This actor’s speech reminded us that the

PEOPLE THINK ERICA’S NEW LOGO IS SHAPED LIKE A DILDO.

Phew. Pssst… has been holding that in all week. Sorry, let Pssst… try again. Hi hi. Pssst… here. Or is Pssst… actually here? Pssst… is not sure. Pssst… might have died cause Pssst…ate some “vegan” food at the lesser TriBeCa this week. So apparently cheese is cheese, milk doesn’t cause any harm and we can take advantage of university students through false advertising and indifference. NICE. (Keep your eyes out for an article about this).

Yes, Pssst… may be feeling slightly more vindictive than usual too because the lesser TriBeCa refused to let PDBY humans leave papers there for customers. Pssst… doesn’t appreciate the attitude. There is only space for one PRIMA DONNA on campus and that is Pssst…. Pssst… thinks you’ve made quite the mistake. Speaking of mistakes and stupid moves, Pssst… wants to talk about Madelief’s orientation. They may have taken the picture off of Instagram but Pssst… has seen it. Pssst… really enjoyed laughing at you and has the picture saved under favourites (dances with pitchfork). But Pssst… doesn’t really blame you. How should you know pillow cases worn as hats look like a KKK cult ceremony? Pssst… maybe suggests a pillow fight instead next time? Well at least there will be a next time.

Hehe, oh Mopane you knew I was coming to you next. First years are friends not food (Finding Nemo reference, they didn’t eat anyone). But seriously what did you do to get your initiation cancelled? Pssst… is asking for a friend. That same friend also wants to know why TuksFM has such a strong emotional attachment to the letter A? It’s not a stationAry drive. It’s a stationEry drive. E as in PEN. This has been too many years in a row now. Please you are hurting Pssst… and you may even compromise UP. We have to win the Meme War against UJ!!! Imagine they make fun of us for not being able to spell. So If you do it again, Pssst… is telling David. Now Pssst’s stomach hurts from laughing so Pssst… must go. Pssst… has eavesdropping to do, information to trade and rumours to spread.

Pssst… says adieu. xx

SUDOKU

Ambigram Unscramble the following ambigrams to spell some of the 2020 Oscars’ biggest winners, losers and snubs

1. The first South Korean and foreign language film to win best film and best director.

1. SAAPRITE

2. This actress wore a black and gold gown embroidered with the names of female artists snubbed by the Academy.

2. LETNEI ATOPMRN

3. This actor stood up for artificially inseminated cows.

4. In this black comedy film Taika Waititi plays Hitler, a little boy’s imaginary friend.

5. This rapper made a surprise performace on the night. The memes are superb.

6. This actor’s speech reminded us that the movie Cats should never have been made.

7. This director asked for a drink in his acceptance speech.

8. This actor wore a 24-carat golden dress designed by Christian Siriano.

3. UOJQAIN EPHNOIX

4. JJOO ARBIT

5. NMEIEM

6. EAJMS DOCRNE

7. GNOB OJN-OOH

Poetry Corner It was the way you smiled, the way your eyes met mine, the way your touch calmed me and how you became home. Your constant in my chaos, the softness of your touch. The dedication, the promises, the sweet nothings that were whispered and truths spoken with shaking breaths. The nerves, butterflies, soundtracks to our emotions that set us alight and turned us to ash. The dance lessons, whispers in my ear, to feel you, the music and not the eyes of others. The late-night conversations, good morning calls, midnight safety nets created by sleep filled limbs. Hope

The falling without caution, pulled down by the certainty of forever.

Your eyes following her around the room, body leaning towards her. Her hesitation, her withdrawal from a crowd pulled you to her, my fake happiness to be okay. My certainty that you wanted me - it was your history, habits that were showing. Convinced it was me, and not her.

Cold tiled floors replaced the safety nets your exhausted limbs created, as those limbs replaced her cold tiled floors. Still convinced. Crying, hurting and waiting for you to realize my pain, while you kissed away hers. Still convinced. Struggling to breathe from pain, while you struggle to breathe from pleasure. It was over when we set alight, we just burnt out and realized too late. Convinced you loved me, convinced you don’t. War between my heart and mind as I fight to find a reason to still hold on, but hope is the only reason, not reason enough. Mickey Oddy

There is no blame, none on her and none on you. All on me. My hope that I was wrong.

Poetry submitted by UP students to PDBY.

You can submit your poetry to editor@pdby.co.za if you would like to be featured in the PDBY Poetry Corner.

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