Mount Loneliness You Have To Come Down To Love & Marriage
Is Marriage Calling You To Come Down?
Mt. Loneliness You Have To Come Down To Love & Marriage
Copyright 2015, Paul Eugene All Rights Reserved under International Copyright Law. Contents may not be reproduced in whole or in part in any form without the express written permission of Paul Eugene.
All Scripture Quotations: KJV (King James Version) NIV (New International Version)
paul@pauleugene.com Paul Eugene PO Box 6337 Pittsburgh, PA 15212
Mt. Loneliness You Have To Come Down To Love & Marriage
CONTENTS
Introduction...........................................................................5 The Beginning.......................................................................6 How Did You End Up At Mt Loneliness?...............................8 Starting The Trek Down The Mountain.................................9 The Flesh, The World, The Devil.........................................11 Facing Fears........................................................................12 Release of Your Spirit..........................................................13 At The Bottom of The Mountain...........................................14 Am I Companionship Material?............................................15
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It Is Written.. “A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh” “Therefore what God has joined together let no man tear it apart.” Blessed is the man and woman who does not depart from the word of God, but meditates on it day and night, do it and have a blessed life.
Heaven and earth shall pass away but the word of God endures forever.
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Introduction In the beginning the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help mate for him” (Genesis 2:18) speaking about Adam the only human on the earth at that time. What’s so striking is that Adam did not know he was alone and never complaint to God about it! Adam was contend, complete and whole. It was God that saw he was alone and thus provided Adam with companionship. The purpose was to help Adam to fulfill God’s purpose. And thus the desire in humans for companionship was born.
The mere fact that you are reading this e book is a indicator that the desire is still within you. But situations or circumstances in life are hindering you from seeking this out any longer. You chose to be alone, to protect yourself from further drama, harm and disappointment. When you get to this point I liken it to climbing a mountain to get away. You take all the emotional, mental and spiritual baggage with you and sit on the top of Mt Loneliness. But you don,t have to stay there. I believe God is calling you down from Mt Loneliness to his gift of acceptance and security (love), first from him to you and then for you to share it with another. What makes this calling so temping is that you realize it is not YOUR LOVE it’s his. You can stop wasting your time with human love which can never fulfill you or another person. In this ebook I sometimes substitute accepted or acceptance in place of the word love. For some of us including my self it has a more powerful impact. It is my intend that this ebook my inspire and encourage some of you to come down from Mt Loneliness into the companionship that God has planned for you long before you were conceived in your mother’s womb. Paul Eugene
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Mt. Loneliness, You Have To Come Down To Love & Marriage
The Beginning We live in a world that is couple minded. Everywhere you go you see couples, so there is some truth that “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. If either one falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. “ (Ecclesiastes 4:9 - 10). From this we can see that couples are team players, striving for the common goal. But somewhere in the history of time this has become more and more broken. The team playing has become my and yours and we got lost or tossed out the window. A deep root of selfishness has been established. The Bible points to fall of the first couple Adam and Eve. “Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden?” The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’” The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die!… For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”…When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.… Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. (Genesis 3: 2 - 7) When God confronted Adam about what happen, the first pointing of the finger begin when Adam said to God “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.” (Genesis 3:12). Every time I read this I laugh because it’s just like some men today, blame the wife, can’t you hear them saying “woman look what you did”. So the disobedience of Eve and the passiveness of Adam has landed us into these messy relationships we have today. Yes Adam was passive because he did step in stop the Serpent from deceiving Eve. The consequences of their actions were that God said to to Eve, “And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you” and for Adam hard labor (Gensis 3:18). Imagine coming home from a hard day of work and your wife desiring control over you! Just joking, but some cases that is the case. And is some cases men don;t work, just lazy. But as always God knows the beginning from the end and has a plan ready for every situation.
Mt. Loneliness, You Have To Come Down To Love & Marriage 7 God’s plan of salvation and redemption in Jesus Christ is God plan to restore man and woman back into fellowship with him. No his plan does not restores us back to the state of Adam and Eve before they ate the apple but to be conformed to image of God in Christ. But because we still go about in imperfect souls until we get to heaven and will sin and even hurt one another but God has made a promise in 1 John 1:9, “if we confess our sin, he will forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We learn to love and forgive one another in the empowerment that Christ gives us. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified. (Romans 8:28 - 30).
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Mt. Loneliness, You Have To Come Down To Love & Marriage
How Did You End Up At Mt. Loneliness? There are many reasons why you find your self on Mt. Loneliness. The first relationship we learn to model as children are those of our parents or those in guardianship over us. We were to young to understand the dynamics of what makes up a relationship between a man and a woman, so what we saw and heard was being molded in the unconsciousness of our mind of what a relationship should be like. As I reflect back I never saw my father or mother kiss or show any signs of affections until I was in my 30’s. It happen one day when my father was in the hospital and I went to pick up my mother and before we left his room she lean over and kissed him. I almost fainted! But yet at the same time their communication at home was so mind blowing to me that I wanted that kind of communication. I can remember seeing my father sit at the kitchen table and trim my mother’s finger nails. One day I a female friend was over my house and saw my father trimming my mother’s nails and she almost fainted. She never seen anything like that before. Other factors could be television, movies, the community, the church and culture. They all give us examines of relationships but not are necessarily good. I believe that most of us grew up not prepared on how to enter a relationship. So we just enter into them hoping for love and that things will some how workout. When they don’t we get frustrated and sometimes lower are standards and settle for “friends with benefits”, which amounts to selling your self short. You give your time, money, resources and body for someone who could walk out at any moment. You may say that’s okay, but inside your heart you desired something better. But your self worth has been so cheapen that you can’t muster up enough self-esteem to get out of that rut. But then one day you tell your self you had enough and that you would rather be by yourself, so you start the climb up Mt. Loneliness. Perhaps you were in a relationship which you thought that was the one, but found out the other person was not on the same page as you. Perhaps you come home and found a note that said it was over and left, or in these days you got a text message. Your heart was crushed and set out to never let it happen again. So you packed up your heart, soul, emotions and body started your trek up Mt Loneliness. I will share with you one such incident that sent me packing my bags. I was attempting to reconciled a past relationship and I was led to believe that the green light was on, she said that she was no longer with anyone and I flew 2000 miles only to find out on day 2 at a party that she was engaged! And I was introduced to the man right there at the party! Yes I climbed up Mt Loneliness and parked there for a long time.
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The Christian Community The Christian community is no better. Here is a classic one, when someone walks up to you and tell you that God told them you are to marry them. And they are dead serious! One time that happen to me and I said well I did not hear that from God, the young lady said she would fast and pray until God reveal it to me, I said it’s a good way for you to lose weight, but God has not told me anything and if he forcing me to marry you then me and God are going to have a fall out. LOL! We were dating for a short time when this came about, but like the the bible says Where there is no counsel, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. (Proverbs 11:14). So we went to counsel and praise God I was set free. In a few months time she married some other guy, I said who was the fool? LOL! God gives us insight into relationships. If we are listening and watching he will show us signs. They are usually small ones. Which at first may be over looked because we don;t think that a small matter can eventually amount to any thing serious, but they usually do. Before you know it you become a batter man or woman. When you have been emotionally and physically batter enough you will pack up your bags and head up Mt. Loneliness. Mt Loneliness is full of men and women who decided that it is a safe place for them to be and it just may be for a season. It is a wise move because you realize that you deserve better. The small flicker of self-esteem that was left in you told you to climb up the mountain. There is not set time as to how long you will stay up there, but while up there if you are wise, you are drawing closer to God, pouring out your soul and letting him heal you. But if you remain bitter, cold and unforgiving then the mountain will become your permanent residence. The time spent on Mt Loneliness is a time of exchange. Exchanging your heart’s desires, understanding and wisdom for God’s. Too often the scripture “delight thyself in the Lord and he will give you the desire of your heart (Psalm 37:4) is claimed and there really isn’t real delighting in the Lord because you are still holding onto your own delights. There is one Christian single dating web site that uses this in there ad, it shows the couple smiling. I often wonder how many paid their money but never got what was promised in the ad. God will let you know when it’s time come down the mountain as you spend time in fellowship with him, reading, mediating on his word and doing it!. What do you sense God speaking to you about?
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Mt. Loneliness, You Have To Come Down To Love & Marriage
Starting The Trek Down The Mountain Perhaps you have been up on Mt Loneliness for some time and the Lord has been healing your heart. And you are thinking about giving it another try. The desire for companionship is still alive but this time God is showing you a different way to approach it. He has given you a small amount faith about the size of a mustard seed to begin to see the possibility and take action. In fact the healing in your heart, soul and mind will lead you to never enter a relationship like you did in the past. You know the land-mines you step into before and most of all you realize how you have actually exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is forever praised (Romans 1:25). In other words we had set our hope, expectations and worth on the acceptance by another person. Who is just as broken as you. For all have sin and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). You are now feeling better about your self. You are feeling better than you every have before. There is a sense of excitement about your future. Not just about your social life but all of your life. One thing that you have is a keen sense of the reality that time is short. And so you do not have as much time left on earth as you did before you climbed up the mountain. You are more tune into Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith, fixing your eyes on him. Knowing that as each day the sun rises and sets you are getting closer to being with him and you want the companion in your life who has this same joy set before them. You are being transformed by the renewing of your mind, no longer being confirm and shaped by this world’s practice of companionship which amounts to idolatry which is an end in of itself and has no eternal value in it. You begin to see how much a blessing you are as a person in Christ Jesus. And that whom ever Christ brings into your life, you are both gifts from him for his glory and purpose which is beyond bringing you happiness. Happiness is for a moment and time and it needs something to happen again to bring back those feelings of happiness, but the joy of the Lord is our strength and his love is a eternal fix state. It will not fade or pass away with time. Therefore, you can rejoice like never before and thank God for his mercy and grace that has set you on a sure foundation, the rock that is him.
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The Flesh, The World, The Devil As you begin to ascend down Mt. Loneliness, you must be aware that the flesh, the world and the enemy of your soul, Satan does not want to see this happen. Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith in Christ Jesus (1 Peter 5:8). The devil cohorts will begin to speak all kind of negative or imitating words to you such as “just who do you think you are”, “you can never be a wife or husband”, “as messed up you were who would want you”. You must use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and casting down imaginations, and every high thing that attempts to exalt itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:4 - 5). You must take up the Amour of God, you must use it or you will tank! Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; and your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints. Ephesian 6:10 - 18 I can’t say enough about prayer. We must pray and not just for ourself but for that future companion to be strong in the Lord. You don’t want some one new in your life that is weaker than you, in what remains in your life? You already experience that. Now that you have the necessary tools to start the trek down the mountain, remember the ultimate goal is to be found God’s Love and purpose.
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Mt. Loneliness, You Have To Come Down To Love & Marriage
Facing Fears Fears what are they? Are they tangible? Have you every held fear in your hands? I have read somewhere that fear is nothing more than:
False Evidence Appearing Real So that amounts to lies. Jesus said that Satan was the father of lies and works ever so hard to deceive us with the very word of God if possible. As you begin your journey down the mountain you may encounter by some emotional baggage that may be trigger by some event, person or thing. You may be tempted to give up and start back up the mountain. You may find yourself dealing with a lot of what if questions. Which are nothing more than lies projected into the future which as not happen yet. Jesus told us not to worried about tomorrow but be mindful where we are today. Ask yourself, are any of those things happening right now? The obvious answer is no. You may stand still for a moment, which at that moment the Holy Spirit is bringing back to your memory truth to deal with the false evidence appearing real (fear). In some instances you may not be moved at all. In fact you will walk through it with out being move. At that moment you are experiences the power of God and the faith that moves mountain. Also the peace that God gives us that surpasses all understanding. That is our natural understanding. I like to exchange the word peace for security. Now read it like this “For God give us security that surpasses our understanding.” I like that because it gives a sense of being in God’s grip. One thing I have learned when coming down the mountain and run into people who were part of past I am amazed at how I am not moved by their presence. For some people their may be what I call a residue of old emotions. The term I will use for this is Soul Ties. Soul Ties are the entwine of your soul and spirit with another person. You two connected so deeply in the flesh that it may seem inseparable. But the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit (Hebrews 4:12). The word of God in me breaks the power they had once on me. Praise God for healing of my soul.
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Release of Your Spirit We have to allow the master surgeon, Almighty God do surgery in us. His word enters into us and breaks our soul to release his spirit in our spirit. That is what gives us the freedom from the soul which is made up of our mind, emotions and will. The true authentic Christian walk is by faith in Jesus Christ and not by sight or feelings. This a snare that many weak Christians fall into they walk by sight or feelings. Because they don’t necessary feel different or see any changes at that moment they dismiss God grace, mercy and healing. For many looks at the outward but God the heart. I pray that the Holy Spirit will make this more and more real to you or you will find yourself back up on the mountain. It says in James 1:3-5, “count it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him”.
May the God of security Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass (1 Thessalonian 5:23 - 24). Further more it is written that those who are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons and daughters of God. Being led by the Holy Spirit produces these characteristics in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22). All of these are relationship oriented. I can remember when I was a new babe in Christ and I did not like when I heard the word long-suffering. All I could see was pain but I see now it means that God is at work doing something good on my behalf and the behalf of others.
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Mt. Loneliness, You Have To Come Down To Love & Marriage
At The Bottom of The Mountain Now you are at the bottom of the mountain, because who Christ sets free is free indeed. But our freedom is in him and not ourselves. As we reflect back for a moment we see how far we have come. We can thank God for our freedom, growth and maturity. We are not what you use to be and we do not see ourselves the same way as before. We can thank God that we are still alive and well on planet earth by his grace and mercy. Some of us during the dark times climbing up the mountain and even sitting there thought about ending life, but thanks be to God that did not happen. You can say God gave us a second chance, third chance or however many chances but is a God who goes to and forth the earth pouring out his mercy, patience and grace not willing that any should perish. And that what you are a recipient of his out pouring. As sons and daughters of God in Christ Jesus we are grasping our identity increasingly more. As a man in Christ you have clearer sense of what means to be a brother to God’s daughters in Christ who are your sisters. And as a woman in Christ you have clearer sense of what means to be a sister to God’s son’s in Christ who are your brothers. We no longer regard each other after the flesh because when we do that we trample on Christ grace and open up a opportunity for the devil to do his work. God is releasing in us a new kind of respect for each other on the level that God The Father, The Lord Jesus Christ and God The Holy Spirit have for each other. We have put off the old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; and are being made new in the attitude of our minds; created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore we must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to each other, for we are all members of one body and that is Christ. (Ephesians 4:22 - 25) In the past, we may not always been honest and truthful in relationships, because we did not want to be alone. But what did we profit from that? Pain and broken fellowship with God. But thanks be to God for his mercy and grace for we no longer have to live that way. No more living in fear or rejection of flesh and blood because we are in him.
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Are You Ready For Companionship? Hmm, good question. What do you think? I am going to start this of by posing this questions to the sisters in Christ. In a new companionship with a brother in Christ, will your presence in his life enhance him in serving the Lord as God as called him? I hear so much from sisters in Christ that they are waiting for God to send them a husband. I sometimes ponder what they mean by that. Is it so that he can take care of them? So they can say they got a man? And expect all the worldly things that come with that? A nice income, house, car and the kids? There is nothing wrong with those things, but is that your main motive and expectations? Where is serving God in this picture? What if something happens and he can’t provide all those things? Is your relationship over? Trust me things will come into the relationship that you were not counting on. Maybe rock your world, so are you really for better or worse? Now to my brothers in Christ, will having a sister in Christ really enhance you in serving the Lord to what he has called you to? Or is it driven by your sex drive? When that is over do you see the greater purpose for her being in your life? I have spent years in previous relationships that did not have the greater purpose in view, but thank God for his mercy that I got out. There is a teaching in the church that it is better to marry than burn, but when that drive starts to slow down or burn out will you still need her? When her body loses the shape or if she can’t have the son you aways wanted, is the relationship over? As men in Christ we are called to a high calling, to be a reflection to woman as Christ is to the church. That is a tall order that no man can do in and of himself. Does the sister who has caught your eye have this understanding? In what ways is she helping you in this? In most churches there are more woman than men, so the single men have a wider selection to choose from. This is why men you must seek God guidance. Men must pray for wisdom and discernment. At the same time men must not take advantage of this truth and play the field in such a way that it leaves a trail of wreck sisters behind. With this all said, brothers and sisters in Christ are you ready for love and marriage? May The Holy Spirit and the Word of God reveal that to you.
Shopping 4 Love In The Right Place Coming Soon! Paul Eugene