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BMW’s sensational 612-hp Alpina B8 Gran Coupe offers the ultimate in sophisticated performance

By Howard Walker

BMW design has become a little, shall we say, eccentric as of late. It seems each model is all swollen kidney grilles, creased and crumpled bodywork, and cartoonish proportions. Case in point: the all-new iX electric sport-ute, which looks like it came from the Etch A Sketch of some sugared-up 4-year-old.

But there’s one design masterpiece in the burgeoning BMW lineup that never fails to spin heads and deliver endless oohhs and aahhs: the stunning 8 Series Gran Coupe.

This sensuous four-door fastback—with its low-slung bulldog stance, raked-back windshield, and swoopy roofline—is one of the most gorgeous automobiles money can buy. Want to increase the appeal of the 8 Series Gran Coupe even further and ensure you become part of an ultra-exclusive group of owners? Then opt for the Alpina version.

Alpina is BMW’s performance division—kind of like Mercedes’ AMG setup but on a much smaller scale. Around 1,700 Alpinas are produced each year, split between the 7 Series–based B7, the honking X7-based XB7, and the B8 Gran Coupe. Alpina develops all three models, which BMW then builds and sells exclusively in the United States, backed by a full BMW warranty. Of that 1,700, fewer than 400 find their way to the States.

This latest 612-horsepower $140,000 Alpina B8 Gran Coupe is the purest of the three. Without a doubt, it is the most coveted performance BMW in production.

Yes, there’s a 617-horsepower M8 Competition Gran Coupe that’s faster, more hardcore, and around $10,000 cheaper. But what the Alpina delivers is staggering performance paired with true luxury, refinement, and exclusivity.

See it out on the street and the B8 is instantly recognizable, with those trademark 20-spoke, 21-inch Alpina alloys wrapped in custom Pirelli rubber. They demand just about as much attention as the bright, cobalt-blue brake calipers ready to clamp down on rotors the size of XXL pizzas.

Bodywork updates include a reworked front bumper with bigger, air-gulping intakes and a new lower apron sporting that distinctive Alpina script. At the rear, there’s a sleek decklid spoiler and a quartet

POWER FILE

PRICE: FROM $139,900 ENGINE: 4.4-LITER TWINTURBO V8 POWER: 612 HP TORQUE: 590 LB-FT TRANSMISSION: 8-SPEED AUTOMATIC 0-60: 3.3 SECONDS TOP SPEED: 201 MPH LENGTH/WIDTH: 200/76 INCHES WEIGHT: 4,831 POUNDS WHY WE LOVE IT: BECAUSE IT COMBINES SPEED

of fire-breathing ovoid tailpipes attached

AND STYLE IN A HIGHLY

EXCLUSIVE PACKAGE. to an Alpina-developed exhaust. When it comes to the paint job, there are 13 colors to choose from, but why would anyone stray from the trademark Alpina Green Metallic of our test car or the equally gorgeous Alpina Metallic Blue?

Inside, it’s all glove-soft Merino leather and black walnut trim, plus an almost comically thick Alpina wheel with signature blue and green stitching. A somewhat odd addition is the laser-etched crystal glass shift knob embossed with the Alpina logo.

But it’s the beating heart under the hood that makes this Alpina Gran Coupe so special. While it’s the same twin-turbo 4.4-liter V8 used in the standard 850i Gran Coupe, Alpina ups the horsepower to 612. More importantly, max torque increases to a mighty 590 pound-feet. That’s 37 lb-ft more than the track-focused M8 Competition Coupe packs.

T h e B 8 i s q u i c k — a s i n s t a n d s t i l l t o 6 0 i n 3 . 3 s e c o n d s , w i t h f o r w a r d m o t i o n n o t c e a s i n g u n t i l t h e s p e e d o n e e d l e i s s h o w i n g 2 0 1 m p h . C o u p l e d t o a n A l p i n a - p r o g r a m m e d 8 - s p e e d Z F a u t o m a t i c , s h i f t s a r e l i g h t n i n g f a s t a n d l i g h t - s w i t c h r e s p o n s i v e . B u t t h e q u i r k y b u t t o n s i n s t e a d o f t h e s t o c k B M W p a d d l e s h i f t e r s a r e j u s t p l a i n s i l l y a n d a n e x a m p l e o f c h a n g e f o r t h e s a k e o f c h a n g e .

Back on the plus side, Alpina’s tuning wizards scattered their pixie dust all over the stock suspension, active anti-roll bars, xDrive allwheel drive, and rear-wheel steering to ensure the B8 corners like it’s running on invisible rails. But what truly sets the car apart is the stellar quality of its ride. Whereas the M8 Competition Gran Coupe will chatter teeth and jiggle eyeballs, the Alpina soaks up lumps and bumps with astonishing alacrity. «

Performance with refinement. What a concept.