8 November 2011
Three Days in May | Real Estate | Mark Rothko | Human Centipede II | Shoreditch Markets | A British Subject | LSEx | Private B
2Theatre
Tuesday 8 November 2011 | PartB
PartB Editors Aameer Patel Kerry-Rose O’Donnell partb@thebeaveronline.co.uk
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Fashion Editor Emma Beaumont partb-fashion@thebeaveronline.co.uk
Film Editor Aameer Patel partb-film@thebeaveronline.co.uk
Food Editor Max Jenkins partb-food@thebeaveronline.co.uk
Literature Editor Rachel Holmes
partb-literature@thebeaveronline.co.uk
LSEx Editor Susie Winchester
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Music Editor Ankur Vora partb-music@thebeaveronline.co.uk
Private B Editor Jack Tindale partb@thebeaveronline.co.uk
Theatre Editors Rory Creedon Hannah Payne partb-theatre@thebeaveronline.co.uk
TV Editor Rasha Al-Dabagh
Three Days in May, Trafalgar Studios Director: Alan Strachan Playwright: Ben Brown Key cast: Warren Clarke, Robert Demeger, Jeremy Clyde At Trafalgar Studios until 3 March 2012
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nlike the current Tory-Liberal coalition that more or less openly bickers, Winston Churchill as the new leader of the Conservative-Labour coalition of 1940 strove tirelessly to present a united front to the war-torn British public. When faced in May of that same year with an imminent French capitulation and a crushing defeat for Britain at Dunkirk the decision to continue the war appeared the only option seriously considered by a war cabinet all in agreement that the best way to preserve the British way of life was to fight. Yet in reality there was a deep division; serious consideration was given to a French initiative to approach Hitler for terms of a peace settlement, and while Churchill was initially in support of the proposal, he eventually came to see it as at best futile and at worst self-destructive. This created a rift between his Tory war cabinet colleagues, Lord Halifax and Neville Chamberlain, who argued for peace, and his Labour ministers Clement Attlee and Arthur Greenwood, who supported Churchill’s belligerence. Ben Brown’s Three Days in May takes us inside No. 10 Downing Street, and into the War Cabinet meetings, over the three days in which the historic decision to stand or surrender was taken. The script itself is magnificent. It conveys brilliantly the mood of the day and is loaded both with the bold political rhetoric of the time, and the subtleties involved in political machinations and manipulations. As such, any production will live or die by the actors that play these key figures in British history, and particularly Churchill. In this regard, Warren Clarke does not disappoint. Importantly, the performance is more than mere caricature or impression of Churchill – it is a character study. Rough, blunt and temperamental, we meet a man different from the poised rhetorical master
KEITH PATTINSON
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Robert Demeger as Neville Chamberlain, Jeremy Hyde as Lord Halifax and Warren Clarke as Winston Churchill that we see in the public appearances led the country to the point of defeat. immensity of this moment and the rethat have survived. Clarke is wracked Initially he supports the plan for peace lief that should have accompanied his with indecision, weighed down and advocated by the glib and slightly support for war was lost somehow, in oppressed by the gravity of the decislimy Lord Halifax (Jeremy Clyde), but a way that cannot be attributed solely sions he must take. We move with him Churchill outmanoeuvres Halifax, and to the audience already knowing the and observe his resolve strengthening, through either persuasion or manipuoutcome. until finally on day three he emerges lation talks Chamberlain into war. The production by director Alan confident and at peace with his agDespite strong individual perform- Strachan is competent, sparse, but not gressive stance, ready to present to the ances the ensemble at times was unhugely exciting. Nevertheless, this public his plan for continued war. derwhelming in conveying the power is a must-see production for anyone Robert Demeger delivers a fanof the situation. In part a problem of interested in seeing a pivotal moment tastic performance as a Chamberlain timing between the actors, it seemed of history brought to life by a team of who contrasts starkly with Clarke’s that they were delivering their own skilled actors. For someone (such as Churchill; he is solidly upright to interpretations without quite engaging this reviewer) not as well steeped in Churchill’s slouch, remaining quiet with those of the others sharing the the details of this period of history, it and calm to Churchill’s irascibilstage. There was a good degree of was a fascinating and riveting educaity. Demeger acts with his eyes such tension between Clarke and Clyde, tion. Despite being normally classed that one gets the impression that but that tension did not spread all as what might be termed a nationalism Chamberlain’s physical composure is around the cabinet table. At the point sceptic, I felt surprisingly proud to be a cover for a man who is lost and terwhen Chamberlain must reveal his British. rified that his once popular, now much support either for war or peace, he is | Rory Creedon maligned policy of appeasement has the lynchpin, the critical voter. Yet the
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Visual Arts Editor Roberta Cucchiaro partb-visualarts@thebeaveronline.co.uk
Web Editor Angie Jude Moneke partb@thebeaveronline.co.uk
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Cover Zoe, 2011
by Joanie Lam of the LSE SU Visual Arts Society PartB uses pictures from Flickr which have been issued under a Creative Commons license.
A British Subject, Arts Theatre Director: Hannah Eidinow Playwright: Nichola McAuliffe Key cast: Shiv Grewal, Kulvinder Khir, Nichola McAuliffe, David Rintoul At Arts Theatre until 26 November 2011
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British Subject is a first-hand account of the struggle to make one man’s story heard. The man in question is Mirza Tahir Hussein (Kulvinder Ghir) of Leeds, unjustly imprisoned in Pakistan for 18 years under sentence of death. Our account is that of actress Nichola McAuliffe, both the playwright and appearing as herself, whose husband Don MacKay (David Rintoul), of the Daily Mirror, uncovers Tahir’s story, which they together fight to change. It is also a comment on faith, rights and injustice and despite the seriousness of both the individual situation and the wider subject matter, is not without its lighter moments. We begin in London, with Nichola and Don’s discussions of work and arguments over parking tickets while he packs to leave. The comedic value of this scene is undeniable with the audience laughing as the exchange is perfectly timed with a combination of personal banter between the two and gentle digs at the press in general. Following Don and the ever- positive brother of Tahir, Amjad (who joined him in Islamabad), we move swiftly between scenes: from the airport, to the bustling streets, to the unsympathetic British High Commission, to the crowds of others trying to enter
RALPH RIPLEY
Video Games Editor Hassan Dar
Kulvindir Khir as Mirza Tahir Hussein the prison and the fly-ridden hell of Tahir’s crowded cell. With little set to speak of, the transportation of the audience is down to intricately descriptive monologues, multi-role play and an atmosphere created by use of sound, that places us vividly in each situation with a pace that reflects the urgency of the case. This is testament both to the writing of McAuliffe and
direction of Hannah Eidinow. The intensity of the play reaches its peak during the first interview with Tahir. He shuffles forward from the bars behind which he has remained throughout clutching a bucket to his chest, like a child might do it with their favourite toy. The resignation to his fate has seemingly left him a broken man but it is his faith, understand-
ing and belief in fair play that shine through most of all, showing wisdom beyond his years and endearing him to the audience. His faith however, is a frustration to Don and a vein that runs throughout the play as parallels are drawn with Nichola’s own avid Roman Catholicism, as she remains at home praying to Saint Jude for help. From this point onwards, it feels like a downhill slope to the end when ultimately, after numerous phone calls and the “polite indifference” of many contacts, the involvement of Prince Charles leads to the return of Tahir to his family in the UK. The play is notably well performed by all involved, particularly by Kulvinder Ghir whose portrayal of Tahir is both moving and thought-provoking. Furthermore, David Rintoul appears both as blustering Don Mckay and, briefly, as an amusing Prince Charles. A British Subject is ultimately a play about justice and injustice, yet while the subject matter is intense and the seriousness of the situation is grave, the humour running throughout provides respite to the questions of faith, rights and activism that are thrown up without taking away from their importance. With Tahir’s final words, we are reminded of all the others that no one will stand up for and how we so easily push them to the back of our minds. The message is clear and is undoubtedly one we ought to remind ourselves of. | Hannah Payne
Music3
PartB | Tuesday 8 November 2011
New Album: Days – Real Estate R eal Estate’s self-titled debut was remarkably coherent, especially considering that it was a collection of songs crafted over a number of years in varying contexts. Their follow-up is the result of a dedicated and slow process: Real Estate have never been associated with haste, and these songs very much reflect the languid and mellow context in which they were created. The New Jersey band’s music evokes memories of childhood innocence, when life is free of the burdens of adult responsibility. In this vein, the album opener is called “Easy” and it’s got that same breezy feeling that all of the best Real Estate songs have, where it feels like this stuff pours out of them with minimal exertion. Everything on the new album is a little cleaner than before: the guitars chime and sparkle,
ringing out with a sticky glint, the drums are neat and crisp, and the vocals, whilst still drenched in reverb, don’t feel suffocated by the effect. Though the album might feel untroubled with references to carefree simplicity throughout, it certainly isn’t minimal. The guitar riffs tumble off one another atop rolling drum patterns and echoing choruses of backing vocals. Yet it never feels excessive, no note feels wasted, and nothing happens in the wrong place or the wrong time. It’s dedicated to understatement, and more concerned with conveying feeling rather than showing off. Lyrically, Days captures the essence of nonchalance. “Green Aisles” talks of “all those wasted miles / all those aimless drives” yet notes that “our careless lifestyle / it was not so unwise.” The melodies are wistful,
but the lyrics are calm and laid back, evoking the sound and tone of early R.E.M, or the jangly hooks of The Byrds. These tracks are instantly familiar, providing a warmth that is as comforting yet fleeting as the summer that inspires it. Their simplicity is intentional, and whilst some have labelled it uninspiring, it in fact shows a knack for making the mundane and familiar seem new, unfailingly emotional and achingly romantic. Real Estate make music that sounds contented. It wasn’t made with the mind-set of delving deep down into the recesses of catharsis, but instead with the aim of capturing something nostalgic, pretty and carefree. This might sound like an insult, but we need music for when life’s going reasonably well. | Abu Sharmuta
Imagine… yourself at a Cher Lloyd gig
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es dear readers, I have done the inevitable. I have fallen in love with Cher Lloyd. Her music is so powerful and enigmatic. Listening to it transports you to another dimension where the only emotion you can experience is that of the music. She opens with her superlative inducing cover of Shakespeare’s Sister’s “Stay With Me.” I’m crying. It’s just too good. By the time she reaches the encore, we all know what’s coming. The mood of the audience is reminiscent of the crowd at a fight between
Roman gladiators. We know what we want. We’ve been through the ups, the downs, the game of life and death. Now, as we reach the denouement, it’s time for the main event. Yes, it’s time for “Swagger Jagger.” As the first notes ring out across the vast arena, each member of the audience momentarily falls silent. It’s a powerful celebration of Cher’s music and message. The moment is brief though, and as she opens her mouth to give us one final blast of those perfect and powerful vocal chords, the roar of approval is unbelievable.
The art of a “sound” playlist
With the final note still lingering around the venue, Cher takes her leave, ever the diva. I’ve been left stunned by a performance of poise, precision and beauty. I knew to expect great things before I came tonight, but few could have expected genuine greatness. This is Woodstock, Queen, the Beatles and even the Steps farewell tour rolled in to one. If there’s one goal for your life, make it see the nation’s new sweetheart, Cher Lloyd. | David Jones
For those of us who will never pen our own songs, crafting the perfect playlist may be the closest we will ever get to the creative music process. Perfectly correlating genres, song length, celebrity and obscurity; we want a playlist to transcend its constituent songs, and capture a zeitgeist of our choice. Selecting an appropriate theme does not equal blindly selecting your favourite songs. Indeed, there is a multiplicity of factors which need to come into play. One needs to consider the mood being conveyed: is this a Sunday afternoon playlist appealing to melancholy lost moments and dreams? Or
does this playlist target the causally creative process of making supper? A playlist is the backdrop to the moment, successfully judging the mood will segue nicely in to finding an appropriate title. It should be succinct and enigmatic, much like the title of a song. Finally, the playlist should aim to educate. It should draw pundits in with neon classics to the shy unfamiliar. One should hope that the playlist evokes marvel up the garden path. It should pull back used winter coats to reveal a secret door in the back of your closet. | Alicia Cunningham
PartBeat The office playlist this week… Common Burn Mazzy Star: Common Burn (2011)
Remind SYCO
This week’s live highlights 9 Nov: Girls – Electric Ballroom
Real Estate: Days (2011)
Celestial Terrestrial Commuters Mahavishnu Orchestra: Birds of Fire (1973) Frank Ocean: Nostalgia, Ultra (2011)
Youlogy Shabazz Palaces: Black Up (2011)
Higher Ground
11 Nov: Frank Ocean – XOYO
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Mother’s Milk (1989)
Place to Be MAGNUS ASKE BLIKENG
14 Nov: Cake – Roundhouse
It’s Real
Lovecrimes
10 Nov: The Antlers – KOKO
13, 14 Nov: Rihanna – The O2 Arena
Orbital: Orbital 2 (1993)
Nick Drake: Pink Moon (1972)
Elizabeth Fraser (Cocteau Twins Rework) Star Slinger: Elizabeth Fraser (2010)
The Antlers, 2011
Follow us: @partbmusic
Tuesday 8 November 2011 | PartB
Rothko in Britain M
The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) Director: Tom Six Screenplay: Tom Six Key cast: Laurence R. Harvey, Ashlynn Yennie, Maddi Black Year: 2011 Runtime: 88 minutes In cinemas now
TV Tips for the week
Bounty Films
T
he Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) is presently crawling into cinemas near you. This is a film the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) initially banned without even giving the option of being cut to acceptability. The BBFC has now changed their mind and given it the certificate of 18 after two and a half minutes of cuts. The story follows Martin (Laurence R. Harvey), a bugeyed tubby little man who becomes sexually obsessed with the original Human Centipede film (in the universe of the sequel, the original was released as a film and the antagonist owns it). Sounds great, right? You may remember Harvey from the play The Man With The Absurdly Large Penis or the short film Sex for the Disabled (usually not a good sign). In case you have been fortunate enough to dodge the general plot, the ‘centipede’ is people sewn together in a line. For more a better illustration, see above or consult Google. This film is comparable to the kind of thing that, if you saw on the bottom of your shoe, you’d scrape it off because it smelt bad. Sat in the cinema leading up to the start, I had a sensation analogous to that of being on a roller coaster chain lift: as the enormity of the situation dawned on me, I questioned why I would put myself through such torture. The beginning of the film left me very pleasantly surprised. For the most part, the clichéd acting of the original has been replaced with fairly decent performances. The dialogue isn’t half bad, and the horror tension builds at a more than adequate standard. The mood creation is aided by some very good shooting, showing off black and white horror, as well as good use of sound. If director Tom Six stopped messing about with such an extreme of the genre and a bit
Visual Arts5
PartB | Tuesday 8 November 2011
Martin (Laurence R. Harvey) with a Human Centpede of his creation more with the plot, I’m sure he could produce something decent. As I think I’ve alluded to, this level of film making is only a bit of a phase. The middle and the end are of little merit beyond seeing nasty stuff. The craziness gets to such a level that I perceive this film as a bit of a satire of the genre (and weirdly, the
original), going beyond any realm of sensibility into the depths of stupidity and grossness. I’m pretty resilient to gore, but I have never squirmed so much in my seat in a film before. The relative cleanliness of the surgery performed by Dr Heiter in the original has been replaced by an intellectually challenged man and some DIY.
Plausibility gets stretched past breaking point. The conjoining of satire and horror is a tricky one. There were some laughs produced in the audience. At points I laughed just at the realisation of how awful the following actions were to be. Satire has to be used fairly loosely in this context, however. In reality, The Human
Centipede II is just gross. If that’s what you want, run out and watch it immediately. The cinema experience will stick with you for a while (certainly the following jittery 15 minutes). If you thought the first film was grim, this one is much, much worse.
Remembrance Week
The Simpsons
Bored to Death
Sorority Girls
BBC1 , 21:15, Mondays
Channel 4, 18:00, Fridays
Sky Atlantic, 22:15, Mondays
E4, 21:00, Tuedays
In the run-up to Remembrance Sunday, Gethin Jones travels to Afganistan to honour the soldiers who have fought there. He also celebrates the courage of other servicemen and women who have participated in past conflicts around the world.
It’s the 19th season and we’re still loving the action. In the first episode Lionel Richie arrives in Springfield to serenade Homer for saving Mr Burns from drowning. The hapless hero soon gets an appetite for luxury and hires a life coach to help him achieve his aspirations.
New series. A policeman hires Jonathan to retrieve incriminating evidence from a sex club he frequents. George is horrified when his new boss clamps down on expenses, and Ray makes a desperate bid to salvage his relationship. Comedy starring Jason Schwartzman, Ted Danson and Zach Galifianakis.
Reality show in which young women compete for five places in a female student society being launched in the university city of Leeds by sorority insiders from America. In the first episode, a series of interviews whittles down 50 hopefuls to 20 potential members of the new organisation. They then have to turn on the charm at an evening party.
| Harry Burdon
ark Rothko’s first solo exhibition outside the USA was held in 1961, at the Whitechapel Gallery. The exhibition was momentous: it fundamentally altered the nature of the British art world. This small exhibition, 50 years on, commemorates the first showing of Rothko’s work in the UK and celebrates the artist’s relationship with the country. When Rothko arrived on the shores of Britain, Harold Macmillan’s government was presiding over a post-war country that had recently haemorrhaged its empire and was struggling to control inflation. Far from the swinging sixties, this was a land isolated from the modern evolution of abstract expressionism that had commenced across the Atlantic ten years before. In the corner of the single-room exhibit, an absorbing display cabinet chronicles Rothko’s visit to the country where he formed the relationships that facilitated the 1961 show, in particular with Bryan Robertson, then curator of the gallery. Their correspondence illuminates Rothko’s particularity in managing the space in which his work was to be displayed. A framed, typewritten piece requests a “considerably off white” background so that the walls aren’t “fighting against the pictures.” He wished for the pieces to be displayed as they were painted, not “over-lit or romanticized by spots” and hung as close to the floor as possible, not more than six inches high in some cases. Such a precisely managed environment allowed the visitors to be completely immersed in the world of each painting. Sandra Lousada’s photographs document the reactions of an awestruck British public as they interacted with the pieces for the first time. The world’s galleries continue to showcase momentous works of art from bygone eras but it is a rarity to
see the exact moment when a nation met a movement. The photos may condemn their subjects to an eternity of stillness, but it is not a stretch to imagine the visitors in the flesh, old ladies sprawled on benches and gentlemen leaning on pillars, staying and contemplating the colossal canvasses for an aeon. Critics of the time were seemingly as struck by the offering as the public. Many censured the first exhibition of abstract expressionism in the UK at the Tate in 1956, none more vehemently than David Sylvester, who in 1950 described American abstract art as an inferior imitation of European modern painting. Upon seeing the 1961 exhibit however, he wrote in his New Statesman review that the works were “the complete fulfilment of Van Gogh’s notion of using colour to convey man’s passions.” A unit wired with headphones plays through over an hour of archive audio material. Taped reviews echo Sylvester’s sentiments about the eloquence with which his work speaks whilst recorded interviews reveal intimate details of Rothko’s life; painter Paul Feiler recounts Rothko’s visit to Cornwall to meet artists from the St. Ives School of Art. Nayia Yiakoumaki, the gallery’s current Archive Curator spoke of the “overwhelming effect” that the original exhibition had on people as they ventured into the gallery from the street. Indeed, the Tate’s very definition of abstract expressionism states that it “embodies involving emotional reactions in art, born from the surrealist idea that art should come from the unconscious mind.” In 1959, Rothko intended to elicit such a reaction when he finished painting his Seagram murals to furnish the walls of the Four Seasons restaurant in New York. Ostensibly, he intended to subvert Manhattan’s elite of the 1960s: “I hope to ruin the appetite
of every son of a bitch who ever eats in that room,” he gloated, with paintings that will make those rich bastards “feel that they are trapped in a room where all the doors and windows are bricked up.” Rothko’s exact intentions are unclear, but perhaps upon realising that the works would be nothing more than mere decorations in the dining room of the modern aristocracy, the money from the commission was hastily returned and the paintings donated to the Tate. A display case at the current exhibition records the letters that negotiated this donation, allowing visitors to draw their own conclusions about this mysterious portion of Rothko’s past. The paintings arrived at the Tate on the same day in 1970 that Rothko cut his arms to die in an eight by six foot pool of his blood, a visceral and poignant reminder of the colours and the dimensions of the canvases that he was best known for. The single piece displayed at the Whitechapel, Light Red Over Black (1957), was the first Rothko ever purchased for a British collection, and is an apt choice to focus the minds of visitors on his prowess at the pinnacle of his mature style. Fifty years ago, John Russell commended the original exhibition in his Sunday Times review: “Most rare, mysterious and not to be missed is the experience which greets the visitor to the mark Rothko exhibition.” The Whitechapel’s commemorative offering tastefully opens a new public’s eyes to Rothko’s genius. Rothko in Britain is at Whitechapel Gallery until 26 February 2012. | Shyam Desai
Kate Rothko Prizel & Christopher Rothko ARS, NY and DACS, London
4Film | TV
Mark Rothko, Light Red Over Black, 1957
What’s on: one month until holidays There is only one month left before we start our winter holidays and whether you are going to return home or you are staying in London, there is a list of exhibitions you really want to add to your calendar!
Power of Making at the Victoria & Albert Museum The V&A in partnership with Crafts Council is now celebrating the importance of craftsmanship and making. There are over a hundred
uniquely crafted objects in exhibition, featuring works by both young and established artists using a wide array of skills. The artists combine their imagination with their skills to create crafts that could be used for entertainment, design, medical innovation or are simply an artistic creation to admire. One of the most outstanding works is Michael Rea’s Prosthetic Suit for Stephen Hawking with Japanese Steel. A robot-shaped suit made of wood, the sculpture is dedicated to the world-acclaimed scientist. Since
Hawking is effectively paralysed by motor neurone disease, wearing such a suit would give him the power to take control of his movements and control the world through his intelligence. The exhibition strongly addresses our times, which are characterised by cultural traditions being threatened by the loss of skill and traditional ways of making accumulated over the generations but neglected by the young. By showcasing their works, these artists celebrate the creativity of craftsmanship and the importance not only of the traditional making skills, but also the significance of using new technologies and new ways of working to create crafts that keep up with modern times, and at the same time learn from the skilful artisans of the past. Through this exhibition V&A hopes to introduce new creative ideas and encourage visitors also to use their imagination to create by themselves and be able to say proudly that “I made that!” Power of Making is at the Victoria and Albert Museum until 2 January 2012. * Contemporary Art Museum Virginia Beach
Michael Rea, Prosthetic suit for Stephen Hawking with Japanese Steel, 2007
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Leonardo da Vinci One of the most important exhibitions ever to take place in London opens tomorrow. Leonardo da Vinci: Painter at the Court of Milan is the most complete display of Leonardo’s paintings ever to be seen in London. While previous exhibitions have given priority to his works as an inventor, scientist or draughtsman, this exhibition at The National Gallery focusses
on his works as a court painter to Duke Ludovico Sforza in Milan in the late 1480s and 1490s. Leonardo’s ability to convey ideals of beauty and profound mystery in his choice of colours is perfectly portrayed in this exhibition. This exhibition focussing solely on Leonardo’s paintings in such a specific time frame, which is the first of its kind and brings together works displayed in galleries all around the world. Several of the works on display include La Belle Ferronière (Musée du Louvre, Paris), the Madonna Litta (Hermitage, Saint Petersburg) and Saint Jerome (Pinacoteca Vaticana, Rome). It is definitely an exciting time to be in London and be able to see such a vast collection of paintings in the same exhibition. Leonardo da Vinci: Painter at the Court of Milan runs at The National Gallery from 9 November 2011 to 5 February 2012. *
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Wildlife photography Stunning photographs portraying wildlife like you have probably never seen and never even imagined are now in exhibition at the Natural History Museum. The exhibition displays the works of the winners of the Veolia Environnement Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition. If you are also a wildlife photographer and would like your works to be exhibited in such a famous museum, you can try submitting your photos from 5 December 2011 onwards on the Natural History Museum website and
enter the 2012 competition. You never know, we might be talking about you in PartB next year! The Veolia Environnement Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition is at The Natural History Museum until 11 March 2012. *
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Pipilotti Rist For the first time in the UK, the Hayward Gallery at the Southbank Centre is now exhibiting the first survey of Swiss artist Pipilotti Rist. The exhibition features installations, sculptures, as well as dazzling music and videos covering Rist’s creations from the 1980s to today. The videos in particular are what Rist is most famous for and take up the majority of the exhibition. Video projects run across different surfaces, from the floor to the ceiling, and several cushions on the floor allow visitors to sit together with those moving images and be submerged by the feelings they evoke. Rist’s projections play with space and interact with the viewer through a peculiar music and a game of light. Through this exhibition the imagination of the viewer is put to test and what you will be thinking when you walk out from those exhibition rooms is up to what image your brain has captured and recalls as the most vivid. Pipilotti Rist: Eyeball Massage is at The Hayward, Southbank Centre until 8 January 2012.
Tuesday 8 November 2011 | PartB
Rothko in Britain M
The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) Director: Tom Six Screenplay: Tom Six Key cast: Laurence R. Harvey, Ashlynn Yennie, Maddi Black Year: 2011 Runtime: 88 minutes In cinemas now
TV Tips for the week
Bounty Films
T
he Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) is presently crawling into cinemas near you. This is a film the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) initially banned without even giving the option of being cut to acceptability. The BBFC has now changed their mind and given it the certificate of 18 after two and a half minutes of cuts. The story follows Martin (Laurence R. Harvey), a bugeyed tubby little man who becomes sexually obsessed with the original Human Centipede film (in the universe of the sequel, the original was released as a film and the antagonist owns it). Sounds great, right? You may remember Harvey from the play The Man With The Absurdly Large Penis or the short film Sex for the Disabled (usually not a good sign). In case you have been fortunate enough to dodge the general plot, the ‘centipede’ is people sewn together in a line. For more a better illustration, see above or consult Google. This film is comparable to the kind of thing that, if you saw on the bottom of your shoe, you’d scrape it off because it smelt bad. Sat in the cinema leading up to the start, I had a sensation analogous to that of being on a roller coaster chain lift: as the enormity of the situation dawned on me, I questioned why I would put myself through such torture. The beginning of the film left me very pleasantly surprised. For the most part, the clichéd acting of the original has been replaced with fairly decent performances. The dialogue isn’t half bad, and the horror tension builds at a more than adequate standard. The mood creation is aided by some very good shooting, showing off black and white horror, as well as good use of sound. If director Tom Six stopped messing about with such an extreme of the genre and a bit
Visual Arts5
PartB | Tuesday 8 November 2011
Martin (Laurence R. Harvey) with a Human Centpede of his creation more with the plot, I’m sure he could produce something decent. As I think I’ve alluded to, this level of film making is only a bit of a phase. The middle and the end are of little merit beyond seeing nasty stuff. The craziness gets to such a level that I perceive this film as a bit of a satire of the genre (and weirdly, the
original), going beyond any realm of sensibility into the depths of stupidity and grossness. I’m pretty resilient to gore, but I have never squirmed so much in my seat in a film before. The relative cleanliness of the surgery performed by Dr Heiter in the original has been replaced by an intellectually challenged man and some DIY.
Plausibility gets stretched past breaking point. The conjoining of satire and horror is a tricky one. There were some laughs produced in the audience. At points I laughed just at the realisation of how awful the following actions were to be. Satire has to be used fairly loosely in this context, however. In reality, The Human
Centipede II is just gross. If that’s what you want, run out and watch it immediately. The cinema experience will stick with you for a while (certainly the following jittery 15 minutes). If you thought the first film was grim, this one is much, much worse.
Remembrance Week
The Simpsons
Bored to Death
Sorority Girls
BBC1 , 21:15, Mondays
Channel 4, 18:00, Fridays
Sky Atlantic, 22:15, Mondays
E4, 21:00, Tuedays
In the run-up to Remembrance Sunday, Gethin Jones travels to Afganistan to honour the soldiers who have fought there. He also celebrates the courage of other servicemen and women who have participated in past conflicts around the world.
It’s the 19th season and we’re still loving the action. In the first episode Lionel Richie arrives in Springfield to serenade Homer for saving Mr Burns from drowning. The hapless hero soon gets an appetite for luxury and hires a life coach to help him achieve his aspirations.
New series. A policeman hires Jonathan to retrieve incriminating evidence from a sex club he frequents. George is horrified when his new boss clamps down on expenses, and Ray makes a desperate bid to salvage his relationship. Comedy starring Jason Schwartzman, Ted Danson and Zach Galifianakis.
Reality show in which young women compete for five places in a female student society being launched in the university city of Leeds by sorority insiders from America. In the first episode, a series of interviews whittles down 50 hopefuls to 20 potential members of the new organisation. They then have to turn on the charm at an evening party.
| Harry Burdon
ark Rothko’s first solo exhibition outside the USA was held in 1961, at the Whitechapel Gallery. The exhibition was momentous: it fundamentally altered the nature of the British art world. This small exhibition, 50 years on, commemorates the first showing of Rothko’s work in the UK and celebrates the artist’s relationship with the country. When Rothko arrived on the shores of Britain, Harold Macmillan’s government was presiding over a post-war country that had recently haemorrhaged its empire and was struggling to control inflation. Far from the swinging sixties, this was a land isolated from the modern evolution of abstract expressionism that had commenced across the Atlantic ten years before. In the corner of the single-room exhibit, an absorbing display cabinet chronicles Rothko’s visit to the country where he formed the relationships that facilitated the 1961 show, in particular with Bryan Robertson, then curator of the gallery. Their correspondence illuminates Rothko’s particularity in managing the space in which his work was to be displayed. A framed, typewritten piece requests a “considerably off white” background so that the walls aren’t “fighting against the pictures.” He wished for the pieces to be displayed as they were painted, not “over-lit or romanticized by spots” and hung as close to the floor as possible, not more than six inches high in some cases. Such a precisely managed environment allowed the visitors to be completely immersed in the world of each painting. Sandra Lousada’s photographs document the reactions of an awestruck British public as they interacted with the pieces for the first time. The world’s galleries continue to showcase momentous works of art from bygone eras but it is a rarity to
see the exact moment when a nation met a movement. The photos may condemn their subjects to an eternity of stillness, but it is not a stretch to imagine the visitors in the flesh, old ladies sprawled on benches and gentlemen leaning on pillars, staying and contemplating the colossal canvasses for an aeon. Critics of the time were seemingly as struck by the offering as the public. Many censured the first exhibition of abstract expressionism in the UK at the Tate in 1956, none more vehemently than David Sylvester, who in 1950 described American abstract art as an inferior imitation of European modern painting. Upon seeing the 1961 exhibit however, he wrote in his New Statesman review that the works were “the complete fulfilment of Van Gogh’s notion of using colour to convey man’s passions.” A unit wired with headphones plays through over an hour of archive audio material. Taped reviews echo Sylvester’s sentiments about the eloquence with which his work speaks whilst recorded interviews reveal intimate details of Rothko’s life; painter Paul Feiler recounts Rothko’s visit to Cornwall to meet artists from the St. Ives School of Art. Nayia Yiakoumaki, the gallery’s current Archive Curator spoke of the “overwhelming effect” that the original exhibition had on people as they ventured into the gallery from the street. Indeed, the Tate’s very definition of abstract expressionism states that it “embodies involving emotional reactions in art, born from the surrealist idea that art should come from the unconscious mind.” In 1959, Rothko intended to elicit such a reaction when he finished painting his Seagram murals to furnish the walls of the Four Seasons restaurant in New York. Ostensibly, he intended to subvert Manhattan’s elite of the 1960s: “I hope to ruin the appetite
of every son of a bitch who ever eats in that room,” he gloated, with paintings that will make those rich bastards “feel that they are trapped in a room where all the doors and windows are bricked up.” Rothko’s exact intentions are unclear, but perhaps upon realising that the works would be nothing more than mere decorations in the dining room of the modern aristocracy, the money from the commission was hastily returned and the paintings donated to the Tate. A display case at the current exhibition records the letters that negotiated this donation, allowing visitors to draw their own conclusions about this mysterious portion of Rothko’s past. The paintings arrived at the Tate on the same day in 1970 that Rothko cut his arms to die in an eight by six foot pool of his blood, a visceral and poignant reminder of the colours and the dimensions of the canvases that he was best known for. The single piece displayed at the Whitechapel, Light Red Over Black (1957), was the first Rothko ever purchased for a British collection, and is an apt choice to focus the minds of visitors on his prowess at the pinnacle of his mature style. Fifty years ago, John Russell commended the original exhibition in his Sunday Times review: “Most rare, mysterious and not to be missed is the experience which greets the visitor to the mark Rothko exhibition.” The Whitechapel’s commemorative offering tastefully opens a new public’s eyes to Rothko’s genius. Rothko in Britain is at Whitechapel Gallery until 26 February 2012. | Shyam Desai
Kate Rothko Prizel & Christopher Rothko ARS, NY and DACS, London
4Film | TV
Mark Rothko, Light Red Over Black, 1957
What’s on: one month until holidays There is only one month left before we start our winter holidays and whether you are going to return home or you are staying in London, there is a list of exhibitions you really want to add to your calendar!
Power of Making at the Victoria & Albert Museum The V&A in partnership with Crafts Council is now celebrating the importance of craftsmanship and making. There are over a hundred
uniquely crafted objects in exhibition, featuring works by both young and established artists using a wide array of skills. The artists combine their imagination with their skills to create crafts that could be used for entertainment, design, medical innovation or are simply an artistic creation to admire. One of the most outstanding works is Michael Rea’s Prosthetic Suit for Stephen Hawking with Japanese Steel. A robot-shaped suit made of wood, the sculpture is dedicated to the world-acclaimed scientist. Since
Hawking is effectively paralysed by motor neurone disease, wearing such a suit would give him the power to take control of his movements and control the world through his intelligence. The exhibition strongly addresses our times, which are characterised by cultural traditions being threatened by the loss of skill and traditional ways of making accumulated over the generations but neglected by the young. By showcasing their works, these artists celebrate the creativity of craftsmanship and the importance not only of the traditional making skills, but also the significance of using new technologies and new ways of working to create crafts that keep up with modern times, and at the same time learn from the skilful artisans of the past. Through this exhibition V&A hopes to introduce new creative ideas and encourage visitors also to use their imagination to create by themselves and be able to say proudly that “I made that!” Power of Making is at the Victoria and Albert Museum until 2 January 2012. * Contemporary Art Museum Virginia Beach
Michael Rea, Prosthetic suit for Stephen Hawking with Japanese Steel, 2007
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Leonardo da Vinci One of the most important exhibitions ever to take place in London opens tomorrow. Leonardo da Vinci: Painter at the Court of Milan is the most complete display of Leonardo’s paintings ever to be seen in London. While previous exhibitions have given priority to his works as an inventor, scientist or draughtsman, this exhibition at The National Gallery focusses
on his works as a court painter to Duke Ludovico Sforza in Milan in the late 1480s and 1490s. Leonardo’s ability to convey ideals of beauty and profound mystery in his choice of colours is perfectly portrayed in this exhibition. This exhibition focussing solely on Leonardo’s paintings in such a specific time frame, which is the first of its kind and brings together works displayed in galleries all around the world. Several of the works on display include La Belle Ferronière (Musée du Louvre, Paris), the Madonna Litta (Hermitage, Saint Petersburg) and Saint Jerome (Pinacoteca Vaticana, Rome). It is definitely an exciting time to be in London and be able to see such a vast collection of paintings in the same exhibition. Leonardo da Vinci: Painter at the Court of Milan runs at The National Gallery from 9 November 2011 to 5 February 2012. *
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Wildlife photography Stunning photographs portraying wildlife like you have probably never seen and never even imagined are now in exhibition at the Natural History Museum. The exhibition displays the works of the winners of the Veolia Environnement Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition. If you are also a wildlife photographer and would like your works to be exhibited in such a famous museum, you can try submitting your photos from 5 December 2011 onwards on the Natural History Museum website and
enter the 2012 competition. You never know, we might be talking about you in PartB next year! The Veolia Environnement Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition is at The Natural History Museum until 11 March 2012. *
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Pipilotti Rist For the first time in the UK, the Hayward Gallery at the Southbank Centre is now exhibiting the first survey of Swiss artist Pipilotti Rist. The exhibition features installations, sculptures, as well as dazzling music and videos covering Rist’s creations from the 1980s to today. The videos in particular are what Rist is most famous for and take up the majority of the exhibition. Video projects run across different surfaces, from the floor to the ceiling, and several cushions on the floor allow visitors to sit together with those moving images and be submerged by the feelings they evoke. Rist’s projections play with space and interact with the viewer through a peculiar music and a game of light. Through this exhibition the imagination of the viewer is put to test and what you will be thinking when you walk out from those exhibition rooms is up to what image your brain has captured and recalls as the most vivid. Pipilotti Rist: Eyeball Massage is at The Hayward, Southbank Centre until 8 January 2012.
6Fashion | Food
Tuesday 8 November 2011 | PartB
elcome to Shoreditch, the urban fairground. A small section of our great city is seemingly devoted to the pursuit of debauched pleasure. Head east where the boys look underfed and the girls parade around in musty fur coats. Those who live here are typified by non-prescription glasses, an overload of plaid and rolled cigarettes tucked nonchalantly behind the ear. Indeed these specimens are vast in number and influence. Just like punks, gtoths, and Mods before them, they will no doubt come to define our generation. Now, much wrath has been pelted at these “scenesters,” and like every phenomenon, perhaps there has been an element of overkill. Nonetheless clearly “Being a Dickhead” is actually cool (if you have been living under a rock, search for the phrase YouTube) as clothing companies race to produce Breton tops and spray on jeans. Furthermore, few would disagree that the best party to be found on a Saturday night in the capital is east of Liverpool Street.
flickr user pnevans
A study of markets W
Spitalfields market
flickr user quite peculiar
Renegade Craft Fair at Old Truman Brewery
However, I believe that the most fun is to be had the morning after the night before, when the area really comes alive. While the city is eerily quiet, Brick Lane is bustling. Things kick off early, and it is worth trying to shake off that slightly nauseous feeling to go and join in the fun. Grab an unpleasantly strong coffee en route and (Circle line permitting) get yourself to Aldgate East, where the adventure begins. For beginners, Old Spitalfields Market is a safe punt. Enclosed in a vast complex, surrounded comfortingly by kitsch cafes, here you can find a myriad of products from your standard Beatles T-shirts to eccentric golden jewellery. Sure, the Disney-style charm bracelets you bought have a fair possibility of leaving your forearm tinged an unpleasant shade of green, but it’s worth the risk when they are only £3 for two. Regarding money (a quick admin point), where markets are involved it is certainly worth coming armed with cash. This area in particular is badly stocked with cash machines – on my last visit I only came across a lone branch of Barclays, which had a queue worse than Wright’s bar on a hectic day. When I finally came to purge my already decrepit account of yet more money, I was informed that this
nsconced on a corner just past the Grand Temple of Freemasonry, there is a humble public house, quite unassuming, seemingly bringing back the sense of the village into London. Within lies a snug brick-walled establishment, that once entered through the nicely weighted door, you enter a world of magical wonder. It manages to blend fine wood floors with carpeted sections that have superb swirls and patterns - If you squint your eyes they may remind you of a Nordic country’s far right political movement’s symbol. But it’s not obvious, I’m really just looking for something to blather on about. Don’t be off put, after all, it’s just a piece of carpet. For starters, despite the bar being small and almost too uncomfortable, it is relatively well stocked. While there might only be two bitters, the one I sampled, Flowers, was superb. It had a wonderful smell, with a fruity aftertaste and was superb. It made up for the embarrassment that was the Green King IPA sat next to it. They don’t belong in the same class, but I suppose it would be infeasible to have the IPA pump in the toilet, where it belongs. The fact that a branded pint glass was provided was a nice touch, showing a little bit of care for my customer experience. Bar staff knew what they were doing and cleaned the tables with a sense of urgency that
ewan munro
The Sun, Drury Lane E
The Sun, Drury Lane was nice to see. I got the general sense was that while this pub had clearly been refurbished, immense care had been taken to retain the classic feel. Pots
and sundries over the door and hanging flowerpots made for an enjoyable visual experience. At the time I ventured in there was no music playing, which might change later at night,
but it didn’t dampen the atmosphere at all. I was slightly disappointed by the crudely placed quiz box machine, especially considering how unobtrusively the Sky Sports TVs are placed,
hole-in-the-wall was only dispensing £50 notes. After my initial ecstasy of holding this gilded note (the first one of my life), it quickly became apparent that no stall holders were willing to take it off my hands. It is a tragedy that those leggings with the London skyline printed on them will never be mine, but I digress. So Spitalfields is an institution, but sadly this fashion nirvana is coming under attack. Gunned down by property developers wanting to cash in on the ‘cool’, independent retailers are being priced out. The emergence of familiar chains such as Wagamamas and Las Iguanas is deeply disconcerting as it demonstrates a shift towards creating identikit segments of our city. Like Camden before it, as the area’s notoriety grows, its character diminishes. Attempts have been made to move the scene further east, but it seems even Dalston is dead. When you attempt to buy a drink and find out that only gooseberry mojitos are served and are charged at the eye watering price of £12, it is time to move on. However, there is a glimmer of hope. Sundays in the Old Truman Brewery host an exciting, youthful market cleverly titled “Up-Market.” In fact, it is anything but snobbish. Full of fledgling designers flogging their wares, it is a hub of innovation, characterised by one of a kind pieces. A labyrinth of stalls makes for an exhilarating day even if you leave empty handed. In fact the sprawling vintage section of the warehouse is akin to the world’s biggest dressing up box, with old, slightly faded wedding dresses allowing one to channel their inner Miss Havisham. This dizzy, light-hearted behaviour characterises Shoreditch and must not be lost. Perhaps it is more precious here, due to its geographical location. A five minute stroll will take you into corporate bad lands, where, although the agony of the working hours might be rewarded with the ecstasy of money and status, it’s a pretty soulless existence. The east stands as a beacon for those who still want to indulge in revelry. When presented with the choice between a suit or a polka dot puffball skirt, the choice, I reckon is obvious. | Emma Beaumont
but I’ll survive. I also thought the sun motif of the pub was slightly contrived – it is a bit much to have a sign, frosted windows and light orbs all reminding you of the fact. I get that you need to differentiate yourselves from the turgid O’Neil’s just down the road, but a sense of perspective would be preferable. Or I could just be an unhinged nutter. Unfortunately, this pub is slightly closer to the King’s campus than the gloriousness that is our little plot within this city, so don’t go looking for conversation on integrals or supply-side Laffer Venn diagrams (I think I got that one right). You’ll only be disappointed. On the topic of conversation, clear thought has gone into the size, number and height of the tables, with several at the perfect height for a jaunty lean. The bar itself is high enough to lean forward and be propped up after a hard day of studenting, but not so low that one couldn’t sit at it comfortably. Delicious stuff. Overall, a solid effort from the owners. I’d go back, but if there’s a big sporting event I have the feeling it’ll get more crowded than Houghton Street at 1 O’clock on Election Day, but without the feel of desperation. Well placed TVs, nice staff and a decent ale, what’s not to enjoy? | Matthew Worby
Food | LSEx7
PartB | Tuesday 8 November 2011
ometimes on a small, romantic pebbled street, hidden between many alleyways that flow out from one of Covent Garden’s heavily congested centre, lies a cosy traditional french restaurant, Café des Amis. Its alluring elegant look denotes its relatively parallel characteristic of being slightly expensive. An average plate costs £25 and with an appetiser and wine you are looking at closer to £35. For a similar French experience that is a little cheaper, I suggest Boulevard Brasserie, which is just down the street. The restaurant itself is spacey, something that is rare to find on the crowded streets of London, and has a good atmosphere of people and service, not to mention excellent bathrooms (bathrooms will always tell you a lot about a place, and this restaurant clearly places a great deal of importance to this characteristic, because the bathrooms were immaculate). Now on to the most important
aspect of the restaurant – its food. The food is decorated with a prideful, artistically alluring presence. The chef and sous-chef undoubtedly find a need to decorate elaborately, and they are successful at portraying a respect for their food in the decor. As you bite into their food, you feel as though you were chaotically destroying an artistic declaration of food. To start, the appetisers amaze the palate and wake up the senses. I ordered the goat’s cheese salad with beets. The combination of the deepred roots served cold as a salad after being cooked with the richness of the white goat’s cheese spread over small pieces of sliced French bread drizzled with olive oil makes a delicate combination of texture, colour, and taste that appeals to several senses – quite an achievement. After such an appetiser, the bar for the main course was set high. The entrée did not reach it. After taking my palette to sensorial heaven, the
main plate dropped me back to Earth with the whiplash of disappointment. I chose the haddock with egg on a Spanish tortilla with a mustard sauce drizzled to the side. Despite the description, the dish lacked taste – salt, pepper, spices – there was very little of anything. It failed to awaken any sense at all. Moreover, the haddock was dull, the egg was cold, and the Spanish tortilla was stale. In fact, I found myself enjoying my wine more than the plate itself. The decoration and presentation, however alluring, could not make up for the bland eating experience. The plate was average at best, and I felt that I should have stuck to the appetiser, had an extra glass of wine and called it a night. Café des Amis was a wonderful experience in terms of location, atmosphere and decorative food, but in honesty, unless it is for the appetiser, I cannot see myself returning. | Mabe Garcia-Rincon
Flickr user tireoflondon
Café des Amis, Covent Garden S
Pulling etiquette 1. “I really want to fuck you” is not a phrase that will lead to romance. Ditto “you’re not going to get anyone better tonight.”
10. Chat up lines can work. Keep it simple though – “what would you do if I
2. If teeth clashing occurs it is not going well. Either improve or
kissed you right now” and asking outright “can I have a kiss” work wonders (I am a serial victim of this one).
get off the poor girl/guy.
11. Multiple partner pulling is acceptable if you are young and single.
3. Vomming before pulling is not cool. Unfortunately, this rule is often not obeyed by AUers, in which case serious mouth rinsing is advised. And if you vom in someone’s mouth, you deserve all the abuse you get.
Just don’t be surprised if your first kissee doesn’t seem keen when you return to them for a second round. Or you get glandular fever (again – I’ve been a victim).
4. Remember, the aim is not to stick your entire tongue down
Do not introduce your pull to all your friends – it is a bit weird and keen.
12.
13. You may be nervous but try not to shake. I am often on the receiving end of
the other person’s throat, as this is both unpleasant and can lead to choking.
5. Plumping lip gloss should be viewed like big knickers – they
Can you be trained to do this?
Image: Paul Varjak as George Peppard and Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)
increase your chances of getting action, but once getting action greatly decrease further action. For some reason, boys don’t like the sensation of their chin being on fire. (Similar situation with sticky lip gloss/sticky chin.)
6. Consider your kissing technique. You need to avoid emulating a washing machine and accidentally swallowing someone’s face, but on the other hand, if you are a fan of the half closed mouth, JUST BLOODY OPEN IT FOR GOD’S SAKE.
7. Fingering is not acceptable behaviour in a club. Leave that for a nice dark alley somewhere.
8. Leaving your group to go and pull is acceptable (and encouraged) behaviour – hopefully your friends are lads too. Although hopefully not ladsy enough to take photos, as it is very unsettling for the other person when a group of strangers takes a photo of you getting it on.)
9. If you are planning to leave with someone, mention it to them. It is unnerving when someone just follows you to your bus-stop and doesn’t go/follows you home.
this one and it is very off-putting. If you’re shaking because you’re excited to get with someone, you need to get around more.
14. If your advances are rebuffed, leave graciously with your dignity intact. 15. Allegedly, you can “train” people to be better kissers. Personally I’m dubious but I am assured it can be done. This may bring some comfort if it’s going badly.
Next week: Bedside manners Romantic text of the week
8Private B
Tuesday 8 November 2011 | PartB
PRIVATE B Held the front page! Honest person gives money to LSE!
-QuickComment
T
he LSE Finance Department was alleged to be in uproar on Monday evening with the news that the latest donor to the School, T.H.E. Dardanelles, had done so entirely legally, without any intention of gaining a privileged position within the university administration in order fund a coup in Bolivia, drill for oil in the Norfolk Broads or gain specialist legal advice for activities undertaken whilst advising the Prime Minister of Italy. After filing a full report with the Metropolitan Police, the Fraud Squad and the intelligence agencies of sixteen nations, no infidelities were uncovered within Mr Dardanelles’s donation. “We couldn’t believe it,” Finance Director Hugh Pugh informed the B, “We thought that we have been able to salvage something when we thought that Mr Dardanelles had been given a 50 pence library fine in 1986, but even that turned out to have been a mistake caused by the librarian getting him confused with the man below him on the library’s membership list.” Alex Stockwell-Day, the General Secretary of the Students’ Union, also expressed dismay at the revelations, noting that the forthcoming “The Only Way is Ethics” assembly meeting would now have nothing to discuss. Ms Stockwell-Day stated, “We were banking on the money at least being laundered in Yemen or something.
Who do you blame for the Beaver scandal? “The Sunlight” –Jah Quey, 2nd year, BSc Economics ‘The Moonlight’ – Teah Toh, 2nd year, BSc Economics “The Goodtimes” –Rahn Dhe, 2nd year, BSc Economics “The Boogie” – Ghe Mai’n, 2nd year, BSc Economics “Sorry! Can’t stop, I can’t control my feet!” –Mai Khul, 2nd year, BSc Economics Frankly, you have to wonder what the world is coming too when an LSE alumnus is giving money out of the goodness of their heart!” Stanley Engelbert-Humperdink also spoke against Mr Dardanelles’s donation, stating, “This seems like nothing more than a cheap attempt by
depressingly moral people to derail the most important LSESU campaign since the last one we did.” While Mr Dardanelles did take luncheon with former LSE Director Sir Howard Duvets last year, it is understood that aside from taking a few too many refills to be polite, the
LSE SU Shop launches new laptop range
iMAKHNO The revolution will not be televised, but it will be computerised! • Wireless compatible to co-ordinate the resistance by effortlessly leeching the internet from Starbucks • Draft constitutional elements in minute detail with 4GB of RAM (Random Access Marxism) • Comes pre-loaded with 19 Tony Benn speeches and 17 Ken Loach films • Free kettle with every purchase* Available colours: Black Unavailable colours: Red, White, Green Price: Currency is an oppressive bourgeois construct *Subject to innane group protest within 6 months and at the discretion of the Metropolitan Police.
two course meal at the Euston outlet of Nandos was also paid in full. Mr Dardanelles was unavailable for comment owing to a Beijing lunch appointment with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Rupert Murdoch and the Algerian Interior Minister. | Tanned Ale
NEXT WEEK... What do you think of the LSE Library’s proposal to introduce a “Takeshi’s Castle” challenge to gain computer access?
Verse written to commemorate the resignation of David Held, Graham Wallas Professor of Political Science By William Topaz McGonetotheNorth
Twas in the year two-thousand-and-eight That old David Held was in a cheerful state As heʼd helped supervise a great PhD For a charming young man called Saif Gaddafi. As Libyans go, there were few that were smarter And Gaddafi wanted to help out his alma mater So as things went by in barely a flash Saif handed around great bundles of cash. As a result, things went well for that Professor of IR And the people in Whitehall thought he was a star Yet with the Revolutions and Muammarʼs Stasi Things went bad when the air force started bombing Benghazi. From then on the LSE ended up like Tripoli With members of staff who started to flee Although even when even Sir Howard was felled To power and privilege, old David held. But yet, as it happens, without much delay Last month the good academic did go on his way Yet the good little students can smile as we can Knowing that we ourselves wonʼt have to go to Durham.