Peach v2 i07 issuu by David Atlanta Magazine

Come Together The Couples Issue

Valentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Gay

Stop Apologizing If You Meant It Q-Music: Solos and Sides

Peach Reco: Love on the Rocks

GAGA PRESENTS

A Night with Queens United Atlanta WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

A Benefit for Queens United

Kat Graham Jason Dottley

Friday February 16, 8pm - 12am Park Tavern Phoenix • Victor Jackson • Alissah Brooks • Brie • And More!

$20/Entry & available at:

www.freshtix.com/events/gaga-presents-queens-united

Sponsored by

GAGA (GAY GEORGIA) Preserving cultural and landmark locations important to gay Georgia.

21 and over

CONTENTS

FEBRUARY 14, 2018

V2-07

PEACH ATL MEDIA, LLC 925B Peachtree St. NE, Suite 168 Atlanta, GA 30309 404.835.2016

OPERATIONS Jeff Anderson

Sales and Development Director

jeff@peachatl.com

EDITORIAL

Mikkel Hyldebrandt Editorial Director mikkel@peachatl.com Rodney Belcher Graphic Designer

rodney@peachatl.com

SALES

Andrea Dwyer andrea@peachatl.com Steve Tyrrell steve@peachatl.com

CONTRIBUTORS

From the Editor How do you nurture a relationship so it lasts and remains a loving union? There is no singular answer to that, but we did ask some pretty cool couples about their advice for a happy relationship. Check it out on pages 14-16. Jamie Kirk will tell you about how to be true in your intentions whether you want to be coupled or on your own, and if you’re the kind of couple that stays together because you work out together, Darren Floro-Bryant has some good tips in achieving fitness and health goals – together! Even Scott King, our newest edition to the Peach writing fold, chimes in on being out, proud, and visible when you go on your gay date in your gay relationship on Valentine’s Day (which is mainly a highly heteronormative affair).

James Hicks Gregg Shapiro Tony Kearney Casey Deynton Branden Lee Jamie Kirk

DISTRIBUTION Brian Harmon

NATIONAL AD REP Rivendell Media 908.232.202

Enjoy, Peaches! Mikkel Hyldebrandt Editorial Director

ONLINE

peachatl.com

At Distribution Points Across the City

SOCIAL

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The content of Peach ATL Media is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Peach ATL Media are not necessarily those of this publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through Peach ATL Media meets your specific requirements. Peach ATL Media is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to Peach ATL Media, including but not limited to articles, advertisements, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of Peach ATL Media may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the publisher. Unauthorized use of Peach ATL Media may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in Peach ATL Media is strictly at your own risk.

6 | 02.14.18

Joining Hearts’ Love on the Rocks Joining Hearts kicks off the season with Love on the Rocks; their annual cocktail party and the social event of the late winter season. This year the fundraising benefit will be held at one of Atlanta’s coolest event spaces, the Wimbish House on Peachtree, which will give the event the ambiance of the ‘old world’ in the most vibrant part of Midtown. The evening of drinks, food, and silent auction will raise funds for the HIV and AIDS community in Atlanta. To envelop everyone attending in the spirit of love and giving, specialty cocktails and expanded bar selection will be provided by Tito’s Handmade Vodka, and Sun In My Belly will pamper guests with delicious bites and desserts. On the entertainment side DJ Mike Pope will keep you moving with hot beats, and as a special highlight, Atlanta’s own Peaches will be doing an exclusive performance. Joining Hearts is a non-profit organization raising awareness and funds to provide care and housing assistance to people living with HIV/AIDS in Atlanta. Learn more at joininghearts.org. When: Sunday, February 18, 5-8pm. Where: The Wimbish House, 1150 Peachtree Street NE Admission: $45 in advance, $50 at the door, 21+ event, ID required. Tickets at joininghearts.org.

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NEW GAY IN TOWN: Come Out And Love Me By Branden Lee Branden Lee is a writer andactor now living in Atlanta. Follow Branden on Twitter and Instagram @Brandeness. and watch Branden on his YouTube channel SexxxPerTease.

T R O B I S

I came out of the closet when I was 15. I came out to my parents and most family members when I was 16. This year marked the 11-year anniversary of me coming out to my parents. My boyfriend just came out to his parents days ago.

B A R

ECLECTIC

V O T E D “ Midt o w n At lan t a’ s be s t n e igh bo rh o o d ge m ” “ At lan t a’ s be s t Am e ric an C o n t e m po rary f o o d”

TUE - SUN D INNE R S U N D AY BRUNC H H A P PY HO UR PR I V AT E P ART I E S C A T ERI NG

404-426-7728 www.eclecticbistroatlanta.com 1425 PIEDMONT AVE. NE, ATLANTA, GA, 30309

LOCATED BETWEEN THE ATLANTA BOTANICAL GARDENS & BOY NEXT DOOR 10 | 02.14.18

I’ve always understood that coming out is different for everyone. We’re all on different timetables of getting comfortable with ourselves, the gay community, and figuring out ourselves and our sexualities. I don’t judge others for not being out and proud. My boyfriend is a year younger than me, but I understand why it’s taken him longer to come out. He’s African. Gays are killed in Africa. He lives in the south. I’m a Northerner. The North is known for being more liberal, more open-minded, and more accepting. Atlanta is a gay hub. It’s basically the NYC of the south, where all the gays in surrounding states flock to Atlanta to live their most out and proud lives. Yet, since I’ve moved to Atlanta, it reminds me a lot of my hometown in the North. I expected that since I was moving to a city, I wouldn’t have to deal with so many DL gays that still lived at home with their families or roommates they weren’t out to, yet so many guys I’ve encountered in Atlanta are in the same situation. They’re not out of the closet, can’t host because who they live with has no idea they have sex with men and aren’t fully out.

I do think a major reason why it took me so long to have my first relationship is that I always fell for guys that aren’t out and aren’t comfortable with their sexualities. I always fell for the DL, closeted, confused, guys with girlfriends, etc. Probably because I’m a fem bottom and I’ve been brainwashed to chase after masculinity. What’s more masculine than a bi-curious guy with a girlfriend? Yet these guys that don’t know what they want and don’t know anything about the gay world aren’t exactly relationship material. I’m out and proud, I know who I am, and I know what I want. Ending up with guys that have no idea what they want and are new to same-sex exploration only leaves me lonely and constantly dumped by guys that are still figuring themselves out. I am thankful I was a teen in the 2000s. There were so many gay TV shows and movies to watch which helped me get comfortable with myself, see how much queer diversity there is in the world, and come to terms with my sexuality. I got to grow up watching Will & Grace, Queer As Folk, The L Word, and Noah’s Arc. Shows were showing me gays living in major cities, out and proud, dating, hooking up, having careers, and giving me something to look forward to as I got older and for when I escaped my hometown in suburban Pennsylvania.

Even now that I’m out and proud for many years, living in a major city, and finally have my first boyfriend, my boyfriend still is a baby gay. My boyfriend has been hooking up with guys longer than I have and has had more boyfriends than myself, yet actually integrating himself into the gay world is still new to him. Maybe I do like getting with guys that are new to exploring their sexualities and coming to terms with themselves because I know so much, and I like to impart that wisdom. I’ve always liked helping others come out, discover gay things, and learn more about the gay world. In theory, I should find someone that’s been out and proud for as long as I have. That knows who they are, and what they want. Someone that isn’t new to being gay, who is out to their family, and someone who’s home I can actually be welcomed in because everyone they live with knows and accepts their sexuality. I guess that’s just not my type. I always like to fall for the ones that are figuring themselves out, and I get to help them along in their journey into the gay abyss.

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WHISKEY & WIENERS

wednesdays

February 18, 2018 • 5:00PM - 8:00PM The Wimbish House 1150 Peachtree St NE $45 adv • $50@door 21+ • ID Required

Beats by DJ MIKE POPE Cocktails by

joininghearts.org

Keeping It Together By Mikkel Hyldebrandt

Whether newly coupled, together for years, or (close to getting) married, these couples should serve as an inspiration to us all. Peach talked to these amazing duos about how they met and what makes their relationship work – and they even offer valuable advice on an accomplished coupling.

Brandon Odom and Matthew Livingston Brandon and Matt met at a housewarming party for a mutual friend where they immediately bonded over bourbon and Studio Ghibli – they have now been together for one and half years. Matt is the General Manager of Mary’s in East Atlanta Village, and Brandon is a medical office manager and freelance musician. The adorable duo laughs a lot together – and also grab each other’s butts in public. A lot.

Brandon & Matt’s Couple Counsel

We are never afraid to be honest. Offer each other a safe space to talk and listen without judgment, no matter what you have to say

Thuy Nguyen and Ruthie Brown They met at a busy bar during Labor Day weekend two and a half years ago where Thuy said something like ‘you should give me your number… if you’re not scared.’ Challenge accepted, Ruthie wrote her number on a receipt and replied ‘you should pick that up before someone else does.’ The bartender and graphic designer duo keep it honest with each even though the truth is sometimes awkward.

Thuy & Ruthie’s Couple Counsel

Constantly remind your partner that you love them through your words and actions 14 | 02.14.18

EJ Jimenez and Jesse Furr EJ and Jesse met via the matchmaking site chemistry.com, and chemistry was definitely there because they have now been together for almost ten years. EJ works in finance and Jesse is an executive recruiter, and the say their strength is patience and working on what matters the most: their adorable son, their health, and their family.

EJ & Jesse’s Couple Counsel

Be flexible but know what you want in a relationship in the long-term. We both wanted to be parents, so that was our starting point to build our life

Stephen Michael Moleski and Michael Stewart The woofy couple met via Scruff, they’ve been together for two and a half years and are engaged to be married on 9.9.18. Stephen is a celebrity makeup artist, and Michael is a freelance videographer, and communication and making each other a priority is a primary strength of their relationship.

Lance Horsford and Chuhan Luo The handsome couple met three years ago this fall after chatting on Tinder, and the relationship has been pretty linear since then. They are now engaged and own a house together. Lance is a graphic designer for a telecom company, and Chuhan is a business analyst, and they focus on mutual respect and support, so whenever obstacles arise they focus on problem-solving and not blame attribution.

Stephen & Michael’s Couple Counsel

Don’t be distracted by outside influences

Lance & Chuhan’s Couple Counsel

Don’t try to manipulate each other for the relationship you think you want; show your hand and give him a chance to choose you

peachATL.com | 15

Chris Rigole and Kaleb Belastracci They met three years ago in the ‘old-fashioned way,’ which in this day and age, of course, means Scruff. Chris works in real estate, and Kaleb is in food service, and they make their relationship work by going with their own idea of what a relationship should look like. They’ve learned to embrace the parts they didn’t expect in a relationship and being open to new possibilities.

Chris & Kaleb’s Couple Counsel

Communicate! Talk, talk, talk it out! Unless you’ve had drinks, then STFU!

Frank Cortez and Angel Romero After meeting online six years ago, the couple got engaged last summer where Frank proposed to Angel in a castle in Spain (aw!). Frank helps families, that have been displaced from their homes due to disasters, find temporary housing, and Angel works as a supply chain consultant at a telecom company. They cuddle well together, which is fun, but also keeps them honest, demands proximity and makes them share and smile.

Frank & Angel’s Couple Counsel

When times are hard, there is always a rock. Sometimes you’ll be the rock, sometimes you’ll be changing to it.

16 | 02.14.18

HEALTH

AND

SEX BELONG TOGETHER

Healthysexuals

DON’T RUSH

You’ve got prevention options. Find what fits. VISIT AND TALK TO A HEALTHCARE PROVIDER

‘Foundation’ for Success Health & Fitness Goals in a Relationship By Darren Floro-Bryant

Every one of us has our own health and fitness goals, but how do you make these work when you are in a relationship? Working toward your goal on your own may be hard enough, but doing it in a relationship has unique challenges. What if your goals are the same? What if your goals are different? What if your approaches are different? There are many things you need to consider as a couple before deciding to work on your goals individually or simultaneously. Sometimes an understanding that you both approach goals differently is enough to help you progress together with your individual goals. Or, it’s possible that simply accepting and respecting that you need to do it on your own, with the support of your partner, will help you succeed in this journey. Here is one approach you can consider to help support one another on your path to improved health and fitness and work toward your goals together.

Recognize personality differences and address them, possibly creating a work around. 6. Come up with a game plan. • Create a schedule, time line, or something you can easily reference to keep you both on track. 7. Try to anticipate roadblocks or issues. • Is there an event that will put your progress on hold? Plan for it! • Do you frequently travel for work? Or have an upcoming vacation? Identify cravings or old habits that may sabotage your goals. For example, if one of you is trying to lose weight while the other is trying to add muscle, simply making dinner may be an issue you need to discuss in advance. 8. Establish check-ins, rules, and boundaries. • Agree on these ahead of time to help avoid conflict.

1. Talk with your partner about your goal and why it is important to you.

• Use tools or devices with alerts as a reminder to keep you both on task.

• Clearly define what your goal is.

9. Allow for a ‘misstep.’

2. What is the driving factor or motivation for your goal?

• Similar to roadblocks (#7), figure out ways to overcome these ahead of time

• Is it for medical or health reasons? • Is it for a specific event? • Is it for a healthier lifestyle? 3. Is this a shared goal? • Is it something you are both working towards? • Is it important to just one of you? 4. Discuss how you are going to support each other (or how one will support the other) with this goal. • Define what that means. • Set realistic expectations for one another – it will be a challenge for both of you. 5. Are you going to participate together? • Do you excel as an individual? Or, are you more successful as a member of a team?

18 | 02.14.18

10. Discuss an ‘out’ for one or both of you. • Don’t use this as an excuse, but more of an understanding of both personalities. • Recognize the levels of importance for each of you. 11. Decide on an end-date together. • It will allow you to reevaluate and possibly redefine your goals or ramp them up. In the end, communication is key. Identifying, discussing, and building a plan in advance will help alleviate potential obstacles on your road to success. Your partner will support you, and you can support your partner, if you each know what the other is trying to achieve. We are all passionate about our goals but knowing that we have our partner’s support will help us achieve them and makes the journey easier.

Q Music

Solos, Sides and So on It’s surprising, and a little disappointing, that Inara George isn’t a big star. The daughter of the late Little Feat front-man Lowell George, Inara has been making music for most of her life. Some of her musical outlets include Lode (a band that released an album on Geffen Records in the mid-`90s), The Bird and the Bee (with musician/songwriter/producer Greg Kurstin) and The Living Sisters (with Eleni Mandell, Becky Stark, and Alex Lilly). Additionally, George has released four solo albums, the latest being the stunning Dearest Everybody (Slow Down Sounds). Available as a two-LP 180-gram vinyl set, as well as digitally, Dearest Everybody features 13 songs, including “Slow Dance,” “Stars,” “Take Me To Paris” and “Release Me” that easily set the timeless tone of the album. Highlights, including “House On Valentine,” “Young Adult,” “All For All” and “Everybody” also provide a personal perspective. The last song, “Meditation,” is an instrumental mood piece written and performed by Mike Andrews, the album’s producer, proving that George is, and always will be, a generous collaborator. As a member of the soul via gospel group The Staples Singers, Mavis Staples established herself as one of the most recognizable and enduring voices in R&B. Her career as a solo recording artist is in its 50th year and on her most recent disc If All I Was Was Black (Anti-) she shows no signs of slowing down. Over the years, her artistry was championed by a variety of people, including Prince, Curtis Mayfield and Holland/Dozier/Holland, and, more recently Ry Cooder, M. Ward and especially Jeff Tweedy. Staples and Tweedy reteam for If All I Was Was Black, on which Tweedy wrote seven of the ten songs, co-writing the other three with Staples. As you might ascertain from the titular song, as well as “Who Told You That”, “We Go High”, “Peaceful Dream”, “No Time For Crying”, are very much of the moment speaking (and singing) to the work we all have to do during the Trump era, for however long it lasts. To some people, Jules Shear is the guy who wrote the mid`80s hit singles for Cyndi Lauper (“All Through The Night”) and The Bangles (“If She Knew What She Wants”). Others go way back to his early days as a member of the Funky Kings (remember “Slow Dancing”?) or as the front-man of

the band Jules and the Polar Bears. He even collaborated with Aimee Mann! With a voice that’s an acquired taste worth acquiring, Shear has released several solo albums, the latest being One More Crooked Dance (Funzalo). An intimate piano and vocal affair illustrating that Shear is still a solid songwriter as you can hear on “Don’t Remember,” “Painkiller,” “A Color That Barely Exists,” “Looking For Me” and “Half Hearted Head.” Niall Horan is not the first of the pre-fab five boy band One Direction to release a solo album. Harry Styles and Zayn beat him to it. However, his Flicker (Capitol) is the strongest of the three, with Styles’ coming in a close second. Horan co-wrote all ten songs, the best of which include the single “Slow Hands” (which is as good as Styles’ “Sign of the Times”), as well as “This Town,” “Too Much To Ask” and “Fire Away.” The Maren Morris duet on “Seeing Blind” has the potential to raise Horan’s stock among country music fans. At this point in time, grand diva Diana Ross has almost as many hits compilations to her name as she has studio recordings. You can add Diamond Diana: The Legacy Collection (Motown/UMe) to the heap. Ross, who received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Music Awards in 2017, got her start as one of the Supremes, the legendary Motown supergroup that helped to define the sound of the 1960s and beyond. It’s unclear why “You Can’t Hurry Love” was the one Supremes song to be included on this compilation, but here it is. One thing that LGBTQ fans are sure to love about this collection is the emphasis on Ross’ career as a dance music artist in her solo years. Disappointingly abbreviated versions of songs such as “Love Hangover,” “The Boss,” “I’m Coming Out,” “Upside Down,” “Take Me Higher,” and a dance remix of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” dominate. In the 1990s, as the front-man of the band Grant Lee Buffalo, Grant-Lee Phillips released four albums that merged Americana with alternative rock. Shortly after GLB disbanded, Phillips embarked on a solo recording career in 2000 that has produced a number of well-received discs. The newest is Widdershins (YepRoc), on which Phillips addresses both the status of our country and that of civilization on a song such as “Scared Stiff,” among others.

peachATL.com | 19

AV RIDER RECRUITMENT HOSTED BY JERUSALEM HOUSE AT HENRYS PHOTOS: Sher Pruitt

20 | 02.14.18

Sign a purchase contract on a select Quick Move-in Home between January 8, 2018 and February 18, 2018 and receive:

5,000

Up $ To Towards Closing Costs* When financing with our affiliated lender, CalAtlantic Mortgage and obtaining title insurance and closing services from our affiliated title company, CalAtlantic Title Atlanta, LLC.

Enclave at Druid Hills

Gated Community | Townhomes from the upper $500s For more information, please call 404-634-4485 or visit CalAtlanticHomes.com.

– PLUS –

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Up $ To

in Flex Credits**

Towards Design Center options and upgrades, price discounts, closing costs and/or temporary rate buy downs.

Available only when you close on the purchase of a quick move-in home in the Enclave at Druid Hills community pursuant to a purchase contract you sign on or between January 8, 2018 and February 18, 2018. *Up to $5,000 towards closing costs is subject to limits and is contingent upon buyer closing a loan with our affiliated lender, CalAtlantic Mortgage or, where permitted by seller, another seller preferred lender, and obtaining title insurance and closing services from our affiliated title agent, CalAtlantic Title Atlanta, LLC. The offer to pay closing costs does not include payment of prepaid taxes, property or mortgage insurance, or mortgage installments. Pre-payments of HOA assessments are typically subject to lender limits. **Up to $25,000 Seller provided Flex Credits may be applied to available upgrades and options at Seller’s Design Center, price discounts, closing costs and/or temporary rate buy downs. Availability of items may vary, including whether buyer’s lender permits such credits. Offer does not have any cash value. The combined value of seller incentives, credits and other seller contributions may exceed lender limits established for the loan program for which buyer qualifies. Buyer should ask his or her lender about the impact of such limits. Prices, plans and terms are effective on the date of publication and subject to change without notice. Depictions of homes or other features are artist conceptions. Hardscape, landscape and other items shown may be decorator suggestions that are not included in the purchase price and availability may vary. CalAtlantic Mortgage, Inc., NMLS# 203897, Georgia Residential Mortgage Licensee License #24225, 8660 E Hartford Drive, Suite 200A, Scottsdale, AZ; 1000 Mansell Exchange West, Suite 210, Alpharetta, GA License #68278. CAATL491

peachATL.com | 21

WOOFS: SUPERBOWL PHOTOS: Mik Hyldebrandt

22 | 02.14.18

peachATL.com | 23

"WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT" PRIVATE ATL PREMIERE #FILMBYSOFIAWELLMAN PHOTOS: Sher Pruitt

PLEASE CHECK OUT FACEBOOK AND OUR WEBSITE FOR MORE PHOTOS 24 | 02.14.18

Robert is definitely an on-the-go type of guy. Being a flight attendant for American Airlines aligns perfectly with his life-long wanderlust that so far has taken him to six continents - his goal is to visit 30 countries before the age of 30. When heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not traveling, he enjoys the gym, karaoke, and discovering binge-worthy Netflix shows â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and Sunday Fundays spent on Piedmont!

Robert Grant

Towns at Druid Hills

Gated Community | Townhomes from the low $500s Sign a purchase contract on a select Quick Move-in Home between January 8, 2018 and February 18, 2018 and receive:

5,000

â&#x20AC;&#x201C; PLUS â&#x20AC;&#x201C; For Quick Move-in Homes with unfinished basements:

Half Price Off,

Up To

$25,000 Value**

For more information, please call 404-634-4485 or visit CalAtlanticHomes.com. Available only when you close on the purchase of a quick move-in home in the Towns at Druid Hills community pursuant to a purchase contract you sign on or between January 8, 2018 and February 18, 2018. *Up to $5,000 towards closing costs is subject to limits and is contingent upon buyer closing a loan with our affiliated lender, CalAtlantic Mortgage or, where permitted by seller, another seller preferred lender, and obtaining title insurance and closing services from our affiliated title agent, CalAtlantic Title Atlanta, LLC. The offer to pay closing costs does not include payment of prepaid taxes, property or mortgage insurance, or mortgage installments. Pre-payments of HOA assessments are typically subject to lender limits. **Receipt of up to 50% off discount (up to $25,000 value) the costs of unfinished basements is applicable only to quick move-in homes that have unfinished basements. The combined value of seller incentives, credits and other seller contributions may exceed lender limits established for the loan program for which buyer qualifies. Buyer should ask his or her lender about the impact of such limits. Prices, plans and terms are effective on the date of publication and subject to change without notice. Depictions of homes or other features are artist conceptions. Hardscape, landscape and other items shown may be decorator suggestions that are not included in the purchase price and availability may vary. CalAtlantic Mortgage, Inc., NMLS# 203897 , Georgia Residential Mortgage Licensee License #24225, 8660 E Hartford Drive, Suite 200A, Scottsdale, AZ; 1000 Mansell Exchange West, Suite 210, Alpharetta, GA License #68278. CAATL491

Feb 15 – Feb 21

La Choloteca: Ley de Latinx

Beer Bust for Lost-N-Found

The popular and inclusive house party Is back with a new batch of vibes that cover party sounds from Salsa and Cumbia to Dembow and Punk.

Join Just Toby and Philip Lynch in celebrating their birthday and raise funds for Lost-n-Found Youth.

Thursday, February 15 MJQ Concourse

STAFF PICK!

Friday, February 16 Woofs on Piedmon

RENT The Musical Tour The Rent Musical phenomenon is coming to Atlanta as part their 20th-anniversary tour. Loosely based on Puccini’s La Bohème, it tells the story of a group of young artists struggling to survive in New York City’s East Village.

February 20-25 The Fox Theatre

GAGA Presents “A Night with Queens United Atlanta”

Haters Roast - The Shady Tour 2018

Friday, February 16

The Buckhead Theatre

Get ready for an evening of outrageous reads and delectable shade with host Ginger Minj and a lineup of Drag Join the newly formed GAGA organization (Gay Georgia) Race faves Trixie Mattel, Latrice Royale, Trinity Taylor, for a Queens United benefit. Performances by the Jinkx Monsoon, Thorgy Thor, and Eureka O’Hara. Queens United and special guests Kat Graham and Jason Dottley. $20 admission at the door. Sunday, February 18

Park Tavern 30 | 02.14.18

peachATL.com | 31

Stop Apologizing If You Meant It By Jamie Kirk

One thing that really grinds my gears is when people apologize for behavior or an action that they meant to say or do. Whether it is on social media, on TV, or in the privacy of our own homes, etc., the “I am sincerely sorry” kickoff of the sentence makes me roll my eyes. We have become a society of political rightness. If a decision or approach is not widely acceptable or popular, we can sometimes feel forced to apologize. The issue I have is that this can compromise the essence of what we want. Apologizing because you had a live microphone or because you got caught in the act, is not really apologizing. Yes, apologizing for being caught, not that your behavior will change. We have got to get over all this apologizing because it is what we should do, and walk in our own truth (despite that truth being universally un-cool with others). There are some specific topics were I just don’t believe apologizing is appropriate if you don’t mean it. Sex with a stranger for one. Who cares. If you are single, and no one is getting hurt, why not meet some random person on a sex app and do the nasty? Why would you need to apologize to someone or others because you had, and even liked, sex with a stranger? The good news is that you can do this and not tell anyone, and you don’t have to apologize for your behavior. As long as you and the other person are both honest, it’s all good. Another topic that you don’t have to apologize for is your position on monogamy. If you only want to date casually, who cares. If you don’t want the responsibility and accountability that comes with being in a full-blown relationship, you don’t have to do that. If you want to avoid the back and forth of paying for restaurants and movies, and only want to have company after 10:00 p.m. on Friday until Saturday at 10:00 a.m., that is your decision; and 32 | 02.14.18

you should not feel like you have to back pedal and defend your decision of not wanting to be in a relationship. Relationships take work every day, and that can be draining and miserable if you are not up for the investment, which may or may not pay off. One more (and I swear I’ll stop) is your position on having an amazing body. You don’t need to announce to the world “this is my cheat day” at a restaurant. Who cares? If you want to eat dessert first, do that. If you’re going to skip the gym in favor of binge-watching a Hulu show, do it. You don’t have to apologize or make an excuse for things you want to do to people that don’t really even matter. All our souls want from our bodies is to be housed in a safe and healthy shell. You simply don’t have to apologize for a few poor decisions along the way of meeting your goal of becoming a cover model for Men’s Muscle & Fitness. Focusing again on this time of year when many folks are thinking of coupling, snuggling with someone while the weather is nippy out or perhaps looking for that special someone to take vacations with this summer, it is imperative that we do it with a free conscience. It is important to be 100% clear about our intentions with others and ourselves. If the decision is to participate in an open relationship, no relationship, maintain our dad bod, bulking, having random, yet consensual sex, who cares? It is more important to be authentic in your intentions than to apologize and back pedal regarding things you truly want and desire. Jamie Kirk works for a software company and is a certified spinning instructor. He also enjoys yoga, swimming, bicycling and running. He aspires to start a blog about what we put in our bodies not only fuels our body but our mind and spirit as well. Follow Jamie on IG @tysonsdad

Valentine's Gay

(Or How to Be Proud and Conspicuous On V-Day) By Scott King

I waited tables in East Tennessee FOREVER. It’s where I learned how to be an adult. It’s where I learned how to be a gay guy without being THE gay guy. Unless I needed to use it to get me out of a jam. Or as an excuse to kick out the jams. Valentine’s Day was the pits. Almost literally. Buckets of dumb pink roses would be waiting for us on the stainless steel emergency room of a table where we usually rolled silverware. Roll me to the state penitentiary I am already living in a prison of bourgeoise desire. It was so gross. At the end of the meal, when we presented the check, TO THE FUCKING MAN, we were instructed to present a pink rose to each of the female gender-identified guests at the table. This was part of our job. The grandmothers loved it. They blushed for the first time since Watergate. The mothers were nervous and confused, blinking hard and staring blankly at their husbands. I’m guessing they were wishing they had bought their bibles for guidance. The young wives, I’d say I had about a 50-50 chance with them, but they weren’t exactly my type if you know what I mean (and I think you do). The dudes were SO not into it. “Hey buddy, you wanna take her home with you, too?” No strings attached, bro. Some genius on staff would ask one of the managers, “Hey, what if it’s two guys hahaha,” to which the manager would reply, “Ask who’s the man and who’s the woman.” Not a particularly progressive answer. We weren’t backwards. We weren’t backwoods. It was just heteronormativity manifesting itself at the tail end of the Bush era. I told my manager straight up if two guys or two girls show up all lovely, proud and demure on Valentine’s Day, they’re both getting roses from me. You can take it out of my gay paycheck. Needless to say, I made bank that night. What does all this have to do with transubstantiation?

34 | 02.14.18

Think about it. When Carrie and Miranda had a lover’s spat at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day, it elicited a complex chuckle. It wasn’t homophobic; it was transgressive. Relationships are relationships. Love is love. On gay dates, the servers no longer smile too broadly at us. We’re getting there. But recent studies show that homophobia and distaste for the LGBT community are on the rise. Homophobia is once again in vogue. It’s being marketed as common sense and as making America great again. It was horrifying to see the hashtags calling for Americans to take back New Year’s Eve. Take it back from the beautiful Andy Cohen and the lovely and talented Anderson Cooper. Back to Dick Clark, apparently. Because Dick is so heteronormative. So what’s the solution? I have one suggestion: connect to the world. Your family that you came out to five years ago, with whom it was a bit awkward, they have probably had time to adjust. Your aunts, your uncles, your stepdad. They love you. They now, including you, have FOUR gay friends. Wow! It’s a start. So you’re in love, then? Your mister has made you glad to be a sister. Has made you forget about all the bad dates. About all the awkward conversations with acquaintances, family, and co-workers about your boring sexual orientation. He’s the one. He made reservations and everything. It’s Valentine’s Day. Get out there and show it. Show it by showing up. Show by not using euphemisms for your boyfriend or husband or flashpan lover. Show it by not allowing it to be a big deal. Show it by not being self-conscious on a gay date on V-Day. This is Atlanta, after all. We run this place. Scott King is an Atlanta-based writer, consultant, and political activist. He enjoys tennis, hiking, rock concerts, and having drinks with friends. He is currently working on a novel about a hooker with a heart of Bitcoin.

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clubs 28 Heretic 29 Jungle

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People who think Atlanta roads are “the worst” don’t get out much

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Only if the world gave 45 the same grief on his performance that Justin Timberlake is getting right now

When you wake up thinking ‘I don’t need this job’ but then remember how expensive it is to be you…

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I’m going to watch the Winter Olympics because of my profound love of Spandex Asking for a friend: Is it acceptable to be late because the dog fell asleep on you and didn’t want to wake him?

48 | 02.14.18

ARIES (MAR. 21 - APR. 19)

LIBRA (SEP. 23 - OCT. 22)

You’ll be agreeable and charming today. Your friends will be stunned by your generosity because it’s just so unlike you! But the truth will reveal itself once you start negotiating the brunch check down to the penny -- and suggesting that they pick up a little more, since they picked such an expensive place.

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GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN. 20)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21)

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CANCER (JUN. 21 - JUL. 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19)

You’ll put your power schmoozing charms to good use today as you meet and greet the masses. You’ll come into close proximity to people of influence, but you’ll knock ‘em dead with your smooth intelligence, wry wit and that cute black velvet blazer that looks so good on you.

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LEO (JUL. 23 - AUG. 22)

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18)

This will be one of those middle of the road days notable only by it’s absence of extremes. You won’t care either way about anything today. But don’t nestle too far into the ennui of the day. That cute barista might be suggestively eyeing you up but you won’t even care.

Friends and family have come to accept your quirkiness, but rein in some of your peculiarities today. If you invite over pals from the office for a game night, they may not enjoy your full reenactment of ‘Cabaret’ during charades.

VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEP. 22)

PISCES (FEB. 19 - MAR. 20)

You’ll have an urge to experience something foreign today. But foreign can also mean odd, so be a little more specific. Experiment a little but stay away from anything that involves clothespins, electricity or wearing diapers.

Someone will come along today who regales you with beautiful words of deep feeling. He’ll say the things you want to hear with eloquence and humility. The freaky part will be when you realize you’re talking to yourself in the mirror.

50 | 02.14.18

WHAT happened was . . .

What Happened Was... Trouble in the love department? With sex? Or just people in general? Send us your queries, questions, and problems, and we’ll give you the answers served straight up and with a little ice. A while ago I broke up with my ex, but I’m still so angry about the whole thing. Whenever I hear the slightest news about him, I feel this rage bubbling up in me, and I start fighting with him in my head again. I know you’re supposed to move on, and all, but I want nothing good for him and want nothing to do with him – but I would like to tell him how much I still hate his bleach-blond head. How do I get over harboring this rage towards him?

Sincerely Raging Ex-Boyfriend Dear Raging Ex-Boyfriend It sounds like this one did a number on you and has left you with deep marks and open wounds. Judging by the anger you feel, you are still in the healing phase where you are trying to make sense of it all and recount why it all went so wrong. Anger is a natural part of that process and like with so many strong emotions; it is best if you let them flow through you and not let them consume you. Yes, it is easier said than done – you are experiencing that right now! – but in time your anger will diminish; especially if you occupy yourself with things that will get your mind off of him. That also means limiting your exposure to his ‘bleach-blond head’: don’t attend the same events, don’t follow him on any social media, block or delete his phone number, ask friends not to mention him around you or give you updates, etc. Remember he is not worth any of your time, so stop giving him your emotions even though they are in the negative. He will always be part of your history, but don’t let him be part of your life here and now. You’re worth more than that, and he is not – a fact that you know better than anyone.

I have a problem with my partner of many years. I love him, and we have a great life, but I don’t feel we fit together physically. Allow me to explain: I’m attracted to him sexually, but I easily get uncomfortable when I cuddle with him. I think he has bad breath and smells, his skin is scratchy, and I feel his bones are poking me, and I can never find a good, restful position with him. On the other hand, we have an occasional f**k buddy, and I can cuddle, kiss, and sleep in his arms all night long. What the hell is wrong with me? Could it be we’re sexually but not physically compatible?

Sincerely Great Sex But no Cuddling

Dear Great Sex But no Cuddling It sounds like you’re experiencing some intimacy issues despite the fact you are having sex with your boyfriend. Intimacy also accounts for the non-sexual physical contact that often builds an even deeper connection than the mere trip to Poundtown. Think about when the cuddling with your boyfriend worked; was it right after he had brushed his teeth or showered? Where you both relaxed or did you or he feel stressed about work or other things? Were you physically comfortable, ie. not excessively full of food or drink, very tired, sore from the gym, or not feeling well, etc.? There are so many factors that need to align in order to make that connection and because you know each other intimately, the same factors can blur the intimate connection – and it’s probably also why you feel such ease in relaxing with your play friend. Intimacy is not a given, and it takes practice especially if the relationship is maturing, so it’s time you talk about this with him. Maybe he is experiencing the same kind of unease when he wants to get cuddly with you? Talking about these things will also help you regain the confidence that may be missing ever so slightly between the two of you right now – so cuddle up!

I have decided I want to be more sexually out there this summer. I want to explore more, experiment more, and just see what my (sex) life has to offer me. I don’t want commitment but just lots of sex with lots of different men. I want to give myself a little sexual revolution! So far, I’m keeping this entirely to myself, because my friends are so judgmental when it comes to sleeping around, but I also want to share my sexual journey with them. How do I combine the two?

Sincerely Sensual Season Dear Sensual Season Good for you! There is nothing wrong with getting more comfortable in your sexuality and expanding your sexual horizon a little or even a lot. Just remember to keep it safe and don’t do anything you don’t want to even though you thought you wanted it at first. Regarding your friends, they should honestly show you a little more support in your quest to learn more about yourself. It’s not like you’re taking a trip around the world, you’re just more open to sexual encounters than what they’re used to. Granted, you may not need to recount every single encounter in detail, but you should be able to rely on your friends for support and guidance now that you are doing a dedicated effort to self-explore. Maybe this summer won’t only teach you about yourself, but it will always show you who your true friends are? NEED ANSWERS? REACH OUT TO US, AND YOU WILL GET THEM! SEND YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS VIA OUR EDITOR AT MIKKEL@PEACHATL.COM.

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