PCS Literary Magazine, January 2021 by pcslitmag

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Table of Contents Cover Art - Audrey Zhang Theme: Identity Letter From the Editor - To My Fourth Grade Journal - Faith Jacobs - Palate Cleanser -Sascha Feinburg - Decay - Dashiell del Barco - I run into Medusa on the One Train - Jordan Ferdman - Notes on Cinema - Toby Irikura - Untitled - Victoria Nezaj - Fade Into - Victoria Nezaj - Interview With Hideo Kojima- Toby Irikura - i make clones - Sascha Feinburg - The Land of the Free? - Ms. Caroline Holder - Untitled #1 - Zsofi Markus - Someone I Love - Clara Cantor - The Sweetness of Summer - Audrey Zhang - Face Sellers -Sascha Feinburg - Untitled #2 - Zsofi Markus - 你聽得到嗎？Thank you, can you hear me? - Joanne Lin - How Do You Say Goodbye - Elizabeth Cuite Masthead 1

“He not busy being born is busy dying.” -Bob Dylan 2

Letter from the Editor

opportunity to figure out who we truly

are, which is central to this year’s first

Dear Readers,

issue of the magazine. What we’ve

decided to focus on this year was the

Welcome to the January 2021 issue of

question of identity.

Professional Children’s School Literary

It’s by no means an easy

Magazine. Since the beginning of the

question, and some might deem it even

school year, we’ve all felt the effects

impossible to answer. But it is a

and dangers of Covid-19. Whether it

fundamental question that every person

was not being able to see family or

asks and must ask themselves at some

friends, or simply feeling isolated and

point in their lives. Am I who I say I am?

disconnected from the world around us,

Do I want to be doing this right now? Is

2020 wasn’t an easy year for anybody.

this what I will dedicate a substantial

And this is not even including the

amount of my life to? Be it any form of

mass social unrest that we’ve seen. The

artist or any creative minds, we all have

murder of George Floyd, the storming

doubts. But those doubts are necessary

of the US capitol, just to name a few.

and only make us stronger. And one

This year has filled us with doubt,

must think even further than their only

anxiety, and anger. And more than

life, asking such questions as how they

anything, this year has given us the

want to be remembered, or how to

leave the world a better place than it

and always expanding. We humans are

was when they were born.

nothing but fear in a handful of dust.

Contrary to popular belief, most

So why do we keep going? Why

humans are incredibly insignificant.

do we keep going at our tasks and

Think about it, really question, do you

passions when one day one must face

matter to anyone besides maybe an

the fact that we will die, and everybody

insignificant amount of people on this

we know and love will also die? We do

earth with almost eight billion people on

it for ourselves. We do it in a hope to

it? If you fell off the earth would the

understand our thoughts and our

world still go on? And don’t say that it

instincts. We do it out of fear and

wouldn’t. People are much, much, more

discovery. And to know ourselves, and

insignificant than our brains trick us into

to know others, to make the world a

believing. And no, you’re not special,

better place for others, gives us

there’s always somebody better than

purpose and a goal to strive towards.

you, somebody more attractive than

Welcome to this issue of the PCS

you, someone more talented than you,

Literary Magazine.

there’s always someone better. I play

Cello, there are probably more than a

million people that are better than me

-Toby Irikura, Editor-in-Chief

and will be better than me if I choose to

go professional. This universe is infinite,

To My Fourth Grade Journal By Faith Jacobs Spiral bound, and smooth. Orange, and partially-blank with possibility. I haven’t written anything, at least not anything original, in it for nearly five years. Besides the occasional phone number or name of a song I couldn’t commit to my short-term memory right away, the remaining pages were empty. However, the other half of my journal is littered with stories of magical horses and ballet choreography set to Twilight inspired alt-pop songs. Its significance in my life began as the very first thing I’d ever

as monetarily bountiful as my classmates. We had enough to get us through, and very rarely any extra. When the book fair came back around my fourth grade year, I was certain I’d have to endure another year feigning disinterest with the fascinating and fresh set of books but when my mother slid the ten dollar note between my fingers, I swore I was Oprah Winfrey. I bought that journal with my chin raised high and a gap-toothed grin. This journal was the promise of ideas new, things learned, and moments remembered. Mrs. Strohmetz’s fourth grade

been allowed to buy at the book fair.

classroom was a place of mystic

Growing up with a former soldier of war,

adventures, best friends, and incubating

back then, my father struggled to

ideas. To this day, I believe I am truly a

secure a job let alone one that made

creator because of that very room. It

tons of money. In short, times were not

was there that I met my best friends at

the time, Emma L. and Abigail B.

mapping out the character arcs of

Creatively, we were inseparable. If we

odd-toed ungulates with human

weren’t making trips to return and

tendencies. We focused on the details

collect books from Miss Lucy’s lovely

for days, even took turns taking home

library, we were in writing groups

the

journal to add more between piano

section. If I didn’t sneeze, or cough, or

lessons or ballet classes. If ideas were

breathe too much I could stay for hours.

dreams, this journal was a

After hours of seeking, I found

dreamcatcher.

desistance in finding a fresh page in

As a young child, my mind was an obsessive tornado with a sponge-like propensity to absorb. Ideas, songs, people, not one thing in existence was off limits for me. I’d spend hours in the West Chester Library kids section collecting data on numerous topics from the regency era to the newest developments in cancer treatment. Naturally I’d come across the occasional firewall, so I’d continue my

that journal to catalog my favorite facts. I’d also analyze the walls decorated and words spoken within my friend’s family homes. Play date after play date, I’d jot down along the way some of the things I’d most admired. How I wished to have been in the photos of Emma’s beautiful garden in Thailand or sit in Mrs. B’s traditional Korean chairs that were, for some reason, “only for looking and not touching”. If my mind w

online safari to the adult computer 6

ere a dinghy in a hurricane, this journal was an anchor. In various times throughout my youth, I found experiences overwhelming. As an only child dealing with the pesky woes of separation

found myself at a noticeable social deficit. I tended to prefer being alone most of the time, with a best friend or two as the exception. From fourth grade and on, my little crew of a few did more than

anxiety due to my father’s deployment, I suffice. We experienced new

I come across the orange journal of

things together. We celebrated each

yesteryear. My breath is taken instantly

other’s birthdays by decorating our

as its very existence reminds me of a

lockers and lived on the edge of danger

time much simpler than now. It’s filled

when we went to the mall without an

with misplaced photos now of times

adult. We shared our deepest darkest

spanning across recounted history. If

secrets in each other’s homes and

memories were apparitions, this journal

fought with each other mercilessly only

is and has become a haunted home.

to force ourselves to make up within minutes. All of these experiences were documented in the corners of whatever pages were free. Fast forward a few years, and as I’m sixteen and digging through the wooden chest of my history

My journal, as a symbol of the new, the learned, and the remembered, remains an item of tremendous attachment for me. The sight of the pages, thinly lined, carry me through the dimensions of time to the days when life 7

was most effortless. The good old days

person, could not have ever

weren’t quite old yet and the world

experienced the insurmountable

wasn’t quite so big yet. All the time

comfort and freedom of one’s journal

spent crafting the stories that make up

--of my journal.

this journal were so precious to me, and

remain a pleasant recollection. My

journal will forever be my safest space. Whoever said home isn’t a place but a

Palate Cleanser

“You keep it,” he says and hands you a

By Sascha Feinburg

hygiene baggie. “Special flossers,” he

Your dentist returns from the bathroom

says. “Dinosaur-shaped.”

and hands you a tooth, weighty and

You’ve always had bad teeth. As a kid

clean. Still wet. you brushed extra hard right before Your dentist has short fingers and long dental appointments, like cramming for nails. an exam. You leave your dentist's “You never learn,” he says. “Year after office. You stare at the tooth. You call year.” your fermenting Grandmother. “I’m sorry,” you say. “16 cavities,” you say. “Don’t apologize to me,” he says. Your “Karma.” dentist calls in his assistant. Your filling “Genetics.” appointments are scheduled. You “Your sister,” she says. realize you are still holding the tooth. Your twin sister has never had a cavity. You try to hand it back to him. You You hang up on your grandmother. notice a dash of bright blood on his blue striped shirt.

You ride the subway home, making no effort to steady your body as the car

lurches. You are holding your dentist’s

You wonder why your friends have

incisor, and you are certain that it is never complained about your breath. more pleasantly shaped than your You have three friends. You think them cursed one. You are certain that the substantive. Maybe you need friends dainty-fingered dentist’s incisor has who value honesty more. Maybe you never touched coffee or ice cream, let don’t have bad breath. Perfect breath alone coffee ice cream (your favorite). and rotten teeth. Your breath tastes like a graveyard, even after the cleaning. On the subway you look at faces and

Your dog had to have all of her teeth pulled last year. If she was someone else’s dog, you are sure this would not

wish you could reach into their mouths. have happened. If she was someone You wish you could steal their teeth. else’s dog, she would have had You do not do this. You reach into your perfectly healthy teeth. You calm own mouth. You run your finger along yourself by researching her breed. the front of your teeth, and when you They’re a weak toothed breed. extract it, it is covered in a thin, gelatinous glaze.

You wish you had drank milk as a child.

hair and in your eyebrows. You had

You wish you had flossed. You wish

head lice 23 times as a child. You

you had chewed more carefully. You

wonder how much blood those

wish you had learned to ride a pogo

shitheads stole from your brain. You

stick. To hula-hoop without getting a

wish your parents thought about you

cramp in your side. To walk on stilts. To

the way they think about your sister.

make cookies without getting hair in the

You wish your parents didn’t know

batter. You wish your moles didn’t grow

about your teeth.

back after you tried to pick them off.

You look at your dentist’s tooth. You

You wish you had no moles to try to want to lick that tooth. You want to pick off. You wish you had started a smash that tooth. You want to eat that Podcast in college on which you tooth. You want to crumble it into pretended you were Irish and 17 instead powder and drink it in your morning of American and 19. You wish you had protein shake. You want to know how a voice like Scarlett Johansson. You to start the day right. You wonder if you wish your pee smelled better and not are the first patient he’s ever given a like you solely eat asparagus. You wish you had never had head lice, in your

tooth to. You wonder if his teeth grow

three friends admire this about you. The

back like octopus tentacles.

dentist's bright white tooth has the dark

You ask your group chat of your only

room aglow. You cannot sleep. You can only stare. You know you need a picture

three friends: Have any of you ever had a cavity? No, two say. One, the other says. I’ve never had one, you lie. That must suck. Having to get a filling. I feel

of the way back bad tooth. Flash on, high definition. You conduct a photoshoot. You stick your phone, then your Canon EOS 250D, into your

full enough. mouth. You have a big mouth. A big There is one tooth, in particular. A tooth

mouth with big teeth. The photos are

with two cavities and a burgeoning

horrible. Unacceptable. Bad quality,

third. A back of the mouth tooth. You

blurry. You want to see holes. You hold

wonder if this tooth started it all,

the dentist’s tooth. It smells like

encouraged the others. You wonder

kleenex.

why your teeth want you to fail.

You go into your bathroom, dentist’s

Now you are in bed. Your sheets are

tooth in hand. You slap yourself awake.

crisp. You are surprisingly neat. Your

You feel scientific and full of purpose.

Your pale mouth smirks. Not for long.

You stumble to the sink. Too late. The

You grab your tweezer -- your favorite

lights are out. You faint.

one, pink and silver. The way-back bad

You wake. Your pink silk dentist-going

tooth is caught in the tweezer tongs. dress is bloody, your mouth swollen. You pull and pull. You are exhilarated You look like a beautiful monster. You and angry. Your ruined tooth is remember your mission. The dentist’s stubborn. Does it want to wait for the tooth and your own. Your tooth is third cavity, you wonder. You wonder if crusted over with purples and yellows it gets to your brain, that rotten stuff. and browns and greens, Decay. Wondering helps loosen things. complementary colors. Your tooth has You give a final pull, then another final dips and craters. His tooth is smooth. pull, then another. The roots cry out. You try to decide which is more You can hear them. Your heart beats in beautiful. your head, in your mouth. You pulsate. The tooth is dripping with blood,

You take selfies in your bloody silk

obscured by blood. You need to wash

dress, holding the two teeth. You take

the tooth, you need to see the tooth.

selfies with your mouth open, coaxing more blood from the bad tooth's former

home. Maybe you’ll post on Instagram

necklace ready, the holes are gratis.

for Halloween.

PLEASE NOTE: I’m only considering

The internet is a weird place.

offers of $30 and above. These are (both) the teeth of special people.

You decide to post on Quora to gauge

One of your friends finds the listing.

interest:

They send it in your group chat. You

If you’re seeing this, it’s a sign. You

should have known. They’re a Quora

should place a bid; it just might change

loving bunch, your friends.

your life. I have two human teeth. One

What kind of a person buys teeth?

molar, one incisor. One male, one

DISGUSTING. How did you find this???

female. One perfectly healthy, the other

What kind of a person sells teeth?? On

with two cavities. The one with cavities

Quora?! At least post to Depop, etc,

is uniquely patterned, and colored

etc. You chime in when appropriate.

similarly to the cover of the Folger

Ew, you write. Freaky. Your mouth

Library edition of Twelfth Night. Both

hurts.

teeth are big and beautiful and necklace

Your listing garners attention. People

worthy-- the one with cavities is are offering you money, lots of it.

People want your rotten tooth, your

You get an email from your dentist a

dentist's perfect one. Kevin Clark, few days later: former salesperson at Healthy Living,

Mark Circa; Mcirca@dbydentistry.com

comments: Wow! Amazing! What a

To: me

unique pairing! Hi Adele, You sell the teeth to Frances Lackie for

I look forward to seeing you this

$300 plus shipping. Two cavity fillings

Tuesday, and the Tuesday after that

paid for. You appreciate the irony.

and so forth.

Frances Lackie pays you via Venmo,

Please bring my tooth with you.

and captions the payment solely with

All the best,

the tooth emoji. She chooses the public

Mark

payment option.

Decay, Mixed Media: Ink, Soft Gel Matte, Watercolor, and Magazine Clippings on Bristol Paper, 2020 Dashiell del Barco

Someone I Love:

was precious, and now we are creating

By Clara Cantor

a powerful bond as she reciprocates my

love. Currently, her favorite game is for

We all crave love-- to be loved, to love

me to run around the white bean bag

yourself, to love your life and what you

with a rolling duck while she chases me

do each day. While I find myself saying

around and laughs. She is continuously

"I love you" to many different people,

copying me, brushing her teeth and

my idea of love was transformed when

washing her hands about 500 times a

my little sister, Ashton, entered my life.

day (thanks corona). Now that I’m

Two years ago, I dashed out of bed in

seventeen, and on the verge of

the middle of the night to meet her in

adulthood, life scares me as much as it

the hospital. I have always wanted a

excites me. Everything feels heavier,

sibling, and holding her for the first time

more serious, but playing with her is a

brought a new dimension to my

fresh escape. She reminds me to keep

concept of love. Though I am not a

my worries at bay and hold on to my

mother yet, I care about her in maternal

youthful energy. Each day, she seems

ways. She keeps a little piece of

to grow exponentially, always surprising

childhood alive. During the pandemic,

me with new thoughts. My memories

she comforted me as we watched

with her are just beginning. I will go

movies or read books that sparked

through my life loving Ashton forever.

memories hidden deep. As a baby, she

The Sweetness of Summer, Watercolor and Acrylic on Paper, 2020 Audrey Zhang

i make clones By Sascha Feinburg i make clones for a living clothes dolls sometimes dogs (the process is squeaky, synesthetic) often I clone myself in the dark (enjoying the stretch past duality, dreaming of seeing my face on a dress) afterwards i curse them (us) that is unless We are singing and dreaming and crying and hugging one another (unfortunately me and all my selves are still afraid of ghosts)

The Land of the Free?, Mixed Media, 2019 Ms. Caroline Holder

Untitled #1, Oil Pastel, 2020 Zsofi Markus 21

Face Sellers By Sascha Feinburg chewing on cheek insides i am searching the web for a new face a jenga face of perfect bones (i avoid ikea, never prone to Self Assembly) the face sellers have a disclaimer (naturally) new face may not conceal id ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? is that a typo like drunk ps from your ex-lover who could never really spell i almost file a complaint (upper left hand corner of the site) because i know that for this much money i should be allowed to escape whatever id i s here is what i am really wondering: (what is gonna happen when they train robots to take those “humanity confirming quizzes” i doubt that is what they are called because psychopaths are definitely good -- great -- at identifying bridges) a pop up (with a diiiiiiiiing) and i am back (sites notifications are awesome it’s almost as if someone texted me!!!!!) USE CODE : THANKGD4MYNEWFACE for 10% off 22

i proceed to check out and enter the code (my almost-former cheeks are flushed)

Untitled #2, Soft Pastel, 2020 Zsofi Markus

I Run Into Medusa on the Train By Jordan Ferdman The One Train takes roughly 32 minutes to travel from Van Cortlandt Park to 79th and Broadway. I find the emptiest car and only use one earbud. Sometimes, I see a classmate or a teacher and do not know if their presence makes me feel safer. Do not know if I want my math teacher to see men see me. Joan of Arc sits across from me on the One Train. She glances towards me and does not smile, but we see each other and that feels like enough. My commute is transitionary, from school to home, and I worry that my trepeditation is stagnant. That the price for the subway will always be more than $2.75, that I will also have to pay with jackets that cover my body and headphones so I can pretend not to hear. When I was younger, I loved the train and loved that I could not understand it. I could not quite wrap my head around the fact that underneath the sidewalks, the playgrounds, the street corners, there was a pulsing maze that knew exactly where

I wanted to go. My mother would hold my shoulder on the platform as the train drew into the station and remind me that we were waiting for the train with the orange “one” on the front. But why? Why can’t we take this one? The A train looks so lonely. No one is on it. When I was nine, a family friend chased me around the house with a pocket knife. He proudly showed it to me and my cousins and told us that it was a gift from his father. He laughed and laughed and my little cousin held back her tears. She always wanted to be one of the big kids. There are two men and they are staring at me. They smell like marijuana and entitlement and I try to busy myself by texting a friend. It is January and I am suddenly very warm. I uncross my legs briefly and then worry that open legs will give them an idea. I cross them again, quickly, and place my backpack on my lap. I think about Dr. Christine Blasey Ford often. I call her “Christine” in my head and make

it a point to refer to her as “Dr. Ford” out loud. I received my mid-semester grades a few days ago and am overwhelmed with the urge to show the report to these men, desperate for a set of numbers to represent me instead of what I am wearing. The men laugh again, this time a bit louder. Joan of Arc has gotten off at Dyckman Street, shooting me a quick glance before she exited. I force myself to focus on the door and I think of Ophelia drowning. In Millais’ painting, she does not gasp for breath. She resigns herself and I wonder if it is better to picture her as faceless or as Millais’ painting. I wonder if Ophelia thinks she is as beautiful as these men want her to be. I wonder if she crosses her legs on the One Train. I took my first self-defense class when I was eleven and still do not think I would be able to protect myself. I switch cars per my friend’s suggestion. I hold the door open for another commuter who smiles at me, and I wish I was as magnanimous as he thinks I am. In the new train car, more crowded, I do not even notice Medusa until she coughs. The

men have followed me and are now in the transitional area between cars. I am scared to look at Medusa –– scared to see either pity or apathy. Scared to be cemented, scared that I will always be on this train, trying not to cry. “I’m so sorry, but those men are following me. Can I sit next to you?” My theatre teacher tells me to record myself singing and I cannot stand the sound of my own voice reaching for high notes that I’ll never quite hit. I hate my voice now, the way it is somehow both wavering and exasperatingly loud. I do not want the men to hear me and I do not want to hear myself. My mother once told me to stop up-talking, ending my sentences in question marks. It became easier to pretend the thought was always a question –– I’m not sure, but I think the answer is 7? I could definitely be wrong, though. “Oh, yes, of course. I noticed that they were laughing. Come sit.” Up close, Medusa is beautiful. She was beautiful from far away as well, scrolling on her phone, but there is beauty in protection. I chew on ice while I study for my math tests and I feel like there is hail between my molars. “Would you like to get up and change cars?” 25

I nod, try to choke out an explanation about how this was my second car of the trip and we hadn’t even reached Columbia. Medusa nods. She does not look at me directly –– instead, she looks over my head at the men. They have not made eye contact with her; they are experiencing a shared joy, heads thrown back in laughter. My fear is an inside joke between them. Margaret Atwood has probably written something about this. We stand up and move to another car. She suggests that I walk in front of her, and I know it’s so the men won’t stare at me. I did not eat lunch and I want to throw up. My friend’s school uniform is a plaid skirt that ends just above her knees. She does not like public transportation. “Okay, this is better,” Medusa says with a smile once we are in the new car. Her hair is tucked under a hat and I wish she would take it off. I want to be frozen in this moment, newfound fear and safety and protection. They follow us. This time, one of the men holds up his phone and snaps a photo. Medusa

speaks to them for the first time and she threatens to call the police. They laugh but do not follow. They are not stationary but far away is the next best thing. I want for contrite to be heavy on their limbs. I want them to struggle to sleep tonight. My appreciation feels too bulky to name. It feels like an act of rebellion not to cry. I want Medusa to hold my hand. Her stop is 103rd but she stays with me until 79th and refuses to let me pay for her trip back uptown. She says something smart and poetic about looking after each other and I feel like Persephone, confined to the underworld.

Notes on Cinema: What's Japanese

world of filmmaking and storytelling as

and What's Not According to White

a whole.

People By Toby Irikura

About fourteen years Kurosawa’s senior, Kenji Mizoguchi was another

major Japanese director working in an

Perhaps the most famous

earlier time period. He directed some of

Japanese filmmaker to come out of the

the most beautiful movies ever made

twentieth century, Akira Kurosawa was

(not in a Wong Kar-wai kind of sense)

born in the year 1910 and died in 1998.

and his crowning achievement Ugetsu

His films Rashomon, Yojimbo, Seven

received universal acclaim from film

Samurai, and High and Low1 have since

critics and filmmakers alike. His other

become classics in world cinema and

well known works include Sansho the

are generally considered to be some of

Bailiff a nd The Life of Oharu. Mizoguchi

the greatest films ever made. His films

was especially interested in the themes

changed my perspective on many

of misogyny in Japanese culture as well

things; I credit him for jump starting my

as the raging nationalism prevalent in

interest in arthouse and world cinema.

the early to mid Shōwa era. This is

He is without a doubt one of my favorite

evident in his film adaptation of

filmmakers and he revolutionized the

Chūshingura. During the same period, Yasujirō Ozu was making some of the best,

There are many more fantastic Kurosawa films, these are just the ones off the top of my head. 1

most innovative films, but he received

Three directors, all distinctly

less acclaim from critics. However, he is

Japanese. All loved by the film

universally loved by filmmakers and

community. However, which director’s

everyone who considers themselves a

work truly embodies the “spirit” of

cinephile. His use of camera placement,

Japan? The answer, I believe, is all of

slow pacing, the lack of tracking shots,

them and none of them.

and his ability to articulate generational

French New-Wave director

gaps in a fractured society led to his

Jacques Rivette and the rest of the

acclaim and recognition as one of the

Cahiers du Cinéma2 (such as Jean-Luc

most accomplished Japanese

Godard) famously did not consider

filmmakers. Nevertheless his name

Kurosawa to embody the true spirit of

remains obscure to many westerners.

Japan, favoring the works of Ozu and

His film Tokyo Story is considered to be

Mizoguchi. And for some fucking

one of the finest examples of Japanese

reason, the world of cinema listened.

cinema. In 2012, it was voted as the

best movie of all time in a poll of

Unsurprising.

directors for Sight & Sound magazine.

Roger Ebert listed Ozu’s film, Floating

White dudes in the filmmaking

Weeds, in his list of the ten greatest

world who are not Japanese claiming to

movies of all time.

know what the true spirit of Japan is. A pretentious, overblown, sensationalized Magazine known as where hack director Jean-Luc Godard got his start. 2

We find this in practically every field,

(Mizoguchi and Ozu) were the only true

from literature, to fine arts and music. It

Japanese filmmakers?

is evidence of the hyper-westernization

My instant answer is stationary

of cinema, and the idea that Europeans

shots. In Kurosawa’s films, the camera

have achieved supreme filmmaking and

is quite dynamic, moving with the

are entitled to write about what kind of

actors and playing an own sentient

movie describes a certain era or

being of sorts. The “westernization” of

country.

Kurosawa had begun by adopting this

This is a ballsy statement specifically for somebody from the French New-Wave group. The French

(fairly obvious) technique from western cinema. On the other hand, Mizoguchi

New-Wave filmmakers focused on

and Ozu are far more stationary. The

pretentiousness and breaking cultural

camera moves very little and everything

norms at the sacrifice of quality, which

that is essential is covered in one shot.

lead to deeply annoying films that are

If you watch an Ozu film or Mizoguchi

“new” and “cool” just for the sake of

film at any point, pay attention to how

being new and cool3.

the camera switches perspectives each

But, let’s analyze for a second

time somebody speaks. Another thing

and try to answer this question: What

that is favored by Ozu are “pillow

made these fuckers think that these

shots”, seemingly random shots held

My favorite examples that I always tell people are Breathless by Jean-Luc Godard and Jules and Jim b y François Truffaut. I hate both of these films with a passion. 3

for a few seconds focusing mainly on

and Sanjuro5, and he made adaptations

inanimate objects. Here is an example:

of western books such as

Dostoyevsky’s The Idiot and Shakespeare’s King Lear into Japanese films. Both of these films are brilliant, but I have to say that the King Lear adaptation Ran might be his best film. But Kurosawa was certainly not

alone in the fact that the West influenced his films. Many of Ozu’s

postwar works focus on American

Stationary shots, short stills, and

consumerism making its way into

long takes. It’s an odd thing to center

Japan. Here is a not-so-subtle

on but nonetheless mainly consistent in

example:6

these films.

The main criticism of Kurosawa that I tend to hear is that his filmmaking style

is much too influenced by the West.

There is undoubtable western influence

evident in the two two films Yojimbo

From Ozu’s film Late Spring, released in 1949.

Fun fact: Sergio Leone remade Yojimbo a s a western starring Clint Eastwood without getting approval from the Japanese production company, and it was rebranded as A Fistful of Dollars. I actually quite like the film, and it’s worth comparing the two. But that is for another time. 6 Again from Ozu’s film L ate Spring, released in 1949.

Japanese culture has always been the same since the beginning of time. People neglect to realize that Japanese culture is rapidly changing. It’s been influenced by the West since the end of

Out of all the three, Mizoguchi is the exception. He consistently sets his films (e.g.Ugetsu, Sansho the Bailiff, The Life of Oharu) in a pre-industrialized Japan. His filmmaking distinctly captures a certain time period, while still commenting on the societal status of 20th century Japan. Kurosawa is usually criticized for his “western influence”. However, the sentiment that Kurosawa is distinctly western among Japanese filmmakers are usually propagated in the West by white people and is rarely ever held by Asians and Asian-Americans. I really don’t understand the notion that

the Sakoku period and after the end of World War II. Even film itself was a western invention. Still, Japanese cinema is not necessarily a product of the West. So why is Kurosawa considered less Japanese than the filmmakers mentioned? Because his films take place in a Japan influenced by the West? Because of camera movement? The West views Japanese people and culture as very reserved and subtle. When Kurosawa came out with a movie like Rashomon o r Seven Samurai w ith very outlandish characters (usually played by Toshiro Mifune), it shattered

western assumptions of Japanese

culture and spirit of a country.” And

reservation. In their eyes, Asians were

Rivette and Godard decided to do that

supposed to be “mysterious” and

when talking about Japan, because

“otherworldly”.

apparently camera movement and lone

But that was the problem.

hero stories belong only to the West.

Kurosawa and Mifune represented a

It’s a very European view. Seldom have

different style of Japan. One that was

I heard of a movie produced in the West

affected by American culture and

where someone says “Well that isn’t

imperialism. Kurosawa’s films are the

really reminiscent of the country that it

representation of postwar Japan and

was made in.”

western imperialism. Western culture

Nobody speaks of a Godard or

had become embedded in Japanese

Rivette film and says “Well that wasn’t

culture, and Kurosawa took advantage

really French culture, was it?” There

of that. You can tell by the raging jazz

happens to be a double standard,

music and the procedural style of High

where the West takes responsibility for

and Low, and in the spaghetti western

things made in the east. The general

influence in films like Yojimbo.

thought was that if Kurosawa was

Japanese culture doesn’t start

hailed as a great director, it surely must

and end at a certain point. People don’t

have been because of his western

sit down and say “if a culture has X then

influences.

it is no longer reminiscent of the true

To take this another step

The history and study of cinema

forward, the French new wave crew

must be radically changed. Filmmaking

thought that Mizoguchi was the

is an art form that is still constrained by

superior filmmaker, and that only his

the past. It is in this way that film

films were truly Japanese and universal.

mirrors other fields, such as classical

Must filmmakers from Asia and other

music, art, or literature. These fields too

parts of the world make films that

are historically very white and

western Europeans can understand and

eurocentric.

appreciate? Do they always have to be satisfying the (generally white) “greats”? Sadly, this is the reality of the film

The only way to change the narrative and norms of cinema is to radically reconsider and revise what we

canon. It is determined by Europeans,

think of as Japanese culture. It has

by people with power, who are

been perverted and destroyed by the

overwhelmingly white and dated. And

West (most specifically the United

we must try to break away from the

States), which views Japan as a country

canon. Beyond positing themselves as

of Anime and consumer goods. We

the arbiters of what is great cinema,

must destroy the lens in which we view

they consider themselves to be experts

Japan. Our perspective has been

on what is “culturally authentic”, even in

warped by imperialism and capitalist

foreign cultures.

desire. It is time now to smash the atomized eurocentric view of the world

and consider different perspectives from people not living in the West. To answer the question “who is the most Japanese filmmaker of all time” would be an idiotic task and a waste of time. No culture can be distilled to such an essence that the West can perfectly define it.

Untitled, Photography, 2020 Victoria Nezaj

Fade Into, Acrylic and Charcoal, 2020 Victoria Nezaj 36

Interview With Hideo Kojima By Toby Irikura

Over the summer I had a very exciting

written, or some combination of the

opportunity to ask one of the giants of

groundbreaking auteur of video games.

the video gaming industry a few

He has long been associated with the

questions about the future of gaming,

Konami corporation, but he departed in

art, and his latest game Death

2015 after nearly thirty years to pursue

Stranding. That giant is none other than

other interests7. Since then, he has

Hideo Kojima. Hideo Kojima has a

re-formed his company, Kojima

fascinating career that spans the course

Productions, as an independent video

of some 34 years; he is perhaps best

game development studio partnered

known as the mastermind behind the

with Sony Computer Entertainment. T he

Metal Gear s eries, all of which he has either designed, produced, directed,

four. He is widely considered to be a

There is much speculation as to why Kojima left the company, but I don’t want to dispense misinformation and I believe this is a matter to be left to Kojima himself. 7

first game that Kojima Productions

the game calls it, the United Cities) onto

released after their departure from

one big network. Along the way, you

Konami was the open-world action

must defend yourself from half-dead

game Death Stranding, first in

monsters called BTs (short for Beached

November 2019 as a PlayStation

Things), terrorists, and MULEs (basically

exclusive, then for PC on July 14th,

rogue deliverymen who aim to steal

2020.

your cargo). Your main enemy, Higgs, is Death Stranding h as already

trying to use BTs to destroy the last

been recognized as one of the decade’s

remnants of society. It is up to you to

best video games. The game stars

reconnect America and to destroy the

Norman Reedus, Guillermo del Toro,

impending threat.

Mads Mikkelsen, Léa Seydoux, Troy

I know this all seems incredibly

Baker, Tommie Earl Jenkins, Margaret

complicated, but the game really does

Qualley, and Lindsay Wagner, among

make a lot more sense once you’ve

others.

played it a couple times.

The story is something along the

When I first started playing Death

lines of this: you play a delivery man

Stranding, I was not a huge fan of video

named Sam (Norman Reedus) after a

games (only playing a couple such as

semi-apocalyptic event called the Death

Skyrim a nd Portal) and didn’t consider

Stranding, and you are given the task to

them to be a valid art form or an

connect the entire United States (or as

engaging storytelling medium. Death

Stranding completely changed my

about the nature of art. In a rapidly

perspective. The game is deeply

transforming digital age, we must

realistic, and half the time it feels as if

accept technology’s influence and its

you are experiencing an interactive

ability to redefine art and culture.

movie. It also incorporates the thought

of Schopenhauer and Nietzche, and

references what is commonly known in

particle physics as the Grand Universal

Q: Do you consider Death Stranding

Theory. For the first time, it feels like

to be your personal masterpiece?

somebody has created a video game

which makes us think and question the

world around us. Hideo Kojima has

(1987), to the latest, Death Stranding

managed to craft a fantastic,

(2019), I have created each game as if it

commercially successful, accessible

were the very last, putting in all my

piece of art. And there is no other game

effort every time. I dive into every

that compares. With its theme of human

process, from the initial concept to the

connection in a fractured society, it is

game design, ideas, story,

the perfect game in the time of

performance, game adjustments,

COVID-19.

directing, and producing; this takes a

From the first title, Metal Gear

I hope that this interview makes

great amount of energy. The father of

readers question their preconceptions

the Spaghetti Western, Sergio Leone,

said back in the day that, “Creating one

interested in the connections

movie takes five years off one's life,"

between different art forms.

and I feel that this process is much the

same. Even when working on sequels to

a title, rather than considering what will

come after, I only focus on creating in

every single day. I always wanted to go

the moment with everything I have in

to art school and become a painter, but

me, all so at the end I can say that I

as you can see, that dream never

would be satisfied even if it was my last

happened… I love books and read all

title. So having said that, to me, every

kinds of books too. Novels, classics,

title has been the next personal

literature, entertainment, mysteries,

masterpiece. For Death Stranding t oo,

hardboiled crimes, horror, science

yes, I think I could personally call it a

fiction, noir, adventures... really, all

masterpiece, as I put into it all my

kinds of books. I do read Japanese

experience and technology gained from

authors, but I think I might read

creating games over the years.

international authors (in translation)

more. From the US, UK, greater Europe

I interact with art in all forms

and Scandinavia, as well as greater

Q: What inspirations did you take

Asia, these authors are all translated

from literature, art, and music? As a

into Japanese, so I really read a bit of

musician myself I am particularly

everything.

I also love movies, so I try to

Unlike what some people say for

watch movies from around the world,

Hollywood films, I don’t get inspired by

and at least one per day. I also like to

a certain movie and watch it over and

visit art exhibits on weekends, anything

over, or study how it is shot very

from Impressionism to Modern Art, as

thoroughly. Every day of every week I

well as museums, since I love history

absorb many things, and when I digest

and science. Of course, it is a shame

them, they come out from me through

but we cannot do so lately due to the

the art I create. Whether through the

current coronavirus situation...

music in my games, the way I visualize

Music may be one medium where I only

them, or even the storytelling. This is

listen to a particular kind. I still love

how it all comes out. So, sometimes, an

listening to the British alternative rock

art painting is captured in my head, and

that I listened to back in the 80's when I

it comes out while I am conceptualizing

was younger. I do listen to similar kinds

some new scene.

of music from the US or UK, but I must

say that my range in music is rather

narrow. I don’t listen much to Japanese

Q:You have said that Death Stranding

popular music or classic music. I do

is the first “strand” game. What did

want to change and listen to a wider

you mean by this?

variety of genres, but I currently do not.

Death Stranding i s a game that

you think the game reflects our

connects (strands) people, and

desire to find meaning in our

connects the world. Currently, our world

relationships with other people?

has a tendency towards division, even

though we are connected all over

through the internet. It is an era of

you traverse a vast wasteland, and do

individualism, with people fighting and

so all by yourself. As a result, players

slandering each other, something now

feel a sense of loneliness playing the

further exacerbated by the coronavirus

game. But after reaching a certain point,

situation isolating us even more. I

they realize that they share an indirect

wanted to express the notion that

connection with other players from all

humans are a species that cannot be

around the world via the Social Strand

completely isolated, but rather one that

System (SSS). In this system, your

is connected together in some form.

journey is influenced by others' actions

Setting that as the game's theme, I then

just as your actions influence theirs, and

went on to create the characters,

thus the player comes to realize that the

episodes, and story.

world of Death Stranding i s really

created only through these indirect

Q: You said in interviews that Death

interactions.

Stranding is all about connecting with other people. In what way do

Death Stranding i s a game where

Whether you are isolated as a result of the coronavirus situation, or a

lonely type with not many

Q: Is the relationship that Sam has

acquaintances, or someone who has

with BB8 a reflection upon raising

recently experienced the loss of a family

children of your own?

member, you are nevertheless

connected to someone, somewhere in

the world. As long as you are here living

too. The emotions I experienced while

in it. In this modern age, you'd have to

raising them surely did have an effect.

move to the North Pole and cut off all

Similarly, my relationship with my

your internet connections if you truly

parents also had an impact on the

want to be isolated. Even astronauts or

connection between Sam and BB. That

scientists living in space are connected

said, I of course did not have a

to the people down on Earth, and so on.

particular personal episode in mind

These connections will continue for as

when creating the game. But when you

long as human society exists--for those

think and write about the connection

who feel lonely or isolated, you need

with your children, it is essentially the

not worry.

same as writing about the connection

with your parents.

Yes, I think so. I have children,

A BB (short for Bridge Baby) is a semi-manufactured baby stranded between the world of the living and the world of the dead. It is used by the player to detect BT’s, and although attachment to BB’s is highly discouraged, Sam manages to develop a special connection with his. 8

Q: Did you feel that you had greater

passed the corporate approval process

artistic freedom designing this game

were you given a green-light to go,

as an independent company rather

which took a long time. I'd say that this

than with Konami?

is one of the issues involved with larger

firms in Japan. Ever since I opened an

What I am doing actually is no

independent studio, these issues have

different from when I was working in

virtually disappeared--I can quickly

Konami, since I work on both sides:

make decisions, get things moving, and

game creation and business

as a result the development work

management. However, in Konami my

moves efficiently as well. That said, for

time was taken up by things other than

DEATH STRANDING, it is necessary to

my own titles and projects, such as

receive approvals from our client SIE

marketing meetings, events, or HR

(Sony Interactive Entertainment).

tasks. Now, I can concentrate solely on

my projects.

Q: Why do you think Video Games are

not considered an art form in the Though I was a board member in

eyes of the traditional critical

Konami, I always had to go through an

establishment?

approval process for many things since

it was not possible to make direct

because games are not acknowledged

decisions very often. Only when you

or highly acclaimed by older

I think this may be the case

generations. Perhaps they have not

Art, such as paintings, sculptures and

played as many games, or only know of

photos, become “art” when people see

classic 16bit games. At the same time

and are emotionally affected by them at

there are many simple, light pick-em-up

museums or galleries. If people do not

games out there, there are also many

see them, then paintings are just

games that could be considered art.

paintings. Art only becomes so when

The same goes for movies, TV

there is an audience to bear witness.

programs, and comics--these were all

You could say the same for interactive

considered "lowbrow" entertainment

games too. People need to play. They

when they first came out. In every era,

need to have fun, feel, think. When this

when a new media comes out, it is

happens, games will be considered an

attacked by older media, by

art form.

stubborn-minded critics. I think in the

near future, games will gain their

Q: What do you hope your legacy will

deserved reputation, especially because

be both as an artist and as a person?

games are interactive and come into

our lives differently than books, music,

or plays. Even today, so many visual

the hearts of players. I hope that the

creators and artists leading the industry

things I created will have been a

now are in their 20's to 40's and grew

positive encounter in their lives, and

up influenced by games.

that they receive some sort of plus or

I want to exist as a memory in

support by playing my games. Also, I

media. There will be no borders

hope that people seeing my work would

between

be inspired to create something of their

games,

own, like how I do when I see or read

movies,

the work of a creator I really like and get

books,

motivated to try and make something.

music…

I would be happy if there are people

Currently,

who strive to become artists or creators

we make

after playing my games. My mission is

games, but I would like to think about

to leave a mark, a footstep, for young

this upcoming trend and work on titles

people yearning to be future creators.

based on that as well. And not just

This is exactly the same as the

games, but also visual projects (movies

gameplay of Death Stranding (where

and dramas, animation) too. Even

you leave your footprints behind).

further, I would like to create something

that cannot be defined as a game or a

Q: What is next for Kojima

visual, something altogether new.

Productions?

Kojima Productions isn’t just a

outsource studio. So we are not

Kojima Productions i s an

thinking of taking existing IPs from

independent studio. In the near future,

others and creating sequels or remakes.

there will be an era of streaming on all

We would want to work on new

entertainment mediums and foster

original IPs, as we aim to be a creative

independent production studio.

Photos courtesy of KOJIMA PRODUCTIONS.

謝謝，你聽得到嗎?

林翔翎珍惜身邊的人事物我們永遠無法知道下一刻會發生任何事情也許2020逕自的走向悲觀但它教會了我們一件事「珍惜」永遠不嫌早每次這樣的話語總是為時已晚這也許是終點也是起點學會珍惜的起點善待身邊的每一個人不留下遺憾的活著看著妳一張張的純真照片總是想進一步認識妳告訴妳妳真的很可愛當猶豫不決時現實重重建下一道沉牆為時已晚再也沒有機會告訴妳沉思送給妳安心的去吧妳的朋友們會好好的認真的努力的熱情的繼續走下去如果妳聽得到請妳也繼續帶給大家歡樂謝謝每一個人的存在謝謝每一位曾經相遇的人謝謝你們點綴我的生命

謝謝 R.I.P. 致來不及成年的小天使-寧軒 Thank you, can you hear me? By Joanne Lin Cherish the people and things around you We will never know Anything may happen next moment Wonder where 2020 will go But it taught us one thing "Cherish" Never too early Such words Always too late May be the ending and the beginning The start of learning to cherish Kindness for all Go against regrets Missing your Innocence Always wanted to know you better To let you know, you deserve your cuteness But before deciding Reality sets the sinking wall Too late. No more chances. Dedicating my favorite piece to you Go with peace of mind Your friends will be strong 48

Earnest, hardworking, enthusiastic We're all together If you are still listening Please keep bringing joy to our life Thank you for the existence of every single person Thank you for the fate with every single person Thank you for delighting my life Thank you R.I.P. To the angel who didn't get a chance to grow up-Ning Shien

How Do You Say Goodbye by Elizabeth Cuite

What it's like to lose a friend, you can't even comprehend

The pain the sorrow and the fear of not

Small room bring lights, how do you say

having you near

goodbye?

I walk the path down to you, this is a

Crowded place filled with everyone you loved People who cared the most stayed with you in the night. How do you say goodbye,

place I never knew Now it's the place I'll be closest to you How do you say goodbye, To someone’s beautiful life?

To someone’s beautiful life?

How do you reach out, what is the right

How do you reach out? What is the

thing to say now?

right thing to say now?

I can't say goodbye, to your

On my way, it’s dark outside

extraordinary life.

Autumn was in the air the night that you died We get home late looks of sorrow’s on everyone's face and We’re a little confused, a little dazed, too lost in the haze. How do you say goodbye To someone’s beautiful life? How do you reach out? What is the right thing to say now?

Masthead Winter 2021 Editorial Team Editor-in-Chief - Toby Irikura Faculty Advisor - Mr. Jeffrey Laguzza Arts Editor - Audrey Zhang Prose/Poetry Editor - Valencia Hochberg Prose/Poetry Editor - Sascha Feinburg Prose/Poetry Editor - Joanne Lin 51

Contributors Upper School Faith Jacobs Sascha Feinburg Dashiell del Barco Jordan Ferdman Toby Irikura Victoria Nezaj Sascha Feinburg Zsofi Markus Clara Cantor Audrey Zhang Joanne Lin Elizabeth Cuite Staff Ms. Caroline Holder 52

“The real voyage consists not in seeking new lands but seeing with new eyes.” -Marcel Proust