This Is Your Road Map
Like all good maps, it will help you get from point A to point B while alerting you to highlights along the way. Since it is your map, you can write on it, highlight it, and dog-ear the pages you want to come back to again. Your map can help you get to where you are going, so let’s get started!
Road Map to Resilience was written by Connie Horton; the Tips for the Road were contributed by La Shonda Coleman, both members of the RISE staff who based their work on current literature in the field. For further reading they suggest: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by E. J. Bourne, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by C. S. Dweck, Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity by R. A. Emmons, The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play by N. A. Fiore, Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by J. J. Ratey, as well as online resources such as the Trauma Resource Institute: traumaresourceinstitute.com and Breathe for Change: breatheforchange.com
We would like to thank the entire RISE team, including Jackie Nat, Stacey Lee Gobir, Sergio Gallardo Palma, Emily Shaw, and Jade de Bruyn for their editorial suggestions.
Where Are We Going?
You are invited on a journey to develop resilience skills!
What Is Resilience?
Life can be hard! Losses, disappointments, and stressors (big and small) are inevitable.
Resilience is the capacity to make it through expected and unexpected adversities. In the process of navigating such adversities, we may be stretched, changed, and develop new skills to enhance our lives.
Resilience is different from toxic positivity. It doesn’t suggest we suppress negative feelings and pretend everything is always OK. Resilience does not ignore the challenges of life. Resilience skills help us navigate those challenges!
This Is Your Journey
We offer this road map to help you navigate your journey well.
The Six Dimensions of RISE Resilience
Physical
» Engage in movement
» Prioritize sleep
» Practice healthy eating
Social
» Build intentional relationships
» Enhance social skills
» Develop empathy
Cognitive
» Expect challenges
» Adopt a growth mindset
» Change irrational/unhelpful thoughts
Spiritual
» Adopt a faith perspective
» Engage in spiritual practices
» Join a faith community
Life Skills
» Take charge of your finances
» Manage your time
» Be discerning about your technology usage
Service
» Consider your values
» Serve in large ways
» Serve in small ways
Let the Journey Begin
Self Check: What’s my capacity before I set out on this journey?
traumatic/stressful event or reminder
HIGH ZONE
Edginess, Irritability, Mania, Pain, Anxiety, Angry Outbursts
RESILIENCE ZONE
LOW ZONE Depression, Sadness, Isolation, Fatigue, Numbness
You must check your capacity prior to setting out on a journey, whether it is a journey for a day, a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime.
This is imperative because we each have a resilience zone or capacity in which we are able to move through the ebb and flow of our days. Sometimes we encounter challenges that push us beyond the boundaries of our resilience zone (where we are OK and can bounce back and stay within healthy ups and downs of emotions). When this happens, it becomes harder to make decisions, sleep well, eat well, maintain healthy relationships, and engage our faith and life skills. Your capacity is fluid and can change from the moment before an activating event, during, and after.
To support the balance and depth of our individual resilience zones or “OK zones,” and to equip ourselves to move through life with greater capacity, the RISE program has identified six dimensions of resilience and their related building blocks to help establish resilience skills. These skills will help you expand your OK zone and return to it when needed.
Physical
Being Good Stewards
In Christian thinking, stewardship is viewed as the responsibility to take good care of the gifts we have been given. One gift is our bodies. How we treat our bodies matters! When we take care of our bodies, we are more resilient, more ready to study and develop our talents, more able to serve, and more able to enjoy the life and the blessings God gives us. Taking care of our bodies is a way of honoring God and of helping ensure that we have greater capacity to manage life’s ups and downs.
Attending to your physical well-being will enhance your resilience.
Engage in Movement
Exercise is a great stress reliever and a wonderful way to build resilience. It can help you release tension, provide a needed distraction from your concerns, and help your body reduce stress hormones and produce hormones that create positive feelings. What’s the best exercise? The one you enjoy—simply because you will do it!
Talk Yourself into It
Avoid all-or-nothing thinking, which can sabotage your physical fitness. Even if you don’t have time or energy to do a full workout, you don’t need to be sedentary that day. Do something short, like taking a quick walk. A little exercise is better than no exercise. And if you did nothing today, tomorrow is still waiting for you.
A mind-over-mood attitude can help. You might not feel like exercising when you’re not in a great mood— but that is actually a perfect time. Remind yourself that you will actually feel better after you engage in some movement. After you’ve pushed your way through the exercise, ask yourself if your mood has improved.
Pepperdine Campus Recreation
Campus Recreation is a great resource! Scan the QR code to visit the Campus Recreation website and learn more about the many exercise opportunities they offer.
Popular Exercises
Dancing
Fitness Classes
Gentle or Assisted
Stretching
Hiking
Leg and Arm Lifts
Playing Sports
Running
Shoulder Rolls
Strength Building
Swimming
Walking
Yoga
See the Tips for the Road at the end of this book for details. TIPs
Cool Down and Hydrate
No matter what you’re experiencing at any given moment, it’s never a bad idea to hydrate!
Prioritize Sleep
A college student needs eight to nine hours of sleep each night. Unfortunately many students don’t get that much. Sleep deprivation is common and can have serious negative consequences.
No Time to Sleep?
When you think “I don’t have time to sleep,” ask yourself:
Do I have time to get sick?
Your immune system is compromised when you are sleep deprived.
Do I have time for drama?
We all get upset more easily when we’re tired. Little problems appear huge and minor annoyances can turn into major conflicts.
Do I have time to waste on ineffective study?
Lack of sleep can impair both concentration and memory.
Can’t Fall Asleep?
If you have trouble falling asleep at night, try one or more of the following practices:
» Avoid eating heavy foods right before bed.
» Build in some “wind down” time and routines before going to bed.
» Limit your caffeine intake during the day and especially toward bedtime.
» Take deep relaxing breaths or just notice your breathing.
» Listen to calming music or a meditation app.
If you’re unable to fall asleep after trying for 30 minutes, don’t “fight it.” Get up and do something relaxing.
A tired student is like a tired driver. They have delayed reactions and struggle with paying attention and recalling information.
If you frequently have trouble sleeping because you cannot shut off your mind at night or are feeling anxious, make an appointment with a counselor at the Counseling Center. The staff is ready to support you. Scan the QR to learn more.
Practice Healthy Eating
Good nutrition is important to your resilience. You probably know the basics, but if you are struggling to be resilient, ask yourself about your typical nutrition practices:
Are you staying hydrated?
» Keep a water bottle with you.
Do you listen to your body and eat when your body needs energy?
Are you mindful of and gravitate toward eating foods that fuel you and give you energy?
» Try to notice when certain foods only give you short-term bursts of energy and cause you to crash later. Then moderate your consumption.
Are you eating a balanced diet (protein, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, etc.), each day?
Are you limiting your caffeine and alcohol?
» Too much caffeine or alcohol can contribute to poor moods and anxious or depressed feelings.
Your Physical Resilience Journey
Track your practices for one week to get a good sense of your journey.
Social
Being in Relationship with One Another
God is a relational God (Father, Son, Spirit). Christians believe that we, created in God’s image, are created for relationships. The Bible has more than 50 verses that speak to “one another.” Scripture calls us to love one another, encourage one another, and comfort one another. When we value relationships, we are more likely to be resilient, more likely to thrive.
Having social support is key to resilience!
Build Intentional Relationships
Social Support Check-In!
Do you have social support? Who are your friends?
Social • Do you have friends to hang out with or do fun activities with?
Practical • Do you have people in your life who would help you if you needed something, like a ride to the doctor?
Emotional • Do you have people in your life who know how you’re doing? Do they know what you’re excited about or afraid of?
Spiritual • Do you have friends who pray for you and for whom you pray? Are you comfortable discussing spiritual questions or providing encouragement to each other?
TIPs ROAD FOR THE
Resourcing
Bringing to mind people and things that give you a sense of peace—your resources—is a simple way to further feelings of well-being. See the Tips for the Road at the end of this book for details.
Your Answers Matter
If you answered no to any of these questions, you may want to consider making friendship development a personal priority. Why? Because relationships help you to be more resilient.
The American Psychological Association calls “caring and supportive relationships” the primary factor in resilience. The Harvard Grant study tracked a number of physical and mental health outcomes. After several decades, the study found that “the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships with other people.”
You might agree that building relationships is important but not make an effort to do so. You might think:
» I’m too busy; I have classes, work, activities. I just don’t have time.
» I don’t want to be vulnerable. I’m afraid I might be embarrassed or hurt.
» I’m shy, awkward, or just don’t really know how to make real friendships.
But relationships are worth prioritizing! As author Anne Lamott says, “Nobody in isolation becomes who they were designed to be.”
Intentional Relationship First Steps
Join a Club
Clubs are a great way to meet others with a shared interest. You can discover club activities and events through Peppervine, the campus engagement platform. At club get-togethers, use the tips listed in the next building block.
Meet Up with an Affinity Group
Affinity groups offer a community in which to explore your own and others’ various identities. Pepperdine’s Intercultural Affairs office provides a home for a host of identity-based student groups. Get involved!
Enhance Social Skills
Making Friends
Making friends is a skill you can learn. Here are some tips:
Be friendly
Simply looking up, smiling, and saying hello can be a good start in inviting connections.
Get the conversation started
Make statements that invite others to chat by asking open-ended questions:
» “Tell me about your hometown.”
» “What was your high school like?”
» “How was your first week at Pepperdine?”
Listen well
» Instead of thinking about what you are going to say next, really listen to what the other person is saying.
» Show you are paying attention by looking at the other person instead of your phone.
Make time for people
» Friendships most often form as people spend time together repeatedly.
» Say yes when other students invite you to eat, play a game, or watch a movie.
» Initiate an activity and ask others to join you.
Care about your community
» Watch out for one another.
» Check in on people who seem lonely, discouraged, or sick.
» Refer friends to resources on campus such as the Student Care Team or Waves Food Cabinets.
Address Interpersonal Issues
When you feel you need to clear up an issue with someone, do it early and directly. A framework and example that will help you are provided below:
Framework:
“I feel when you . I would like for you to .“
Example:
I feel frustrated when I hear your alarm go off repeatedly in the morning. I would like to get more sleep and would be grateful if you’d set the alarm for a little later and get up when it goes off.
Alleviate Social Anxiety
Lots of people get nervous in social situations. The good news is that you can get help to resolve or greatly reduce these feelings. Contact the Counseling Center and tell a staff member that you want to learn ways to be more relaxed in social settings so they can help you. Visit the Counseling Center website to learn more.
Talk to an Expert
Want to talk more about how to develop friendships or troubleshoot challenges? Talk to a Relationship IQ Intern!
Develop Empathy
Last but not least, empathy is essential to healthy relationships.
What Is Empathy?
Empathy is not feeling sorry for someone, that’s sympathy. Empathy is understanding another’s perspective, stories, and struggles.
Being Empathetic
Focus on others. You can’t be self-absorbed and be a good friend.
Be curious.
Try to understand another’s point of view, life experiences, and feelings.
Listen well.
While suspending judgment, try to see how and why the other person thinks the way they think.
Cognitive
Renewing Our Minds
Many biblical characters went through challenging times. They were resilient and honored God partly because of their mindsets. When we follow their examples and the biblical encouragement to “set our minds on things above” (Colossians 3:2), we allow ourselves to be changed by the “renewing of our minds” (Romans 12:2). When we intentionally think on “whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy” (Philippians 4:8), we are more resilient.
Our thoughts make a huge difference in our ability to be resilient.
Some people expect life to be like this
Expect Challenges
Life has ups and downs, obstacles, valleys, and storms. The weird thing is that once you accept that reality, it’s not so bad. Maybe you can even think of life as an adventure!
The truth is that it is much more like this
TIPs
ROAD FOR THE
Handheld Affirmations
An easy technique to assist you in centering your mind is a handheld affirmation. You can do this practice anywhere!
See the Tips for the Road at the end of this book for details.
The Serenity Prayer
The Serenity Prayer helps us consider what is and isn’t within our control. Focusing too much on what is beyond our control can be a waste of mental energy.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Adopt a Growth Mindset
A growth mindset is the opposite of a fixed mindset.
The Fixed Mindset Perspective
A fixed mindset says, “What I am is permanent and unchanging.”
When faced with a challenge, a person with a fixed mindset says things like:
“I’m not good at math.”
“Art isn’t my thing.”
“I have a hot temper.”
“I’m not a person who exercises.”
“I suck at writing.”
“I can’t speak up in class.”
“I don’t tell other people what I’m really thinking or feeling.”
The Growth Mindset Perspective
A growth mindset says, “Something might be new and challenging, but I can work at it and learn.”
When faced with a challenge, a person with a growth mindset says things like:
“I’ll need to work extra hard in math class. I’m going to attend office hours and maybe get a tutor.”
“I’m interested to learn more about art.”
“I’m learning to manage my anger through the help of a counselor.”
“I’m open to hearing about strategies I can use to develop exercise habits.”
“I’ll work on my writing at the Student Success Center.”
“Today, I’ll challenge myself to make at least one comment in class.”
“I understand sharing my perspective helps build relationships. I’ll learn by watching others.”
A Growth Mindset Makes Challenges Less Stressful
In life, some challenges are chosen; others are not. Adversities beyond one’s control can vary by group and individual circumstances. When navigating great adversities, being resilient involves taking advantage of resources.
Whether facing chosen challenges or adversities that you didn’t choose, a growth mindset can help you be more resilient, as challenges in life are viewed as opportunities to learn. In contrast, a fixed mindset can contribute to giving up easily and can interfere with developing resilience.
Change Irrational/Unhelpful Thoughts
Irrational and unhelpful thoughts often cloud our brains, and correcting them helps us be more resilient.
Irrational Thought Rational Thought
Perfectionism
I must: be perfect • get an A+ • be the best
High Standards
I want to do well, fully develop my talents, and all I can do is the best I can do.
Future Forecasting
What if this happens? Then that might happen and that might happen and that would be horrible.
Wait to Worry
Take things one step at a time. Do what you need to do at the time. Planning is OK, but “borrowing trouble” by worrying about what might happen is not helpful.
Catastrophizing
When things don’t go as hoped—it’s a disaster! My life is ruined!
Keeping Things in Perspective
When things don’t go as hoped, it might be unfortunate, inconvenient, or disappointing, but it is rarely a true disaster. This too shall pass.
Damaged Goods
Something bad happened to me. I’m ruined.
Posttraumatic Growth
Bad things are hard, but they don’t make me bad. I can even grow as I make my way through them.
People Pleasing
I must please everyone and keep everyone happy.
Pleasing Everyone Is Impossible
I want to be a kind person, but most importantly, I have to do what I believe is right, what pleases God. There is no way to please everyone.
“. . . whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Philippians 4:8
Mind Reading
I know what they’re thinking, especially if it is negative about me.
I Cannot Read Minds
I don’t know what other people are thinking, and it’s typically not helpful to think about it.
My Performance = My Value
I have to prove my worth. I have to get good grades and make good money to make myself a person of value.
I Matter
I matter, as a child of God and a human being. I am a person of value regardless of my performance.
Impostor Syndrome
I don’t deserve to be here and will be found out.
I Belong
I was admitted. I was accepted. I was chosen. I am here on purpose.
All My Thoughts Are True
If I think it, it must be true.
Thoughts Are Just Thoughts
Thoughts come and go. Rather than automatically believing my negative thoughts, I can say to myself: “I’m having the thought that . . . “
My Thoughts Are Uncontrollable
I am a victim of what comes into my head.
Thought Directing
I can choose which thoughts to dwell on, being intentional about where I put my thoughts. I can decide what I put my energy into.
Spiritual
Embodying a “God Is with Me and for Me” Perspective
In one biblical story (Luke 10:38-42), two sisters made different decisions in response to a visit from Jesus. Martha was distracted with preparations while Mary chose to sit at the feet of Jesus. Being still and present with God and other spiritual practices (e.g., prayer, gratitude) build our capacity for resilience. While it appears that Martha’s intentions were to please God, she missed the invitation to be with God. Mary’s decision to sit at the feet of Jesus illustrates taking a spiritual perspective (e.g., valuing the mindful awareness of God with us), engaging in spiritual practice (listening to the Word of God), and being in a community of faith. If we follow this example, our resilience is enhanced.
There are a number of ways in which seeing life through a lens of faith helps a person be resilient.
Adopt a Faith Perspective
God Is with You
Those with a faith perspective believe that God is with them and that God cares about their well-being no matter the challenge, mistake, or crisis.
This conviction is important in hard times—believing that God is with you, for you, and on your side as your Shepherd. Being aware of God may help decrease loneliness as there is a recognition that with a Divine Companion, you really are never alone and God can be your Hiding Place. A faith perspective provides meaning, purpose, and connectedness. Further, believing God provides what you need each day, just as he provided manna for the Israelites, provides comfort.
Eternal Time Frame
Keep stressors in perspective.
If you recognize a particular exam is just one exam in one semester of one year of your life in all of eternity, you still may want to do your best, but it may no longer seem like such a matter of “life and death.” Putting things in the perspective of their long-term significance decreases anxiety.
Gratitude
A spiritual perspective acknowledges that life is filled with gifts from God—or blessings.
Making time for gratitude and reflections of thanks matters. Positive psychology confirms that paying attention to and being grateful for blessings can improve mood, physical health, and relationships.
Engage in Spiritual Practices
Spiritual practices can help you feel closer to God, grow in your faith, and calm your soul. Thus, spiritual practices can strengthen your resilience.
Recommended Practices
Praying
Communicating with God
Praying can take a variety of forms, such as simple prayers, the Lord’s Prayer, breath prayers, and Lectio Devina written prayers.
Resting Being with God
Periods of being still, and experiencing solitude, silence, and sabbath are all important.
TIPs ROAD FOR THE
Mindful Belly Breaths
Gathering Refreshing Ourselves in God
Worship, giving and receiving hospitality, and enjoying faith communities can be refreshing.
Discerning Listening for God
Reading the Bible, meditation, quiet, prayer, and seeking wise counsel and mentors help you find your way.
Taking mindful belly breaths is a way to help ease feelings of anxiety or ungroundedness.
See the Tips for the Road at the end of this book for details.
Join a Faith Community
The Bible is a grand story of God gathering people into community to do good work in the world together. It is in God’s nature to gather and grow us to be resilient people. A few ways being part of a faith community helps nurture resilience follow.
We Are Not Alone
Communities of faith aspire to serve as a system of support to one another through all of life’s seasons—the happy ones and the hard ones, the certain ones and the uncertain ones.
We Do Life Together
Communities of faith provide rhythms and practices that draw us near to God and to one another.
We Belong in Community
The Bible reminds us that humanity was created in the image of God. Together, with all of our diversity, we reflect God’s image, and the more we join together, the more we are able to see and experience God in and through the flourishing of one another.
We Serve in Community
People of faith are invited to exercise their collective agency and talents to join God’s work of reconciliation, justice, and building hope in local communities and around the world.
The Hub for Spiritual Life engages the Pepperdine community through worship and spiritual care. Scan the QR code to learn more or volunteer your time and talents.
Life Skills
Be Careful How You Live
Scripture tells us to “be careful how you live,” to “not be unwise but wise” (Ephesians 5:15). Specific passages call us to make the best use of our time or be good stewards of financial resources. Proverbs tells us to “guard our hearts, for they are the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23). We will be more resilient when we are good stewards of financial resources, make good use of our time, and guard our hearts—including from anything unhealthy coming from social media.
Life skills are habits or practices that help to prevent unnecessary stressors by managing resources and minimizing obstacles to well-being.
Life Skills Smooth Your Path
Remember how we talked about how life can be hard?
Don’t make it harder!
People without the life skills discussed here experience more stress and unnecessary obstacles and roadblocks on life’s journey than those with strong life skills.
Mindfulness and Intentionality
Two concepts that may be helpful in successful life skill implementation are mindfulness and intentionality.
Mindfulness
If you are mindful, you check in with yourself about how you are feeling and how things are going so you can change course if you accidently misuse money, time, and technology.
Intentionality
If you are intentional, you do things on purpose, not just “going with the flow,” but deciding how you intend to use money, time, and technology.
Take Charge of Your Finances
Reasons to Manage Your Money Well
Managing your finances is important because:
Debt can be a huge source of stress in a person’s life.
Debt, or other financial challenges, can prevent you from taking advantage of opportunities you would value and enjoy.
Financial issues are often cited as a key reason for relationship problems, including divorce.
Strategies for Succesful Money Management
Feel free to use all of the following tips.
» Face Reality
Don’t live in denial! Have an accurate awareness of your debt, savings, and expenses.
» Make a Budget and Follow It
Decide how much you plan to spend on school, eating out, clothes, gas, etc. Create a system to monitor plans vs. reality. Your budget can organize your financial plans on a weekly or monthly basis.
» Borrow
Only What You Need
It may not seem like a big deal to take a little extra out each semester on student loans or buy a nice car that you really want. But then when you graduate, you might be surprised and overwhelmed by the total debt that you owe and the monthly payments you face.
» Seek Financial Counsel
Find a wise mentor; talk to business professors; look for workshops for more detailed finance management education, including some offerings from RISE. Additional individual advice sessions can also be helpful. Many people who learn to manage their finances late in life wish they had figured things out earlier. Be open to learning now.
Manage Your Time
Reasons to Manage Your Time Well
Some have referred to time as “the great equalizer” because everyone gets 24 hours in a day. The question is: “How do you spend them?”
Those who don’t manage their time well find that they:
“Don’t have time” for important habits like regular exercise or getting enough sleep!
Procrastinate, adding unnecessary stress around “crunch times.”
Miss due dates, which causes academic penalties/ grade reductions, late fees, etc.
Don’t reach big goals and don’t fulfill their dreams.
Feel a sense of guilt or frustration.
Strategies for Successful Time Management
Use the time management tool or approach that works best for you.
» Plan for a Balanced Life
List or schedule not only the tasks, but also the important aspects of life (like exercise, sleep, spiritual practices, or social time).
» Set Your Own Step-By-Step Due Dates
For example, if you have a big research paper due November 2, consider adding goals you would like to meet along the way—dates for choosing a topic, securing articles, writing an outline, and completing a first draft.
» Be Realistic
Don’t schedule six consecutive hours of reading if you’re not likely to succeed at that. Instead, try reading for one or two consecutive hours. You can also return to reading for additional time as needed. Avoid the temptation to underestimate how long tasks will take.
» Review
Every so often stop and consider how it’s going.
Boldy take action
Procrastination creates unnecessary stress. If procrastination is a problem for you, we recommend these remedies.
» Work in Smaller Amounts of Time Plan to work in short blocks of time, and you may find yourself less avoidant and more successful!
» Do Something!
Even if you don’t feel up to writing an extensive portion of a research paper, there’s probably something you could do. Prepare the cover page, list references, or find more articles.
» Notice And Address Your Anxiety
Anxiety leads to avoidance! Are you overly worried about something? Use some of your other resilience skills discussed earlier—go for a run, challenge your perfectionist thinking, process your feelings with a friend, or take a moment to pray or meditate. Still struggling with anxiety? Schedule some sessions with the Counseling Center.
To Do:
Be Discerning About Your Technology Usage
Reasons to Be Discerning About Technology Usage
Technology and social media have many positive uses in our lives, but research shows that their use can:
Overwhelm us cognitively and emotionally.
Cause increased feelings of anxiety and depression.
Lead to a decreased self-confidence.
Strategies for Successful Technology Use
The key to using technology effectively is to be thoughtful and use good judgment in your life.
» Use Discernment with Social Media
Don’t let it replace face-to-face contact with real friends and don’t compare yourself with others.
» Avoid Losing Sleep to Your Screen
Allow yourself to turn off your phone when you go to bed. It is helpful to be away from your screen for a period of time before you plan to sleep.
» Unplug!
Turn off your notifications, put your phone away when spending time with friends, or even take a weekend off.
» Avoid Multitasking
Do your homework, or watch a show, or engage on social media. Multitasking is stressful and slows you down.
TIPs ROAD FOR THE Mindful Steps
Taking mindful steps is a way to both get some exercise and ease stress or feelings of anxiety.
See the Tips for the Road at the end of this book for details.
Jesus, the Ultimate Example
Those who follow Jesus are encouraged to “wash the feet of others” (John 13:1-17), care for “the least of these” (Matthew 25:40), and “love their neighbor as themselves” (Mark 12:31), as he did.
The time and energy you devote to others’ well-being have a positive effect on your own well-being.
Service Helps Build Resilience
At first glance, the statement above might seem surprising; after all, if you are already stressed and overwhelmed, why would you add one more thing to your plate? While we must not forget that service is certainly not focused on us, but on others, we should also keep in mind that engaging in service has some real, practical benefits to our resilience.
Community
Service is often done in community. Whether you’re involved in Jumpstart teaching preschool kids or on a service trip to the rainforests of Costa Rica—you are part of a team! Training with others, traveling together to get to the site, and even the time serving provide opportunities to get to know your teammates, to talk, to laugh, to build friendships. And remember— friendships are key to resilience.
Perspective
Service gives perspective and gets the focus off of yourself. We all have problems. While it is healthy to recognize and address our problems, it is also wise to keep them in perspective. For example, the stresses of midterms are real, and they are also less challenging to one’s well-being than lacking access to food. Spending time in service to others, intentionally focusing on others and learning about their communities, can help you find the right balance.
Purpose
Service gives a sense of purpose or meaning. Whether you are teaching a child, building a home, digging a well, serving a meal, or visiting people who are sick, lonely, or afraid—you are contributing, learning new skills, and learning about others. And you know what? Those experiences create a sense of meaning!
Consider Your Values
Once again, service is not focused on us, but on others. However, as you seek to serve to the best of your ability, your answers to the following personal questions might be helpful.
What Do You Care Deeply About?
Is there a cause that resonates with you?
Is there a particular community you care for?
What sort of work is meaningful to you?
What Are Your Gifts and Talents?
What gifts or talents have you recognized within yourself?
What gifts or talents have others recognized in you?
Is there a particular gift or talent you would like to focus on or nurture?
How Can You Use Your Gifts to Serve Others?
Have you used your gifts as service in the past?
How can your gifts and talents help enrich other people’s lives?
What Do You Feel Called to Do?
As we think about service, we might think of purpose and calling. Author and theologian Frederick Buechner describes calling the following way: “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”
We can (and should) go out and serve wherever there is a need, but the more we are able to connect our sense of calling with service, the easier it is to lead a life of service—as opposed to making service just one element of our lives.
We encourage you to consider your answers to the questions listed above and to confidently go out and make the world a little better!
Serve in Large Ways
When we talk about serving in large ways, we think about service that might take considerable planning or feature a large scope. This can include significant one-time experiences, such as a mission or service trip, or ongoing service that takes lots of hours, such as working for a nonprofit for a year—all of which are great ways to help others and to contribute interpersonally, locally, and globally.
Community Engagement and Service Opportunities
The Hub for Spiritual Life
The Hub for Spiritual Life partners with nonprofit organizations to coordinate ongoing service opportunities. Join with others to engage with and serve our community.
The Student Employment Office
The Student Employment Office offers community service jobs as part of the Federal Work-Study plan. These jobs include working at Jumpstart, Boys & Girls Club of Malibu, the Emily Shane Foundation, and others. Check out the opportunities.
Church Opportunities
Pay attention at church for opportunities to serve within the church family (e.g., teach Sunday School, visit elderly members, help with a building project), or to help members with local community or long-distance mission trips.
Serve in Small Ways
When we talk about serving in small ways, we think about acts of kindness and helpfulness that we can practice every day, such as being there for a friend in need, opening the door for someone, covering a shift for a coworker, giving someone a ride, or showing kindness to a stranger. Small acts of service can change the world, and as we practice them daily, we are formed into people who are making a difference!
Opportunities at Your Front Door
TIPs ROAD FOR THE
Don’t miss the opportunities right in front of you! Sometimes students will travel the globe to serve but don’t see or think about the needs right in front of them. Notice or talk to students who seem lonely or in need of a friend. Send a card to a classmate or colleague who has had a loss in their family. Share meal points. Tutor a friend. Help carry a load. Remember—we all need social support. Little acts of service make a big difference. See the Tips for the Road at the end of this book for details.
Pause, Breathe, and Reflect
Pausing along the journey to reflect can help you enhance your capacity and improve your mood.
Tips for the Road
All journeys require periods of rest. There are different types of rest and ways of experiencing rest. Here are some helpful offerings/tips to help you during your pre-planned and unexpected breaks on the road:
Mindful Belly Breaths
Take a moment to notice your body. Notice all the places that your body connects with a surface (your feet on the floor, your back supported by the chair, or something else). Notice all the places that help your body to feel anchored and sturdy. You may want to take a deep breath in at your own pace—breathe in deeply through your nose into your belly and then exhale slowly through your mouth. As you exhale, you may call out a word that helps to bring you a sense of well-being or helps you to come alive (joy, peace, calm, sunshine, breeze, or the name of a person, place, or thing that brings you pleasant sensations). Take as many additional deep belly breaths as you need. Be sure to notice all the places inside your body that feel more relaxed, expansive, pleasant, or neutral at the end of each exhale. Now, take a moment to appreciate this mindful sense of relaxation, neutrality, or peace inside. Mindful belly breaths can help you to reset your nervous system when you are feeling anxious or disconnected on your journey. This is a practice, and you can engage this practice as often as needed to find rest on your journey.
Handheld Affirmations
At times we feel unmotivated and that our destination is very far away. In these moments, you may want to access a “handheld” affirmation. You can do this by identifying five words that can help you to return to a place of motivation, focus, peace, or something else that you need to believe to overcome an obstacle. For example, “the Lord is for me.” Using these five words, you take your thumb on one hand and call out each word as you touch your thumb to each finger on the same hand. Repeat the handheld affirmation as many times as you need to get beyond the barrier that is challenging your motivation. Notice what happens inside your body and mind as you repeat your affirmation. Where do you sense a shift in your mindset or a sensation in your body that feels more confident, motivated, clear, or rested? You are invited to put down your phone and pick up five words to affirm you on your journey! This is a practice of mindful and emotional rest to fuel your next steps.
Resourcing
A resource is something that engenders a sense of well-being inside of you when you bring it to heart and mind. Resources give us life! The great thing is, we can access resources on our journey simply by naming them, identifying characteristics about our resources, and noticing what happens inside as we do so. Try it! You are invited to identify a person, place, or thing that brings you a sense of wellness and joy. You might think about a best friend, a favorite relaxing spot, a special dessert, or your pet. Consider one resource in detail. For example, if you are thinking about your dog, think about the features—what kind of dog is she? What color? What is her fur like? Think about how your dog brings you joy—the soft touch, funny expressions, great journeys taken together. Notice how you feel inside at this moment. Where do you notice a sense of warmth or joy inside? Taking a moment to identify a resource that you can hold in your heart and mind can foster a sense of well-being and rest as you travel ahead.
Mindful Steps
Let’s move! Movement helps to energize our minds and bodies and may even help to slow things down inside. Yes, movement can help you to slow down and rest. What type of movement does your body need right now? To help relieve the impact of unpleasant thoughts and sensations, you can take mindful steps. These are steps that you can take in a small or large space and at any time of day. Feel free to modify your movement in the way that works best for you. Begin by noticing your feet making contact with the ground or floor beneath you. Next, lift one foot and place it down in front of the other, noticing where your foot first makes contact with the surface beneath. Is it your toes and then the heel of your foot or is it more of a heel-toe contact? Does your footing feel sturdy? Do you feel like you need to take in a few deep breaths to help you anchor? Feel welcome to breathe, and once you feel sturdy and ready, move the other foot forward and repeat this process slowly. Taking a moment to be mindful of your steps can bring forth a sense of pleasantness or peace. You may want to move faster, and if that is what you need, turn up the pace slightly and notice the shift. How does it feel to walk faster or slower? How would you like to walk in your life at this moment? Are there places where you need to slow down or speed up? Take a moment to be mindful in your steps. There is information here to support your life journey!
Cool Down and Hydrate
On your journey, it is imperative to hydrate! This can seem simple, yet it is not. To help, keep a bottle of water with you at all times to engage in planned and unplanned hydration breaks. You may want to spruce up your water with fresh fruit or ice. It may also help to choose a cup or bottle that you love, fill it to the top early in the day, and refuel as often as needed. Staying hydrated can help your mind and body work well on the journey!
Pause, Breathe, and Reflect
The practice of pausing along the journey to reflect can help you to enhance your capacity and improve your mood. One way to experience an effective pause is through rest. Prioritizing sleep and giving yourself moments of relaxation throughout the day are both important aspects of rest. Meditation is another way to refresh your mind. Meditation can involve attending to a meaningful reading such as a biblical passage and/or attending to your own thoughts, inner sensations, and feelings. Meditation can also involve expressions of silence, movement, gratitude, or peace.
You are invited to find a comfortable space to sit, lie, stand, or walk for three to five minutes. You may leave your eyes open or allow them to drop slightly and gently as you settle your body and mind. If you are walking, please keep your eyes open, and you may fix your gaze on an item or space that feels pleasant or neutral. Place one hand on your belly and the other hand over your heart space as you bring to mind one thing that you are grateful for. As you identify the thing or person you are grateful for, you are invited to breathe in and out at a pace that feels pleasant to you. You may also repeat out loud, “Thank you, God” or “I am grateful” as you notice the rise and fall of your breath. You may explore humming as you express gratitude. Notice the rhythm of your tone and all the pleasant sensations that accompany this practice. Take a moment to say to yourself quietly or in a whisper, “I am grateful, I am grounded, I am here, and God is with me.” You may repeat this to yourself multiple times as you continue to notice your breath without judgment. Instead, you are invited into a space of curiosity and love for all that you and others have done to allow you to arrive to this day. You may also want to journal briefly about what you are noticing inside. Center your attention on what is pleasant or neutral. What reflections do you have? How has this pause enhanced your capacity?
