Five Step To Save Your Marriage after Cheating
The most crucial foundation of any marriage is that a couple should have a complete and absolute trust in each other. An extramarital affair cruelly shatters this trust into small pieces. Cheating is not only heartbreaking but also affects the relationship in a multitude of negative ways. After the initial shock and the subsequent feelings of betrayal, it often leads to quarrels, conflicting situations, anger, resentment and sometimes even aggression in the couple. Being cheated on by a loved one is extremely painful and right now you might be hurting “like hell” and the last thing you want to do is to start thinking of ways to save your marriage. But a relationship is a journey and infidelity is a major hurdle that you have to tackle heads on. You need to keep in control of the situation, before it controls you and gets out of hand. The truth is that an affair doesn’t signal the end of a marriage. It is a proven fact that a marriage can come through infidelity – and it some cases even become stronger. If you have decided to save your marriage, the first step is to let go of your negative anger. Anger is a toxic emotion that will impede your judgment and is totally counter-productive. This in turn leads to selfdestruction. Right now you need to take control of yourself and make important decisions. You need to find ways of releasing your frustration and anger (other than on your partner). Basically, the shouting matches and eruptions have to stop. Utilize your anger as a strategic tool to inspire you to do things which will help repair your relationship in a constructive way. 1. Get physical Although punching bags can be an obvious option, you could focus your energy more positively by going for long walks or runs or doing any type of physical activities that you enjoy. 2. Empty your soul on paper Just get a pen and paper and start writing how you feel. It might be pages and pages or just a few words (like disloyal, dishonest, deceitful, liar, betrayal). Just let it flow. 3. Talk about your marriage Talk to people you can trust about this issue. Be careful here and think long and hard before you discuss your marriage with anyone. In some cases the backlash could be terrible. Often it is much safer to talk to a complete stranger (for example a marriage counselor) than to a friend or a member of your family. A marriage counselor won’t know you and therefore won’t judge you. Once your marriage is back on track a friend or family member family might still make derogatory comments which you won’t appreciate. 4. Forgive your spouse and get ready to enter a new chapter. This might take some time, but ultimately if you want to give your marriage a second chance you must forgive your partner. Don’t forgive him/her for the sake of it. If you do this do it wholeheartedly. You will
know when you are ready to do so. Don’t make him pay for what he did and treat him badly as this is totally counter-productive. Remember you are starting afresh! 5. Get ready to do some serious work An affair is a sign of a much bigger problem. You need to take a good look at yourself and your partner. What are your flaws? What could you both improve on? What do you need from the other person in order to trust them again? Then work out how to reach your goals. Long after the affair has ended, don’t keep on looking for signs that it might still be going on. You need to learn to trust again. Making it through an extra-marital affair is dependent upon an honest and genuine reconciliation and the confidence that you are beginning a new chapter of in your relationship. However the good news is that if you manage to work through your issues, your relationship can be better than ever. I have created a FREE report that you can get at http:/howtosavemymarriage.net which explores the issue in more details and also give you an easy to follow step-by-step actionable plan to start saving your marriage today!