OBITUARY ELEGY

Mickey "The Flying Busman" Mahan

did Floyd Slopanski have a bulbous nose beady eyes or a dimpled ass I’ll never know no picture accompanied his obituary only a list of survivors’ names Rotary Club twenty years in the Navy how many adulterous affairs did Floyd have on hot afternoons in the Motel 6 did he ever light a fart on the living room floor or pull the tassel off a stripper’s tit with his false teeth Floyd belonged to the Presbyterian Church did he ever tithe a wooden nickel what did he wish for on his fiftieth birthday

after a long illness Irma Snoodlehorn died Saturday afternoon in St. Luke’s Hospital she probably had gray hair and wrinkled cheeks or maybe she had a facelift to make her 83 year old skin smooth as a salesman’s pitch maybe I’ll go to calling hours on Monday and see how Irma looks laid out in her box or Myrna or Mary or Bob or Tillie did Irma ever screw Floyd at the Motel 6 or leave her panties in a roadhouse bathroom death’s got a grin as wide as a grave there are no tears on my TIMES tonight