5 minute read
Mission for Mac
By Cameron McCullough Photos Gary Sissons & Supplied
It is the contract of parenthood. Protect your kids at all costs. Teach them to look each way when crossing roads, and watch for any potential harm. But what if the harm can’t be foreseen? What if it is so invisible and insidious? What if its danger can’t be comprehended until it is too late?
Wayne Holdsworth is on a mission to shine a light on this type of harm with his organisation “Smacktalk” and he is taking the fight from sporting clubs and community groups, right to the halls of power in Canberra. His solution? Be a better listener, and “Smacktalk” is all about teaching people to listen. To really listen.
But how did “Smacktalk” come into existence. It all comes down to three letters in the name. M, A, and C.
Mac, short for MacKenzie, was Wayne’s 17-year-old son. Mac loved his sport, playing footy for Mornington Junior Football Club and basketball at Frankston District Basketball Association, where his dad is CEO. He was loved and cherished by his friends and family. Mac always told his dad he was fine; he wasn’t. Mac took his own life on 24 October 2023.
It all started when Mac befriended a girl on Snapchat who was a friend of some of his friends. They began exchanging messages in a flirty way, and then began exchanging increasingly revealing photos.
She sent him a photo of herself nude, but without her head in the photo. Mac did the same. She then sent a nude photo with her head in the photo. He did the same.
Then the phone rang. On the other end of the line was a middleaged man:
“I’ve got your photo, and I’ve hacked your Snapchat. Mac, you are going to put $500 into this bank account in five minutes, or I will send it to all your contacts.”
Mac was being sextorted.
In panic, Mac deposited the $500. Then his phone rang again “Now I want another $500 or I will send the picture to all your contacts.”
It was at this point that Mac went to his dad, Wayne, and told him everything. “Dad, I’ve made a big mistake.”
He hugged his son and said “Mate, you’ve done nothing wrong. You are the victim here. Everything is going to be all right.”
The next phone call from the scammer, Wayne answered. The scammer didn’t care that Mac’s parent was intervening. He wanted the money or else. When Wayne refused, the scammer published the photo.
Yes, Mac’s contacts saw the photo. It was rough for him. Yet, he got through it. He appeared to be back to his old self and went off to bed one night telling his dad he was excited to put on his L-plates in the morning.
By the next morning Mac was dead. And Wayne’s entire world fell apart.
The next few weeks were a blur. Heartache and pain. The grief, shock, helplessness and self-blame knocked Wayne over physically and mentally. Sitting in Mac’s room one day, Wayne saw something out of the corner of his eye. It was a note. It said:
Dear Dad,
Things haven’t been the same for me since that photo. I’m really embarrassed. I’ve let you down.
I am so sorry.
Love, Mac
Wayne thought everything was alright. Indeed, Mac kept on telling him everything was alright. But Mac wasn’t alright.
Mac had been through a difficult time. On top of the sextortion, Mac had also lost his mum to cardiac arrest. Something that, with hindsight, had compounded Mac’s feelings of isolation. In fact, Mac died 100 days to the day after the loss of his mum.
So, where to from here?
Wayne has used the tragic loss of his beloved son as a catalyst to educate people to simply be a better listener.
“The research clearly confirms that learned listening techniques make a world of difference,” said Wayne.
“And while I regularly asked Mac if he was ok, he was not ok. If I had the knowledge and skills that I have now, to really listen, the outcome may have been different”.
“Smacktalk” runs 40-minute sessions, free of charge, to reduce the epidemic and silent killer that is suicide in our community.
But that is just the start. Wayne is on a mission.
And while I regularly asked Mac if he was ok, he was not ok
Recently Wayne headed to Canberra to meet with politicians as part of a group called “Let Them Be Kids”.
The campaign is pushing home the harms of social media on youth and lobbying for substantial change.
“The politicians we met realise it is a huge problem,” said Wayne.
“There was lived experience in the room of what harms social media can have on the young. And we are pushing back against these huge companies that use algorithms to specifically target our youth with harmful content.”
The group are part of a wider push to limit access to social media for those under 16.
“The select committee we met with will be preparing a report for parliament which they will present in a few months’ time. We are pushing for change to protect kids from the terrible dangers that lurk for them on social media and the internet”.
Back home, Wayne is taking every opportunity to spread the word to make the world a safer place for our kids to be in.
“I miss my son. My purpose now is to create a legacy in his honour”.
Lifeline 13 11 14
