Building
TRUST by Sitting on The Same Side of The Table
By Randy Conley By their very nature, unionized workplaces and industries often promote a culture of distrust between stakeholders. Each party is suspicious of the other and is afraid of being taken advantage of, so they hold their cards close to their vest and try to cut the best deal possible for their stakeholders. It’s us on one side of the table versus them on the other. Must it be that way? I don’t think so. I think both sides can build trust by sitting on the same side of the table. First, let’s talk about why we don’t trust each other. We refrain from trusting because it involves risk. If there’s no risk involved, then there’s no need to trust. But if you are vulnerable to the actions of another, then trust is required. You have two choices when presented with relationship risk: you can withhold trust to protect yourself, or you can extend trust in the hopes it will be reciprocated and both parties will benefit. 10 » Partners in Progress » www.pinp.org
Reciprocation is a key factor in the development of trust. There is a social dynamic in relationships known as the Law of Reciprocity. Essentially it means that when someone does something nice to us—gives us gifts, shows love, extends trust, gives grace, grants forgiveness—we have a natural human instinct to respond in kind. Unfortunately, the opposite is true, as well. When someone acts cruelly or hostile toward us, we often respond in even more cruel and hostile ways. In the public square these days, negative reciprocity is the norm. Warring factions have developed a singular membership criterion: you’re either with me or against me. We have demonized those whom we believe to be against us. They are no longer honorable, well-meaning people with different ideas. They are mortal enemies who cannot be trusted at any cost. The result is one group treats the other with contempt
