Peach v3i18 by David Atlanta Magazine

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As the lives of LGBTQ Americans hang in the balance, we cannot afford to take one step backward. We must build upon our momentum and move FORWARD.

05.04.19 To purchase tickets visit HRCAtlanta.com

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From the Editor No, it is not Cinco de Drinko – that’s not how any of this works! If you’re putting on a fake mustache and a sombrero to get drunk on tequila for Cinco de Mayo, you’re doing it wrong! If you don’t know that by now, read up on the history behind the holiday on page 14 – and hopefully you’ll be enjoying your margaritas with a much better reason.

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Another significant event in May is the HRC Gala at the Hyatt Regency which will celebrate the accomplishments of the organization as well as honor local trailblazers for their work for LGBTQ equality. The gala is followed by Joining Hearts’ Change of Seasons party, which this year is themed LIBERATE.

Chris Azzopardi Jeff Fuller Jamie Kirk Gregg Shapiro

Chris Azzopardi spoke to Sara Bareilles about her first studio album in six years, and they also touched upon speaking one’s mind, backlash from Trump supporters, ally criticism, and gagging over drag queens. Read the interview on page 18.

Andrea Dwyer andrea@peachatl.com

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And that is of course not all, so enjoy this first May issue of Peach!

Cover Photo Courtesy of LaRue Calliet/LaRue.com

Mikkel Hyldebrandt Editorial Director

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The content of Peach ATL Media is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Peach ATL Media are not necessarily those of this publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through Peach ATL Media meets your specific requirements. Peach ATL Media is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to Peach ATL Media, including but not limited to articles, advertisements, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of Peach ATL Media may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the publisher. Unauthorized use of Peach ATL Media may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in Peach ATL Media is strictly at your own risk.

6 | 05.01.19

Change to Liberate

Under the theme ‘Liberate!’, Joining Hearts continues their fundraising efforts with the signature Change of Seasons dance party at the Heretic.

The proceeds from this event will go to make a direct impact in the Atlanta community where new HIV/AIDs transmission rates are still climbing.

As a precursor for the massive pool party in Piedmont Park – the ultimate summer season highlight of gay Atlanta - Joining Hearts rolls out their signature Change of Seasons dance party at the Heretic. Although not the official after party of the HRC Gala that takes place the same night, many will likely end their night on the dancefloor at the Heretic as DJ Isis Muretech (Guadalajara) comes to Atlanta for her East Coast debut, and DJ Mike Pope warms up the dancefloor for her.

W W W

HAT HERE HEN

8 | 05.01.19

Presale tickets and tickets at door before 11pm - $20 Tickets at the door after 11pm - $25

ABOUT JOINING HEARTS Since 1987, Joining Hearts has been raising awareness and funds to support prevention, care, and housing assistance to those impacted by HIV/AIDS in Atlanta. Joining Hearts is an all-volunteer organization who has donated over $2.5M in the past 31 years to beneficiaries as we combat this disease. To find out more on how to support Joining Hearts or get involved, visit joininghearts.org.

Change of Seasons: Liberate! Presented by Joining Hearts and the Heretic The Heretic Tickets via Eventbite or joininghearts.org

Saturday, May 4, 9 pm – 3 am

May 4th, 2019 | Heretic 9:00PM - 3:00AM $20 ADVANCE (AND UNTIL 11:00PM DAY OF) $25 AFTER 11:00PM | 21+ ID REQUIRED

Tickets available at: joininghearts.org

Stonewall 50

Soundtrack By Gregg Shapiro

Looking for just the right soundtrack for your observance of the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots? Consider any or all of the following albums by LGBTQ artists to provide the music for your queer ears. If you only know punk belter Tyson Meade from his time as front-man of the purr-fect `90s alt-rock band Chainsaw Kittens, then you only know part of the story. Meade’s four solo albums, beginning with 1996’s Motorcycle Childhood are all worthy of your attention. His amazing new release Robbing The Nuclear Family (Shaking Shanghai), with an incredible cover image that must be seen, has all the components we’ve come to expect from Meade and then some. “He’s The Candy” (from which the album’s title is drawn) will kick your sweet ass into next week. The daring musical diversion of “Tentatively Ahmed” pays off in a big way, lifting listeners out of their seats onto their already dancing feet. “Tiniest of Guys (Troy’s Theme)” lightens the mood in every way imaginable, while “Daphne Come Out” takes a more serious tone and “Motorcycle Boy #3” will rev more than a few listeners’ engines. Jonny Pierce of The Drums has come a long way since 2005. At that time, he was a member of the short-lived electro-pop act Elkland, releasing one album on Columbia Records. A few years later, Pierce and other Elkland members regrouped as The Drums. Brutalism (Anti-), the fifth full-length album under The Drums moniker, finds Pierce on his own. The nine songs maintain The Drums’ love of synth-beats and keyboards, and the bliss feels gayer and more intimate than ever, even in the face of struggle. Whether or not you choose to pay close attention to his lyrics (which you should), Pierce still wants you up and dancing on songs such as “Body Chemistry”, “Pretty Cloud”, “Blip of Joy” and “626 Bedford Avenue”. Pierce also allows you a chance to catch your breath on “Nervous” and “I Wanna Go Back”. In 2016 after completing and releasing the final part to the ambitious and taxing three-album The Family Tree song cycle, gay singer/songwriter Ben Cooper (of Electric President fame), aka Radical Face, busied himself with various projects, including a relocation from Florida to California and going into therapy. The result is the new Radical Face album Therapy (Bear Machine), featuring exciting new musical arrangement experimentation. This is best exemplified in the stunning songs “Better Days”, “Guilt” and “Doubt”. Be forewarned, this is not an easy listen. Essentially a musical psychotherapy session, as in the case of the powerful “Personal Giants” and “Dead Ends”, nevertheless, you can feel the healing beginning. When out singer/songwriter John Ashfield isn’t releasing solo records (check out 2007’s Love Is Blue), he’s busy fronting San Francisco’s The Bobbleheads. The quartet’s new album Myths and Fables (Poppop) is significant in that it’s the first time that the entire band lineup consists of gay members, including Pat Ennis on bass, Rob Harford on guitar and vocals, and Rob Jacobs on 10 | 05.01.19

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drums and percussion. The electric rock of “Until You Touch It” would fit in well on the latest Bob Mould album Sunshine Rock. Other highlights include “Anne Murray Centre”, and the chewy bubblegum pop of “Listen You Know”, “Like Oxygen”, “Afternoon” and “Joey”. All-female supergroup trios are all the rage. Have you heard the albums by case/lang/veirs (Neko Case, k.d. lang and Laura Veirs), Pistol Annies (Miranda Lambert, Ashley Monroe and Angaleena Presley) or I’m With Her (Sara Watkins, Sarah Jarosz and Aoife O’Donovan)? If not, you should. You also can’t go wrong with the 2/3 queer trio boygenius (Lucy Dacus, Julien Baker and Phoebe Bridgers) and its self-titled six-song EP (on Matador), either. In fact, the only thing wrong with is that there simply isn’t enough of it. It’s the very embodiment of “always leave them wanting more”. With these few songs, it’s difficult to pick favorites, so let’s just say that you should listen to “Bite The Hand”, “Me & My Dog”, “Souvenir”, “Stay Down”, “Salt in the Wound” and “Ketchum, ID” repeatedly, because too much of a good thing is never enough. For those who have been uncomplainingly awaiting the day that out Broadway singer/actor Max Von Essen released his debut album, your patience has been rewarded. Call Me Old Fashioned · The Broadway Standard (LML Music), co-produced by Von Essen and Billy Stritch (who also plays piano on the album), is here! Drawing on jukebox bio-musicals such as Jersey Boys and The Boy From Oz , as well as more traditional fare including Evita, My Fair Lady, She Loves Me and An American In Paris, Von Essen succeeds in making each and every one of the songs his own. Thomas Lauderdale has gallons of talent. Not limiting himself to his role as leader of and primary songwriter of original material for Pink Martini, openly gay Lauderdale has also made a name for himself through his collaborations with others, including gay writer Tom Spanbauer. On Hotel Amour (Heinz), Lauderdale teams up international cabaret chanteuse Meow Meow for a set of intercontinental tunes. Upping the queer quotient, Rufus Wainwright provides duet vocals on “À quoi ça sert l’amour”, while other musical guests can be heard on “Hi-Lili, Hi-Lo” (The von Trapps), “Sans Toi” (the late Michel Legrand) and “Mausi, süß warst Du heute Nacht” (Barry Humphries). Pansexual freakpop diva Héloïse Létissier sure took her time releasing the second Christine and the Queens album Chris (Because Music), but after one listen you’ll agree that it was worth the three-plus-year wait. Working her Frenglish vibe to its most exotic yet accessible degree, Létissier borrows liberally from the 1980s, synthesizing it through an exciting 21st century lens. You’ll want to slip on your dancing shows for songs such as the religious experience of “Doesn’t Matter”, the tush-shaking touché of “Girlfriend”, the come-on of “Comme Si”, the frustration of “Damn (What Must A Woman Do)”, and the affordable thrill of “5 Dollars”. In the liner notes for This World Is Too ____ For You (Thesis & Instinct), lesbian polymath Emily Wells wrote, “These songs are about the human being interacting with the natural world.” A queer musical statement on the climate crisis, the ten tracks balance experimentation with accessibility. Even if this is not usually your cup of herbal tea, it’s well worth drinking in “Hymn For the New World”, “Eulogy For the Lucky”, “Stay Up”, “Misconceptions on Forever” and “Remind Me to Remember”.

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- and how not to offend an entire culture celebrating it! By Mikkel Hyldebrandt There is nothing wrong with having a good time. But there something wrong with appropriating a culture and offending it at the same time. So, here’s why you shouldn’t reinforce the stereotypes surrounding Cinco de Mayo, and how you should celebrate instead. Cinco de Mayo commemorates the story of how a community was empowered to beat all odds. More specifically, it is the celebration of the Mexican victory over French troops during the 1862 French invasion of Mexico. The background for the invasion was that Mexico was bankrupt after internal and external wars during the 1800s. President Benito decided in 1861 to cancel Mexico’s debts with Europe, which, of course, did not go over well at all, and France decided to invade Mexico. The French troops made it to the city of Puebla south of Mexico City where they were faced by General Ignacio Zaragoza who led the Mexican forces. Even though the French vastly outnumbered the Mexican army, they somehow managed to defeat the invaders on May 5, 1862. Although the unlikely victory didn’t hold and France eventually claimed Mexico under the French throne, the battle at Puebla quickly became a powerful symbol of how the Mexican people were able to empower themselves and come together as a self-determined community against all the odds. And so, the date became a day of celebration, but a minor one concentrated to Mexico City and Puebla, and it was dwarfed in comparison to the Mexican holiday May Day (May 1) and Independence Day which in Mexico falls on September 6. It wasn’t until the 1960s that Mexicans living in the U.S. started to adapt the holiday as a convenient Spring festival that celebrated Mexican heritage and history at the same time. It continued to be a 14 | 04.24.19

celebration for Mexican-American community until the 1980s where the holiday was commercialized by large corporations - mainly alcohol companies - to tap into the growing Mexican-American market. The same commercialization that made the holiday popular all over the U.S. also fed into the stereotypes surrounding Mexican culture, which created the weird ‘Cinco de Drinko’ fest we have today on May 5 that for many means getting shitfaced on tequila. TIME FOR A NEW CELEBRATION? So, before you go out and put on that sombrero, fake mustache, and poncho and line up those margaritas and tequila shots, take a minute to let the background for Cinco de Mayo sink in. Cinco de Mayo is undoubtedly much more than a margarita happy hour, and because it is a historic moment of pride in Mexico, no one should treat it any less. Imagine how people would react if another country marked an American holiday by binge drinking decked out like Uncle Sam – it doesn’t feel right, does it? So instead, celebrate Cinco de Mayo for the moment in history, and for the bridge it is building between American cultures. Use it as an opportunity for you to get caught up on some pretty interesting history and strengthen the bond between the cultures that are being divided as we speak by a political agenda. By all means, enjoy margaritas, Mexican beer, and tequila shots – but don’t parade around those stereotypes that are blatantly racist and make a mockery Mexican history. Show a bit of cultural sensitivity, and let’s honor the shared heritage of Mexico and the U.S. Now, that’s something we can all drink to!

peachATL.com | 15

Read All About It By Gregg Shapiro

Photo: Universal Pictures

Actor/writer/director Emilio Estevez might have a thing about libraries. In one of his earliest and most popular movie roles, he played jock Andrew in John Hughes’ “The Breakfast Club”, in which he served detention in a high school library with other Brat Pack misfits. Estevez, who continued to appear onscreen in a series of high-profile movies throughout the remainder of the late 20th century and into the 21st, also had a passion for being behind the camera, beginning with his 1986 writer/director debut “Wisdom” and continuing with his Golden Globe-nominated feature “Bobby”. Estevez goes back to the library in “The Public” (Universal), his latest movie as actor, writer and director. Set in the downtown Cincinnati public library, during a particularly brutal winter, “The Public” features Estevez as Stuart, a kind-hearted head librarian, with a secret past. As is the case in many northern urban areas, public libraries have become makeshift shelters for the homeless population. Stuart is kind to the homeless people who wander the stacks, although he has little patience for one homeless woman’s constant anti-Semitic rants. Librarian Myra (Jena Malone) and Stuart, her supervisor, have a pleasantly antagonistic relationship. She’s an environmentalist who goes after him for driving to work instead of taking public trans. Myra wants a transfer to another area in the library and Stuart is the one who holds the key. He is also under the watchful eye of Anderson (Jeffrey Wright), his supervisor, especially since the library is being sued by a homeless man for violating his rights when he was asked by Stuart to evacuate because his body odor was wreaking havoc on other patrons. Prosecutor Davis (Christian Slater), who is also running for mayor, is handling the case, takes an instant dislike to Stuart.

At home, Stuart encounters building manager Angela (Taylor Schilling) attempting to repair the radiator in his apartment. After some initial trepidation, they bond over their sobriety. Stuart reveals how books helped Stuart get sober and turn his life around. Not surprisingly, such intimate conversation leads to them having sex. Meanwhile, crisis negotiator Bill (Alec Baldwin) ask his police department superior for a leave of absence so that he and his ex-wife can focus more attention on finding their son Mike (Nik Pajic), a junkie who is living on the streets. Everything changes the next day at the library. With temperatures plummeting to dangerously low levels, homeless man Jackson (Michael Kenneth Williams) organizers a peaceful rebellion as the security staff prepares to close the library for the evening. With more than 100 homeless people refusing to leave, Stuart finds himself in the middle of a situation that requires all of his focus and energy to resolve. Soon Bill is called in to help work things out, just as a local news team, led by desperate-for-ratings newscaster Rebecca (Gabrielle Union) arrives on the scene. Like “Bobby”, “The Public” is a multi-character drama, in which all of the characters converge in one setting, leading to a massive, heart-tugging finale. Manipulative to the very last frame, “The Public” touches on hot button issues including the opioid epidemic, homelessness, and hate crimes, to mention a few, all couched in subtle religious messaging (Stuart’s surname is Goodson). Nevertheless, “The Public” may not be a potboiler, but it’s a story worth telling.

2.5 OUT OF 5 PEACHES – ALMOST RIPE PEACH

16 | 05.01.19

Photo Courtesy of ES Collection, PR

In the guise of satiric exploitation-horror, the all-female cast of The Secretaries takes an unflinching look at the warping cultural expectations of femininity. Pretty Patty Johnson is thrilled to join the secretarial pool at the Cooney Lumber Mill under the iron-fisted leadership of sultry office manager Susan Curtis. But she soon begins to feel that all is not right—the enforced diet of Slim-Fast shakes, the strange clicking language between the girls, the monthly disappearance of a lumberjack. By the time Patty discovers murder is part of these office killers’ skill set, it’s too late to turn back!

By The Five Lesbian Brothers

MAY 2-18, 2019

Tickets: $15 and up Out Front Theatre Company 999 Brady Avenue, Atlanta

www.OutFrontTheatre.com

BRAVER than before Sara Bareilles wanted to see herself be brave. Of course, she summoned you to do the same atop a bop that wouldn’t take no for an answer, but she’s been a work in progress herself. She followed her own be-bold guidance for her fifth solo album, Amidst the Chaos, making timely feminist assertions (“Armor”) and using coded language to write songs that could be about love but were actually written, mournfully, longingly, with a specific loved one in mind: Barack Obama. Amidst the Chaos is Bareilles’ first studio album in six years, the last being 2013’s The Blessed Unrest. (She also wrote the music and lyrics for Broadway’s Waitress the Musical, which opened in 2015.)

By Chris Azzopardi • Photo: Epic Records 18 | 05.01.19

peachATL.com | 19

Recently, Bareilles spoke candidly about fearlessly (and finally) speaking her mind, backlash from Trump supporters who are refusing to listen to her new music and criticism that allies shouldn’t sing about the LGBTQ community. But first, drag queens... You recently had a meet-up with Nina West, a contestant on this season’s RuPaul’s Drag Race, outside the Brooks Atkinson Theatre, home to Waitress the Musical. I sure did. You’re like, “I know. I was there.” You didn’t forget. Of course not! You don’t forget that! It was amazing. I was still in the show at the time and it was the day they announced she was joining the cast, and I walked outside – I was going to physical therapy for my shoulder – and she is so fierce and she was wearing that pink, yellow, super bright dress and she’s underneath the marquee. I’m like, “Give that to me please!” So we just had this beautiful, sweet little meet-up, and then she sent a whole box of goodies and I shared it with the cast and I got my Nina West t-shirt. You have a Nina West shirt now? I sure do! There’s an amazing array of t-shirts. Like whoever does that merch is on point. Now all the queens are gonna be sending you drag queen t-shirts. You’re gonna have a whole closet full of them. I’ll take it, are you kidding me? That’s all I’m gonna wear this year. (Laughs) Does this mean you’re a RuPaul’s Drag Race fan? I am, although I’m not gonna pretend like I watch it every time. I feel like I stay up to date on it because my friends watch it. You sort of keep an eye on it. Like, I love that it exists, and it makes so many people so happy and I love it. Now, after Nina, there’s basically a gay movement to get you on the show to be a judge. Oh my god, I would love to. If you were a judge on the show, what kind of judge would you be? Are you qualified to judge drag? No – let me just tell you what I know about myself: I am a terrible judge, and I learned this when I was on The Sing-Off, because I was a judge for one season on this a cappella competition show, and who does not want to ever give criticism? Sara Bareilles. It is not why I am on this earth! Other people are good at it; I am not. I am all about, I wanna love you up! I wanna make you feel great! I wanna pick out all the things I’m excited about who you are! I’m not a good person for, like, constructive criticism. I’m so uncomfortable. I’ll just be a really sweet judge. Shifting to the new album, and given its subject matter, was the LGBTQ community on your mind while creating it? Always. That community is just braided into the fabric of my messaging and my intention, always. And beyond. Really, for me, the pivot point was the election and wanting to turn back toward music and talk about the way I was feeling about the world with music again, with my own personal music. 20 | 05.01.19

The thing that’s been so hard to witness is this total absence of compassion and inclusivity, and it’s really jarring to watch this soul-crushing nature of so much agitation and anger and blame. I’m having a hard time with it. It’s really, really hard to metabolize as a person, and so I definitely turn toward music to parse those ideas out and put them somewhere and try to make sense of it. But on a macro level and a micro level, this last handful of years has felt very chaotic. Though they’re disguised as love songs, some of these songs were written about Obama, like “No Such Thing” and “If I Can’t Have You.” In turn, they’ve turned off some Trump supporters. One comment on a Variety article read, “I am deleting her from my playlist. She loves a president that literally destroyed the healthcare for my family and millions of others because he’s ‘cool.’ Another idiot who has no concept of the real world.” You must’ve known some of these songs would polarize your fan base. Why sing them anyway? Because they’re true for me. I think that one of the things that has happened to me in the last handful of years is that I have stopped feeling fearful of displeasing people with my truth. I think as a young artist I felt very aware of never saying anything that was controversial or wasn’t sort of milquetoast-y in the sense of steering clear of anything political. On some level, I’m not a policy wonk. I can’t break down to you the ins and outs of every point of what’s happening politically, but I am learning, and I am curious, and I have questions. And I’m not fearful of losing a fan who doesn’t care for my belief system. It’s OK. You don’t have to listen. I still wrote the song for you, but it’s OK. I don’t need to be angry about that at all. It doesn’t even ignite any of those feelings toward me. I feel sad that we’re watching the healthcare system get dismantled. Whoever that person is, I want your family to be taken care of. I really do. And I just happen to believe that another system is the better way. But it’s OK. If it’s too triggering to listen to my music because I don’t have the same politics, then that’s OK. Then there are songs of yours like “Brave,” where you ignited a positive sense of self-empowerment within the LGBTQ community. Did that song take on a different shape and life after it was unleashed? It did. My goodness! That was one of the greatest sort of movies I ever got to watch: Where is “Brave” gonna go? I did not anticipate that that song would be so mutable and malleable and turn into so many different things for so many different people. As a songwriter that is the deepest hope and wish for the thing you make: that it’s going to land in the hearts and the hands of the people who need it for whatever they need it. So I love singing that song still. I love the connection it makes with the fans. I really believe in the message. I still turn to that message personally all the time, with an attachment to the outcome: Can I just be my bravest self? Can I be my most authentic? Can I be my most truthful? That’s the goal. I read a column in The Guardian around the time “Brave” came out about Macklemore’s “Same Love” and “Brave” that addressed straight allies expressing their solidarity, and the article asked allies to “now make room for us to sing our own stories.” Is this a

sentiment from the community you’ve been made aware of, and as an ally, how do you feel about it? I think we’re in this really delicate time, understandably, of people wanting to claim their own story. My feeling, as an artist and as a writer: Your job is to sort of crawl into that radical empathy space and hopefully, with the best of intentions, just amplify a message. It’s not that I would ever hope to take the place of an artist from the LGBTQ community, but do I certainly want to be on the team to amplify the message that inclusivity, diversity, acceptance, truth, advocacy are worthy to be talked about? Yes. To me it feels like it’s diminishing the strength in numbers if the only people that can support the movement are people who are inside the movement. Then you’re making your movement smaller. And no movement in the history of movements has effectively moved forward with just a single group of people. Yeah. I can relate it to the new feminist movement. One of the most important voices that need to speak up for women’s rights are men. That’s how we are going to amplify messages. So I completely understand the impulse of wanting to tell your own story. I think that’s completely valid, and in terms of who I make music with or who I bring on tour, those are the things I can pay attention to. But I think to shut me out because I am straight is maybe a slightly mixed message to me. I really appreciate your honest and eloquent answer. It’s hard because it’s delicate. I think it’s good that you ask those questions. But for anyone to sort of have the idea that it’s black or white, it’s so personal for everybody, and I think that’s the part of our life and our culture right now that is creating so much tension. I always refer to it as the death of nuance. It’s like there’s no room for gray area. It’s like you are or you aren’t. It’s all these really stark contrasts, and I think really where humanity exists is in that gray matter in between, just in the middle.

the musical’s female protagonist, Jenna), so it’s something that I find delight in, and we’re certainly open-minded about where the story goes and who gets to tell this story, so all the things are possible, I think. Outside of Waitress, you usually write from an autobiographical place. Which song on Amidst the Chaos do you feel closest to? So my favorite song on the record is “Saint Honesty,” but the song that I actually feel the closest to is “Someone Who Loves Me” because it deals with anxiety and depression and how you allow someone to see your pain, and that’s been a very difficult journey for me in my life. So I think that’s the song that probably feels closest to my skin. That’s the one that kind of lives the closest to my heart. But also, I fucking love “Armor.” I love getting to sing that song, so yeah, it’s hard to choose. They’re like your babies. All artists say that, so I’m glad you were able to narrow it down. (Laughs) That’s my answer today.

As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in GQ, Vanity Fair and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

In 2018, you sent gay Twitter ablaze when you tweeted “It was never about a he,” referencing your hit “Love Song” and its inspiration. Gay Twitter thought you were coming out. Though you did eventually set the record straight, so to speak, how quickly were you made aware that many in the LGBTQ community thought you were coming out? Are you kidding me? My lesbians have been my ride or die since the beginning, so I knew they were just waiting for me (laughs) ... But I also thought when I made that tweet that it’s just a story, I’ve told so many times, that I wrote it about the record label and that it wasn’t a particular person, that I didn’t think anything of it. Then it was just delicious to watch the kind of aftermath of that. (Laughs) And then your DMs filled up with messages from your loyal lesbians? Yeah! Well, there’s been like a little campaign to get a female Dr. Pomatter in Waitress for a long time (in Waitress, the doctor falls in love with peachATL.com | 21

EASTER DRAG RACES @ MIDTOWN MOON PHOTOS: ANDREA DWYER

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Yonnathan is originally from Guadalajara, Mexico, but has lived most of his life in Atlanta. He works as a manager at a mental health outpatient clinic, and outside of work he loves the outdoors â&#x20AC;&#x201C; preferably camping, kayaking, and hiking with his dog Ava. He also enjoys the many outdoor festivals Atlanta has to offer, finding treasures at yard sales, and the occasional Atlanta United game at the stadium. Yonnathanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s other hobbies include doing stained glass, some cross-stitching, and gardening.

@ysinatra30

Yonnathan Hernandez

30 | 05.01.19

After All the Word

Is a Complete Sentence BY JAMIE KIRK

Why do we go to places and do things with people we don’t want to do them with? Why do we nod our heads “yup,” when we know we have no intention of going or showing up? Why do we take up our quality YES time, with half-ass YES responses? I think we do it because we care more about not hurting the other person’s feelings than we value our own happiness or peace path. Saying “nope” to someone does not mean you don’t like them. Saying “nope” to something does not mean you will never say “yup” to it in the future. Saying “nope” is just a word that displays how we feel at that moment in time. And I think I speak for all of us when I say we are a thousand different people, with a thousand different thoughts and opinions in 24 hours. The inability to say no, and instead respond affirmatively, generally only causes you anger, frustration, and resentment. Have you ever noticed that when you really don’t want to do something, and you end of doing it anyway, your fuse is a lot shorter, you are short-tempered and snap at people; without any rhyme or reason? The real issue is that you feel slighted because you placed someone else’s needs above your own and really are not for certain that they would do the same for you. The best way to combat these feelings of angst is only to do what you want to do. Only go where you want to go, and only do things with people that you really like. Folks that uplift you and inspire you to be a better version of yourself. When you are hanging around people that you truly find interesting or people that find you interesting, it can really positively impact your day. We all desire to have positive reinforcement around us which supports what we think of ourselves. Most of us, hold ourselves in high regard. We think we are authentic, good people that obey the law, are kind and treat our neighbors like we want to be treated. So we feel rotten when we let ourselves 32 | 05.01.19 04.24.19

down. Or when we don’t live up to the expectation, we have placed on ourselves. When we look in the mirror and can’t look at the image because we are embarrassed that we may have given up our power, if only for a minute. It is important to stay in control and not be afraid of the downstream impacts of letting someone down. When we let them down, sometimes we lift ourselves up. By disappointing them, we may very well be living our own authentic truth. Letting them down easy, all the while maintaining our own truth, is the way to go. You don’t have to be mean by saying no, you can say “not this time” or “I am going to pass,” or “I don’t feel like it today.” The receiver of each one of those statements will find it easier to digest and avoid feeling like you are saying “no” to hurt them. Or you are saying “no” as a personal attack. Telling someone “no” should not be taken personally. It is not a derogatory or inflammatory term. It is just the opposite of yes. Saying no gives you back the power. And there is nothing wrong with being in control of your own power. If you don’t wanna do it - don’t. If you don’t wanna go - don’t. If you don’t want to participate - bail. If you don’t want to accept the project at work decline. If you don’t want to date someone - politely decline the offer. Each one of us has the power to hold our head’s high, back straight, sometimes voice trembling and simply form a complete, profound and necessary statement by simply saying. “No” (oh, and maybe the word “thanks” behind it).

PALS Drag Queen Bingo

Pajama Party May 14, 2019

For tickets visit our website www.palsatlanta.org Hostess Bubba Dee peachATL.com | 33

I explained to Leonardo that it was my first time in a gay bar and that he was the first person I had ever spoken to about my sexuality in the flesh. He bought me a drink, the one and only drink I had that evening. Even though I was completely sober, our conversation culminated in kissing, right in front of the entire bar. I was shocked that I was having my first gay kiss in such a public way. All of a sudden, it hit me that someone from the law school could be there to see what I was doing. But I had waited so long for this, and it was finally happening. Leonardo was anxious to take me home with him, but a kiss was as far as I was willing to go in that moment. I told him that I needed to go home, but that he could call me sometime. I proceeded to give him a fake telephone number. Before everyone had smartphones, this was a lot easier to get away with.

My First

GAY

BY JEFF FULLER

In the fall of 2001, a couple of weeks after September 11, I decided to venture into a gay bar for the very first time. At the time, I was a law student studying at the University of TennesseeKnoxville. Right behind the law school was a gay club called the Carousel II, known for its drag shows and high-energy dance floor. My curiosity had been building up over the previous few years, and the national trauma of September 11 confirmed for me that life could be very short, so why keeping waiting to find out what this was all about? I stayed at the law school late one Saturday night, waiting until everyone had gone home. Quietly, I made my way into the Carousel. Going into the smoke-filled bar, I briefly wondered if anyone would find me attractive or if I would find someone attractive. These fears proved unfounded. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think I had darkened the door of the bar for ten minutes before I was swooped up by a gregarious, fortyish, half-British, half-Brazilian man with a handsome face and gym-hardened physique named Leonardo. As we got acquainted, 34 | 05.01.19

I left the bar feeling conflicted. What had I done? What had I started? Would I be outed at the law school? I realized that I had nobody in my life that I could call after this significant step in my life. I ended up calling an HIV/AIDS hotline to talk to somebody about the odds of catching the disease from a kiss, something I already knew to be exceedingly unlikely. Whoever I spoke with at the call center that night was so patient with me and listened to me recount the story of my first gay bar and first gay kiss. I think he knew that all I really needed was someone to talk to and ended up giving me some resources for coming out. While I had chatted about my sexuality online on AOL and Yahoo Chat, it was my first bar experience that truly started to help me feel comfortable in my own skin. At the time, it was possible to show up at a bar alone and meet all sorts of people, hear their stories, and maybe more if you were lucky. Now that we have smartphone apps for making connections, the bars have lost a bit of their purpose as places for meeting and greeting. But for many in my generation, the first gay bar is a memorable rite of passage, an important step out of the closet, and feelings of fear mixed with fascination. -Apart from being a Gay Generation-Xer, Jeff Fuller is an attorney, writer, travel blogger, historian, and military spouse. Originally from Cleveland, Ohio, Jeff went to college, graduate school and law school in the Southeast. He has called Atlanta home for the last decade but recently moved to DC to follow his husband on his military career. He occasionally blogs at journeyingjeff.com.

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Get the details on these and other great upcoming events on our website calendar.

Coming May 31- Jun 2

with Del Shores Performing!

You deserve Personalized Care & Individual Attention – that’s what we deliver at Family Health Care of Atlanta • Participating in many clinical trials • Certiied HIV Specialist, American Academy of HIV Medicine • 20+ years experience in Family & HIV Care SPECIALIZING IN DERMATOLOGY, STD’S, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, UROLOGY, PSYCHIATRIC DISORDERS

OCTOBER 11-13,2019 atlantapride.org

RÜFÜS DU SOL

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WHAT SO NOT • SNAKEHIPS • LANE 8 • BOOGIE T MAY 10-11, 2019

SOLARDO • SNBRN • DOMBRESKY • MOON BOOTS WHIPPED CREAM • GG MAGREE • DIRT MONKEY • WIN + WOO PAZ • MANTIS • EDDIE GOLD • MOVIN’ KEYZ

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CHRIS LAKE • BIG WILD • EKALI • PARTY FAVOR CLOZEE • VANIC • SQUNTO • DUCKY • CRAY • SLUMBERJACK MIDNIGHT KIDS • ZEKE BEATS • XIE • PLS&TY FUNK HUNTERS • DJ ZOE GRAY • AIRWOLF

beck • incubus

FRIDAY, MAY 3

tears for fears • tash sultana • dashboard confessional

liz phair • sharon van etten • oh sees • black lips yellow days • the joy formidable • foxing • idles • curtis harding face to face (ACOUSTIC) • peach pit • devon gilfillian • wilderado low cut connie • hannah wicklund and the steppin stones i don't know how but they found me • duncan fellows • taylor janzen SATURDAY, MAY 4

cage the elephant

gary clark jr. • interpol • jim james • the struts

music festival MAY 3–5 • ATLANTA, GA CENTRAL PARK

TICKETS AT SHAKYKNEESFESTIVAL.COM

fidlar • the dandy warhols • bad books • japanese breakfast wallows • mark lanegan band • soccer mommy • jade bird • chon pedro the lion • natalie prass • mipso • julia jacklin • cleopatrick ruen brothers • bones owens • liily • walden

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SUNDAY, MAY 5

foals • Maggie Rogers • grouplove phosphorescent • tyler childers • deerhunter • honne calpurnia • electric guest • caamp • rayland baxter • the murlocs lucy dacus • slothrust • welshly arms • the nude party • demob happy the blue stones • illiterate light • the inspector cluzo

May 1 – May 8

Mix-It-Up Midtown Networking Event

Atlanta Margarita + Taco Festival

Join Midtown Alliance’s networking mixer event where you can connect with others who live, work, and do business in Midtown.

Grant Park hosts the third festival, where you can experience Atlanta’s best tacos and margarita’s from restaurants and food trucks across town and learn about different types of tequila in the tasting exhibition. Saturday, May 4, 12-6 pm Grant Park

Thursday, May 2, 5:30-7:30 pm High note Roof Top Bar

STAFF PICK!

32nd Annual HRC Atlanta Gala Dinner & Auction The HRC Atlanta’s annual black-tie fundraiser is finally here. Enjoy an evening of live and silent auctions, dinner, and special speakers to celebrate accomplishments and progress towards lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer equality. Saturday, May 4, 6-10 pm Hyatt Regency Atlanta

Gay Day at the Zoo

Cinco de Mayo Celebrations

Gay Day at the Zoo takes place on the first Sunday of May, which is also International Family Equality Day. There is no planned program for the day; just come hang out at the zoo with your friends and family, be visible, find community, and have fun.

Pull up to your preferred watering hole and enjoy the margarita specials and perhaps a few tequila shots. Drink responsibly by ridesharing, and have a happy Cinco de Mayo!

Sunday, May 5, 12-5 pm Zoo Atlanta

Sunday, May 5 All Over Atlanta!

38 | 05.01.19

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40 | 05.01.19

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MIDTOWN 1

Monroe Dr. NE

Amsterdam Ave.

NE ve . tA

Piedmont Park

6 12th St. NE

Pi e

Juniper St. NE

14th St. NE

10th St. NE

. NE

oe Dr

e. NE Piedmont Av

Juniper St . NE

Peachtree St. NE

Monr

Charle s Alle n Dr . N E

12 W. Peachtree St. NW

4th St. NE

BARS Amsterdam Blake's Bulldogs Friends The Model T My Sister’s Room Ten Atlanta

Dining 502 Amsterdam Ave NE 227 10th St NE 893 Peachtree St NE 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 66 12th St NE 990 Piedmont Ave NE

9 10 11 12

10 th & Piedmont Campagnolo Einstein's F.R.O.G.S

clubs 13 Atlanta Eagle

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

14 Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE

spa/bath 15 Flex Spa

42 | 05.01.19

991 Piedmont Ave NE 980 Piedmont Ave NE 1077 Juniper St NE 931 Monroe Cir NE

fitness

retail 8 Barking Leather

Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

P o n ce D e Leo n Pl . N E

Spring St. NW

76 4th St. NW

16 17 18 19

G’s Midtown Henry’s Joe's on Juniper La Hacienda

219 10th St NE 132 10th St NE 1049 Juniper St NE 900 Monroe Dr NE

billards/Darts drag dancers leather non-smoking area Patio

When the world throws you Let be your savedandgay.com

Cheshire 23

ansley 21

on tC ir .

Piedmont Park BARS 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1086 Alco St NE 1931 Piedmont Cir NE 2425 Piedmont Rd NE 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd

32 33 34 35 36

Midtown Moon Felix's The Hideaway Mixx Oscar's

805 Lambert Dr. NE, Suite A 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1739 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2201 Faulkner Rd NE

Spa / bath 2103 Faulkner Rd NE 2135 Liddell Drive NE

1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1544 Piedmont Ave NE 1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

Dining 38 Eclectic Bistro

Fitness 30 Gravitee Fitness

clubs 28 Heretic 29 Tokyo Valentino

e. nt mo ed

39 38

Retail 26 Barking Leather 27 Southern Nights

28 20

Dining 24 Las Margaritas 25 Roxx

ge Rd Brid hire

Ches

BJ Roosters Opus 1 Tripps Woof's

31 Manifest 4 U 42 The Den

id Br

BARS 20 21 22 23

hir

ll D

31 er

Pi e

idde

. NE

Manchester St. NE

Piedmont Rd. NE

42 L

x Rd

Le no

Lambert Dr.

St.

A l co

1600 Piedmont Ave NE 1425 Piedmont Ave NE

Retail 39 Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE 40 Brushstrokes/Pleasures 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

Fitness 41 Equilibrium Fitness

1529 Piedmont Ave, Suite L

NOT SHOWN

Mary's Sister Louisaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Church Swinging Richards Lips Atlanta

1287 Glenwood Ave SE 466 Edgewood Ave SE 1400 Northside Dr NW 3011 Buford Hwy NE

peachATL.com | 43

A snapshot of Gay Atlanta’s favorite destinations. View their ads in Peach ATL & visit their websites for weekly event listings.

Bars & Clubs

MIDTOWN

amsterdamatlanta.com

AMSTERDAM

502 Amsterdam Ave. NE

AMSTERDAM

502 Amsterdam Ave. NE

ATLANTA EAGLE

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

atlantaeagle.com

BLAKE’S ON THE PARK

227 10th St NE

blakesontheparkatlanta.com

BULLDOGS

FRIENDS NEIGHBORHOOD BAR

736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

893 Peachtree St NE

friendsonponce-atl.com

893 Peachtree St NE

friendsonponce-atl.com

MODEL T

699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

modeltatlanta.com

MY SISTER’S ROOM

66 12th St NE

mysistersroom.com

EAST ATLANTA, GRANT PARK & EDGEWOOD MARY’S

marysatlanta.com

1287 Glenwood Ave SE

SISTER LOUISA’S CHURCH sisterlouisaschurch.com 466 Edgewood Ave SE

SWINGING RICHARDS swingingrichards.com

1400 Northside Dr NW

Dining MIDTOWN 10TH & PIEDMONT

10thandpiedmont.com 991 Piedmont Ave NE

EINSTEIN’S

einsteinsatlanta.com 1077 Juniper St NE

TEN ATLANTA

FROGS CANTINA

990 Piedmont Ave NE

931 Monroe Dr

CHESHIRE

HERETIC

gsmidtown.com

2069 Cheshire Bridge Road

BJ ROOSTERS

2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

tenatlanta.com

hereticatlanta.com

bjroosters.com

tenatlanta.com

hereticatlanta.com

bjroosters.com

frogsmidtown.com

G’S

219 10th St NE

HENRY’S

henrysatl.com

132 10th St NE

JOE’S ON JUNIPER joesonjuniper.com

OPUS 1

TRIPPS

1931 Piedmont Circle N

900 Monroe Dr NE

WOOFS

CHESHIRE

2425 Piedmont Road NE

LAS MARGARITAS

ANSLEY

1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

MIDTOWN MOON

FELIX’S

THE HIDEAWAY

1544 Piedmont Ave NE

MIXX

1492 Piedmont Ave NE

1086 Alco St NE 1931 Piedmont Circle N

woofsatlanta.com

1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

mixxatlanta.com

1086 Alco St NE

woofsatlanta.com

1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

OSCAR’S

1510 Piedmont Ave NE

44 | 05.01.19

LA HACIENDA

lahaciendamidtown.com

lasmargaritasmidtown.com

ROXX 1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

DEKALB

LIPS ATLANTA

atldragshow.com

3011 Buford Hwy NE

mixxatlanta.com

OSCAR’S

oscarsatlanta.com

1049 Juniper St NE

oscarsatlanta.com

Retail

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10 drinks for Cinco de Mayo

Pick your poison and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t drink them all at once!

Tequila shot

Mexican beer

Classic Margarita

Mexican Mimosa (grapefruit juice + sparkling wine)

Mexican Mule (tequila + beer + grapefruit juice)

Frozen fruit margarita

Sunny Mexico Shot (Galiano + tequila)

Tequila Sunrise 8.

Mexican Sunset

Salud!

46 | 05.01.19

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Extra Innings Sunday May 5th 2pm - 8pm

Live Music by El Kartel Atlanta United on Huge Outside Screen

$5 Margaritas $2 Cerveza Jello Shots Rafï¬&#x201A;e Prizes

$15 Donation includes a Margarita (must be wearing your team shirt )

1842 Cheshire Bridge Road, Atlanta, GA 30324 peachATL.com | 47

Text your Peach Pits to 540-30-PEACH, or e-mail mikkel@PeachATL.com

Me: I wasn’t THAT drunk!

Him: You kept calling a guy with a beard Dumbledore.

You have to be odd to be number one

Me: I kinda remember that. I could’ve been joking. Him: You thought the intercom at the store was the voice of god ...

Dad Joke Alert What did one avocado half say to the other? “Without you, I’m empty inside!”

Me: Ok, don’t remember that… Him: Yeah, you were THAT drunk!

Here’s a way to put a smile on your face: Google dog sniffing camera lens

How

I would like to get drunk on Cinco de Mayo but I have to get sober form uno, dos, tres, and cuatro de Mayo first

convenient wouldn’t it be if all holidays were named after the day on which they fall? Like Cinco de Mayo or Fourth of July!?

Asking for a friend Is Cinco de Mayo really about getting drunk and pretending you’re Mexican for a day?

48 | 05.01.19

I know you say looks aren’t everything – but I have them just in case.

CAN YOU FEEL THE...

10PM - 3AM NO COVER

SATURDAY MAY 4TH

DJ ERIC JAMES 306 PONCE DE LEON AVE, NE ATLANTA, GA 30308

LIBRA (SEP. 23 - OCT. 22) It’s okay to feel selfish today. You do and you do and you do for those people for what? Do unto yourself today, because no one else is going to. Make a list of your five favorite things to do, and rank them in terms of how recently you’ve made time to do them. Then do the one that is at the top of the list -- you deserve it!

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21) People will be drawn to you like paparazzi to Brangelina today and, for once, you won’t mind the attention. You’ll make the social rounds and enjoy the company of those you meet. They’ll like you, too, until you inevitably start stinging them with that pointed tail. Then they won’t be so enthusiastic.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21) TAURUS (APR. 20 - MAY 20) You have a tendency to cling to boyfriends with the strangling intensity of an anaconda. Strange, though, that no matter how tightly you coil, they still manage to get away. Perhaps a looser grip will keep them from running away in the first place.

It’s good to use your dreams as an insight to what’s going on in your subconscious. In your case, you may want to call a therapist. Perhaps he can best explain the type of dreams that would have Freud, Dr. Phil and the Amazing Kreskin baffled.

GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN. 20)

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19)

You may not like taking the risk, but you may have to probe into unknowable depths today. It’ll be strange and new and you may stumble along the way. But you’ll suddenly have a feeling that you’ve been there before, and the rest will be sheer pleasure. Ah, aren’t those first dates the best?

Today’s a good one for decision making. Your confidence and research usually produce a surefire winner, and you rarely make the wrong choices. Word of this gift may filter to friends, who will ask you to make their decisions for them. Kindly decline, because your superpowers only work on yourself.

CANCER (JUN. 21 - JUL. 22) Your emotions will rage like a storm at sea today. The churning and upheavals will be enough to make a normal man nauseous, but you’ve navigated these waters many times. This tempest will run it’s course, too, and it’ll be smooth waters until the next one blows in.

LEO (JUL. 23 - AUG. 22)

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18) A fight with a friend or lover may have you feeling emotionally exposed today. There’s nothing worse than a knock down drag-out brawl with another to make you feel like crap. Offer an olive branch today, and maybe you can talk without coming to blows.

PISCES (FEB. 19 - MAR. 20)

Your search for Mr. Right may be hampered by your inability to see past the surface. He may look good on the outside, but that’s all there is. Get to know someone before jumping head over heels. He may not be there waiting for you with a net.

Prepare for a coming onslaught as your emotions begin to rage. You’ll question every aspect of your life shortly before bursting into tears. You’ll scream at people who ask what’s wrong with you, then fall into a pitiful display of self-loathing and despair. You know, just an average day.

VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEP. 22)

ARIES (MAR. 21 - APR. 19)

Your emotions will determine whether you’re prancing through fields of flowers today, or shaking your fist at the storm clouds. It could go either way and the truth is you won’t be able to control it. You’ll have people around you walking on eggshells, not knowing with which ‘you’ they’re dealing.

Take some time to chill out and find some balance. It’s great to have goals, and working toward them can give one’s life a sense of purpose. But one-track minds often don’t see all the lovely roses along the way. Smell that? Thought so.

50 | 05.01.19

By Mikkel Hyldebrandt Trouble in the love department? With sex? Or just people in general? Send us your queries, questions, and problems, and you’ll get answers served straight up and with a little ice.

used to be the only out gay person on my rugby team in college, and once a year we have a team reunion. This year one of the guys invited us all to his cabin in the mountains for the weekend. Once I got there, I immediately noticed that this guy – let’s call him Ben – paid extra attention to me. A brush on the shoulder, a pat on my back, and he purposely laid his sleeping bag next to mine. After a night of drinking and stories around the bonfire, we ended up alone, and he shakingly told me he thought that he had feelings for me and that he was possibly gay but was very confused about it. I talked to him about it and, told him I was there if he needed to speak, and then we went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up to him still lying next to me (in his sleeping bag), while everyone else had gotten up and gone downstairs. He then got out of his sleeping bag but in doing that he flashed his erection to me, and he paused and asked if we should try something. It took everything in me to say no, because of our conversation the night before. We got up, and the rest of the trip things were a little awkward between us. Should I have just fooled around with him or was I right for not doing it? I feel I would have gone too far with him and only added to his confusion. Sincerely Cabin Fire Dear Cabin Fire What you are describing sounds like something out of a well-made LGBT movie and the stuff sexual fantasies are made of. And not a lot of guys would have been able to resist that level of temptation, so good for you! Because you did do the right thing by not engaging in a sexual act with him. If he is struggling right now with figuring out who he is, then you would be a much bigger help as an out gay person in his life who he can talk to and ask questions. If he had told you that he is very likely gay, and was experimenting with other guys, then you should have lived out that fantasy scenario, but because he was obviously conflicted your assessment of it just adding to his confusion was absolutely correct. So now, offer your help, be a support, and if you both go to the reunion next year, there might be better grounds for you to fool around then.

have been blessed with dating some really awesome guys, and I have even been in a few shorter relationships. Every time, they have ended undramatically and just kind of fizzled out before they got super serious. Now I am in a different situation. I am with a great guy, but I feel like I need to break up with him because I just don’t feel the same about him anymore. He, on the other hand, is very much in love with me, and I don’t know how to do an actual breakup. It feels terrible that I have to do this to another person – why can’t it just casually end like it’s has before? Help, please! Sincerely Baby Steps Breakup Dear Baby Steps Breakup People tend to see breakups in a kind of old-fashioned way: they happen because of flaws, defects, or irreconcilable turns of events. That’s not what is going on in your case. It could be you are together because of some sort co-dependency or maybe a physical attraction. The way you describe how earlier relationships have just ‘fizzled out’ tells me that you have not taken the same emotional steps in your relationships as your boyfriend. Should you break up with him? You probably should, because if you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling it – or perhaps you are just not ready for an emotional commitment! Do yourself and your boyfriend a favor and don’t procrastinate. Will it hurt him? Probably. Will you feel shitty about it? Yes. But you know what? This will be a valuable lesson in how you respect other people’s feelings and your own, and that’s a huge step towards becoming more mature. It’s how life works; we appreciate things for what they were, we let them go, and we gain the strength to move on.

NEED ANSWERS? REACH OUT TO US, AND YOU WILL GET THEM! SEND YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS TO OUR EDITOR AT MIKKEL@PEACHATL.COM.

52 | 05.01.19

Flex is hiring all positions and all shifts