Good Shepherd

Winter

My efforts are failing me, my friendships are not what I imagined and hoped they would be, and my worth is crumbling away. Am I good enough? Am I interesting or fun enough for Penn? Am I meant to live this life with these people, or is it better to leave it all behind? I am doubting You. I am doubting myself. Not only are my doubts fueling my avoidance of others but also of You as my faith in Your goodness and love slips away. You say You love me, but why do I feel so worthless? You say You will never leave me, but why do I feel so isolated and lonely? My mind and heart toss in this all-consuming, tumultuous sea of doubt—I am drowning. I am starting to believe that nobody will see me or want me or remember me, not even You. I feel so far from You. Where are You? I am calling out to You! Can You hear me?

*sigh*

I knew that by listening to the world, I would block You out of my life, the life that had once treasured You so deeply. The whirlwind of lies and shame and emptiness that’ s being housed within my soul is tearing it apart brick by brick.

In the midst of the chaos, a brief light shone the other day: a friend encouraged me to talk to You again, whether it be about how I felt or how my day went, simply about anything. But how can I act as if You are my closest friend and tell You about my life so casually when I know I rejected, blamed, and even hated You? I cannot fathom being in a relationship with You again, let alone being in conversation with You.

Hopeless. That’ s all I am. That’ s all I feel. That’ s all I know.

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me. "

— Isaiah 49:15–16

For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother ' s womb. — Psalm 139:13

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion, " says my soul, "therefore I will hope in Him. ” — Lamentations 3:22–24 Spring

I tried it out, though. Talking to You. Do You remember that day? When I spun around in my plastic spinny chair and yearned to simply tell You all that had happened in my life, how I felt about You and all the baggage I was carrying? Or that bright spring day I walked in the alley along Spruce telling You about my day? Or that hour when I sat in my chair in my open room and wrote out all the dark thoughts in my head, angry and heated toward You and myself? Or that moment when I lay in bed muffling my cries to not wake my neighbors while sending a million thoughts to You about my troubles and heartache and pleas for forgiveness?

God, You were watching over me, and You never ever forgot me. You were the one who sang over me in my sleep, who fed me and dressed me, who sent loving friends my way. Even when I had rejected and hurt You so deeply, Your loving presence never left me. You never changed; I did.

The Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. — James 1:17

All the while, You pulled me closer when I pushed You away, and You gave me those trials in order to grow my faith not on emotions and pride and circumstance, but on the one true foundation that is Jesus. To simply think about and know that You sent Your beloved Son down to earth, to have Jesus become like us humans in the flesh, and for Him to live the perfect life while facing all the same temptations we struggle with, to be mocked and put to shame by those whom He was there to save, and to be rejected by His perfect Father—it is breathtakingly, heart-wrenchingly, unbelievably beautiful. God, You did all this so that we, Your enemies, might be reconciled to Your unconditional, perfect love, that You would have glory through it all. You swear by Yourself because there is no higher authority (Hebrews 6:13) and therefore You cannot deny Yourself (2 Timothy 2:13), and I find comfort knowing I can fully—with my heart, mind, and soul—trust in Your promises, in who You are and what You say You will do.

The Good Shepherd

LUKE BABER

The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. — Psalm 23:1–3

B

aaa!!! The bleating of humanity springs forth from the gullets of sheeple in distress, crying out for their Shepherd. Aimless sheep in need of a shepherd is common in both the Old and New Testaments. In the former, God acts as Shepherd over Israel; in the latter, Christ serves as the Good Shepherd for all people.

In Jesus

’ time, certain professions were considered lowly, shepherds being one of them. I mean, think about it: you have to go and live with smelly, foul, stupid sheep for a majority of the year with meager pay and without any societal influence. It sounds like an awful job, and yet it requires a deep level of commitment to continue it for multiple years.

If it interests you, look up “ sheep jumps into ditch” on YouTube and you

’ll find a somewhat humorous sheep that gets saved from being stuck in a ditch, galumphing around in freedom, only to jump right back into the ditch it had just escaped. I bring this up to point out that sheep are stupid creatures. When sheep graze, they mostly look toward the ground, unaware of their surroundings to the point that they will often find themselves on the edges of cliffs or other precarious places without their intent.

We are sheep. And we are stupid. We often relapse into our own sin and toxic habits even after being shown the way. We push ourselves to the limit of what we can handle without relying on God to guide us to greener, safer pastures. We are naive, unintelligent creatures in desperate need of guidance and protection—despite how smart our Ivy League degrees might say we are.

This isn

’t something new; people have been in need of shepherds since creation. Abel was a shepherd who offered the best of his herd to God as a sacrifice (Genesis 4:4). Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob were all shepherds (Genesis 21:27, 26:14, 29:10). Joseph tended his father ’ s flock with his brothers before being called to “ shepherd” the Egyptian people (Genesis 37:2). Moses was a shepherd before he led God’ s “flock” out of Egypt (Exodus 2:17), later calling out for a new shepherd of men, Joshua (Numbers 27:17). Even King David himself was once a lowly shepherd working in the field before Samuel came to crown him (1 Samuel 16:11). These early examples of shepherds serve as harbingers for what is to be fulfilled in the example of Jesus as the ultimate Shepherd for His people. It is also worth noting that God the Father is mentioned as the Shepherd of His people, protecting and guiding them through the ages. His rod and staff are a representation of His discipline and His guidance, respectively. He leads us, His sheep, into green pastures and quiet waters to attend to our needs, comfort us, and refresh our souls (Psalm 23).

Before we move on to how Jesus fulfills the role of the Good Shepherd, we should first explore the aspects and responsibilities that are inherent in the relationship between a shepherd and his sheep. Shepherds are knowledgeable, brave, gentle, and loving leaders of ignorant, reliant, clumsy sheep. Shepherds (at least good ones) are responsible for protecting their flock from external threats, caring for their needs, and ensuring that sheep do not get separated from the flock. Under the shepherd’ s care, the sheep are responsible for surviving and growing, producing wool, sustenance, and more sheep. A good shepherd guides and protects every sheep in the herd because they all have value. As demonstrated in the parable of the lost sheep, a good shepherd leaves the entire flock to go searching after the sheep that has gone astray, since all of the shepherd’ s sheep have great value to him (Matthew 18:10–14).