her perspective Patience is a virtue, but ain’t nobody got time for that

A friend just returned from a trip to LA and said to me, “People in LA are wound tight.”

He went on to tell me about how he was dining with friends at an outdoor café near a roundabout. The weather was nice, so windows were open. He couldn’t enjoy his lunch because all the LA drivers were constantly screaming obscenities at any driver who slowed down or hesitated in the roundabout.

I recently visited the lovely city of Boston. We rented a car and I learned firsthand the meaning of the word Masshole. Added to the Oxford Dictionary in 2015, it is defined as a term of contempt for a native or inhabitant of the state of Massachusetts.

Here are a couple of quotes from self-proclaimed Massholes: “My middle finger is my third blinker,” and “I drive like I own the friggin’ place, you got a problem with that?”

When we were stopped at a red light (with a no right turn on red sign) at a very busy intersection, I was shocked when the driver behind us honked repeatedly then jumped the curb, speeding by us on the sidewalk running over some nice bushes and barely clearing a fire hydrant. I swear I think we were the only people who actually stopped at red lights. Massholes must be colorblind.

Road rage is one thing, but grocery line rage is another. Once upon a time I was holding my toddler in the checkout line at Target. Back then, you had to electronically sign the credit card receipt. My 2-year-old said, “I wannadoit.” She was overdue for a nap, so I thought I’d let her scribble my name instead of fight about it. Big mistake – she would not let go of the electronic pen. I was holding her in my right arm and fighting for the pen with my left hand. I didn’t win. She ripped the entire apparatus apart saying, “I wannit.”

What I remember most about this unfortunate incident is the guy behind us in line. I could feel his rage – his eyes were like daggers and the words he was shouting at us were not appropriate for a 2-year-old. I was embarrassed and apologetic but also frightened.

I asked the cashier what to do and she said I should just go, she would handle it. I was so thankful for her patience and understanding. To this day, I have a soft spot for any parent struggling with a toddler and always let them ahead of me. Nobody needs an angry, unhinged person behind them in line.

The other day I was shopping at Sam’s Club and it was unusually crowded. The parking lot was packed (walking is good for you, right?), the aisles were traffic-jammed with carts and the checkout lines were a mile long. It took me two-and-a-half hours to buy 10 items. Back in the day, when I worked full-time or when I had four kids in four different schools, I would have walked out. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

But something strange has come over me. Maybe it’s living in a slow, sugar-coated small town for all these years. Maybe it’s age and life experience – realizing my time isn’t any more precious than the human at the traffic light or in the grocery line ahead of me. Maybe it’s ADHD. Whatever it is, I’m thankful to have acquired some patience. I could have shaved 20 minutes off my time at Sam’s, but I let two people who looked upset and desperate ahead of me. I daydreamed, read a blog and deleted emails during my hour in line. Everyone around me seemed so angry and agitated but I stayed in my little happy bubble. Life’s what you make it. Why make it miserable?

March 30, 2023

9 a.m. - 4 p.m.

In-person: UWF Conference Center, Pensacola, Florida

Virtual: uwf.edu/wilc

Cost: $125 for in-person and $70 for virtual

The annual University of West Florida Women in Leadership Conference educates the next generation of business leaders destined to positively impact the state of Florida! This conference resonates with well-established career women and those just beginning their careers. Remarkably successful women will share their stories through inspiring speeches and panels dedicated to both personal inspiration and practical application.

Don’t Miss Out! Register at uwf.edu/wilc.