Peach Magazine v04-12 - Spring It On!

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Contents

MARCH 25, 2020

V4-12 PEACH ATL MEDIA, LLC 925b Peachtree St. NE, #168 Atlanta, GA 30309

22

10

MANAGING PARTNER Brian Sawyer brian@peachatl.com

OPERATIONS Jeff Anderson Sales and Development Director

jeff@peachatl.com

32

26

EDITORIAL Mikkel Hyldebrandt Editorial Director mikkel@peachatl.com Brian Sawyer

From the Editor

Graphics

These are indeed strange times we live in, and we at Peach hope you and your loved ones are staying safe during this time of constant change and uncertainty. We also hope that Peach will remain an element of stability in your life and that you will continue to read Atlanta’s weekly and most picked-up entertainment guide that delivers the best in community events, arts, gay culture, and entertainment. If you are unable to pick it up at your usual pickup spot (we are still out in print!), we have made sure to make the online version of Peach available, along with some great exclusive content, at peachatl.com. We feel a great sense of responsibility to remain focused on our area of expertise; to provide you and the LGBTQ+ community with the best possible support – and perhaps give you an entertaining break from all the turmoil we are experiencing right now. With that in mind, I hope you will enjoy this issue of Peach.

SALES | DISTRIBUTION Andrea Dwyer andrea@peachatl.com

CONTRIBUTORS Project Publicity John Stein

NATIONAL AD REP Rivendell Media 908.232.202

Mikkel Hyldebrandt Editorial Director IG @hyldebrandt

ONLINE

PRINT

SOCIAL

peachatl.com

At Distribution Points Across the City

FB:facebook.com/peachatlmag

The content of Peach ATL Media is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Peach ATL Media are not necessarily those of this publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through Peach ATL Media meets your specific requirements. Peach ATL Media is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to Peach ATL Media, including but not limited to articles, advertisements, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of Peach ATL Media may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the publisher. Unauthorized use of Peach ATL Media may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in Peach ATL Media is strictly at your own risk.

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www.peachatl.com



Safer Apart, Stronger Together

A Special Statement from PEACH ATL

e are living in an extraordinary and highly unusual time at the moment. A time in which people must isolate themselves from each other for the public good and to protect themselves, their friends, and families from illness.

W

The current issue has been printed and is available at many of our most popular pickup spots. You can also go to peachatl.com, where you can read the online version of this and previous issues of the magazine, and we will be posting exclusive content there as well.

Now, more than ever, Peach Magazine is here for you to support and update our community and perhaps give you a much-needed break from the added fear, stress, and pressure from dealing with the ramifications of the spread of COVID-19.

We are all in this together – but at a distance for now – and together we will ride this one out and emerge even stronger as a community than before.

That is why our staff will continue to publish Peach Magazine both in print and online. Partly, so our beloved readers can continue to connect to our vibrant community making the social distance more of a physical one. And partly, for our advertisers and community partners, who can use Peach Magazine and all of our resources to update the public about postponed events and provide information about new business initiatives.

If you have any questions or requests, please reach out to me at mikkel@ peachatl.com or Jeff Anderson (sales) at jeff@peachatl.com - allow us to be your resource and support. Stay safe, show compassion, and stay strong.

Sincerely, Mikkel Hyldebrandt, Editorial Director on behalf of the Peach ATL team


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AHorse Growing up in conservative Oklahoma, A Horse with a Horn walked a very different road through adolescence from that of his peers. He was six when he first pierced his ears. Eight when he bleached his hair and nine when he dyed it blue. By twelve-years-old, A Horse with a Horn was experimenting with alcohol and drugs and in the second week of middle school, he was found unresponsive from alcohol poisoning. Luckily his sister was trained in CPR and saved his life. Five months later, he overdosed on prescription pills. At thirteen, he attempted to take his own life and was committed to a mental health facility. It was in the hospital that the truth for all of his wild behaviors finally came out. “I had been sexually abused by multiple people: my babysitter’s sons and my mother’s boyfriend’s son. I don’t think I even knew what I was experiencing was abuse until the final rape that broke me and led to my hospitalization.” He would eventually be diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a situation he finally believes he has under control, although it does still rear its nasty head into his love life every now and then. “I hate the things that happened to me and the crazy shit I put my family through, but I wouldn’t be the human I am today without having survived the mess. I feel like one of my main purposes in this world is to share my story to maybe help someone else suffering from similar trauma.” It’s given him plenty of material, as well. The songs on Mindless, A Horse with a Horn’s debut album, are all about embracing love through the good times and the bad; facing demons and figuring out emotions. It’s about navigating other humans and understanding one another as well as one’s self. His video for “Right in My Face” is available now on YouTube, and we spoke with the self-proclaimed queerdo artist from his home in Los Angeles. The title of your album comes from the realization that you don’t always make the best decisions in


with a

Horn By John Stein for Project Publicity Photos: IG @ahorsewithahorn

relationships. What are examples of some of your worst decisions? The album title is really intended to speak about both parties of the relationship playing “Mindless” games, but if we are talking about me, the worst decisions I have made in past relationships were acts of infidelity. The are some people in my past that I know I truly hurt with this careless behavior even if I truly did love and care about them. In my early twenties, before I decided to focus on my mental health, I spent a lot of my time in manic episodes. I let a lot of my insecurities and past trauma lead me to reckless behavior of self-sabotage that other people had to also suffer through. The things I did were never meant to hurt others, only myself. I am fortunate enough to have been forgiven by the ones I hurt during that difficult time of self-discovery. Aren’t most young men mindless when it comes to love? There are plenty of emotionally intelligent men out there that can love without playing games. But I do think a lot of people, regardless of their gender identity, play plenty of mindless games when it comes to love. We are all constantly learning to navigate other humans, and even ourselves. What are you looking for in a partner? I’ve found it! I’ve been with my partner over a year and a half at this point and it’s something way beyond what I ever thought I deserved. The thing I find most important in relationships is having a best friend and lover in one. I never fight with my partner and we love pretty much all the same things, minus video games. I don’t have the patience or the time. We are politically aligned, sexually aligned, and everything else aligned. People say we are in the honeymoon phase because we still can’t be separated but I think that time has passed and we just make so much sense to each other and enjoy all the same things that we have no need to do things separately. They say opposites attract but for me, I would not agree. I love having someone to connect with that truly gets me down to core, even when it comes to the darker side of my past. Oh, and I also love that we have the same weird style because my accessory collection has doubled.


You’ve been open about your being diagnosed as bi-polar so I have to ask: how does the disorder play into your relationship? In the past, it led me to pursue relationships with other unstable people. Now that I am healthy and taking care of my disorder, I feel it has no role in my relationship. It’s been quite some time since I’ve felt a lack of control, and I am grateful that I had taken care of myself before meeting my partner. You’ve also been open about being sexually abused as a child. Has that impacted your ability to love and trust another person? I think it has done the opposite. I feel my openness about my trauma creates stronger bonds with both lovers and friends and helps build that trust. As for love, I’ve gotta lot of love to give. My family was very loving throughout my entire life and my mom always instilled that it was important to tell people you love them as much as possible because you never know when it’s your last opportunity. I think this really helped me stay loving and caring to others, even though it took me most of my life learn to love myself. In the “Right in my Face” video, we see you capturing an all-American boy and forcing him into the dark side. Is that something you’ve done or would like to do? I never want anyone forced into anything in life. The video is really rather a metaphor of embracing something seemingly scary, like breaking the mold of the traditional world and embracing individuality even when you feel the world might not accept it. I know my style and vibe is not everyone’s cup of tea but I feel like the message is universal. So many people live by other people’s rules and I think it’s time to change that. We are still living in a world full of bigotry and it’s time to change that and embrace who we really are. Unless who you are is a bigot, then you definitely need to not embrace that. Embrace your weirdness. Embrace your sexuality. Embrace liberation. Considering your traumatic past, it’s pretty amazing that you have gotten to the point where you are not only embracing your inner desires, but encouraging others to embrace theirs. It was a very long and hard road out of that hell. I suffered through mental health issues, 12 | follow us @peachatlmag

self-mutilation, self-hate, trouble with the law, substance abuse… somehow, I always remained an open book. I always shared my trauma with others and in doing so I learned about many other people’s traumas. It’s quite disheartening to know that so many people have experienced such painful abuse from the hands of others but I learned that opening up and talking about these experiences truly helped people, many who had never even told anyone else about their past. As for embracing myself and my desires, I don’t really know what led me to be so open other than my mom giving me the freedom to discover myself and who I was. I knew who I was at a young age and I was never afraid to express that the world. I mean, I wanted my ears pierced in kindergarten and my hair blue in the fourth grade and I was fortunate enough to be allowed to do it and that continued through my teen years as well. I think my desire to express my individuality and my openness helped encourage others to find their true selves and work towards embracing that. Of all the songs on Mindless, which one best represents who you are as an artist? I think “Mermaids” because it represents me both musically and thematically. The style of the song has a lot of arpeggiated synths in it that were sounds influenced by Fischerspooner’s first album. Fischerspooner, by the way, is the band that is responsible for my love of electroclash/electropop and the reason I am a musician today. I first heard their track “Emerge” when I was 13, and my music tastes were never the same again. If you could give advice to your younger self, what would it be? Keep fucking going. It is going to be a hellacious first twenty years of life, but despite all of the pain and the struggles, you are going to experience so much love and beauty that looking back you will realize it was all worth the fight. You have so much to learn but also so much to teach and share with the world. So just keep fucking going.

A Horse with a Horn’s Mindless is being distributed independently and is available on all digital platforms, and check out his Instagram @ahorsewithahorn. www.peachatl.com


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MARCH MADNESS @ THE HIDEAWAY PHOTOS BY ANDREA DWYER

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Celebrating 30 years of Pets Are Loving Support

Hosted by Bubba Dee

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FREE HIV TESTING FREE PrEP PLUS, low-cost STI screening 678-365-4300 523 Church St. Decatur, GA 30030


50 TH ANNIVERSARY ATLANTA PRIDE CELEBRATION

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Kalebh is from Brazil, born in the city of SĂŁo Paulo. He moved to the U.S. two years ago to achieve his goals and grow professionally, and he now works in Atlanta as a nurse that specializes in urgency, emergency, and pediatrics. He loves animals and making new friends, and he tries to make people happy by simply helping them out. Kalebh also loves to travel, and his favorite place is on the beach feeling the warmth of the sun.

@kalebh

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As a part of our mission to help friends keep friends, we are opening our doors in 2018 to anyone needing to get their pet vaccinated and heartworm tested. Not only is this a great deal for you, it is also a fundraiser for PALS Atlanta!!

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Peach Off-Calendar In consideration of the effects of the coronavirus, our usual calendar lineup will be replaced by activities and happenings that will keep you at a safe, social distance while still providing you with some fun and purpose while hunkered down at home. Cashless Tipping

Have a Little Faith

Many of our bartenders, servers, entertainers, et cetera are not working at all or very little right now. Consider tipping them through a cash app - for example, when you fix a drink at your house, virtually tip your favorite bartender, or tip a drag queen when your favorite sing-along song comes on.

Places of worship are closed for now, but if you need a little spiritual guidance and support, many churches have free online sermons that you can download or stream. The gay-friendly Atlanta churches New Covenant Church of Atlanta and Saint Mark’s are also adapting to our new reality by offering virtual church services – check out their social media for info.

Dancing On Your Own Many of our trusted DJs have had their events canceled, but luckily many are still providing us music to dance to! Check out your favorite DJs on Facebook or Insta and look out for special content – and consider tipping $2-5 which is what they would get from each partygoer at an event. Also, the website dontstopthe.dance features some amazing DJs that unlock amazing content for you if you donate a few dollars.

Get Educated Did you know that top universities across the country offer more than 1,500 free online courses? Why not take the extra time at home to learn something new? Go to openculture.com, and start looking for what you want to learn. Get Cultured

During the extensive coronavirus closures in New York City, the Met Zoom into the Party has launched “Nightly Met Opera Streams,” a free series of encore Join the online cocktail party on Live in HD presentations streamed your phone or computer! With on the company website. a service like Zoom – available in the app store or at zoom.us – Get Fit you can teleconference for free with up to 100 participants! Don’t stop reaching your fitness Take that, Quarantina! goals because you’re confined to your house. Your favorite trainer Online Shopping can help with online training that you can do at home – like Peach’s Many retailers are quickly own Darren Floro-Bryant who is adapting to the new conditions offering free exercise programs and are offering live video on his social media! Check out his shopping that you can do on your Facebook and Instagram @dfloro, phone with FaceTime, Skype, and consider tipping him through or Google Duo – like Worthmore his Venmo @Darren-Floro-Bryant Jewelers that offer live video if you use his at-home training appointments on their website. programs.



MIDTOWN 1

Monroe Dr. NE

14

Amsterdam Ave.

NE ve . tA

Piedmont Park

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dm

6 12th St. NE

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Juniper St. NE

14th St. NE

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10th St. NE

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e. NE Piedmont Av

Juniper St . NE

Peachtree St. NE

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Monr

Charle s Alle n Dr . N E

12 W. Peachtree St. NW

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P o n ce D e Leo n Pl . N E

Spring St. NW

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4th St. NE

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Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

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Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

BARS 1 2 3 4

Amsterdam Blake's Bulldogs Friends

6 My Sister’s Room 7 Ten Atlanta

Dining 502 Amsterdam Ave NE 227 10th St NE 893 Peachtree St NE 736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE 66 12th St NE 990 Piedmont Ave NE

10 th & Piedmont Campagnolo Einstein's F.R.O.G.S

991 Piedmont Ave NE 980 Piedmont Ave NE 1077 Juniper St NE 931 Monroe Cir NE

clubs 13 Atlanta Eagle

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

fitness

retail 8 Barking Leather

9 10 11 12

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

14 Urban Body Fitness 500 Amsterdam Ave NE

spa/bath 15 Flex Spa

28 | follow us @ peachatlmag

76 4th St. NW

16 17 18 19

G’s Midtown Henry’s Joe's on Juniper La Hacienda

219 10th St NE 132 10th St NE 1049 Juniper St NE 900 Monroe Dr NE

billards/Darts drag dancers leather non-smoking area Patio

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When the world throws you Let be your savedandgay.com

Cheshire 23

ansley 21

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tC ir .

NE

Piedmont Park BARS 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1086 Alco St NE 1931 Piedmont Cir NE 2425 Piedmont Rd NE 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd

32 33 34 35 36

Midtown Moon Felix's The Hideaway Mixx Oscar's

1510 Piedmont Ave Suite A 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd 1739 Cheshire Bridge Rd 2201 Faulkner Rd NE

Spa / bath 2135 Liddell Drive NE

1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE 1544 Piedmont Ave NE 1492 Piedmont Ave NE 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

Dining 38 Eclectic Bistro

Fitness 30 Gravitee Fitness

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clubs 28 Heretic 29 Tokyo Valentino

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36 38

Retail 26 Barking Leather 27 Southern Nights

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Dining 24 Las Margaritas 25 Roxx

Av

ge Rd Brid hire Ches

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25 r eB

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BJ Roosters Sequel Tripps Woof's

42 The Den

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Manchester St. NE

Piedmont Rd. NE

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Lambert Dr.

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A l co

1600 Piedmont Ave NE 1425 Piedmont Ave NE

Retail 39 Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave NE 40 Brushstrokes/Pleasures 1510 Piedmont Ave NE

Fitness 41 Equilibrium Fitness

1529 Piedmont Ave, Suite L

NOT SHOWN

Mary's Sister Louisa’s Church Swinging Richards Lips Atlanta The T

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A snapshot of Gay Atlanta’s favorite destinations. View their ads in Peach ATL & visit their websites for weekly event listings.

Bars & Clubs

EAST ATLANTA, GRANT PARK & EDGEWOOD

Retail

MIDTOWN

MARY’S

MIDTOWN

amsterdamatlanta.com

1287 Glenwood Ave SE

AMSTERDAM

502 Amsterdam Ave. NE

ATLANTA EAGLE

marysatlanta.com

SISTER LOUISA’S CHURCH

BARKING LEATHER AFTER DARK barkingleather.com

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

sisterlouisaschurch.com

CHESHIRE

SWINGING RICHARDS

SOUTHERN NIGHTS VIDEO

1400 Northside Dr NW

ANSLEY

BULLDOGS

Dining

BOY NEXT DOOR MENSWEAR

FRIENDS NEIGHBORHOOD BAR

MIDTOWN

1447 Piedmont Ave NE

736 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

10thandpiedmont.com

atlantaeagle.com

306 Ponce De Leon Ave NE

BLAKE’S ON THE PARK

blakesontheparkatlanta.com 227 10th St NE

893 Peachtree St NE

friendsonponce-atl.com

466 Edgewood Ave SE

swingingrichards.com

10TH & PIEDMONT

MY SISTER’S ROOM

991 Piedmont Ave NE

66 12th St NE

einsteinsatlanta.com

mysistersroom.com

TEN ATLANTA

tenatlanta.com

990 Piedmont Ave NE

THE T

modeltatlanta.com

EINSTEIN’S

1077 Juniper St NE

GCB & PLEASURES

brushstrokesatlanta.com 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE

BARKING LEATHER barkingleather.com

1510 Piedmont Ave Suite A

Fitness

931 Monroe Dr

MIDTOWN

frogsmidtown.com

G’S

CHESHIRE

219 10th St NE

gsmidtown.com

HERETIC

HENRY’S

2069 Cheshire Bridge Road

132 10th St NE

henrysatl.com

BJ ROOSTERS

JOE’S ON JUNIPER

2043 Cheshire Bridge Road NE

1049 Juniper St NE

bjroosters.com

boynextdoormenswear.com

FROGS CANTINA

465 Boulevard SE

hereticatlanta.com

2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

joesonjuniper.com

URBAN BODY FITNESS urbanbodyfitness.com

500 Amsterdam Ave NE

CHESHIRE GRAVITEE FITNESS graviteeatl.com

2201 Faulkner Rd NE

SEQUEL

LA HACIENDA

Spas/Baths/Adult

TRIPPS

900 Monroe Dr NE

MIDTOWN

CHESHIRE

FLEX SPA

LAS MARGARITAS

76 4th St NW

1086 Alco St NE 1931 Piedmont Circle N

WOOFS

woofsatlanta.com

2425 Piedmont Road NE

lahaciendamidtown.com

lasmargaritasmidtown.com 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

flexspas.com

CHESHIRE

ANSLEY

ROXX

MIDTOWN MOON

1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd NE

THE DEN

DEKALB

2135 Liddell Drive NE

1492 Piedmont Ave NE

FELIX’S

1510 Piedmont Ave NE

THE HIDEAWAY

LIPS ATLANTA

thedenatlanta.com

atldragshow.com

3011 Buford Hwy NE

1544 Piedmont Ave NE

MIXX

mixxatlanta.com

1492 Piedmont Ave NE

OSCAR’S

oscarsatlanta.com

1510 Piedmont Ave NE

30 | follow us @ peachatlmag

www.peachatl.com


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Ten things to do now that Spring is here Time to start living life outdoors

Open your windows Go hiking Go for a long walk with your pet Get your backyard or balcony ready Take your workout outdoors Plant something! Visit a farm to see and touch some animals Get your bike ready Meditate in fresh air Enjoy a drink on your patio, balcony or stoop! 32 | follow us @ peachatlmag

www.peachatl.com


WE'RE HIRING WE ARE SEEKING Motivated, Hard-Working, Innovative People to be Our Next Superstar Ad Sales Representatives.

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Him: Can you spell me? Me: Yes, of course! E-mail your Peach Pits to mikkel@PeachATL.com

Him: So spell it

Asking for a friend

Me: M e …

When a woman is giving birth, is she literally kidding?

Until further notice: no one can stop by unannounced. I am not sick, I just don’t trust you around my toilet paper.

Him: You forgot D

Me: there’s no D in me

Him: Not yet anyway…

Some of y’all went from DIY, allorganic cleaning products to Clorox real fast, didn’t you?

I’m a man of simple tastes. I simply prefer the best

Maybe she’s losing it. Maybe it’s quarantine.

Daddy Joke Alert How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles

Fact: Bearded men are more likely to cheat on their partners than bearded women 34 | follow us @ peachatlmag

www.peachatl.com


VIRGO (AUG. 23 - SEP. 22) If you start working on small details today, you’ll end up making major headway with a project that has gotten somewhat out of control lately. Recent confusion will resolve into clarity today.

LIBRA (SEP. 23 - OCT. 22) Several worrisome minor problems are adding up to a somewhat heavy load today -- but you mustn’t let them weigh you down into immobility. Take things one at a time -- by the end of the day, you’ll have made good progress.

ARIES (MAR. 21 - APR. 19)

SCORPIO (OCT. 23 - NOV. 21)

If you need to take a break from your long to-do list today, don’t waste it on surfing the Internet (though you may be tempted to simply veg out for a while). A bit of exercise will clear your head and give you energy.

It may be time to reveal a secret you’ve been keeping -- something about yourself that embarrasses you. Someone close to you has the same secret, and your revelation will help you both understand that you’re not alone.

TAURUS (APR. 20 - MAY 20)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21)

Express your love for other people in tangible ways today -- material (flowers or a small gift) or physical (a hug or a gentle stroke). Today is one of those days when actions really do speak louder than words.

An authority figure of some sort may find fault with you today, or ask that you redo a job you’ve already done. Don’t react in anger. Take a deep breath and get to work. Tonight, exercise will release the tension.

GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN. 20)

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19)

Pay bills, take care of errands and attend to household chores -- today may not be the most exciting day you’ve ever had, but it would be a good idea (and personally satisfying) to take care of these humdrum matters today.

An authority figure of some sort may find fault with you today, or ask that you redo a job you’ve already done. Don’t react in anger. Take a deep breath and get to work. Tonight, exercise will release the tension.

CANCER (JUN. 21 - JUL. 22)

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18)

When was the last time you hosted a dinner party? Well, today is an excellent day for event planning. You’ll likely find some inspiration in a cookbook or a food magazine. Try out a new recipe tonight.

Today you should shift your focus from the big picture to the fine print -- all your wonderfully innovative, creative ideas will come to nothing if you disregard these small (but significant) details.

LEO (JUL. 23 - AUG. 22)

PISCES (FEB. 19 - MAR. 20)

Although you may be in the mood for decisive action today, find time for a session of clearheaded strategizing. Don’t make any moves forward until you have the entire route (and a realistic budget) mapped out.

Expect to gain a new understanding of a relationship today -- you may discover that someone’s feelings for you are deeper than you thought. Alternatively, you may realize that you’re the one whose feelings have deepened.


Trouble in the love department? With sex? Or just people in general? Send us your queries, questions, and problems, and you’ll get answers served straight up and with a little ice.

I have gone on a date with this guy four times now, and every time the same scenario: we have a few drinks, we start making out at the bar, and then it seems like we are about to move on, but then he says that he doesn’t want to have sex drunk, and we end up just calling it a night! On date number four, we did end up going to his place, and once again, he said that we shouldn’t have sex because he was too drunk. But then we started to make out again on his couch, and he opened my pants and started fondling me. Even though I really wanted to continue, I asked him if we shouldn’t stop for the reason he had just given me: no sex when drunk! We then abruptly stopped, and I went home, and since then, I haven’t heard a lot from him – and I’m a little confused. Didn’t I do the right thing in the situation? Did he think I was rejecting him, and therefore I’m no longer interested? Sincerely Consent and Cofusion Dear Consent and Confusion You did do the right thing in the situation. You respected his wish, and despite your own desire, you stopped in your tracks and respected him. He may have granted you consent in that situation, but what you did was right, so good for you, because the rules of consent weren’t clear. As for him not texting you back, maybe he is a little embarrassed and does feel rejected by you. Perhaps he was indeed so drunk that the memory of the episode is muddled? So what do you do now? How about you reach out to him again, and you arrange for a fifth date – and this time you don’t go to a bar, so alcohol is no longer in the picture? This way, you will be able to express your intentions better, and maybe you will be able to take the next – consensual – step. --

I was the only out gay person on my rugby team in college, and once a year we have a reunion, and this year one of the guys invited us all to his mountain cabin for the weekend. Once there, I immediately noticed that this guy – let’s call him Jack – paid extra attention to me. A brush on the shoulder, a pat on my back, and he purposely laid his sleeping bag next to mine. After a night of drinking and stories around the bonfire, we ended up alone, and he nervously told me he thought that he had feelings for me and that he was possibly gay but was very confused about it. I talked to him about it and told him I was there if he needed to speak, and then we went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up to him still lying next to me (in his sleeping bag), while everyone else had gotten up and gone downstairs. As he got out of his sleeping bag, he let me get a good look at his erection, and he paused and asked me if we should try something. It took everything in me to say no, because of our conversation the night before. We got up, and the rest of the trip, things were a little awkward between us. Should I have just fooled around with him, or was I right for not doing it? I feel I would have gone too far with him and made him even more confused. Sincerely Cabin Fever Dear Cabin Fever This is the stuff sexual fantasies are made of – and not a lot of guys would not have been able to resist that level temptation, so good for you! Because you did do the right thing by not engaging in a sexual act with him. If he is struggling to figure out who he is, then you will be a much bigger help as an out gay person in his life who he can talk to and ask questions. If he had told you that he is very likely gay, and was experimenting with other guys, then you should have lived out that fantasy scenario, but because he was conflicted, your assessment of it just adding to his confusion was absolutely correct. So now, offer your help, be a support, and if you both go to the reunion next year, there might be better grounds for you to fool around there.

NEED ANSWERS? SEND YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS TO MIKKEL@PEACHATL.COM 36 | follow us @ peachatlmag

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