She said the current situation could elevate pre-existing issues, such as traumatic experiences, family loss or family instability. To reduce these anxieties, she said, “I would recommend pulling back on what they’re exposed to on social media or the news or in personal conversations. I would monitor the amount of news that they’re absorbing or listening to or overhearing, talking to the kids about their fears and being supportive.” In addition to keeping a consistent, daily schedule, Johnson recommends kids get outside and get physical exercise.

Journaling prompts

Also, Johnson said, “journaling is helpful for some kids. It’s kind of knowing what your kid responds to, whether it’s physical, playing a game, journaling, coloring, meditation. Some of them do yoga.” Sometimes, she said, it may help to journal what you’re anxious or worried about, “being able to crumple up that piece of paper and throw it away. Or it’s journaling about getting your mind off of it, so you’re journaling about something you would enjoy.”

call with grandma, so they know they’re OK.” Every meltdown is different, she adds. It’s good to know what helps each individual kid calm down.

Good conversations

The COVID-19 cloud may have a silver lining. With parents and teens spending more time together, it may provide a rare opportunity for them to have open-ended conversations. “It’s just making sure that their feelings are validated,” said Johnson. “‘Yeah, I understand that. We’re all nervous.’ Having those Getting calmed down conversations. It sometimes helps In the event of an emotional to hear about something you’ve meltdown, Johnson says the first dealt with. ‘Yeah, we kind of went priority is to calm the child down. through a similar thing when I Ask them to take deep breaths and was your age, and this happened.’ ask them open-ended questions Then they can see, ‘Look, we were like, “What are you feeling right able to get through it.’” now?” Tell them you understand Meantime, physical distancing that they’re upset. Maybe take needn’t mean social isolation. them outside for a walk. Know that it can take up to 30 minutes Johnson noted there are different applications on phones and for some kids to calm down. “Once they’re kind of calm, Google. She encourages parents it’s about talking to them in a to allow kids to visit with their calm voice,” she said. “‘Can you friends. In conclusion, she said, partell me what brought this on?’ ... ents and students who are feeling Maybe they’re not understanding the assignment they’re given for stressed can always call the school school, because for some, distance and reach out to her, middle school learning is tough. All kids learn interventionist Michelle Fritze or differently. ... It could be they’re elementary interventionist Casey stressed out about grandma. It Swenson for help. “That’s what could be, maybe, a quick phone we’re here for,” said Johnson.

STRATEGIES

► BrainPOP coronavirus mini-lesson for elementary students: www. brainpop.com/health/diseasesinjuriesandconditions/coronavirus ► NPR Just for Kids: “Exploring The New Coronavirus” comic for all students and parents: www.npr.org/sections/ goatsandsoda/2020/02/28/809580453/just-for-kids-acomic-exploring-thenew-coronavirus ► “Talking to Your Children About Coronavirus” parent article, also available in Spanish: www.rockbrookcamp.com/blog/conversation-starters-topics

SEL and stress management

► GoZen videos, lessons and programs for purchase to manage stress and build resilience for kids: gozen.com/allprograms ► Smiling Mind: www.smilingmind.com.au. Johnson says it’s “a great mindfulness app/website for the whole family. Many use Smiling Mind in class as a way to help calm and focus their brains and bodies.” ► Cosmic Kids yoga and mindfulness for kids: www.youtube.com/user/ CosmicKidsYoga. “This is a great resource,” says Johnson. “I use this for my Mindful Morning small group sessions.” ► ClassDojo SEL mini-lessons, some available on YouTube as well: ideas. classdojo.com

Podcasts for children, parents and adults

► Peace Out, short stories that help kids calm down and relax: bedtime.fm/ peaceout ► Eight wonderful podcasts on the topic of anxiety: www.calmer-you.com/ feelinganxious-or-worried-listen-to-these-8-podcasts/ ► Social Skill Book Resources: https://www.storylineonline.net. Johnson says this website includes SEL materials and read-aloud books, some of which may also be on YouTube. ► More read-aloud books are at https://www.getepic.com.

Books to read during the COVID-19 outbreak

► “Something Bad Happened: A Kid’s Guide to Coping with Events in the News” by Dawn Huebner ► “What To Do When You’re Scared and Worried: A Guide for Kids” by James J. Crist ► “Have You Filled A Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids” by Carol McCloud ► “How are you Peeling?: Foods with Moods” by Saxton Freymann and Joost Elffers ► “The Way I Feel” by Janan Cain ► “A Terrible Thing Happened” by Margaret M Holmes

BrandPoint Media

Every parent knows the struggle of convincing their little ones to eat more nutritious foods. Luckily, by encouraging your kids to get involved in the kitchen, you’re helping them build a solid foundation for healthier food choices. Registered dietitian and nutritionist Dawn Jackson Blatner offers five expert tips to get kids involved in making healthy family meals: ► Let the kids pick the recipe. Flip through a healthy cookbook and see which recipes the kids are interested in making. This is a good way to get kids involved in selecting healthier recipes or new food flavors, and because they helped choose, they will be more invested in trying these foods when you cook them. ► Take family trips to the grocery store. Head to the store and select nutritious ingredi-

tell me they don’t have any jobs to do at home. One task of the family is helping children experience the value of sacrificing for the greater good. This is what chores do. They learn they can’t play until they do their jobs that help the whole family. Many kids are involved in so many extra-curricular activities they don’t have any chores. When you’re all sheltered in, there’s no better time to reinstate family chores. ► Limit screen time. Violent video games increase fears in children and should be reduced and gradually phased out. “Some kids are addicted to these games, but you can decrease it day by day,” she said. “With any screen time, set limits and encourage other activities.” ► Plan ways to make working at home successful. Parents who are working at home may be able to have an older child watch a younger sibling for an hour or two so they can make conference calls. “Life is messy and we do have obligations,” she said. “There may be times that a movie is what needs to

happen for parents to have time to focus on their work in peace and quiet. It’s really about balance and planning. Parents need to determine blocks of time when they can’t be interrupted in order to get their work done and plan for that.” ► Help children feel a sense of control. “Give them something to do to help,” she said. “For example, talk to them about the importance of washing their hands and covering their mouth to help keep the family healthy and safe. The other thing is to give them ways to help others. Write letters or draw pictures to send to family members who live far away to bring joy to them. That’s a wonderful way for kids to feel like they’re making a difference. The sense of helping is innate in us. It’s one of the best ways to alleviate depression, by focusing on others. It’s a part of good mental health.” ► Deal with financial stress. Reach out to programs that might be able to help. “There are food banks around, and other

Self-care comes first

upset the parent further, resulting in added grief, fear, or guilt – which was never the child’s to carry. So, parents, breathe. Whether it is the virus or trying to understand their math problem, take a breath and accept that emotions may rise. Listen, focusing on facts with empathy and patience. And lastly, remember, we get through unknowns and challenges together.

When riding in a plane From Page 13 with a child, passengers are told that if the cabin loses pressure to put on ► Talk with them about your own mask on first the good that is happenso that you are able to ing. Find stories and posts help your child. I believe of positivity that people the same concept is true have done to inspire and in our homes during this help people during this time. time. Remind them that Sadly, children often 91 percent of people who worry about expressget the virus survive with ing their fears because mild symptoms. they think doing so will

resources and programs,” she said. The Family Safety Network of Walker and Park Rapids offers a 24-hour crisis line answered by trained volunteers at 800324-8151.

ents for recipes, meals and snacks. You can even let the kids help craft the grocery list and search for ingredients while you shop. To introduce new foods, set a goal to select one new food to try at each visit and head home to have a fun tasting. ► Make their favorite foods with better-for-you ingredients. Keep kids’ favorites like pizza, burgers, fries, tacos, muffins and pancakes on the menu, but just choose healthier ingredients. ► Cook as a family. Kids adore helping in the kitchen, so have them wash their hands and pull up

a chair when it’s time to cook. Older kids can help with tasks like rinsing vegetables, chopping foods, measuring ingredients and cracking eggs. Younger children love to help mix, stir and do other simple tasks like using a pastry brush to spread oil. ► Make it fun. Put on some music when you cook and enjoy the quality time together. Make your meals special by lighting candles or using nice glasses. Create your own original recipe and come up with a fun name for it. This article is courtesy of BrandPoint Media.

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she said. “Roots show who you are, what you do as a family and what you value. Wings has to do with resiliency and someday becoming successful and independent.” Rituals and traditions are a big part of both roots and wings. “As much as possible during this time you want to keep those traditions in place,” she said. “If Friday night has always been a family movie night, make some popcorn and keep that going. Choose a funny movie because we know laughter and humor is one of the best ways to reduce anxiety. While you’re sheltered in, this is also a good time to start new traditions. Put a puzzle together, go for walks outside, or have a family game night. If the family has a faith tradition, do a prayer time at home. ► Have children help at home. “Giving children chores and responsibilities is super important,” she said. “This is something that we’ve lost. Many kids

COVID-19 resources and mini-lessons

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2 eggs (large) 1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 cup sugar 1/2 tsp. baking powder 1/2 tsp. baking soda 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon 1/2 tsp. salt 1/2 cup butter, melted 1 medium (2 cups) zucchini, shredded Heat oven to 350 degrees. Place paper baking cups into 12 muffin pan cups; set aside. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt in bowl; mix well. Combine butter and eggs in bowl; stir into flour mixture just until moistened. Stir in zucchini. Fill prepared muffin pan cups three-fourths full with batter. Bake 22-25 minutes or until toothpick inserted into center comes out clean. Cool 5 minutes in pan; remove to cooling rack.

From Page 13

Shaun Johnson, social emotional learning (SEL) coordinator at Century Middle School and Park Rapids Area High School, recommends the following helps for parents guiding their children through this time of social isolation, distance learning and fears of COVID-19.

5 ways to get kids to eat healthier

ZUCCHINI MUFFINS

FAMILY

HELPFUL RESOURCES FOR SCHOOLING AT HOME

15357 Hwy. 71, Park Rapids • 732-1461

Keeping it Healthy

CHILDREN, TEENS and YOUNG ADULTS Birth through age 20 How often should I take my child for a well child visit?

Checkups are recommended at these ages:

• Between Birth and 1 month • At 2, 4, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 24 and 30 months • Every year starting at 3 years through 20 years • More often if needed

Talk with your healthcar e provider about questions and concerns you have. For more information or help finding a health care provider, dental provider or clinic call your county’s Child andTeen Checkups (C&TC) contact at: Clearwater County- Clearwater County Nursing Services 218.694.6581 Hubbard County- CHI St. Joseph’s Health Community Health 218.237.5478 Lake of the Woods County- Lakewood Public Health 218.634.1795

Medical Assistance pays for Child and Teen Checkups (C&TC) and dental services.


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